# The Embarrassing Reason I'm In Therapy Now

An episode of [Unleashed](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1868862473), 10 Aug 2026, 44 min.

Audio: https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/0dcc3a7a-affa-4f23-8243-b3b501742f5a/1cec621c-cbcb-4938-aee9-b48e0020360d/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=61e25ede-2350-47ce-91f5-b3b50174346d

Grace declared war on a noisy neighbour and it got loud. Sally bought a $20 bowl off Marketplace and it changed her whole week. Ginni found out that being a rule follower is basically a diagnosis. And someone's Great Auntie once hid a small fortune somewhere you'd never think to look. Plus, the ladies tackle a dating dilemma from a listener who's ready to get back out there, but isn't sure how. In your ears today: Cath Mahoney, Ginni Mansberg, Sally Hepworth and Grace Lam Would you come to Cath's formal?! Messsage us! Check out our Unleashed music playlist for some feel good throwbacks! The End Bits: Follow us on Instagram, DM us thoughts, feelings and questions @unleashed.show Love the show? Hit follow on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Gen X women find us. This show was produced and created by Mia Freedman Created and developed by Executive Producer Monique Bowley Senior Producer and Audio Editor is Tina Matolov Social Media Producer is Coco Lavigne Did you know some of our shows are now in video on the Apple Podcast app? Make sure your phone is up to date and check it out here! Get access to Very Peri, Mamamia's exclusive perimenopause series, for just $59. 25 world-leading experts, over 20 on-demand sessions, available now. We’ve sorted through the noise so you don't have to. Go to veryperi.com.au and join me today. You hot? Same. Become a Mamamia subscriber and get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts and early listening, subscriber-only articles, monthly giveaways and our home workout app, MOVE. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:08] Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm am a MIA podcast.
[0:19] Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Unleashed, the podcast for gen X
[0:23] Speaker 2: women who need a laugh. If you remember waiting for
[0:27] Speaker 2: a specific day of the week to watch the next
[0:30] Speaker 2: episode of the show that you loved, then you found
[0:33] Speaker 2: your people. Okay, who is on the sofa this week?
[0:37] Speaker 3: Grace bam bam lamb fashion stylers, Welcome to Unleashed.
[0:41] Speaker 4: Hi. I'm Sally Hitworth and i am an author.
[0:43] Speaker 5: I'm Jinny Mersberg, I'm a GP and I'm Kath Mahony,
[0:46] Speaker 5: a comedian.
[0:48] Speaker 2: So wherever you're listening, unclench you your clench your pelvic
[0:52] Speaker 2: floor and get ready to unleash who. Okay, who is busting?
[0:58] Speaker 2: Busting busting to start us off?
[1:01] Speaker 4: That's me? Okay, I have news.
[1:03] Speaker 6: All right, Sally Hapwors. What have you got?
[1:05] Speaker 4: I presented to manage and our idea to have a
[1:09] Speaker 4: spring fling? Well, just calm down, yes, okay, if you
[1:16] Speaker 4: were just catching up on this at home, unleashes Cath,
[1:19] Speaker 4: our darling. Cath has never been to a form and
[1:24] Speaker 4: we think that's unacceptable. Yes, and so we've decided to
[1:27] Speaker 4: throw her one called the spring Fling. Now we decided
[1:30] Speaker 4: that without checking with management, and so we found ourselves
[1:35] Speaker 4: in a position. Well, I found myself in a position
[1:37] Speaker 4: that I was going to have to do that.
[1:38] Speaker 6: Now.
[1:40] Speaker 4: I have never worked in an office, that's true. I've
[1:42] Speaker 4: never presented anything at a boardroom before. Okay, but I
[1:46] Speaker 4: have been on the view and I've told a lot
[1:51] Speaker 4: of stories to people. So I thought, you know what,
[1:54] Speaker 4: I've got this nailed. So I made my PowerPoint. Oh
[1:58] Speaker 4: it was two slides.
[1:59] Speaker 1: Yes.
[2:00] Speaker 4: More importantly, I decided to go in costume, Yes, addressed
[2:04] Speaker 4: as Madonna. Yes, in desperate seeking Susan. I did a
[2:09] Speaker 4: power pot. I walked in. I had my two cheerleaders
