# How to express emotions for the emotionally unexpressive

An episode of [The Overwhelmed Brain](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/743537890), 20 Sep 2026, 38 min.

Audio: https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/prfx.byspotify.com/e/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/theoverwhelmedbrain/683_-_How_to_express_emotions_for_the_emotionally_unexpressive.mp3?dest-id=168817

If you feel stuck or awkward expressing emotions, I've been there! In this episode, I confront how avoidance, people-pleasing, fear of judgment, and more keep you emotionally distant from yourself and the people who want to connect with you.

## Transcript

[0:00] Is your relationship on the verge of crashing?
[0:03] If one or both of you is doing emotionally abusive behavior and you're ready to heal and change
[0:07] that behavior, check out your best chance at saving the relationship at healedbeing.com.
[0:13] This podcast can be life-changing, so always seek a professional before making any choices about
[0:18] your mental health and well-being. Welcome to the show.
[0:21] This is I'm just going to read a question.
[0:26] I have a lot of emails and a lot of messages that have come my way that I haven't answered and I've sat on.
[0:38] It doesn't mean I'm ignoring them; it just means I get a lot of questions, and those questions I try to answer.
[0:44] I only have a weekly show, not an hourly show.
[0:47] If I had an hourly show, I could answer them all, but I have a weekly show, so I try to do my best here.
[0:52] So I'm going to just ask these questions off the cuff, not really think about them ahead of
[0:59] time, and see where we go with them.
[1:02] First one is: "I'd prefer to talk in person." This person is asking about one-on-one consulting
[1:08] and coaching, but I have a question. "I believe strongly in the power of expressing emotions.
[1:14] Is there a way to learn this stuff in a way that you would recommend, or do you have a program that teaches the process?
[1:20] I'm assuming the better option is a more holistic route instead of the conventional therapy
[1:24] approaches." That is a loaded question.
[1:30] This is like saying, "I want to talk about how you breathe air," and I realize some people have difficulty expressing emotions.
[1:44] Now, I don't know if this means the same thing as feeling emotions for this person.
[1:50] First of all, I want to thank you for writing.
[1:52] I appreciate you sharing this.
[1:54] This is kind of old, so I don't even know if this person listens to the show anymore, but I
[1:58] save all these questions because eventually I do address this stuff.
[2:02] But this person asked, "I believe strongly in the power of expressing emotions." So there's
[2:08] a belief, a strong belief, in expressing emotions, the power of expressing emotions.
[2:14] So I think that, to me — I'm interpreting this right now — I think that means this person feels
[2:21] emotions and maybe does express emotions because they believe in the power of doing so.
[2:30] Is there a way to learn this stuff in a way that you would recommend, or do you have a program that teaches this process?
[2:35] The process I teach about expressing emotions is pretty much in every episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.
[2:43] I mean, that's a good resource.
[2:46] I do consider this a show about emotional intelligence. Expressing emotions in general?
[2:53] Again, it's sort of a question that somebody might ask, like, "How do you breathe air?
[2:59] What's your process of breathing air?" And that's not to downplay the question, because some
[3:04] people do have a problem expressing emotions.
[3:08] I'm assuming the better option is a more holistic route instead of conventional therapy approaches.
[3:14] So here I am thinking about how to express emotions.
[3:19] This is what I've done.
[3:20] This is something that just came to my mind.
[3:23] I mean, I talk about emotions all the time, and again, emotional intelligence is very important to me.
[3:27] I try to teach that in every episode in some way.
[3:31] But I remember when I started this show, it was so difficult to express emotions through my
[3:40] voice, through the intonations and inflections of my voice.
[3:44] And so I had to read a lot.
[3:47] I had to script out what I was going to say.
[3:51] And it was very difficult to, A, give you any dead air, like just now.
[4:01] Give you dead air meant, "Oh crap, people are listening. They might tune out.
[4:06] They might wonder what's going on." But in normal, everyday conversations, we do dead air.
[4:13] I mean, that's what happens.
[4:15] But on the radio, I mean, they try to avoid it, I think.
[4:19] Because if there's dead air, what's going on? You can't tell.
[4:22] But I've learned to be okay with dead space, dead air, because the pauses have emotional value as well.
[4:36] The pauses give us time to either catch up, consider, reflect. The pauses are important.
[4:47] And so that's part of, like, one component of something that I learned: the pauses are important.
