# 'I Turned Down Anna Wintour And I'd Do It Again'

An episode of [Unleashed](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1868862473), 4 May 2026, 48 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/0dcc3a7a-affa-4f23-8243-b3b501742f5a/33306d6c-742c-489f-b7b9-b43b006a0310/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=61e25ede-2350-47ce-91f5-b3b50174346d

Grace sent a vicious bitch session about her assistant… directly to the assistant. Then crawled out of the office on all fours. Cath sent a spicy message to an entire WhatsApp group of under-11 soccer parents and is still avoiding eye contact at training. Ginny proposed hardcore sex on the family chat, sandwiched between her mother-in-law's prayer messages. And Mary accidentally told a business meeting she loved them. Oops. And what white goods give you a wide-on? Because Mary is evangelical about the power hose and Ginny has feelings about a colander with flaps. Plus a listener is having better sex with her bedside drawer than her husband of 25 years. Dr Ginny has thoughts. In your ears today: Grace Lam, Ginni Mansberg, Cath Mahoney and Mary Coustas The End Bits: Follow us on Instagram, DM us thoughts, feelings and questions @unleashed.show Love the show? Hit follow on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Gen X women find us. This show was produced and created by Mia Freedman Created and developed by Monique Bowley The Executive Producer is Monique Bowley Senior Producer and Audio Editor is Tina Matolov Social Media Producer Coco Lavigne SUBSCRIBE here: Support independent women's media Did you know some of our shows are now in video on the Apple Podcast app? Make sure your phone is up to date and check it out here! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:08] Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm onma Mia podcast. Hello and welcome
[0:21] Speaker 1: to Unleashed, the podcast for gen X women who just
[0:24] Speaker 1: need a second to breathe. Yep, We're your official escape
[0:28] Speaker 1: from the to do list, the should does, and the
[0:32] Speaker 1: general shit show of daily life. We're here for the laughs,
[0:35] Speaker 1: the occasional gut punch, and lots of stories you probably
[0:39] Speaker 1: shouldn't tell your mother. So who's at the table today?
[0:44] Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Mary Kustas, I'm an actress, I'm Jinny Mensberg.
[0:47] Speaker 3: I am a gp Horrah.
[0:49] Speaker 4: Her Rang, I am Brislyn, and I is a fashion stylist.
[0:54] Speaker 1: Peace write wherever you're listening. Unclenched your jewel, clench your
[0:59] Speaker 1: pelvic floor, and get ready to unleash Woo in my hand.
[1:06] Speaker 1: I have the talking now. If you're new to the show,
[1:09] Speaker 1: the talking stick is the device that we use so
[1:12] Speaker 1: that we can talk about whatever we want. Whoever has
[1:14] Speaker 1: the talking stick basically has the floor. The rest of
[1:17] Speaker 1: us can take the piss out of whatever the person
[1:19] Speaker 1: is saying, interrupt and totally disagree. Who wants the stick?
[1:23] Speaker 4: Me me me me me RAI slam then c kerth, Honey,
[1:28] Speaker 4: what is the worst text you've ever sent to someone
[1:32] Speaker 4: ever that you regret. Let me go first. So when
[1:37] Speaker 4: I was at China, we had a brilliant office assistant
[1:42] Speaker 4: who was very efficient, but she was very bossy and
[1:46] Speaker 4: very nosy. So then one day me and the beauty
[1:50] Speaker 4: editor were set side by site in a very long desk,
[1:53] Speaker 4: and we're good friends, so I always talked to her.
[1:55] Speaker 4: Do you remember MSN? So we were chatting on MSN.
[1:59] Speaker 4: So the officer's assistant did sounding really annoying, like bossy
[2:03] Speaker 4: again whatever, right, So I was trying to bitch her
[2:05] Speaker 4: out on the D and I wrote an essay and
[2:09] Speaker 4: send her to the beauty editor.
[2:10] Speaker 1: And I was like.
[2:11] Speaker 4: Typing, typing, and I looked at her. No reaction, and
[2:14] Speaker 4: I kept typing more, why are you not looking at
[2:17] Speaker 4: my message? Nothing? Then I was like like this, pointed
[2:20] Speaker 4: a computer. She was like what, I accidentally send it
[2:23] Speaker 4: to my office assistant?
[2:25] Speaker 1: No? No, fuck?
[2:28] Speaker 4: Oh come on, I was like, oh my god, no.
[2:32] Speaker 4: You know when that moment, yes, I started sweating, like
[2:35] Speaker 4: cold sweat. I'm not joking.
[2:37] Speaker 1: I was.
[2:37] Speaker 4: I hit underneath the desk for ten minutes because I
[2:40] Speaker 4: was like, what shall I do? What shall I do?
[2:42] Speaker 4: And my beauty editor I was.
[2:43] Speaker 1: Like, just leave, go, go in the country.
[2:46] Speaker 4: I was so embarrassed and like dying inside. I literally
[2:50] Speaker 4: crawl on my all fours so that the officers couldn't
[2:52] Speaker 4: see me leave. I was in my Christian boutin hill
[2:55] Speaker 4: and like slim County design address. I literally crawl out
[2:58] Speaker 4: of the office in shame. I felt so bad because
[3:02] Speaker 4: she's helpful, but she's.
[3:02] Speaker 2: Just nosy And did she ever say anything?
[3:05] Speaker 4: She didn't, she didn't didn't. People were not very good
[3:08] Speaker 4: with confrontations with me. Why, But I actually love confrontations
[3:14] Speaker 4: if you I love I love commentations because if if
[3:19] Speaker 4: that's an elephant in the room, I like to address
[3:21] Speaker 4: it because I'm just that kind of person. Can we
[3:22] Speaker 4: solve this problem or not? I'm not gonna let it
[3:25] Speaker 4: slide because I don't. I think it's better to problem solve.
[3:28] Speaker 4: That's my theory in life. But most people don't do confrontations, well,
[3:32] Speaker 4: especially I guess with this resting bitch face. It's not easy.
[3:36] Speaker 4: But I love confrontation. So if you've got problem with me,
[3:38] Speaker 4: fucking tell me, okay.
[3:39] Speaker 1: And just scam the shit out me.
[3:42] Speaker 4: Just looking at me anyway, I literally crawl out the
[3:46] Speaker 4: office in shame and then for the whole night, and
[3:49] Speaker 4: I felt so bad for the whole night. I called
[3:51] Speaker 4: up all my girlfriends. They came out and I was
[3:53] Speaker 4: telling them the story. So my emotions went really high
[3:56] Speaker 4: and low for like next three hours, just going, I'm
[3:59] Speaker 4: such a bit. You know why am I such a bit?
[4:01] Speaker 4: She's really helpful. I know she's nosy to.
[4:03] Speaker 3: You know what.
[4:04] Speaker 1: She works for me.
[4:05] Speaker 3: You know I can do what I want.
[4:07] Speaker 4: And my guy friends just looked at me, going, I
[4:10] Speaker 4: think you need to drink this and just kill I
[4:14] Speaker 4: think you need to go home.
[4:16] Speaker 1: You're okay?
[4:17] Speaker 4: Yeah, So that was my story.
[4:18] Speaker 2: Seeing as though you liked a problem solve When you
[4:20] Speaker 2: went back the next day, did you say we need
[4:23] Speaker 2: to address the elephant yesterday's room?
[4:25] Speaker 4: So no, because at that point I kind of felt like,
[4:29] Speaker 4: you know what, I am technically your boss, so let's
[4:33] Speaker 4: just leave it there. I'm always right, you're always wrong.
[4:37] Speaker 4: So that was, you know, one incident. What about you, Katina, Honey.
