# Nancy Umeh on Divorce, Building a Cookware Empire & Health Challenges | Dear Ife Series Podcast

An episode of [Diary of A Naija Girl](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1888131074), 26 Feb 2026, 1 h 25 min.

Audio: https://episode.flightcast.com/hteiaqhmgsqb4stykwcmknoh.mp3

Nancy Umeh, a renowned family influencer, sat down on the Dear Ife podcast couch and opened up like never before, speaking about her health challenges that led her to build a thriving cookware business, her relationship with her family, the death threats they received when her sister got divorced, and the painful realities of sexual abuse and incest in families where victims are often not fully supported. It was a powerful, thrilling, and deeply reflective conversation, and now we want to hear your thoughts, so DANG community members over to you in the comments, and do not forget to like, share, and subscribe. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 02:11 Social media community and Facebook growth 06:54 Starting Radiance Cookware and the asthma connection 08:42 Guide to safe cookware (PFOA-free) 09:54 Growing a business via Instagram Stories 15:38 Why Nigerians hide business numbers 17:12 Family dynamics and growing close after loss 19:54 Dealing with social media projection and trolls 26:22 Navigating fertility challenges and miscarriages 27:56 The impact of therapy and safe spaces 34:14 Surrogacy: the decision and legal realities in Nigeria 42:09 The dark side of surrogacy: blackmail and exploitation 45:57 Supporting surrogates and their rights 51:17 Bonding and breastfeeding a surrogate baby 59:22 Marriage and supportive husbands 01:03:45 Financial independence for women 01:11:15 Dear DANG: Dealing with family betrayal 01:15:51 Personal reflections on childhood trauma Want more visual podcasts from DANG? SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/@diaryofanaijagirl #DANG #DiaryofaNaijaGirl #DANGWithIfe About Diary of a Naija Girl Diary of a Naija Girl (DANG) is an online community, founded and managed by Ifedayo Agoro, to inspire women across the world through creative storytelling. Back in 2015, it started as an online diary, sharing the everyday adventures of an anonymous Nigerian woman. Fast forward nine years, and it has become a tribe of incredible women, living their best lives one story at a time. DANG is a safe space for women to be unapologetically themselves, a family that laughs, learns and lifts each other, from Lagos to every corner of the world. About Ifedayo Agoro An entrepreneur, creative writer, content creator, content marketer and media strategist, Ifedayo Agoro is the founder of Diary of a Naija Girl (DANG) and DANG Lifestyle, a premium home and body care production company, which she launched in Nigeria in 2020. Ifedayo is passionate about social responsibility and philanthropy. She sponsors several young residents at Little Saints Orphanage and partners with Lots Charity Foundation, a non-governmental aid organisation. Connect with DANG Online: Like DANG on FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/3xLjCkU Follow DANG on TWITTER: https://bit.ly/4aBgy9I Follow DANG on INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/4ay4Axu Follow DANG on LINKEDIN: https://bit.ly/3JhGpHM

## Transcript

[0:00] Gora had whatever was going on at the time.
[0:04] Shami, that came for you, even after sister.
[0:06] Yes, so Haji has said, wow.
[0:09] Apparently, I can't tell you happy marriage
[0:12] because my sister's own scattered.
[0:15] It must be my fault because I was jealous.
[0:18] I did.
[0:19] Oh, I'm getting desperate.
[0:20] Wow.
[0:21] You wish that you had to laugh at me.
[0:23] I wish you did anything to the content.
[0:25] Me, bloggers, cashed out, I'm talking to all those of dollars.
[0:28] How did you guys, outside of Facebook, deal like genuinely?
[0:33] Outside of the world.
[0:36] How did you like that?
[0:37] I said, I'm more used to waiting the time for that place.
[0:39] And it looks so lovely.
[0:40] I said, go and have a bad day.
[0:41] I don't know, save me.
[0:42] I don't see this person before I go.
[0:44] I saw my sister go through phases of almost wanting to win.
[0:49] That divorce, she called me and she said,
[0:50] I think I'm just going to stop.
[0:58] Hi, everybody.
[1:06] Welcome to another episode of the Dare EFest Series.
[1:09] Here is a safe space for you to bring in your story.
[1:12] And we share with the community members
[1:14] and our amazing guests who are wise.
[1:17] And some of them are being treated, some are not.
[1:19] Or they know somebody who's being treated.
[1:20] But what's most important is that you are not
[1:23] in love with your troubles.
[1:25] There will be somebody who knows something.
[1:27] And hopefully, at the end of all of this,
[1:29] there is a silver lining in your troubles.
[1:32] Today, I have with me the special, the amazing,
[1:38] a community that has self, a champion of fertility stories.
[1:43] She has gone through loss.
[1:45] She has gone through wins.
[1:46] And she's come out on top.
[1:48] The amazing CEO of Radiance Cucoe.
[1:51] Nancy.
[1:52] Thank you.
[1:53] How are you feeling?
[1:55] I'm all right.
[1:56] Thank you for having me.
[1:57] We are happy to have you here.
[1:58] Yes, I'm just.
[1:59] EFest glue is blinding you.
[2:00] Just in case, somebody has told you.
[2:01] Thank you.
[2:02] Thank you.
[2:03] I appreciate you.
[2:04] I appreciate you.
[2:05] I appreciate you.
[2:06] Thank you for having me.
[2:07] There is so much that I want to talk to you about.
[2:08] But I want to start from your amazing community on Facebook.
[2:12] How you share.
[2:13] How you public.
[2:14] You can do it.
[2:15] You just share.
[2:16] You can do it.
[2:17] You can do it.
[2:18] I don't care.
[2:19] Whatever.
[2:20] Okay.
[2:21] So Facebook.
[2:22] It has a brain of its own.
[2:23] Yeah.
[2:24] Facebook is an entirely different social platform.
[2:25] We have much older people there.
[2:26] They have more tools.
[2:27] Much.
[2:28] Yeah.
[2:29] So you have to just, you know, be yourself if you want to grow on that platform.
[2:36] It's not like.
[2:37] So until it's a different ballgame just be creative and that's it.
[2:47] And that's it.
[2:48] You know, you get to be a million.
[2:49] But Facebook, the moment they say it's like,
[2:52] ah, you're a bit different from what you are,
[2:54] your house, how you are, social media,
[2:56] they're like, hmm, that girl is fake.
[2:57] That's the most, the purple hour was fake.
[3:01] She's so fake.
[3:02] So yeah, if you are yourself on Facebook,
[3:04] which you really do well.
[3:06] What's the thing?
[3:07] So people that say Facebook is dead, it's really not.
[3:09] It's not, it's the feeling
[3:11] about the only platform that's, you know,
[3:14] Facebook is well right now.
[3:15] Not YouTube.
[3:16] No, YouTube is.
[3:18] There's a place better than YouTube.
[3:19] Long form content.
[3:21] Yeah.
[3:22] Those well on YouTube.
[3:23] But our style of shop shop, you know,
[3:27] two second video, yeah, that's where to be Facebook.
[3:29] And they have the numbers.
[3:30] The thing of your ads, if you want to run ads,
[3:32] that's the first place to go Facebook.
[3:34] Yeah.
[3:34] So they have the numbers.
[3:36] They have, they have the people basically.
[3:39] And they have the money.
[3:40] Like if you are a creator, you want to do shop shop,
[3:43] you know, 2K, 3K, more.
[3:45] That's where you, that's where you should be.
[3:48] Yeah.
[3:49] I know, I mean, I didn't know before.
[3:51] I used to be like, when is Facebook?
[3:53] I'm not going there.
[3:54] Don't know why I'm doing there.
[3:55] What do you do?
[3:56] And because also, my content seems quite different
[3:58] from what I see on Facebook.
[4:00] Is that just quick, everybody would just
[4:01] put camera on the face and just do whatever.
[4:04] And I felt that's not me.
[4:06] I don't know how to quickly turn on camera
[4:08] when anything is happening.
[4:10] You know, I've been here all day.
[4:11] I've not turned on the camera at one time.
[4:12] Because it doesn't really occur to me to be that way.
[4:16] But I said that that's how Facebook works.
[4:17] And I said that's not me, let me know.
[4:19] So I left, I didn't even bother Facebook.
[4:21] And then I just joined Facebook again.
[4:23] I lost my page at 12K followers.
[4:25] I started a game from zero.
[4:27] And I just realized that.
[4:28] That's how I was talking to you.
[4:30] I was like, I saw it.
[4:31] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was talking about.
[4:34] I didn't know how Facebook would help your business.
[4:37] I know.
[4:38] He's dead, but you're so right.
[4:40] Facebook is not dead at all.
[4:44] I don't know who made those believe that.
[4:45] Well, even through Facebook, the time
[4:48] it was really a true kingdom for now.
[4:50] People say, don't go to Facebook, don't go to Facebook.
[4:52] Don't go to Facebook.
[4:53] And so I believe that I didn't go to Facebook.
[4:55] When I go to pick something from Facebook
[4:57] and bring on Instagram, I'm like, is that what are you doing there?
[5:01] Meantime, Facebook people.
[5:03] But I'm learning now that there is an audience on Facebook
[5:06] that would hear you listen to you.
[5:08] It's the same as TikTok too.
[5:09] That's what I used to think of TikTok.
[5:12] And then when I saw my sister's numbers,
[5:13] we said, I was like, I'm sorry,
[5:15] don't sit me in this line with you.
[5:16] I didn't do it.
[5:17] But really, every platform has.
[5:19] Yeah, they have the old type of, yes.
[5:21] And you know, just have to fit in.
[5:22] Do you think I'm fit in on all types of platforms?
[5:24] Yes, I can actually do all, but, you know, I have my favorite.
[5:29] Yeah.
[5:29] Facebook is one of my favorites.
[5:31] I like Facebook, I like Instagram.
[5:33] Because they were just the ones that we were used to before
[5:36] this whole new ones that are coming out.
[5:38] I know someone who's like a Snapchat champion
[5:40] and trying to get me a Snapchat,
[5:41] like, ooh, that's you could be doing 10k on Snapchat.
[5:44] Please have many.
[5:45] Can we possibly be beyond both?
[5:47] Once you must have Facebook, it's really easy.
[5:50] It's really easy.
[5:51] And I can't share myself into that many platforms.
[5:54] So I like sticking to the ones that I like,
[5:56] you post like directly like, I just posted now an IG.
[6:00] And if I go to Facebook, yeah.
[6:01] So that's like IG Facebook threads, don't I?
[6:05] It's like easy one just store to just buy three meals a day.
[6:09] But then I don't know how to do TikTok and do YouTube.
[6:12] Well, that's pretty much it.
[6:14] Yeah, well done, well done.
[6:16] I always look at know how your cookware
[6:19] is doing so fantastically.
[6:22] Do you think?
[6:23] I know.
[6:24] I know.
[6:25] I don't tell you.
[6:26] Oh, I'm really humble.
[6:26] Yeah, you know it.
[6:28] We were, you take videos of that your warehouse
[6:31] when you take content that I was like,
[6:32] I don't know, I'm not posting any content.
[6:34] I was like, 2020.
[6:36] Which content have you not posted?
[6:37] Do you want like some of this?
[6:38] When did you post it?
[6:39] Do you know that you reposts?
[6:40] You put a post up and you post on like,
[6:42] like, 2020, 2020.
[6:44] Don't even tell me that.
[6:45] I don't post content that I get.
[6:46] Yeah, it's a successful cookware business.
[6:49] Don't even want to have your own needs.
[6:51] You have done well.
[6:52] Yeah.
[6:53] It's hard to get to that.
[6:54] So why did you start that cookware business?
[6:56] Okay, so that long story.
[6:58] So basically, I have asked, very, very bad asthma.
[7:03] You know, well, it's not as bad anymore, thankfully.
[7:07] But that was such a challenge.
[7:10] I lived in the UK for a while.
[7:11] So it was when I was in the UK,
[7:12] I discovered that I'm more,
[7:14] yeah, they cook, I defend, they ain't got that back.
[7:16] I just like steak, I still like steak.
[7:19] I would make my food.
[7:20] And a couple of hours later,
[7:23] I would be so forgetting in my room,
[7:25] so forgetting anywhere.
[7:26] So it was when I was in the UK that,
[7:30] when I was in the UK, I had issues with asthma.
[7:36] I was always going to the NHL.
[7:37] I knew how NHS is, right?
[7:39] Probably the doctor at the time was saying,
[7:40] ah, we need to figure out what's causing this.
[7:43] You know, it's coming every weekend.
[7:45] And I was when I used to cook weekends.
[7:47] So he said, you need to check your pots.
[7:50] And immediately he said, I was like,
[7:51] oh, okay, so I had this Tefau set at the time.
[7:55] I bought from Tesco.
[7:56] And I was like, ah, yeah.
[7:57] I bought half a brand new North stick.
[7:59] And I was like, are you sure you don't have Teflon flu?
[8:02] I was like, what is that?
[8:03] So I know, I'm in North, but I didn't know that.
[8:06] There was anything like Teflon flu.
[8:08] So I said, I'm doing my research.
[8:10] And I was like, okay, let me check this thing.
[8:12] Let me see, if I make my steak this evening,
[8:15] if I cook my acoustic soup or whatever,
[8:17] if I bleach my palm oil,
[8:18] which I stopped doing, by the way,
[8:20] let me see if I'll eventually fall sick this weekend.
[8:23] Almost, and it happened.
[8:24] I went back to AIA and it was like,
[8:27] you think his your pots, I was like, yeah.
[8:28] So he said, I need you to change his stainless steel tonight.
[8:31] Don't use the spots again.
[8:33] And I did.
[8:34] And I cooked.
[8:36] And I was like, I was fine.
[8:37] And I was like, okay.