[4:52] Another thing that happened to me when I started this show back in 2013 was, as I talked, it
[5:02] was very difficult to inflect high or low.
[5:08] What I mean by that is, if I'm talking to you and I'm excited about something, I'm inflecting very high.
[5:14] You can hear it in my voice.
[5:16] The emotion is coming out in my voice.
[5:20] That is a wonderful way to express emotions through your inflections.
[5:26] And believe me, if you've not — or if you don't do this and you've not done this, or you've
[5:32] not practiced it — it's going to feel very strange.
[5:35] And that's exactly what happened when I started recording this show, is that it felt very strange to inflect.
[5:44] And so being excited, my inflections go high, and then I talk about something difficult: somebody
[5:52] going through an abusive relationship, somebody sharing with me a challenge they're having,
[5:59] and my voice goes lower.
[6:02] Not because I'm forcing it, but because I'm feeling that emotion.
[6:07] I'm in that space, that emotional space.
[6:12] And that helps me connect with this person, with you.
[6:18] Because I want to be in that space.
[6:19] It's a sympathetic, empathetic space.
[6:24] I know I can be sympathetic toward someone, but to be empathetic means, boy, I can relate to that.
[6:31] I mean, I'm right there with you.
[6:33] If somebody says, "I had a breakup," I can empathize.
[6:37] If somebody says, "I was very excited about skydiving," I cannot empathize with that.
[6:45] I've never done it, and I have no excitement about that.
[6:49] I think it would be — it would be scary, and it's too much of a risk for me to enjoy it.
[6:56] Would I ever do it? I don't know. I'm getting older.
[6:59] Maybe I can put things on my bucket list.
[7:01] But skydiving's not part of it. But
[7:06] I have sympathy for people that write to me, and I can feel it.
[7:11] I can feel what they're going through.
[7:13] And then if it's empathy, if I can relate to it, if I can connect to what they're dealing with,
[7:19] or what challenge they're going through — and even if I can't, if I can't access that empathy,
[7:25] I ask myself, "What would it feel like?" And that's another way to access those emotions inside you.
[7:34] And then to be able to express, I mean, this is what this person is talking about.
[7:37] So let's just say I access the emotions inside.
[7:41] Well, this person didn't really express too much emotion.
[7:44] Maybe this is part of it.
[7:46] But, you know, people write to me and they express some very painful stuff.
[7:51] And I ask myself, "What would that feel like if I were in their shoes?" And as soon as I do
[7:56] that, as soon as I'm in that space with them and being them, now I can come up with some resourceful
[8:08] responses, some commentary, some information, some education, some insight, some opinion, being in that space.
[8:17] And when I'm in that space, I come up with the answers, the insights, the opinions. And it helps.
[8:24] It helps to ask myself, "What would it be like if I were them? How would I feel?
[8:31] What would I do if I were them?" Now, not all of us have the answers.
[8:36] I don't have all the answers.
[8:37] But I've done this long enough and helped a lot of people and done a lot of training and personal
[8:44] growth myself, a lot of healing from dysfunctional and toxic behaviors that I used to do, that
[8:49] I've gained some experience, gained some wisdom in a lot of the challenges that come my way.
[8:58] It's easier for me to jump into empathy because I can ask myself, you know, I can ask, "What
[9:05] would it feel like to be in that position?" And I can put myself in anyone's shoes.
[9:11] It's difficult in some ways with some people.
[9:14] If somebody is talking about, "Hey, I'm trans," or, "I'm gay," it's a little harder for me to empathize.
[9:22] I'm not in that same space.
[9:26] But the emotions — a lot of our emotions in different situations — are the same.
[9:32] If you feel ashamed, if somebody is trying to put you down and make you feel ashamed, I can connect with that.
[9:41] And that's where I go with empathy, is you try to connect in a way where you ask yourself, "What
[9:47] would it feel like to be them?" And if you can't, you ask yourself, "What would they be experiencing?
[9:54] What emotions?" And then you can ask yourself, "Have I ever experienced those emotions before?"
[10:00] That's another way to reach empathy.
[10:02] This isn't exactly answering this person's question, but this is kind of my raw thinking, trying
[10:08] to go through the motions of how I reply and respond to people on this episode and through the
[10:15] help portals that I have set up.
[10:18] And so, to this person, let's come back to what they're looking for. "I believe strongly in
[10:25] the power of expressing emotions." So I'm going to take that as either the verbal, verbal or
[10:33] physical, or, you know, visual.
