# Is toxic energy blocking the life you want?

An episode of [The Overwhelmed Brain](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/743537890), 6 Sep 2026, 36 min.

Audio: https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/prfx.byspotify.com/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/theoverwhelmedbrain/681_-_Is_toxic_energy_blocking_the_life_you_want.mp3?dest-id=168817

What are the obstacles to peace, comfort, and happiness? You may be walking amongst people and things right now that are literally draining positivity from your life.

## Transcript

[0:00] If you're struggling with destructive behaviors that are causing people you care about to distance
[0:04] themselves from you, visit healedbeing.com, where I share lessons that will help you be the
[0:10] healthiest, most supportive person and partner you can be.
[0:15] Welcome to the Overwhelmed Brain podcast, helping you navigate the difficulties in your life and relationships.
[0:21] These are my personal opinions; always seek a professional when you're making choices about
[0:25] your mental health and well-being.
[0:33] Welcome to another episode of The Overwhelmed Brain. I am Paul Colaianni.
[0:39] I've been this person for 56 years, and I hope to last into my 90s.
[0:47] And I hope you are listening now and want the same thing for yourself, but if you don't, why?
[0:55] Is it pain in your life?
[0:59] Physical pain is a different thing; I'm not going to be talking about that.
[1:02] But there's emotional pain that a lot of us can, I don't know, introduce, invite, be forced
[1:13] into to have in our lives, to deal with.
[1:17] There's a lot of emotional pain that can come in our lives.
[1:21] And there's a lot of toxic energy.
[1:24] And I think emotional pain comes from a toxic energy.
[1:28] Toxic energy might be somebody that you don't want to deal with, that you don't want to talk to.
[1:35] Somebody you work for, somebody you are in a relationship with, somebody in your—maybe your
[1:42] family, maybe an ex, an ex-person, a friend can sometimes bring some toxic energy. And a neighbor.
[1:54] I wrote a book a while back—it was an e-book, many, many years ago—called Clear the Path to Happiness.
[2:01] I'm not too fond of that title anymore, but that was what it was called.
[2:06] It was based on a podcast episode that I did of the same name.
[2:11] So if you look in my library of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast, you will find it.
[2:17] The gist of the podcast and the gist of the book is basically that I believe that we're born happy.
[2:27] At least we have an intrinsic happiness inside of us.
[2:32] And I believe that over time, through childhood, through trauma, through sometimes abuse, sometimes
[2:40] neglect, sometimes silly things that when we look back aren't a big deal now, but were then.
[2:48] And I believe those things that come into our lives, that we allow into our lives, that we invite
[2:54] into our lives, or like I said, are forced upon us, come into our lives where we are reluctantly
[3:04] letting it be and we can't do anything about it, so we're dealing with it.
[3:08] I believe that those things are obstacles to happiness.
[3:13] I believe that when there are too many of those, that happiness wanes, decreases, disintegrates,
[3:23] and we become unhappy and maybe miserable.
[3:28] And sometimes maybe even toxic ourselves.
[3:32] So my book, my episode, and my belief and my philosophy, at least on clearing the path to happiness,
[3:40] is getting rid of all those obstacles systematically, one at a time.
[3:46] This is something that I've been practicing for many, many years, is assessing my life, taking
[3:52] an inventory, looking at the people in my life, looking at the stuff in my life, where I live,
[3:59] who I'm in a relationship with, what family members I talk to or deal with.
[4:07] Who is in my life?
[4:08] What is in my life that I might look at as a toxic energy?
[4:14] I look at the word toxic as talk sick.
[4:19] Makes me sick to talk to them. Or stuff. Just stuff.
[4:27] Why do I have this thing, this material object?
[4:33] I've been talking recently on another episode, I don't know, a few weeks back.
[4:39] Maybe it was a couple of weeks, I don't know.
[4:40] But the minimization that sometimes needs to take place in your life in order to downsize and
[4:50] remove the toxic energy that's in your life.
[4:53] So there might be things and people in your life that might need removing, might need an adjustment in some way.
[5:04] I moved a thousand miles away, actually.