[8:38] So that's, that's when I say,
[8:40] looking at a typical quiz,
[8:42] P.F.O.A. free.
[8:43] Yes, teacher of teachers.
[8:44] Yes, P.F.A. free.
[8:45] So stainless pots are safe.
[8:47] Yes, okay.
[8:48] That's what he recommended.
[8:50] And then I discovered that,
[8:51] oh, it's cast iron, there's titanium, there's glass.
[8:54] I was like, wow.
[8:55] So I want to say, tell us the safe ones.
[8:57] Yes, so we have stainless steel.
[9:00] We have titanium.
[9:01] We have cast iron.
[9:02] We have glass.
[9:04] Those are the safe ones.
[9:05] Yes, several actually.
[9:06] We have clay, which is what we have in Nigeria.
[9:09] We have clay pots.
[9:10] But, you know, yes, it's achy tickly.
[9:12] Not the one that's steel.
[9:14] Petroleum, don't I?
[9:15] Yes, yes.
[9:16] But we have ceramic.
[9:17] And we also have this green,
[9:18] this new generation green non-stick.
[9:21] That's, you know, we can manage for a while.
[9:23] But that's how I started doing my research.
[9:27] And I bought my first, like we say, in the UK.
[9:30] It was a lot of money.
[9:31] I worked so many shifts for that pot.
[9:33] But I bought, I was like, I like this way.
[9:34] This pot is cooking my yellow fries.
[9:37] So, I said, sharing all my stories,
[9:39] any days of Instagram stories, my stories,
[9:41] those came out.
[9:42] We're like, this your pot is fine, don't I see?
[9:44] How can I get it?
[9:46] Well, I told them the price.
[9:46] I said, yeah, you know, no, thank you.
[9:49] That's the concept.
[9:50] I'm like my sister, I went to the AC4.
[9:53] So eventually, I said, I'm doing research again.
[9:56] I want to sell this thing.
[9:57] How can I sell this kind of pots?
[10:00] Honestly, I did not realize that.
[10:03] I kind of business.
[10:04] Somebody else was cute.
[10:06] That's why.
[10:07] Because it's a lot of work.
[10:10] Yeah.
[10:11] So nobody would accept to do all their pieces for you.
[10:12] Nobody would do it.
[10:12] It's $500.
[10:13] Of course, MLQ was $500 or so.
[10:15] I have to search for someone to help me
[10:18] with my first 50 pieces.
[10:19] So I sold all our people's brands first.
[10:22] So I sold Procook.
[10:23] I sold, you know, a lot of UK brands.
[10:26] I sold Lava, I sold Pyrex.
[10:30] I sold those three brands from the UK at the time.
[10:32] But it was a lot of money shipping.
[10:36] I did groupage from UK.
[10:38] It was still expensive.
[10:40] So eventually, I sold, I went and I figured out, OK.
[10:44] I'm not going to be buying this one.
[10:46] 100 pieces.
[10:47] I took it loan from my husband.
[10:49] Hey, for me, it's $20,000.
[10:51] Thank you, thank you.
[10:52] Yes, so.
[10:53] I was just, I was like, please, just give me this money.
[10:55] Because people really, really want,
[10:57] and I was using my recipes to sell this cookware.
[10:59] So I just had, I had come back to Nigeria
[11:03] when I was actively selling them.
[11:05] I children were really young.
[11:07] So they were winning.
[11:09] So I used to share a lot of healthy recipes
[11:12] to keep them out of the hospital.
[11:13] And that's how I grew radiance cookware on the stories.
[11:17] I wasn't even posting on the feed.
[11:19] It was on my stories, back-to-back shared recipes.
[11:22] You're like, no, you need to get right to book for us.
[11:25] You need to, I said, I need to, I need to, I know,
[11:26] I need to book, it was working.
[11:28] I would go on my stories and post dinner.
[11:31] And I would sell like 80, I'm not joking,
[11:33] I would sell 80 ports by the next morning.
[11:36] And I was then, I was still buying 50, 50 pieces.
[11:39] And we would order into dinner.
[11:41] My next shipmate, I'd say, hey, Joe,
[11:42] I'm here.
[11:44] This is serious.
[11:45] For my stories, I would have, then,
[11:47] thank you, viewers, for the love.
[11:49] So, I'm like, almost, I'm really giving value.
[11:53] This people really trust me.
[11:55] So I should do this.
[11:57] So I took my husband, I don't know.
[11:58] You borrowed me money, yeah.
[12:00] So it lent me 20 key.
[12:02] And that's how I was able to, I could only sell red.
[12:06] And I could only sell,
[12:07] Oh, of course, I'm in M on Kino.
[12:08] I could only sell,
[12:10] five more minutes of red.
[12:10] Five more minutes of blue.
[12:11] Five more minutes of, yeah.
[12:13] I could only sell red.
[12:14] And I could only sell two types of ports.
[12:16] So it was just one port, one front part.
[12:18] People had money too, it's been like one size.
[12:20] And then from then, we came, right now, we have 12 colors.
[12:24] And we have like 17 different items.
[12:27] And we have different sizes of the ass.
[12:29] So that's how we started one color red,
[12:32] because that was the part that I bought.
[12:35] There's something about,
[12:37] like, do you know what's in the same one?
[12:39] As you are using, I know.
[12:40] The same one.
[12:41] So anything you post,
[12:42] you know, there's racial, no, no, no.
[12:44] The one that nothing used in the, exactly.
[12:45] The size, that's the one that the one.
[12:47] There's something about, so it was because
[12:49] my like, the same was red.
[12:50] Yeah.
[12:51] The one that I brought in,
[12:53] I brought, so when I said expanding,
[12:55] I said, bring in all that colors, no.
[12:57] You see that red?
[12:58] You see that?
[12:59] Your best cell, I see the red.
[13:01] Well, Andrea's actually like...
[13:03] Flashing things.
[13:04] Flashing things, so they do.
[13:06] I don't say no.
[13:07] If I buy 10 times, if I do 5,000 red sets,
[13:12] that's 11 piece red sets, 5,000 pieces, 5,000 sets.
[13:17] And I do one thousand of the rest.
[13:18] But I had to finish before the rest.
[13:20] No.
[13:21] I don't know why.
[13:22] I mean, I'm a separate beauty.
[13:25] Nobody shares for that color shape, for red.
[13:27] It's like...
[13:29] That's the story.
[13:30] Red.
[13:31] And it still finishes before everybody.
[13:32] So I'm just like, Andrea's...
[13:34] Why?
[13:35] We like what we like, please.
[13:36] I read parts of, like, say,
[13:40] parts like that.
[13:41] Just look more luxurious.
[13:43] You think?
[13:44] No, not to me.
[13:45] No, no, no.
[13:47] No, no, yes.
[13:48] But I'm not a red person in the kitchen.
[13:50] I like softer colors.
[13:51] Soft and green, you know, things like that.
[13:54] Neutral, what I see that's Nigerians.
[13:56] If you never shout, you never look...
[13:58] Say it's the prop.
[13:59] I also picked the prop.
[14:01] Yes.
[14:02] So I mean, that's understandable.
[14:03] I'm for me as a business person.
[14:04] What do you custom I like?
[14:05] Like, custom I get.
[14:06] I see stuff.
[14:07] So, I don't go to argue with you.
[14:09] I stopped quickly red for four years.
[14:11] They also like to come by other colors.
[14:13] I love that.
[14:14] Did they work?
[14:15] Yeah.
[14:16] It did.
[14:17] Ah, that like...
[14:18] That's it.
[14:19] It's not burgundy.
[14:20] I said, yes, please.
[14:21] Because I have to, of course, like,
[14:23] if she allowed this red red star.
[14:24] Oh, no.
[14:25] But it works.
[14:26] Anyone I want to sell, I use it to cook.
[14:28] Yeah.
[14:29] And that's it.
[14:30] How many years of business now?
[14:31] Eight years.
[14:32] Yeah.
[14:33] How has it grown from...
[14:35] How many staff do you have?
[14:36] How has it grown from there?
[14:37] Ah!
[14:38] So we started off as...
[14:39] It seemed more full.
[14:40] Yeah.
[14:41] So I have one nutrition.
[14:42] I have a doctor having nutrition.
[14:43] At the beginning, it was more of a...
[14:45] Oh, by the spots, because it's healthy.
[14:47] Uh-huh.
[14:48] So we needed people to...
[14:49] I needed people to help me put out the word.
[14:51] So there was only time, you know, all that...
[14:53] People in my field now, that's how we are.
[14:55] They were like, are you...
[14:56] It's realistic.
[14:57] I said, call my chest.
[14:58] My full chest.
[14:59] Yeah.
[15:00] Take my pulse anywhere.
[15:01] Yeah.
[15:02] So I had four people on the team.
[15:05] And we started needing drivers.
[15:08] We started needing CNS.
[15:10] We started...
[15:11] I played like...
[15:12] I started going house managers.
[15:14] Yeah.
[15:15] Well, now we are in lots.
[15:17] Yeah.
[15:18] A lot.
[15:19] I'm not going to give you any number.
[15:20] But we started as a team of four.
[15:22] Why don't you have anything to do now?
[15:23] I will never...
[15:24] No, no, no.
[15:25] I'm afraid of it.
[15:26] We were people.
[15:27] We are pleasant with people.
[15:29] The fact that people would think,
[15:30] Oh, your business have arrived.
[15:31] Or...
[15:32] Because your business have actually arrived.
[15:33] It has arrived.
[15:34] It's still going somewhere.
[15:35] Let it get there.
[15:36] I don't know.
[15:37] Okay.
[15:38] So the reason why a lot of people don't see...
[15:40] Yeah.
[15:41] Stuff is because...
[15:42] And you guys just...
[15:44] size you up.
[15:46] I assume that, you know, just because you've said this.
[15:49] Yeah.
[15:50] You should be worth this.
[15:51] Yeah.
[15:52] So the kind of...
[15:53] Because I'm calculating your money for you.
[15:54] I'm calculating like...
[15:55] You don't know their expenses.
[15:56] You don't know what the...
[15:57] I'm running the business.
[15:58] I don't really like talking.
[15:59] Well, you know what I'm saying.
[16:00] I'm American as...
[16:01] Yeah.
[16:02] You know, your numbers actually work.
[16:04] You know, when you say your numbers,
[16:05] I'm a millionaire in dollars.
[16:07] I'm...
[16:08] It's okay.
[16:09] It's okay.
[16:10] Because somebody really cares.
[16:11] They knew that.
[16:12] It's okay.
[16:13] It's okay.
[16:14] It's okay.
[16:15] In Nigeria, you can...
[16:16] I've actually witnessed...
[16:18] first hand where...
[16:20] my friend spoke about her business and numbers.
[16:23] Yeah.
[16:24] And the very next day...
[16:25] L.I.R.S.
[16:26] F.I.R.S.
[16:27] The next day, she was like...
[16:28] Nancy.
[16:29] Like, you said we can go podcast.
[16:31] Nancy, you said...
[16:32] I said...
[16:33] I said...
[16:34] We will cover the legos for you.
[16:35] Oh, she said...
[16:36] Even things are...
[16:37] They said...
[16:38] They're stopping our containers.
[16:39] They said...
[16:40] So they were like...
[16:41] It was like a witch hunt.
[16:42] Because they held that number.
[16:43] They were like...
[16:44] Yeah.
[16:45] Wow.
[16:46] Yeah.
[16:47] So...
[16:48] That means...
[16:49] I understand that.
[16:50] That's also one of the reasons.
[16:51] I understand that.
[16:52] Apart from that, Nigeria is not...
[16:54] L.I.R.S.
[16:55] We like to...
[16:56] Yeah.
[16:57] Think that we are up here.
[16:58] So you have also to be emotionally...
[16:59] Intelligent.
[17:00] That's okay.
[17:01] Yeah, we're doing...
[17:02] Yeah.
[17:03] But I...
[17:04] I'm still very humble.
[17:05] How is time time, our baby?
[17:06] The old Nigeria's baby.
[17:08] It's fine.
[17:09] Tommy was crying before I came here.
[17:11] I really do admire the closeness
[17:13] that you have with your sisters.
[17:15] Because I know that it's not just about...
[17:16] Both of you are more...
[17:17] You know, out there.
[17:18] It's...
[17:19] It's amazing to see that...
[17:21] If all...
[17:22] Fills, your family will always be there.
[17:24] And it's just so admirable...
[17:26] To see between you and start...
[17:27] But it's also shocking to hear...
[17:30] That you guys will know...
[17:31] You didn't grow up close.
[17:33] Actually...
[17:34] I think it was the death of our mother.
[17:36] Yeah.
[17:37] And...
[17:38] You know...
[17:39] Several circumstances that happened.
[17:41] Recently, that made us just stick together.
[17:44] Yeah.
[17:45] So...
[17:46] Well, we were growing up.
[17:47] It was like...
[17:48] God, well...
[17:49] We're all always fighting.
[17:51] And our parents didn't help.
[17:52] How so?
[17:53] You know, because...
[17:54] I think that it is...
[17:56] The parents' responsibility to actually keep the children close.
[17:59] And we have just one brother.
[18:02] And well, we were growing up.
[18:03] Our youngest brother was the Taliban number.
[18:07] You know what they call the Taliban number?
[18:08] In those days...
[18:10] Well, my father looked for a boy.
[18:12] For a while.
[18:13] So...
[18:14] He finally got his boy.
[18:15] So he was like...
[18:16] Hey, touch your brother.
[18:17] Why are you...
[18:18] I gave you a brother leaving me alone.
[18:19] Don't tell me that.
[18:20] So, also, we had...
[18:21] It is a bit of resistance.
[18:22] And it's like...
[18:23] Well, why are you treating him differently?
[18:24] Why is it getting more close than ours?
[18:26] Why is it...