[4:41] Speaker 1: Oh, I've had a couple and one of my favorites
[4:44] Speaker 1: didn't actually involve me. It was when I was courting
[4:47] Speaker 1: my ex husband and we were early days of kind
[4:49] Speaker 1: of the romance and I wouldn't say it was sexting,
[4:52] Speaker 1: but you know, it was kind of a little bit
[4:54] Speaker 1: sort of spicy. And he sent it to the CEO
[4:57] Speaker 1: of the record company I worked for. I don't know,
[5:00] Speaker 1: by accident. Maybe he did a few drinks, maybe a
[5:03] Speaker 1: couple of sherryes, and he sent that one that I
[5:07] Speaker 1: remember the most that I did, And I was so
[5:09] Speaker 1: glad for the delete all option on WhatsApp. WhatsApp groups,
[5:14] Speaker 1: It's tricky, isn't it. On the one hand, it's like
[5:17] Speaker 1: school canteen kind of roster. On the other hand, if
[5:20] Speaker 1: you're dating, it's you know, could be some photos, and
[5:23] Speaker 1: I did. I sent him. I sent a saucy reply
[5:27] Speaker 1: to a gentleman I was hoping to be saucy with
[5:31] Speaker 1: that went to Lewis's sports. Well, just you know, it's
[5:41] Speaker 1: just not the same as it. It's kind of under
[5:44] Speaker 1: eleven soccer as opposed to Jeff that you were hoping
[5:48] Speaker 1: you'd be getting saucy time with. Anyway, what about you, Jenny?
[5:50] Speaker 1: Moving on?
[5:50] Speaker 4: Wait, wait a minute, I need to know what is
[5:53] Speaker 4: the response from that group?
[5:55] Speaker 1: Chet No, I got to delete it in time. I mean,
[5:59] Speaker 1: you don't know who's seen it, do you? When there's
[6:00] Speaker 1: like twenty parents.
[6:01] Speaker 2: You know, the ones that aren't making icon, all the.
[6:06] Speaker 1: Ones that are making much.
[6:08] Speaker 5: You can click on the message and see who's read it. Oh,
[6:11] Speaker 5: but I did the delete, and I did the delete all.
[6:13] Speaker 4: Yes, anyway, any deck cops are going.
[6:16] Speaker 1: Hi care not yet always open. Was now seventeen. We're
[6:23] Speaker 1: still waiting. But this is a lesson to anyone listening
[6:27] Speaker 1: at home. Don't have multi chats on at the same
[6:29] Speaker 1: time on WhatsApp. That's a bit hard. Well, but you
[6:32] Speaker 1: just take it, you know, if it's a saucy one,
[6:35] Speaker 1: really sort of think about control or delete.
[6:38] Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, I did something similar, but I was nowhere
[6:42] Speaker 5: near as quick as you, and I didn't delete it
[6:44] Speaker 5: in time.
[6:46] Speaker 1: What happened.
[6:47] Speaker 5: We have a huge family WhatsApp with everybody in my
[6:52] Speaker 5: husband's family of multiple generations going to be young children,
[6:56] Speaker 5: and my lovely mother in law who tend to send
[6:59] Speaker 5: like lovely prayers, prayers and lovely wishes of love and
[7:03] Speaker 5: wellbeing for all the world.
[7:07] Speaker 3: And I was feeling.
[7:08] Speaker 5: Really amorous towards my husband and propositioned him for some
[7:12] Speaker 5: hard core sex into the wrong through and I didn't
[7:17] Speaker 5: see it in time to delete it. Before my mother
[7:20] Speaker 5: in law had seen it. Oh my god, no, and
[7:22] Speaker 5: I just couldn't look at her.
[7:23] Speaker 2: Did she say anything, never said a.
[7:26] Speaker 5: Word, but I think until that point she might have
[7:28] Speaker 5: thought that we just held hands.
[7:30] Speaker 3: Oh, but you know, she's we're on good terms. It's
[7:32] Speaker 3: all good now.
[7:33] Speaker 1: But I'm just.
[7:34] Speaker 3: Generally such a boomer.
[7:35] Speaker 5: I just tend to like write things that are not
[7:38] Speaker 5: actually intelligible in English.
[7:41] Speaker 1: But he did this time, well that time I did.
[7:43] Speaker 5: But just as a general rule, anything that I type
[7:46] Speaker 5: is like, it's not actual English.
[7:49] Speaker 3: And then somebody goes, what are you trying to say?
[7:50] Speaker 3: And I don't know. I can't even remember anymore like that.
[7:52] Speaker 2: Well, doctors aren't supposed to have good handwriting, So you've
[7:55] Speaker 2: done that. In the texting world, Yeah, yeah, what about
[7:58] Speaker 2: you math, Well, I had a meeting, a business meeting
[8:01] Speaker 2: with someone who I did not know, but I was
[8:04] Speaker 2: running late or they were running late. I don't remember
[8:06] Speaker 2: exactly what, but I do remember that I was responding
[8:09] Speaker 2: to a different text. But I sent I love you
[8:11] Speaker 2: to that person and Santa, you know you triple m
[8:20] Speaker 2: and I made some sort of joke and got away
[8:22] Speaker 2: with it.
[8:22] Speaker 5: But you, being a comedian, it can just go, oh,
[8:26] Speaker 5: you don't get it?
[8:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone else?
[8:30] Speaker 3: Wasn't it a week comedian?
[8:31] Speaker 1: Was it your fingers typing? Is that why?
[8:33] Speaker 4: Or you just send it to a wrong person, just
[8:35] Speaker 4: wrong person?
[8:35] Speaker 2: My god, no, no, no, you know I wouldn't say
[8:38] Speaker 2: I anything to someone I just met. No l words,
[8:41] Speaker 2: go anywhere near a business meeting, no text. So anyway,
[8:46] Speaker 2: it was very didn't.
[8:47] Speaker 3: Go well, Like did you actually turn him around?
[8:50] Speaker 4: Like?
[8:50] Speaker 5: Is he now like your business part? Have you made
[8:52] Speaker 5: like ten million dollars out.
[8:53] Speaker 1: Of this guy?
[8:54] Speaker 3: Is it a strategy we should all start to employ.
[8:56] Speaker 2: I use jokes all the time. I use a joke
[8:58] Speaker 2: as I get out of jail free card constantly. It's
[9:00] Speaker 2: just how my my mind works. So I yeah, I
[9:03] Speaker 2: try to use a negative as a positive. I don't
[9:05] Speaker 2: even remember how I recovered that one.
[9:07] Speaker 1: I remember I used to think loll was lots of love. Ye,
[9:11] Speaker 1: Peter would do lolls on els. I'd go love love
[9:15] Speaker 1: caf like.
[9:17] Speaker 3: What I love?
[9:20] Speaker 1: That is so cute? It's true. What a dork. It's
[9:24] Speaker 1: very confusing, isn't it being our generation?
[9:27] Speaker 5: I think we have a theme here though, and I
[9:29] Speaker 5: think don't talk about love, don't talk about sex in
[9:33] Speaker 5: a group chat ever, like on what savage just doesn't belong?
[9:38] Speaker 4: Who?
[9:38] Speaker 5: Well, I just stick Okay, I want to ask you
[9:40] Speaker 5: all what white goods give you a wide on sexy.
[9:47] Speaker 1: Let me tell you I have two very close friends.
[9:50] Speaker 1: One is my sister in nor Fiona, and one is
[9:53] Speaker 1: one of my bestie's Beth. Both Unlesia's or love listening,
[9:58] Speaker 1: love you Now. Neither of them are very gushy. They
[10:01] Speaker 1: don't like lyrical. You know, less is more when you're
[10:04] Speaker 1: talking to them. So when the two of them both
[10:08] Speaker 1: gushed and I'm talking like gushed about a product I listened.
[10:14] Speaker 1: It's called the robo rockbo cock or robo cop, but
[10:26] Speaker 1: it is not called that. It is called the robo
[10:29] Speaker 1: rock and it is a robot vacuum cleaner that cleans
[10:33] Speaker 1: your floor. So my sister and nor Fiona, she is
[10:37] Speaker 1: obsessed with this thing. She's called him Reggie Reginald. Beth
[10:41] Speaker 1: doesn't have a name for hers, but she has frothed
[10:45] Speaker 1: the light fandango about this thing so much so that
[10:48] Speaker 1: she's made me buy one. So mine arrived. What have
[10:53] Speaker 1: you called it? I've called him Carson from Downtown Abbey.
[10:57] Speaker 1: So he's going to be like my butler, except I
[11:00] Speaker 1: can't get the fucking thing to work. It only arrived
[11:04] Speaker 1: to be fair yesterday, and you have to It's not
[11:07] Speaker 1: like a normal vacuum. It's got an app. It wants
[11:10] Speaker 1: to It wants to map out your house. It can mop,
[11:12] Speaker 1: it can work out different levels. It can go up,
[11:15] Speaker 1: it can go down. It's incredible. But anyway, I couldn't
[11:18] Speaker 1: find my teustraal WiFi password and so Carson is still
[11:22] Speaker 1: in his box.
