# S1E5 - The Jersey Devil; or, Mulder Goons to Cryptids

An episode of [Gen X-Files: a Rewatch Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1895719549), 19 May 2026, 1 h 44 min.

Audio: https://anchor.fm/s/10d929ad8/podcast/play/120229683/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-4-19%2F9912103b-b11f-e7df-dade-6057d7b1312e.mp3

On this week’s episode of our rewatch of The X-Files, Melz and Dash (long-time fans and long-time couple) convince Angel (Dash’s mom and first-time watcher) to take a gamble on season one, episode five: The Jersey Devil! We’re talking corrupt tourist traps, mankind’s place in the food chain, and insufferable assholes that gargle gravel. Along the way, we meet the most divorced dad of all time, who spends the episode competing with Mulder in an intense “down bad” competition. Our deck is stacked this week as we witness Ryan Gosling on a cat’s ass, fondly remember Old Pete’s Feet (rest in peace), discuss Mulder’s possible proto-gooner tendencies, and react to the shocking revelation that Scully apparently thinks Mulder is cute. 😲 If you’re reading this, you’re a friend. Questions, suggestions, hypnoregressions? Make contact at GenXFilesPod@gmail.com!

## Transcript

[0:00] Welcome to Gen. X-Files, the only podcast named
[0:03] that that's exclusively about The X-Files.
[0:07] I'm Angel and this is my first watch.
[0:10] I'm Dash and this is my third or fourth watch.
[0:14] And I'm Mel's and same as Dash 3rd or 4th.
[0:18] And if you're listening, I want to believe you're a friend.
[0:21] And tonight we're discovering that your redneck cousin that
[0:24] runs around in the woods naked and occasionally eats a raccoon
[0:27] or two might just be Bigfoot. All right.
[0:45] Thank you. How are you guys doing today?
[0:48] Fine. How?
[0:49] Are you? I'm doing fine.
[0:51] I watched an X-Files episode. Did you guys watch an X-Files
[0:56] episode? 2 That's crazy.
[0:58] So did I. Was it?
[1:00] Which one was it? Oh, it was was it?
[1:02] What the fuck is the next episode?
[1:04] What the? Devil.
[1:05] Was it the Jersey devil #5 Devil number?
[1:08] Five. Oh my God, really?
[1:09] You guys all watch the same movie?
[1:11] Jersey devil #5 Imagine imagine the Jersey Devil comes out with
[1:15] its own perfume. I.
[1:16] Was thinking of that right when you said that.
[1:19] Oh God, what would it smell like, mom?
[1:22] Feet. Probably.
[1:24] Hairy feet. Hairy, dirty feet.
[1:26] Hairy, dirty feet. Paint fight.
[1:29] Yeah. But maybe like a little after
[1:31] after hint of rows or something? Me and my mom had this old joke
[1:35] You might know the song by I think it's Naughty By Nature.
[1:38] I'm gonna get this wrong, probably, but I think it was
[1:41] Naughty By Nature, that song OPP where they say you down with
[1:45] OPP? Yeah, You know me?
[1:47] We would say you down with old Pete's Feet.
[1:48] Yeah, you know me. And then after the fact, we
[1:51] found out there was this guy in in Britain somewhere in, in the
[1:56] United Kingdom somewhere. And he was Pete the Feet.
[1:59] And he was known for drinking heavily and just walking all
[2:02] over barefoot with no shoes to speed up.
[2:05] Never wore shoes at all, right? Yeah, he never wore shoes a day
[2:08] in his life since he was 16 or something or something.
[2:11] Like 1316 something like that be.
[2:13] Some tough. Feet.
[2:14] He. Oh, yeah.
[2:15] Yeah. Talk about breakdown.
[2:17] A door with one swift kick. He's since passed away, but what
[2:20] a legend. Rest in peace, Pete.
[2:22] The feet. All.
[2:25] Right, all right. Anyway, what a crazy little.
[2:28] You know, I thought of something since all three of us watched
[2:32] this episode, why don't we talk about this episode?
[2:35] I think you got something there. What do you think?
[2:38] Was there something I was supposed to say, 'cause I feel
[2:40] like there was one thing. Oh yeah.
[2:44] What's been keeping you up at night, Mom?
[2:46] What if what's? Which is a question I ask.
[2:49] Meaning what have you been watching?
[2:51] What have you been? Is my friend Eddie?
[2:53] The Axe would say consuming. Yes.
[2:56] What media have you been consuming?
[2:58] I haven't been watching anything because the ball season has
[3:04] started for the kids, so we got softball and baseball game.
[3:08] I am so sorry. Why you been watching that?
[3:10] That's been keeping you up at night.
[3:13] You've been sitting in the darkness, staring like a a
[3:15] Kubrick stare into the middle distance, thinking about
[3:18] softball. Yeah.
[3:21] So all the grand kiddos are doing sports and you're having
[3:23] to go to all the different games and stuff.
[3:25] Yes, me and my husband had to split up last night because one
[3:28] grandkid had a game here and the other one had a game there.
[3:32] And you can't be in two places at once.
[3:34] I was going to say, do you ever have to choose?
[3:37] Like make it just make a choice because you, you just can't do
[3:40] it. You have to do one or the other.
[3:42] No, we always split up. That's good.
[3:46] What if there's three at the same time?
[3:48] I don't know what we'll do then. You're going to have to chop off
[3:50] an arm and just send it in instead.
[3:52] I was. Going to say, there's so many,
[3:53] there's getting to be so many of them and they're all doing
[3:55] something. Yes, Lord.
[3:57] What are you going to do when you have 9 great grandkids?
[4:00] Oh gosh, I'll be at home crochet and.
[4:05] Crochet and everybody can come visit.
[4:07] What's what's been keeping you up at night?
[4:09] Mel's. Oh well, we started to watch
[4:14] Daredevil season 2. We did Born Again season 2.
[4:18] Yeah, this is. Season 2, yeah, and well.
[4:20] Technically, it's technically it's like season 5, but this is
[4:24] the second season of the this. Iteration.
[4:27] New, not redemption. Reboot re re make re do.
[4:33] Re we're go with the reboot because it picked up with the
[4:36] same people I think. So it's a reboot, right?
[4:38] Yeah, I guess I don't know. Anyway, it's really good.
[4:40] Yeah, we started watching that and then what else were we
[4:45] watching? And of course, and we are
[4:47] continuing on our Smallville journey.
[4:49] Yes, we just watched season 6 episode 3 the other night I.
[4:53] Think yeah, we finished season 5 and started up as and started
[4:56] Season 6. Yeah, it's getting interesting.
[5:01] Spoiler alert, cover your ears. It's the part where Lex and LON
[5:05] are together. Oh my.
[5:06] And Lex is evil. He's finally being evil.
[5:09] Pretty. He's pretty.
[5:12] He's. Kind of.
[5:12] He's still being ambiguously evil.
[5:15] Yeah. I still feel like he believes
[5:20] that his motivation is still not that bad.
[5:24] It's still a good thing. Yeah.
[5:27] And he'd be so he's not necessarily like, just, oh, I
[5:29] want to rule the world. Fuck it.
[5:31] Have you ever seen any? We I feel like we talked about
[5:33] it, yeah, all the time. And and we definitely spoke
[5:37] about it before on the podcast. But so I guess listeners.
[5:41] What have you been up? What's been keeping you up?
[5:43] What I got to remember to say? Friends, I always forget to talk
[5:46] to the listener. Hey guys, I remember you're
[5:48] there. I promise.
[5:49] Anyway. Wait, what do you mean?
[5:52] Is someone listening? Maybe hello the one person
[5:56] listening. We know you are out there like
[5:59] the truth and we love you. It's your grandma.
[6:01] Like the truth? I'm.
[6:04] The grandma. So friends, what has been
[6:07] keeping me up at night is I've been playing through Horizon
[6:10] Forbidden W again. It's it's a very good game.
[6:14] I love the combat. I love the systems of like
[6:17] taking components off of machines and stuff in in combat,
[6:22] but I do not like how soulless Ayloy as a character is.
[6:25] There's like no friction. Like she's always just, oh, I'm
[6:29] gonna help this person And then they're like, you're not the
[6:31] chosen one. And then she helps them and
[6:33] they're like, you're the chosen 1.
[6:34] And that's the whole story over and over again.
[6:37] But there's. No development.
[6:38] Or growth. It is really cool.
[6:40] Like machine animals basically take over the world.
[6:44] Kind of they're like, it's high tech AI.
[6:47] Is it AAI? Yeah, it's. 1000 years in the
[6:51] future. And like the planets been like
[6:54] mostly obliterated by some bullshit and the machines are
[6:57] like, oh, do all the machines just naturally like want to kill
[7:01] humans? Just like the big basically.
[7:03] Yeah, basically. And they like, they've been
[7:06] walking around in the same patterns for so long that you
[7:09] can see the shapes of their walks, like from like way up in
[7:12] the sky, you can see the lines. And the crazy thing is you're
[7:15] taking them down with like bows and arrows and stuff.
[7:18] But like fancy schmancy, upgraded bows and arrows
[7:22] exploding and fire, it's. Crazy, but also we've been
[7:25] playing through Metal Gear. Delta, the remake of Snake
[7:29] Eater? Yeah.
[7:30] Which I believe we said last time.
[7:32] Yes, but we are still playing through.
[7:34] We just finished the Fury, which you beat for me.
[7:37] Yeah, not because I couldn't do it, but because you wanted to
[7:41] get, you just wanted to get it over with.
[7:43] Yeah, and played a little bit more.
[7:47] Other than that, we haven't been watching a lot of movies.
[7:51] We watched Faces of Death. Oh God, that's right.
[7:53] OK, so we wouldn't solve faces of Death at the theater?
[7:56] Yeah, it was cool to hear Charlie Xex's American accent.
[7:59] That was probably the highest point of the movie for me.
[8:02] But in the second scene with her, she really faltered.
[8:05] So that was. Yeah, and her acting was subpar.
[8:08] It's all right to be sure. The rest of the movie was subpar
[8:12] to be sure though, too. So not can't necessarily blame
[8:15] her for that. Yeah, but.
[8:16] It was OK. It was, it was just we gave,
[8:18] what did we give? 2.52 point.
[8:20] Five. Yeah, likeable, but not anything
[8:22] special at all. Have we told the audience our
[8:26] letterbox? Maybe we should put that on our
[8:29] thing and maybe. And so if we do that, then it's
[8:32] already there. Yeah, we'll, we'll put that.
[8:34] We'll put it there, Sure. I mean, it's Dash and Miles.
[8:37] Yeah. That's it.
[8:38] Yeah, I was just saying you. Can see what we watch and I I
[8:42] have people from the grind bin and chromium and bloody bits and
[8:45] stuff on there I think. Yeah.
[8:47] Oh yeah, we saw Project Hail Mary, which was really good.
[8:49] Oh project Hail Mary was incredible.
[8:52] That movie was just it had probably like 30 minutes of like
[8:57] unnecessary. Still cool looking parts, I was
[9:01] just kind of. I think mom wants to go see
[9:03] that, right? Yes, I heard a lot about it, but
[9:07] I haven't seen it or anything. But yes, I saw an interview with
[9:13] on the Drew Barrymore Show and of course you.
[9:16] Love watching your Drew. I do, and it made me want to
[9:19] really go see it. It was sounded really.
[9:21] Interesting. It.
[9:22] It was really phenomenal. I really enjoyed it.
[9:24] You will. You're you're gonna like, cry
[9:27] happy tears kind. Of.
[9:28] Thing yeah, so beautiful and he is such a good actor and he's
[9:34] hot, so it helped. And then we had to.
[9:38] We should tell him what happened.
[9:39] Oh, yeah. While we were at the drive in
[9:42] movie theater, something kept obscuring the screen and people
[9:46] were like, flashing their lights and like, honking and stuff.
[9:49] And it kept happening over and over and over again.
[9:51] We probably missed about 7 or 8 minutes of the movie at least.
[9:55] And so eventually me and some other people walked back to, you
[9:59] know, where you get the concessions and where the
[10:01] projector is and everything. And we were like, you know,
[10:05] shining our lights up there. And then we noticed from our
[10:08] phones and then we noticed that there was a cat in the
[10:11] projection booth. And so somebody was trying to
[10:14] get it down and eventually the owner came out and got him down
[10:16] himself because it was his cat. But The funny thing is, for
[10:20] about like maybe 2%, maybe like .5% of that movie, Ryan Gosling
[10:25] was on that cat's ass. But.
[10:31] Yeah, I mean, we were. There was like a Symphony of
[10:33] cars all honking their horns simultaneously.
[10:37] Yeah, kind of thing. For a long time.
[10:40] Like we were all getting so pissed off we thought someone
[10:42] was just blocking the the camera.
[10:43] And we thought there was some idiot up there like, oh, I don't
[10:46] notice anything on my body. Like, look down man, there's a
[10:50] movie happening on your shirt. Right.
[10:53] It's like it's on your chest. The Dream.
[10:57] Like in vanilla sky. So you guys want to talk about
[11:02] this episode? Nah.
[11:04] All right, let's go home. OK, so this episode is called
[11:10] The Jersey Devil, and it was written by Chris Carter and
[11:14] directed by Joel Joe Napolitano and the homeless man whose name
[11:22] Jack is played by Rothgar Matthews.
[11:25] I hope to God I'm saying that right.
[11:26] I take it it's like a Finnish or Swedish name or something.
[11:29] And I forget why I wrote this down.
[11:31] I probably should have wrote it down, but he was in something.
[11:35] Do you want to look up what he was in who?
[11:38] Harothgar, Matthews. While they're looking that up, I
[11:41] just want to let you know the Jersey Devil is really about
[11:45] people who don't know what grits are made out of and think that
[11:49] they're made out of animal byproducts.
[11:52] Bye bye. What I don't get it, was that a
[11:56] joke? That's.
[11:57] When I lived in New Jersey, there were no grits to be found.
[12:02] And I asked, hey, where's y'all's grits?
[12:04] And they said, what's grits? Animal by products.
[12:07] And I said no, it's like a corn thing that you have for
[12:12] breakfast. They didn't know what Grits was.
[12:15] They didn't have any grits in any groceries.
[12:17] It's like, it's like in My Cousin Vinny, when he goes, he's
[12:20] in Alabama and he goes to the diner and he's like, can I have
[12:23] some grits? And he puts it down and he's
[12:25] like, what is this? He's like, you asked for grits.
[12:28] He's like, yeah, but this is just a grit.
[12:29] I asked for grits. I mean, I think he's just like a
[12:34] Canadian actors, but in like Canadian shows that we've ever
[12:37] seen. Nothing.
