# ER Nurses React to Sex Injuries That Sent People to the ER | The ER Edit Ep. 15

An episode of [the ER edit](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1884089840), 17 Jun 2026, 35 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO6390154326.mp3

This week on The ER Edit, Caitlin and Karlie talk about the sex injuries that end up in the emergency room, from cock rings and foreign objects to retained tampons, penile fractures, priapism, and the ER stories patients are usually way too embarrassed to explain. It is chaotic, uncomfortable, very nurse coded, and somehow still practical. If there is one message underneath all the horror and laughing, it is this: just tell us what happened. The CT scan is going to tell on you anyway. LISTEN, WATCH, FOLLOW, AND SEND US YOUR STORIES https://theeredit.com Find The ER Edit episodes, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, The Whisper Line, host links, and business contact in one place. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ab8DoFQ3hTyQvIE69O2YR?si=fea43e1cda3140f0 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-er-edit/id1884089840 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theERedit Instagram: @theERedit_ TikTok: @theERedit Business inquiries: theeredit@gmail.com The views and opinions expressed in this episode are those of Caitlin Armstrong and Karlie Tooley and do not represent the views, policies, or positions of their current or former employers, hospitals, healthcare organizations, or any affiliated institutions. This podcast is for entertainment and general discussion purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. 00:00 The ER call nobody wants 02:19 When sex sends you to the ER 03:28 Sex injury quiz time 04:06 Cock rings and fire department backup 05:30 When foreign objects require hospitalization 06:47 Who ends up with genital foreign body injuries 08:00 Why the base matters 09:06 Reddit sex injury stories begin 10:15 Retained tampons and ER removals 11:39 Jalapeños and terrible timing 14:08 The Halloween bathroom injury 15:02 Penile fractures and the loud pop 18:05 When sex becomes a real emergency 24:00 Priapism treatment is gnarly 31:13 Why honesty matters in the ER

## Transcript

[0:00] Cock rings are not supposed to stay on there indefinitely,
[0:02] right? So we see this happen in the ER.
[0:06] I've seen it a handful of. Times.
[0:08] Every time. I don't think people realize
[0:10] that we do have ring cutters in the emergency room.
[0:13] However they are not strong enough to cut these.
[0:15] So if you get a cock ring stuck on your penis, the fire
[0:18] department is actually coming to see you because their tools are
[0:22] bigger and better than ours are. So if you think that you're
[0:24] coming to the ER just to see like one person, you're wrong.
[0:29] Grab a coffee. Take a breath.
[0:31] You've just clocked in to the ER edit.
[0:33] I'm Caitlin. I'm Carly.
[0:34] You are now clocked in. Hi, good morning.
[0:39] Happy Wednesday. Good.
[0:40] Morning. Happy Wednesday.
[0:42] It has been a week. Have you watched what Oh what's
[0:47] it called off campus? No, OK, I need to start.
[0:49] I'm late. I know.
[0:51] I know how I know. I think I'm going to love it and
[0:53] I'm excited. I've been looking at all of the
[0:57] TikTok stuff on it though. The edits.
[0:58] Yes. OK, so I started watching it
[1:01] because I was also late to the game and everyone's like, it's
[1:04] so good. It's so good.
[1:04] I was like, it kind of looks cheesy to be honest.
[1:06] And I'm not into super like cheesy shows and I kind of love.
[1:09] It. OK, so holy shit.
[1:12] Does it make you want to go back to college?
[1:14] OK, but here's the thing. And I saw a video on this Yes,
[1:18] but not like my college experience.
[1:19] Like, I think the reason that it's sucking in so many, like,
[1:22] grown married women and somebody made a video that said it's
[1:25] because the college boys on this show are so emotionally
[1:31] intelligent. They're all about consent.
[1:33] They're all about emotional, like responsiveness.
[1:36] And it's like very uncommon to what your experience was when
[1:39] you were young. So you're like.
[1:41] Drawn into these like men and it's having all these like
[1:44] married housewives be like fantasizing over college kids
[1:49] and I want to watch it. Again, OK, but that was kind of
[1:51] how I felt about the summer. I turned pretty.
[1:53] Did you watch that? No, but I watched part of that
[1:56] and I could not get into it. And I'm telling you, this is
[1:59] going to rock your world, OK? Well, I'm in.
[2:01] Even Ryan watched part of. It is it as toxic as tell me
[2:04] lies? No.
[2:06] No, no, no, no, no. I just need to know what I'm
[2:08] getting. Into really well done because
[2:11] like I'm talking about, it's very like healthy, if you will,
[2:13] kind of relationship. It's a very good example of, I
[2:17] think, what a relationship should look like.
[2:19] Is this a college experience that you would feel comfortable
[2:24] Scotty being in? Yes.
[2:25] OK see this is all I need. I need to see some ish ish ish
[2:30] but better than ours. A million person.
[2:32] A million. Percent.
[2:34] So Speaking of like steamy fantasy.
[2:36] I'm ready. Our episode's day is about sex.