[11:23] Speaker 5: I do have some downsides that I need to mention.
[11:27] Speaker 5: Anyone who's been on social media might have seen the
[11:29] Speaker 5: dog poo that was half picked up by one of
[11:32] Speaker 5: these vacuum robot things and then washed into the floor,
[11:36] Speaker 5: like you know, so.
[11:37] Speaker 3: You basically spread the dog poop evenly across the kitchen floor.
[11:41] Speaker 1: And I'm just not there for that. My reason not
[11:44] Speaker 1: to get a pet for me and lewis then you'll
[11:47] Speaker 1: have the vacuum, but no pet. Anything that that sort
[11:51] Speaker 1: of You love may in the West Team.
[11:53] Speaker 2: Big Fan, as most listeners would know, Greeks lover hose.
[11:58] Speaker 2: We love to concrete as far as the eye can see.
[12:00] Speaker 2: We love to wash things down. My mother's like that
[12:03] Speaker 2: about her downstairs a little flabby garage. She's looking that
[12:08] Speaker 2: thing a couple of times a day and keeping it
[12:10] Speaker 2: nice and fresh. I love a hose, but more than that,
[12:13] Speaker 2: I love a power hose, my pressure washer. If you
[12:19] Speaker 2: don't have the experience with an electric power hose, you
[12:24] Speaker 2: have not lived the before and after shot when you
[12:27] Speaker 2: use this power hose. I usually use it outside obviously
[12:30] Speaker 2: the car fine use. You can use it on a car,
[12:34] Speaker 2: the tires, but mostly not on the dog, never skin.
[12:41] Speaker 2: Just asking watch tiled flows or concrete outside. You know,
[12:45] Speaker 2: the before and after shot appears within seconds. I cannot
[12:49] Speaker 2: recommend it enough, that's how much happiness it brings.
[12:52] Speaker 1: I borrowed one from Bunning's. Like when you hie them,
[12:55] Speaker 1: they are instant gratification. You try, because you just see
[12:58] Speaker 1: the filth come off the concrete, don't you That's quite lovely?
[13:02] Speaker 1: What about you, Dot Jinny.
[13:03] Speaker 3: I'm not a white goods kind of fan.
[13:06] Speaker 5: I can't kind of they feel perfunctory things for me,
[13:08] Speaker 5: like you know, a fridge is a fridge whatever. But
[13:10] Speaker 5: I do have a calendar that I'm a bit of
[13:13] Speaker 5: a fan of. I have a calendar that I feel like,
[13:17] Speaker 5: oh my god, I feel.
[13:18] Speaker 3: Like such a nerd saying this, I'm a duet.
[13:20] Speaker 5: But anyway, this calendar stretches to fit the sink, so
[13:30] Speaker 5: that like I don't have time to like be washing
[13:35] Speaker 5: berries and tomatoes and douchinies one at a time. I
[13:38] Speaker 5: dumped the entire fucking chop into the into the calendar.
[13:41] Speaker 5: I run the hose all over it, not you know,
[13:43] Speaker 5: the kitchen sink, and like in ten seconds, I've washed everything.
[13:46] Speaker 5: That is a very efficient calendar. And then when I finished,
[13:50] Speaker 5: I dry it and it kind of concertinas back into
[13:55] Speaker 5: something that fits into a fraction of my kitchen cupboard.
[13:58] Speaker 1: Where are we getting this Amazon.
[14:01] Speaker 3: Expandable calendar and it expands to fit your entire sink?
[14:05] Speaker 2: I don't even I can't even get my head around it.
[14:07] Speaker 2: What is it clinging on to? What is what is
[14:09] Speaker 2: the hand thing? What's it? Because most sinks go into
[14:13] Speaker 2: the bench top, so it doesn't have it hangs off
[14:16] Speaker 2: because it's.
[14:16] Speaker 5: Got some some kind of arm flats. Oh my god,
[14:20] Speaker 5: this thing is it's cold flaps and the flats kind
[14:24] Speaker 5: of just hang on to the edge of your sink.
[14:27] Speaker 4: Is it plastic though, it's plastic?
[14:31] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still in I'm sewing.
[14:34] Speaker 3: This is the most efficient thing ever. I bought it
[14:36] Speaker 3: on Amazon and it's like ten bucks life.
[14:39] Speaker 1: Your mum love this. Mary Cristas, isn't she all about
[14:41] Speaker 1: a clean sink?
[14:42] Speaker 2: She is about a clean sink. She lives at the sink.
[14:45] Speaker 2: She just sleeps in a bed, but she spends the
[14:48] Speaker 2: majority of her life at the sink. Yeah. But I'm
[14:52] Speaker 2: a bit grace like I like a metal colander. And
[14:56] Speaker 2: you know what, I'm not a cut corner type of
[14:57] Speaker 2: thing person at all. I don't dry things. I'm not
[15:01] Speaker 2: a fan of drying things.
[15:03] Speaker 1: It's water.
[15:03] Speaker 2: I just put it straight in the cupboard. Even the
[15:05] Speaker 2: cutlery I just chucked straight in.
[15:06] Speaker 3: The controversy corner, not.
[15:09] Speaker 2: Straight from the running water. I'll put it upright. But
[15:12] Speaker 2: then now on.
[15:14] Speaker 1: The draining board. See I'm hearing what you're saying, do you, Drynani?
[15:19] Speaker 1: Of course?
[15:20] Speaker 2: Well you mean get the towel in there and likeolly
[15:23] Speaker 2: while I'm there, or.
[15:24] Speaker 4: Hey, you do you? I just I've got a smart
[15:26] Speaker 4: observationion here. So when doctor Juni and both you Marricus Couz, Yes,
[15:31] Speaker 4: when you said the word hose, you just looked at me.
[15:35] Speaker 2: We didn't say ho we said, hose.
[15:40] Speaker 4: How do you know?
[15:44] Speaker 1: How do you know?
[15:46] Speaker 4: So on that note, I want to tell you all
[15:49] Speaker 4: that that was the first thing I bought when I
[15:51] Speaker 4: lived in Perth. What that vacuum cleaner?
[15:53] Speaker 1: What did you call yours?
[15:55] Speaker 4: I didn't because I didn't use it? What only because
[15:58] Speaker 4: it was all over the news. I'm surprised you didn't
[16:00] Speaker 4: see this. That people can scam into it and look
[16:04] Speaker 4: into your home and it's a bit weird. So I
[16:07] Speaker 4: actually gave mine away. Wait wait, wait, you know they
[16:10] Speaker 4: have cameras in there and I do.
[16:14] Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how they map your room.
[16:16] Speaker 4: Exactly so and your jewelry.
[16:19] Speaker 1: I'm surprised.
[16:20] Speaker 4: I'm not an Aussie and I saw this on your news.
[16:23] Speaker 4: It's an aussy news. Did you not see it?
[16:25] Speaker 1: It might have been fake news. Listen, all they're going
[16:27] Speaker 1: to see is my seventeen year old, which they are
[16:29] Speaker 1: welcome to, and some of the stuff down the back
[16:33] Speaker 1: of the IQA. So for that, you know, no one
[16:34] Speaker 1: needs to see. All I can say.
[16:36] Speaker 4: All I can say is don't do it a double
[16:38] Speaker 4: pee while the vacuums aren't, because.
[16:41] Speaker 3: You don't work on the floor and do a double pay. Yeah,
[16:43] Speaker 3: you maybe do it on the bed.
[16:45] Speaker 2: But those that don't know a double P, it's a Panani.
[16:48] Speaker 4: Party exactly which I call it. You know, you make
[16:51] Speaker 4: yourself happy downstairs, so don't do that. So I actually
[16:54] Speaker 4: got rid of mine immediately because I didn't want scammers
[16:58] Speaker 4: to look into my home.
[16:59] Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not as bothered about that as I am
[17:01] Speaker 1: about clean floors.
[17:03] Speaker 4: Update us.
[17:03] Speaker 1: Thank you, I will okay, who wants to stick?
[17:18] Speaker 3: Oh?
[17:19] Speaker 1: I do dot Jenny? Okay.