[12:39] Yeah, OK, I have no idea why friends I added him, but you can
[12:44] enjoy that little tidbit that Harothgar Matthews is a funny
[12:48] name for this man that is homeless in this episode.
[12:53] And this episode had an air date of October 8th, 1993.
[12:58] Mom, what were you doing on October 8th, 1993?
[13:00] Well, I'm going to tell you exactly what I was doing.
[13:03] I was putting you in. I was shopping for you.
[13:07] A pumpkin little Halloween costume.
[13:10] Is that what I wore for my first Halloween?
[13:12] You. Were a pumpkin.
[13:13] Oh my God, I thought you were the cutest pumpkin ever.
[13:17] Absolutely was. Did you pluck me out of the
[13:20] ground? Yeah, that's where that's where
[13:22] all kids come from. Pumpkin patches and cabbage
[13:25] patches. I thought it was storks.
[13:29] Well, the stork had a really hard time carrying that pumpkin
[13:33] that had you inside of it to the house.
[13:34] You trying to call me fat? No, the pumpkin was heavy, not
[13:38] you. Oh, OK.
[13:39] I thought I was the pumpkin. I was having an existential
[13:41] crisis. You were probably a fat baby
[13:44] though. But why don't you ever ask me
[13:47] what I was doing on that day? What were you doing on that day?
[13:50] Kindergarten. I was 5.
[13:52] Kindergarten. Kindergarten.
[13:53] Yeah, probably kindergarten in wait.
[13:55] Kindergarten in North Carolina was where I lived when I was 5.
[14:02] We should have started dating then.
[14:06] You would have been amazed at his pumpkin outfit.
[14:09] I would have just been. I would have just been
[14:11] flabbergasted how unbelievably adorable you were and fell in
[14:14] love immediately. Hell yeah.
[14:17] So you guys want to get into the episode proper?
[14:21] I guess that's why we're here. So boy oh boy does this episode
[14:27] open with a family singing bingo in 1947.
[14:32] They're on their way to Atlantic City, NJ.
[14:35] And on the way to Atlantic City, NJ, their tire blows and they
[14:39] have to pull over to the side of the road.
[14:41] And the dad gets out and he asks the wife to hold the flashlight
[14:45] and he's suddenly ripped away by something off camera.
[14:49] And the distraught wife jumps out of the car and grabs the
[14:52] drop flashlight and she calls his name.
[14:54] No response. And.
[14:56] Screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming.
[14:58] Of course. Yeah, she's screaming his name.
[15:01] Not for the last, not for the first time that night.
[15:06] I guess it was the last time because he did he.
[15:09] Did Spoiler alert, you're about to find out in just a second.
[15:12] And yeah, they, they're about to find out as well because they
[15:15] form a search party and they find them not long after that.
[15:20] And his leg has been chewed off. And not far from the body, they
[15:24] find a cave. One of the men says he's as big
[15:26] as a house. And they draw their guns and
[15:29] shoot into The Cave. And we, yeah, we fade to black.
[15:32] I guess that whoever was in The Cave died, I guess.
[15:36] I don't know, Did they? Given what happens later, I am
[15:38] assuming he's dead because they shoot a bunch of bullets in that
[15:41] cave. You just reminded me.
[15:42] Do they, do they ever discuss that scene ever in the episode?
[15:48] No. So it's kind of a really weird
[15:51] cold opening because I mean, yeah, cold openings usually
[15:53] happen before the main character is like looped in and
[15:56] everything. But this has no bearing on on
[15:59] modern day. Why didn't they just do it with
[16:01] the modern day one? Because the whole reason they're
[16:03] investigating is because there's been another murder and somebody
[16:06] got their arm tore off. During when?
[16:09] When Mulder goes Mulder mode and starts talking about what he
[16:12] knows about Bigfoot stuff or whatever the heck he's talking
[16:14] about, does he mention since 1947 they've been da da da da?
[16:20] I'm sure he something to that effect.
[16:22] I'm. Sure he does, and I probably
[16:23] would have it in my notes somewhere.
[16:25] 'Cause I, I 'cause we just watched it again.
[16:28] And I, I, I didn't remember that opening scene until you just
[16:31] said it. Yeah.
[16:32] Yeah, I didn't either. And.
[16:34] Like they don't mention that ever.
[16:36] And I don't have it written down in here at all.
[16:39] It's it's. Very.
[16:40] It's short. It's a very short one.
[16:42] Yeah, it's it's short and it has nothing really to do with
[16:45] anything. Yeah, I mean it does, but I mean
[16:48] this is. Almost 50 wise, but does we
[16:51] don't really know. But this is almost 50 years
[16:53] before the episode, so like, what?
[16:55] What gives? Yeah, like they.
[16:57] Didn't even why 1947 specifically but we open back up
[17:02] on Scully walking into the X zone to find Molder looking at
[17:06] porn. Of course don't.
[17:08] It's not like hardcore porn. Don't say it like that.
[17:13] I mean, he's looking at a nudie magazine.
[17:15] Yeah, he's looking at a porn magazine and.
[17:17] What does it say on the mag? I feel like it said something
[17:20] that was like it wasn't a real. Now wait a minute.
[17:23] Porn magazine? Do you mean like?
[17:26] Like a Playboy type girls in bikinis and topless stuff.
[17:32] Consider that. Porn, I know I wouldn't either.
[17:35] I've considered that art. Art.
[17:39] OK, you can say it's taste. That's why cuz I he was.
[17:41] Mulder was looking at tasteful nudes like a polite proto gooner
[17:45] would. Oh goodness, yeah.
[17:48] It's because the porn is. I mean, there's a week later we
[17:51] can mention that he's watching porn because I'm sure he.
[17:53] Probably does. Oh, he definitely does.
[17:54] He definitely does, but for now this is I.
[17:57] Think in the episode, you know he's watching porn and then like
[18:00] someone comes in, he's like, oh shit.
[18:02] Yeah. So now I think he's.
[18:04] Not touching himself is this. Our first that's.
[18:06] What makes he's not not touching himself in that scene, That's
[18:08] what makes me think that he's a gooner, just in it for the love
[18:11] of the game. So I think this is the first
[18:13] moment that we're starting the new segment that I just thought
[18:16] of. OK.
[18:18] The proof molder's a gooner checklist every time something
[18:24] happens to this like this, because it starts to be a
[18:27] pattern at a certain point where like it's brought up or
[18:31] mentioned and stuff. And I think that that would be
[18:33] cool. Yeah.
[18:35] I mean, it's definitely this is this.
[18:36] Is the first time it's happened. Yeah, it's very explicitly.
[18:39] He's just looking at a nudie magazine.
[18:41] It's a recurring, it's a recurring thing with Mr. Molder.
[18:45] So that should definitely be something that we keep tabs on.
[18:49] But apparently in this magazine that Molder is looking at,
[18:54] there's conveniently an article about a woman who claims to have
[18:57] been abducted and held in an anti gravity chamber.
[19:00] And Scully makes a boob joke here about yeah, anti gravity is
[19:04] right. Oh my goodness.
[19:06] So I'm guessing her her boobs are huge.
[19:08] Probably, yeah. And fake, yeah.
[19:13] Scully fills Mulder in on a murder similar to the one from
[19:16] the cold open, a body of a homeless man in the Jersey woods
[19:19] just outside of Atlantic City, his right arm and shoulder
[19:23] chewed off by a human, by all appearances.
[19:27] And Mulder puts on his jacket and asked Scully if she's
[19:30] feeling lucky. She says it's the local police's
[19:33] business, not theirs. Then why did you bring it up to
[19:36] this unwell man, Scully, he's not well.
[19:39] He's going to be like, Oh my God, something weird.
[19:41] I got to check it out. Yeah.
[19:45] And Mulder asked her if she's familiar with the Jersey Devil.
[19:49] He details the killing from the cold open.
[19:52] So he does bring it up it it does come up.
[19:54] And he, so he just, he talks about it, I guess.
[19:56] Yeah, apparently the person they shot to death in The Cave that
[19:59] day was a large, naked man. And they lost the autopsy
[20:03] results or something, right? Probably or they denied it
[20:07] because I mean, Atlantic City's a tourism city, which we get
[20:09] into a little bit. They they found human flesh and
[20:14] bone in the naked man's stomach during the autopsy.
[20:16] However, the autopsy disappeared from the file a few years on
[20:19] from the incident. But there is a statement from
[20:22] the pathologist and Molder goes out and he orders a car.
[20:26] And Scully says this sounds like an urban legend, but Molder
[20:30] reminds her that no matter what, someone or something is eating
[20:32] people out in Jersey. Yeah, yeah.
[20:35] So it's like no matter what. You.
[20:37] Think about it, there's still someone chewing body parts off
[20:41] people somewhere, so like. Somebody hungry?
[20:45] Yeah, something's got to be done about something.
[20:48] Get this man some Hamburger Helper or woman.
[20:52] Yeah. But anyway, they get to Jersey
[20:55] and they take a look at the body, and the examiner states
[20:58] that it does look like human teeth did indeed do this.
[21:02] The victim also has a skull fracture and a high blood
[21:04] alcohol level. So it's, well, wow.
[21:07] Blood alcohol level. Yeah, that's the word.
[21:10] So it's hard to tell whether he was alive or not when he was
[21:13] munched on, but it definitely looks again like a large adult
[21:17] male bite mark. And this is when our lovely
[21:21] friend, you friends, you will come to know and love this man
[21:27] Detective Thompson. What a great character.
[21:29] I called him Tommy. Tommy is.
[21:31] That his name. Detective Thompson, you can call
[21:34] him Tommy. Fuck him, he's a loser.
[21:35] I said. Tommy comes in.
[21:37] Tommy comes in and he's the guy that's handling the murder case,
[21:43] and the voice this guy has sounds like he gargles gravel.
[21:48] Yeah, it's, it's pretty rough. It's really, it's really
[21:51] excessive. He sounds like he's smoking a
[21:53] cigarette while he's talking, but he's not by what we can
[21:56] tell. He might take a puff every time
[21:58] it flits back to molder or something, but.
[22:00] What's am I doing here? Yeah, I can't.
[22:04] I don't know. I'm not good with voice.
[22:05] He's like, I don't answer to you, Sir.
[22:07] His voice is insanely deep. But you.
[22:10] Got to talk from your throat. But he asked them to leave as
[22:13] they're in the middle of an investigation and the medical
[22:16] examiner tells him not to be so pissy.
[22:19] Yeah, that's right. I think that's is that literally
[22:22] what she says? Don't be so pissy.
[22:24] I think so. Molder asked him about the case,
[22:27] but he doesn't budget an inch. So they just leave.
[22:29] They have to, yeah. That's it, I guess.
[22:31] I guess it's the episode. All right.
[22:33] This is fun guys. In Scully's, Scully kind of sees
[22:36] Thompson's side here. She says, you know, he's well
[22:39] within his jurisdiction to tell him to fuck off, you know?
[22:42] But she does add that if Molder really wanted to show him up, he
[22:45] could have told Thompson that he knows who did it, the Jersey
[22:48] Devil. So Molder decides to stay behind
[22:53] and do some looking around while Scully goes back to DC for her
[22:56] godson's birthday. And she's very upset about this
[22:59] because it's going to be a three hour drive in Friday traffic and
[23:02] Molder is just Smog smugly walking away.
[23:05] He doesn't care. He's on a mission.
[23:07] Yeah, he's got business. He's going on molder mode or in
[23:10] molder mode or whatever it was you said.
[23:12] He goes molder mode. He does.
[23:15] Molder gets in touch with the New Jersey Park Service and he
[23:19] talks to a Ranger who takes him out to where the body was found.
[23:23] And the Ranger says not many homeless people, like the
[23:26] victim, come through these woods 'cause they're scared of the
[23:28] devil. Moulder says.
[23:30] Isn't that a myth? And the Ranger says he's seen a
[23:33] lot of weird stuff in his 32 years on the job.
[23:36] I guarantee he has seen some weird stuff as much as there's
[23:40] apparently just missing bodies that turn up with like limbs
[23:43] just taken away. Yeah.
[23:45] Does he? He's got to think.
[23:48] He's got to think, like, I mean, I know that there's teeth Marks
[23:51] and stuff, but if there wasn't teeth marks, he'd have to think
[23:53] somebody was building a Frankenstein.
[23:55] Yeah, because it's weird. And like this guy, I got to say
[23:59] he when he talks about the stuff he's seen and stuff, he his
[24:02] acting is pretty good like. Yeah, the I should have looked
[24:06] up his name. Because to be honest with you,
[24:08] like, I mean, you're, you're talking mid 90s right now and
[24:11] stuff, not just a lot of the side characters aren't the
[24:15] greatest actors ever. I don't even think that I wrote
[24:18] down the ranger's name, so that's unfortunate.
[24:20] Oh yeah, he was great. Yeah, but he details a time four
[24:24] years ago where he saw where he saw a large nude man come out of
[24:28] the woods. The man started sniffing the
[24:31] air. Then he looked directly at the
[24:32] Ranger and took off into the woods.
[24:36] Sound like anybody you know around here?
[24:39] Billy Joe Bob. Billy Joe Bob, me and my mom
[24:43] have this thing where we'll see random people on the street as
[24:45] we're driving by them, and we'll say, hey, that's Laura Metcalf.
[24:49] I haven't seen her since 1992 when she was in the rodeo.
[24:54] Circus. Circus circuit is in the rodeo
[24:59] circus circuit doing rodeos and circuses, stuff like that.
[25:03] Just random shit there's. Got to be some crossover circus
[25:05] rodeo stuff. There definitely is right?
[25:08] Yeah. If not, they're missing out on
[25:09] money. Got that?
[25:11] Right. But the Ranger never saw the
[25:14] strange man again. But he's found things.
[25:16] Droppings, A rabbit with a human tooth in it, deer bones that had
[25:19] been sharpened, strange stuff like that.
[25:22] And the Ranger won't say if he thinks that the man he saw could
[25:25] do this to the victim, but he does say he never comes out into
[25:28] the woods without his weapon. Not anymore.
[25:30] Uh huh. Motor asks him to call him if he
[25:32] thinks of anything else and starts to walk into town for
[25:35] some reason. Yeah, he just walks away.
[25:38] He just start I mean I I very. Casually.
[25:40] Too 'cause he figures maybe like, oh, it's people on the
[25:42] street that this thing is attacking or something.
[25:45] Maybe he'll run into it on his way to the, I don't know.
[25:49] Yeah, it's. Weird, but we smash cut the
[25:52] children in a monkey into oh fuck, I'm gonna.
[25:56] Yeah, monkey kids. Yes, we smash cut to children in
[25:59] monkey masks running into walls at a birthday party.
[26:03] Yeah, and Scully helps this clumsy buffoon in the monkey
[26:06] mask who's just run into the wall up.