[2:40] Brought me to the ER. Love there used to be a show.
[2:43] Yes on TLC. I grew up on TLC.
[2:47] Trauma, life in the ER Sex sent me to the ER.
[2:50] I watched every single one of them and this one in particular
[2:54] I would watch with my grandma all the time and her and I would
[2:57] just cackle the whole time. So I'm really excited for this
[3:00] episode because who doesn't like a little steam heat mixed with a
[3:05] little hospital action? Well, and I think that this is
[3:08] exactly what people like, piques curiosity.
[3:12] Yeah. I mean, Even so, people in
[3:13] healthcare were like, we can't get enough of it.
[3:15] So think about people who don't aren't Privy to these things
[3:18] like it's very wild. So I found I did some research,
[3:21] I was looking up some statistics and then I found some questions,
[3:25] some multiple choice questions about sex related injuries.
[3:28] And so I wanted to start off by asking and seeing if you can get
[3:32] them right. I love a quiz in the morning.
[3:35] I'm ready. All right, what is the number
[3:38] one object causing genital foreign body injuries?
[3:41] We have vibrators, rings, vegetables, household tool.
[3:47] I'm going to say household tools for 500.
[3:51] It's actually rings at a whopping 50.7%. 50.7.
[3:58] So half, half of injuries are reported to be causing genital
[4:03] injuries from rings. OK, can I just chime in with a
[4:06] quick little fun fact for this? If you don't realize that cock
[4:11] rings are not supposed to stay on there indefinitely, right?
[4:13] So we see this happen in the ER. I've seen it a handful of.
[4:18] Times right I. Don't think people realize that
[4:21] we do have ring cutters in the emergency room, however they are
[4:24] not strong enough to cut these. So if you get a cock ring stuck
[4:27] on your penis, you. And I'm sorry for saying that
[4:31] word. I hate it Cock.
[4:34] I hate it throaty, but if you get that stuck, the fire
[4:39] department is actually coming to see you because their tools are
[4:42] bigger and better than ours. Our So if you think that you're
[4:45] coming to the ER just to see like one person, you're wrong.
[4:49] I was there one day when that happened and I just felt so bad
[4:53] for the person I did too, because obviously they're just
[4:55] trying to have a little private moment at home and here they're
[4:58] coming to the ER, we're calling in the fire department with
[5:01] their extra hefty dirty tools to cut that thing off like that is
[5:05] just. It sucks.
[5:07] I mean it sucks, and also like we don't blame you for wanting
[5:09] to have a good time at home at all.
[5:11] I just think you need to know the potential repercussions
[5:14] before you do certain things. Totally.
[5:16] OK. Next question.
[5:17] Next question, what percentage of genital foreign objects,
[5:23] excuse me, what percentage of genital foreign object injuries
[5:26] requires hospitalization? So this would mean admitting or
[5:30] surgery, OK. Do I have a?
[5:32] Multiple 5%, twelve percent, 25% or 40%.
[5:36] I'm going to say 12%. You're right.
[5:41] Good job. Which also that's a lot that I
[5:44] mean 12% is a lot for you to be hospitalized.
[5:47] I wonder, I wonder how many of those are surgical.
[5:51] I would say probably the majority because I'm sure it's
[5:53] like foreign objects that are in or things like that where they
[5:57] can't remove things. The only one that I really
[6:00] wonder about is we've talked about this before is like the
[6:03] perforation of it and then you need like IV antibiotics and all
[6:06] that stuff. But I think that's a very low
[6:08] percentage, if I had to guess. Yeah.
[6:10] And it's also like that surprises me because I do feel
[6:13] like anyone and we talked about this in our butt episode, but I
[6:16] feel like the number of perforations would be higher
[6:20] than they are based on what people are putting up there
[6:22] these. People get lucky man, they get
[6:24] so lucky. The things that I see come out
[6:28] non surgically. I'm like I'm mind blown still to
[6:32] this day. It's impressive.
[6:33] Yeah. All right.
[6:34] Last question, which gender counts for most genital foreign
[6:38] object injuries? Males, men or women?
[6:41] Men. Men.
[6:41] What do you think the percentage is?
[6:43] Oh, it's high. It's high.
[6:45] Like percentage male to female. Ratio, Yeah.
[6:49] Oh, I think. Men is like 60%. 69 good job.
[6:54] Yep. I am not shocked by that at all.
[6:57] It's almost always men. The foreign objects that women
[7:00] get are condoms. It's tampons.
[7:05] I mean, primarily it's things like that.
[7:07] Typically it's. Usually not like sexual related
[7:10] injuries. It's usually like what you're
[7:11] talking about, like there's a tampon left in or something.
[7:14] I think that's also due to the fact too, that women for the
[7:18] most part I would say aren't doing things like anally.
[7:24] I mean, they do probably at home, you know what I mean?
[7:26] But like. You mean like they're?
[7:27] Putting things in their vagina. Yeah.
[7:29] And it can come out. It's coming out.
[7:31] Do you know what I mean? It's like not the risk of things
[7:33] getting stuck I feel like isn't as great.