[17:22] Speaker 5: I want to know, girls, what big life moments caught
[17:28] Speaker 5: you by surprise that you were not expecting, totally caught
[17:32] Speaker 5: you off guard. So, in case anyone doesn't know, I
[17:36] Speaker 5: recently became a grandmother twice congrats, And I've got two
[17:41] Speaker 5: little granddaughters, Sasha and Josie. And people tell you that
[17:47] Speaker 5: it's very emotional, and people tell you that it's the
[17:49] Speaker 5: best thing that ever happens to you. For me, I
[17:52] Speaker 5: was really caught off guard. I'm not generally that emotional
[17:58] Speaker 5: a person. But there is something about watching your son
[18:03] Speaker 5: hold his little girl and kiss her and say I
[18:08] Speaker 5: love you, I love you so much, and it makes
[18:11] Speaker 5: you fall in love with your child.
[18:16] Speaker 1: Again.
[18:17] Speaker 3: And then this.
[18:17] Speaker 5: Little baby, it's like all of the joy and all
[18:22] Speaker 5: of the love is poured into this new family. I
[18:26] Speaker 5: have found it completely overwhelming in a way that I
[18:29] Speaker 5: just didn't expect.
[18:31] Speaker 1: I knew I would love the babies.
[18:33] Speaker 5: And I do, but I didn't expect to fall in
[18:36] Speaker 5: love with my sons over again as much as I have,
[18:40] Speaker 5: and my daughter's in law, like, just looking at these
[18:44] Speaker 5: women who have brought so much happiness to my sons
[18:48] Speaker 5: and watching them with their daughters, it's just been quite
[18:52] Speaker 5: overwhelming and quite hard to explain.
[18:55] Speaker 4: So have you told your sons how you feel.
[18:57] Speaker 5: We're not the family that kind of has a daily
[19:01] Speaker 5: I love you kind of check in, but I do
[19:04] Speaker 5: FaceTime them every single day, often at bath time, often together,
[19:10] Speaker 5: so the two boys bathing the two babies at the
[19:14] Speaker 5: same time, and I think they can see it. I
[19:19] Speaker 5: know they can feel it, because it is really special,
[19:22] Speaker 5: it's really lovely.
[19:23] Speaker 4: And are they living in Australia or they live somewhere else?
[19:26] Speaker 5: My sons live in New York, and so my granddaughters.
[19:30] Speaker 5: I've met one of my granddaughters once when she was born,
[19:33] Speaker 5: and I met one of them twice because one of them,
[19:37] Speaker 5: little Sasha, came here for six weeks so that her
[19:39] Speaker 5: mum and dad could spend their maternity and poternity leave
[19:42] Speaker 5: at home in Sydney, and so that was really really special.
[19:45] Speaker 5: But otherwise we FaceTime every day. That's lovely, that's so beautiful.
[19:49] Speaker 2: It is. I also had a big life moment. They
[19:52] Speaker 2: caught me completely off guard, and maybe you shouldn't have,
[19:56] Speaker 2: but it did. I never was the girl that was
[19:59] Speaker 2: desperate to get married. So when I met George, I
[20:03] Speaker 2: knew on our first date that he was my guy.
[20:06] Speaker 2: So cut to a year late later. Now George and
[20:09] Speaker 2: I are both writers. He was a copywriter, is an
[20:12] Speaker 2: advertising guy. He's a creative director and he started off
[20:16] Speaker 2: as a copywriter. And I write everything I perform, so
[20:19] Speaker 2: we're big fans of writing. So throughout the first year
[20:21] Speaker 2: of our relationship, we would write to each other constantly,
[20:24] Speaker 2: even in the same room, we'd send emails to each other.
[20:28] Speaker 2: So cut to a year later, and it's just before
[20:31] Speaker 2: my fortieth birthday, and I've organized for my best friends
[20:34] Speaker 2: to meet me in Santorini. So George and I are
[20:37] Speaker 2: going to fly in a bit earlier and spend five
[20:40] Speaker 2: days on the mainland before we fly in to meet
[20:43] Speaker 2: all my besties. So we land. George says on the
[20:47] Speaker 2: flight passes me in those days, a lonely planet, and said,
[20:51] Speaker 2: pick the restaurant you want to go to, and we'll
[20:53] Speaker 2: go straight there for lunch.
[20:54] Speaker 4: So we did.
[20:55] Speaker 2: Now for somewhat reason, he brought his rollie with him,
[20:58] Speaker 2: his carry on, and it was Cobblestone's streets and it
[21:02] Speaker 2: was like everywhere, and I was like, oh, that's eccentric,
[21:07] Speaker 2: and I didn't care. I was so happy I was
[21:09] Speaker 2: in Greece. We sit down. George is not a big drinker.
[21:12] Speaker 2: He's the type that pours a drink into a pop plant,
[21:14] Speaker 2: you know, he's a fake drinker. And he orders a
[21:17] Speaker 2: drink and I'm like, oh, go Georgie. And we sit
[21:20] Speaker 2: there and I'm so happy, you know, like I'm so content.
[21:24] Speaker 2: And I say to him, you know what we should
[21:26] Speaker 2: have done. We should have printed all the emails we've
[21:28] Speaker 2: ever written to each other and put them into a
[21:31] Speaker 2: little book. Remember there were those, you know, little books
[21:33] Speaker 2: that you could get printed of all the photos on
[21:35] Speaker 2: your phone and.
[21:36] Speaker 1: You know whatever.
[21:37] Speaker 2: So he said, funny, you should say that, and he
[21:39] Speaker 2: unzips his carry on and he opens up his laptop
[21:43] Speaker 2: and suddenly the carry on has a reason for being there,
[21:46] Speaker 2: and he opens it up and there is like a
[21:48] Speaker 2: collage of photos of us throughout the year, and in
[21:52] Speaker 2: a beautiful font he's written, this is what Bliss looks like.
[21:56] Speaker 2: And then he's art directed every single email we've written
[22:00] Speaker 2: to each other throughout that year. Different art direction for
[22:03] Speaker 2: his is different for mine. And he's pressing them and
[22:05] Speaker 2: we're reading them through together and he gets to the
[22:08] Speaker 2: last one, which he'd sent the day before on our
[22:10] Speaker 2: one year anniversary. So he presses that and I read
[22:14] Speaker 2: that and I assume that's it, and then he says,
[22:18] Speaker 2: now you press it, press the arrow, and I'm so
[22:21] Speaker 2: happy that I'm not going to argue. So I was like, yeah, okay,
[22:25] Speaker 2: and I press the arrow for the next thing to
[22:29] Speaker 2: come up on the screen and he's gone into the
[22:31] Speaker 2: bag and pulled out a Tiffany's box and on the
[22:35] Speaker 2: screen says it says, will you marry me? I am
[22:39] Speaker 2: so shocked, and I'm so embarrassed for him, Like this
[22:45] Speaker 2: guy's really put it on the line, Like I'm just
[22:48] Speaker 2: feeling how exposed he is in that moment. Now, of
[22:51] Speaker 2: course I was going to say yes, of course we
[22:53] Speaker 2: were going to get married. I just never thought about
[22:56] Speaker 2: what day will he propose them, what will it be like?
[22:58] Speaker 2: And what will I wear? I never none of that
[23:01] Speaker 2: had ever entered my mind throughout that year. I just
[23:03] Speaker 2: knew that this was my person, right, and my jaw
[23:07] Speaker 2: almost like it was broken. It was swinging when they
[23:11] Speaker 2: say jaw dropping moment, it was swinging. I was like
[23:13] Speaker 2: Jay Leno, except I wasn't wearing double dinner right, and
[23:17] Speaker 2: it was as low as it could go. And he
[23:20] Speaker 2: turned around and said, is that a yes? And then
[23:23] Speaker 2: I said yes, And then I opened the ring and
[23:26] Speaker 2: it was so ugly. I married him anyway.
[23:31] Speaker 4: Oh, you know that the amount of effort that he
[23:34] Speaker 4: put into it is crazy, that's all beautiful.
[23:38] Speaker 1: My moment is also to do with an engagement, but
[23:41] Speaker 1: very different to yours. Mary. I had been hinting at
[23:46] Speaker 1: I'd like to be proposed to for many many months
[23:49] Speaker 1: at this point with my ex husband. Every time he
[23:52] Speaker 1: would have some time off from the rugby league calendar
[23:55] Speaker 1: and we would go somewhere, the newspapers would be like,
[23:58] Speaker 1: maybe there's maybe it's romantic. They're off to Paris. Maybe
[24:00] Speaker 1: they're going to get engaged, and which we wouldn't and
[24:03] Speaker 1: then you know, I would be drunk in some city
[24:06] Speaker 1: going are propose. It'd be like no, there's a fit
[24:10] Speaker 1: of drama around that. Anyway, we were having a long
[24:14] Speaker 1: weekend at Lord Howe Island and this I'm so bad.