[10:36] Your mannerisms, your body, the sounds that you make, the faces, your expressions that you make.
[10:43] I know we get a lot of data subconsciously through the nonverbal signs and the verbal signs
[10:50] and the physical, visual signs that we see and hear in someone else.
[10:56] And so you don't have to say anything to hear someone's emotional state or to figure out what
[11:03] emotional state they're in, because you see their mannerisms.
[11:07] You can see where they — I mean, if their shoulders are slumped and their head is down, you know what that's about.
[11:12] That is definitely expressing an emotion.
[11:15] As a former people pleaser, I was very good at hiding most of my negative emotions, probably all of them.
[11:23] And some people saw through that.
[11:25] Some people who knew what people pleasing was and who knew that I was hiding could see that.
[11:30] Not very many, but it happened.
[11:34] I also know what it's like to not have been able to express emotions.
[11:40] Like I was saying, you know, when I started this show, it was very difficult for me to express emotions.
[11:45] And I'm bringing this back on point.
[11:48] The point being when I — you know, making the point of starting this episode or this show —
[11:54] is that I used to not be able to inflect very well.
[11:58] And when you have a podcast or a radio show or anything that audio is important and the only
[12:04] way to tune in, then you are better off trying to convey as much messaging as possible.
[12:14] So if I was monotone all the time and I talked like this and I just held a steady inflection,
[12:21] a steady kind of frequency range of my voice, it's a very monotone thing.
[12:27] I have a low voice, so it's somewhat hypnotic, and it'll probably put people to sleep if I continue to talk like this.
[12:37] In the beginning of my show, that's what I was doing.
[12:40] It felt like that's what I was doing. It felt fake.
[12:43] And it was very hard to express emotionally just using inflection.
[12:51] So what I started to do — actually, the very first thing I did — was listen to someone, listen
[12:56] to a well-established broadcaster, a radio show host, and I heard him talk and I listened.
[13:04] What is different about this guy and myself?
[13:08] What is the difference in how he talks versus the way I talk?
[13:13] And one of the things I kept hearing was the inflection going up and down.
[13:18] I was so fortunate to catch that early on, maybe like six months into the — three to six months into the show.
[13:27] And when I caught that, I realized, "Oh, that's why it's so interesting.
[13:32] That's why he's so magnetizing.
[13:37] He's attractive." I mean, the content is good, of course, but the voice is — I don't want to
[13:44] say attractive, but it makes me want to listen more.
[13:48] There's something about what he's doing and how he's doing it that makes me want to listen to him more.
[13:55] And one of the things was his inflection.
[13:58] And it wasn't just because he was inflecting.
[14:00] It was because I could hear his emotions.
[14:03] I could feel his emotional state through his voice.
[14:08] I think that is attractive.
[14:10] And I'm not using attractive in the right way here.
[14:12] I'm not talking about, "Hey, that's sexy," and all that. I'm not saying that.
[14:17] I'm saying it's an attractive quality that lures me and maybe others, I'm sure, toward it, toward his show.
[14:29] And he had millions of listeners.
[14:31] And so I had to exaggerate.
[14:35] I had to exaggerate my inflections in order to start to feel comfortable with it. And that was uncomfortable.
[14:44] It was uncomfortable exaggerating the inflections because that meant I had to access the emotions that weren't there.
[14:53] In the beginning of this show, it was more about just getting everything correct, doing everything
[15:01] the right way, teaching things that I think people would be interested in, teaching things that
[15:07] I'm interested in, teaching things that I know instead of the stuff I don't know.
[15:12] I didn't want to come across as dumb.
[15:15] So there's a lot of things to think about in the beginning.
[15:18] And when I started practicing those inflections, it was very difficult, very uncomfortable.
[15:24] But as I got used to it, I realized, "Hey, I'm starting to access my emotions." This is what I'm talking about.
[15:32] This is what I was just saying about inflections and things like that.
[15:35] And when you inflect, you access.
[15:39] And you might have to fake it to get there if you're not there.
[15:43] It's very difficult for some people.
[15:45] I've talked with people and I'll say, "Let's access your emotions." I won't use those words,
[15:53] but I'll say, "Let's go there." And mostly men have difficulty with this.
[15:59] I rarely have a problem with women as far as accessing emotional states, but mostly men.
[16:05] And we'll go into that emotional state, and some men will go, "Okay, I'm there.