[26:08] And we see a dog taking a huge leisurely chomp at a birthday
[26:13] cake. Oh my God that made me so mad.
[26:16] Dude I would what kind I feel like.
[26:19] I still eat the rest of it. Yeah, yeah.
[26:21] They're going to they start eating it.
[26:23] Muzzy wouldn't do that, and Foxy wouldn't do that.
[26:25] Even though Muzzy specifically is very ravenous about treats,
[26:29] Foxy's kind of gentle about it. I mean, if if they were left
[26:32] completely alone with no one there and there was a cake on
[26:34] the table, they might eventually eat it.
[26:36] Yeah. But I mean, I guess obviously
[26:39] eventually. But I mean like you, if it's
[26:41] just like 20 minutes, they might.
[26:43] Yeah, if they were left on it. But if we were anywhere nearby
[26:46] and like they went close to it and be like no and they wouldn't
[26:49] touch it. Yeah, all them, all them fucking
[26:50] kids were just like until the mom come.
[26:54] Eating our entire cake. Yeah, like dudes, don't you give
[26:57] a shit about your food. And then like to be honest with
[27:00] you the the mom and stuff didn't seem mad enough in my opinion.
[27:05] He was like, oh darn dog. Also during this scene, there's
[27:09] just constant party blowers, like going the whole time, like,
[27:13] yeah, just people just blowing it.
[27:15] I mean, I, by the way, when I wrote these, I had no idea what
[27:18] to call them, so I looked it up. They're like party blowers or
[27:20] party whistles or something like that.
[27:22] Yeah, everyone knows, but it's. The thing that's rolled up, you
[27:24] blow into it, it unrolls and. I don't know how.
[27:27] Party blowers Sounds like some, yeah.
[27:32] Yeah, wasn't that your name in high school?
[27:33] Males. Hey.
[27:35] It was my name in high school for a different reason.
[27:38] I don't know what, but you can fill that in with your
[27:40] imagination. How do you know what Maverick
[27:42] was in was? Touché, Scully's friend, thinks
[27:49] Scully would make a great mom and tells her she should find a
[27:52] man. Brings up molder, which But
[27:57] apparently Scully had told her molder was cute.
[28:01] I know you remember that you what you think like.
[28:05] Oh my God. It's I just like I know they're
[28:08] gonna make out by the time the whole thing shows over.
[28:12] Well, The funny thing about this is Chris Carter, the creator,
[28:16] said repeatedly over and over that they were never gonna get
[28:19] together. But then there's stuff like this
[28:22] in episode 5 of the series. It's like, OK, she thinks he's
[28:26] cute. It's a very well they won't they
[28:28] thing. But she's also told him that
[28:30] he's obsessed with his work. And I, I really can't believe
[28:34] that romance seeds were planted this early.
[28:35] I mean, I basically said that, but I have it in my notes.
[28:37] I want to say it again. I can't believe it.
[28:39] I mean, in the very first episode, yeah, a little bit.
[28:43] Yeah, it's they're very like he bends down and like looks at her
[28:46] back and they're like smiling at each other and.
[28:49] Like close to hugging and stuff and.
[28:51] But Molder is walking alone through the woods, as I assume
[28:54] he often does. And I, I I have no idea why
[29:00] we're showing him walking through the woods.
[29:01] Like, See, look, he's obsessed with his work.
[29:04] He's wood walking. You remember Molder?
[29:06] Yeah. Yeah, it's weird, but is it?
[29:09] As if on cue, a tall single 90s dad walks in the door and we
[29:14] know he's single because Scully's friend whisper yells
[29:16] that he's divorced from across the room.
[29:19] She's like, she doesn't even say he's divorced, she just says
[29:22] divorced like and then OK man. Holy shit.
[29:27] Scully does a little bit of like an eye roll and then she like
[29:30] looks at him like why not? Yeah, I guess so.
[29:35] But like, that's what you really want to tell somebody.
[29:37] Like whenever you're like bringing up a dating prospect,
[29:40] you're like this guy, he's got baggage.
[29:43] Right. That's that's why I said we were
[29:44] watching. I said too.
[29:45] I was like, yeah, divorce. Just let him know that the last
[29:48] one didn't want him. Yeah, so last one didn't want
[29:52] him. You want you want to try out
[29:53] like. What?
[29:55] But we cut back to Mulder and he continues his pilgrimage, ending
[29:58] up at a homeless encampment. He asked some people outside if
[30:02] they've heard of Roger Crockett. Who's the victim?
[30:05] The guy that died. Yeah, the homeless guy that
[30:07] died. Yeah, and eventually a man steps
[30:10] forward. Our boy Harothgar.
[30:13] Harothgar. I don't know.
[30:14] I really don't know if I'm saying that right and I should
[30:16] look it up, but anyway. He had very piercing eyes.
[30:21] He did. And in the pictures I just
[30:23] looked up, he does have very piercing eyes.
[30:25] Very green piercing eyes. He kind of reminds me of that
[30:28] guy from Freddie versus Jason. He has a brother and he he gets
[30:36] his back caught up by Freddie. He's like the only kill that
[30:39] Freddie gets in that movie, I'm pretty sure.
[30:42] Yeah, you're OK. Yep, you have no idea.
[30:45] Anyway, the 2003 summer slasher blockbuster hit Freddie versus
[30:50] Jason. This guy kind of looks like that
[30:52] one dude from it. Maybe, maybe one of our friends
[30:55] will know. One of our friends will probably
[30:58] know. I'm sure there's somebody out
[31:00] there that's like you're talking about Dave Portnoy, not that
[31:05] one. Nope.
[31:06] I'm pretty sure his name is Dave, the guy that I'm thinking
[31:08] of. I might be wrong.
[31:09] Anyway, you'll. Randomly think of it like 5
[31:11] minutes or something. I definitely won't 'cause I'm
[31:13] not good with like that. Kind of like name of a person of
[31:17] a movie that I kind of like but I haven't seen in years.
[31:20] Yeah, but the guy that walks up to Mulder, he asked Mulder if
[31:27] he's a cop and Molder says he's FBII.
[31:30] And I guess that's good enough because he said he wants to show
[31:33] Molder something. And he said he says follow me.
[31:36] Yeah, he's like FBI. Well, it's not a cop.
[31:38] I mean, I guess he couldn't arrest him.
[31:39] You know, he could maybe detain. Him.
[31:41] Yeah, like jurisdiction, like it's not.
[31:43] Yeah, he could federally detain him, but he couldn't, like,
[31:45] arrest him. No, I know why, but you don't
[31:48] really. You don't understand it until
[31:50] later, huh? Because the cops in the town.
[31:53] Oh yeah, because the cops in the town are assholes.
[31:55] That's what I was about to. Say, yeah, yeah, but he then he
[32:00] asked Molder for money, which Molder does give him.
[32:03] No, no, no, no, he says. I'm going to need some money.
[32:07] Yeah, he doesn't even ask that. I'm going to need some money.
[32:10] I'll need some money for this. It'd be funny if he just dropped
[32:13] to his knees and Molder's like, what is going on?
[32:15] He's like, I thought this was all code for something man.
[32:20] That is a very strange exchange money walking to a dark alley
[32:24] together scenario. I'm real known around this town.
[32:27] I thought everybody knew that I'm FBI was my code for blowjob.
[32:32] But the man starts digging around in some sort of makeshift
[32:37] hobble and he produces a Keith Herring drawing.
[32:40] You know, I said that really weird, a Keith Herring drawing.
[32:44] Do you know Keith Herring? No, but I was a herring at one
[32:48] time. Well, you want to look it up
[32:52] real. Quick, I know that this drawing,
[32:54] I was like so unimpressed. I was like what the hell is this
[32:59] a drawing of? Here I will show you a Keith
[33:02] Herring drawing. You will automatically know what
[33:04] in the hell I'm talking about. Yeah, it's the these ones.
[33:08] Oh, OK. Yeah, the kind of 90s and 80s
[33:11] people are all dancing in their different colors.
[33:13] So they're bright, bright, contrasting colors.
[33:16] Not not quite stick figures, but very simplistic, very much like
[33:19] this fucking weird drawing that we have.
[33:21] Yeah, which is? Which is?
[33:26] Did it have tits? No, no, not this one.
[33:28] This one did not have tits. It was just flat.
[33:31] It was flat and it was didn't have tits.
[33:33] No, no, no, no. There's another one I tips later
[33:35] it was. I think.
[33:36] So. OK.
[33:37] And I was, and then Molder looks at it and says, oh gosh, it's
[33:41] this thing is huge. And I was like, how can you
[33:44] tell? It's huge?
[33:44] It's just. Kind of like you could just like
[33:47] tell like the the middle section was like a little longer than a
[33:50] regular person's would be, but that's like it.
[33:53] You can't tell that it's big in the drawing.
[33:56] Yeah, it's it's. An 8 inch tall drawing, Yeah. 8
[34:01] inches, baby. But yeah, it really is comically
[34:06] bad, and it's nondescript, like there's nothing going on.
[34:10] It's very, very, I mean just. There's this hilarious musicals
[34:13] thing that happens when Mulder looks at the drawing too.
[34:15] Like Dun Dun Dun. I mean, not quite like that,
[34:18] but. It's for emphasis.
[34:20] It's like Dun like oh. Shit.
[34:23] And it's just that drawing, which to be honest with you,
[34:28] they probably asked someone's like 7 year old kid if they
[34:34] could hey, draw a picture of a tall scary man.
[34:38] And that's what the seven-year old drew.
[34:41] And they were like, perfect. It was definitely just a like
[34:44] unpaid intern production assistant type deal.
[34:47] It's like. Yeah, for.
[34:48] You, Mr. Chris Carter. And it's just, and you know
[34:51] what? It almost looks like whoever did
[34:53] it did it the whole drawing besides their face and just one
[34:57] continuous. Yeah, it's.
[34:58] Like there's no, they don't pick up the pen.
[35:01] They just like that, yeah. But he says the homeless man
[35:06] says he found the drawing stuck in a pocket of a jacket he just
[35:11] found somewhere, I guess. And he says he's seen the thing
[35:14] depicted in the drawing. He's seen it right in this spot,
[35:17] as a matter of fact. And it scared the hell out of
[35:19] him. And so Molder does the rational
[35:21] thing and offers the man his motel room for the night.
[35:24] Yeah, it just switched. He's gonna take his cardboard
[35:27] tent in the alley and he gives him the key to his room.
[35:33] And doesn't he say something about room service too?
[35:35] Well, this man isn't no slip. He asked if they have HBO first.
[35:39] Oh, that's right, that's right, he asked about HBO.
[35:41] That's important. He's wanting to get some what
[35:43] would have been on HBO at the time.
[35:45] I imagine late night they would in.
[35:46] The middle of the night almost porn stuff.
[35:49] Yeah, but. Softcore.
[35:51] What was 'cause like I know Sopranos was 1999 and besides
[35:57] that like I can't think of another before that or what?
[36:02] Playboy used to have this thing that would come on late at night
[36:05] and it would be the girls dancing or just walking slowly
[36:10] in their lingerie and sometimes they didn't have any sort of top
[36:14] on at all. I bet that's what he was
[36:16] watching. Yeah, probably.
[36:18] And you would have been 23 in 1993.
[36:22] So you probably, I don't know did you guys have, did you, when
[36:25] was the first time you had HBO? Because we definitely had it
[36:28] when we had DIRECTV in the 2000. I have no idea, but I can
[36:31] remember exactly that. Your dad and I, we're having a
[36:35] party with some friends. You know, back then we used to
[36:38] go to hotels sometimes and just have a party and get drunk.
[36:42] Yeah. And that was on after everybody
[36:45] left and we were trying to go to sleep.
[36:49] Just some some good background TV to watch, right?
[36:52] HBO after hours. So I guess he's satisfied that
[36:57] they got HBO and he leaves Mulder his well established
[37:01] abode and. He has a big smile on his face.
[37:04] He takes off. Yeah, he's just Molder's just
[37:06] holding down the fork. He's he didn't literally a Fort.
[37:09] He didn't even ask. Yeah, like a cardboard fork,
[37:13] like a blanket fork, basically. He didn't even ask.
[37:15] Hey man, you got any like snacks like cans of beans I could eat
[37:17] while I'm out here exposed to the elements?
[37:20] Of beads, the most cliche homeless.
[37:24] Maybe have some granola bars, some neutral grain, or some fig
[37:28] newtons? Fig.
[37:28] Newtons. I hate fig Newtons man, what the
[37:31] hell? I used.
[37:32] I like them because they are filling.
[37:35] Yeah, if you're really hungry. I hate the texture of the
[37:39] cookie. Yeah, the cookie is very, it's a
[37:41] very like grainy it's. Like and it gets thick in your
[37:45] mouth. I don't know if y'all can hear
[37:46] my sound if it's. Like that gloppy?
[37:50] It's hard to, I don't like it, I hate it.
[37:53] But the strawberry ones are kind of good though.
[37:55] Like the ones who have the nougat flavor or the fig flavor.
[37:58] They're like, yeah, the fig one, It's like, what are you doing to
[38:00] your body and you eat this? What even is a fig?
[38:03] I think you eat them and they just are absorbed into your
[38:05] body. You never shit those out.
[38:08] You're fig forever. You're fig forever, but he's all
[38:15] bundled up in a blanket because it's New Jersey and it's
[38:17] probably cold at night and he starts dozing off when he hears
[38:21] some noises that rouse him out of his sleep and he sees
[38:24] something moving down the way and stealthily goes to
[38:27] investigate. Whatever it is, it's digging
[38:29] through some trash. The thing sniffs in molders
[38:32] direction and then hightails it out of there.
[38:34] I can't blame, he probably stinks.
[38:36] I just have a feeling that like after walking all that way like
[38:39] during the day and then like just hanging out outside around
[38:43] like garbage and like random trinkets, he probably stinks a
[38:46] little bit. Especially if you have
[38:48] heightened senses. I just want to point out that in
[38:50] this scene, Mulder hides and and it's looking like, you know,
[38:55] like to the side like that and he's hiding behind a string thin
[39:00] pole almost the pole is. So why does he look like he's
[39:05] hiding? We say you.
[39:06] It's like the little kid that hides in plain sight.
[39:10] You can't see me. I'm behind the couch, you're
[39:13] standing up. He he kind of is like a big kid
[39:18] a lot of the time. Oh, yeah.
[39:19] Oh, yeah. Oh.
[39:20] Yeah, Mulder, Scully has to play Mom sometimes.
[39:24] Like, no, no Mulder, we can't believe everything is aliens.
[39:27] Come on now, Mulder, don't go in the hole.
[39:29] I'm going to go in the hole, Scully, but he'd.
[39:34] Already be in the hole by that point.