[24:18] Speaker 1: I would never do this with my next husband. When
[24:21] Speaker 1: he went surfing, he went through his bag just in
[24:28] Speaker 1: case this was the time. And just as I got
[24:33] Speaker 1: to his sock and I found like a ring box.
[24:36] Speaker 1: I could hear the door kind of open, so I like,
[24:39] Speaker 1: you know, like I had a sort of jump away
[24:41] Speaker 1: from the suitcase. So my big life moment was not
[24:46] Speaker 1: off guard. So I knew that the engagement was going
[24:49] Speaker 1: to come. But the big life moment that caught me
[24:51] Speaker 1: off guard was we had this beautiful room that looked
[24:54] Speaker 1: at Lord how Mountain and I'm looking thinking, we're in
[24:57] Speaker 1: this incredible resort. He's going to do it on the beach.
[25:00] Speaker 1: We can do it up the mountain, we can do
[25:01] Speaker 1: it on a boat. Are we going to do it
[25:03] Speaker 1: at moonlight? When are we going to do it? Anyway,
[25:06] Speaker 1: I'm in this butt naked. I never expected to be
[25:10] Speaker 1: proposed to went on he was at I was like,
[25:14] Speaker 1: no modesty at all. He's gone to get, you know,
[25:19] Speaker 1: a bottle of bubbly and comes back and I'm floating
[25:22] Speaker 1: and you know, all my bits are out and the
[25:24] Speaker 1: bubbles have gone, and the phone's gone. It's just Vagina
[25:27] Speaker 1: and Bress. It's down on. When they puts the song
[25:30] Speaker 1: on the on the boom box and just flange, I
[25:35] Speaker 1: just wasn't expecting it.
[25:37] Speaker 2: Did you cry? Did you say yes?
[25:39] Speaker 1: Like I just I cried, But I also just wanted
[25:42] Speaker 1: to put some fucking close. I'm British. I was expecting
[25:48] Speaker 1: to be in the nacket. So that was my moment. Anyway,
[25:53] Speaker 1: what about you, Grace.
[25:54] Speaker 4: So do you guys know who Anna Winter is? Yes?
[25:58] Speaker 4: So for some of our lovely listeners who don't know
[26:00] Speaker 4: who she is, she is basically the queen of fashion.
[26:05] Speaker 4: If you have a fashion design brand, if she doesn't
[26:08] Speaker 4: like it, you will never survive. If she loves it,
[26:11] Speaker 4: you will live forever. So Anna Winter looks over every
[26:16] Speaker 4: single country in the world with all the voks. So
[26:19] Speaker 4: she is the boss. She's not a big boss, but
[26:21] Speaker 4: she is the boss. Everyone is scared of her. So
[26:24] Speaker 4: when I moved from when we left Hong Kong to
[26:27] Speaker 4: Perth end of twenty nineteen, we had a one year
[26:31] Speaker 4: anniversary in Perth, and then the news broke out that
[26:36] Speaker 4: my former editor in chief was let go or you know,
[26:40] Speaker 4: she was leaving. So then suddenly the next day I
[26:44] Speaker 4: was watching The Crown with Jason. My phone went off
[26:48] Speaker 4: and I had all these phone calls from London plus
[26:51] Speaker 4: forty four, which I do not answer if I don't
[26:54] Speaker 4: know the number. So my phone was like ringing non
[26:56] Speaker 4: stop and I didn't answer any of it. So then
[26:58] Speaker 4: I started getting loads of dms, loads of dms going
[27:02] Speaker 4: Edward wants to talk to you. Edward wants to talk
[27:04] Speaker 4: to you, So I'm like okay. So then basically what
[27:06] Speaker 4: happened was they're looking for a new editor in chief
[27:08] Speaker 4: who vote China. So then I got a phone call
[27:11] Speaker 4: for Edward ending for Obe who was British vote as
[27:15] Speaker 4: editor in chief. My mentor, he called me and he said, Grace,
[27:20] Speaker 4: where are you. I said, I'm in Perth. I'm lift
[27:22] Speaker 4: to perf. He goes and No, Winter wants to talk
[27:24] Speaker 4: to you. Can I just put your number? I was
[27:25] Speaker 4: like okay, and he goes, you know what this is about.
[27:29] Speaker 4: I'm like, no, kind of and he said, they're looking
[27:33] Speaker 4: for a new editor in chief. I was like, fuck me.
[27:36] Speaker 4: At that point. I was like thinking, Wow, one of
[27:39] Speaker 4: the most powerful title in the world. I'm going to
[27:42] Speaker 4: edit in your vote China. All those fucking bitches that
[27:46] Speaker 4: bitch about me, now they're going to lick my pussy. Right,
[27:50] Speaker 4: So that was my revenge mindset.
[27:52] Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been my first.
[27:55] Speaker 1: I really wanted to know, pay packets. Yeah, yeah, oh no,
[27:57] Speaker 1: no no.
[27:58] Speaker 4: To be honest, they are never going to pay you
[28:00] Speaker 4: enough to have that kind of stress. And working in
[28:03] Speaker 4: China is tricky. It's not as easy as people think.
[28:06] Speaker 4: So I know, oh the deal. And I was like
[28:08] Speaker 4: talking to Jason for about a very short period about this.
[28:12] Speaker 4: I was like, if they want me, can we go
[28:15] Speaker 4: to live in China? We weren't sure. I was like, no,
[28:18] Speaker 4: I can't do it. I don't want to bring up
[28:19] Speaker 4: my son in China, that's for sure.
[28:21] Speaker 3: So then she.
[28:22] Speaker 4: Called me zoom call well and glass WHI or without glasses,
[28:27] Speaker 4: without glasses, without glasses. It was a zoom call. I
[28:32] Speaker 4: was ten minutes early to locked in. As soon as
[28:35] Speaker 4: I locked in, she locked in straight away. So I
[28:37] Speaker 4: was like, you know what, it's always good to be early.
[28:41] Speaker 4: So then the night before. I was like, well, am
[28:43] Speaker 4: I gonna wear? You know, I don't want to be
[28:45] Speaker 4: overly dressed, but I don't want to look like shit either, right,
[28:48] Speaker 4: even though it was a zoom call, so I wore
[28:51] Speaker 4: my easy Miaki outfit because you can only see the top.
[28:53] Speaker 1: But anyway, so you know, I was like make up.
[28:54] Speaker 1: You know.
[28:55] Speaker 4: It was New York time in the morning, my time
[28:57] Speaker 4: in per nighttime, like nine point thirty ten, and I
[29:00] Speaker 4: said to Jason, set up beautiful lighting. He's a photographer.
[29:04] Speaker 4: I said, set up beautiful lighting so that I look
[29:07] Speaker 4: really good, you know.
[29:09] Speaker 1: And he goes good, and he goes, you don't even.
[29:11] Speaker 4: Want this job? Why am I doing all this? And
[29:13] Speaker 4: I just fucking do it. So anyway, she called. We
[29:15] Speaker 4: spoke straight away. She said to me, how are you
[29:19] Speaker 4: doing in Perth. I was like, oh, that's nice. I
[29:21] Speaker 4: said to Jason, this call is gonna be like two seconds.
[29:23] Speaker 4: It's not gonna be last very long. Whe actually spoke
[29:25] Speaker 4: for quite a while, and she wasn't scary as I thought.
[29:30] Speaker 4: I've met her in during fashion week before, very briefly,
[29:32] Speaker 4: so that was my first proper conversation. So it was like,
[29:35] Speaker 4: you know, what are you doing in Perth. We're looking
[29:38] Speaker 4: for a new editor in chief with China. Your name
[29:41] Speaker 4: came out quite a few times, and I just want
[29:43] Speaker 4: to know what your plan moving forward. Straight away, I
[29:46] Speaker 4: said no, so I don't want I don't want to
[29:48] Speaker 4: live in China again. I've done that and I have
[29:50] Speaker 4: a son to think about, so I'm not doing it.