[18:27] That should have been their own job.
[18:29] To make sure that we don't see that.
[18:30] That should not...
[18:31] Yeah.
[18:32] Yeah.
[18:33] Yeah.
[18:34] They didn't do that.
[18:35] And up till now, we're like...
[18:36] You don't try.
[18:37] And you allow us to fight that much.
[18:40] Because really...
[18:41] You fight with the boy or...
[18:43] You were all fighting our mother.
[18:45] So, at some point in the lab, we came...
[18:47] Wow.
[18:48] But we always had our mother, you know, to draw us clues.
[18:52] She died when we were quite young.
[18:54] I was 12 when she died.
[18:55] And then it...
[18:56] It just...
[18:57] Don't don't stop.
[18:59] Oh, well.
[19:00] Very good.
[19:01] So that's...
[19:02] We have each other.
[19:03] So we have to stick together.
[19:04] And we're also more mature.
[19:06] Yeah.
[19:07] When she...
[19:08] When she left, we were like...
[19:09] Okay.
[19:10] We have to figure out what we're going to eat this night.
[19:12] So what we're going to eat.
[19:13] And that was the first time ever, my eldest study,
[19:15] the time table.
[19:16] They're going to cook today.
[19:17] And then...
[19:18] My youngest sister...
[19:20] I got the dollar prize for you, school potatoes.
[19:24] And that's how we started cooperating with each other.
[19:26] Because my father was like, fix it.
[19:28] I don't know.
[19:29] I'm going to work.
[19:30] People should figure out what you're going to eat.
[19:31] Oh, wow.
[19:32] You...
[19:33] Your period...
[19:34] I don't have money to buy food from my dad.
[19:36] I don't buy food.
[19:37] Even when I'm coming back, I'll bring you...
[19:38] This one...
[19:39] That's how we started cooperating.
[19:41] And before we needed...
[19:42] We came closer.
[19:43] We came closer.
[19:44] And then...
[19:45] Life now...
[19:46] Yeah.
[19:47] We came as basketball.
[19:48] So we had to actually stick together.
[19:50] Together.
[19:51] It's amazing.
[19:52] We're talking one time.
[19:53] I mentioned how...
[19:55] The social media people...
[19:56] When you know...
[19:57] Korah had whatever was going on at the time.
[19:59] The social media came for you.
[20:01] Even as a sister.
[20:02] Yes.
[20:03] Adria has said, wow.
[20:04] And that's because you were supporting your sister.
[20:06] What was the expectation not to support your sister?
[20:08] Yeah.
[20:09] For some reason...
[20:10] For some reason, I think that...
[20:12] Adria has...
[20:13] They just project their own personal lives on people.
[20:17] So...
[20:18] For example, if someone's home is divided...
[20:21] They don't blame the people.
[20:23] They just blame external forces.
[20:25] Is that...
[20:26] Why are you displaying your marriage...
[20:28] When your sister's marriage is in shambles?
[20:30] Like, it's always...
[20:31] You are forward.
[20:32] No, no, no.
[20:33] You were there and your sister...
[20:34] You were blaming you?
[20:36] Yeah.
[20:37] Apparently, I can't have a happy marriage
[20:39] because my sister's own scattered.
[20:42] It must be my fault because I was jealous.
[20:45] I don't know.
[20:46] It's like a really sad projection world.
[20:49] Adria is interesting.
[20:51] You see some comments and you're like, what?
[20:54] Why is she wearing that in front of your husband?
[20:56] She must be...
[20:57] It's projection.
[20:58] I think that...
[20:59] We don't have a lot of...
[21:01] United.
[21:02] Yes, family.
[21:03] United family.
[21:04] It's always like a shock to see.
[21:06] Are you hugging your father?
[21:07] You kissed your father on his head.
[21:09] Jesus!
[21:10] He's like...
[21:11] How?
[21:12] How are you able to...
[21:14] So, I did a video one day where I lifted my father up.
[21:17] They said, hey!
[21:18] It's my Namamoo.
[21:19] It's because the student I do on a special life...
[21:22] That's why it's allowing them to do rubbish to him.
[21:25] They're degrading their father on the internet.
[21:28] I said, oh, Jesus!
[21:30] Adria is a projection.
[21:33] I asked the only conclusion.
[21:35] I do agree that it's a projection.
[21:37] Then you just set your camera like this.
[21:40] And then you say, hey, man, this is the quality.
[21:43] And then the comments will be quite...
[21:46] I had to come out to this end.
[21:48] At that point, so when it started getting death threats...
[21:51] Because it was really messy.
[21:53] You reached that threshold.
[21:55] To me, I've used to do anything to do content.
[21:57] Me.
[21:58] So, we know where our children go to school.
[22:00] By the time you find...
[22:01] I said, I'm on top of divorce.
[22:02] What did you say?
[22:03] I came out to do a video.
[22:04] I came out to do the gym.
[22:06] People helped me track the person.
[22:10] Right now, people are in court because of this divorce.
[22:13] Because of this divorce.
[22:15] They have several police cases.
[22:17] Because of divorce.
[22:20] A lot of times, when people make money
[22:22] blogging about certain things,
[22:24] sometimes they get to emotionally attached.
[22:27] Yes.
[22:28] And they start defaming, they start making up stuff.
[22:31] Before I knew you start hearing things about you,
[22:33] they were like, wait, what?
[22:34] Did that happen?
[22:35] So, yes.
[22:36] That's what happened in this case.
[22:37] People were making a lot of money blogging about the divorce
[22:40] that they didn't know where to draw the line.
[22:42] So they would just wake up and say,
[22:44] ah, that's it.
[22:45] She was trying to seduce him.
[22:47] And because he didn't, you know,
[22:49] that's why she decided to now break the marriage.
[22:52] And then that narrative would just fly.
[22:55] I only platformed like Facebook.
[22:57] Yeah.
[22:58] That was, they got divorced when,
[23:00] when Facebook monetization was $1,000 or $100.
[23:04] So people were hustling for money.
[23:07] Good.
[23:08] People cashed out on that divorce.
[23:09] The things I see on Facebook.
[23:10] I was also open Facebook.
[23:11] I was saying,
[23:12] they do price new jets.
[23:13] But they do jets.
[23:16] Is the video a word of this?
[23:17] I swear to God.
[23:18] Is it doesn't know?
[23:19] You can't wake up and give back to your new baby.
[23:21] One of us will know that.
[23:22] And father divorce.
[23:23] Ha.
[23:24] Everything is money for them.
[23:27] Tell me, this is a lie.
[23:29] Yes.
[23:30] But then comments want to come and say,
[23:32] oh, so nice.
[23:33] I bought up what we need.
[23:34] And they deserve this.
[23:35] Forgo safe.
[23:36] Well, to draw so, just, they like,
[23:38] they thrive on negative news.
[23:40] So at the time,
[23:41] it was a lot of money.
[23:43] The blog has cashed out, like,
[23:45] I'm talking thousands of dollars on that.
[23:47] Because they would sit down,
[23:49] blog about our family.
[23:52] And people would come play every night.
[23:54] I just,
[23:55] they just want to hear the scoop of the divorce.
[23:57] Because when that divorce happened,
[23:59] they was like,
[24:00] oh, the rights.
[24:01] And she had a lot of followers.
[24:03] Yeah.
[24:04] At the time, seven million.
[24:05] So imagine,
[24:07] it was like a racial war.
[24:08] So the Jews were ready to go.
[24:10] The Nigerians were ready to go to war
[24:12] and were like,
[24:13] they really, really stood behind her.
[24:15] They supported her financially.
[24:17] They went back to back,
[24:19] fighting off,
[24:20] all the people.
[24:21] And they were also
[24:23] black people who were,
[24:25] you know,
[24:26] I don't know if it's a jealousy.
[24:27] But they were like,
[24:28] hey, they rescued you from China
[24:31] to America.
[24:32] This is how you pay him back.
[24:34] Look there.
[24:35] So yeah.
[24:36] How did you guys,
[24:38] outside of Facebook deal,
[24:40] like genuinely,
[24:41] outside of the world?
[24:42] How was that?
[24:43] You know,
[24:44] school in the United States.
[24:45] I say, I'm more used to waiting
[24:46] the time for that place.
[24:47] I don't look so lovely.
[24:48] I say, go ahead.
[24:49] I don't know.
[24:50] Save me.
[24:51] I don't see this person before.
[24:52] God please.
[24:53] So the thing is,
[24:54] we have a family group,
[24:55] where we actually share,
[24:57] basically everything that is going on.
[25:00] So,
[25:01] I was not even into social media at all.
[25:04] So,
[25:05] because people were sending him stuff,
[25:08] your daughter is this,
[25:10] your daughter is at the time,
[25:11] we were thinking in a reading church.
[25:13] So, because of that,
[25:14] he actually stopped going to church very well,
[25:16] because people were judging him.
[25:18] First of all,
[25:19] you know,
[25:20] dressed in like this,
[25:21] and then she has to go to go and get divorced.
[25:23] You know,
[25:24] I feel it further.
[25:25] You know, I feel that people of that church.
[25:27] It's basically what he said,
[25:28] people were,
[25:29] you know,
[25:30] telling him in the church.
[25:31] In the church,
[25:32] like, you need to,
[25:33] you need to invite God into your home.
[25:35] Your home is hot.
[25:36] Your home is,
[25:37] you know,
[25:38] that's not a good deal.
[25:39] You know how,
[25:40] people will say something to you without actually saying it.
[25:42] Yeah.
[25:43] And then some people had to go,
[25:44] actually say to him,
[25:45] like,
[25:46] you need to go on first and free,
[25:47] because your children
[25:48] are really discreasing you on the street.
[25:50] You can't even,
[25:51] you don't have to dress it.
[25:52] So, basically,
[25:53] he stopped going to church,
[25:54] that church,
[25:55] for a while.
[25:56] And then,
[25:57] you know,
[25:58] besides Shane,
[25:59] you know, on the group.
[26:00] And I think that group really helped,
[26:02] because we're just talking about somebody without,
[26:04] we just made lights on the situation.
[26:06] Yeah.
[26:07] I'm really bouncing myself on a star block.
[26:08] And that's when I'm like,
[26:09] what I do it takes of.
[26:10] Yeah.
[26:11] That was, that was a huge.
[26:12] Ah.
[26:13] My God,
[26:14] a day, they, everybody just took,
[26:15] I'm so sorry.
[26:16] I'm so sorry.
[26:17] That's the situation.
[26:19] I might have been drugged every day.
[26:20] Everybody does,
[26:21] but we,
[26:22] yeah.
[26:23] It's up to.
[26:24] No, the center guy still.
[26:25] I'm going,
[26:26] at least everybody asked how
[26:27] it seems like they've moved on.
[26:28] At the point when you go into therapy,
[26:31] because, you know,
[26:32] I know you mentioned how therapy helped you,
[26:34] you know.
[26:35] Yes, but there are people, the other things I was going through in my life at the time.
[26:40] So I was having miscarriages a lot at the time.
[26:44] That's all this at the time.
[26:45] Yeah, but it was not because of that.
[26:47] I know, but imagine having it at the same time.
[26:51] Yeah, so yeah, I had to leave at the time.
[26:54] I had to speak to some to the therapist and it was basically because of the miscarriages.
[27:00] And she was just like, that's the unit to stop just stop talking about it for now.
[27:05] Because I was discovered that every time one of my stories,
[27:09] every time I see someone that was going through miscarriage on my time,
[27:11] like, I was just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm like, oh my God.
[27:15] Because I'm like, oh my God.
[27:17] I'm like, I'm crying on days.
[27:20] Wow.
[27:21] Yeah.
[27:22] I don't know what that is.
[27:23] I'll go.
[27:24] I want to look at something for too long.
[27:28] It's a lesson.
[27:29] Every time I go, I hope you're like, she said,
[27:31] no, you don't talk about it again.
[27:33] Just delete any good to your, your explore page.
[27:36] Just do not interested in those things.
[27:38] Yes.
[27:39] Because I snapped at the stuff I made for the first time.
[27:42] And she was like, I know.
[27:44] I know.
[27:45] Everything's okay.
[27:46] I said, hey.
[27:47] You know what?
[27:48] Yeah.
[27:49] How about now this person know about Jesus Christ?
[27:52] No.
[27:53] So that's when I said, okay, let me just speak to someone.
[27:56] What was your thought or what were your thoughts about like,
[28:00] I mean, you said side experience,
[28:02] but going to therapy was, did you blame yourself?
[28:05] Was it?
[28:06] Yeah.
[28:07] So how I was.
[28:08] Because that's the thing that I had to actually do with.
[28:11] If I was thinking that if I had just thought,
[28:13] don't that best control thing that I, that I, I, I, I,
[28:19] I would just go back in time and not.
[28:24] Put that in my heart.
[28:26] Like, I can't replay that in my head every day.
[28:29] I was like, that's it.
[28:30] Don't you do this?
[28:31] So because I, I went to a few clinics in Lagos in Nigeria
[28:35] that just made me feel horrible.
[28:37] Oh, the quality of your eggs.
[28:38] Oh, it's like, oh, you're lying.
[28:40] You shouldn't, you won't be able to carry any tree dust.
[28:42] You don't remember that.
[28:43] You should be telling you that.
[28:44] So because when I go into the hospital, I go in like,
[28:47] hey, now we, we, so they feel like they cannot tell you.
[28:50] Yeah, it's not.
[28:51] You're supposed to know what's going on.
[28:53] So imagine your G, your consultant's gynecologist friend.
[28:56] I mean, when you guys sit down, you're not going to be.
[28:59] Yeah, yeah, you trust it's gone.
[29:01] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[29:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[29:05] I want you to come down by this thing.
[29:07] Good.
[29:08] And they tell you that you trust it's gone.
[29:10] Just forget this thing.