[5:07] The farthest I've moved from a toxic energy in my life is about 3,000 miles away.
[5:13] My stepfather was in New Hampshire with the rest of my family, and at 20 I was out of there.
[5:20] I did not want to be in New Hampshire near him.
[5:25] It really left a mark.
[5:28] And he, if you haven't heard me talk about this, but my stepfather was an alcoholic. He was abusive.
[5:34] He passed out every night, which was nice when he was passing out.
[5:37] But before, when he wasn't passing out, he was harmful. He was loud. He was destructive.
[5:43] He hit my mom a few times. He hurt my siblings.
[5:47] And I was just scared to death of him.
[5:49] He never actually put his hands—well, he did once.
[5:52] He put his hands on me once.
[5:54] It wasn't a slap or a hit, but I was like four years old and he held me down and he was rubbing
[6:00] my dirty underwear in my face, if I must be so graphic, sorry.
[6:04] But little boys shouldn't do that, was his approach or his complaint about what I did in my pants at four.
[6:18] I had four years of life on this earth.
[6:20] I haven't even—at that time, I hadn't even reached consciousness, literally. I was just living.
[6:26] I was just trying to figure things out.
[6:28] And so him and his state of mind back then, that scared the hell out of me.
[6:35] And then growing up in the same house, all of us, my siblings, my mom, and all of us had to deal with that.
[6:44] My mom took the brunt of it.
[6:46] My mom became the people pleaser.
[6:48] She tried to keep him calm, to protect us, to protect herself, to keep peace in the house.
[6:56] It never worked—well, it worked sometimes because she was very good at enabling, in the sense
[7:03] that she was able to clean up after him and make sure that things were taken care of, that he
[7:09] either broke or destroyed in some way everything. It was a mess. Dysfunctional toxic mess.
[7:17] I'm sure a lot of people listening now can relate.
[7:21] So I had these obstacles appear in my childhood, as we all have, that some stuck, some didn't, some got repressed.
[7:33] And when all these obstacles build up in our lives, I believe they block what we're supposed
[7:42] to be feeling and how we're supposed to live our lives and make decisions.
[7:49] We make decisions from a place of whatever's in our foundation at the deepest level, what we believe, what we value.
[7:59] And if we believe that making a certain decision or saying a certain thing or doing a certain
[8:05] thing is bad for us, we probably won't do it.
[8:10] However, what is your foundation?
[8:13] This is something I just talked about recently in another episode.
[8:16] Whatever your foundation is, is where you make that decision from.
[8:22] And so clearing the path to happiness is not just about finding happiness.
[8:27] It can be finding peace, comfort.
[8:30] How about just not being upset, not being sad, not being scared, not living with anxiety, not
[8:40] living with paranoia, not living with obsessive-compulsive behaviors?
[8:45] Because there might be—I mean, some of these are conditions you might need to talk to somebody
[8:49] professionally, but some of these are also—they develop because of our foundational, the concepts
[8:56] that we develop in childhood and growing up.
[8:59] And so here we are as adults trying to figure out how to live in the world with this belief
[9:06] that this is how we're supposed to live our lives.
[9:09] And so I see happiness and peace and comfort and general fulfillment and satisfaction in our
[9:14] lives as if we're not feeling that, we're being blocked.
[9:19] And what is blocking that?
[9:21] What is keeping us from feeling that way, keeping us from feeling more positive?
[9:27] And that is toxic energy.
[9:30] And so I had a message come to me many years ago, and I'm going to read it to you now, and I'm
[9:36] going to reach out to them.
[9:37] I don't know if they're still listening to the show, but I want to find out where they are today.
[9:41] But this person wrote and said, "I've been listening for about a year.
[9:45] I want to send you a quick note and let you know how much you've helped me.
[9:48] I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for a good 30 years, and I finally left.
[9:53] I don't know if it's common in these difficult relationships for the abusive partner to encourage
[9:59] entanglements, but that is where I found myself.
[10:02] Early in, I was asked by my business mentor to start a business in our town.