[29:52] Speaker 4: So anyway, it was a kind of like a lengthy conversation,
[29:57] Speaker 4: longer than I thought, and she was taking down notes
[29:59] Speaker 4: when I was like telling herself about China. So there's
[30:02] Speaker 4: one thing I know that I probably know China a
[30:04] Speaker 4: lot better than she does. You know, she's probably very
[30:06] Speaker 4: good at everything else. So then we hung out. I
[30:09] Speaker 4: was like, wow, that was kind of surreal. You know,
[30:11] Speaker 4: the Devil Wears Prada called me for a job and
[30:13] Speaker 4: I turned her down.
[30:14] Speaker 1: I said no.
[30:15] Speaker 4: So then I email my president, my former president, who's English,
[30:19] Speaker 4: and we got along very well. And I said, oh,
[30:22] Speaker 4: guess who called me the other day? And he said,
[30:26] Speaker 4: you are the only person that I know that said
[30:28] Speaker 4: no to Anna Winter And I said, I'm going to
[30:30] Speaker 4: put that down on my gravestone. That's how I'm going
[30:33] Speaker 4: to do it. So yeah, so that was my wow
[30:35] Speaker 4: moment any regrets, not at all. You know why. It's
[30:40] Speaker 4: because she then introduced me to someone within the vote world.
[30:44] Speaker 4: That person replied the email four five am, and I
[30:49] Speaker 4: just thought, Wow, I don't want to be under that
[30:51] Speaker 4: kind of you know, leadership. I have to feel like
[30:54] Speaker 4: I have to answer straight away when I'm sleeping.
[30:56] Speaker 1: No, So yeah, no, Hang on a minute. So you
[30:59] Speaker 1: said no to Anna Wintle.
[31:02] Speaker 4: That's how I rolle itches No, I said, I said,
[31:06] Speaker 4: that's not what I want. And she was like, oh,
[31:08] Speaker 4: what do you think of doing? I say, if you
[31:09] Speaker 4: have any project about sustainability, about fashion, and I'm interested
[31:13] Speaker 4: because at that point I was like, I'm so over
[31:16] Speaker 4: fashioned people and luxury fashion. I just don't want to
[31:19] Speaker 4: deal with people's neuroses and working in fashion industy. It's
[31:23] Speaker 4: mostly a lot of women, and it's tricky, it gets
[31:26] Speaker 4: bitchy and backstep. It's just I'm just not about yeah.
[31:30] Speaker 4: So yeah, hell, if you don't want a job, you know,
[31:34] Speaker 4: you should tell people that you don't want that job,
[31:36] Speaker 4: you know.
[31:38] Speaker 1: Oh, okay, it is time for blast from the past time, ladies, Yes,
[31:57] Speaker 1: back before social media could make all our shameful moments public. Okay,
[32:01] Speaker 1: tell me a time that you were overdressed, Grace Lamb.
[32:05] Speaker 4: I'm always dressed well because I love fashion, but I'm
[32:09] Speaker 4: not a fashion victim. So one year I was still
[32:12] Speaker 4: invoke China Hong Kong office, some of my friends you know, saying, oh,
[32:15] Speaker 4: let's do like a big Christmas dinner together. There were
[32:18] Speaker 4: fifteen of us, and I suggested, let's dress up because
[32:21] Speaker 4: it's Christmas. I was the only one that showed up
[32:24] Speaker 4: in a gigantic Christmas tree outfit. Had to walk through
[32:28] Speaker 4: the fucking streets of Hong Kong. Everyone was looking at me.
[32:31] Speaker 1: Good, where the fuck she's going?
[32:33] Speaker 4: So we were having dinner in this wet market was
[32:35] Speaker 4: just very popular and it was so packed that night
[32:38] Speaker 4: because it was Christmas evening. I had to walk through
[32:42] Speaker 4: hundreds of people were just looking at me. Their hell,
[32:45] Speaker 4: no one dressed up. But I quite liked the attention
[32:47] Speaker 4: because then strangers keep coming up to me. It's like,
[32:49] Speaker 4: can we take a picture of your Like yeah, sure,
[32:51] Speaker 4: like a celebrity. So that was like a lesson learned.
[32:54] Speaker 4: Do not trust your friends, But I like having fun.
[32:57] Speaker 4: I'm a clown. What can I say?
[32:59] Speaker 1: You were not a clown, You're a stylish pose thank you.
[33:03] Speaker 1: I spent a lot more time than I ever expected
[33:06] Speaker 1: at rugby league games because of you know, my partner
[33:08] Speaker 1: back then, and my motto is, I mean, you know,
[33:11] Speaker 1: today a bit more underdressed, but I would always rather
[33:14] Speaker 1: be overdressed just in case I'm about to be hit
[33:17] Speaker 1: by a truck and that's my last day on the earth.
[33:19] Speaker 1: I want to be wearing something fat, positive, think positive.
[33:22] Speaker 1: But I always to rugby leg games for my entire
[33:25] Speaker 1: career as a rugby league partner. I would be like,
[33:28] Speaker 1: in full dress? Can I always in dresses? Can I ask?
[33:31] Speaker 4: Because of the wag?
[33:32] Speaker 1: No, this was pre wag, so luckily this really was
[33:36] Speaker 1: a blast in the past. There wasn't social media back then,
[33:39] Speaker 1: you know, there weren't the cameras on the phones. There
[33:41] Speaker 1: was Facebook, but there wasn't like your Instagram and stuff.
[33:44] Speaker 4: Wag is what does it mean?
[33:45] Speaker 1: Wife and girlfriend? Yes, so they hadn't quite coined that term,
[33:49] Speaker 1: thank god, till till afterwards. But yeah, I was always
[33:53] Speaker 1: in full scale on the thirdle, always my way on
[33:58] Speaker 1: my earning. I was buying the dresses myself.
[34:01] Speaker 2: But yeah, you always always gras always well he had
[34:05] Speaker 2: the height, so you can wear whatever.
[34:06] Speaker 4: Fuck you are. Yeah, shame about the phase anyway, Thanks,
[34:13] Speaker 4: you can take it.
[34:14] Speaker 2: I'm a fashion victim. I've always loved fashion. I just
[34:18] Speaker 2: you can't take it seriously. But it's an opportunity to
[34:20] Speaker 2: express yourself. Yes, in the words of Madonna, who brought
[34:24] Speaker 2: us voguing. But I was voguing one time during the
[34:28] Speaker 2: Let's Get Physical Lady Newton john face and got the
[34:31] Speaker 2: same haircut, and I wore a little gold head band,
[34:35] Speaker 2: very thin one nice, and so I had the layered
[34:37] Speaker 2: cut and I had a mini skirt on. I remember
[34:40] Speaker 2: my dad saying, everyone's got an ass. Why do you
[34:42] Speaker 2: have to show yours off to the world? And I
[34:45] Speaker 2: had leg warmers on the whole thing. And I went
[34:48] Speaker 2: to a party and we're at a high school and
[34:50] Speaker 2: I remember standing by the pool. It was a very,
[34:53] Speaker 2: you know, nice sort of party and it was nice
[34:56] Speaker 2: and warm, and I was standing there. I was posing,
[35:00] Speaker 2: I think, not overly, but I thought I was king shit.
[35:05] Speaker 2: They pushed me in the pool. Look, I don't mind
[35:09] Speaker 2: that they did. I deserved it, I really did. I
[35:11] Speaker 2: was like taking it too far.
[35:13] Speaker 4: I would love to see a picture.
[35:14] Speaker 2: You used to have a picture, and I don't know
[35:15] Speaker 2: whether I do. I've got a soft focused picture of
[35:19] Speaker 2: me with the same hairstyle patting my dog or something,
[35:22] Speaker 2: but I don't know. And the only other thing I
[35:24] Speaker 2: would say, I've got a friend that says I don't
[35:25] Speaker 2: wear clothes. I wear costumes because I like a grand statement.
[35:29] Speaker 2: I don't do it as much anymore. But I remember
[35:31] Speaker 2: there was a trend where there was a do you
[35:33] Speaker 2: remember that long scarf era where you would wear a
[35:37] Speaker 2: scarf that was super long, like a sort of fashion
[35:40] Speaker 2: forward doctor who things.
[35:41] Speaker 1: I was going to say, doctor Who.