[39:35] So Mulder gives chase to this thing as it's running away from
[39:38] him and it runs across a rooftop and vanishes into the night.
[39:42] And just then some cops show up and think Moulder's a crazy
[39:45] homeless man ranting about people running on roofs and they
[39:49] take them away as they should. OK, now I got to say when I'm
[39:52] seeing this scene, it was weird. It didn't really make a lot of
[39:55] sense. So they were what, running
[39:57] around chasing. He was chasing this thing and he
[40:00] has and he's and he chases it out onto this road, very empty,
[40:04] deserted area. There's like maybe some homeless
[40:06] people in the background. That's about it, right?
[40:09] Dark. So on the roof, he sees her, on
[40:11] the roof, he gets, like, eye contact with her.
[40:14] Yeah. Yeah.
[40:14] And you see it's a woman at this point.
[40:16] Yeah. You.
[40:16] Can tell it's a woman. And when she's running, he.
[40:19] Can tell, but we can tell. When you she's running, you can
[40:21] tell it's a girl. In 1993, you might not have been
[40:24] able to tell. On a TV in 93.
[40:26] Maybe on a CRT television? Surprised they showed her
[40:29] buttocks. Yeah, yeah.
[40:31] And it barely. Going for that hard PG rating,
[40:35] yeah. Right.
[40:36] But then like, he's literally, he gets out into the, like
[40:40] almost into the road, looking up at the roof.
[40:42] And then all of a sudden the cops just pulled up behind him.
[40:44] No lights on. Yeah, just pull up behind him
[40:47] and get out. And he says, hey, there's
[40:49] someone on the roof. And they say, come with us, Sir,
[40:52] you're being arrested. What?
[40:55] They don't even. And and yeah, I get because we
[40:58] learned the cops are just terrible in this town and all
[41:01] that stuff. Then they're specifically out
[41:03] looking for people because of the recent murder.
[41:06] And stuff it just like they didn't even try to.
[41:09] They just immediately said he, they know he's FBI and they just
[41:13] immediately say, oh, he must be crazy now.
[41:15] That might be why they took him away though, 'cause they're
[41:17] trying to cover it up 'cause. Yeah, that's what I was
[41:19] thinking. That's true too.
[41:21] It just didn't make no sense for them to pull up and just be
[41:23] like, OK, we're resting you. So we we open back up on
[41:28] Detective Thompson coming to see Mulder while he's in the big
[41:31] house, and he says he'll go to the DA if Mulder doesn't quit
[41:36] his shenanigans. And Mulder counters by saying,
[41:39] sure, let's go and tell her how you've been withholding
[41:41] evidence, statements about this creature.
[41:44] And I guess I I don't know why I put a comma there.
[41:47] I think I meant to say withholding evidence and
[41:50] statements about this creature, but whatever.
[41:52] Yeah, he says that's why Thompson has his police sweeping
[41:56] the streets. He knows what's out there,
[41:58] Thompson says. He knows there's a perpetrator
[42:00] on the loose, saying whether it's Hannibal the Cannibal or
[42:03] Elmer Fudd, I've got a job to protect people.
[42:06] You imagine Elmer Fudd just I'm hunting people and he's out
[42:10] there with a gun, just I'm gonna shoot your arm off 'cause I
[42:13] mean, what the fuck you mean, maybe it's Elmer Fudd.
[42:16] There's. Bite marks.
[42:17] There's bite marks. It's not that.
[42:20] It's like it's obviously a human who's.
[42:23] Elmer Fudd had tea. You know, that's a good
[42:27] question, I don't think does he? I can picture him in my head,
[42:30] yes. I can picture him in his head,
[42:32] but I can't picture him. In his head, you can picture him
[42:34] in his head. I can't.
[42:37] I know exactly what his self-image is.
[42:42] But yeah, you got to hit. You got to hit him with the old
[42:46] molder season, Scully season. If he ever comes up on you and
[42:50] he'll, he'll just get confused and lay down out of tiredness.
[42:55] But Molder thinks he's doing it to keep tourism and gambling
[42:59] lucrative in this town. Molder says he's seen it and
[43:02] produces the hilarious Keith Haring drawing, and Thompson
[43:06] laughs at the drawing and says Molder is wasting his time and
[43:10] impeding the case. Very genuine laughter.
[43:15] That might have been the first moment he saw that drawing.
[43:19] Yeah. He genuinely goes like it's very
[43:22] like, it feels like a very real laugh, like he just saw that was
[43:26] like this really. The director saying hey man,
[43:29] wait till you see this. They're like, you know, they
[43:31] probably what they probably said what this is going to be like,
[43:34] be careful. This is going to be like a
[43:36] scary, legit drawing of a monster.
[43:38] It's going to be hideous. It's going to scare you to just
[43:40] just try not to react too strongly to it.
[43:43] And then he sees it and he just laughs his ass off.
[43:45] That's probably what happened. It's really good.
[43:47] It's like in a movie where they're like, man, this cave is
[43:50] protected by a large scary lion. And they go, it's just time,
[43:53] Kitty cat. He's just purring.
[43:56] Yeah, but Thompson tells Molder to go to Africa if he wants a
[44:02] safari, and then he tells him to enjoy his weekend and he exits
[44:06] Molder Cell. Funny thing about Africa,
[44:09] there's a place called Djibouti. Djibouti Africa Djibouti.
[44:15] It starts with AD. The D is silent.
[44:20] That's the D. We all just learned from my mom
[44:23] that the D is silent in Djibouti.
[44:28] Didn't even know it was there, that's crazy.
[44:30] If there's AD in Djibouti, it's a silent one.
[44:36] Oh my gosh. But Scully shows up after her
[44:41] terrifying scene with the children and and the weird
[44:44] divorced dad to work at the FBI, and she's told immediately that
[44:52] Molder is waiting for her on line 3.
[44:54] And so Scully picks up and asks Molder where he is.
[44:57] He tells her he's in jail over the sound of the man in the cell
[45:00] next to him puking. Yes, lovely.
[45:03] So she has to go get him out, you know, play the responsible
[45:07] pair, part of this pair. Parent was also correct when you
[45:11] almost said that. Responsible parent, yeah,
[45:13] basically. And she ribs them after she gets
[45:17] them out about being locked up in the clink.
[45:19] And then they go to get some food, and while they're getting
[45:23] some food, Mulder is telling Scully that what he's seen while
[45:27] he's scarfing down and. He is scarfing that food down.
[45:31] Oh yeah, he's hungry, man. And he tells her that the
[45:35] creature had graceful movements like a cat and was way too quick
[45:39] for a human. And this is also where he says
[45:42] the charges against him have been dropped, which I don't know
[45:46] why. He's a dangerous man, this
[45:48] molder. Keep him off the streets, I say.
[45:50] What were the charges that they dropped?
[45:52] Yeah, I don't know, being a molder at night.
[45:55] Yeah. Being a molder in public.
[45:57] Going molder mode too hard. Going molder mode in a
[46:00] residential area or in a commercial?
[46:02] Pointing at a rooftop was his crime, I think.
[46:05] You bastard, how could you? Don't come back to Atlantic
[46:09] City. But anyway, Moulder maintains he
[46:13] knows what he saw, even though it might sound crazy.
[46:16] He also doubts the creature is a man eater since it was digging
[46:19] through trash when he found it and it fled when it noticed
[46:22] them. Scully says that ripping a man's
[46:24] arm off isn't defensive. She says she has to go back to
[46:28] DC for a date and. He does give her a look like.
[46:37] The first thing he says is can you cancel it?
[46:40] He's like, yeah. He's like, please don't go, I'm
[46:43] all alone. And she says, unlike you,
[46:46] Mulder, I want to have a life outside the FBI or something
[46:50] like that. And and he which?
[46:52] Is so true he don't need nothing.
[46:53] No, he counters that by saying I have a life with a straight face
[46:58] and and he also says it while he's ravenously eating breakfast
[47:01] while rocking a 5:00 shadow. Yes, definitely has a life.
[47:05] Checks all the boxes. Yep.
[47:07] Totally. She laughs at him and tells him
[47:09] there's someone she wants him to meet on the way home.
[47:12] So they go to the University of Maryland and speak to a
[47:14] professor guy. Her professor.
[47:17] Yeah, her professor used to. When she went to school there at
[47:19] some point, yeah. And he talks to them about how
[47:23] humans are destructive to the well-being of other species due
[47:26] to us being on top of the food chain and territorial.
[47:30] Side note, rock an awesome ponytail.
[47:33] Oh for sure, that ponytail. He's got the bald on top, long
[47:37] hair on the sides and back thing going on with the ponytail in
[47:40] the back. It's kind of like a but it's
[47:42] kind of like one of those ponytails.
[47:44] It's a very slight one, like it curls around on itself.
[47:47] It's not very long at all. No, it's probably like, it's
[47:49] probably like 3 to 4 inches. Yeah, 5.
[47:52] But then it's a little curly, so it looks shorter.
[47:54] Yeah, but it's like it's it's a very he's rocking it.
[47:56] He's like, Yep, I'm not, I'm not going bald.
[47:59] I'm I have a ponytail. And Mulder asked what would
[48:02] happen if someone entered the food chain above us.
[48:05] Which what? Yeah, how could they?
[48:07] Yeah, we are literally. He does explain that we are peak
[48:10] and that like there's no other. There's no way anything on earth
[48:14] can overpower us on the food chain.
[48:17] Yeah, basically we. We last to eat.
[48:21] So he basically says we're we're too smart to be replaced on top
[48:25] of the food chain and giving what am I trying to say here?
[48:30] Unless we were given like some kind of life force, that's not.
[48:34] What the fuck am I trying to say?
[48:36] I'm not sure what you're trying to say.
[48:37] I was going to say like, it's like, yeah, one-on-one, you're
[48:40] not going to win against a lion, but we have the brains to have a
[48:45] gun and stuff. I just reworded the sentence in
[48:48] my head. Given our intelligence, we will
[48:50] most likely live out our days as rulers of the world, barring
[48:55] some alien life form coming down and screwing it up.
[48:58] Yeah, so. Alien.
[48:59] So foreign, foreign or alien entity of some sorts.
[49:02] The only thing that could possibly move, move us off the
[49:05] top of the food chain. Yeah, but.
[49:07] And that's, I guess so that's what he's thinking.
[49:10] And then do you have the next thing they say?
[49:12] Yeah, Molder posits that if someone were to revert to their
[49:15] base carnivorous animal, Neanderthal instincts, he would
[49:19] occupy a space above us in the food chain.
[49:21] Yeah, and the professor concurs, joking that all one would have
[49:25] to do is wait outside a fast food place for easy pickings.
[49:29] Yeah, because like you said, we likes to eat.
[49:33] We likes to eat, but even in situations like that where a
[49:38] human was raised among and by animals, for example,
[49:41] cannibalism is exceedingly rare. Yeah, like cannibalism.
[49:45] There's like a few known tribes in like, yeah, South America and
[49:50] I think maybe Africa that have some known cannibalistic
[49:55] rituals, but it's not like they eat people all the time.
[49:59] They're not like reverting to their base stuff, even though we
[50:02] would consider them primitive. They're.
[50:03] Yeah, they're doing. It's more like tradition type
[50:05] stuff. Not that I think it's OK, for
[50:07] the record. It's weird and terrible,
[50:09] obviously. But I'm saying it's not like
[50:11] they just all eat people all the time like we eat beef.
[50:15] It's not like that. It's.
[50:17] Do y'all think that this big old person would be considered
[50:20] something like a Bigfoot? It's not Harry.
[50:22] But yeah, that's kind of what I guess it is in the end, is kind
[50:26] of like a Bigfoot type deal. Yeah, because I'm not really
[50:29] getting at because I'm not. Really clear on what a Jersey
[50:32] Devil is necessarily. It might just be an East Coast
[50:34] Bigfoot is what. Yeah, that's what they say.
[50:36] Yeah. Yeah.
[50:36] Did we ever see the man that they killed?
[50:39] The, the, the we never get to see him, do we?
[50:41] We only get to. See, but you know, you have you
[50:43] seen 28 years later. Yes, but I you know how have a
[50:47] good. Memory.
[50:47] Well, the alpha in that one. That's who I picture the guy
[50:50] looking like. Yeah, like just big long hair,
[50:55] big, muscular, lots of hair type guy.
[51:00] But oh wait, you're still on the scene with them talking, right?
[51:02] Because I got something to say at some point.
[51:04] Well, this is about to be the end, so go ahead and say.
[51:06] It it's it's at the end. OK.
[51:07] And Molder still clings to the possibility of something like
[51:10] that out there in the New Jersey woods.
[51:13] Yeah, so that's what so he says to him.
[51:14] He says so like, would it be possible then?
[51:19] And in the the professor is I think care of what he says
[51:23] exactly. But it basically he says, yeah,
[51:26] I guess technically it's kind of possible basically.
[51:30] And and I think it's what I said before too.
[51:32] I think it's so interesting how that moment Mulder hears that
[51:36] from the professor and is like, oh, it's possible.
[51:41] Yeah. Scully hears that and she's
[51:43] like, OK, it's not possible. Yeah.
[51:46] To like the juxtaposition of their different viewpoints on
[51:49] it. Like she hears that and she's
[51:50] like, OK, well this is stupid then, because this is obviously
[51:53] not. This isn't going to work.
[51:54] This isn't true or whatever. But Mulder is like, oh, he
[51:57] didn't say it was impossible. That's his most.
[52:00] Yeah, he basically didn't say it was impossible, but he didn't
[52:03] say it was true either. Yeah, he didn't say that it was.
[52:07] Yeah, y'all ever heard of Sax Squatch?
[52:10] Yes, it's the guy that dresses up like a Sasquatch and plays
[52:14] the sax. Yeah, he plays the saxophone and
[52:16] I just all you hard die hard Bigfoot people out there
[52:20] probably already know about him. Our Bigfoot friends, Yeah.
[52:23] Yeah, our Bigfoot friends, which overlapping for sure.
[52:27] Oh, for sure, yeah. Yeah, definitely have some
[52:28] Bigfoot friends here. And probably some friends with
[52:31] big feet. But Mulder is back in the X zone
[52:35] examining photos related to Bigfoot, photos of plaster cast
[52:40] made of footprints and stuff like that.
[52:42] Then we get jump scared by a drawing of a Sasquatch with huge
[52:45] bazooingas. Yes, so this one's got titties.
[52:48] A drawing just like our original.
[52:51] Just like our original drawing that was done by a child or
[52:54] something. Can you can you do that?
[52:58] But in your it's got legs voice. It's got titties.
[53:05] And it's the same drawing as before, but just a different
[53:09] one. And it's got tits now.
[53:11] It's the same drawing though, same style and all that.