[10:07] My now ex pushed me to quit my executive position and start a business." So that is the entanglement
[10:14] she's talking about, is that when she was in this relationship, her ex—I mean, her now ex—said,
[10:24] "Hey, let's start a business together." So basically, you quit your good cushy job and let's start a business together.
[10:32] And what she's asking about is about the abusers, abusive people, toxic people, encouraging entanglements.
[10:41] Before I even read the rest of the message, the answer is yes.
[10:45] Certain people will encourage you to create or get into commitments with them to tie you into,
[10:55] to keep you tangled and tied to them.
[10:59] It's similar to enmeshment, but enmeshment is usually what follows entanglement.
[11:06] So you get tied in with somebody, and now you have all these commitments together.
[11:10] And then if you get enmeshed, you're kind of losing yourself and you lose your autonomy, you
[11:15] lose your independence, and now you're psychologically trauma-bonded to them, or you have some
[11:23] sort of codependence going on, and/or both.
[11:26] And it's hard to get away because you're just so tied into them psychologically.
[11:34] And it's very difficult to get out of entanglements and then the deeper issue of enmeshments.
[11:41] And here's a good example of someone who got into a relationship with a toxic person.
[11:46] So there is an introduction of a toxic energy into her life.
[11:51] And then he convinced her to quit her job and start a business with him.
[11:57] So there's another toxic energy that not only she cannot get away from him now by going or leaving
[12:04] the house and going to work, but now she's with him probably 24/7.
[12:10] So if she didn't realize he was abusive yet, that makes sense.
[12:15] If she did know it, it's a huge gamble, isn't it?
[12:18] It's more than a gamble.
[12:20] It's sort of like, "I know what's going to happen." So I'll give her the benefit of the doubt,
[12:25] thinking, "Hey, this might be a good idea." And she didn't see the extent of his abusive ways
[12:31] and his, I'll use her words, encouraging entanglement.
[12:36] And so he encouraged her to quit and commit to something that he wanted to do with her.
[12:42] And she goes on to say, "Let's continue this.
[12:46] While he had no experience in the industry that we started, I found myself in business with him.
[12:53] And despite his terrible behavior, I know my business and I work hard, so the business did well.
[12:58] We even built a new home." But then more entanglements.
[13:02] His father came to live with us.
[13:05] And more entanglements were after that.
[13:07] And so what she was saying is that I could see no way forward.
[13:13] I was so wrapped up in his life and our life that it was very difficult to get out of it.
[13:20] So this is where I see happiness decreasing, dissolving, satisfaction of life, quality of life
[13:27] dissolving because you're introducing all these, what she is referring to as entanglements and
[13:33] what I'm going to call toxic energies into your life.
[13:37] So she says, "Finally, after 20 years of success, the business faltered and folded." So she
[13:43] was able to push through with the business and have success, but it finally folded.
[13:48] And then she got a great job that she loves, and she was working for someone else, but the giant
[13:54] house that they had was too expensive and they had to sell it.
[13:57] And the entanglements started falling away one by one.
[14:01] So the bad news turned to good news.
[14:03] And there's some good news in there too because the business did well.
[14:09] So moving on, as the entanglements started falling away one by one, because of the things I've
[14:15] learned on your podcast, I told him I would not be signing up for another "tour of duty" and
[14:20] I would not be looking for a new living arrangement with him.
[14:24] He blamed me for burning down our lives. He screamed. He yelled.
[14:29] He said terrible things about what a loser I was.
[14:32] And surely my new company would see that and fire me.
[14:37] He told my children everything was my fault.
[14:40] But I kept going back to a mantra I learned from you.
[14:43] Keep showing up as your authentic self. I have.
[14:47] I have a new place. It's calm.
[14:49] There's no yelling or belittling.
[14:51] And while I'm no spring chicken, I have more spring in my step than I have had in years.
[14:57] The kids are great, and they're old enough now to know that their dad's narcissistic tendencies
[15:02] are a challenge for anyone caught in his grip.
[15:05] I guess I don't really have a question as much as I hope that other people who feel like there
[15:09] are too many entanglements to get out and get right about their future.
