# Reinventing Yourself at 50-ish

An episode of [Best Life Pending with Steph De Sousa & Chrissy Hearn](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/6806116018), 20 Sep 2026, 28 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/8a91b3ea-7269-45c7-af4a-b4b4000720d1/5bb71d07-eaf7-4683-ad7f-b4c800872774/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=e767cf02-fafa-4c28-b85a-b4b400072512

Is it ever too late to blow things up and start again? Chrissy and Steph talk career changes, confidence, relationships, finding your worth and the small ways you can reinvent yourself without changing your entire life. Plus, why women over 50 might just be the most overlooked generation out there, and the simple challenge to take one step towards the version of yourself you actually want to be. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:05] Speaker 1: A PodJay production. And action. I'm Chrissy Hearn.
[0:14] Speaker 2: And I am Steph D'Souza. And our podcast is Best
[0:18] Speaker 2: Life Fending. Do you want to be my wingwoman?
[0:23] Speaker 1: Be nice to yourself.
[0:24] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[0:25] Speaker 1: Don't think so hard on yourself.
[0:26] Speaker 2: Yeah. Action. Action.
[0:28] Speaker 1: Go. Can I just take a momento, please, to paint
[0:31] Speaker 1: the picture for the peoples at the homes. Yeah. You've
[0:34] Speaker 1: taken your shoes off.
[0:35] Speaker 2: Yeah, I've gotten relaxed.
[0:36] Speaker 1: And your dress, which is beautiful, actually matches your toenails.
[0:40] Speaker 2: And I didn't even plan.
[0:41] Speaker 1: That is exquisite.
[0:42] Speaker 2: Not planned at all.
[0:43] Speaker 1: I love that.
[0:44] Speaker 2: Just the way it worked out.
[0:45] Speaker 1: I love it.
[0:46] Speaker 2: Welcome to Episode 3, Chrissie.
[0:47] Speaker 1: Thank you. Thanks for having us.
[0:51] Speaker 2: Today we are talking about... reinventing yourself.
[0:54] Speaker 1: Wow.
[0:55] Speaker 2: At 50-ish.
[0:56] Speaker 1: Ish.
[0:57] Speaker 2: Ish.
[0:57] Speaker 1: 50-ish. Okay.
[0:59] Speaker 2: Okay. So.
[1:00] Speaker 1: Talk to me about it.
[1:02] Speaker 2: I was 46 when I decided to draw a line
[1:04] Speaker 2: in the sand or jump off the cliff or reinvent
[1:07] Speaker 2: myself or whatever you would like to say. How old
[1:09] Speaker 2: were you?
[1:09] Speaker 1: I do it all the time.
[1:11] Speaker 2: Do you?
[1:12] Speaker 1: I do it regularly, I think.
[1:13] Speaker 2: Constantly reinventing yourself.
[1:15] Speaker 1: Constantly. From clothes to ideas. I just keep moving along.
[1:19] Speaker 1: I get bored.
[1:20] Speaker 2: But you did recently did a really big one.
[1:23] Speaker 1: Yes, I did.
[1:24] Speaker 2: What did you do?
[1:25] Speaker 1: I left work. I'm now self-employed. Yes, that was huge.
[1:29] Speaker 1: That was a big leap.
[1:30] Speaker 2: I think that is probably one of the biggest, one
[1:33] Speaker 2: of the hardest things to do.
[1:35] Speaker 1: Oh, I agree.
[1:35] Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, that was really difficult. But I think
[1:38] Speaker 2: it is because you are actually throwing away that security barrier.
[1:43] Speaker 1: That fortnightly pay that you know exactly how much money
[1:46] Speaker 1: you're getting every fortnight. Yes.
[1:49] Speaker 2: It's secure. But also you are knowing where you fit
[1:53] Speaker 2: in the world. You know how much is going to
[1:55] Speaker 2: get into your bank account at the end of the week.
[1:57] Speaker 2: You know what to wear every day. You know the
[2:00] Speaker 2: people that you're going to meet along the way. Your
[2:03] Speaker 2: life is very predictable when you're in that environment. Yes.
[2:06] Speaker 1: Because you're in the slog. You're in the nine to
[2:08] Speaker 1: five slog. You get up, you get dressed, you go
[2:11] Speaker 1: to work.
[2:11] Speaker 2: You come home. Yeah, you know exactly what's going to happen.
[2:13] Speaker 1: Exactly.
[2:13] Speaker 2: It's very predictable. And when you jump off that cliff,
[2:17] Speaker 2: your life is no longer that. And you have to
[2:19] Speaker 2: be self-motivated to actually have a reason for getting up
[2:24] Speaker 2: each day.
[2:25] Speaker 1: And isn't that funny? I've never thought about that. I
[2:28] Speaker 1: don't think I'm motivated. I just think I'm excited and
[2:31] Speaker 1: wanting to get out there and see what I can
[2:33] Speaker 1: make of this.
[2:34] Speaker 2: But that's motivation.
[2:35] Speaker 1: Yeah, I hadn't even thought of it like that. But
[2:37] Speaker 1: it is, isn't it?
[2:38] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[2:38] Speaker 1: No, I'm definitely motivated then to do that.
[2:41] Speaker 2: Yeah. We've both done... massive reinventions. Honestly, I don't recommend
[2:46] Speaker 2: it for everybody to do the extreme that we have done.
