# 5.) So I'm Good Enough to Help..But Not Enough to Have a Say?

An episode of [Love, Darlene: Stepmom Life & Blended Families](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/6802500786), 14 Sep 2026, 29 min.

Audio: https://api.riverside.com/hosting-analytics/media/bb2fb49bc2e557ca90ae1eb2ed104ca840fcb3bf4d6299fc086e9864b856e5dd/eyJlcGlzb2RlSWQiOiI2NjU0MGRjYy03NzczLTRhZTAtYjA1ZS1mZWQwZDQ0ZjYwNzkiLCJwb2RjYXN0SWQiOiJiZjFlY2JiNS0zNDFmLTRhNGQtOWZhNy0zMGEzMjc4NmEyZDkiLCJhY2NvdW50SWQiOiI2YTc3NmExYzllNjAxZDY2OTQzOTY2NTMiLCJwYXRoIjoibWVkaWEvY2xpcHMvNmFhN2I0NWIyMTBmNTA2NjAwMDQxMWMyL2RhcmxlbmUtc3Bhcmtzcy1zdHVkaW8tMjAyNi05LTE0X184LTQ2LTIyLm1wMyJ9.mp3

In this episode, we're talking about one of the biggest contradictions in stepmotherhood: being expected to help, show up, sacrifice, and carry responsibility -- but reminded you're "not the parent" when you have an opinion. We're unpacking responsibility, boundaries, burnout, Dad's role, and why loving your stepchild doesn't mean you have to prove it by carrying everything. If you've ever thought, "So I'm good enough to help..but not enough to have a say?" this one is for you. Follow along for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes: • Tiktok • Instagram • Facebook

## Transcript

Darlene Sparks: Hey girl, welcome to Love Darlene. I am so glad that you're here. This is where we have the real conversations about stepmom life and blended families. You know, the beautiful, the complicated, ugh, the so uncomfortable, and everything else in between. We're gonna laugh, we're gonna cry, but we're gonna learn. We're gonna look at things from different perspectives, and sometimes We might have to lovingly call ourselves out too. So if you've ever thought, somebody, please tell me that I am not the only one. You're exactly where you need to be, because girl, we've got some things to talk about. Hey y'all, welcome back to Love Darlene. Please pull up a chair because we've got some things to talk about. ⁓ last time we talked about the stepmom and trying to figure out what the role even looks like. And in this episode, I really do want to talk about something I know a lot of stepmoms have felt. And it's the whole you can help, you can cook, you can show up, you can buy the things, you can sit through all the practices, you can help with homework, you can rearrange your schedule. You can even remember the school project everybody else forgot about. And then you can make sure the child has what they need. But the minute you say something somebody doesn't like, the response is, well, you're not the parent. Thanks. I did not forget that I'm not the parent, right? So it's like you you're good enough to help, but not good enough to have a say. Because that right there, that will wear a stepmom out. And let me say this before I anybody takes it the wrong way. I am Definitely not saying a stepmom should have the same authority as mom and dad. Okay. We understand the legalities behind it. There are definitely things that belong to the biological parents. But if something is happening in my home, affecting my schedule, affecting my relationship, affecting my marriage, affecting my money, affecting my peace. And I'm expected to help carry that. I'm expected to help. facilitate

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