[29:11] I want to tell you already, do you trust it's gone?
[29:13] Did you believe them?
[29:14] You tried a game.
[29:15] Yeah.
[29:16] So the thing is I kept trying because I was like,
[29:18] okay, this time around, I'm going to, I just got to call.
[29:21] I'm going to do this.
[29:22] I can punch her.
[29:23] I'm going to do this relaxation.
[29:24] I'm going to stop eating these.
[29:25] I'm going to remove this from my diet.
[29:27] I try and say, I need everything just before they go.
[29:30] I say, Jesus.
[29:31] It's.
[29:32] And it's like not chemical progress.
[29:34] It's actual miscarriage.
[29:35] One even was up to four months.
[29:37] It's about a half months.
[29:38] So I was just like, ah, ah.
[29:40] And at the time, I'll be gaming with.
[29:42] I'm losing with.
[29:43] I mean, people are like, ah, congratulations.
[29:47] I don't want to go into that.
[29:49] That was what.
[29:50] I don't want to go into that.
[29:51] Made my therapist say.
[29:52] You move it.
[29:53] Stop talking about it.
[29:54] Yes.
[29:55] You move it from it.
[29:56] Don't talk about it again.
[29:58] Because I'll come.
[29:59] I'm like, I'm like, congratulations.
[30:01] Yeah.
[30:02] And I just lost the baby yesterday.
[30:03] And I say, I ask you.
[30:04] I'll ask you down the fat way.
[30:06] Congratulations to you.
[30:08] I'm like, oh, God.
[30:10] I didn't maybe drop the nights before.
[30:12] And this is what they say.
[30:13] You don't know what people are going through.
[30:14] You say a man with gained weight.
[30:16] And the next thing you're seeing, congratulations.
[30:18] Oh.
[30:19] You say your baby, you have a baby look.
[30:22] I can see.
[30:23] There's a way that we might just finish it in the band
[30:25] and go to meet.
[30:26] Well, yeah.
[30:27] You say, you don't know what people are actually going through.
[30:29] And you never say it nice.
[30:30] I say, you know those clothes don't fit.
[30:32] Yeah.
[30:33] Yeah, too fat.
[30:34] Facebook.
[30:35] Facebook.
[30:36] I got a lot of these.
[30:37] Come on.
[30:38] I said, ah, ah.
[30:39] And like, who the, who the auto slice.
[30:42] Hey.
[30:43] You know those clothes don't fit.
[30:44] I said, ah, ah.
[30:45] Now, wow.
[30:46] Hmm.
[30:47] It's okay to have money.
[30:49] We are eating now.
[30:50] This is getting us apart.
[30:51] Look at your wrists.
[30:52] I'm so sorry to interrupt your watching.
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[31:08] What did you learn from therapy?
[31:10] I learned to share in safe spaces only.
[31:14] Mm-hmm.
[31:15] Yeah.
[31:16] That one quickly for me.
[31:17] Mm-hmm.
[31:18] Yes.
[31:19] That's it.
[31:20] It's okay to share.
[31:21] But you have to do safe spaces only.
[31:23] What do you do when you don't share in safe spaces?
[31:25] You just open yourself up to one.
[31:27] That's actually.
[31:28] I would call it bullets.
[31:30] That's what basically how I felt.
[31:32] I feel like Jesus Christ.
[31:33] You go in your story and you say, ah, I'm really sad today.
[31:36] Because that's what social media is about.
[31:38] Sometimes I used to read this.
[31:40] I spoke a lot about my fertility journey.
[31:42] That's how people were.
[31:43] And people who now come and share their own stories.
[31:45] And they will not tell me their own stories.
[31:47] And I'll be more angry.
[31:48] Because I'm just like, why is there any woman going through this?
[31:50] Like, what?
[31:51] I would have both bombs reading people's stories.
[31:53] And I'm like, I'm not supposed to be reading this.
[31:55] This is too much.
[31:56] And I didn't realize that I couldn't take that too much.
[31:59] Too much. Too much for you.
[32:00] Too much for you.
[32:01] Jesus.
[32:02] Too much emotional.
[32:03] What are you calling?
[32:04] I don't want to call it baggage.
[32:05] Yeah.
[32:06] I'll be thinking, oh, yeah, I already had two kids.
[32:09] But then, so it wasn't so bad in people's eyes.
[32:12] And I will not share.
[32:13] I'll be like, I beg of you guys.
[32:15] Please.
[32:16] I already have two children.
[32:17] Listen to this one.
[32:18] They talk.
[32:19] Start watching the trial now.
[32:20] See, right in the back leg.
[32:21] I was in things like that type of leg.
[32:22] No, yeah.
[32:23] No, no, no.
[32:24] No more sharing.
[32:25] So that's basically what she said.
[32:29] Risk assessment.
[32:30] Yes.
[32:31] And sharing safe spaces only for now until you give that.
[32:36] So I think right now, I'm just saying, I'm blood propped up.
[32:40] Yeah.
[32:41] I have enough blood proof.
[32:42] So basically, now I don't sound like I'm going to get out of work.
[32:46] No, that's block.
[32:47] Whatever.
[32:48] What does this happen?
[32:49] Hey.
[32:50] Yeah.
[32:51] That's how it is.
[32:52] You get to the point where you have that blood.
[32:54] Yeah.
[32:55] I mean, if you are watching me there a lot,
[32:57] you need to have it at some point in your life.
[32:59] Every day you cry.
[33:00] I think I grew my life after this supposed thing.
[33:03] I was like, oh, wow.
[33:04] Someone tried to use my children's lives.
[33:06] And I'm smiling.
[33:07] Oh, my God.
[33:08] I don't know.
[33:09] Okay.
[33:10] Again, I'm not a parent.
[33:11] But I think my child's life.
[33:13] No.
[33:14] I don't go a really, really long way for me, you know.
[33:17] Yeah.
[33:18] But I just give you what I've been to.
[33:19] So show me there.
[33:20] I just feel like I think about what my therapist said was like,
[33:24] Nancy, the person that touched this.
[33:26] Yeah.
[33:27] She just reached it's in her mouth.
[33:28] She went to the light.
[33:29] She just pulled.
[33:30] Yeah.
[33:31] She saw your post.
[33:32] And she's having a bad day.
[33:33] She's like, ah, I need to afloat.
[33:34] Yes.
[33:35] I need to afloat all this while all this venom on somebody.
[33:37] And then she tried to, and she probably went on with that day.
[33:40] She didn't remember.
[33:41] She would not remember.
[33:42] She knew a friend of ours told me that somebody said her a message.
[33:46] But the person, she remembered the person very well.
[33:48] I had to say something about her on her own comments.
[33:50] And she remembered the person that.
[33:52] Remember, the person that I can't remember.
[33:54] And she actually knew the person was in line.
[33:56] She didn't remember when they sealed this thing.
[33:58] Exactly.
[33:59] Sometimes they just, it's crused.
[34:00] It's just, but it's still hateful.
[34:02] But it's just crused for them.
[34:03] And they move on from that.
[34:04] So sometimes that's why it's not going to really, you know.
[34:06] But then you went through the process of your therapist saying,
[34:11] share in safe space only.
[34:13] Then you had your surrogate and you talked about it.
[34:16] No, I had, I had gained blood.
[34:18] After that, it was, because I was like, okay, bring it on.
[34:21] Bring it on.
[34:22] I'm good.
[34:23] So I saw my sister go through phases of, you know,
[34:26] almost wanting to win.
[34:27] That was, she called me and she said, I think I'm just going to stop.
[34:31] You know, all these things is good.
[34:33] She started talking like, I'm like, excuse me.
[34:35] I was on the next flight.
[34:36] There are tough flights to LA.
[34:38] I was like, guys, what's in your door stock now?
[34:40] Yeah.
[34:41] She had no ticket in shower.
[34:42] Oh.
[34:43] And she had also recovered from, you know,
[34:48] she was still breastfeeding heavily.
[34:50] You know, postpartum was dealing with her.
[34:54] Postpartum depression.
[34:55] And then her child was kidnapped.
[34:58] Her breastfeeding in goshed.
[34:59] She didn't see her, her child.
[35:01] She was, we didn't go.
[35:02] She was looking for a child all by LA.
[35:04] And she was not telling me, maybe I should just stop.
[35:07] You know, I said, wait.
[35:08] This is like, you will go and buff.
[35:09] I'm going to brush your face.
[35:10] Come back.
[35:11] That's when I had tough life.
[35:12] I said, no, no, no.
[35:13] It's when I was talking like, go around.
[35:16] That's what happens when we like,
[35:19] it's actually not like social media.
[35:20] Because on social media, I have a like, oh my god.
[35:23] Girl, you look good.
[35:24] Look at you postpartum.
[35:25] But real life shows like going through a lot.
[35:28] And so I don't think the Andreas realized how much, you know,
[35:31] hurtful words.
[35:32] Yeah.
[35:33] Can actually.
[35:34] Yeah.
[35:35] That's what I'm saying.
[35:36] And that's when you know decided that I will say something.
[35:38] Because you knew at the time that you were already, you know, strong.
[35:41] I said, oh, I'm having surrogacy.
[35:43] I've done surrogacy.
[35:44] And this is how time came to me.
[35:46] I was actually, I was ashamed of my students a lot.
[35:48] And I felt like a lot of people were giving me really good feedback.
[35:52] That would actually make my day.
[35:54] And, you know, they'll tell me.
[35:56] I said, I'm taking this right.
[35:57] I mean, if you see, it's like period is back.
[35:59] Oh, my god.
[36:00] That's the thank you.
[36:01] So what people were actually really benefiting from me sharing.
[36:05] And so when I said to a few people that's, this is the route I'm going to take.
[36:10] This is how I'm going to go about it.
[36:12] They were like, ah, I'm going to be a prosthesis.
[36:15] It's like sending me links to Amazon sending me.
[36:18] And I said, no, actually, no.
[36:22] Everybody's going to hear it.
[36:24] That's why you want it to hide it.
[36:26] Why?
[36:27] Why would you tell it?
[36:29] But it was like, what would you do that?
[36:32] She's so busy.
[36:34] She'll be bullied.
[36:36] I said, out of many mothers.
[36:39] I said, I'm going to be bullied.
[36:41] Hey, I can't, I don't know.
[36:43] No, no, no.
[36:44] This one's not the one you were sharing.
[36:45] This is going to be, it's going to bring the internet.
[36:48] Somebody else is right there.
[36:50] I'm going to share it because somebody told me to go and buy prosthesis.
[36:53] That's what I said.
[36:54] I'm going to share it.
[36:55] How many sets will you buy?
[36:57] They actually sent me three months, five months, seven months, nine months.
[37:00] I said that's what I'm saying.
[37:02] It's a set of, this thing, you know, to fake it to make it real thing.
[37:08] You're not able to open your belly outside, though.
[37:11] Because if you're at your skin tone, it can be a crop top.
[37:14] Not in the upper.
[37:15] Every time I see those hyper-realistic bellies.
[37:18] Oh, yeah.
[37:19] And because I feel like those ones, even try and do make up to make, you know,
[37:22] put that thing in the middle.
[37:23] They have hyper-realistic everything.
[37:25] My husband made mannequins for years.
[37:28] Yeah, I remember.
[37:29] So I really showed me the link.
[37:32] I said, ah, so we are, you know, two thousand dollars.
[37:34] I said, a thousand dollars.
[37:35] I'm going to buy sets of five bumps.
[37:37] Two lambs.
[37:38] Wow.
[37:39] I'm going to share it.
[37:40] Anybody else will buy it.
[37:41] So that's what I'm just like, you know what?
[37:44] If people actually go through all this.
[37:46] Yeah.
[37:47] And they can't even come out.
[37:48] Yeah.
[37:49] Yeah.
[37:50] Yeah.
[37:51] Yeah.
[37:52] Yeah.
[37:53] Yeah.
[37:54] Yeah.
[37:55] Yeah.
[37:56] Yeah.
[37:57] Yeah.
[37:58] Yeah.
[37:59] Yeah.
[38:00] Yeah.
[38:01] Yeah.
[38:02] Yeah.
[38:03] Yeah.
[38:04] Yeah.
[38:05] Yeah.
[38:06] Yeah.
[38:07] And then I was not feeling bad.
[38:08] But it was just like a mix of the good and the bad.
[38:13] And it wasn't until after that divorce and the saga and everything
[38:17] that happened that I grew this kind of thick skin.
[38:19] I was actually not worried anymore.
[38:20] I was like, what happened?
[38:21] Did you, but I can't remember if you said it during or after during the process.
[38:27] I said, I hinted during the process.
[38:29] Yes.
[38:30] I just, I just, maybe it was PTSD for more to miscarriage.
[38:34] Do you know that?
[38:35] Even when she was pregnant.
[38:37] I was just saying, go, please.
[38:39] I'll be here for somebody else.
[38:40] Please.
[38:41] Yes.
[38:42] Please.
[38:43] Nothing shall happen to this baby.
[38:44] And then the agency again.
[38:45] And then of course, it depends on the doctor that treats you.
[38:48] So the doctor, Gunkila, who transferred the embryos and said,
[38:52] that's it.
[38:53] Can you just keep my eyes on this one, please?
[38:55] Please, can you just not tell?
[38:57] Just tell me.
[38:58] Why are you trying to get away?
[38:59] Is this a gag on?
[39:00] I'm like, it's like, yes.
[39:01] I'm gagging you today most of your baby.
[39:04] I said, I will talk a little.
[39:06] I'll talk a little.
[39:07] You know what I'm saying?
[39:08] Okay.
[39:09] Talk on to you.
[39:10] The embryo transfer.
[39:11] Nobody knows me.
[39:12] It was stressful.
[39:13] But I don't talk.
[39:14] I said, I want to go hard too.