[2:49] Speaker 2: And I don't know about you, but I didn't do
[2:52] Speaker 2: it overnight. No, not at all. It was a gradual
[2:55] Speaker 2: process for me. But I think there are little inventions,
[2:59] Speaker 2: reinventions you can make of yourself every day. Or you
[3:04] Speaker 2: can make a decision to reinvent part of your life. Okay,
[3:09] Speaker 2: I'm going to take it back to food because that's
[3:10] Speaker 2: what I did. You can have a reinvention of what
[3:14] Speaker 2: you eat. So you can actually go, right, you know what?
[3:17] Speaker 2: I'm not going to have that same 10 meals every
[3:20] Speaker 2: fortnight for dinner. I'm going to slowly reinvent my menu.
[3:25] Speaker 2: And that's a little way of putting a little spark
[3:28] Speaker 2: back in your life. You can start getting your nails
[3:31] Speaker 2: done and have a different color on your nails every fortnight.
[3:34] Speaker 2: That's another little reinvention. I think those little things are
[3:38] Speaker 2: things that you can do to start to change your
[3:42] Speaker 2: life and to start to take a little bit.
[3:43] Speaker 1: Of you back. Also think it's really good to sit
[3:47] Speaker 1: down and think about what you want.
[3:49] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[3:50] Speaker 1: You know, we all say, oh, reinvention, we can do this,
[3:53] Speaker 1: you can do that. But without a plan or an idea,
[3:57] Speaker 1: it's just a dream, isn't it?
[3:58] Speaker 2: Yeah. We have a saying in our house, do you
[4:00] Speaker 2: even have a ple? And it's from friends. Phoebe didn't
[4:04] Speaker 2: have a plan. She had a ple. So do you
[4:06] Speaker 2: have a ple or do you have a plan? So
[4:09] Speaker 2: a pleur is like pie in the sky. One day
[4:13] Speaker 2: I would like to own a private jet. But do
[4:17] Speaker 2: you have a plan?
[4:18] Speaker 1: To do that. That's a pleur.
[4:19] Speaker 2: But do you have a plan to get to that point?
[4:22] Speaker 2: And I think that's what you mean by you actually
[4:26] Speaker 2: have to know what it is that you want in
[4:28] Speaker 2: order to plan that or it is just a pleur.
[4:30] Speaker 1: I agree. And I think sometimes as women we don't
[4:33] Speaker 1: tend to focus on the plan. It's more of the pleur.
[4:37] Speaker 1: If things were different.
[4:38] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[4:39] Speaker 1: If this was different.
[4:40] Speaker 2: And you just let life happen to you. Because that's
[4:43] Speaker 2: what I used to do. I just used to let
[4:44] Speaker 2: life happen to me. I look at my career. My
[4:48] Speaker 2: career up until what I'm doing now just happened to me.
[4:52] Speaker 2: And because I'm a hard worker and because I throw
[4:56] Speaker 2: everything into what I do, I've actually been quite successful
[4:58] Speaker 2: in quite a lot of different areas of my life
[5:01] Speaker 2: and had good careers in But they just happened to me,
[5:04] Speaker 2: whereas this one I actually made a conscious decision to do.
[5:09] Speaker 2: And interestingly, this is the most successful I've ever been. Wow. Yeah,
[5:13] Speaker 2: but that's because I made it happen.
[5:16] Speaker 1: So when you say you made it happen, did you
[5:18] Speaker 1: sit down and you made a list of things that
[5:21] Speaker 1: you wanted to change? Did you write down goals of
[5:24] Speaker 1: how you wanted to get there?
[5:26] Speaker 2: Yeah, I did.
[5:26] Speaker 1: What you wanted to earn?
[5:27] Speaker 2: I had a vision board.
[5:29] Speaker 1: See?
[5:29] Speaker 2: Old school.
[5:30] Speaker 1: They're so good, the vision boards. Old school vision board.
[5:32] Speaker 2: And I can tell you, vision boards for me were
[5:35] Speaker 2: life changing.
[5:36] Speaker 1: And what did you have on that vision board?
[5:38] Speaker 2: I had MasterChef on the vision board.
[5:40] Speaker 1: Really?
[5:40] Speaker 2: Yeah. I had me as the winner, which didn't happen,
[5:43] Speaker 2: but that's okay.
[5:44] Speaker 1: But you are the winner though.
[5:45] Speaker 2: No, I feel like I'm 100% the winner. I had
[5:48] Speaker 2: pictures of me with, not with my husband now, but
[5:52] Speaker 2: with a partner who was like quite similar to the
[5:56] Speaker 2: vision that I had on that vision board. I had
[5:59] Speaker 2: a beautiful home on that vision board, which I have now.
[6:03] Speaker 2: Different destinations on that vision board. And I think I've,
[6:06] Speaker 2: apart from Europe, I've probably done a lot of those
[6:09] Speaker 2: now as far as travel is concerned. Yeah, lots of things.
[6:13] Speaker 2: Happy children on my vision board. Yeah, lots of different
[6:17] Speaker 2: things along the way. I had myself as, I had
[6:20] Speaker 2: Nigella Lawson on my vision board. And I don't know
[6:24] Speaker 2: what that was. At the time, I didn't know what
[6:27] Speaker 2: it was. It was just somebody that I admired. But
[6:29] Speaker 2: now I look back and I look at what was Nigella.
[6:31] Speaker 2: Nigella was home cook. She was an author. Tick. Home cook. Tick.
[6:38] Speaker 2: Had her own TV show. Tick. Bit of a media personality,
[6:42] Speaker 2: you know, which I think I'm doing that now in mainstream.
[6:45] Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. Do you think yourself more as a brand
[6:48] Speaker 1: or a personality?
[6:50] Speaker 2: Oh, that's a very.
[6:52] Speaker 1: I see you as a personality. Do you? It's interesting,
[6:55] Speaker 1: isn't it?