[15:14] The creative tension between your current reality and your vision of a life free of hurt and
[15:21] control, you start making changes that will lead you toward your vision, even if you are doing it subconsciously.
[15:29] I want to thank the person.
[15:30] I don't know if you're listening to the show, but I hope you're still in this great space and
[15:37] have gotten happier and removed all the toxic energy obstacles in your life.
[15:44] I'm going to write to her and find out how she's doing, but I wanted to read that because it's
[15:49] perfect for what I was just talking about, removing those toxic energies and getting into a
[15:55] space not necessarily that you created, but that resulted.
[16:04] So yes, she created this space, but it was more of a result of taking things away.
[16:10] So it's not like she put things in her life.
[16:14] She took things out of her life.
[16:27] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
[16:29] If I could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, it would probably be talking on the
[16:33] phone, believe it or not.
[16:35] You'd think as a broadcaster I'd have no problem with phone calls, but the truth is I do much
[16:40] better in person, probably because it feels like there always has to be something to fill in those quiet moments.
[16:46] And I thought about that because my wife can run circles around me on the phone, and I admire that ability.
[16:53] She can call people or companies up and get things resolved right away where I need, I don't
[16:58] know, at least a half a page of notes before I call anyone because I know I'll forget the important stuff.
[17:03] If you could wake up tomorrow and do one thing better, what would it be?
[17:08] Better is a feeling defined by you.
[17:10] And for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you.
[17:14] It's a focus on global emotional well-being.
[17:17] With thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries, Better is also progress,
[17:23] and it's also getting better at handling those everyday challenges that trip us up.
[17:28] Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/brain.
[17:32] That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com, forward slash brain.
[17:46] I love that concept. I love the ability to look at your life and say, "Well, it's easier to remove some things.
[17:56] It's hard to remove other things and people, but it's easier to look at something and say, 'I
[18:00] can get rid of that.'" Instead of looking outside of where you live or looking outside yourself,
[18:08] looking outside into the world and say, "I need to get that into my life." That's a different feeling.
[18:15] It's a different process of thinking.
[18:18] And when you can look at your stuff and the people in your life and make choices about what
[18:23] you need to remove or change.
[18:27] I had a when I was in my 20s, I used to be able to install my own car stereo.
[18:32] So I would buy a car stereo, install it, wire it up, and make it look clean.
[18:37] And I got really good at it.
[18:39] And I had a neighbor.
[18:41] I was living in an apartment complex, and he saw what I was doing, and he asked if I wanted
[18:46] to go into business with him.
[18:49] And I said, "Well, that's an interesting thing.
[18:51] I never thought of that." And so I said, "Okay." So I started making the initial arrangements,
[18:57] like, "Where am I going to buy the stereos, and how are we going to get the customers?" And
[19:01] he said I was going to get the customers from a car dealer and all this other stuff.
[19:05] But as I was moving forward, I did not really like the idea of working with him.
[19:12] And I also thought about being in all these different cars, being responsible for all the property
[19:19] in the cars or the damage that I might do to the cars.
[19:23] It all started coming at me, and I started thinking that it would be a bad idea because I wouldn't
[19:32] necessarily feel like I knew he wasn't going to support me in doing the work.
[19:37] He was just going to run the show and the behind the scenes and get the customers.
[19:41] So I would be on my own, and I was in my 20s, and we didn't have internet back then.
[19:45] So if I got stuck, I wouldn't know what to do.
[19:47] I would have to make contacts.
[19:48] And I'm sure I could have made it work out.
[19:50] But the more and more I got involved, the more sick, emotionally sick I felt about it, and I
[19:59] decided to finally tell him.
[20:03] And it was hard for me because I hated confrontation because I felt like this was a confrontation when I said it.
[20:08] I said, "Look, I've been thinking about it, and I really don't want to go forward with this."
[20:13] And he gave me this look like, "What do you mean?
[20:16] We're doing this thing." And I said, "I just can't do it." Now, that could have been my fear
[20:22] saying, "Oh, you're not good enough, and you're not going to figure it out." Because nowadays
[20:28] I do try things, and if it works, it works.