[39:15] You tried.
[39:16] You tried your best.
[39:17] I was like, go try it.
[39:18] But it was not just me now.
[39:19] It was me.
[39:20] It was hobby.
[39:21] It was like, you said, you know, I don't know.
[39:23] Please now.
[39:24] Let's just wait.
[39:25] Just in case.
[39:26] I'm like, actually.
[39:28] I don't like that.
[39:29] Just in case.
[39:30] Because maybe for a long time, I was feeling like it was because I was sharing that that.
[39:35] That's something scary that happened.
[39:37] That's something scary that happened.
[39:38] And somehow I believed that at that time, I allowed people to just tell me, no, don't share until.
[39:44] It's not even your own to share.
[39:46] That's what it made me feel like.
[39:48] But I was like, maybe it was good that I listened to.
[39:51] Maybe.
[39:52] Maybe it was good that I listened.
[39:55] Do you have a relationship with the surrogate mom?
[39:58] No.
[39:59] No.
[40:00] Do you think it is healthy or not to have a relationship with the surrogate mom?
[40:05] That question.
[40:06] I really, really wish I could meet her.
[40:09] Just to hug her and to say please, take this.
[40:12] I have a gift somewhere.
[40:13] I don't know how in this world I'm going to.
[40:16] I just know her first name.
[40:17] Yeah.
[40:18] I know her history.
[40:19] Yes.
[40:20] I know how many children she has.
[40:21] I know her infection screening.
[40:23] That's about it.
[40:24] Yeah.
[40:25] Well, you carried my child for me.
[40:26] I have a child because of you.
[40:27] Oh, I bet that I cried.
[40:28] I cried.
[40:29] I said, look.
[40:30] Yes.
[40:31] That's about me.
[40:32] Oh, God.
[40:33] Look at this amazing human that you give to us.
[40:37] It's a gift.
[40:38] And it's sad that so many people that have eventually met their own surrogate mothers have
[40:48] now come out to explain them.
[40:49] Oh, yeah.
[40:50] That's all.
[40:52] Yeah, especially in Nigeria.
[40:54] So if you go through an agency, you'll tell you that you only offer anonymous surrogacy because
[41:00] for legal issues that have come up afterwards.
[41:04] For some reason, especially knowing who the parent is.
[41:08] But what would that be?
[41:09] I mean, you do a surrogate or you decide to be a surrogate mother and you sign this document
[41:16] and you're paid, what would you come back to ask the parents?
[41:21] Well, even after all the legal things have been done.
[41:25] Yeah.
[41:26] So the thing is up to now in many different countries, the best mother is the child's mother,
[41:31] legally.
[41:32] Is that so in Nigeria?
[41:33] In Nigeria, funny enough, there are no laws around surrogacy.
[41:37] Absolutely.
[41:38] We just, everybody just bring your contracts.
[41:43] And then we'll now follow legal states to general health care laws.
[41:48] But ideally, in a country that actually has laws for surrogacy, the surrogate mom can
[41:55] be in the child's life till the child is 18 years old.
[41:59] So I honestly, I personally believe that that's the situation to be in.
[42:06] However, the kind of stories that I've heard.
[42:10] The surrogate mom comes and makes trouble.
[42:13] I've heard a lot.
[42:14] Oh, I have heard one on DANG.
[42:16] Do my routine that the surrogate mom said, I will expose you that you did surrogacy.
[42:21] So this woman did not lie that she used to or she did not mention it.
[42:24] She had a child and she had a child where only people close to her knew.
[42:28] But this surrogate mother said that the other surrogate carrier said,
[42:35] I'm going to tell people that I carried your child.
[42:38] If you don't do this and do that for me.
[42:41] Unless you root in the effect, I don't want to be exposed.
[42:43] But at the same time, I don't want to be blackmailed.
[42:46] What can I do?
[42:47] So yeah, most of the stories out here is a blackmail.
[42:50] One was even kidnapped.
[42:51] One of the children.
[42:52] So I was a very unofficial informer of surrogacy.
[42:56] It was someone who was within the community as she kidnapped the child at two.
[43:01] Until the child out of states.
[43:03] It was crazy because she did ultra-traditional surrogacy.
[43:07] Not gestational.
[43:08] So gestational means, you know, my gametes.
[43:10] Yes.
[43:11] You are my carrier.
[43:12] And the actual one is that you.
[43:14] That one did traditional.
[43:16] Yeah.
[43:17] She killed my carrier baby.
[43:19] When it's out of state, it's not speaking.
[43:22] So yeah, that's the thing.
[43:24] It's still the poverty capital.
[43:26] And sometimes a lot of people we don't know the motive for doing this.
[43:30] And most of it does feel like it's protecting you when they say,
[43:33] OK, just keep it animals.
[43:34] Just keep it animals.
[43:35] Because I've heard the one I heard this year match was someone coming to do,
[43:44] could not be being neutral.
[43:46] So she said, 20 million or University of China.
[43:52] This one was not even traditional surrogacy.
[43:54] Like she had signed the contract.
[43:56] She had done everything as she said that she was held captive.
[44:01] And they kidnapped her.
[44:03] So, you know, they want.
[44:06] 10 million.
[44:07] So that they can't release her to come out and have their measures.
[44:10] And then it happened twice in one pregnancy.
[44:12] So it's not twice.
[44:14] She knew who she was carrying for.
[44:17] And it wasn't like she was on education.
[44:19] This was like a unit like graduates.
[44:21] She was.
[44:22] So it was a big deal.
[44:24] It was a big deal.
[44:25] Like a state.
[44:26] It was a really big deal.
[44:27] But she was.
[44:28] A way.
[44:30] She signed.
[44:31] So eventually she got arrested.
[44:33] And it was now.
[44:35] But she could not have taken twice.
[44:37] So it's six months.
[44:38] And some like it's most.
[44:40] The guy you could drop money before the.
[44:43] Maybe.
[44:44] I'm naive.
[44:45] You know, because I always felt like,
[44:48] you will have the relationship with the.
[44:50] The period.
[44:51] You will do this.
[44:52] I mean, what you're saying now is.
[44:53] Is settling in my mind.
[44:55] But I used to feel like, oh, why?
[44:57] Why?
[44:58] How can somebody carry your baby for you?
[45:00] Can you even pay for it?
[45:01] Enough.
[45:02] You can't.
[45:03] You get.
[45:04] So maybe another way to just.
[45:06] Show some humanity.
[45:08] As well.
[45:09] Talk to them.
[45:10] Relate with them.
[45:11] You know, just let them be in your life for.
[45:13] One thing you have.
[45:14] Good people.
[45:15] Yeah.
[45:16] It's knowing that these women already had their own children.
[45:19] Yeah.
[45:20] So the agency that I used, they don't.
[45:22] They don't use anybody that has less than two children.
[45:25] Cannot be a surrogate mother.
[45:27] And then anyone that is actively married cannot be a surrogate mother.
[45:32] So in that agency, because.
[45:35] Of course, things will happen before you change your policy.
[45:38] That's good.
[45:39] So it's single mothers.
[45:40] Yeah.
[45:41] That we want to help.
[45:42] Yeah.
[45:43] And also would like to benefit.
[45:44] Yeah.
[45:45] Financial.
[45:46] So that's the only thing we've got knowing that.
[45:49] Okay, maybe this may really want to help.
[45:51] Yeah.
[45:52] Maybe they really are good people.
[45:54] Yeah.
[45:55] They are trying to help families like us.
[45:57] I've heard people say, oh, you don't deserve that.
[45:59] Because.
[46:00] People don't seem to have one.
[46:02] You already had to.
[46:03] What if I want to change children in this life?
[46:05] Yeah.
[46:06] What if I want to.
[46:07] My.
[46:08] What do you call it again?
[46:09] It's all my life.
[46:10] It's my life.
[46:11] You don't feel guilty.
[46:12] Yeah.
[46:13] So you said so that you should.
[46:15] Okay.
[46:16] So I don't think it's okay.
[46:17] Okay, watch this.
[46:18] I have to.
[46:19] Yeah.
[46:20] I can't.
[46:21] Or I may have to.
[46:22] Because I don't have to.
[46:24] Yeah.
[46:25] And you know,
[46:26] I mean,
[46:27] there was a long conversation recently about sugarcane being
[46:29] exploitative.
[46:30] You know,
[46:31] do you,
[46:32] what do you think do you believe that okay?
[46:34] So before they even signed the top.
[46:36] The agency.
[46:37] It all boils down to you as a person.
[46:39] How do you want to perceive this sugarcane?
[46:42] think it's my hair, I have the money. So yeah, I'll just go ahead and do it. So that's what I said,
[46:48] but that's not what I meant for going. Yeah, so what? Yeah. A lot of people feel like,
[46:54] God, and I don't even answer people that approach me like that because no, it's not about just
[46:59] your money. You actually have to have in mind, you have to ask about these people, how I did doing,
[47:06] how, what, how I did doing me, you know, then even if you don't meet them, how much are you
[47:13] going to compensate these people? Yes. How, how, how, how well are they going to be taking care of?
[47:19] Those things are very important. And when I heard from the agency that I was using, what do we
[47:23] are going to get? And I saw with my eyes, people crying and saying, so the first thing I went to
[47:29] the agency, I thought to remain in front. Ma, please help me to beg. But if you do one more time,
[47:34] I swear, I've not done CS before that last CS. If I swear to Almighty God, they should allow me to do
[47:41] because I saw people begging to be sorry, but that's a gain. And it's for them, I'm sorry.
[47:46] They only accept you once because you have, okay, if you do CS, okay, you, you, you, you've helped
[47:52] both twins. Yes, yes. You've rested one year and you want to come back again. No, my sister, no,
[47:58] she was running on the floor. I tried by me. I swear, I have no heart CS before this time.
[48:04] Let me beg her. Let me beg her. When I saw that, I said, okay, they obviously took good care of me,
[48:09] for you to be back here crying and running on the floor. So I asked her, okay, how much they
[48:13] said, ah, even though she had to say, ah, they think that she did last three years. That's what,
[48:20] that's really why I don't tell you know, it's the university now. Because of that, that's why
[48:25] the, so she was saying also I said, ah, if she can just help her now, that's after she finished,
[48:30] she does not do that one now. She will now settle and do that business. I said, okay, so you
[48:34] must, you must think that this is just the financial thing. She said, ah, psychological,
[48:38] she's ready. She's, I said, no, I was telling that, you know, it's not just about the
[48:42] finances. Yes, you're going to get paid, you know, she was crying. So did she allow her,
[48:47] that's what I need, I don't know. Yeah, they are, they say, oh, it's a strategy.
[48:51] But every person, please, please, please, please, I said she was crying.
[48:58] They went to the airport, two of them, the first day I went to her office at the logolo,
[49:03] me sorry, get my dad's. I said, hey, why are they lining the past? I said, that's the same
[49:09] view. If you don't want to have a policy, you do want to please go. Thank you very much,
[49:13] God bless you for your service. So, but you can then agree that poverty also is
[49:18] a reason for many to do that. Because they actually, they get taken, they house them,
[49:24] they feed them premium food. So they're like, take me, feed me. He feed me. Okay. I want,
[49:34] they feel like, I was telling him, I don't think that pregnancy is a risky life. She said,
[49:40] ah, my mother had it's in children, not in dua. This belly that they caught,
[49:44] last day I went to markets, ah, not to do me. I said, my sister, something's going to do you.
[49:50] Because I don't think it's that easy. She was going to say, no, I'm a little bigger. Please,
[49:55] can I have your number? I said, no, no, no, I don't want to tell me that, but he's, ah,
[50:01] he makes sure to take good care of them. So they feel like, wow, I'm just going to have like
[50:05] a nine month holiday. Yes. And get blessed. Some people are blessed. Even without doing
[50:12] service to have pregnancy easy for them. Yes. Some people are like, there's some
[50:17] movement. That's their vision. They have very easy pregnancy. She already had four.
[50:23] Wow. And she was telling me that, ah, I want to have it. I've got many, it's
[50:28] verbal she was saying. I said, you should love it. She should have to be children. They said,
[50:32] they don't want to get my sister up to wait. They're saying if I go through and it's because
[50:37] I have to buy my, if I go through and it up, please now, they will allow me. They will
[50:42] allow me, but this one, they will not take care of me like, yeah. I said, I want to talk to
[50:45] them to allow you. You haven't see us already. They do well. I mean, if they don't have no
[50:50] etiquette, no moral, whatever, they will just take her and, you know, so I'm just very happy
[50:55] that we are talking about it to you and I, because again, there are so many things about
[50:59] surrogacy that I feel like there should be more. I know you talk about their lots,
[51:03] oh, well, as much as you can. I used to be like, yeah, I'm going to say, in those days,
[51:08] those are the other things. Yeah, liberally in that child. Yeah, now liberally had,
[51:12] each one is my surrogate baby. I'm like, how did you connect the time?
[51:19] Ah, okay, yeah. I breastfed. That was the best thing that happened to me. I believe that,
[51:25] if I hadn't breastfed, it might have been harder. It needs to be a disconnect from me.
[51:29] Yeah. As soon as I saw her, I was just like, what, why did you, oh my gosh,
[51:34] hey, she's screaming like that. How the hell am I done? You're going to come down
[51:40] and I'm like, oh, please, I'm screaming my house down. Yeah. And it was like, wow.
[51:46] What did you feel? Like, you know, you had to, you know, yeah, you had to experience it
[51:50] where you did that by yourself. I mean, you got them. In this case, how was it?
[51:56] It was just like, as soon as they put her to my breast, she was like, that's my baby.
[52:02] Yeah. Oh my god. I was crying. I was crying. I was crying. He was like, why are you
[52:12] I can definitely, yeah, that's my baby. Yeah. Because I felt, I felt like I was connected to her.