[7:35] Yeah, that's a good point. Do you?
[7:40] Think this is too much information.
[7:42] No, I think, I think to add on to that as we're talking about
[7:46] this, it's like it like this is what I'm thinking in my head is
[7:50] of course because a woman has a vagina, right?
[7:53] And like, that's an obvious fact that I'm saying, but like a man
[7:57] doesn't. And so.
[7:58] They only have one whole. Plan is like the closest thing
[8:00] he's gonna get. Yeah, and those, I mean, OK,
[8:03] let's scientifically go back just a little bit here.
[8:06] I don't think that people also realize that you have said this
[8:11] in our butt episode podcast, that your rectum is a vacuum.
[8:17] You put something up there and it's going all the way.
[8:19] I mean, if it has the option to go all the way, it's going all
[8:22] the way. And I don't think that people
[8:23] realize that before they start, you know, experimenting a little
[8:28] bit with toys, that there's a reason why bases are made on
[8:33] specific objects that go there. Yeah, think of it like sinking
[8:37] sand, like you get so far in and that is just gonna just suck it
[8:41] up and you're not getting that. Bad guy.
[8:43] No, never. Not you're going to surgery.
[8:45] Not naturally you're going to surgery or a lot of the time
[8:48] too. We do like conscious sedation in
[8:50] the ER and we can get it out, sure.
[8:53] Anywho do? You have some good Reddit posts
[8:55] for us. Yes, we do have good Reddit
[8:57] threads and let's read some of those.
[9:00] It says I didn't exactly break my Dick but I ripped the part of
[9:04] the skin that holds your head to your foreskin.
[9:07] I also had a vein so it was bleeding pretty good.
[9:09] Bled for about two to three days after they used this chemical
[9:13] that creates burns to close the wound.
[9:17] I don't know about that but two out of five would not recommend
[9:22] chemical burns on my you know what?
[9:25] I think what they probably used was quick clot.
[9:27] 'Cause it was a bleeding, yeah. And they ripped the skin.
[9:30] So it says I ripped the part of the skin that holds your head to
[9:35] your foreskin. So are we on circumcised?
[9:38] Like that little Ridge? What were you doing that it
[9:40] ripped? Yeah.
[9:42] Did they give that? Information.
[9:43] We have no other information other than he ripped his penis
[9:47] and it was bleeding and I'm sure that they were using quick clot.
[9:50] Quick clot is what we use a lot of the time in the trauma Bay.
[9:53] It'll come out of the trauma Bay, but if you're bleeding
[9:55] really good, it's actually something that they use.
[9:56] They can call it combat gauze. There's quick clot, there's all
[9:59] of this stuff. It's military grade.
[10:01] It comes in like it looks like a dressing, like it looks like
[10:05] Kerouacs almost, but it has a chemical on it that will
[10:10] initially, I mean, it basically what constricts all the blood
[10:13] vessels right there and stops the bleeding.
[10:15] It's pretty effective. It's great, but I've never heard
[10:17] of it stinging. Or burning your skin because we
[10:21] put it inside with these two. I have a friend who had sex with
[10:25] her new guy and she forgot she had a tampon in.
[10:28] She realized after but it was way too far up to reach herself
[10:32] and she didn't want to ask the guy for help because they had
[10:34] just started seeing each other and she was so embarrassed.
[10:37] I mean, how far up did it go? I mean, does it be a question?
[10:42] But could he not feel that you have to go to Yeah also?
[10:46] Did he not see the string? Well, his head might not be down
[10:48] there. I have a lot of.
[10:49] Questions. Feel the string.
[10:51] That's what I'm saying. We get that a lot.
[10:53] And I'm not necessarily from sex, but women like forgetting
[10:57] they had a tampon in, leaving it in for too long, or putting
[11:01] another one in when they already had one in.
[11:03] And so I've been involved in taking care of patients like
[11:06] that where we end up having to do conscious sedations to get
[11:09] them out. And I do feel bad because like
[11:12] we've talked with this, like every woman's had that moment.
[11:14] It's like, wait a minute, jump scare.
[11:16] Do I still have one in from like 2 days ago?
[11:19] I, I, I honestly do that at least once every period because
[11:23] I'm like, it gets, you know, towards the end of your period,
[11:26] it's like it gets kind of hazy where you're like, I know.
[11:30] You gotta get rid of these tampons, they're toxic.
[11:33] Why use all organic? They still are.
[11:35] Toxic. It's August brand tampons.
[11:39] They're my favorite. You can get them from Sprouts.
[11:41] Oh my gosh. My friend and some of his
[11:45] buddies made a trip out to Vegas for a couple of nights doing all
[11:48] the usual stuff. They ended up at a strip club
[11:50] and one of his friends who's a real smooth talker, ended up
[11:53] hitting it off with one of the strippers.
[11:55] The night ends with the two of them going back to his hotel
[11:57] together. A few days later, the whole
[11:59] group's back home. This friend decides, but he
[12:02] needs to see a doctor due to the terrible burning in his penis.