[35:42] Speaker 2: And I went again to another party because I like
[35:44] Speaker 2: being social, and I remember distinctly this party. You enter
[35:48] Speaker 2: through the front, and then you walk down these long,
[35:52] Speaker 2: this long staircase, and then the party was in the
[35:55] Speaker 2: garden at the back, and I had my very extra
[35:58] Speaker 2: long scarf on, and I wore cuffed jeans, which hadn't
[36:02] Speaker 2: quite hit at that point. I'd made a few statements
[36:05] Speaker 2: that day, and I went plunging down treped on my
[36:09] Speaker 2: very long scarf, and I broke the heel to my
[36:13] Speaker 2: stilettos and I put a hole through my scarf. And
[36:15] Speaker 2: again I might have deserved it, Oh.
[36:17] Speaker 4: Believe I should nice to pay.
[36:21] Speaker 5: You know what, I just don't get the memo about fashion,
[36:25] Speaker 5: everyone who knows it.
[36:26] Speaker 3: I am so intimidated.
[36:27] Speaker 1: By you chicks, Like you always look.
[36:29] Speaker 5: So gorgeous and so hot, and I always look at
[36:32] Speaker 5: you and go, where did you.
[36:33] Speaker 1: Get your shoes?
[36:33] Speaker 5: Where did you get your shirt? You always look so amazing.
[36:36] Speaker 5: I just look like something that the cat's dragged in.
[36:38] Speaker 5: I'm still wearing leggings, i still have ankle socks, I
[36:41] Speaker 5: still wrap like, I still have a bum bag. I
[36:44] Speaker 5: have just given up, and I've decided that looking like
[36:46] Speaker 5: an idiot is just my signature look, and so I'm
[36:48] Speaker 5: just leaning into it. And now, in my late fifties,
[36:51] Speaker 5: I'm just like, I'm not trying anymore to look cool.
[36:54] Speaker 3: I could try and blend in with you girls, and
[36:56] Speaker 3: I'm just going to fail. So I just don't bother
[36:58] Speaker 3: first bags are back in fashion.
[37:01] Speaker 4: I thing no way as a fashion stylis. Can I
[37:04] Speaker 4: just say, doctor Jeanny, you are saving life, so fuck
[37:07] Speaker 4: me and fuck everyone here.
[37:08] Speaker 3: Oh God, I love you just saying that.
[37:10] Speaker 4: So you know what you do, you doctor Jinnie.
[37:12] Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, it is time for our very favorite segment,
[37:18] Speaker 5: other People's Problems, and this one this is a cracker.
[37:22] Speaker 5: This is where you send us your real life mess
[37:26] Speaker 5: and we become your completely unqualified agony aunts. And today's
[37:31] Speaker 5: problem is from someone I like to call anonymous. I'm
[37:36] Speaker 5: fifty two, married for twenty five years, and the pilot
[37:40] Speaker 5: light in our bedroom went out a long time ago.
[37:43] Speaker 5: My husband is a good man, he works hard, he's
[37:46] Speaker 5: a very present dad, he never misses binda very important
[37:50] Speaker 5: But the sparse is buried under a decade of routine.
[37:54] Speaker 5: The truth is I'm just not attracted to him anymore.
[37:58] Speaker 5: Our bed has become a dead zone, except on my side.
[38:02] Speaker 5: Every night, once I hear his steady snoring, I reach
[38:06] Speaker 5: into my bedside draw for my vibrator.
[38:09] Speaker 1: It's efficient, it's.
[38:11] Speaker 5: Reliable, and I don't have to manage anyone else's ego.
[38:15] Speaker 5: But a friend told me, I'm desensitizing myself and choosing
[38:19] Speaker 5: the easy option instead of doing the work to fix
[38:22] Speaker 5: my marriage. Am I rewiring my brain to only respond to.
[38:26] Speaker 1: A battery operated device?
[38:28] Speaker 5: Or is this just how women survive a long term marriage?
[38:31] Speaker 5: I mean, cass, Obviously, I'm looking straight at you.
[38:34] Speaker 1: Thank you for looking at me, Dr Jinny. And first
[38:36] Speaker 1: of all, I would say battery operated. She probably needs
[38:39] Speaker 1: to upgrade on the on the vibrator and maybe get
[38:42] Speaker 1: one with a USB just for starters. Secondly, I think
[38:47] Speaker 1: they need to have a conversation like how is he
[38:49] Speaker 1: in the sex department? Does he want sex? Are they
[38:52] Speaker 1: communicating about what they both want? Because if he's happy
[38:55] Speaker 1: to go to sleep and snore, then Bob's uncle.
[38:57] Speaker 4: Isn't it all one hundred percent?
[38:59] Speaker 1: What do you think?
[39:00] Speaker 4: I think communication is key at that stage. Clearly they
[39:04] Speaker 4: haven't spoken about this for a long long time, and
[39:07] Speaker 4: just get rid of cobwebs and start having a conversation
[39:10] Speaker 4: about what you want from each other. And if you
[39:13] Speaker 4: don't want sex, fine, just fucking let me know, you know,
[39:16] Speaker 4: so I don't feel bad about it.
[39:17] Speaker 2: Well, obviously she doesn't want it. Would a man bring
[39:20] Speaker 2: it up? You know? I remember after giving birth to
[39:24] Speaker 2: our daughter, Jamie, my husband said something that totally flawed me.
[39:30] Speaker 2: You know, a few months after giving birth, maybe it
[39:32] Speaker 2: was six months. That's not a few, actually that's double
[39:34] Speaker 2: a few. Right, We were both going off into separate
[39:38] Speaker 2: rooms and he put his arm on the doorway and
[39:43] Speaker 2: stopped me, and he said, I suspect my parents are
[39:46] Speaker 2: having more sex than you and I are. Oh, and
[39:50] Speaker 2: I suspect he was right. So sometimes you have to
[39:54] Speaker 2: have those conversations.
[39:55] Speaker 1: Andrew used to say that he would put up posters
[39:57] Speaker 1: when we were pushing the pram with Lewis in that
[39:59] Speaker 1: would say lost Catherine's libido if found call this mobile. Yeah,
[40:06] Speaker 1: so I think maybe they were.
[40:07] Speaker 2: Gone, and that was good because I needed to wake
[40:10] Speaker 2: up out of this, you know, just mothering face and
[40:12] Speaker 2: remember that I was in a relationship with someone else
[40:14] Speaker 2: other than my child. But here's the thing. Ultimately, you
[40:19] Speaker 2: want to be at least free of the burden of
[40:23] Speaker 2: not having that conversation. Sometimes it's easier to have that
[40:26] Speaker 2: conversation than not having it.
[40:27] Speaker 5: Can I put the counter narrative out there and I'll
[40:29] Speaker 5: see you why. Lots of my patients are in this situation.
[40:32] Speaker 5: This is kind of ubiquitous. I almost don't hear anything else.
[40:36] Speaker 5: It's a rare diamond that says, oh, oh my god,
[40:38] Speaker 5: we're reading like rabbits, we're having lots and lots of sex.
[40:41] Speaker 5: What I tend to hear is he's at me for
[40:43] Speaker 5: sex all the time. I don't want an end of conversation.
[40:46] Speaker 5: And I tell you why. I think so many of
[40:49] Speaker 5: us gen x's were raised to think being randy wanting
[40:54] Speaker 5: sex masturbating is makes you a slut, that you are disgusting,
[40:58] Speaker 5: and I think it's the sort of thing that we
[41:02] Speaker 5: just don't talk about. It's really hard for Anonymous to
[41:05] Speaker 5: go and talk about this habit in particular, because he's
[41:09] Speaker 5: just going to go, well, if you want it with
[41:10] Speaker 5: a vibrator, surely my cock is better. And it's just
[41:13] Speaker 5: a conversation where for a woman to say, but if
[41:16] Speaker 5: you put your finger there, and if you didn't remove
[41:19] Speaker 5: it so quickly, if you didn't finish when you finish,
[41:22] Speaker 5: if you took care of my orgasm before we started.
[41:25] Speaker 5: But women don't feel comfortable having that conversation because it
[41:28] Speaker 5: makes us.
[41:28] Speaker 1: Feel really slutty.
[41:30] Speaker 5: And so few of my patients will do what you said,
[41:34] Speaker 5: Grace and have a really honest conversation and communicate about
[41:38] Speaker 5: why masturbation works better for me than having sex with you.
[41:41] Speaker 3: I just don't want it.
[41:42] Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, most guys can't find their wallet, how
[41:44] Speaker 2: are they going to find it?