[16:11] Okay, so you feel really sad about, you know, when your dog died. Yes, I'm there.
[16:18] I feel sad." And they're not there. They're literally not. They are.
[16:25] They can probably visualize it.
[16:27] They may have some sense of sadness, but they're really not there.
[16:32] How do you get there?
[16:35] Well, you take a moment.
[16:36] You got to take off the filters because maybe you don't want to look silly or weak or whatever
[16:41] in front of another person.
[16:43] But if you were truly sad, if you were truly connecting with sadness, then I'm going to hear it.
[16:50] I'm going to see it.
[16:51] I'm going to feel it because I'm very empathetic when it comes to people's sadness.
[16:57] If my wife is crying about something, she's watching on TV, I'll start crying while watching,
[17:03] not watching her, but I'll start crying and I'll go, "Why am I crying?
[17:07] I mean, this is sad, but boy, I'm really — these tears are really coming." And then I'll look
[17:11] over her and she's crying.
[17:12] Oh, okay, that explains it.
[17:14] Not that I wouldn't cry anyway, but when she cries, it kind of doubles up inside of me, which I love.
[17:21] I love being able to feel that.
[17:23] That's something else that happens as you connect with your emotional space, is that you start
[17:31] — I don't know what it is.
[17:32] There's something in the air that we can feel the same thing that somebody else can feel. "Oh, that person's really sad.
[17:40] I feel it." There are highly sensitive people out there.
[17:44] There are highly empathetic people out there that will absolutely feel how you feel inside.
[17:51] Even if you're trying to hide it, even if you're not showing it in any way.
[17:56] Like my ex-wife, I remember I was getting over a depression.
[18:01] When I met her, I was still depressed.
[18:02] I was still working on it, still trying to heal.
[18:05] And I was starting to feel better.
[18:08] And it wasn't because I was in a relationship.
[18:11] It was because she could tell when I shifted inside my body.
[18:19] She could tell when something emotional was going on with, in my opinion, zero signal, zero
[18:27] external signal on the outside.
[18:30] Because I remember hugging her once, and we were doing something.
[18:35] We might have been at Disney — was it Disney?
[18:37] I don't remember where it was.
[18:38] But I hugged her once, and inside me, I had a thought and a feeling and a little bit of sadness.
[18:47] But on the outside, nothing changed.
[18:52] Me, I believed nothing changed.
[18:54] And I remember her words. She said, "What happened?
[18:58] You just shifted." I said, "What the — what do you mean? How do you know?
[19:05] How do you know I just — what are you talking about?" Because I knew it happened inside of me. I did shift.
[19:11] I was going from — I don't know if I was like super happy or just enjoying the time we had together.
[19:19] But when I hugged her, something did shift inside of me, and she caught it the moment it happened. It was amazing.
[19:28] And that's when I knew that I had to stay with this person.
[19:32] I had to stay with her.
[19:33] I mean, I was going to stay with her anyway, but that was really solidifying that this is the
[19:38] person I need because she can see right through me.
[19:41] She can feel right through me.
[19:42] I didn't need her to be able to access my emotions.
[19:46] I think I needed her in many ways, but especially because she could feel my shifts and not let
[19:53] me get away with it, not let me not notice it, and we could talk about it.
[20:00] And she was an amazing help to me, an amazing healer in my life.
[20:07] I'm thinking about her now.
[20:08] I'm actually welling up because of the healing she had done for me in my life. So I'm very grateful.
[20:16] I have a lot of gratitude for her.
[20:19] And I feel awful about how I treated her because she was just so unconditionally loving toward
[20:26] me, and I could not and would not do the same for her.
[20:31] And so I feel bad about that.
[20:33] But the relationship lasted for about eight years, and we got a divorce.
[20:39] She wanted to go her own way, and it was a very good decision for her.
[20:43] And even the divorce was healing.
[20:45] Her leaving me was the path to the ultimate healing for me.
[20:53] This is something — I'm going to go off on a side track here now.
[20:55] This is something that happens in emotionally abusive relationships. 99% of the people who join
[21:01] my Healed Being program, they are there because somebody is either going to leave them or has
[21:08] left them. 99% of them.
[21:12] They typically don't change until the reality hits, the reality of loss hits.
[21:19] And that's when they realize, "Oh crap, I better change or else." And so this is what happened to me.
[21:27] This is why I can talk about it so easily.