[52:18] When they will send you every month, every week, they give you updates. So your baby is saying,
[52:22] I said, it's gone. You said, it's anything just as she's doing well. Oh, she's all say.
[52:29] And then you know, I get to see her. I saw that. I saw that. I've been praying for you for
[52:33] that even. I'm like, this is you. Yeah. And then I saw it. They just put her, I saw it.
[52:40] Marie does it. That's my baby. You felt this immediately. There was no difference. It felt like
[52:47] normal, your baby, you had your baby on it. That was it. Yeah. No difference. And I feel like
[52:53] it's because I breastfed. I don't know how I would have felt. I don't know if it would have been
[52:57] the same if I didn't breastfeed. But since then, I don't still be this guy who should get a
[53:02] breastfeed because I saw that. That's my baby. Have you met any mother or spoke to any mother
[53:10] who, you know, did so against it, but did not connect? No. No. I have friends that do not
[53:17] breastfeed or talk about. You know, so they have twins and they're just like, I don't want
[53:21] first of all, I didn't sleep. I didn't have time to remember if I connect on my sister.
[53:26] There's no sleep for the weekend. But you remember that when I went to, I remember that by
[53:33] sleep deprivation. That's what you don't remember that you're connected because actually there's
[53:38] a sense of responsibility that comes with having a child. Even a child is not yours. Actually,
[53:44] you just have to, the more you do for that child, the more connected you feel. I feel like it's
[53:50] just a cheat code. Breastfeeding isn't honestly cheating because I'm just, it's like zero to
[53:56] pun. Yeah. It's like, oh, that's what baby. Yeah. But then if you're not breastfeeding,
[54:03] you have to change a couple of diapers. You are a couple. It doesn't couple. I'm just again,
[54:11] truly, truly happy. I feel like there are platforms as much as possible need to have this conversation
[54:16] because even though, you know, it may not come across as though it's exploitative in some ways,
[54:22] but we also need to understand that surrogacy has two ways. People want to do it. People do it
[54:26] because they need the money. And I cannot really put my foot down to say that, you know, any of them
[54:34] is exploitative if I'm being honest, but I can also say that I see why people would think
[54:39] that is exploitative until maybe you try it and then you see, you know, the joy that some of
[54:44] the people have in doing this and how it also helps their life. Like you said, the woman who
[54:48] went sent a child to university. Yeah. I can imagine what that would do. Oh, she was really
[54:53] excited. She said, ah, so still will be this thing that I do. I can go see the house. But
[55:00] I feel like I'm doing still need that humanity because it's very easy to, you know, to get this
[55:06] industry into it. Yes. Money for hand. You know how transactual things can be. I mean, yeah,
[55:11] we talked about how the people doing this illegally and there are no laws actually.
[55:16] Hmm. Sometimes it's just you bring your lawyer. You bring Cedar sign it sign it sign it sign it
[55:22] sign it. And the surrogate surrogate doesn't have a lawyer. Yeah. And she doesn't know what she
[55:27] sign. She's not even a representative. She doesn't even get a chance to read anything. And
[55:31] people actually that's exploitative. Yes. I definitely guess. Some people actually house just
[55:35] that they don't even call it house. They imprison their surrogates to tears. Definitely
[55:42] you don't like they don't want them out. I read the story that was really heartbreaking. So as I
[55:47] said, sharing more about this, I started hearing stories from actual surrogates mothers who had
[55:52] bad experiences. And they were like, ah, thank God for people like you who are coming out to speak
[55:57] for us. I'm like, oh, I don't have association. They say, ah, I don't want to say it. Oh,
[56:05] I'll be a state. I'm so caring for someone. So something ex somebody is a powerful person's
[56:09] wife. Yeah. She threw us out. Yeah. I mean, my sister she promised to house us. I'm like,
[56:15] who represented you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And because we signed once in after that thing,
[56:20] they now arrested us because I meant to tell somebody. So they said I signed one place. I'm
[56:24] not supposed to talk. Yeah. So basically, they're all right. So I just feel like you don't have
[56:28] you don't have right. No, the lady we helped in the community who did who carried big twins
[56:34] for a couple. And the couple in the middle of that abandoned her. They stopped speaking her calls.
[56:40] She didn't do it right because the hospital that she used, they didn't do it right. We had to
[56:46] take it up. I was paying for her hospital bills for a long time. We now have to send a lawyer
[56:53] to that hospital to say, we were even trying to be nice until I told them that I'm the one doing
[56:58] it. And I'm going to talk about it, mention them of the hospital, mention them of the parents.
[57:01] If they don't start taking responsibility for this girl, they didn't even twins. They didn't even
[57:05] ask her until she went into labor. We paid for her to have see as she was going into. I don't know
[57:11] what she was, she had a high blood pressure in pregnancy, right? So she had to, we had to know,
[57:17] and I told the lawyer, she puts me on the phone with this parents, because I'm going to call them out.
[57:21] Finally, the old band now said, eh, I want to abandon the child with the girl.
[57:28] Oh, did they break up? Did they divorce that now? Very married.
[57:33] Very, very married. They did take the children later, but they wouldn't have the children in the hospital
[57:38] for a while. I'm serious. So that's the belief that they just start out for kids for their own
[57:44] legal representation. So I don't feel like, I agree. And that's what the agencies do. So they are
[57:49] just like the middleman, the advocacy for them, like these are their rights. Actually, they are
[57:54] agencies. Yes, they're supposed to have this much care in doing pregnancy, even after after
[58:01] pregnancy. And this is what they are allowed to do. Nobody is restricting their movement. Nobody is
[58:05] doing anything to stop their regular life. They need their own, you know, human beings. I don't think
[58:11] the machine is just carrying it. I see how it can easily be. Yes, I actually, because I'm
[58:17] doing it with time too. Yes. Money for. Money for hand quickly. And also, Nigerians that have a lot of
[58:24] Nigerians that have money, not all, not all. They suppress, you know, people because, you know,
[58:31] they are poor. And people who are poor think they are less. So they would take whatever is
[58:35] giving to them. They don't even know, like this one, you know, realized that the story I was
[58:39] here, you know, after I started sharing about it, people were dropping different stories in my
[58:45] email. She didn't even know that, you know, she had the right to say, okay, I'm not going to
[58:52] hospital today because I don't feel well. Or I don't actually feel good today. I don't want,
[58:58] I don't know. She didn't know that she had the right to her own body during the pregnancy to say,
[59:03] okay, I don't, I don't want to see anybody today. Right now. So anytime they call, she was
[59:08] like, yeah, yeah, come. She's like, don't let them just come for you. Let's check the twins.
[59:14] She's like, she didn't know that she was saying, no, I'm not feeling too well today.
[59:21] I said, hey, now, wow. Let's talk about our husband, the support team, support team was
[59:25] one. Yes. So you always advocate like, it's, you can't just talk talking about women need to
[59:30] be supported by their men. Like, you always talk about it. When I listen to that and I
[59:35] read comments, it doesn't disconnect for me. What is wrong in somebody saying the husband
[59:41] will support you? Why am I reading comments that are saying, it's not everybody that is the same.
[59:49] It's not everybody that is the same. You are just good now. Don't trust me. You don't know.
[59:55] Like I said, what is wrong in saying let your husband support you. Tell me. Okay, so somebody
[1:00:00] someone said that all these people that always post about their marriage online. They're not
[1:00:06] happy in real life. I was, and this is supposed to be someone that I was like, that has more sense.
[1:00:12] Why would you say that? She said, I tried to, like, I was in the room where having like a
[1:00:18] creator's, like, there were so many creators there. I was like, oh, this man, where they post
[1:00:23] God in marriage, they're happy marriage. We all know that I was like, why would you think that
[1:00:31] apparently she can't relate? Yes. So I think that Andrea actually projects a lot. So it's like
[1:00:38] some, expecting someone that has known abuse of her life. And she sees herself as less in the
[1:00:43] marriage. She goes online and she sees one random woman going and saying, your husband is supposed to
[1:00:48] barbeque your children while you are in the kitchen. And they're like, I mean, they barbeque,
[1:00:52] they cook, they spit, they spit, they drain, which one is this one? It's not real life.
[1:00:55] It's not real life. She's supposed to be lying. So they don't believe that it's not true.
[1:00:59] That people can't be genuinely happy and be vibing and be happy with your children. They're
[1:01:03] married and actually love each other and your friends. Because they just can relate. Because
[1:01:09] everything is just action now from the get go. Yeah. I'm married. I'm on, I'm on that. I've
[1:01:14] made money. It puts me through school. It's like it's a sensational relationship. And there's no
[1:01:21] actual connection, no communication, no rights. Because I feel like sometimes you need to remember
[1:01:28] that almost your time that is making this guy excel. Your time is on the line. You are holding
[1:01:33] the other hope. That's why this man got go at a guy and say, chick, you have too much time when
[1:01:37] it's hard. Let's walk inside the house. You will not see time. I promise you, you will not have
[1:01:42] the time to go and start another family. Because how a man having time to start and not doubt
[1:01:48] a whole brand new. It's on the back of your brand new brand new. It's on your label. It's your time.
[1:01:58] I said, that's your time. You claim your time. So that's the thing. We started on a very good note.
[1:02:03] Yeah. So that's why it's easy to just keep compounding. Yeah. I saw from the get go. Please
[1:02:08] be very good. Yeah. I was going to ask you like, that's my G. This is this was how you started.
[1:02:12] It wasn't like, oh, you had to now teach. But it's very easy to actually change it for anybody
[1:02:18] that's trying to. I've seen people change it. That's a good thing about sharing as well. Because
[1:02:23] I said yesterday, I didn't buff them. Yeah. I'm very good at that. Yeah, I told him, I'm not
[1:02:31] feeling well with them. Yeah. And he said, okay, I hope you're okay. Because tomorrow, I'm not going
[1:02:37] to be around this evening. And she said, if you're not around next tomorrow, I'm not going to,
[1:02:42] they're going to sleep. They're going to go to school and they won't buy. Well, guess who's
[1:02:47] last name? They're buried. Yeah. You know what I said. They are gay. Exactly. Smelling
[1:02:53] to the other day. They did not buy food. Signed the mill to their parents. I said, guess who's
[1:02:58] last name? And when she said, I wish she said that. It was like, excuse me, what did you say?
[1:03:03] Yes. I should say, yeah. I said what I said. Now your children have your last name. So don't
[1:03:08] buff them. I'm going to be cooking you, but I didn't like playing like people, but she said,
[1:03:12] be a ten minute. Yeah. Yeah. It's my time. Yeah. So despite the projection from some people,
[1:03:18] all the people are also being changed because of the things that you said. Like, you know, he's not
[1:03:23] buffing them or without sharing them. I say, I saw. Yes. Yes. But like, is that just buffing?
[1:03:28] It's like, no, it's not buffing. It's in things. I want to be able to twist my ear.
[1:03:33] He's when people say he's helping. Helping words. Like, oh, yeah, look, he has one helps you.
[1:03:41] In our house. That's why I live in together.
[1:03:44] That is where people say, I don't know anything about Nigerian importation.
[1:03:53] I don't know how my post gets to the house because why? My house, but this is really a school.
[1:04:02] He carries my business on his head. And a lot of his own big clients, my father, I tell him,
[1:04:08] see, if I want to wreck you on your shop business right now, I'm just going to, I'm just going to
[1:04:12] send a couple of emails because your biggest customers, because I take it as my own business.
[1:04:18] He takes my own business as his own business. He's not just people health shows now.
[1:04:21] It's like, people are expecting women to just not have anything.
[1:04:25] Anything, anything, anything help. Anything, what's wrong with him?
[1:04:30] It's a strong woman. Like, no, financial. Yeah, that's where I'm mostly, you know,
[1:04:35] passionate about the financial parts. Like, I have your money. Why don't you? People who have
[1:04:40] didn't have money, you know, women, Nigerians, like, draw women.
[1:04:46] They don't have their own money. Like, their own money that they're holding is helping.
[1:04:50] I will say the word help now because that's the way it's in his right now.
[1:04:53] Yeah. Yeah.
[1:04:53] Yeah, husband is actually actively encouraging them to make.
[1:04:56] Yeah.
[1:04:57] Accidentally encouraging them to make them to make.
[1:04:59] Yeah.
[1:05:00] Not the one that's okay. Have a teaching day of that.
[1:05:02] The end of the day is some five percent goes back to our children.
[1:05:04] Yeah.
[1:05:05] They don't miss any word.
[1:05:05] Yeah.
[1:05:06] And then I wait for you to bring the extra.
[1:05:08] Yeah.
[1:05:08] Like, you flourishing financially.
[1:05:12] And your husband is actively involved.
[1:05:14] Yes.
[1:05:14] You know the, it's a problem.
[1:05:17] And it's like, you, when you're talking about it, it's like,
[1:05:20] oh, because you're privileged, you married your friend, that's fine.
[1:05:23] And like, if you don't go and fight for your rights, excuse me.
[1:05:28] Why are you following him up and down?
[1:05:30] And then you don't understand this.
[1:05:32] What somebody tells you something.
[1:05:33] You start looking for excuses because you did.
[1:05:35] It's because you, that's what we have to run ahead.
[1:05:38] All of us.
[1:05:39] Like, what's the issue?
[1:05:41] As I like it, every time I do those things, I don't know what to do.
[1:05:44] Every time I do it, I'm like, yeah.
[1:05:46] And then you don't see that, I don't say, ah, let's see.
[1:05:49] This business, I don't know that.
[1:05:50] And you always, she shows receipts.
[1:05:52] Yeah, to look like that.
[1:05:53] No, I'm not just talking.
[1:05:54] Come on, see, like, she shows receipts and those things.
[1:05:57] I mean, I love it.
[1:05:57] I love it.