[6:55] Speaker 2: I don't know. Here I go. Here's my little things.
[6:58] Speaker 2: I wouldn't say personality out loud because I feel like
[7:02] Speaker 2: that's just a little bit up myself.
[7:04] Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, of course.
[7:05] Speaker 2: So I feel like I have to say brand. But
[7:08] Speaker 2: I shouldn't feel like that. It should be okay that
[7:11] Speaker 2: I say personality because I've worked really hard to get
[7:13] Speaker 2: to where I am.
[7:14] Speaker 1: And I've done a lot of.
[7:15] Speaker 2: Hours and worked for free in order to say that
[7:18] Speaker 2: I am.
[7:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been.
[7:20] Speaker 2: Yeah, I've worked really hard to do that. And I've
[7:21] Speaker 2: worked really hard to try and become more mainstream, which
[7:24] Speaker 2: it's really difficult to become mainstream from content creator to
[7:28] Speaker 2: mainstream media. That's a very big jump.
[7:30] Speaker 1: So you just mentioned that you did a lot for free.
[7:33] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[7:34] Speaker 1: So what type of things did you do for free?
[7:36] Speaker 2: I don't know if people realize, but every single time
[7:39] Speaker 2: pretty much that you appear on a TV show or
[7:42] Speaker 2: a podcast that's somebody else's, you don't get paid for that.
[7:48] Speaker 2: So the morning show, Sunrise, I've done appearances on The
[7:54] Speaker 2: Cook Up, Justine Schofield's show, all of those kinds of things,
[7:59] Speaker 2: all the podcasts I've ever been on. I've never been
[8:01] Speaker 2: paid for anything. Magazine articles, newspaper articles. other people's content,
[8:08] Speaker 2: you don't get paid for that. That's PR. But that
[8:12] Speaker 2: actually is.
[8:12] Speaker 1: Has led to so much, I reckon.
[8:14] Speaker 2: It has led to so much, but it's also really
[8:16] Speaker 2: time consuming.
[8:16] Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely.
[8:17] Speaker 2: Like whenever I release a book, I release books in April,
[8:22] Speaker 2: so the first day of April generally, that month is
[8:25] Speaker 2: a write-off. I can do nothing else in that month.
[8:28] Speaker 2: And every single thing in that month that I do
[8:30] Speaker 2: is unpaid. I mean, I'm getting the throwback in that
[8:34] Speaker 2: I've got my book, but everything... to do with PR.
[8:38] Speaker 1: So book signings.
[8:40] Speaker 2: Yeah, book signings, TV appearances, magazine articles. And they all
[8:45] Speaker 2: take time because you have to have the interview. A
[8:47] Speaker 2: lot of the time for magazines and newspapers these days,
[8:50] Speaker 2: they just send you a list of questions and you
[8:53] Speaker 2: are just writing the answers yourself. So it takes a
[8:56] Speaker 2: good couple of hours to do that because you have
[8:58] Speaker 2: to really make sure that it's right and it's written
[9:02] Speaker 2: properly and all the rest of it. All the content
[9:04] Speaker 2: that you create to promote that thing That's all for free.
[9:08] Speaker 2: So yeah, I've done a lot of that over the
[9:10] Speaker 2: last five years.
[9:11] Speaker 1: So when you then started to kind of progress into
[9:14] Speaker 1: getting paid gigs and stuff like that, did you have
[9:17] Speaker 1: management that would come in and set those prices or
[9:20] Speaker 1: did you know your self-worth and know how much you
[9:23] Speaker 1: wanted to charge?
[9:24] Speaker 2: No, that's why I got management. Okay. It was because
[9:26] Speaker 2: I had no clue. So Audi slid into my DMs,
[9:30] Speaker 2: bless their cotton socks.
[9:31] Speaker 1: Oh, we love Audi.
[9:31] Speaker 2: I And that was when I went, ooh, I need
[9:35] Speaker 2: a manager. I had no clue what I was doing.
[9:38] Speaker 2: I had no clue what my worth was. That's when
[9:40] Speaker 2: I reached out to a management company.
[9:42] Speaker 1: And you reached out. They didn't come into your DMs. No. See,
[9:45] Speaker 1: that's where I'm at right now. I'm now thinking, you
[9:49] Speaker 1: know what? If I'm going to do this, I'm going
[9:51] Speaker 1: to do it properly and I want to have some
[9:54] Speaker 1: representation because I don't know what my worth is. I
[10:00] Speaker 1: know I'm worth heaps because I'm fabulous. and wonderful and
[10:04] Speaker 1: all of those things. But I need somebody that has
[10:07] Speaker 1: that experience that could point me in the direction of, look,
[10:11] Speaker 1: I think this brand would be great for you. This
[10:13] Speaker 1: is what we could do here. This is how much
[10:16] Speaker 1: that with your following, your engagement, this is what you're worth.
[10:20] Speaker 1: This is what you should charge.
[10:21] Speaker 2: But that's all part of this Reinventing yourself. Exactly. I
[10:25] Speaker 2: think at our age, it is really difficult to know
[10:29] Speaker 2: what our worth is because I think we've always maybe
[10:31] Speaker 2: been told that we don't have a lot of worth.
[10:35] Speaker 1: Well, because we're not 25 and wearing a... And gorgeous
[10:37] Speaker 1: and glamorous and wearing a bikini. And we are gorgeous
[10:39] Speaker 1: and glamorous. No, we are. However.
[10:41] Speaker 2: We're not skinny. We're not wearing bikinis. We're not socialites. No.