[20:30] If it doesn't, it doesn't. It's no big deal.
[20:32] But back then, I might have had more fear.
[20:34] I did have more fear of failure, more fear of disappointing, more fear of what happens when
[20:41] I damage what am I going to if I damage somebody's car, what am I going to do then?
[20:46] So I didn't have a lot of answers, and I was afraid to go forward without the answers.
[20:51] But I was following my instinct.
[20:53] I was following my intuition, I guess.
[20:55] And I said, "I don't really want to do this. It doesn't feel good.
[20:58] Every time I think of every aspect of this, I don't like it." Because that's our intuition, right, coming in.
[21:05] We don't know if that intuition is based on truth or not. We just feel it.
[21:10] So I decided to pull back.
[21:12] And I told him that I wasn't going to work, and I suddenly felt better. I suddenly felt great.
[21:19] I removed this obstacle from my happiness, the obstacle that was blocking the path to happiness.
[21:27] Another thing that happened is I was working at this company once in Florida, and I hated my
[21:33] job so much, but I kept going and I kept going.
[21:38] This was a different job, if you remember me talking about another job.
[21:42] I hated three jobs in my life.
[21:44] The first job was in Kmart.
[21:46] The second job was a service company that worked on alarm systems.
[21:50] And I hated this part of my job.
[21:53] It was like a service desk that I talked to angry customers all day.
[21:58] Then my boss brings me into his office one day and says, "Well, basically, I'm demoting you.
[22:02] I am firing you," I think he said.
[22:05] But it was a demotion.
[22:06] It was actually a move to another department, the department I was in before, actually.
[22:10] And suddenly I was like, "What's going on?" I thought I was doing a good job, but I was miserable there.
[22:17] I was getting headaches every day.
[22:19] But I refused to quit.
[22:20] I was going to make that job work.
[22:22] But after I left his office, I felt so much better.
[22:28] I got rid of a toxic energy.
[22:31] I'm telling you these stories because sometimes we keep doing the same thing and doing it and
[22:37] doing it and doing it.
[22:40] We're not living our lives.
[22:41] We're just pushing through and surviving and trying to make things work.
[22:47] And I know sometimes we can't always make things work.
[22:50] We can't make the money we want or be with the people that we want, or we can't move out because
[22:56] there are issues, there are commitments, there are entanglements, or the worst possible enmeshments
[23:02] that were psychologically tied to people in ways that are very difficult because of dysfunctional
[23:09] behaviors and codependents and things like that.
[23:13] So we can lock ourselves into these relationships and situations that we can't get out of, or
[23:20] at least we feel like we can't get out of because we feel like we have no choice.
[23:25] But we have to start somewhere.
[23:27] We have to start with something.
[23:29] And sometimes that does mean a little bit of a sacrifice.
[23:34] I told you I talked about minimizing recently on another episode, and I'm starting to get rid
[23:38] of things in the house that have been sitting in closets and under beds and in boxes that I haven't touched for years.
[23:46] And I sold this one thing to somebody.
[23:49] He came over and picked it up, and I said, "Hey, you want to take this too?
[23:53] You want to take this other thing that I could have sold for 10, 20 bucks or whatever, maybe
[23:59] 30, I don't know?" But I decided to give it away because I just wanted to make space.
[24:05] So I gave up the opportunity to make some income just to make space.
[24:10] What am I making space for?
[24:11] I'm making space for myself.
[24:13] I'm making space for my marriage.
[24:16] I'm making space in the house.
[24:19] I showed my wife my home office yesterday because I finally cleaned it.
[24:25] I had to clean once, and it got busy and disorganized, and it just got a little messy.
[24:30] So my office became a little cluttered, and she didn't like it.
[24:34] I didn't like it, but I was always busy. I didn't have time.
[24:37] And then finally, I took the time and cleaned it up.
[24:40] And now I feel really good in my office just from these little changes I've made, moving things
[24:45] around and cleaning things and getting rid of anything that might be affecting my life.
[24:52] And that doesn't mean it's toxic.
[24:54] It just means it opens the path.