[12:06] After testing negative for all of the usual suspects and the
[12:09] pain not subsiding, the doctor decides he needs to dig a little
[12:14] deeper. Literally.
[12:16] He ended up finding a jalapeno seed lodged in his urethra.
[12:22] I guess the stripper liked Mexican food.
[12:24] And squirrely Dan is squirrely your wreath in your urethra
[12:29] jalapeno. Seed OK, so that's something we
[12:31] haven't talked about, but men shoving things in their.
[12:34] Urethra, yeah. That's like a that's like a
[12:36] whole fetish thing. Do you think that he did that on
[12:39] purpose? The jalapeno seed.
[12:41] I have a personal story on this. I can tell.
[12:43] Oh no. Should I tell it Yeah.
[12:45] Shoving something in urethra? Absolutely.
[12:47] Never but a jalapeno. You can change who it's.
[12:49] About It's about me. Oh, and Nick, Nick and I had had
[12:53] Mexican food for dinner one night and we made it here.
[12:56] Homemade guacamole, like so delicious, right?
[12:58] So I had we were working in the kitchen together cutting up
[13:02] things. It was like before kids when we
[13:04] could like date night and cook together in the kitchen.
[13:06] You remember those times? Sure.
[13:08] Anyway, so the night went on and of course things went back to
[13:12] the bedroom and I things were going on and I flew up out of
[13:18] bed. Nick still had jalapeno on his
[13:20] fingers. And I was like, I this, this has
[13:24] ended the burning. The burning was holy shit.
[13:29] Like I've never felt anything like that in my life.
[13:31] I immediately no residual that sticks around for a while
[13:34] because I've done that. Yes.
[13:35] And I've done that before too with my contacts and it's like
[13:39] horrific. But the night, I mean, we just
[13:43] went to bed. Was that there's?
[13:44] Nothing more. You can.
[13:45] Do screeching halt. Screeching and like immediately
[13:48] into the shower because I was like, something is something is
[13:51] wrong. What do you do?
[13:52] Does water make you feel? Better water made it feel
[13:54] better, but I was like so like there wasn't enough soap in the
[13:57] world ever. But I was like, OK, so case in
[14:01] point, don't eat Mexican food before you decide to go.
[14:04] Have like a little bit of fun with your husband.
[14:07] Oh my gosh. Or put your contacts in.
[14:09] That's a simpler story. This is hilarious.
[14:11] I work in the ER so I've seen a few sex in me to the ER stories.
[14:15] One Halloween we had a couple come in dressed in costume.
[14:18] She was a bumblebee and he was dressed as Mario.
[14:21] I guess they had been at dinner and decided to get a little
[14:23] frisky so they took themselves to the bathroom.
[14:26] She was sitting on the sink and while doing some gland to gland
[14:28] combat this sink broke which caused A7 inch laceration right
[14:37] up one of her butt cheeks. Needless to say she was super
[14:40] embarrassed. We got her fixed up and on their
[14:42] way with a good story to tell. Can you imagine being a
[14:44] bumblebee with? All this, You know what?
[14:46] Hell yeah. I'd be proud if they came in.
[14:49] Like good for you guys still getting crazy in the bathroom.
[14:52] Gland to gland gland. I'm going.
[14:55] To start using that, you know, we haven't heard is a lot about
[14:58] our, we haven't heard any stories about like breaking
[15:01] penises, which is shocking. I know because that does happen
[15:04] that. Happens a lot and actually it's
[15:07] a little bit misleading because the penis doesn't have a bone so
[15:10] you can't break it, but you can tear the tissue when it's erect
[15:14] and that happens and it's like a loud sound, so I've been told.
[15:18] I was going to say it. Do you have?
[15:19] I personally I've never, but I do know fun fact, the most
[15:22] common position that this happens.
[15:24] Do you know? Girls on top reverse cowgirl.
[15:27] Yeah, Yeah. I think it's just because like
[15:29] the way is angled if you if that comes out and you sit back,
[15:32] that's. The thing is, sometimes that's
[15:33] slipping out and you still got that full force going on is.
[15:38] She throwing that thing back. Also, I feel bad the men that
[15:43] come in with this. I mean it obviously you're like
[15:46] breaking your penis, but the way the the amount of pain that
[15:49] they. Are in.
[15:49] I can't imagine. It is like.
[15:51] It's got to be an eighth of childbirth.
[15:55] I know it's wild, but we do see that actually like more common
[16:00] than I thought. And that's, I'm surprised we
[16:02] haven't heard anything about that.
[16:04] Oh well, here's one my girlfriend sat wrong and broke
[16:06] my pee pee. That was the comment there it.
[16:08] Is Yep. What's the treatment though?
[16:09] That's what I don't know. Like there's nothing you can.
[16:12] You don't cast it like no. There's nothing you can do.
[16:14] I think it's. Just rest like pain management
[16:16] and like don't get hurt. Could you imagine?
[16:19] What if they get morning wood? What?
[16:22] Happens. That's a good question.