[10:46] Speaker 2: You know, so where do we fit in?
[10:48] Speaker 1: But what really pisses me off, right, what really grinds
[10:52] Speaker 1: my gears and gets on every last nerve is we're
[10:56] Speaker 1: the ones with the money. I know. It's interesting, isn't it?
[11:00] Speaker 1: So we are the ones that have that extra little
[11:03] Speaker 1: bit of money because the kids have left home.
[11:05] Speaker 2: Yep.
[11:05] Speaker 1: We're on a good wicket.
[11:07] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[11:07] Speaker 1: Why are brands, why are companies not saying we need
[11:12] Speaker 1: to be promoting more women over 50 because they're the
[11:16] Speaker 1: ones that have got the bloody money? Yeah, I know.
[11:17] Speaker 2: I think brands are really missing the point with women
[11:21] Speaker 2: in our age group. They're really missing the point. Like
[11:25] Speaker 2: I find it really difficult. I've been on the search
[11:27] Speaker 2: recently for make-up and skin care products and for my
[11:33] Speaker 2: skin that is ageing, right? And it's really hard to find.
[11:38] Speaker 1: And I'll ask you, who is the brand, can you
[11:41] Speaker 1: think of it, that's promoting mature skin with mature women?
[11:47] Speaker 2: I don't think there is.
[11:47] Speaker 1: There isn't one.
[11:48] Speaker 2: There isn't one doing it.
[11:49] Speaker 1: No.
[11:50] Speaker 2: I think L'Oreal does a little bit with Armstrong.
[11:54] Speaker 1: What was her name? Oh, gosh, I can see her
[11:57] Speaker 1: face right now.
[11:58] Speaker 2: She's on the X-Files. I think Jessica Rowe does a
[12:00] Speaker 2: bit with L'Oreal. How gorgeous is she?
[12:03] Speaker 1: Oh, she just is divine. I love her.
[12:05] Speaker 2: I love how outrageous she is. She's fabulous. And that's
[12:08] Speaker 2: another woman in our age bracket that is unapologetically herself.
[12:13] Speaker 2: And I love that about her.
[12:14] Speaker 1: No, I do. I love her. But I want to
[12:16] Speaker 1: see more women. I want to see more women at
[12:19] Speaker 1: our age promoting things. Because I would buy. God, I
[12:23] Speaker 1: would absolutely hit. Take my money. Yeah.
[12:26] Speaker 2: Shut up and take my money.
[12:27] Speaker 1: Shut up and take my money.
[12:29] Speaker 2: Yeah. If you can tell me that that's going to
[12:30] Speaker 2: be good for my aging skin, I'm going to buy
[12:32] Speaker 2: it 100%.
[12:33] Speaker 1: So how have you gone with that now? Like, have
[12:35] Speaker 1: you found something? Because I just refuse to buy from
[12:38] Speaker 1: 20 year olds. I'm sorry. I love them all, but
[12:39] Speaker 1: I just, I just, I can't.
[12:41] Speaker 2: I've gone down the Korean skincare.
[12:44] Speaker 1: Yes. It's gold. We love that.
[12:48] Speaker 2: Love it. You know what I am loving? I can't
[12:50] Speaker 2: even tell you the name of it.
[12:51] Speaker 1: Your skin is looking amazing, let me tell you. My
[12:53] Speaker 1: skin is looking really good. Amazing.
[12:54] Speaker 2: I am loving my skin at the moment. I found
[12:57] Speaker 2: this thing. I think it's an acid peel. Oh. You
[13:00] Speaker 2: use it every couple of days. It's just a tiny bit.
[13:04] Speaker 2: I put it on in the shower. I mean, I
[13:05] Speaker 2: put everything. If you can't put it on in the shower,
[13:06] Speaker 2: I'm not doing it because it makes a mess and
[13:08] Speaker 2: it drips and I don't like that. When you rub
[13:10] Speaker 2: it in, you can actually feel the top layer.
[13:13] Speaker 1: The burn?
[13:13] Speaker 2: Yeah. No, no, not a burn, but you can just,
[13:16] Speaker 2: your skin goes, you feel dead skin coming off.
[13:18] Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. I need the name of that.
[13:20] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll find it out. Thank you. Let you know
[13:22] Speaker 2: what it is. Yeah, I'm loving that.
[13:25] Speaker 1: See, with you just promoting that then, just talking about
[13:28] Speaker 1: the features and the benefits.
[13:29] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[13:30] Speaker 1: I want it. Yeah, exactly. I want it.
[13:32] Speaker 2: Exactly. I told my people on my socials, told my gang,
[13:37] Speaker 2: the CeraVe moisturiser, it comes in a tub like this. Yes.
[13:42] Speaker 2: It's really inexpensive, but oh my God, I am so moisturized.
[13:47] Speaker 1: When I use it.
[13:48] Speaker 2: It's the best thing to put on before I put
[13:50] Speaker 2: my makeup on. My skin is so hydrated that my
[13:53] Speaker 2: makeup doesn't soak into my skin. It just sits on
[13:55] Speaker 2: top of my skin.
[13:56] Speaker 1: Yeah, nice. Yeah.
[13:57] Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Love it. I know. See, done.
[14:00] Speaker 2: There's two products.
[14:01] Speaker 1: Two products.
[14:01] Speaker 2: I can't tell you the name of one of them.
[14:03] Speaker 1: No, you'll have to go back and find that.
[14:05] Speaker 2: I know I have to go and find it, but yeah,
[14:06] Speaker 2: that's where I've gone.
