# The Tifo Football Podcast_s Favourite Moments(M4A_128K)

An episode of [Footbal Beyond the Pitch](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/6821032841), 19 Oct 2026, 9:15.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75855194/the_tifo_football_podcast_s_favourite_moments_m4a_128k.mp3

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beyond-the-pitch--7446870/support.

## Transcript

[0:03] Speaker 1: I love butter. You know that I once wrote a
[0:06] Speaker 1: short film about Brad Friedel. Tell me the premise. It
[0:09] Speaker 1: was called Friedel and Me. This is true. Sexual urges.
[0:16] Speaker 2: I'm going to the mall on my skateboard. You can't
[0:21] Speaker 2: stop me.
[0:21] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[0:22] Speaker 2: Are they Glasgow Hanks very much? They're coming down.
[0:26] Speaker 1: Heath is the name for a guy with brown hair,
[0:28] Speaker 1: pretty eyes, sometimes wears glasses, gorgeous smile, and has a
[0:31] Speaker 1: very nice penis with excellent sexual powers.
[0:35] Speaker 2: I think I have a very nice penis.
[0:36] Speaker 1: Yeah. Hey.
[0:37] Speaker 2: Hey.
[0:38] Speaker 1: Hey. Hey.
[0:46] Speaker 2: Well, he is doing things you ought not to do
[0:48] Speaker 2: as the manager of a team in England.
[0:49] Speaker 1: I agree.
[0:50] Speaker 2: You should very much wear your suit and stay quiet.
[0:52] Speaker 1: I sort of feel like you've got a lot more
[0:54] Speaker 1: authority when you speak with that voice.
[0:56] Speaker 2: Well, this is actually my real voice, Joe. The whole
[0:58] Speaker 2: time in the Scottish thing has been a privado.
[1:01] Speaker 1: A privado. Yes. Very nice.
[1:03] Speaker 2: That's the word we use in England. You're actually quite ambidextrous,
[1:07] Speaker 2: aren't you?
[1:08] Speaker 1: Only when I... No. I think they did.
[1:14] Speaker 3: Maybe they did.
[1:15] Speaker 1: Did they? I actually wasn't listening to you just for
[1:17] Speaker 1: that last one second I was reading the next bit.
[1:19] Speaker 2: I'm sure the audience probably weren't listening either.
[1:21] Speaker 1: Were you listening.
[1:23] Speaker 4: You're in a room I was looking for the next
[1:25] Speaker 4: bit as well do you think the audience were listening
[1:28] Speaker 4: will the producer come in for us here Steve do
[1:29] Speaker 4: you know were you listening Steve No. Oh, man.
[1:32] Speaker 1: Literally no one was listening to you.
[1:34] Speaker 2: I got the full house.
[1:35] Speaker 1: That's the full house. I managed to bore everyone.
[1:38] Speaker 2: Tax investigations.
[1:40] Speaker 3: Exactly.
[1:40] Speaker 2: The writing's on the wall.
[1:41] Speaker 1: The writing is on the wall for the tax investigations.
[1:44] Speaker 1: To the Bali. Listen, when I found you on Twitter,
[1:47] Speaker 1: you were just a little sand crab.
[1:49] Speaker 2: Yeah, going.
[1:51] Speaker 1: And now look what I've made you, yeah? I've made
[1:53] Speaker 1: you a hero. A hero of the people of the goblins.
[1:57] Speaker 2: And the crabs.
[1:59] Speaker 1: And we're joined by a special guest today, aren't we?
[2:01] Speaker 2: A little baby.
[2:06] Speaker 1: Keep going. A tiny cherub. Little baby boy. But for now,
[2:10] Speaker 1: I will leave you in the warm hands and the
[2:12] Speaker 1: cool embrace of the little baby cherub. The tiny baby.
[2:18] Speaker 2: Small little baby.
[2:19] Speaker 1: It's Ruben Pember. Put it in your mouth. I like it.
[2:23] Speaker 2: Saucy. I don't know why I said that either. I'm