[1:05:58] A good thing.
[1:05:58] I just don't think, like, do you know how the amount of energy I don't like stress?
[1:06:03] And the way you take this on, talk about it.
[1:06:05] I mean, I talk about, of course, women and need.
[1:06:07] Yeah, I think I am.
[1:06:08] So, you, you, you, they fight too.
[1:06:10] I talk.
[1:06:12] That's how I guess what I do then.
[1:06:13] Yes.
[1:06:13] I feel like you had like, you know, this military grid armor.
[1:06:17] I had your, oh, yeah, I said, actually, I actually didn't respond to that.
[1:06:22] This is the first time I'm talking about it since that time.
[1:06:24] I feel like you were doing it in your, inside your house.
[1:06:27] No, I don't continue posting.
[1:06:28] I don't, I don't go back to it.
[1:06:30] That's why it's, that's why I said what I said.
[1:06:33] I don't want to go back to it.
[1:06:34] Again, like I said, I said what I said, but I'd later on that suit
[1:06:39] with why many people are angry.
[1:06:41] It doesn't mean that they were right in the way that you came.
[1:06:44] And to me, but I, on that suit, I'm not talking to you.
[1:06:47] I understand it's more like, okay, I get it, I get it, you know.
[1:06:51] Well, I like how you respond to that.
[1:06:53] Yeah, that's how I, I wait, I don't say it.
[1:06:55] Yeah, come on, talk now.
[1:06:57] Come on, talk.
[1:06:58] No, I like your receipts.
[1:06:59] You show receipts.
[1:06:59] You show walking.
[1:07:00] It's the energy.
[1:07:01] No, don't sit down on my seats with my zoom in face.
[1:07:04] I say, you cannot depend on a man.
[1:07:06] You didn't.
[1:07:07] I'll write my story, give you examples.
[1:07:08] But you come with a lot of energy and receipts.
[1:07:11] And I think that's also good.
[1:07:12] Because then many women who are very unbelieving like to see.
[1:07:17] They won't come to your email and write it.
[1:07:19] They will, they will, they would call out their hearts.
[1:07:23] And they will tell you, Nancy, this is what I made last month.
[1:07:26] Yeah.
[1:07:26] This is, they will give you actual figures.
[1:07:28] What do you think?
[1:07:28] Yeah.
[1:07:29] And they're like, I'll say, oh my,
[1:07:31] guy, you're cheating yourself in that marriage.
[1:07:33] You need to step up.
[1:07:35] It's a step up.
[1:07:36] You need to share this thing.
[1:07:37] You need to get help.
[1:07:39] Get, get a chef.
[1:07:40] Get a seat.
[1:07:41] The way people are now.
[1:07:42] You people can come together and get a proper training.
[1:07:45] Get this so that you can free your time.
[1:07:46] So that you can't, and I even have the brain
[1:07:49] the time spacing your brain to do something now.
[1:07:52] Yeah, I have to do more because I'm more.
[1:07:54] This weaponized incompetence that I drummed as sitting on.
[1:07:57] It's like a belly big deal.
[1:07:59] They're just like, I'm not good at that.
[1:08:00] That's how I own.
[1:08:01] And that's how our label will only be.
[1:08:05] I'm not good at that.
[1:08:06] We all leave it.
[1:08:07] That's it down there because I do.
[1:08:09] I don't really understand.
[1:08:10] And this is why it's good for women to speak for women.
[1:08:14] And I will never ever listen or accommodate anyone who says,
[1:08:18] what about men?
[1:08:19] I did, I didn't know.
[1:08:20] I don't know.
[1:08:21] They are already on top of us.
[1:08:22] I don't know.
[1:08:23] You go up with your page.
[1:08:25] Exactly.
[1:08:26] Discuss your own.
[1:08:26] The way people like to go.
[1:08:27] You know what I'm saying?
[1:08:29] If I say, so they're like, I said,
[1:08:31] you should marry a kind of man.
[1:08:32] The man came in and said,
[1:08:33] you should marry a kind of man.
[1:08:34] I don't, I'm also talking to you.
[1:08:36] Hi.
[1:08:37] Go out and open your own.
[1:08:38] Open your own.
[1:08:38] I'm going to talk about it.
[1:08:39] I'm talking to women right now.
[1:08:41] And it's your business.
[1:08:43] If you don't, if you see how women are helping each other
[1:08:46] and the talk is helping,
[1:08:47] why can't you?
[1:08:48] If it's really deep in your spirit,
[1:08:50] go and do your own.
[1:08:51] I did a video one.
[1:08:51] How many men do you see?
[1:08:53] Genuinely, very few.
[1:08:54] Genuinely talking to other men for the purpose of making them
[1:08:58] better as a family man, as an individual,
[1:09:01] to be wholesome.
[1:09:02] Check it.
[1:09:03] You accounts.
[1:09:04] How many men are doing that?
[1:09:05] So why you blame the woman for speaking out?
[1:09:07] So for you, what you're doing is,
[1:09:09] first of all, you minister on its own.
[1:09:11] And it's just truly, truly amazing.
[1:09:13] What you're doing?
[1:09:14] Well done.
[1:09:14] Well done.
[1:09:15] Thank you.
[1:09:15] I have a friend that once did a video.
[1:09:17] She said, if you're scared that your wife
[1:09:19] ends up like you, or will end what are you.
[1:09:22] So you feel like it's in your own
[1:09:25] detriment.
[1:09:26] Well, yeah, you need to go and stop it.
[1:09:28] You need to go and destroy that thing.
[1:09:29] That means you're a horrible husband in the first place.
[1:09:31] It means that
[1:09:32] when she did not have, she did not treat her well.
[1:09:35] Like, she said it in such a way.
[1:09:36] And I saw how they came for her.
[1:09:38] She's big on Facebook.
[1:09:40] She came, I know Facebook, they don't even,
[1:09:43] they were threatening this woman.
[1:09:44] They were like, how could you say she came
[1:09:45] as she said, you are a wicked man.
[1:09:48] If your wife makes money and she starts
[1:09:50] disrespecting you, you means that you were horrible to her
[1:09:54] when she did not have.
[1:09:56] And this is what you did to her.
[1:09:57] And she was clear based on, I know that's not everybody's
[1:10:01] but then she was like, if you are scared,
[1:10:03] then you are a horrible person.
[1:10:05] Because there's no way you would genuinely want your wife
[1:10:07] to succeed.
[1:10:08] And you will now be trying to just hold her back.
[1:10:12] Hold her back so that she doesn't just go ahead of you.
[1:10:14] Well, I want you to want your wife to end more.
[1:10:18] It means that we get so, the way she said it, she said,
[1:10:20] you are like, hey, they came for her.
[1:10:23] That video had about 100 million views.
[1:10:25] Wow.
[1:10:26] She make money though.
[1:10:27] Of course she's a content creator.
[1:10:29] But I'm going to say like, no, because if you're going to come for
[1:10:32] her, you're going to come for me.
[1:10:33] Becoming for me, let's let them be.
[1:10:34] The men, the men, they should say, I wasn't talking to you guys.
[1:10:39] You know what, the story of this thing is another day.
[1:10:42] There's a whole topic that has to be discussed as to how about the,
[1:10:45] how about the, and also the fact that when we are talking about
[1:10:49] women progressing and a man who doesn't love you,
[1:10:52] it's another story on its own.
[1:10:54] So let's package.
[1:10:56] Do you like my skin?
[1:10:57] Do you like my skin?
[1:10:59] I'm sure you do.
[1:11:00] My skin is powered by dang lifestyle.
[1:11:04] Skin care brands specifically tailored for people like you.
[1:11:08] Go to danglasher.co to get your, use the discount code on the screen
[1:11:12] to get 10% off.
[1:11:13] It's time to take our pledge and share our story.
[1:11:17] Are you ready?
[1:11:18] Yeah, let's go.
[1:11:22] Hi.
[1:11:23] Hi.
[1:11:24] Hi.
[1:11:25] Nice to meet you.
[1:11:26] Promise to be kind.
[1:11:27] Promise to be kind.
[1:11:28] To be honest.
[1:11:29] To be honest.
[1:11:30] And to not ask if they're who roots in the story.
[1:11:33] Yes.
[1:11:33] You say what?
[1:11:34] Oreo for you.
[1:11:34] Aloya.
[1:11:35] Alo.
[1:11:36] Don't ask if they're.
[1:11:37] And not to ask them.
[1:11:39] If they.
[1:11:40] I will not ask if they.
[1:11:41] Who roots in the story.
[1:11:42] Who roots in the story?
[1:11:43] Yes, thank you very much.
[1:11:45] You said it.
[1:11:45] You mean what I don't, that don't join calls.
[1:11:47] You don't join calls.
[1:11:49] They are if they.
[1:11:50] I didn't know I could feel this bitrate to the bone.
[1:11:54] My husband's 18-year-old nephew who was living with us
[1:11:58] sexually abused my daughter who was 10 at the time.
[1:12:02] We sent him away to his mom only for my husband to bring him back
[1:12:06] five years later that we needed to help him
[1:12:09] as I needed to learn skills to go hustle abroad.
[1:12:13] The boy was a sister son.
[1:12:15] I revolted but he said if I didn't want the boy to come
[1:12:18] I should resign from my job and take care of our child.
[1:12:22] What was the correlation?
[1:12:24] Long story short.
[1:12:25] He told me that I didn't raise my daughter well
[1:12:27] and she was not in no sense.
[1:12:29] He victim shamed his own daughter.
[1:12:33] Till today I don't trust him and I'm very bitter.
[1:12:36] I don't think I will ever ever love him again.
[1:12:38] We're still married.
[1:12:40] The Abiza is late now but I still have not forgiven both of them
[1:12:43] especially my husband.
[1:12:45] It's a father not supposed to protect.
[1:12:48] My husband is a pastor.
[1:12:50] My daughter is in her mid-twenties now.
[1:12:53] The pain is still fresh for me.
[1:12:55] I still cannot forgive my husband.
[1:13:01] I'm not supposed to say anything about that.
[1:13:04] Yes.
[1:13:04] So yeah, I'm supposed to cry and go to bed.
[1:13:09] It's the way we see.
[1:13:11] Hey, if it's not with me cry, I'll abandon you.
[1:13:14] Yeah.
[1:13:15] Yeah.
[1:13:18] Question.
[1:13:19] Why is she still with the man?
[1:13:21] Because if people would say, if they wouldn't,
[1:13:23] why if that isn't the sex question?
[1:13:27] And I summarize this letter because it's long.
[1:13:31] Why?
[1:13:31] Do you know what?
[1:13:33] I have to tell you how it goes.
[1:13:34] Yeah.
[1:13:37] I protect Eliana in my life.
[1:13:40] I don't care who you are.
[1:13:41] Even if you're my twin or my father.
[1:13:45] You touch my daughter.
[1:13:46] I'm sorry.
[1:13:48] You can't never tell my house ever in my life again.
[1:13:51] Guess what?
[1:13:52] You abuse that accent, right?
[1:13:54] No, that she's not grown.
[1:13:56] Don't be.
[1:13:57] You want to talk about it?
[1:13:58] You bring that same person back.
[1:14:00] I sure, the man has not done the NHS.
[1:14:02] I'm sorry, that's not his daughter.
[1:14:04] That's his daughter, my sister.
[1:14:05] Because I don't know how she's still married to that man.
[1:14:10] That's what I said.
[1:14:11] He said, how?
[1:14:12] You didn't drink your daughter's world, so she's not...
[1:14:14] Your daughter.
[1:14:15] She's not his daughter.
[1:14:16] Mm-hmm.
[1:14:17] Yeah, no.
[1:14:17] And it's not part of the training.
[1:14:19] Uh-uh.
[1:14:19] No.
[1:14:21] It's not part of the training.
[1:14:22] Uh-uh.
[1:14:24] Oh, Jesus.
[1:14:25] I'm not going to ask for this kind of question.
[1:14:27] Oh, right.
[1:14:29] You can't be like, I have to tell you.
[1:14:31] Yeah.
[1:14:32] I see.
[1:14:33] Do you know how easily they can get, like, messed up at that age?
[1:14:39] Yeah.
[1:14:40] I don't know how to start growing.
[1:14:42] All right, she looks like...
[1:14:46] Why are you calling me your child's name?
[1:14:47] Yeah.
[1:14:48] Mommy.
[1:14:50] Everybody in my class has...
[1:14:53] I need brown tops.
[1:14:54] That's what she told me, like, uh,
[1:14:56] I was in the UK, she was like, she called me on for neck money.
[1:14:59] My brown tops are now small.
[1:15:00] Uh-uh.
[1:15:00] I need more brown tops.
[1:15:02] She's always like this.
[1:15:03] I don't know if you don't say like anything like this.
[1:15:05] I'm like, what did I do to her?
[1:15:06] Gosh.
[1:15:06] Uh-uh.
[1:15:07] Then somebody will now abuse her, and that's this.
[1:15:11] I can't believe it.
[1:15:12] Then the person will be allowed into a farthest house.
[1:15:15] To the home.
[1:15:17] Mommy, I'll go do illegal things, and then end the marriage.
[1:15:21] And then, God, forgive me in advance.
[1:15:24] But that's horrible.
[1:15:25] It is horrible.
[1:15:26] And I think that people are allowed to get away with these kind of things,
[1:15:29] because people have actually not gone to jail.
[1:15:32] He was 18.
[1:15:33] He was an adult when he abused us.
[1:15:34] He was an adult.
[1:15:35] He was 10.
[1:15:36] And five years later.
[1:15:38] You can't go to jail, yeah?
[1:15:41] It's an adult.
[1:15:42] God, you rent a court.
[1:15:43] You guys pay your...
[1:15:45] Why does African families tolerate these things?
[1:15:47] No, you can't keep it.