[21:29] This is exactly what happened to me.
[21:32] So many people left me in my life.
[21:34] I mean, so many as in like three or four good major relationships that I didn't want to lose. They left me.
[21:41] And every time they left me, I learned something new.
[21:43] And I learned the most from my last relationship, my marriage, my previous marriage.
[21:49] And when that ended, I decided I got to stop getting into these relationships because I keep losing them.
[21:58] And that's when I started working on myself. I finally took responsibility. I finally took accountability.
[22:04] I finally said, "I am the common denominator of all these problems in my life, all these relationship issues.
[22:11] I am going to take responsibility.
[22:13] I'm going to stay single until I figure this out." And I did.
[22:17] And I am grateful for her.
[22:19] And then when I met my now wife, we've been together, wow, 12 years now.
[22:25] When I met her like a year and a half later, I told her — I was still on the healing wagon, healing process.
[22:34] I told her, "I'm not ready.
[22:36] I'm not ready to be in a relationship." I did the mature thing.
[22:40] I'll pat myself on the back.
[22:41] I did the mature thing and said, "I mean, I don't want to get into a relationship.
[22:47] I want you to continue doing what you're doing.
[22:49] If you have dates lined up." I mean, it didn't start this way, but eventually I said, "I don't
[22:54] want to make you think that I'm available." That's how it started. "I don't want to make you think I'm available.
[23:01] You do your thing, and maybe someday we'll work on this or not." But I wanted to be friends with her. It was great. So we were friends.
[23:09] And eventually, we both got together and realized, "Hey, this is really nice.
[23:15] I'm not emotionally abusive anymore.
[23:16] I'm not a toxic person anymore." And she's never seen — I mean, she's seen little bits of toxicity
[23:23] because I was still healing from some stuff.
[23:25] And if you ask her, she'll say, "Oh yeah, we had some problems in the beginning, but we are
[23:31] better than ever." In fact, just today, she said something that it was really touching.
[23:36] She goes, "I love us. I love our marriage.
[23:40] I love our relationship." I said, "I do too.
[23:43] I love us." And that's great.
[23:46] So that's my little side track.
[23:48] And let me come back to the topic of the episode, which is expressing emotions.
[23:55] And I really do believe that my journey in expressing — the way I started being able to express
[24:05] myself, express emotionally, it started with this show.
[24:10] I mean, I was doing well before.
[24:14] I was vulnerable and I was practicing.
[24:17] But when I started this show, I had to be basically on the audio stage, the virtual stage, and
[24:26] be the "star" of the show and the only person that people were paying attention to.
[24:31] Because right now, you're paying attention to me.
[24:33] I mean, maybe you're watching somebody else or listening to somebody else at the same time.
[24:37] But now I'm front and center. I'm on stage.
[24:42] I could feel anxiety like I did in the first six months of the show, but I feel great.
[24:48] I am even being raw today. I am not editing.
[24:53] I had like one or two edits because of some major interruptions I had to.
[24:57] But for the most part, this is what happens in an episode.
[25:01] I just talk through things and come up with my thoughts, my insights, and see where it goes.
[25:09] So what I have learned is that there is some faking it until you make it.
[25:17] There is some exaggeration of what you want to be, how you want to be like.
[25:23] There is some exaggeration that may need to take place in order for you to reach a place that
[25:29] you feel more comfortable doing it.
[25:32] There's a great example of this, and it has to do with what I heard.
[25:36] I think I saw a TED Talk where somebody was talking about — oh yeah, that's what it was.
[25:41] Somebody said, "I used to be afraid to leave the house.
[25:44] I had high anxiety." What's the house thing? Agoraphobia or something.
[25:49] And I was in — or I am an introvert, and I was afraid to talk to people.
[25:55] And I would go to a party, and I would just stay away from people and just read what's on my phone.
[26:00] And I realized I didn't want to be that way anymore.
[26:03] And I didn't know if that was just who I was and who I am.
[26:07] And I tried all this stuff, and it didn't work, therapy and all this stuff.
[26:13] And so I decided that I needed — and these are my words — I needed to face my fear and do it anyway. We've heard that before.
[26:21] I didn't make that up, but she didn't say this.
[26:25] And what she did was she exaggerated what it would be like, or she exaggerated the actual act
[26:33] of what she was afraid of by doing it.
[26:37] So if she were at a party, she forced herself to talk to people.