[16:25] That must be painful. You must have to just like
[16:27] immediately. Just start like being like.
[16:29] Take these thoughts away, my sister.
[16:32] Like anything to get that out of your.
[16:33] Head. Oh gosh.
[16:35] I have a story. I dated somebody who this
[16:37] happened to, not with me. What happened?
[16:39] A previous girlfriend I guess identical story like reverse
[16:44] cowgirl. The whole bit reverse.
[16:45] Cowgirl, the whole bit broke it. So he had to go to the ER.
[16:48] He had to go in and I they must do imaging.
[16:52] I guess I don't know because he had imaging done and they found
[16:55] an incidental mass and he ended up having to have surgery to
[16:59] have this mass. Oh my God, he's so lucky it got
[17:01] broken. I know he would have never
[17:03] known. I know.
[17:03] So he had to have like it removed, like a portion of
[17:07] removed. His penis.
[17:10] I would like a picture. We need to see how this looks.
[17:13] Now I'm very glad for him. Oh my God, what have we?
[17:16] Done. That's like one of those things
[17:18] where it's like. I think it's ACT scan, don't you
[17:21] think? It must have been ACT scan.
[17:23] It can't be an X-ray. What do you do?
[17:24] Flopping your Dick on the tray there?
[17:28] Just put it right here, OK? And then they back out of the
[17:31] room slowly 3. Standing 2.
[17:38] No are. We too comfortable talking.
[17:44] I think people are going to love it.
[17:45] This is going to be another one where the old men are the top
[17:48] viewers. I have a crazy one.
[17:51] OK, that I no, no, no, no. I already told my personal
[17:53] jalapenos story. This I have seen only one time
[17:58] and this was a long, long, long, long, long time ago.
[18:01] At a previous hospital, a man came in clearly, like so
[18:05] uncomfortable. We were like, something is very
[18:08] wrong with you. Medics were concerned they had.
[18:10] Uncomfortable like he was in pain or uncomfortable like he
[18:12] was awkward. No, so much pain, just
[18:14] diaphoretic, like, so sweat pouring everywhere.
[18:17] He just looked ill. And you could tell that medics,
[18:20] medics called in a Code 3 call, but, like, couldn't really give
[18:22] us a distinguishing reason, like, why they were coming code
[18:24] 3. His vitals were stable.
[18:26] But sometimes medics will do that if they're, like,
[18:28] uncomfortable. They're like, we're coming code
[18:30] 3. And there's not much of a story
[18:31] behind it, but you're like, OK, yeah, yeah.
[18:35] And so this guy came in on the Gurney and like that we didn't
[18:39] send him immediately to a recess room because they didn't really
[18:43] have an explanation for their Code 3.
[18:45] So when that happens, we'll kind of eyeball them first to see
[18:48] what we have going on. This guy immediately went to a
[18:52] recess Bay and he was having sex with his wife and dissected.
[18:57] I was just going to say he. That sounds like a AAA.
[19:00] Yep, it was a total total dissection and he ended up being
[19:05] OK. Like they.
[19:07] Well, what was his underlying like?
[19:08] What was his I'm. Sure that there was a history of
[19:11] hypertension or things like that, but the crazy part during
[19:15] all of it was that at one point he looked at his wife or his
[19:18] wife looked at me and was like, I guess we can't get so crazy
[19:20] anymore, honey. Cutest couple you've ever seen
[19:23] in your whole entire life, like angels on earth.
[19:26] And he was like, Oh no, babe, this is just like a Lil Hika.
[19:30] Yeah, we'll be back in action in no time.
[19:32] Like he ain't letting this stop him ever.
[19:34] And I was like, I love you guys so much.
[19:35] Like, you have to live. You have to live.
[19:37] You can't die. But yeah, during sex to have a
[19:41] dissection. Can you imagine how traumatizing
[19:45] for that wife to have that happen like right in the middle
[19:48] of a good time? The.
[19:49] That'll kill the mood. Oh OK, I have a.
[19:52] Would you rather I just thought of?
[19:53] Oh gosh, tell me. Would you rather have to come
[19:58] into your own ER, your own place of work as a trauma where they
[20:02] are going to cut off your clothes?
[20:05] Or would you have to rather have to come into your own place of
[20:09] work with you and Nick with a sex related degree?
[20:12] Oh my God, do I get to pick my drama team?
[20:19] No. Whoever's on is on.
[20:20] That's it. You can take me as a trauma.
[20:22] I was going to say I feel like that either one is exposing you
[20:26] naked or one is embarrassing you and your husband.
[20:28] Yeah, I'm not interested in that at all.
[20:30] At the same time, we all have the same body part.
[20:32] So like, you know what? Take it off.
[20:34] Yeah, take it off. I don't care.
[20:36] Ain't nobody gonna judge me for my 100% cotton.
[20:40] Panties on which there are some wild shit you see in that trauma
[20:44] Bay that people have underneath their clothes.
[20:50] Don't you think so? Have you ever seen it?
[20:54] You could just just stop. There's some wild stuff you see
[20:56] in that trauma. Well.