[1:15:48] Why?
[1:15:51] I'll tell you something that happened.
[1:15:53] I've never said this publicly, but I would be green up.
[1:15:58] My father married again when my mom died.
[1:16:02] And...
[1:16:03] Hmm, so good.
[1:16:06] When I was sleeping,
[1:16:08] I felt something.
[1:16:08] I knew that somebody...
[1:16:11] touched me.
[1:16:13] And...
[1:16:14] You know how you wake up in the morning and you can't tell your father?
[1:16:19] So when he touched me when I was sleeping,
[1:16:22] I felt all touched me.
[1:16:24] And...
[1:16:26] I saw the person that walked out of the room.
[1:16:30] And then my father was like,
[1:16:32] really?
[1:16:34] That's going to tell you...
[1:16:36] Stepmom.
[1:16:36] Stepmom.
[1:16:37] And then I told my stepmom
[1:16:39] and what they told me was that,
[1:16:42] I don't know what I'm saying.
[1:16:45] I'm...
[1:16:46] Imagine things.
[1:16:47] Imagine things.
[1:16:47] How old were you?
[1:16:49] 13.
[1:16:50] About 14.
[1:16:51] I don't know.
[1:16:52] I was a secondary school at the time.
[1:16:54] I knew something happened.
[1:16:56] After that, my daddy said, okay.
[1:16:58] Guys, I'm never going to leave your door open again.
[1:17:00] You're going to lock your door.
[1:17:02] And that's the first thing.
[1:17:03] It was trying to be diplomatic.
[1:17:04] Yes, I'm going to...
[1:17:05] It was quietly relocated.
[1:17:07] All the men in the house...
[1:17:10] rented them down that pass.
[1:17:11] That was the last time we ever slept
[1:17:13] with anybody in our house again.
[1:17:14] We didn't want to do it today.
[1:17:15] So it was like,
[1:17:17] oh, because I wasn't sure.
[1:17:18] Because they were...
[1:17:19] I don't remember the gaslighting at the time.
[1:17:21] Because I was young.
[1:17:22] Like, are you sure?
[1:17:23] Because were you dreaming?
[1:17:25] I didn't even call the person.
[1:17:26] Oh, you were supposed to be addressing.
[1:17:28] It was just me and me and my dreams.
[1:17:31] And I'm like, I'm not dreaming.
[1:17:32] I said, person, touch me.
[1:17:34] For a year, I fell asleep.
[1:17:35] I know it.
[1:17:37] And they said, maybe...
[1:17:39] And then my daddy does quietly...
[1:17:41] He accepted us.
[1:17:42] Yeah.
[1:17:43] And, you know...
[1:17:45] But, up to now, I feel like...
[1:17:47] I'm more...
[1:17:47] I still need my justice.
[1:17:48] Because the person touched me for that.
[1:17:50] Yeah.
[1:17:51] No, I'm not crazy.
[1:17:53] Yes.
[1:17:54] Somebody did.
[1:17:55] I saw the person.
[1:17:57] And you still know the person.
[1:17:59] The person is still around your very, very far home.
[1:18:02] No, no.
[1:18:03] Me, I mean...
[1:18:04] They...
[1:18:05] PhD, who I...
[1:18:06] Slice enough.
[1:18:07] I don't even go cut off.
[1:18:08] Slice you come up for my life.
[1:18:11] Try rubbish.
[1:18:11] It's my family.
[1:18:12] Like, first of all, that's a child.
[1:18:15] Anything that...
[1:18:15] See, I'm happy, man.
[1:18:17] Okay, others are doing it for that.
[1:18:19] To do me, I do you.
[1:18:20] What you do is a child.
[1:18:21] Yeah.
[1:18:22] And then, know your own father.
[1:18:24] Your own father, Gungo.
[1:18:25] Cannot protect you.
[1:18:26] Cannot protect you.
[1:18:28] Cannot protect you.
[1:18:28] Obviously, I said to my dad,
[1:18:29] you do not protect me enough.
[1:18:31] I need my justice.
[1:18:32] My daughter, my daughter, please.
[1:18:34] Yes, just let it go.
[1:18:35] You don't know what happened inside the room.
[1:18:37] Now, maybe that's why you don't know that.
[1:18:38] I knew that's why they broke up.
[1:18:39] You better try the books.
[1:18:41] He was like,
[1:18:42] we didn't want to do that fight in front of you guys.
[1:18:44] Trust me.
[1:18:45] I fought for you.
[1:18:47] He took everybody out of the house.
[1:18:50] He got to see me.
[1:18:51] Nobody else was in the house.
[1:18:53] We still looked at those.
[1:18:54] Because he was just like,
[1:18:55] what do you want?
[1:18:56] I'm saying, I'm like, you don't try.
[1:18:59] Police station.
[1:19:00] Yes, it should not be going to jail.
[1:19:02] They touched me.
[1:19:02] Somebody touched me.
[1:19:03] He said,
[1:19:05] hey, Joe, I did the best I could do.
[1:19:07] I did the best I could do.
[1:19:08] But I like the least as a father
[1:19:10] that you can do.
[1:19:11] I agree.
[1:19:11] Protects your child.
[1:19:12] I agree.
[1:19:13] And that father does not deserve to have.
[1:19:15] Nope.
[1:19:16] Nope.
[1:19:16] Any say in your child's love.
[1:19:18] And she's still with you.
[1:19:19] I'm like when I hear a pastor
[1:19:20] because you have to change your congregation.
[1:19:22] Yes.
[1:19:23] What exactly?
[1:19:23] And that means that maybe
[1:19:25] somebody something happens to
[1:19:27] his church member.
[1:19:29] He would tell that your daughter is at fault.
[1:19:31] She didn't train her.
[1:19:32] Because that is what he was also doing in his home.
[1:19:35] And that's his mentality.
[1:19:37] Now, let's remove that as a pastor.
[1:19:38] OK.
[1:19:39] Yeah, a pastor.
[1:19:40] I don't even like him.
[1:19:41] He's not a pastor.
[1:19:41] He's got a lot of time.
[1:19:42] He said, human being.
[1:19:44] I don't even like him
[1:19:46] for a pastor to do this.
[1:19:47] Because he just makes me feel like
[1:19:50] they have flocked.
[1:19:51] They have sheep.
[1:19:51] You have your congregation.
[1:19:52] I need people looking up to you.
[1:19:54] And that's what a very good look.
[1:19:55] The pastor is a human being.
[1:19:56] So that's what I would say.
[1:19:57] He's a human.
[1:19:58] So we will take out the father in the past.
[1:20:00] But let's say human being as a father.
[1:20:02] I don't think that I was OK.
[1:20:04] I don't think that I was OK.
[1:20:05] That's that's me.
[1:20:07] If I wait, this is me and I'm sorry.
[1:20:09] But if you watch this episode,
[1:20:11] this episode, please, can you just
[1:20:16] if you are still feeling like this,
[1:20:17] for instance, we're able to send this type of message.
[1:20:20] You're not OK in your mind.
[1:20:22] You're not OK.
[1:20:24] It was spiritually.
[1:20:25] Yeah.
[1:20:25] She's carrying a lot.
[1:20:28] But that's 23 now.
[1:20:30] I think we need to check in with her.
[1:20:32] See if she remembers.
[1:20:33] Because a lot of times,
[1:20:34] we block out these things.
[1:20:35] I've gone through some traumatic events
[1:20:37] and I blocked them out.
[1:20:38] I assume that that part of my life did not happen.
[1:20:41] That's what I tell myself.
[1:20:43] The moment they came to tell us,
[1:20:44] I'm what I died.
[1:20:45] I actively
[1:20:48] blocked out that phase of my life.
[1:20:49] So people would be like,
[1:20:50] I remember being from Jess as to.
[1:20:52] I don't know in my sister, I don't know.
[1:20:53] And I honestly, I don't know how that happened.
[1:20:57] I blocked it out.
[1:20:58] So a lot of times,
[1:20:59] when people experience
[1:21:00] grief, traumatic trauma,
[1:21:02] events, they block it out,
[1:21:03] she needs to check in with her daughter
[1:21:05] to be sure that our girl is fine.
[1:21:07] Because there's a special type of feeling
[1:21:09] when you feel like you're betrayed by your own blood.
[1:21:12] If you ask my papa,
[1:21:13] why don't you do the one where I
[1:21:15] we want to make you carry it
[1:21:16] and get for serving,
[1:21:17] blah, blah, blah, blah.
[1:21:17] Yes, they don't drive me,
[1:21:18] but they say,
[1:21:19] if I thought they were like,
[1:21:20] ah, you didn't give me justice.
[1:21:21] Imagine what our girl is now feeling.
[1:21:23] She needs to check in with her daughter.
[1:21:24] I see she remembers.
[1:21:26] Yeah.
[1:21:26] She's always to talk about it
[1:21:28] because she's carrying this much burden.
[1:21:30] Yeah.
[1:21:31] What about the pressure?
[1:21:31] She's not beat.
[1:21:33] Yeah.
[1:21:33] Imagine is exactly.
[1:21:37] Ah.
[1:21:38] Hi.
[1:21:39] How about things that happen now?
[1:21:41] Yeah.
[1:21:42] Thank you so much, Darcy, for coming.
[1:21:44] Thank you for helping me.
[1:21:45] It's a great time with you.
[1:21:47] I've never explained thoughts.
[1:21:49] Before we go, we have a gift for you.
[1:21:50] Ooh.
[1:21:51] My yellow face.
[1:21:52] We know.
[1:21:53] And my yellow face.
[1:21:54] As a dark acid.
[1:21:55] It's like, is that the right pronunciation?
[1:21:59] As a leak.
[1:22:00] Can't wait.
[1:22:01] I don't go to the video.
[1:22:02] Right.
[1:22:03] I said, I said, like, hey, it's a leak.
[1:22:05] There you go.
[1:22:06] We don't need people to ask us to give you this.
[1:22:09] I want to.
[1:22:10] Please.
[1:22:10] Yes.
[1:22:11] Even if we're in packaging,
[1:22:12] go to our baguette.
[1:22:13] Thank God I use packaging
[1:22:14] to increase price for us next year.
[1:22:15] Ah.
[1:22:16] Because this one is too much for skincare.
[1:22:18] No, I don't know that skincare that is insane.
[1:22:20] Why is it done?
[1:22:21] Oh, lifestyle.
[1:22:22] Oh, point.
[1:22:23] It's still done.
[1:22:25] Ooh.
[1:22:26] Ah.
[1:22:27] Wait, it's in the separate, isn't it?
[1:22:29] Yeah, I'm going to chop it up, money.
[1:22:31] Wow.
[1:22:32] Do you know that I went to the skincare part of it?
[1:22:35] Yeah, you didn't go to the fake ones.
[1:22:36] No, I was going to say on that day,
[1:22:37] spread wings like fake ones,
[1:22:39] diffusers, and all of those things.
[1:22:41] Ooh, made in Italy.
[1:22:42] Yes.
[1:22:44] You also opened it quickly.
[1:22:45] Oh, yeah, though.
[1:22:46] Sorry, guys.
[1:22:47] When you open it.
[1:22:48] Ah, go up one now.
[1:22:49] I'm going to go up one.
[1:22:51] So.
[1:22:53] Sorry.
[1:22:54] I hope you like it.
[1:22:55] No, don't apologize.
[1:22:56] It's not your usual unboxing.
[1:22:57] Posh unboxing.
[1:22:58] I don't want to spoil this fine packaging.
[1:23:00] Go that page.
[1:23:00] Yeah, help.
[1:23:02] Ah.
[1:23:03] I want to smell it.
[1:23:04] I want to spray it.
[1:23:05] Ha, ha, ha.
[1:23:07] Ooh.
[1:23:10] Ah, fine, fine.
[1:23:12] If it is a very gorgeous.
[1:23:15] Thank you.
[1:23:16] Package.
[1:23:16] Thank you.
[1:23:17] Do you have a hard refuse?
[1:23:18] No hard, perfect.
[1:23:19] Go now.
[1:23:21] Here we go.
[1:23:22] That's pretty.
[1:23:26] I love this.
[1:23:27] Ooh.
[1:23:29] It's amazing.
[1:23:30] If I do this to myself, I might do this to myself.
[1:23:32] Bye.
[1:23:35] Ah, that's why it's not as she falls out.
[1:23:37] Lydia did so.
[1:23:38] I let you go out on your day.
[1:23:39] They'll say, bye.
[1:23:40] Wait.
[1:23:42] This one.
[1:23:43] Such a full look.
[1:23:43] Yes.
[1:23:44] Ooh, this is beautiful.
[1:23:45] Thank you.
[1:23:46] You're welcome.
[1:23:46] We're welcome.
[1:23:47] I'm glad you love it.
[1:23:48] I love it.
[1:23:49] I'm glad you do.
[1:23:49] That we got to check the many parts of Zang.
[1:23:51] I don't want to say websites full.
[1:23:54] Thank you so much.
[1:23:55] Thank you so much for coming.
[1:23:56] No bless you.
[1:23:57] Thank you.
[1:23:57] We appreciate you.
[1:23:58] Jail down comments to members.
[1:24:00] Thank you for watching.
[1:24:01] Absolutely.
[1:24:02] Over to you.
[1:24:07] My yellow face.
[1:24:08] We know.
[1:24:09] And my yellow face.
[1:24:10] As a like, as a like, as a like, is that the right pronunciation?
[1:24:15] As a lead.
[1:24:16] Can't wait.
[1:24:17] I don't go to the video.
[1:24:19] I said, I said like it, really.
[1:24:22] Yay.
[1:24:23] Thank you so much.
[1:24:25] You actually made it to the end of this video.
[1:24:27] Don't forget to subscribe, like, comments,
[1:24:30] and share this amazing episode.

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