[26:42] If she were afraid to do a podcast, for example, she would do a podcast.
[26:47] And what she kept doing was basically like exposure therapy.
[26:51] She kept exposing herself to what she was afraid of over and over and over again until she got
[26:58] to the point where she realized — and again, my words — that she was going to be okay, that
[27:04] she was going to survive.
[27:06] A lot of anxiety is the fear of judgment, the fear of an emotional impact so hard that it feels like death or panic.
[27:15] A lot of it is just because we haven't done it enough.
[27:20] And so she would find ways to kind of exaggerate.
[27:25] I wish I could remember the detail because it was really good.
[27:28] But she just kept exposing herself to everything she was afraid of over and over again.
[27:33] It's very similar to when we first moved into this house.
[27:38] We have this — what is it? — 25 foot, 30 foot ladder or something like that.
[27:44] I had to clean the gutters on the far end of the house, which is above a garage and on top of the second story.
[27:50] We have a one-story house, but there's a garage below.
[27:53] And so I put the ladder all the way to the top where the gutters are.
[27:57] And I thought, "Oh, this is just a ladder.
[27:59] I'll climb and I'll be okay." First of all, I barely got to the top.
[28:05] Secondly, when I got to the top, I freaked out.
[28:09] I started to feel very nervous.
[28:12] I looked around, and then I stopped, and then I just held the ladder.
[28:15] And I stood on the ladder for a good five minutes. I just stayed there. I didn't move.
[28:22] I was scared as hell.
[28:24] I was looking around going, "Oh my God, the ladder could slip. I could fall.
[28:27] This is so high." I didn't know I was scared of heights until I got up there.
[28:31] I hadn't been on a ladder for a long time.
[28:32] And when I was on a ladder before, it was okay.
[28:35] I used to work on ladders. No big deal.
[28:38] But boy, I haven't been on one for a long time.
[28:40] And I was up near the gutter, ready to clean it, and I couldn't even move.
[28:47] I think I ended up going back down the ladder very slowly, one step, one step.
[28:53] And I looked up again.
[28:55] I said, "Jeez, I don't know if I could do this.
[28:58] I might have to hire somebody to do this.
[29:00] I don't know if I can do this." And so I did it.
[29:05] I went up the ladder again, slowly, and it wasn't easy, and I was frozen again. I did some cleaning.
[29:14] I managed to get through it.
[29:15] I got back down, and I was done. That was it. I had enough.
[29:20] I think it was the next day or sometime very soon, like a few days later, I had to go back up
[29:26] again because I didn't get much done the first time.
[29:30] And it was a lot easier. I thought, "What?
[29:34] Why do I feel more comfortable now?" It was very strange. I mean, it's normal. Exposure therapy, right?
[29:41] But it was very strange because I was afraid last time.
[29:44] And if you were to ask me between the first and the second time, "Hey, Paul, would you feel
[29:50] comfortable going up that ladder again?" I would have said, "Hell no.
[29:52] That scared the crap out of me.
[29:54] I'm not going to do it again," or, "I don't want to do it again." Yet I did it.
[29:59] And now, actually, it's been a while, but now I would have no — I don't think I would have —
[30:05] I would have 99% no problem going up that ladder because I realize it's all psychological.
[30:13] A lot of our fears are, most of them.
[30:16] And if we can just beat that psychology, expose ourselves to what we fear happening, that can
[30:24] help us get through it.
[30:25] I'm not saying it's going to work for everyone.
[30:27] I'm not going to say it's going to work for you, but it sure is hell worth a try. It's sure worth trying.
[30:32] Just like me exaggerating my inflections at the beginning of doing this show so that they eventually became natural.
[30:41] I feel more natural and very authentic, very genuine doing what I do today because I exposed
[30:49] myself to something I was very uncomfortable doing, I had anxiety about, and I just faced that
[30:57] fear and did it anyway.
[31:02] So I'm going to kind of wrap this up because I think I addressed this person's question.
[31:08] I believe strongly in the power of expressing emotions.
[31:10] Is there a way to learn this stuff in a way that you would recommend?
[31:13] Yes, I recommend everything I talked about.
[31:15] Do you have a program that teaches the process?
[31:17] Yes, the Overwhelmed Brain is a program, but I don't have a specific course that does.
[31:22] However, I will say I do have relationship material that will be helpful because when you're
[31:33] in a relationship, you are in front of a mirror, a mirror of your soul, of your emotions, of your behaviors.