[24:57] It clears the path to whatever is preventing me from feeling calm, comfort, peace, happiness.
[25:04] So I know that I'm like a broken record today.
[25:07] I keep telling you the same thing over and over again.
[25:09] I've been accused of that, repeating things over and over again.
[25:14] I'm just emphasizing just how important this is.
[25:18] Sometimes people surround themselves with stuff, and they think that makes things better.
[25:25] And I've been in place my mom, I hate to say this, we know she sold on eBay for a long time.
[25:32] When you walk in her house, it was a lot of inventory.
[25:37] She was collecting a lot of inventory, but she would sell it.
[25:41] She wasn't attached to it. She would sell it.
[25:43] But it was that cluttered feeling that I'm talking about.
[25:48] And so the whole point of this episode is to ask you to take inventory of your life and ask
[25:55] yourself, "What would change your life if you were to remove it from your life or give it to
[26:03] someone else or take yourself out of a situation?" And I know sometimes it feels impossible. You can't do it.
[26:13] You know you can't do it.
[26:15] It's money, time, energy, and resources, and you have no place to live, no place to work.
[26:20] I mean, these are very real.
[26:24] But I've also noticed in my life, and I'm not saying you should do this.
[26:28] I'm not saying that you should quit your job, but there were jobs that I had, three in particular,
[26:34] maybe a fourth, but there were jobs that I had that were really killing me emotionally, psychologically.
[26:44] They felt like life-draining entities that were attached to me.
[26:52] So those were toxic energies.
[26:55] And when I quit or in that one case got fired from those jobs, I was happy.
[27:03] I was happy when I quit the one job, the one in California I had for a while when my then wife
[27:12] and I were broke, and I finally got a job, and I ended up quitting because I felt so stifled and miserable there.
[27:21] But when I quit and went home and went back to the soup kitchen, literally, I was happier than I'd ever been. I felt so good.
[27:32] And because I was happy, not only did it clear the path to peace and calm and happiness, it
[27:39] also allowed me to clear the fog of thinking.
[27:42] Because sometimes we have these toxic energies that are causing us to make decisions that are
[27:48] wrong or hurtful, emotionally debilitating.
[27:53] And when we have this toxicity in our life, it's hard to make better decisions for ourselves.
[28:00] So I was in this toxic job.
[28:02] I got out of it. I was happier. I was clear.
[28:05] And I was also clear about what I needed to do next.
[28:10] And that was not get a job like that.
[28:13] Because I was in that job, and I believed I needed to stay to make money because we were broke.
[28:18] But when my wife said, "I support whatever you do," I was like, "Holy cow, that's amazing." And I quit.
[28:26] Just a month or two later, I got a job that I loved that paid more.
[28:31] And it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't got rid of the toxicity in my life at that point.
[28:37] And it did help to have someone that was fully supportive.
[28:41] Because I'm sure that there are many couples out there, if one said, "I'm going to quit my job,
[28:46] and we're going to be broke and go to the soup kitchen," the other person would say, "You can't quit your job.
[28:52] You can't do that." And it does take strength.
[28:57] It takes a mental strength to have that kind of conversation and be on board together.
[29:05] This is what I've learned.
[29:06] When I met Asha, my wife, I wanted her to not work.
[29:12] I wanted her to have a break because she worked so hard all the time.
[29:18] She is like a machine, and it stresses her out.
[29:22] And some things that she did, she didn't want to do.
[29:25] And I just told her, "I want to get you out of there.
[29:28] I want you to relax and feel comfortable." And she said, "Well, I can't.
[29:33] We need to make money." And it was true.
[29:35] We needed to make money.
[29:36] But I told her, "I'd rather see you happy, and we're going to have to tough it out for a while
[29:44] than have you go to work that is draining you." Because if it drains you, this is what is happening in the relationship too.
[29:53] I'm not saying it's her fault that the relationship is now toxic.
[29:56] I'm saying that what we bring into the relationship, it really becomes what it is.
[30:01] If I bring in my stress to the relationship, it becomes stressful.
[30:06] If she brings in her stress, it becomes stressful.