[53:14] Yeah, and this is a good point to bring up the tie in product
[53:17] that this episode had. They love their tie in products.
[53:20] Hear about this one? Yeah, they love their tie in
[53:22] products with The X-Files. Basically, along with this
[53:25] episode, they released a set of five VHS where David Duchovny
[53:28] teaches you to draw cryptids with big naturals like Mothman
[53:32] and you got the Loch Ness Monster with titties.
[53:35] All that kind of stuff. Titties.
[53:36] With Boulder. Titties with.
[53:39] That's exactly what it was called.
[53:41] Thank you for jogging my memory. So you didn't know?
[53:43] I must it must have been the back of my mind so.
[53:45] It's one of those things that you just scratch and then, you
[53:47] know, like a scratch and sniff, but with a memory.
[53:50] Yeah, what the fuck did I just say?
[53:53] It's like a scratch and sniff, but a memory.
[53:54] You got to put that on a. On a T-shirt or T-shirt or
[53:58] something. The bumper sticker.
[54:01] But Molder stares really hard at the drawing just to make sure of
[54:05] what he's seeing. He's a little bit flabbergasted
[54:07] at the big naturals on this puppy too.
[54:09] Yeah, they are very just. I mean, it's really just two
[54:14] sideways curve lines, but. Not very detailed.
[54:18] Insinuation is is bazoengas, you know.
[54:23] Yeah, so Scully is looking stunning On this date she's on.
[54:28] Oh yes. White dressing.
[54:30] Get up. Yeah.
[54:30] Oh my. God.
[54:32] She's gorgeous. She got dolled up.
[54:33] She does. She looks.
[54:34] And her hair is in a fancy updo. Yeah, she looks.
[54:37] She looks nice, Yeah. I will say, I will say
[54:40] appreciate this look while you can, cause most of the time it's
[54:43] boxy like pantsuits and Blazers. Yeah.
[54:48] Yeah. But the the dress is like a
[54:51] gorgeous white dress with rose patterns all over.
[54:53] Mom, would you have worn this? Heck yeah, I would have worn
[54:56] that. Yeah, I probably had something
[54:58] similar to it actually. Yeah, that was. 3 tiered mini
[55:02] dress. And by tiered, I mean the skirt.
[55:04] Yeah, 3. 3 little tiers. On you had three skirts on.
[55:08] Yeah, 3 skirts in one. You're like, look man, nothing
[55:10] is too not Protestant press. What's the What's the sect of
[55:14] Christianity where they wear? Presbyterian or something.
[55:17] Oh oh gosh, it's Pentecost. Pentecost, you're like, I'm
[55:21] going to be ultra Pentecost with my three-year old skirts baby.
[55:25] But she's on the date and the dad from earlier that she was at
[55:29] the party with. Who's nice looking but balding?
[55:33] He's OK. He kind of reminded me of your
[55:36] dad, who looks like, oh fuck, Jeff Daniels.
[55:42] Jeff Daniels, I was going to say.
[55:44] Mel's dad looks like Jeff Daniels.
[55:46] Y'all he? Does look a little bit like Jeff
[55:48] Daniels. It's actually a little weird
[55:50] sometimes because he really does look like him quite a bit.
[55:54] Jeff Daniels is, I believe, although I've never seen my dad
[55:58] act. I think Jeff Daniels is probably
[56:00] a better actor. But yeah, this this dad is
[56:04] prevaling on about how much his kids mean to him.
[56:07] And he says Scully will understand if she has kids one
[56:10] day that having a kid changes everything.
[56:13] Scully tells him. That's what they say.
[56:15] Then he starts off by saying maybe some weekend if you're up
[56:19] for it. What?
[56:21] We can go to the beach. Oh, he starts off by saying
[56:25] maybe some weekend if you're up for it.
[56:27] And I thought he was going to say something like, we can go
[56:29] adopting. Oh.
[56:31] My goodness. Because he's just talking about
[56:33] having a kid changes everything. Hey, Scully, how do you feel
[56:35] about if we got a kid right now? But he says, though, that maybe
[56:41] they could take the kids to the beach.
[56:43] And it's, it's funny. It's like, well, slow down, this
[56:45] is the first date, Sir. Yeah, and he implies it twice
[56:48] because they met at a kids birthday party and both of them
[56:50] had children that they knew there or whatever.
[56:52] And it was his kid that was at the party.
[56:55] But for her, it's her godson. It's like one of her old
[56:58] friend's kids. Yeah.
[57:00] So like, and, and this isn't the first time, twice in this
[57:02] conversation he mentioned something about doing something
[57:04] with the with her with the other kid too.
[57:07] And it's like, that's not her kid.
[57:10] It's kind of weird. But hey friend, can I borrow
[57:12] your kid for the day because I need to go on a play date?
[57:16] What the fuck is this man? I guess the two kids might be
[57:18] friends, it's just it seems a little weird.
[57:20] It's. Like my whole existence as a
[57:22] dad. And if that's invalidated, then
[57:23] you can fuck off. And it's like, you know what, I
[57:26] am all for being a good single dad, being a good mom and that
[57:30] being a part of your life and personality.
[57:32] But no matter how many kids or how hard it is, you should try
[57:35] to have your own individual self aside from the fact.
[57:37] That I'm all his personality is dad.
[57:40] He's one of those guys that would have like, I'm Ryan's dad
[57:43] because I think that was his kid's name, Ryan.
[57:45] Yeah, I'm Ryan's dad with that small.
[57:47] Personality, is that it man? What about other things about
[57:49] you that doesn't involve someone else?
[57:51] He's like, well, my kid likes Batman and my kid likes the
[57:54] inside. OK bro, whatever.
[57:56] I'm gonna stop you there. I know when you're single, but
[58:01] they make small talk about their respective work after that.
[58:04] And we cut back to Mulder looking extremely tired and he
[58:07] looks up at the clock and it's 5 till 8:00 PM.
[58:10] Yeah, what a lame. It's almost 8.
[58:12] He's like, oh, I'm so tired, exhausted. 8:00 PM.
[58:15] Oh, that's. Me y'all that's.
[58:17] Me. He's been he's been up all night
[58:19] staring at them big titties. You know he was.
[58:23] You know he was. Oh, God.
[58:27] But he gets a call just then from the park Ranger he spoke to
[58:30] earlier. And the Ranger says he found a
[58:32] body out in the woods today, a long haired male looks like he's
[58:35] been dead for around six or seven months, missing the same
[58:39] tooth he found in that rabbit a while back.
[58:42] And he turned the body over to the coroner's office.
[58:45] And. We checked back in on Scully's
[58:48] romantic quest and she receives a put pager notification and
[58:52] excuses herself to call Mulder. Yes, I used to have a pager.
[58:57] Mom, did you wear a pager? Yes, I did.
[59:02] But was there was is there like a?
[59:04] Is there a crazy pager story like there's something ever
[59:07] like? There's got a pager.
[59:08] You got a notice you do. Codes.
[59:10] You can send codes instead of just a phone number.
[59:13] It can say 411 or 911 or come you know I need you now would be
[59:20] the 911. Yeah.
[59:23] Beep beep. There was a prank.
[59:26] There was an old trick with payphones, wasn't there?
[59:29] You would call somebody, collect and be like, call me.
[59:32] Yeah. When they would call you back,
[59:34] Yeah. It says say your name, you could
[59:36] be like, you only get enough time to say like 1 long name and
[59:40] that's it. So it's not a very long amount
[59:41] of time, but you can get a sentence into that.
[59:45] Yeah, I've done it also and I don't think, but the payphone
[59:51] thing reminds me my ex. There was this payphone in town
[59:54] that was broken and he had to call me from it.
[59:57] Like I think this one time and I think it might have done twice,
[1:00:01] but the one time I remember because it was a lot and the
[1:00:03] phone was broken, he could hear me talking but I couldn't hear
[1:00:08] him talking. But I could hear him press
[1:00:13] buttons like when he pressed it but beep beep, beep, beep.
[1:00:17] So I said OK, one is yes, 2 is, No 3 is.
[1:00:22] You need to ask something else. Because that's irrelevant or
[1:00:25] something like that, right? And we had a whole conversation.
[1:00:28] I figured out where he was, what he was doing, when he was going
[1:00:31] to be home, etcetera, based on him pressing numbers.
[1:00:34] Did he have to put money into that payphone?
[1:00:37] Since I think so, yeah. It was one of the last payphones
[1:00:39] that I'm sure there's no more now.
[1:00:41] I used a payphone in a Walmart one time I think probably to
[1:00:46] call you. Well, you're talking, I'm this
[1:00:47] happened. You're talking 16 plus years
[1:00:54] ago. Yeah, is what I'm talking about.
[1:00:56] Side note, I want to interject here that Dash and I used to go
[1:01:00] to an antique thrift mall place and he walked in there one day
[1:01:06] and there was a Rotary phone and he said how does this thing
[1:01:11] work? I was able to use logic to
[1:01:15] figure it out. And how old were you?
[1:01:17] Probably what, 8? No, I think you were in your
[1:01:22] teens. What?
[1:01:24] I feel like may I was somewhere between 8 years old in my teens
[1:01:29] when the phone incident occurred.
[1:01:30] OK, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
[1:01:33] How old are your teens though? Were you at least 18?
[1:01:38] No, definitely that old. It's a joke.
[1:01:43] But see where? Where was I at?
[1:01:50] Oh, Scully. Yeah.
[1:01:52] Scully gets a pager notification, excuses herself to
[1:01:55] call Mulder, and he picks up and tell Scully they might not be
[1:01:58] looking for a Beast Man after all.
[1:02:00] He's also looking at the Sasquatch with big titties as he
[1:02:04] says this. Yes, staring hardcore at the
[1:02:07] tits. He's pretty sure he knows that
[1:02:08] tits means woman, but Mulder and Scully are together again at the
[1:02:15] coroner's office, where there's no trace of the body the park
[1:02:19] Ranger found. He's here too, along with the
[1:02:21] professor from earlier, and Mulder again suggests that this
[1:02:25] is all being done for tourism purposes, that they're trying to
[1:02:28] keep it quiet, and Mulder says there's a chance that the male
[1:02:31] had a mate. The agents, along with the
[1:02:34] professor and Ranger, who has a tranquilizer rifle with them,
[1:02:38] head out to where Mulder last saw the rooftop runner, hoping
[1:02:41] to capture it alive. They enter an abandoned building
[1:02:45] that's littered with, well, litter.
[1:02:48] Just trash everywhere. Yeah.
[1:02:50] And outside a passing patrol car notices the Park Rangers vehicle
[1:02:54] and stops to investigate what he's doing this far into town.
[1:02:58] And the professor finds something coated in blood while
[1:03:01] he's looking around and he thinks maybe she's she brings
[1:03:05] her kills here or is injured. But I guess the SWAT team has
[1:03:09] arrived now, because they're here.
[1:03:13] And what an escalation because what the fuck?
[1:03:15] They're just like we're gonna call the SWAT team.
[1:03:17] And it's funny because at this time, this is when Mulder and
[1:03:20] Scully are upstairs searching, right?
[1:03:22] Yeah. And the professor or the the
[1:03:24] professor and the Ranger are downstairs.
[1:03:26] Yeah. Where the police come in and
[1:03:29] they're just like what? And, and at this point, if I was
[1:03:32] Mulder and Scully, I would just leave What?
[1:03:36] Yeah, I'm just reading where they do the jump roll.
[1:03:39] They both do the jump. Roll.
[1:03:41] Speaking of, I got something to save for that one, buddy.
[1:03:44] Yeah, but it's, it's, it's funny though, 'cause they're, they're,
[1:03:47] they're, they can see them all the way at the very, very bottom
[1:03:50] and at the very, very top. So they could just get the get
[1:03:52] the fuck out of here, you know what I mean?
[1:03:55] Like these guys mean business. SWAT.
[1:03:58] SWAT. Yeah, that's old.
[1:04:01] That's old. That's overkill.
[1:04:03] Right, exactly. But Molder wonders if the Beast
[1:04:08] Woman is all that different than them, and Scully says that yeah,
[1:04:12] maybe she spends her day shopping.
[1:04:15] And Scully says that we've sent men into space, created
[1:04:19] computers that think quicker than the average, than the human
[1:04:22] mind. The average human mind, I guess.
[1:04:24] I think it's 1000 times, she says.
[1:04:26] Yeah, and Molder says we still overpopulate the planet and
[1:04:30] invent new tech to better kill each other.
[1:04:32] Maybe we're all beasts with big brains.
[1:04:35] Message. Message alert.
[1:04:38] Have you ever seen Don't be a menace to South Central while
[1:04:40] drinking your juice in the hood? No.
[1:04:43] OK, well there's a guy that every time they say something
[1:04:45] poignant and profound, he comes in and says.
[1:04:47] Message. He's a mailman.
[1:04:50] Oh Lord. Message.
[1:04:51] But Scully thinks back to her godson's birthday party in the
[1:04:57] monkey mass and says fuck Mulder.
[1:04:59] Maybe we like are all little primitive primates.
[1:05:03] Oh my, Oh my. God, I'm just joking.
[1:05:04] She doesn't say that, but that's basically a sentiment.
[1:05:07] But just then Molder overhears someone asking about him
[1:05:10] downstairs, and they've court. The SWAT team has cornered the
[1:05:13] professor and they're grilling him, but he doesn't give them
[1:05:16] anything. Well, not the SWAT team, but
[1:05:17] the. The sheriff or whatever.
[1:05:19] Yeah, Detective Thompson. Yeah, that's it.
[1:05:22] And Molder is looking around, trying to see an escape route I
[1:05:27] imagine, and he sees the creature through a dirty window
[1:05:30] running, and he goes after it. And we hilariously cut from a
[1:05:34] man who is definitely not David Duchovny doing a dive roll in
[1:05:37] the sunlight to Scully walking around in the darkened building.
[1:05:41] Yeah. Scully looks outside and sees
[1:05:43] Mulder running around like a confused madman.
[1:05:46] Typical. And she?
[1:05:48] And now Scully does a dive roll, but fuck yeah, it's actually
[1:05:53] Gillian Anderson doing it. She draws her gun at the end of
[1:05:56] the roll like a badass. We, we really, we, we watched it
[1:06:00] like 5 or 6 times, 'cause I was like, Are you sure she did her
[1:06:06] own role? I knew that was her because it
[1:06:08] showed her face so prominently. The person that's not Molder,
[1:06:11] you don't see his face and does like a little crab run?
[1:06:14] Yeah, like his column or something.
[1:06:16] Yeah, but she does like a. And you know what I have to add,
[1:06:21] Angel? She does this in heels.
[1:06:24] Oh. Heck yeah, she's.
[1:06:25] A2 inch little 2 inch FBI heels. Yeah.