[31:43] And what that means is what you get back from your partner or from your family member or from
[31:50] a friend is kind of a reflection of what you're giving out.
[31:55] So that can be helpful.
[31:56] It's very helpful when you're in a relationship because you get that reflection back, and you
[32:02] can tell what's not being conveyed very well, what's not being interpreted very well, and that
[32:08] maybe you need to adjust something.
[32:09] So it is nice to have that reflection in your life.
[32:13] And they said, "I'm assuming the better option is a more holistic route instead of conventional
[32:19] therapy." I'm not saying conventional therapy won't work. A holistic route.
[32:25] I would interpret a holistic route as doing as much as you can in your life.
[32:31] One thing I learned is that working from home, not getting out much, is less exposure to the challenges of life.
[32:41] So there's a caveat to working from home is that I could easily be comfortable being more alone more often.
[32:53] My wife, she's an extrovert. Doesn't work for her. Drives her crazy.
[32:57] But for an introvert, working from home, not getting out much, doing things here and there, big deal.
[33:04] It's restrictive in many ways.
[33:08] If I am not in crowds a lot, then I'm not going to face any trepidation, anxiety that I might have around people.
[33:18] Luckily, I'm kind of both an introvert and an extrovert, so I can adjust pretty much anywhere.
[33:25] And I've exposed myself enough to very challenging situations that I can get through most things.
[33:33] But another good example is some music.
[33:37] We were at a park the other day, and there was music, and I didn't really want to get up and dance.
[33:44] And I said, "Well," because I don't feel like I'm a good solo freestyle dancer.
[33:50] I don't know what to do with my arms.
[33:52] I can move my legs back and forth.
[33:54] Don't know what to do with my arms.
[33:55] But I said, "You know what? The music's playing. My wife is here.
[33:58] I'm going to get up, and we're going to dance." I thought she was going to be like, "Boom, okay.
[34:02] I would love to dance." But she said, "No, I have two left feet.
[34:04] I don't want to dance," which surprised me because I thought she loved to dance.
[34:07] But I got her up, and we danced.
[34:10] And now I am like 0.001% more comfortable getting up and dancing.
[34:17] So that is part of the exposure.
[34:20] And so, yes, the holistic approach this person's asking about is just doing more.
[34:25] And when it comes to expressing emotions, expressing more. It might mean exaggerating.
[34:30] It might mean accessing how you feel in the moment. "Hey, everyone, I just want to let you know
[34:35] I feel a little bit sad today." I wouldn't do that in front of a crowd, but I would do that
[34:39] with your friend. "I just want to let you know I'm feeling a little sad today." And your friend's
[34:43] going to say, "Oh, what's going on?" "I don't know.
[34:46] I just want to let you know. It's no big deal.
[34:48] I think I'm going to feel better later." Sometimes just expressing it, just saying it, can help
[34:54] you feel better, can help release the pent-up, the pressure.
[34:59] It can help you vent it out, just expressing.
[35:03] And the more you do that, the less pressure that builds up inside of you that you're not carrying around. So there is that.
[35:10] And I guess that's it.
[35:13] That's all I have for commentary on this.
[35:15] And I was planning on talking about, or at least reading another message, but where are we? 40 minutes in. Time to go.
[35:26] This is what happens when you aren't really prepared.
[35:29] So this is a good lesson for us all.
[35:33] I'm going to end the show by saying thank you for listening to another episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.
[35:38] I want to thank our patrons this week, Ashley and Brad, and thank you to anyone that gives to the show.
[35:44] I am so grateful for you.
[35:46] If you value the show like these patrons do, I want to let you know there's a way to give back.
[35:51] You can head over to moreTOB.com, and there are ways to give back over there.
[35:56] And for a show on how to navigate a difficult relationship, listen to my other podcast called
[36:01] Love and Abuse over at LoveandAbuse.com.
[36:04] And if you know you're the difficult one in the relationship, you can join the program that
[36:08] is helping a lot of people heal over at HealedBeing.com.
[36:12] And with that, and this I should know by heart by now, always keep your mind open because that's
[36:18] how you make the best decisions.
[36:20] Be firm in your decisions and actions so that you can create the life you want.
[36:25] Always take steps to grow and evolve.
[36:28] You are powerful beyond measure.
[36:31] And above all, and this is something I absolutely know to be true about you, you are amazing.

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.