[2:26] Speaker 2: having a weird day.
[2:27] Speaker 1: When it comes to eagles, you are such a dick.
[2:31] Speaker 2: Seagulls can eat up to 20% of its body weight in.
[2:36] Speaker 1: Food each day. You don't matter to us at all.
[2:38] Speaker 1: We don't think about you ever or care about you.
[2:42] Speaker 2: Maybe there is hope in my life.
[2:43] Speaker 1: But they're afraid.
[2:43] Speaker 2: My life could be something else.
[2:45] Speaker 1: I could achieve something. I'm hopeful that maybe Arsenal could
[2:50] Speaker 1: do the Winder's League. Shush up, Steve Hankey. Get back
[2:53] Speaker 1: in your cave. We've assessed Steve Hankey's injuries. He'll never
[2:57] Speaker 1: make love again. He's a rat. And I'm delighted to
[3:05] Speaker 1: be joined by Seb Halford's floor. We'll be back tomorrow
[3:10] Speaker 1: with John McKenzie, the Goblins hero.
[3:18] Speaker 2: The Goblin's Hero.
[3:20] Speaker 1: You had a big day of football to be joined by...
[3:21] Speaker 1: The Goblin's Hero. It's John McKenzie.
[3:27] Speaker 4: Hey, John.
[3:29] Speaker 1: What possible motivation could that be for saying Mason Mount
[3:33] Speaker 1: is good? It's so stupid. It's so stupid.
[3:39] Speaker 2: Just calm down. For f * * *' s sake.
[3:43] Speaker 1: Guys, we're halftime. It's the halftime break.
[3:47] Speaker 2: And this is you.
[3:49] Speaker 1: It's me, Joe Devine. 1-1 here at halftime.
[3:54] Speaker 3: Now, if you want to see your family again, you
[4:00] Speaker 3: better win the game. Because if you don't win the game,
[4:04] Speaker 3: You ain't never going to see your family again.
[4:07] Speaker 1: Your accent has changed incredibly. I went to Alabama. You
[4:11] Speaker 1: ain't never going to see your family. Your family. Your
[4:14] Speaker 1: family who are from a very notorious part of the country.
[4:20] Speaker 4: Your family will never be seen. Not by here, no hair,
[4:23] Speaker 4: no hair. Never by you, no him, no me ever again.
[4:28] Speaker 4: Because they will be dead, sir.
[4:30] Speaker 3: Right.
[4:33] Speaker 2: I feel like the team's overloading us on the wings.
[4:38] Speaker 1: Get up in half. Young man, I don't know what
[4:42] Speaker 1: you're saying when you're talking that way.
[4:44] Speaker 2: The teams are coming down on the wings and we
[4:49] Speaker 2: can't beat them.
[4:50] Speaker 1: How are we going to change it? Is this what
[4:52] Speaker 1: I sound like to you? I genuinely feel like I'm
[4:58] Speaker 1: in a terrible dream hey will you cheer me up
[5:01] Speaker 1: by doing your Wayne Rooney thing again Rooney oh isn't
[5:05] Speaker 1: that nice Rooney oh it's always good that I love
[5:07] Speaker 1: that and once more well it's better when it comes
[5:10] Speaker 1: in the middle of a sentence we don't expect it
[5:11] Speaker 1: okay so at some point Rooney at some point before
[5:15] Speaker 1: the end of this podcast you'll surprise us with.
[5:18] Speaker 2: A Rooney I had to keep going long and then
[5:19] Speaker 2: Cram Arch couldn't hold it up so they were just
[5:21] Speaker 2: kept numb so it was very much a nil nil
[5:23] Speaker 2: Rooney Rooney.
[5:27] Speaker 1: We did have to fire him for reasons I won't
[5:30] Speaker 1: go into. Just don't tell them why. I won't say why.
[5:33] Speaker 1: We're all under restraint. I won't say why, but he
[5:37] Speaker 1: has been fired from his job. And actually, his family
[5:41] Speaker 1: have excommunicated him as well. So that happened as well.
[5:44] Speaker 1: But you can't get everything you want in life. Yeah,