[14:07] Speaker 1: So when did you start thinking, you know what? I
[14:10] Speaker 1: longer going to be doing all these free things. I'm
[14:13] Speaker 1: going to now just start charging.
[14:16] Speaker 2: I think it was when the brand started coming to me.
[14:18] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[14:19] Speaker 2: That was when I stopped doing the free stuff. Every
[14:21] Speaker 2: now and again, someone will pop into my DM and say, hey, Steph,
[14:23] Speaker 2: I really like your content. Can I send you this
[14:27] Speaker 2: product for you to try?
[14:28] Speaker 1: No obligation.
[14:29] Speaker 2: And if I think it's something that I might like,
[14:32] Speaker 2: I'll say yes. But if I get it and I
[14:34] Speaker 2: don't love it, then I'm not.
[14:35] Speaker 1: Exactly. I'm the same. And I.
[14:38] Speaker 2: Really value the brands that pay for a position on
[14:42] Speaker 2: my socials. And I think if I'm giving that away
[14:46] Speaker 2: for free, then that's disrespecting those brands that are paying
[14:50] Speaker 2: for it. So that's why I don't often do, if
[14:53] Speaker 2: I really love something, then I'm going to spruik it.
[14:57] Speaker 1: Yes, I've got you to blame for the cosy ear thing,
[15:01] Speaker 1: the headband. Oh, my God, how good is that? Oh,
[15:04] Speaker 1: my God, it's so good.
[15:05] Speaker 2: Okay, I just have to tell our women about this
[15:07] Speaker 2: in case they haven't seen it. Okay, so for those
[15:10] Speaker 2: of you, and I know there's a lot of you,
[15:13] Speaker 2: that sleep beside a snorer. It's like the problem of
[15:17] Speaker 2: middle-aged women is that we are married to men and
[15:19] Speaker 2: they become snorers. And it's really annoying. So I had this,
[15:24] Speaker 2: it's called a Music Cozy or something like that. It's
[15:27] Speaker 2: a headband. If you go to my socials, you'll find it.
[15:30] Speaker 2: It's on Amazon. And it's a headband and it's Bluetooth
[15:33] Speaker 2: and it's got little speakers over your ears. You can
[15:36] Speaker 2: drown them out with something other than their snoring. So
[15:40] Speaker 2: I always, because I'm a podcast junkie, True Crime in
[15:44] Speaker 2: particular is my band. I go to sleep listening to
[15:46] Speaker 2: some murder in the words of, what's that TV show
[15:50] Speaker 2: that talks about murder? God, I've got no brain, Chrissy.
[15:54] Speaker 1: See, this right here, Wingers, is our Steph. In the
[16:01] Speaker 1: fog brain, trying desperately to think of what she's, and
[16:07] Speaker 1: it'll come to her.
[16:08] Speaker 2: I can't think, I can't think.
[16:10] Speaker 1: At 3 a.m. tomorrow morning and she'll wake me up
[16:12] Speaker 1: and she'll say, mate.
[16:13] Speaker 2: Chrissie, I remember what it was. It's a new show.
[16:16] Speaker 2: They're in a big house.
[16:17] Speaker 1: Okay.
[16:18] Speaker 2: There's people that are murderers and there's traitors.
[16:21] Speaker 1: Traitors, that's it.
[16:23] Speaker 2: Thank you. Traders. Oh, my God. The English guy goes, murder.
[16:27] Speaker 1: You need to be on Traders.
[16:29] Speaker 2: I would love to. You need to be on Traders. Oh,
[16:31] Speaker 2: my God. How good would that be? I would love that.
[16:32] Speaker 1: Let's manifest that. Okay.
[16:34] Speaker 2: Let's manifest to be on Traders. You know what I
[16:36] Speaker 2: would also love to be on, but I was also
[16:37] Speaker 2: hated at the same time? What? I'm a celebrity, get
[16:40] Speaker 2: me out of here. I would hate it, but I
[16:41] Speaker 2: would love it.
[16:42] Speaker 1: Having just done a night with Alone with SBS's launch. Oh,
[16:45] Speaker 1: you did do that, didn't you? That was horrendous. Was it? Oh,
[16:49] Speaker 1: my God, it was so bad. But did you love it? No,
[16:51] Speaker 1: I did not.
[16:51] Speaker 2: Oh, not a second?
[16:52] Speaker 1: Not one second.
[16:53] Speaker 2: Oh, was it really cold?
[16:54] Speaker 1: It was cold.
[16:55] Speaker 2: Was it real?
[16:56] Speaker 1: I was outside.
[16:57] Speaker 2: Were you actually alone on your own?
[16:58] Speaker 1: Alone with Christian.
[16:59] Speaker 2: Oh, were you together?
[17:01] Speaker 1: Together alone.
[17:02] Speaker 2: Like, yeah.
[17:03] Speaker 1: He had to do things for me. He was so good.
[17:05] Speaker 1: He put my tent up, lit my fire. I poured
[17:09] Speaker 1: my glass of bubbles and sat by the fire.
[17:11] Speaker 2: Christian Hull, we're talking about.
[17:13] Speaker 1: Oh, my Christian Hull.
[17:13] Speaker 2: Your Christian Hull. Yes. Just so people don't know who
[17:15] Speaker 2: Christian is. Sorry. Oh, so he poured you a glass
[17:17] Speaker 2: of bubbles?
[17:18] Speaker 1: No, I did that. I was able to do that.
[17:20] Speaker 2: Okay. But he made you fire?
[17:21] Speaker 1: He made my fire. He put my tent up.
[17:23] Speaker 2: Oh, bless him. He's a good man, isn't he?
[17:25] Speaker 1: He's a top guy.