[30:09] Not because I'm upset that she's bringing in this energy.
[30:12] It's because I'm upset that she feels bad.
[30:15] I'm unhappy that she's unhappy.
[30:18] This is what a relationship should be based on.
[30:22] We should want our other person, our partner, to be happy.
[30:27] And if you don't have a partner, we should want the people we love to be happy.
[30:32] And they should want us to be happy.
[30:33] It should work both ways.
[30:35] So when it doesn't, what happens? The relationship is lopsided.
[30:39] If one person's happy and the other person's not, if one person's stressed and the other person
[30:44] isn't, or if both people are stressed, obviously, it's a formula for unhappiness and discomfort.
[30:53] And so how do we change that?
[30:54] We might have to make hard decisions.
[30:57] And some people have a really good job, and they don't want to quit.
[31:01] Some people believe they have a great relationship, and they don't want to be alone.
[31:04] So making those decisions is hard.
[31:07] But I just ask, "Where are these decisions coming from?" That's all I'm asking.
[31:14] If you're afraid to, and again, don't take my advice.
[31:17] Don't do what I did.
[31:20] Because if you do, you could end up broke.
[31:23] You could end up alone. It's true.
[31:26] You could end up in these things.
[31:28] In my experience, when I took the risk and removed the toxic energy from my life, it always
[31:35] opened the door to something better.
[31:39] Because the toxic energy was gone. The fog had lifted.
[31:43] I was able to think clearly and move with more energy and feel better in myself, which opened
[31:50] the door to new possibilities.
[31:53] I hope you got something from this episode today.
[31:56] Don't do anything I've told you to do.
[31:59] It might change your life.
[32:00] I believe it changes lives for the better.
[32:03] Because anytime I talked to somebody who said, "Oh, yeah, I quit that job I hated.
[32:07] I was making 300K a year, and I quit it, and suddenly I'm making 50K a year, and I'm happier
[32:13] than I've ever been." I hear those stories all the time.
[32:16] And same thing with relationships. "Oh, I was afraid to be alone, and I had to leave because
[32:22] they were so awful, and I just wasn't happy. And I was alone.
[32:27] And I was alone for three years.
[32:29] And I met this person that I would never have met had I not got out of that relationship to
[32:34] get out of the fog, to start thinking clearly, to make different decisions, to take different
[32:38] steps in my life." And then it put me in a position where something opened up.
[32:45] Something opened up that would not have been available otherwise.
[32:49] So it can happen, and it can also put you in a place where unhappiness increases a little bit, a lot. So there is risk.
[33:03] But the way I live is I take the risk if the toxicity is draining me.
[33:08] That's how I look at things.
[33:10] It's a perspective, and it's a direction that I take.
[33:13] Doesn't mean you have to.
[33:15] But I hope you got something from today's episode. Thank you for listening.
[33:18] I want to thank the person who wrote.
[33:20] I'm going to send you an email and say, "Hey, I talked about you on this weekend's episode."
[33:23] So I hope things are well.
[33:25] I want to thank the patrons of the week, Maria, Heather, and Christy.
[33:29] I'm always grateful to see your names.
[33:31] I see different names every week, and they remind me just how special I feel.
[33:38] I feel talk about good energies in your life.
[33:41] When people support the show, it just melts my heart. It's amazing.
[33:47] We've never met, and this is what you're doing for me.
[33:51] This is amazing to me. So thank you, patrons.
[33:53] I appreciate your support, and I'm grateful.
[33:56] And if you find value in the show like these patrons do and you want to give back, head over
[34:00] to moretob.com, and there are options to do that over there.
[34:05] And for a show on how to navigate the difficult relationship, listen to my other podcast called
[34:10] Love and Abuse over at loveandabuse.com.
[34:14] And if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship, join the program that is helping
[34:17] a lot of people heal over at healedbeing.com.
[34:21] And with that, always keep your mind open because that's how you make the best decisions.
[34:28] Be firm in your decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want.
[34:33] Always take steps to grow and evolve.
[34:36] You are powerful beyond measure.
[34:39] And above all, and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you, you are amazing.

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