[20:57] Yeah, but sometimes you're cutting off the clothes.
[20:59] There have been like full lingerie sets.
[21:02] Like I'm not talking like cute bra and panties.
[21:04] No, no, no, no. That's what that's neither here
[21:07] nor there. I'm talking about like full
[21:09] blown lingerie, the whole kit and caboodle.
[21:12] This this the stir up things. You know what I'm talking about
[21:14] where you clip on the. I tried those one time, took me,
[21:19] took about 43 minutes and I was in full sweat.
[21:22] So that's impressive that she had those under her clothes.
[21:25] Well, I'm also impressive that people.
[21:27] I'm also impressive that people wear lingerie anymore.
[21:30] Can we talk about that for just a quick second?
[21:32] We need. To let that go, we need to let
[21:34] that go. There have been a time or two
[21:36] where Nick has been like, why don't you ever put on lingerie
[21:38] anymore? And I'm like, because I'm 37,
[21:41] I'm 37 years old. Those have collected dust in the
[21:44] back of the drawer. And maybe one day I'll whip it
[21:47] out for you. But like, really?
[21:52] Yeah. Yeah.
[21:54] Are you in the same position as I am 1?
[21:56] 100%. My lingerie is a big baggy
[21:58] T-shirt. Maybe no Indies.
[22:00] And I would argue that that's sexier.
[22:03] I think so too. Let me go put on one of your
[22:05] T-shirts. I actually did wear one of my
[22:08] laundry tops when I was pregnant, not to be sexy, but
[22:11] because it was like one of those ones that like, it's like lace
[22:14] but split and it's like so flowy.
[22:16] And I was like, Oh my gosh, this feels so airy.
[22:19] You know, and Ryan was like, holy shit, it's happening.
[22:21] He's like, he's like, let's go, baby.
[22:23] And you're like, hell no. I'm just trying to be
[22:24] comfortable. I know, I know.
[22:27] I'm actually surprised that 50, what did it say 50% was like
[22:32] rings, cochranes, injuries. Because don't you feel like
[22:36] working in the ER, the most common thing we see is foreign
[22:40] objects, yes. So I'm surprised that it's not a
[22:44] higher percentage of that. I have only seen Cochranes a
[22:51] handful of times. I think I've only seen two or
[22:54] three. They always go wrong.
[22:56] Yeah, like I would I would. Steer clear because they leave
[23:00] them on too long. Yeah, I think that's part of the
[23:02] problem. Speaking of the the penis
[23:05] fractures is what they're called.
[23:06] Yeah. So interesting.
[23:09] They're more rare, it says. Want to do my research here?
[23:14] It says they're more rare, but they're extremely dramatic
[23:17] because it says it's a loud popping sound similar to like
[23:20] when a joint dislocates. Oh.
[23:22] God, could you imagine? Immediate swelling because think
[23:24] with all. The blood, That's right.
[23:26] There so massive swelling and it's emergency surgery in in
[23:29] some cases and ER doctors often describe patients arriving after
[23:33] they hear the loud pop. That's the most.
[23:35] Concerning part, yeah, and probably the swelling I didn't
[23:39] realize. That well, you knew, you know
[23:40] immediately, that's what are. They sewing back together.
[23:43] Do you think that they have to put the like the tissue and the
[23:46] cartilage back together maybe, Otherwise it's not going to be
[23:49] able to work well. Yeah.
[23:51] And does it get crooked? Maybe.
[23:55] Also I think a fun fact too for this is priapisms.
[24:00] They haven't touched on that they do come in a decent amount.
[24:04] They can be caused by a couple different medications, Viagra
[24:08] being one. I think Cialis can cause it.
[24:10] I mean any kind of like sex stimulating magic medication can
[24:14] cause that. But I don't think people
[24:17] understand the the treatment for it and how we get rid of it.
[24:20] This was one of the things when I started as a new grad and
[24:24] remembered seeing this for the first time that I was like holy
[24:27] shit like this is wild Because they take 218 gauge needles.
[24:32] Which are big. S 18 gauges are massive.
[24:35] I mean, when you look at that bevel and you can see, you can
[24:38] like see. It's like hollow.
[24:40] Inside of it and they essentially stick those at the
[24:44] base of the penis with A10CC syringe at it and they suck back
[24:49] the blood that is being retained in the penis at the time.
[24:53] That is how they get a preopism resolved and it's like gnarly.
[24:58] Yeah, and, and not comfortable for the patient.
[25:00] Like there's really no way to make that comfortable.
[25:02] However, that's already super painful.
[25:05] So having all that blood in there and like, I don't know
[25:07] what it feels like, but they're already like doubled over in
[25:10] pain and then having to stick the needle in, but then it's
[25:13] like relief. Yes, even as they are getting
[25:16] the blood out, you can see the patient like have like a sense
[25:19] of relief, especially when they've gotten like a decent
[25:21] amount out. But they have to do it to both
[25:22] sides. And I think that's where it's
[25:24] like, you already know what you have going in on one side, like
[25:27] after the first side gets done and like the thought of having
[25:29] to do it again. Yeah.