[41:45] Speaker 5: Glitteris that can also feel really weird when your husband,
[41:48] Speaker 5: every single night, night after night, rolls over onto his
[41:50] Speaker 5: left hand side and says good night, gives you a
[41:52] Speaker 5: peck on the cheek.
[41:53] Speaker 1: That's also really weird.
[41:54] Speaker 5: Like everyone in my surgery, they've just stopped talking about
[41:58] Speaker 5: it like it's just the most uncomfortable conversation.
[42:02] Speaker 3: And I think even just like us talking.
[42:05] Speaker 5: About it here got to get girls to feel more
[42:08] Speaker 5: comfortable about saying, actually, it's not either banging at me
[42:12] Speaker 5: like a tsunami, like going really hard until you finish
[42:15] Speaker 5: like a jackamma, there are actually other ways that we
[42:17] Speaker 5: can have sex and admitting that that might be something
[42:19] Speaker 5: that you enjoy, but you don't enjoy sex the way
[42:22] Speaker 5: he presents it.
[42:24] Speaker 1: Okay, Ginny the bit where Anonymous says that her friend
[42:28] Speaker 1: has said she's desensitizing herself. Can you desensitize yourself?
[42:32] Speaker 5: We can, and I mean there's certain women who then
[42:36] Speaker 5: can only orgasm a particular way by moving your finger
[42:41] Speaker 5: from right to left certain number of times.
[42:43] Speaker 1: You can.
[42:44] Speaker 5: But I mean, if you cross the rubicon, we're able
[42:48] Speaker 5: to actually admit that this is what you're doing. Have
[42:50] Speaker 5: the conversation with your partner, then maybe bring him into it,
[42:54] Speaker 5: maybe use a few other toys, start doing it together.
[42:58] Speaker 5: You could eventually combine to have an orgasm together. But like,
[43:02] Speaker 5: let's say you've never had an orgasm with him, not uncommon.
[43:08] Speaker 5: I have lots and lots and lots of patients who
[43:11] Speaker 5: have never got off with a partner because they've been
[43:14] Speaker 5: too embarrassed to talk about how it would happen. Then
[43:17] Speaker 5: that's going to be tough for you, Anonymous. And if
[43:20] Speaker 5: you know him well enough and you think I just
[43:22] Speaker 5: couldn't have that conversation with him, we're just not there.
[43:26] Speaker 3: I get that, and I'm like, you're a pretty good
[43:28] Speaker 3: alternative here, Like.
[43:29] Speaker 5: It's not like you've got no sex life. I don't
[43:31] Speaker 5: think it's the end of the world if your marriage
[43:33] Speaker 5: is good and you do this on your own. I
[43:35] Speaker 5: actually don't have a massive problem with it.
[43:36] Speaker 2: But I also think it's hard for some people to
[43:39] Speaker 2: bring this up as a subject because you don't want
[43:41] Speaker 2: to imply that the sex has never been good. Yes,
[43:44] Speaker 2: that's a really hard thing, especially if you've been with
[43:46] Speaker 2: someone for years. I remember pushing my husband for us
[43:50] Speaker 2: to have sex a lot sooner than he wanted to,
[43:52] Speaker 2: because I didn't need another male best friend. I needed
[43:56] Speaker 2: to know it was cooking, you know, in the bedroom.
[43:59] Speaker 2: I needed to know that there was chemistry and that
[44:02] Speaker 2: that could work for me because you know, but maybe
[44:05] Speaker 2: maybe some people feel afraid of having that conversation for
[44:09] Speaker 2: fear that it taints the history of their sex life.
[44:13] Speaker 2: So I think the way we use those conversations need
[44:16] Speaker 2: to be like, we need to be careful with how
[44:18] Speaker 2: we have those conversations. I'm always pro a conversation that
[44:23] Speaker 2: leads to a better outcome, but I also think you
[44:26] Speaker 2: can disable someone if you don't come about it in
[44:29] Speaker 2: the right way. So I would always encourage anyone and
[44:33] Speaker 2: I've done this myself to use positive and I'm not
[44:36] Speaker 2: talking about you know, let's just stay positive, but to
[44:38] Speaker 2: say why don't we try this, or why don't we
[44:40] Speaker 2: try rather than I need you to do this in
[44:43] Speaker 2: order for me to feel that you know, so, I don't.
[44:46] Speaker 4: Know, I agree, And I also feel like different age,
[44:49] Speaker 4: how we have sex is so different. Like in your
[44:51] Speaker 4: twenties you can do like an hour foreplay, which I'm
[44:54] Speaker 4: not about at our age, I kind of feel like
[44:58] Speaker 4: you need to have that conversation about you know what,
[45:01] Speaker 4: let's keep it shorter because we're old, and which you
[45:03] Speaker 4: know good about. At nine, let's just set a time.
[45:06] Speaker 4: I know, it's some sporing. Having said that, is you
[45:09] Speaker 4: need to kind of cut out time to have sexy time.
[45:13] Speaker 4: Rather than both of you are tired, you and bed eleven,
[45:17] Speaker 4: no one.
[45:17] Speaker 1: Will have sex.
[45:18] Speaker 4: So it's just adjustment, I think. You know, instead of
[45:21] Speaker 4: having one hour four play, you have ten minutes and
[45:25] Speaker 4: then you go into it and then make sure that
[45:28] Speaker 4: it's not like three hours long sex session. You know,
[45:31] Speaker 4: it's just different age, different way.
[45:33] Speaker 2: All I know is you should be getting off if
[45:35] Speaker 2: you can, if you can get off with your partner,
[45:38] Speaker 2: even better, if you need to do some you know,
[45:40] Speaker 2: extra side bits on your own, you know, with a vibrator,
[45:44] Speaker 2: go for it.
[45:44] Speaker 4: And also sometimes you know it might not be you know,
[45:47] Speaker 4: having sex oral you know, hand job that will do.
[45:51] Speaker 5: The one thing I am going to say is as
[45:53] Speaker 5: men get older, the guy who used to like, you know,
[45:57] Speaker 5: go really hard and in three minutes later that were ejaculating,
[46:01] Speaker 5: that same man is now taking twenty minutes because the
[46:04] Speaker 5: nerves of their dick is not as good once they
[46:07] Speaker 5: get to their late fifties. And I've got so many
[46:09] Speaker 5: patients who are lot I am not down for twenty
[46:12] Speaker 5: minutes of that shit, right, it's already like watching paint dry.
[46:15] Speaker 3: It's so boring. I'm not gonna have an orgasm.
[46:18] Speaker 5: So I'm just going to say to him, can you
[46:20] Speaker 5: just do like, take the first ten minutes on your
[46:22] Speaker 5: own in the bathroom and bring me the grand finale.
[46:24] Speaker 5: I'll do that, you know, you do the overture on
[46:27] Speaker 5: your own, take your phone, I don't really care. Think
[46:29] Speaker 5: about your ex girlfriend, don't care. Just go you do you,
[46:32] Speaker 5: and then I'll take the finish because I can't be
[46:34] Speaker 5: bothered with the whole thing.
[46:36] Speaker 1: All right, Anonymous, Hopefully you got something out of that.
[46:38] Speaker 1: We gave you lots of information there, and definitely get
[46:41] Speaker 1: on the USB charge vibrator.
[46:43] Speaker 2: Good rack.
[46:46] Speaker 1: Oh I think that's all we've got time for today.
[46:48] Speaker 5: Oh.
[46:49] Speaker 1: If this made you laugh, please please send it to
[46:52] Speaker 1: that one friend of yours that we'll also get it
[46:55] Speaker 1: and absolutely have something to say about it. You can
[46:59] Speaker 1: just click on the share button in your podcast app,
[47:01] Speaker 1: send them the link and bully them into joining us
[47:05] Speaker 1: every single Tuesday.
[47:07] Speaker 4: Yes.
[47:07] Speaker 1: In the meantime, if you want to get in touch
[47:09] Speaker 1: with us, you can do so at Unleashed Dot Show
[47:12] Speaker 1: on Instagram. We'll be back next Tuesday, or, as we.
[47:16] Speaker 4: Like to say, see you Tuesday.
[47:20] Speaker 1: Until then, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable, stay unleashed. Bye bye,
[47:33] Speaker 1: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
[47:36] Speaker 1: that this podcast is recorded on

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