[1:06:30] That's. And this is she did her own
[1:06:32] stunts here, but this is before she was pregnant with her first
[1:06:36] kid, so. Because there's a, there's a
[1:06:37] point in the show where you don't see the bottom half of
[1:06:42] Scully a lot, OK, because she's pregnant.
[1:06:46] And then there's like, I think there's like maybe two or three
[1:06:48] episodes where she just happens to be gone, like on a work trip
[1:06:53] for this those episode kind of thing.
[1:06:55] But it works. And this, this badass role she
[1:06:58] does is particularly funny since later in the series she had a
[1:07:02] double that got paid to even run for her sometime.
[1:07:05] Oh my Lord. Yeah, so.
[1:07:06] And we will bring up her stunt double later.
[1:07:09] Maybe she's not a good runner. Maybe not.
[1:07:12] She is tiny and has short little legs.
[1:07:15] She's got to kick them so fast to keep up.
[1:07:16] Maybe she runs like from Scooby-doo characters.
[1:07:19] Oh God, where she's got to get a running start.
[1:07:21] Pitch her head. Pitch.
[1:07:24] I like in cartoons where they start running, but they like
[1:07:26] have to get like their legs revved up and then they start
[1:07:30] running. You know when you're.
[1:07:31] Holding the the brake and the gas in the car and then you let
[1:07:34] off the gas really quick and then.
[1:07:36] Go yeah, you did basically do a burnout with your legs if you're
[1:07:38] a cartoon character, but. It might just be that she can't
[1:07:43] keep up with other people running at normal speed because
[1:07:45] she's got little legs. Yeah, but Molder finally catches
[1:07:49] up to the creature in a damp, dust filled room.
[1:07:51] It jumps on him and knocks him down.
[1:07:54] The creature looms over him for quite a while, with neither of
[1:07:58] them talking or reacting. It's very intimate.
[1:08:02] Yeah, Molder looks like he's having some kind of a moment
[1:08:06] here. Yeah, the.
[1:08:07] Woman's naked. Oh yeah, he's like finally.
[1:08:10] Then big titties. I was advertised.
[1:08:12] And you can't see them, but when you see like an edge of them,
[1:08:18] they're not big. No.
[1:08:20] She's got, she's got itty bittys.
[1:08:22] She's. From running around and
[1:08:24] surviving. Yeah, but she's she's definitely
[1:08:26] very dirty. She's got very dreadlocky mess,
[1:08:31] messy matted hair. And you can tell that whoever
[1:08:35] this actress is, it is actually really pretty.
[1:08:39] Like you can tell you know, she's dirty and stuff and she
[1:08:41] doesn't look great. And we can, we can see
[1:08:43] definitely for sure that it focuses on her face.
[1:08:46] You can see that she's a female. Oh, yeah, for like, this is the
[1:08:49] definitely point where you're like, oh, it's definitely a
[1:08:50] woman. And the primitive woman slowly
[1:08:53] starts to move away, but when Molder tries to sit up, she
[1:08:55] strikes him, and Scully, who is descending the stairs into the
[1:08:59] room, calls out for Molder, causing the primitive woman to
[1:09:02] flee. OK, now you said strikes him.
[1:09:05] We both watch this it it's not really in the we see the injury
[1:09:11] later, which we're going to discuss.
[1:09:13] It's really not clear what she does.
[1:09:15] When you see this happen, it just kind of looks like
[1:09:17] something happens towards him and then it's not happening.
[1:09:20] It's very I, I don't know what he, what she.
[1:09:23] Did what happened? She had to do like a kind of
[1:09:25] like what Tombs was trying to do to Scully in that episode with
[1:09:29] the stretchy guy. You know that one.
[1:09:31] Where you like put your jam your hand in with your fingernails
[1:09:34] first and like dig something out like that kind of thing, but it
[1:09:38] didn't really seem like that's what she did.
[1:09:41] It kind of sucks she. Pawed, Adam.
[1:09:43] Maybe pawed I don't like a cat would or something.
[1:09:45] She must do something 'cause he's quite fucked up.
[1:09:48] But But Scully reaches Mulder, who she notes looks like he
[1:09:52] nearly had his lungs ripped out. OK, nearly had his lungs ripped
[1:09:56] out and continually. Swapped his.
[1:09:59] Thing. Yeah, like that's it.
[1:10:01] And then what do we see later? Like he's bleeding profusely
[1:10:05] pretty bad. No, but they put a little.
[1:10:07] He's not bleeding that bad at all.
[1:10:08] No, but he is bleeding through a shirt later though.
[1:10:11] Later, yeah, but when he's sitting in the ambulance.
[1:10:14] Yeah, it's true and. They put it.
[1:10:15] They put like a. Like a two by two?
[1:10:18] Yeah, like a three. By three bandage on his side.
[1:10:21] It's not, she said. You almost tore your lung out.
[1:10:24] Well, she was just getting there.
[1:10:26] Could have looked bad. They would start.
[1:10:27] Yeah, I guess it just seemed like it was not that bad of an
[1:10:30] injury. Yeah, like he he runs away
[1:10:33] maybe. Scully's just a bad doctor.
[1:10:36] But Mulder looks up at her and says you should have seen her,
[1:10:41] she was beautiful. Oh, brother.
[1:10:45] In love with her. Yeah.
[1:10:49] She's beautiful. And so we cut the outside and
[1:10:53] Mulder is now in an ambulance getting checked out.
[1:10:56] And there's a lot happening here, so bear bear with me.
[1:11:00] Moulder is telling Scully that the woman could have ripped his
[1:11:03] head off, but she didn't see him as a threat.
[1:11:06] Scully isn't listening as she's on the phone.
[1:11:08] She's trying to get federal jurisdiction.
[1:11:10] It's a clusterfuck of questions and statements.
[1:11:14] Just then, Moulder is informed by the Ranger that they have the
[1:11:17] primitive woman cornered in a nearby building.
[1:11:19] He jumps up, ribs be damned. Yeah, be takes off.
[1:11:22] Yeah, go in moulder mode and give a shit how hurt he is.
[1:11:26] But Thompson is here too, unfortunately, and he tells his
[1:11:30] men to follow the primitive woman into the hole she crawled
[1:11:33] into. And Mulder and Scully are
[1:11:36] intercepted by Thompson's men as Thompson tells his men to get
[1:11:39] the agents out of here. Well, I said Thompson so many
[1:11:41] times right there. Here we go again.
[1:11:45] On Thompson's radio we hear Man Down.
[1:11:48] Apparently the primitive woman jumped from the second story and
[1:11:51] is now running into the woods, and Thompson's force goes out
[1:11:56] into the woods with dogs searching for the woman while
[1:11:59] Mulder and Scully grab a ride with the park Ranger and
[1:12:01] professor. And how big is the interior of
[1:12:04] this truck? It's like a Harry Potter tent.
[1:12:06] It's bigger on the inside. How are four of them all sitting
[1:12:10] here? I was like, Scully has to be in
[1:12:12] the professor's lap. Yeah, they're.
[1:12:14] Back in the day, long benches up.
[1:12:17] Yeah, it definitely didn't have a console and the gear shift
[1:12:20] must have been like under the dash like there are sometimes.
[1:12:22] Or yeah, up here, Yeah, one that's down there.
[1:12:25] I mean none of them are very large or fat people at all, but
[1:12:30] like it still seems like a very tight fit.
[1:12:34] Yeah, and the Ranger says he knows these woods and that
[1:12:38] she'll be down by the rock. Which is so, yeah.
[1:12:41] She'll be down by the rocks. You know the rocks.
[1:12:43] These, this forest, this giant National Park.
[1:12:47] Oh, yeah. I think she's going to go to the
[1:12:49] rocks by the by the by the Creek.
[1:12:50] That's where she's going to be. Do you want to elaborate on that
[1:12:54] or anything? Like why do you think she would
[1:12:57] be? Are the rocks shaped or colored
[1:12:59] or anything like what? You know what that was where she
[1:13:03] bathed that that's how we knew he was probably.
[1:13:09] She was dirty. She was dirty, but they spot the
[1:13:13] woman through some branches down below them and the Ranger is
[1:13:16] able to hit her with the tranquilizer rifle.
[1:13:19] The woman yelps and just rips it out and keeps going.
[1:13:22] She's running over a riverbed. Into the forest on the other
[1:13:26] side. Yeah, and there's a funny scene
[1:13:29] here while they're on the bridge, where they're on the
[1:13:32] bridge in the background and then the foreground, Thompson
[1:13:35] steps into frame and just kind of looks off into the distance.
[1:13:38] It's very funny. Yeah, it's one of them shots
[1:13:40] where like he walks into the frame and turns his head and is
[1:13:43] looking and then he starts turning his head and walking
[1:13:46] away. As soon as he starts walking
[1:13:47] away, the camera follows him at that moment.
[1:13:50] And it's one of them. It's it's so hard to explain
[1:13:51] some of them shots that I used to do a lot, It was supposed to
[1:13:54] be like for dramatic effect, but it's a very strange shot.
[1:13:57] Is Vancouver Vancouver's on the East Coast?
[1:14:00] Is it not Vancouver, Canada? Vancouver is on.
[1:14:04] Vancouver's on the West Coast. Are you sure?
[1:14:06] Is right above Washington. It's it's literally in.
[1:14:08] Yeah, I'm sure. Because I thought that they
[1:14:11] switched to the West Coast of the United States because they
[1:14:14] started shooting in LA in like season 7.
[1:14:16] Yeah, but they switched from Canada to the United States.
[1:14:18] OK, because I was gonna say the bridge, the bridge that they're
[1:14:22] on that the agents and the park Ranger and the professor on
[1:14:27] reminded me of Ronettesbridge from Twin Peaks.
[1:14:30] But when she comes walking over after she's beat up in the
[1:14:33] beginning of the series. But isn't that bridge a train
[1:14:35] track? Oh, you know what?
[1:14:37] I think you're right. You're right.
[1:14:39] It is a train track in Twin Peaks.
[1:14:41] It looks similar. But it's, it's a old timey
[1:14:44] wooden bridge, Yeah, bridges that used to be around in the
[1:14:47] 80s and 90s a lot more. And they've all since been
[1:14:50] mostly redone or fixed up since then because.
[1:14:54] Yeah, but they're trying to get down to her and they overhear
[1:14:59] gunshots and they rush the rest of the way down.
[1:15:02] And what they find is Thompson and his men surrounding a guy
[1:15:05] who's bleeding from the shoulder.
[1:15:07] The guy says she tried to take my arm off.
[1:15:10] And they see the woman. She's dead.
[1:15:13] Unfortunately, I. Don't know if you're about to
[1:15:15] say it but someone in the background says she was trying
[1:15:17] to bury herself and then when you see her body she is naked
[1:15:22] but she is just so perfectly covered in leaves that you don't
[1:15:27] see any important stuff. Yeah, the leaves are on her ass
[1:15:30] and by her tit. Yeah.
[1:15:32] Yeah, her, her. Basically the middle part of her
[1:15:34] body is covered in leaves and her feet, arms and head.
[1:15:36] Or not. Yeah, which joke's on them man
[1:15:39] feet content for free in this economy, right?
[1:15:42] Mulder got a deal that day, didn't he?
[1:15:45] That's what they call it, a foot job, you know?
[1:15:47] Yeah, it's a foot job, not a foot hobby or whatever.
[1:15:51] Yeah, something like that, but. Mulder goes over and closes her
[1:15:56] eyes, which is really weird. He just kind of rubs his hand
[1:15:59] over her face and her eyes closed.
[1:16:00] I don't think. That was OK, OK.
[1:16:01] You have you have like medical experience.
[1:16:04] Yeah, OK. This happens in movies all the
[1:16:07] time where they just go like this and they you can tell their
[1:16:11] hand is not touching their eyes like this.
[1:16:14] Like with the fingers touching the eyes, they just kind of
[1:16:17] gently. Does that work?
[1:16:19] I don't think. So you have to like touch the
[1:16:22] eyelids and push them. Because I was thinking maybe if
[1:16:25] like, oh, if like the eyelashes just gently touch the hand,
[1:16:28] maybe that would like the eye would automatically close.
[1:16:32] I don't think so, no. I think it's, I think it's
[1:16:34] bullshit. Yeah, just movie stuff.
[1:16:37] But Molder asks Thompson why he had to kill her, and he replies,
[1:16:42] same reason you kill a rabid animal.
[1:16:44] And Molder walks off with Scully, saying nothing else.
[1:16:49] And we cut back to the X zone where Molder is looking at
[1:16:52] pictures of the the deceased woman before filing them away.
[1:16:55] Is it the is the titty picture there too?
[1:16:58] The drawing in that stack that he's looking at 'cause it's all
[1:17:01] the pictures from the X file I guess.
[1:17:04] Yeah, I guess so it must be. In there, I think.
[1:17:07] I think it's there. No, he probably took that out
[1:17:10] before I took that one home. He's got it on his fridge.
[1:17:14] Is that where? Is that where he jerks off at?
[1:17:17] Don't get the food on, don't get the food on the cum, Don't get
[1:17:20] the cum on the food, don't get the food on the cum either
[1:17:23] either way. Either way, yeah, you're it's
[1:17:25] they're touching it and you don't want them too, so.
[1:17:28] You walk around Molder's house and your feet are just sticking
[1:17:31] to the floor. Crunch, crunch.
[1:17:35] Oh my. God, yeah.
[1:17:36] The 10 second rule doesn't exist in Mulder's house, but Scully
[1:17:41] comes in with the findings from the woman's posthumous exam.
[1:17:44] And you were right. They found fragments of human
[1:17:47] bone in her digestive tract, and she was between 25 and 30 years
[1:17:51] of age. So we were both all right.
[1:17:53] I said in her 30s. You said in her 20s.
[1:17:55] Yeah, somewhere between 20. Five.
[1:17:57] Well, what I was saying, because I looked it up and you guys said
[1:18:01] 25 to 30 because you had said 30 to 35.
[1:18:04] I said 20 to 25. The reason I said 20 to 25 is
[1:18:07] because that first woman was making a guess, saying I would
[1:18:11] guess she would be between 20 and 25.
[1:18:14] She had no reason to guess those numbers.
[1:18:17] It was just her thought on it. But then they couldn't find out
[1:18:20] that she was a little older than that.
[1:18:21] Yeah, and the professor was also allowed to do his own study and
[1:18:25] he found no indication of prehistoric Physiology.
[1:18:29] So she's just. Just a person.
[1:18:31] Her body hurt her. Her physical body is just
[1:18:35] regular human. Yeah, and Scully says she has no
[1:18:39] record of birth or hospital. Say, look, Scully says she has
[1:18:43] no record of birth or hospital stays.
[1:18:45] She's a Jane Doe, and she also has the results of the male
[1:18:49] body. He was around 40.