[25:31] Horrible. I dated a guy once who had like
[25:33] a sports car like a fast red flash cart.
[25:37] So many red flags including this.
[25:39] He had a custom license plate that said prior prison.
[25:42] You dated him? Yeah.
[25:44] Has this been discussed in therapy?
[25:47] Yes. Never again a whole episode in.
[25:52] My dating history. I know you know what, it was a
[25:57] time. A time was had.
[25:58] She learned her lesson. Yeah, a lot of them.
[26:00] But we, we are better because of it.
[26:03] Look at us now. We are so much better and for
[26:07] any young girl out there, don't ever date somebody who has a
[26:11] license plate about that. Please don't date anybody that
[26:14] has a flashy sports car. I'm sorry if you do but I'm not
[26:19] interested. Or like a jacked up lifted
[26:23] truck. He also had a jacked up.
[26:25] His other vehicle was a jacked up.
[26:27] Of course it. Will.
[26:28] Carly, any who, I'm just exposing all of my secrets.
[26:31] OK, well, I mean, I exposed mine.
[26:36] Let's see. OK, lots of foreskin tearing.
[26:40] I've never seen that. I didn't.
[26:44] I'm curious about that. I never really thought about
[26:47] that as an injury because I just think naturally the foreskin
[26:50] will get retracted. I thought so too.
[26:52] Doesn't it get retracted when it gets hard?
[26:55] When your penis gets hard, your foreskin is going to retract.
[26:58] It should. So is there extra foreskin?
[27:01] I don't know. Oh no.
[27:03] I went to Jack off with a new lotion at a friend's house.
[27:07] Apparently I was allergic. My penis started to swell up.
[27:10] Freaked out friend's house, yes. So I washed it off with soap and
[27:14] water, stuffed him back in my pants, checked on it
[27:18] periodically and acted like nothing was happening.
[27:20] After an hour or two, the swelling subsided.
[27:22] Crisis averted. Why were you jacking off at your
[27:26] friend's house? Like I couldn't have waited.
[27:29] That was like the first thought I had.
[27:30] I'm like, hold on. You're that hungry to Jack off?
[27:34] Oh my gosh, your poor. Friend for you, I'm very
[27:37] concerned about somebody who wrote this.
[27:41] I don't know about going to the ER, but I have masturbated so
[27:44] ferociously that parts of my Dick develop scabs.
[27:48] What is wrong with you? OK.
[27:52] OK, so something that I feel like we see a lot in the ER
[27:56] it's. Disgusting do.
[27:58] You know what? I'm going.
[27:59] To say yes, of course I do. It's so gross so.
[28:01] Gross. When people are on
[28:03] methamphetamines they're like hype.
[28:06] They could be hypersexual, so they just have to basturbate men
[28:11] and women in the halls, in the hallway, no privacy, people
[28:16] walking by and they're just going at it.
[28:18] It's. Hours.
[28:20] And, like, I have to be like, you need to stop doing that.
[28:22] Yeah. And it gets to the point where
[28:24] you're like, are we gonna have to restrain you like?
[28:26] Sometimes they're so like kind about it where like you're like
[28:32] walking up to them and being like, hey, this is it.
[28:35] Like you have to stop it. And they'll look at you and be
[28:37] like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
[28:39] And I'm like, bro, there are children walking around.
[28:42] You're literally. And 47 people watching.
[28:46] But they always have like a blanket on.
[28:48] And you see that blanket just, like going up and down.
[28:50] And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me right now?
[28:52] Like of all places, now's the time.
[28:54] Yeah, let's. Stop.
[28:55] It's just it's. Disgusting.
[28:57] OK, so I have some more just rapid fire statistics which are
[29:01] so surprising to me because working in the ER, this is not
[29:06] like what I feel like we see mostly, but this is what it's
[29:09] telling me. It's saying that estimated
[29:12] 13,170 genital foreign object injuries were treated in the US
[29:18] EE R between 2011 and 2020. So 10 years, 13. 1000.
[29:23] For foreign object injuries. So not sex related injuries
[29:27] necessarily, just foreign objects.
[29:29] I think there'd be. More I me too, which makes me
[29:31] feel like that's underreported. Do you feel like our hospital
[29:33] just sees a lot? There's probably concentrated
[29:36] areas for sure. Rings cause over half of that
[29:39] which we talked about. Zippers account for 17.1% of
[29:44] genital foreign object injury. Have you?
[29:47] Seen a zipper injury? Oh, like an accident.
[29:50] There's a with a man. Yeah, yeah.
[29:52] Oh, it's getting. So bad it reminds me of There's
[29:55] Something About Mary. Yeah, play 123 pens and pencils
[30:05] cause 10.3% of injuries, which I think this is the urethra thing
[30:10] I was going. To say, is that accidental or
[30:12] are those the shoving of them? Yeah, pencils are a big thing.
[30:14] Shoving things in their urethra specifically for men, Yep of
[30:17] course is very similar to when people put objects rectally.