[5:47] Speaker 1: football's great, isn't it? How have you never seen the
[5:50] Speaker 1: inside of an employment tribunal? Thank you for that question.
[5:54] Speaker 1: Do you know what Croatia are? They're a sea horse.
[5:56] Speaker 2: Because of sea.
[5:57] Speaker 1: Croatia. Sea horse.
[6:08] Speaker 2: Ashley Barnes he's worked very hard to get to where
[6:11] Speaker 2: he is now we put the things in place to
[6:12] Speaker 2: make sure that the players can reach the potential then
[6:16] Speaker 2: it's up to the player to get there.
[6:19] Speaker 1: I reckon his mum really likes it and his friends
[6:23] Speaker 1: and Sean Dyche We're not going to eat all of
[6:26] Speaker 1: these apples.
[6:27] Speaker 2: Some of them are going to go off.
[6:28] Speaker 4: And I feel as though that's what Todd Bowley's done.
[6:30] Speaker 1: He's bought.
[6:30] Speaker 2: Who cares.
[6:31] Speaker 1: About the values of Mrs. Mackenzie Donaghy? She's a fan
[6:34] Speaker 1: of the Granny Smith. Ah, guten tag, Herr Staffan Bloor.
[6:37] Speaker 2: Guten nachmittag, Herr Devine.
[6:39] Speaker 1: V Gates? Yes, V Gates. Ah, sehr gut. As part
[6:42] Speaker 1: of my mandate, it's about bringing down.
[6:45] Speaker 2: As part of my mandate.
[6:45] Speaker 1: Oh, I see.
[6:46] Speaker 2: Down the Bundesliga.
[6:47] Speaker 1: I thought it was the Scottish football. Yeah, it's both. Ruben,
[6:50] Speaker 1: the baby boy pinder, hello.
[6:52] Speaker 3: Go, go, go, go.
[6:54] Speaker 1: It generally strikes me as odd that you, and of
[6:56] Speaker 1: course this again is addressed to our editor, that you
[6:58] Speaker 1: would continue to employ someone who seems intent on dragging
[7:05] Speaker 1: down Scottish football rather than talking it up when given
[7:09] Speaker 1: the opportunity to do so, as is your duty. And
[7:12] Speaker 1: I'm now joined by Alex Stewart.
[7:15] Speaker 4: Hi Joe.
[7:15] Speaker 1: How are you? Fine, thank you. Well done. Have a
[7:18] Speaker 1: nice day? Yeah. I'm excited about The Athletic, aren't you? Yeah, constantly.
[7:25] Speaker 1: And if you want to learn things such as why
[7:27] Speaker 1: you can't kill and eat your pets, or how to
[7:31] Speaker 1: pronounce words properly, get The Athletic. Get The Athletic at theathletic.com
[7:40] Speaker 1: forward slash TIFO, theathletic.com forward slash TIFO for comprehensive lists
[7:45] Speaker 1: of which pets you can kill and eat.
[7:49] Speaker 2: You couldn't keep a salmon in your bath.
[7:52] Speaker 1: Where's me shoes? Leather, leather, leather shoes. In the relegation places,
[7:59] Speaker 1: MK Jones went from the finishing one point off automatic
[8:02] Speaker 1: promotion last season to the relegation this season. What about that, Cammy?
[8:06] Speaker 1: The Tifo Football Podcast, in its current form, makeup, style, design,
[8:14] Speaker 1: is dead. Now, you may be sad, but Because everything dies, okay?
[8:22] Speaker 1: Everything and everyone dies. You will die. In one of
[8:26] Speaker 1: those games where you watch it, you sit at home
[8:28] Speaker 1: and you start by thinking, wow, I wish I was dead.
[8:31] Speaker 1: And then you start thinking, if I was dead though,
[8:34] Speaker 1: what would that be like? And then you contemplate life
[8:37] Speaker 1: and you think about the meaninglessness and how you don't
[8:39] Speaker 1: have any purpose and.
[8:41] Speaker 2: You got married last year, didn't you?
[8:42] Speaker 1: Yeah. I love my wife. you

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.