[1:18:52] Molder says there could be offspring, to which Scully says
[1:18:54] the exam did indicate that it's possible that she gave birth.
[1:18:58] Mulder says she was just protecting your children, that
[1:19:01] when her mate died she had to come out of the woods to provide
[1:19:04] for them. Yeah, she probably had because
[1:19:06] it said that the male had died like 6 or seven months ago is
[1:19:09] how old the body was. So he was the one who went out
[1:19:12] and got food and brought it back for them and they lived out in
[1:19:15] the woods or whatever. And I'm assuming she had like a
[1:19:17] stockpile of like stuff and food for if she needed if he wasn't
[1:19:22] there or whatever. And then eventually six months
[1:19:25] into it, she started having to, well, I guess it was probably a
[1:19:28] little less than six months because this started a few weeks
[1:19:30] before they got there. Yeah.
[1:19:33] But yeah, so she was just she's, she's got a baby, apparently.
[1:19:36] And Scully hears Mulder talking about this stuff.
[1:19:40] Maybe she had kids and she was just protecting her young and
[1:19:42] she's had enough of his shit. And she tells him to go out and
[1:19:45] get a beer, that she'll even cover for him.
[1:19:48] But Mulder being Mulder, he says no.
[1:19:50] Of course he's going to see a man at the Smithsonian and a
[1:19:55] call comes through and it's for Scully.
[1:19:58] Molder answers it though, and when he finds out, he gives her
[1:20:01] the phone and walks out without saying anything.
[1:20:05] And oh God, wouldn't you know it, it's Rob.
[1:20:07] Which I guess I did find out his name The.
[1:20:09] Doctor. Yeah, the.
[1:20:11] Bawling Dr. It's Rob her, which is her date, and he's here to
[1:20:14] rob us of our peace. He invites Scully, her friend
[1:20:20] and her friend's son. Why always that man?
[1:20:23] It's like I met you with your friend and her son.
[1:20:26] If I meet you without them, it's going to go terribly.
[1:20:29] Let's have it on the date. So maybe that's what he's.
[1:20:31] Thinking can't do it. Again, like he he offers to take
[1:20:35] him to Cirque du Soleil, like on a date.
[1:20:38] What the fuck? It's such a weird thing.
[1:20:40] Let's go to the circus, we'll go to the beach, let's bring the
[1:20:42] kids. Like, fuck off, dude.
[1:20:44] Yeah, I guess maybe he can't get away from his kids.
[1:20:47] So to make his kid, like, feel like he's actually having fun,
[1:20:51] there's another kid there. I don't know.
[1:20:53] And he only gets killed the weekend.
[1:20:54] Yeah, what? Fucking do it on a Friday night?
[1:20:57] I don't know. Then Monday night, who knows?
[1:21:00] But anyway, we catch back up with Molder, who's requesting a
[1:21:04] car, and Scully walks up. He asked her who it was on the
[1:21:07] phone and she tells him and he asked if she's going to have
[1:21:10] dinner with him again. She says she doesn't think so,
[1:21:13] and he can barely contain his relief.
[1:21:15] And he says no interest. Yeah, she says.
[1:21:19] Not at this time. Yep.
[1:21:21] Is that what you've written down?
[1:21:23] No, I I didn't write that down, but that's exactly what.
[1:21:25] They say. I remember.
[1:21:27] She tells him she's going with him to the Smithsonian.
[1:21:30] And he has a smug. Smile throughout.
[1:21:32] This right there? He's a smug.
[1:21:34] He, he asks, he, he brings, he brings it back on her.
[1:21:37] He says, do you even have a life?
[1:21:39] And she says if he keeps that up, he'll hurt her like, or
[1:21:43] she'll hurt what? She'll hurt him like the Jersey
[1:21:47] Devil woman. Yeah, he'll hurt her like the I
[1:21:50] have. He'll hurt her.
[1:21:51] I wrote it in my notes backwards, but she says I'll
[1:21:53] hurt you like that beast woman did.
[1:21:56] And this is when he repeats a line from earlier about men not
[1:21:59] being that different from beasts even 8,000,000 years after
[1:22:03] leaving Africa, and Scully lets him out and quips and look who's
[1:22:07] holding the door. And that did when I watched it
[1:22:10] made me tear up a bit because I love their little.
[1:22:12] I love their little rapport they have.
[1:22:14] Their little banters. Yeah, I love it.
[1:22:16] For him. And she said, look who's holding
[1:22:17] the door. And we cut to a father and son
[1:22:21] hiking in the wilderness. And the boy says, dad, did you
[1:22:24] see something down there just now?
[1:22:26] And the man says it was probably nothing and starts to tell his
[1:22:29] son about how his own father used to tell him about the
[1:22:31] Jersey Devil. And we pan down to a hollow they
[1:22:34] just walked over and we see a primitive kid looking out after
[1:22:37] them in wonder. An adorable little kid.
[1:22:42] He's very adorable. Cannot tell if it's a boy or a
[1:22:44] girl. I'm going to guess boy, but it's
[1:22:46] really hard to tell. I guess that kid has survival
[1:22:49] skills considering. How did it get a mate?
[1:22:54] I don't know. You know, that's a good
[1:22:55] question. How did these people?
[1:22:57] They're related, then they're incest.
[1:22:59] Oh yeah. Because there's not a lot of
[1:23:03] them, No, I'm guessing so. And how is he ever going to
[1:23:07] procreate this kid? Maybe.
[1:23:09] Maybe there is a whole Society of them and they live
[1:23:12] underground, and maybe they're judged cannibalistic humanoid
[1:23:16] underground dwellers. Oh my goodness.
[1:23:18] And maybe they were ostracized to the surface.
[1:23:21] Yeah, maybe because they her titties were too big.
[1:23:24] You can't stay here. You can't sit with us.
[1:23:26] What's? It called discommunicated or.
[1:23:29] Like excommunicated. Excommunicated like from the
[1:23:31] church or whatever? Yeah, but like from underground.
[1:23:35] Man, it would suck to be excommunicated from the Catholic
[1:23:37] Church because your yetis were too big.
[1:23:41] Yetis is just what the kids call titties sometime.
[1:23:44] Oh, OK, yeah. I think she probably could have
[1:23:46] figured that out. It rhymes out.
[1:23:48] Loud. So, Mom.
[1:23:52] Yes. Would this episode hook you if
[1:23:55] you were flipping channels? I'm gonna say yes.
[1:23:58] You're gonna say yes? Yes.
[1:23:59] 'Cause even though it you liked it.
[1:24:01] Yeah, I liked it. She liked it.
[1:24:02] It definitely had some rough spots.
[1:24:04] Yeah, I had some. I mean, that's why I was
[1:24:07] laughing. I was.
[1:24:11] Like it definitely had some weird stuff in it.
[1:24:14] It was. It had some weird writing and
[1:24:16] some weird moments, but it was a cute little rapport between them
[1:24:19] thing like you said. Yeah, I if I was flipping
[1:24:23] channels and I stopped on this episode and watched it just out
[1:24:26] of the blue, I'd, if I watched the whole thing, I think it
[1:24:30] would hook me because of their report at the end.
[1:24:32] I'm like, oh man, that's so beautiful right there.
[1:24:34] Would you have made it to the end?
[1:24:35] If I I don't know if I would have made it to the end between
[1:24:38] the, the, the big titty Sasquatch and Molder being
[1:24:42] homeless for a night and just, I don't know, it's kind of a very
[1:24:47] strange X-Files episode. It feels very, I want to say
[1:24:51] purple or yellow. I don't know why it feels
[1:24:54] yellow. It feels.
[1:24:55] Slightly out of place. Yeah, it feels slightly like all
[1:24:57] the. Other episodes are red, blue, or
[1:25:00] yellow, and this one's purple. Yeah, what about new mouth?
[1:25:07] I mean, yeah, I kind of agree with you on that one.
[1:25:09] Like it's if I would have made it to mostly towards the end of
[1:25:12] it, then yeah, for sure. But it's iffy if I would have
[1:25:16] stuck through it. I'll fail you, I'll fail you.
[1:25:18] The opener was definitely intriguing.
[1:25:21] The cold open definitely had a like a oh, what was that?
[1:25:26] I mean, it's called the Jersey Devil, so.
[1:25:29] Yeah. And you know what?
[1:25:31] I have a question. So when you watch these episodes
[1:25:34] back on TV in the 90s, which I don't think you actually did
[1:25:37] these particular ones, but I'm assuming it's at some point you
[1:25:40] watch TV shows in the 90s on TV. So as far as I'm aware, it
[1:25:45] doesn't say the name of the episode in the episode.
[1:25:49] Like it doesn't have a the Jersey Devil.
[1:25:51] No, at any point in any episode. X-Files doesn't do that,
[1:25:54] Correct. Yeah.
[1:25:55] So if you were watching something in the 90s and it came
[1:25:58] on TV, how would you know what it was called?
[1:26:01] Bumpers. I don't know, like TV bumpers.
[1:26:04] Like tonight, Mulder and Scully are gonna find out what's in the
[1:26:09] woods in the Jersey Devil. Oh.
[1:26:12] That kind of thing. Yeah, that's possible.
[1:26:14] And I guess you probably would have had like, a, you know, like
[1:26:17] TV Guide, I'm assuming. Yeah, TV Guide.
[1:26:20] Yeah, it used to be a whole fucking channel before it was a
[1:26:23] channel. I imagine it was a book and then
[1:26:24] it became a channel. You imagine it was a book?
[1:26:27] Yeah, it was a book. No, what I mean is I'm imagine
[1:26:30] it was a book for a while before they turned it into a channel.
[1:26:32] No, it was a book. OK, I'll just say, how old am I
[1:26:35] God? But.
[1:26:37] Yeah, I remember. I, I remember when it used to
[1:26:40] just be the channels and then they like were like, fuck,
[1:26:44] people have the Internet and they can just look it up.
[1:26:46] We'll have, we'll have shows running and then at the bottom
[1:26:49] we'll have like a list of the channels roll scrolling.
[1:26:51] You know they would show weeds. Sometimes they showed weeds.
[1:26:55] Yeah, I remember. Censored episodes, I imagine.
[1:26:58] My tripping was it? Was it Reader's Digest?
[1:27:02] Yeah. Was that the the the thing that
[1:27:05] was with the with the TV schedule in it?
[1:27:08] Was it called Reader's Digest called?
[1:27:10] TV Guide. So there is something that
[1:27:12] you'll appreciate, Mom. So no, it was not called the TV
[1:27:16] Digest or anything like Reader's Digest.
[1:27:18] It's called the Reader's Digest. But in Vanilla Sky, One of his
[1:27:22] most pop, his dad's most popular magazines was the TV Digest.
[1:27:27] Oh OK, well Reader's Digest is a is a book thing.
[1:27:31] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But TV Digest is not.
[1:27:34] OK, I didn't think it was. I know, but I'm just saying
[1:27:36] that's. From vanilla Sky.
[1:27:37] From Vanilla Sky, his dad's most one of his dad's most popular.
[1:27:41] Book so he That's a combination of TV Guide and Reader's Digest.
[1:27:44] Basically, yeah. And also at the end of our
[1:27:49] episodes here, we also like to discuss whether or not the agent
[1:27:52] solved the case. Do you guys, mom, do you think
[1:27:54] they solved the case? Kind of feel like maybe so,
[1:27:58] except for they don't know how these people became like they
[1:28:02] are. Yeah, or what they even are.
[1:28:07] Yeah, maybe that. Yeah.
[1:28:11] I don't know like. I feel like they're human.
[1:28:15] They're just really. But but like.
[1:28:19] Like, yeah, they're like kind of Neanderthal.
[1:28:21] They don't like they've reverted back to their.
[1:28:23] Caveman Day. Yeah, like whoever was saying, I
[1:28:26] think it was Mulder or whatever, but he was talking earlier about
[1:28:30] people who are raised by wolves in the wild.
[1:28:32] Yeah, that kind of thing is a thing that's happened.
[1:28:36] And I think it's, it's similar to that, but it's either
[1:28:39] incestuous or he like kidnapped a kid and raised it and then
[1:28:45] married it one day. Yeah.
[1:28:46] And made it into what he is or something like I don't
[1:28:49] understand how there's two that are a couple.
[1:28:51] Yeah, unless they're brother and sister basically because there's
[1:28:55] not, there's not 2 lineages of that is not at.
[1:28:58] The beginning of time. Or maybe somebody left a he was
[1:29:03] older, so maybe when he was a kid, somebody left a kid, a baby
[1:29:07] out there. Like maybe when it was like 18,
[1:29:09] someone left their three-year old out in the woods and.
[1:29:11] He raised it until. It was all enough to have sex.
[1:29:15] I don't know what to say there. Recreate.
[1:29:20] So I would say they, I mean they, yeah, they, they kind of
[1:29:25] solved it, but not it's a, it's a mixed bag, OK.
[1:29:29] OK, OK. OK.
[1:29:30] With, with, with us, with us thinking about the definition of
[1:29:34] solve and lets this break it down to base.
[1:29:39] Did they find out who was doing the killings?
[1:29:41] Yes. Will the killings continue?
[1:29:44] No. Yes.
[1:29:47] Well, no. Because they didn't figure out
[1:29:49] the kid or find. The kids that might die.
[1:29:52] Well, I think it might only be 1, but it might be more than
[1:29:54] one. But no, that kid was definitely
[1:29:56] old enough to survive out there. He was raised out in the woods,
[1:29:58] man. He knows what he's doing.
[1:30:01] They raised him that way. So like, they figured out who
[1:30:04] was doing the killings, but they didn't figure out how they
[1:30:08] became what they were. And they also did not
[1:30:10] necessarily stop any future killings from happening.
[1:30:14] Yeah. So I would say they didn't
[1:30:16] technically solve. It I mean and they, I guess they
[1:30:18] kind of figured out what they were though, so they kind of.
[1:30:21] But they did though. They did.
[1:30:22] Oh, they figured out physically, yes they are humans, but why are
[1:30:25] they living out in the woods and unable to speak and eating other
[1:30:28] humans? Well, we don't know that they
[1:30:30] can't speak, but we assume that they are probably primitive to
[1:30:34] the point that they don't have language.
[1:30:35] Yeah, we've never. We never saw them speak or make
[1:30:37] sounds. Yeah, well, I don't know.
[1:30:40] I'm not. Even it's a, it's a, it's a,
[1:30:43] it's a halfway between yes and no.
[1:30:44] It's a yo or a Ness. Yeah.
[1:30:47] It's a Ness. It's a Ness.
[1:30:48] It's a Ness I. Feel like a?
[1:30:49] Lot of mess. Is it a Ness or is it a yo?
[1:30:52] It's a Ness. It's a Ness.