[30:23] It's like a weird like fetish that's just that feel that's got
[30:27] to feel like a UTI. I mean, that can't feel good at
[30:29] all. There was one story I heard one
[30:31] time of construction nails like someone was hyper fixated on
[30:35] like the long like Carpenter nails.
[30:38] No. Nearly 12% of foreign object
[30:41] injuries required hospitalization and about 90% of
[30:45] patients were treated and released the same day, which I
[30:47] do feel like it's more common. Even if they have like a
[30:50] conscious sedation, for them you're still going home the same
[30:52] day. Yeah, it's.
[30:53] Wild. I will say it is a decent amount
[30:56] because there's so much that we didn't cover on here like
[30:59] Lockjaw or TMJ problems. We see those all the time and
[31:03] and like. Head injuries or falls, yes.
[31:06] Like not necessarily genital focus, but there's agrees from
[31:09] sex. Slipping in the shower, I mean,
[31:11] that's like a decent one that we've seen, whether it's like a
[31:13] simple sprained ankle or things like that.
[31:15] I mean, it does happen, yeah. But I think the number one thing
[31:19] like like both of us working in the ER, if you come in for a sex
[31:22] injury, just be on. Well, it's got to be
[31:25] embarrassing like it. Has to be and.
[31:28] I can understand like not wanting to divulge that, but
[31:32] again, like that guy that came into like something's wrong.
[31:35] We don't know Like he didn't have anything weird going on as
[31:38] far as like something stuck in him, but like if you're you
[31:42] could be sick, sick or time could be important.
[31:45] And so you need to say what's going on.
[31:47] Yeah, if you we can laugh about it later, but we need to save
[31:49] your life first. Well.
[31:50] There are people that will come in and not say anything.
[31:52] They'll say something simplistic like abdominal pain, but not
[31:55] tell us anything until we get. Six dildos up their butt.
[32:00] Wait, then we get the CT scan back and the doctor has to go in
[32:02] and be like, OK, so we have to have a conversation here.
[32:06] Like, there's a little bit more to it.
[32:07] You have something stuck in there.
[32:08] Can we go back to that? And the patient's always like,
[32:11] Oh, well, yes, of course. About that.
[32:13] Like, let's just say it. The other thing that I guess is
[32:17] surprising, maybe not, is that the most of these are patients
[32:20] in their 30s, with the average age being 36.
[32:24] I know these are our people. These are This Is Us.
[32:27] Oh my God, I live a very boring life I think compared to these
[32:30] people. That's kind of surprising to me.
[32:34] I thought it would be older. I thought it would be.
[32:36] Younger. Really.
[32:37] Yeah, because I think that people in their 20s and early
[32:41] 30s are still OK experimenting with everything.
[32:44] Or I feel like as you get older, you know what you like.
[32:46] Their friend. Works not developed.
[32:47] Correct, correct. And so I thought it would be
[32:50] younger, but I will say shockingly, there is like a
[32:55] decent amount of an older population that still does this.
[33:00] And when I say older, I mean like 70s.
[33:05] Like old, old, Yeah. Well, I mean, hey, teach their
[33:08] own. And honestly, there are certain
[33:10] things that I feel like that I should keep in my back pocket
[33:13] because, you know, there's going to come a day when you've been
[33:14] with your husband for years and years and years, and you'll be
[33:16] like, OK, fine, we can finally try that.
[33:19] Yeah, let's take it out. Let's take it up a notch.
[33:20] Let's take it up a notch here in our 60s.
[33:23] If we're still kicking at 75, like we can pull one of those
[33:26] tricks out of the hat, but. With the right safety
[33:29] precautions, yeah. So we're not ending up in our
[33:31] ER. Always a base if I've learned
[33:33] one thing. Oh, please don't ever, don't
[33:37] ever do anything without a base. If you guys don't know yet, we
[33:40] have a website. It is so exciting and it's so
[33:43] cute. I know Mike did a phenomenal job
[33:46] with it. It is just simply the ER
[33:48] edit.com, but that is where you guys can go and submit all of
[33:52] your submissions for the whisper line.
[33:53] Yes, and they are anonymous and it's more of like a secure place
[33:57] where you can write as much as you want.
[33:59] I know on Instagram you're limited to characters and so you
[34:02] can just free write us all of your things and we've been
[34:04] getting some good ones. Oh my God, the things that you
[34:07] guys have seen, heard or done yourselves are so good.
[34:11] So that is what we're going to be talking about next week on
[34:14] next on next week's podcast. But also we are going to kind of
[34:18] like loop it in with some criminal cases.
[34:20] We're true crime girlies at heart and so we found some crazy
[34:25] stories, worries about crime within healthcare.
[34:28] So we're going to dive into some of those stories and bring back
[34:30] the whisper line, but. If you guys have any submissions
[34:33] before next week, go ahead and go over to our website.
[34:36] You guys can submit them there. We read every single one, and
[34:39] maybe yours will be read. See you next week, guys.
[34:41] Bye guys, bye.

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