[17:26] Speaker 2: Yeah. So outside of our jobs and what we do,
[17:29] Speaker 2: not everybody can relate to that. That's not a common job.
[17:34] Speaker 2: But there are other parts of my life that I
[17:36] Speaker 2: have reinvented. apart from my career, and one of them
[17:41] Speaker 2: is my wardrobe. Oh. I've reinvented my wardrobe in the
[17:44] Speaker 2: last five years, I would say. Actually, probably even less
[17:47] Speaker 2: than that, maybe the last four years. I have embraced
[17:50] Speaker 2: the color.
[17:51] Speaker 1: Really?
[17:52] Speaker 2: I've always loved color, but I've really embraced it because
[17:56] Speaker 2: it makes me feel good. It's a dopamine hit for me.
[18:00] Speaker 2: It's like dopamine dressing, and I love that. But it's
[18:04] Speaker 2: taken some time. for me to get the confidence to
[18:07] Speaker 2: do that. And I think one of the things that
[18:09] Speaker 2: I did that really helped was I went to one
[18:13] Speaker 2: of those styling sessions at Westfield and other shopping centres.
[18:16] Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
[18:17] Speaker 2: Yeah, I went and did one of those. And honestly,
[18:20] Speaker 2: it was life-changing, life-changing as far as my wardrobe is
[18:23] Speaker 2: concerned because I never really knew what suited me before this.
[18:28] Speaker 2: I would go to the shops. I would see something
[18:30] Speaker 2: and go, oh, that's nice. And I would try it
[18:32] Speaker 2: on and it would look terrible. I would see something
[18:35] Speaker 2: in a colour. And I would try it on and
[18:37] Speaker 2: it would look terrible or it would look good. It
[18:39] Speaker 2: was just kind of like potluck. But now I can
[18:42] Speaker 2: shop online. If it's a brand that I know that
[18:45] Speaker 2: my size is, I can shop online and go, right,
[18:47] Speaker 2: that is going to look terrible on me. That will
[18:50] Speaker 2: suit me. Because I know in my head from this
[18:54] Speaker 2: styling session, she helped me work out what suits me
[18:56] Speaker 2: and what doesn't. Yeah. That was really life-changing for me.
[19:01] Speaker 2: And it didn't cost a lot. I think the kids
[19:02] Speaker 2: bought it for me for a birthday present actually. And
[19:05] Speaker 2: I don't think I even bought that much on the day,
[19:07] Speaker 2: but it was just that.
[19:09] Speaker 1: Little bit of knowledge of what might suit your body. Yeah,
[19:11] Speaker 1: it went such a long way, yeah.
[19:13] Speaker 2: And that empowered me. I felt like I knew what
[19:16] Speaker 2: style suited me. That empowered me to experiment more with
[19:21] Speaker 2: colour and style then. And also she took me to
[19:26] Speaker 2: shops that I would never have walked into.
[19:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.
[19:28] Speaker 2: It's amazing now that I'll go in. I'll go into
[19:30] Speaker 2: nearly any shop now because I know I can go
[19:33] Speaker 2: anywhere and whether it be for young people or for
[19:36] Speaker 2: older people. And I can probably find something in there
[19:39] Speaker 2: that I like because I know what suits me.
[19:41] Speaker 1: What have you done? I've changed jobs a couple of times,
[19:45] Speaker 1: reinvented myself through changing jobs. Yeah.
[19:48] Speaker 2: Complete career change or a job in the same?
[19:51] Speaker 1: Same industry, just different streams. Yeah. I find that I
[19:54] Speaker 1: get bored quite a bit. quickly so I need to
[19:56] Speaker 1: keep my brain active and that means either changing jobs or,
[20:00] Speaker 1: you know, popping a fire under my life and blowing
[20:03] Speaker 1: it up a bit. It's all good. It's all fine.
[20:05] Speaker 2: I used to do that when I was working in
[20:07] Speaker 2: the public service. Probably once a year I would change
[20:11] Speaker 2: my job within my job. Yeah. And that kind of
[20:13] Speaker 2: led me on a career path to where I ended
[20:15] Speaker 2: up being. And that did keep things bearable, I would say.
[20:19] Speaker 2: It wasn't like the means to an end for me,
[20:22] Speaker 2: but it was a way of keeping things interesting and exciting.
[20:25] Speaker 1: Absolutely.
[20:26] Speaker 2: My glasses. Yes. I've reinvented myself with my glasses. Yes.
[20:31] Speaker 2: Instead of them just being a way of seeing and
[20:34] Speaker 2: I kind of would just get little glasses and I
[20:38] Speaker 2: figured they were nice glasses, but now I've like, for
[20:40] Speaker 2: me now... Glasses are an expression.
[20:43] Speaker 1: Absolutely.
[20:44] Speaker 2: Of who I am and they are with you too, right?
[20:46] Speaker 1: And so is my hair. My hair's very important to me.
[20:48] Speaker 2: Yeah, same.
[20:49] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[20:50] Speaker 2: I've reinvented my hair a lot of times. I can't
[20:53] Speaker 2: see myself ever changing my hair now.
[20:55] Speaker 1: No, not me.
[20:55] Speaker 2: Because I'm so happy with what it is and the
[20:58] Speaker 2: colour it is and like I'm settled. Yeah. But I
[21:01] Speaker 2: reinvented that over time. I think those little things, they're
[21:06] Speaker 2: not little. No. But.
[21:08] Speaker 1: The commitments.
[21:10] Speaker 2: Yeah, they are.
[21:11] Speaker 1: Because your hair's a commitment. Yeah, it's a big deal,
[21:13] Speaker 1: isn't it?