[1:30:53] It's a Ness, OK. It's a Nintendo Entertainment
[1:30:57] System, OK. So.
[1:30:59] We also have a running thing that we do in the episodes where
[1:31:03] we discuss what our MVP was from the episode and our MVP can be
[1:31:08] anything, a person and objects. Usually one of those two things,
[1:31:13] I don't know, but it can be whatever you want.
[1:31:15] And whoever the winner is with the most votes at the end of
[1:31:19] this season gets an all expenses paid trip to the moon.
[1:31:23] And. To the backside of the moon
[1:31:25] these days. Oh yeah.
[1:31:27] And if if any of our friends have any MVP suggestions, please
[1:31:32] put them in the comments or. Yeah, whatever. e-mail us.
[1:31:36] We just. Traveled around the backside of
[1:31:38] the moon. We've only seen one side of the
[1:31:40] moon. Oh, yeah, Traveled all the way
[1:31:41] around. That's what they were doing,
[1:31:43] actually, in the NASA mission, the Artemis 2 mission that just
[1:31:46] happened. They were making sure that the
[1:31:47] moon was entirely safe for when we, We have contacted NASA,
[1:31:51] they're working with us and they're making sure it's say for
[1:31:54] whoever is going to go up there, you know?
[1:31:55] Yeah, yeah. They just aged the episode a
[1:31:58] little bit. And Artemis 2 just went around
[1:31:59] the moon like what, a couple of days ago they got back.
[1:32:02] Yeah, yeah. So we're that's, that's what day
[1:32:05] it is. But so mom, who's your MVP this
[1:32:10] episode? Well, my MVP was going to be the
[1:32:12] titties, but I decided to change it to Scully because she did her
[1:32:18] own. She did her own work in that
[1:32:21] role. OK.
[1:32:22] Mom, you're in good company, because that's exactly why I'm
[1:32:25] picking Scully from IMDP this episode.
[1:32:28] And I decided to as well after you showed because I wasn't sure
[1:32:32] my original was going to be the the Ranger.
[1:32:36] Yeah, the Ranger. I really like the Ranger.
[1:32:39] But as we watched her do that dive roll like 6 times in a row
[1:32:43] and I was for sure like, and I looked it up, there's not a
[1:32:46] definitive answer if it was her or not.
[1:32:48] But they did say that in early seasons she did her own stunts
[1:32:51] and until she got pregnant she was doing she definitely did a
[1:32:54] lot more stunts in the first few seasons because it was still a
[1:32:57] new show and she was a young unknown actress.
[1:33:00] Once she was more established, they started having a stunt
[1:33:03] person for her more often. But she said she kept in great
[1:33:06] shape during those times. So when I saw, realized it was
[1:33:09] her, I was like, I mean, yeah, you kind of.
[1:33:12] Yeah, you got to. She handled business with that
[1:33:15] role. Hell yeah.
[1:33:16] And then the way she, like, she's crouched and she like,
[1:33:19] sidesteps with her heels. That is not easy.
[1:33:23] So that means we have a new front runner in the Moon contest
[1:33:27] for MVP. We have Scully in first with
[1:33:30] four points, we have Seth Green in second with three points, and
[1:33:36] we have Mulder and Frank, the old detective from the squeeze
[1:33:40] episode with Tombs in 3rd place with two.
[1:33:44] They're tied do. You think, Seth Greenlaw, we're
[1:33:46] getting more points? You know, I wouldn't put past
[1:33:49] them, but I don't believe so. I want to believe.
[1:33:51] I want to. I was going to say it.
[1:33:55] Oh man, and we have another. Let me make sure of the order.
[1:34:01] Are we still? Are we on damage report?
[1:34:02] I believe we are on the damage report.
[1:34:05] Oh yeah, yes, we're on. I, I had to make sure we are on
[1:34:08] the damage report section of the episode, which is where we tell
[1:34:13] you the damages that the agents accrue over the season and at
[1:34:17] the end of the season we're going to tell you how much their
[1:34:19] individual doctor's bills would be.
[1:34:22] And so. You have fun doing all that
[1:34:26] research. Yeah, well, we we have, we have
[1:34:29] like the Internet, so it's not going to be that hard.
[1:34:32] Just look up how much would this surgery cost to fix this thing
[1:34:35] basically, Yeah. So what do we want to say was
[1:34:38] his damage? I mean large large cut on side.
[1:34:45] With ribs stitches I'd imagine went.
[1:34:48] Down in there some for Scully to think his lung on.
[1:34:52] And then when he was running later, it was bleeding through
[1:34:54] his shirt. Yeah, but it wasn't like crazy,
[1:34:57] crazy blood or just bleeding. And the bandage was, you know, a
[1:35:01] three by three square. Yeah, it wasn't.
[1:35:04] Can we agree that he had stitches though?
[1:35:06] Most likely. Yeah, for sure, for sure.
[1:35:08] Whatever it was, he had to get stitches.
[1:35:10] It could be anywhere from like 6 to like 30 depending if she just
[1:35:14] poked him or if she scratched him with her nails.
[1:35:17] The standard is a 4 by 4 bandage, so if he's got a three
[1:35:20] by three, that's pretty small. It might have been a 4 by 4, I'm
[1:35:25] just guessing a small. It wasn't that big.
[1:35:28] I mean, the palm of my hand. Yeah, like.
[1:35:33] There you go. That size.
[1:35:36] And I guess now the time comes for you to make an episode
[1:35:40] guest. Would you like to know the name
[1:35:43] of the next episode so you can guess about what it is?
[1:35:46] And I will tell you absolutely true things.
[1:35:48] Yes. About the episode.
[1:35:51] What is it? What is it?
[1:35:52] What is? It so the next episode is titled
[1:35:54] Shadows. Shadows.
[1:35:57] Yes. Just makes me think it's going
[1:36:00] to be something about darkness. About darkness.
[1:36:03] I can't think of what. Well, shadow you're I mean, it
[1:36:08] does have to do something about darkness.
[1:36:10] So what happens in the episode of The X-Files titled Shadows is
[1:36:13] Scully heads out solo to the local theater to investigate
[1:36:16] reports of monsters, but it turns out it's just Molder using
[1:36:20] the projector to make shadow puppets on the screen.
[1:36:24] Kind of like the cat when y'all meet.
[1:36:26] You Yeah, Mulder, learned a thing or two from that cat that
[1:36:30] had Ryan Gosling's face on its ass.
[1:36:34] Did you come up with that after we?
[1:36:36] No. Did you come with that before
[1:36:38] that happened? Yeah, That's great.
[1:36:40] Come up with that, the description of the episode
[1:36:43] that's. Really real.
[1:36:43] I mean, I mean, did you, did you remember to write it down?
[1:36:47] Oh yeah. Before or after what we had
[1:36:49] happened to us? Before.
[1:36:52] So I guess with that being said, we only have one more thing to
[1:36:55] do here friends, and that's to ask each other.
[1:36:58] What is one thing that made you happy this week?
[1:37:03] Do you have anything that made you feel a little bit of joy,
[1:37:06] just a little speck of joy in this crazy, chaotic world?
[1:37:10] Well, for me I guess it was getting to learn the crochet
[1:37:17] chain and mastering it and the Slipknot.
[1:37:22] You've been listening to Slip. Look.
[1:37:24] Heck yeah. Wow, my mom's hardcore.
[1:37:29] That's excellent though. Learning to learning to crochet.
[1:37:31] I expect a blanket by Christmas. Oh my gosh, I you know I'm
[1:37:35] working this Christmas. If you did though, I would use
[1:37:38] it all the time. He wouldn't.
[1:37:42] That takes a while though. Yeah, well, I don't know if I
[1:37:44] can have it done, but I'll show you the material and see if you
[1:37:48] I know you're going to like it. I probably would.
[1:37:51] What if you make it? I'll like it either way.
[1:37:52] OK. What about you, Miles?
[1:37:55] What's one thing that made you this happy this week?
[1:37:58] Well, I got to have a nice conversation on the phone with
[1:38:03] my daughter. Yeah.
[1:38:04] And I don't get to talk to her very often.
[1:38:06] She's 18 and doing all that. So that was nice.
[1:38:10] Yeah. It was really nice to get to
[1:38:12] just just have a little regular afternoon chat while doing
[1:38:16] laundry kind of thing. Yeah.
[1:38:19] And well, I mean, I guess we're probably going to talk about it
[1:38:23] on the next episode, but I'm really excited for the weekend.
[1:38:27] Oh yes, we are going to see The Midnight in concert.
[1:38:30] The Midnight is a synth wave, synth pop band that makes
[1:38:35] really, really good music. If you like 80s music, or
[1:38:39] especially if you like synth wave itself, you got to check
[1:38:42] them out. And if you like synth wave and
[1:38:44] you haven't heard of The Midnight, what are you doing?
[1:38:46] Yeah, right. For real.
[1:38:47] You're. All like me, that's what you're
[1:38:49] doing. But I love the 80s.
[1:38:50] I think it's the best decade ever.
[1:38:53] And I was the only one here born then.
[1:38:58] I was spiritually born in the 80s.
[1:38:59] My mom had the idea for me in the 80s.
[1:39:01] Right. I mean he could be an 80s kid
[1:39:04] for sure. Yeah.
[1:39:06] I don't remember much about the 80s.
[1:39:08] I was. I was born at the very end.
[1:39:11] I had a year and a half in the 80s.
[1:39:14] What? What was one thing that made me
[1:39:16] happy? You got to see my smiling.
[1:39:19] Face. Every single day.
[1:39:21] Yeah, I get to hang out with these two weirdos.
[1:39:25] We took my dog to the park again, which she really loves.
[1:39:28] Of course, she got humped on a bunch, which was unfortunate for
[1:39:32] her. Yeah, it was kind of a gang rape
[1:39:33] situation there. It kind of was.
[1:39:35] There was six boy dogs there. Did the end the rounders do
[1:39:39] anything? I mean, some of them, yeah, but
[1:39:41] I mean, they were just the a couple of them were too small to
[1:39:44] do anything. For clarification, our dog is
[1:39:47] fixed and no one entered her. No, it wasn't that bad.
[1:39:51] It wasn't like that. It was like a like a you know,
[1:39:54] they were messing but there was 1 little dog that was so little
[1:39:57] and he just like he was just humping the back of her knee.
[1:40:00] Yeah, he was humping the space between her legs.
[1:40:03] Oh, he thought he was getting something great, though.
[1:40:06] Hell. Yeah, buddy.
[1:40:08] And then the other dog kept doing it backwards, trying to
[1:40:10] the face. Is so bad.
[1:40:13] He was like, I want something else.
[1:40:15] Oh my goodness. But besides that, we went to go
[1:40:19] see Faces of Death with my dad like I mentioned.
[1:40:22] The the movie wasn't the key part of that the.
[1:40:25] No, pretzel was. Yeah, I'm a pretzel person,
[1:40:27] dude. I love pretzels and they have a
[1:40:30] big Bavarian pretzel at the AMC that's like bigger than my head.
[1:40:34] It's 1.5 lbs. Yeah, it is.
[1:40:36] Wow, it's huge. Did you show her the picture?
[1:40:39] I I didn't. We've said it the last time, but
[1:40:41] this time the pictures are better.
[1:40:42] Also, I'm sure my phone turned back on.
[1:40:44] I I took a picture with my hand next to it so you can see how
[1:40:47] massive it was. Thumbs up next to it.
[1:40:49] So that was great for me as a pretzel lover.
[1:40:51] That is an incredible inclusion in their menu.
[1:40:53] And I offered to buy him one on the way out because he finished
[1:40:56] it during the movie. He finished the pretzel.
[1:40:58] Well, I ate some of it too. Yeah, I mean, it's big.
[1:41:01] But I was like, well, you know, we'll buy another one, take it
[1:41:03] home or you can have one for later.
[1:41:05] And I went like, they closed the concessions like this.
[1:41:10] Maybe I'm crazy, maybe this is a Karen moment for me.
[1:41:13] I don't know. But I think it's absolutely
[1:41:15] crazy that the movie theater closes all their stuff down 30
[1:41:18] minutes after the last movie starts.
[1:41:20] At least make it an hour, man. Kind of.
[1:41:22] Crazy. Like if it's a 2 hour movie and
[1:41:25] an hour into it you're like, you know what?
[1:41:27] I feel like some nachos, everything's closed and all the
[1:41:31] drink thingies are all cleaned off, cleaned and turned off
[1:41:34] except for one, but it's not labeled which one's still on.
[1:41:38] So when I went to go do the drink thingy and did that spray
[1:41:40] all over me thing and I told her, she was so irritated that I
[1:41:45] was even talking to her, let alone that I was complaining a
[1:41:49] little bit. I even specifically said I know
[1:41:51] it's not your fault, you don't choose when they close.
[1:41:53] She said yeah, I know. Well, it didn't help that you
[1:41:57] said I'm going to be contacting corporate about this.
[1:41:59] I did not say that. Yes, you did.
[1:42:02] You said. You put your hand on your hip
[1:42:04] and you said, actually I'm going to contact corporate.
[1:42:07] Did I flip my Bob when I said it to?
[1:42:09] Flip your Bob and you chewed your gum.
[1:42:12] Oh, gosh, Did I put the sunglasses on?
[1:42:15] Were you going to say that? Yeah.
[1:42:17] Emotion. I saw you.
[1:42:18] Yeah, this is exactly what I was going to say.
[1:42:21] I guess that's a caring thing. Bob sunglasses, hand on the hip.
[1:42:25] God, I have a manager that does that all the time.
[1:42:27] Puts. Their sides down on her head.
[1:42:29] Yep, sides trap. That were describing me with my
[1:42:32] sunglasses on. I'm gonna have my sidetrack
[1:42:34] person. I've got a Bob though.
[1:42:37] You, you got a Bob. It's your dad.
[1:42:38] Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
[1:42:40] His name is Bob. You've had a Bob since you were
[1:42:42] born? I sure have born with a Bob.
[1:42:45] Oh God, sounds like when? It sounds like a weird Lifetime
[1:42:47] movie. Born with a Bob.
[1:42:51] It's like a medical Bob. It's like a skin Bob.
[1:42:55] You come out looking like a Dick.
[1:43:03] That's one of his favorite things to do.
[1:43:05] That is whenever I get my mom to laugh so hard she almost pees
[1:43:08] herself. All right, well, if you guys
[1:43:11] don't don't have anything else to add, I think I'll let our
[1:43:14] friends get out of here and let you go pee.
[1:43:16] All right, bye. I'm gonna go pee.
[1:43:19] If you made it this far, then you are a friend and thank you
[1:43:24] for listening. Thank you.
[1:43:26] See you later. Bye bye.
[1:43:47] We made this.

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