[21:13] Speaker 2: But if you can't blow up your whole life, you
[21:17] Speaker 2: can blow up one part of your life and it
[21:19] Speaker 2: could be a part that doesn't really impact anybody else.
[21:23] Speaker 1: No, exactly.
[21:23] Speaker 2: It just impacts you. And maybe that might, even changing
[21:27] Speaker 2: hair might be too big for you, but maybe you
[21:28] Speaker 2: can change your nail colour.
[21:30] Speaker 1: Absolutely.
[21:30] Speaker 2: And maybe that might be something that is enough just
[21:32] Speaker 2: to satisfy just a little flame and it's a little change.
[21:37] Speaker 1: And I think sometimes women become invisible to other people
[21:42] Speaker 1: and to themselves.
[21:43] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think to yourself.
[21:44] Speaker 1: And you need to be able to put yourself back
[21:47] Speaker 1: in front of that mirror and to see yourself as
[21:50] Speaker 1: a valued person that you've got so much to give
[21:53] Speaker 1: and be it your hair, your makeup, your glasses, your clothing,
[21:57] Speaker 1: you've just got to keep showing up for yourself.
[21:59] Speaker 2: And I think sometimes it's not until somebody maybe points
[22:03] Speaker 2: something out to you at the right time. where you're
[22:07] Speaker 2: ready to accept it, where you will go, whoa, hang
[22:10] Speaker 2: on a minute, I've lost myself. I think that's what
[22:12] Speaker 2: happened to me when I left my first husband. I
[22:15] Speaker 2: didn't even realize that I had lost myself. I didn't
[22:18] Speaker 2: realize that relationship I was in was so incredibly toxic.
[22:22] Speaker 2: I had no clue. And like one day I just
[22:25] Speaker 2: woke up and went, holy moly, I'm done. But I
[22:31] Speaker 2: had no idea. Looking back now, I can probably see
[22:34] Speaker 2: for the 12 months before that I was just Having
[22:37] Speaker 2: little awakenings.
[22:39] Speaker 1: So when you had that moment of, oh, wow, look
[22:41] Speaker 1: where I am moment, did you then think to yourself,
[22:44] Speaker 1: how long is it going to take me to get
[22:46] Speaker 1: out of this? And did you put a plan in
[22:48] Speaker 1: place straight away or did you kind of start thinking
[22:52] Speaker 1: about how you're going to exit?
[22:54] Speaker 2: I blew my life up so quick. It wasn't funny. Oh, okay.
[22:57] Speaker 2: But that's me. Once I've made a decision, I'm done.
[23:01] Speaker 2: I'm at action stations. But I think I spent a
[23:04] Speaker 2: lot of time leading up to that.
[23:05] Speaker 1: But then once– The decision was made.
[23:08] Speaker 2: I feel like I do a lot of subconscious thinking.
[23:10] Speaker 1: Yes.
[23:12] Speaker 2: Without me even realising I'm doing it. But then once
[23:14] Speaker 2: it becomes in my conscious, I'm like, whoa, okay, that's it.
[23:20] Speaker 2: I'm done. But I've actually already been thinking about it
[23:23] Speaker 2: and processing it for a long time.
[23:26] Speaker 1: I think we do that as women. I think we
[23:29] Speaker 1: have these little conversations at the back of our brain
[23:32] Speaker 1: that aren't really active as in, you know, loud. It's
[23:36] Speaker 1: just that little... noise, just to say things.
[23:39] Speaker 2: I remember reading something else. I can't even remember where
[23:41] Speaker 2: it was or even if it's factual or whatever, but
[23:43] Speaker 2: it rung true for me. So why a lot of women,
[23:47] Speaker 2: when they leave a relationship, they look like they're not
[23:51] Speaker 2: impacted by it. It's like they jump out of that
[23:53] Speaker 2: and they jump into life. Whereas a lot of men,
[23:56] Speaker 2: it comes as a real shock for them that their
[23:59] Speaker 2: marriage is over. Whereas women are just like, okay, yeah,
[24:02] Speaker 2: we're done and we move on.
[24:04] Speaker 1: But that process has been a long time.
[24:06] Speaker 2: Yeah, that process has been happening for a long time.
[24:08] Speaker 2: Whereas I think for men, again, I don't know. I'm
[24:12] Speaker 2: no psychologist. But for me, I think that maybe that's
[24:15] Speaker 2: not something that men do as much as we do.
[24:18] Speaker 1: And I think sometimes men just put up with stuff.
[24:21] Speaker 1: Like it's, oh, okay, we'll just go through that. Do
[24:23] Speaker 1: we not do that to you, though? I don't think
[24:25] Speaker 1: we do that as much anymore.
[24:27] Speaker 2: No.
[24:28] Speaker 1: I think that little voice is coming more to the
[24:31] Speaker 1: forefront and it's like, no, bugger it. I'm not going
[24:33] Speaker 1: to be living like this.
[24:35] Speaker 2: But is that just because we've turned 50 and we've
[24:38] Speaker 2: gone through that change of life and our hormones have
[24:42] Speaker 2: changed and we're not putting up with things anymore?
[24:44] Speaker 1: I think the mask is off. I think the mask
[24:47] Speaker 1: is off.
[24:47] Speaker 2: But is the younger generation, do they have a mask on?
[24:51] Speaker 2: Because I think they don't. Maybe they'll go through something different.
[24:55] Speaker 1: I think they're a very different generation.
[24:57] Speaker 2: They are so different. I think they're doing what we're
[24:59] Speaker 2: doing now, but they're doing it at 20.
[25:02] Speaker 1: I laugh because my Charlie, my loved one, beautiful boy,
[25:06] Speaker 1: my youngest child, I can't go to work because my
[25:11] Speaker 1: cat is sick. Yeah. My cat's at the vet having
[25:14] Speaker 1: a major operation. Now, if that was me, it would
[25:18] Speaker 1: be I have to go to work. Yeah. That's my commitment.
[25:21] Speaker 1: I work. And I think sometimes a generation is that
[25:25] Speaker 1: they just don't do what they don't want to do.
[25:28] Speaker 2: I know, which is interesting. So what are they going
[25:30] Speaker 2: to do when they get to our age, when we
[25:33] Speaker 2: really don't give a rat?
[25:35] Speaker 1: It's funny, isn't it?
[25:36] Speaker 2: I don't know what that's going to look like for
[25:38] Speaker 2: them because they've already experienced this.
[25:41] Speaker 1: They're a lot tougher, this generation.
[25:44] Speaker 2: I don't agree.
[25:44] Speaker 1: Tougher as in they don't take shit.
[25:48] Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they don't.
[25:50] Speaker 1: If they don't want to do something, they don't do it.
[25:51] Speaker 2: Yes, but then why don't they want to do it?
[25:54] Speaker 2: Is it because they're anxious or they're insecure about it?
[25:59] Speaker 1: Yeah. It's interesting, isn't it? I don't know. Have we
[26:01] Speaker 1: raised them to be more independent, more thinking about circumstances
[26:07] Speaker 1: and not just going with the flow?
[26:08] Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's exactly right. But then I think
[26:11] Speaker 2: maybe sometimes they're not as resilient.
[26:14] Speaker 1: Oh, God, no. No resilience whatsoever.
[26:16] Speaker 2: No. No. But I don't see my kids like that.
[26:18] Speaker 2: My kids are very resilient, but they've had a little
[26:21] Speaker 2: bit of trauma. So, you know, a little bit of
[26:23] Speaker 2: trauma to.
[26:24] Speaker 1: Make you resilient. Sorry, childhood trauma. If you haven't had it,
[26:26] Speaker 1: you don't know what you're missing out on.
[26:29] Speaker 2: Look, I think it has its bonuses.
[26:32] Speaker 1: Absolutely. My kids are strong. Absolutely. No, I don't mind
[26:36] Speaker 1: a little bit. I mean, I'd rather not have it, but,
[26:38] Speaker 1: you know, it's all good.
[26:40] Speaker 2: Precarious trauma, yeah. I've got a challenge. For the wing woman.
[26:44] Speaker 1: Here we go. Are you ready?
[26:45] Speaker 2: Yes. And I'm going to try and do this each
[26:47] Speaker 2: episode from now on.
[26:48] Speaker 1: And I love this idea. I think it's fabulous.
[26:51] Speaker 2: I had this epiphany when I was in the bathroom
[26:53] Speaker 2: just now and I thought this is going to be
[26:55] Speaker 2: a great idea for a wing woman.
[26:56] Speaker 1: I agree.
[26:56] Speaker 2: I'm going to give you a challenge, wing women. So
[26:59] Speaker 2: my challenge to you is I want you to reinvent
[27:04] Speaker 2: something of yourself. Take the first step, right? Yep. So
[27:09] Speaker 2: if you want to reinvent your wardrobe, Make one step
[27:14] Speaker 2: towards doing that.
[27:15] Speaker 1: Make a plur.
[27:16] Speaker 2: Just a plur. Not a plan.
[27:17] Speaker 1: Just a plur.
[27:18] Speaker 2: Take one step towards doing that. So maybe it's make
[27:21] Speaker 2: an appointment with a stylist. Maybe it's make a mood board.
[27:24] Speaker 2: Maybe it's like follow someone new on Instagram that inspires
[27:28] Speaker 2: your wardrobe, something like that. If it's you want to
[27:31] Speaker 2: reinvent your glasses, do that.
[27:33] Speaker 1: If you want to.
[27:33] Speaker 2: Blow your marriage up, go for it. If you've had enough,
[27:37] Speaker 2: make one step towards doing that. Get your plan in place.
[27:40] Speaker 2: Towards making those changes. Yeah, take one step towards that,
[27:43] Speaker 2: whether it's like giggling divorce lawyers. If that's what you
[27:46] Speaker 2: think you need to do, do that. If you want
[27:48] Speaker 2: to become a content creator, start a page. Don't even
[27:51] Speaker 2: make a video if you don't have to, if you
[27:53] Speaker 2: don't want to. But just find a name. What are
[27:55] Speaker 2: you going to call yourself? Just do one step towards
[27:58] Speaker 2: the thing that you want to invite yourself. That's your
[28:01] Speaker 2: challenge for this week.
[28:02] Speaker 1: I love it.
[28:03] Speaker 2: Are you going to do something?
[28:04] Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. Don't know quite what it is. I've got
[28:07] Speaker 1: a lot on my plate at the moment.
[28:08] Speaker 2: Do you?
[28:08] Speaker 1: Yes. Okay.
[28:09] Speaker 2: All right. Next week, menopause, memory, and where did we
[28:14] Speaker 2: put our glasses?
[28:15] Speaker 1: Let's hope we do actually remember what we're talking about.
[28:18] Speaker 1: You might need to get your iPhone out just to
[28:20] Speaker 1: remind us again.
[28:21] Speaker 2: I have a list. It's all good.
[28:22] Speaker 1: We all love a list.
[28:23] Speaker 2: See you next week.
[28:24] Speaker 1: I can't wait.

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