[2:13] Speaker 4: here beside me, Calf and Grace, and you guys stood
[2:18] Speaker 4: outside when I went into the lions Den. And here
[2:21] Speaker 4: is how it went. I am about to walk in
[2:24] Speaker 4: to a very intense office space, a boardroom full of
[2:29] Speaker 4: swinging chairs. Okay, I am an author. I don't know
[2:32] Speaker 4: much about that. So I've worn my best outfit, my
[2:35] Speaker 4: ra ra skirt, very big eighties hair, lots of pearls,
[2:39] Speaker 4: and I have prepared by listening to Tony Robbins and
[2:44] Speaker 4: mel Robins and you know all of the Robins. So
[2:47] Speaker 4: I am going to go in there and I'm going
[2:48] Speaker 4: to get a spring fling for my girl CAF. Thank
[2:52] Speaker 4: you everyone for meeting with me today. I've got something
[2:56] Speaker 4: very serious to discuss with you about one about unleaded posts.
[3:00] Speaker 5: I'll cut right to the chase.
[3:01] Speaker 1: Cat has never been to a formal.
[3:06] Speaker 5: What's that got to do with that?
[3:07] Speaker 4: We should throw calf a formal?
[3:11] Speaker 1: So we don't have time or budget to.
[3:14] Speaker 4: Be throwing a fIF you're a woman. Just think of
[3:17] Speaker 4: the frocks, think of the decorations, the sequence, Think of
[3:22] Speaker 4: the fun. So don't just throw frogs in to get
[3:25] Speaker 4: mea on board, think spring slem.
[3:30] Speaker 3: Just don't have the budget for this, Okay.
[3:33] Speaker 1: Hack has never had a formal. Let's give us something
[3:36] Speaker 1: fun to do.
[3:36] Speaker 3: She's saying she's out for it.
[3:38] Speaker 2: Let's go co.
[3:43] Speaker 6: So proud.
[3:44] Speaker 4: Okay, So we haven't got a firm yes at this point?
[3:49] Speaker 1: Why not?
[3:50] Speaker 4: The response I found was not underwhelmed exactly. It wasn't overwhelmed.
[3:56] Speaker 4: I probably put it in the whelmed kind of category.
[4:03] Speaker 4: I may have got maya across the line when I
[4:05] Speaker 4: mentioned sequence. Yes, nothing yet has been finalized. So look
[4:11] Speaker 4: I'm not giving up.
[4:12] Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not a no, right if it's not a no, yes, yes,
[4:16] Speaker 3: it's about yes.
[4:17] Speaker 2: So I've waited for fifty one years for a formal
[4:20] Speaker 2: I can wait another week.
[4:25] Speaker 4: I have got my hyper focus on this.
[4:27] Speaker 3: Yes.
[4:27] Speaker 4: I can already see the streamers, I can see the balloons,
[4:30] Speaker 4: I can see the taffeta. This is the only thing
[4:33] Speaker 4: I care about.
[4:34] Speaker 3: For kind, I think we need to put some pressure
[4:41] Speaker 3: on them.
[4:42] Speaker 4: I think so too, So I would say any Unleashes
[4:46] Speaker 4: at home who are listening and who loved the idea
[4:49] Speaker 4: of coming to Kat's spring fling.
[4:51] Speaker 7: In other words, everyone, everyone follow us on our Instagram
[4:56] Speaker 7: account at Unleashed Show, and we'll be putting updates in
[5:02] Speaker 7: there about what is happening.
[5:04] Speaker 4: Campaign write in the comments tell us that you to go.
[5:07] Speaker 4: We're going to make this.
[5:08] Speaker 1: Happen hashtag spring Fling.
[5:10] Speaker 3: Is a go.
[5:12] Speaker 4: Okay, So that's not the only excitement that's been happening
[5:16] Speaker 4: at the moment, Because Ginny, you've had a pretty big
[5:18] Speaker 4: month as well.
[5:19] Speaker 5: I have.
[5:19] Speaker 4: Do you want to tell us about why.
[5:21] Speaker 5: I actually released a book, the Women's Longevity Handbook, which
[5:27] Speaker 5: is almost tailor made for the Unleashes, because who is
[5:31] Speaker 5: not after a bit of longevity?
[5:32] Speaker 1: Whether you're woo wooing with your.
[5:35] Speaker 5: Stack like Sally, or you're manifesting a lot of prayers
[5:39] Speaker 5: or sort of manifesting a whole lot of good vibes
[5:42] Speaker 5: like Cath or you're like really getting your functui on
[5:45] Speaker 5: like Grace. There is something for everybody in there. Well
[5:48] Speaker 5: just hinting here, there's none of that stuff. It's actually
[5:50] Speaker 5: all just it's all just science. Yeah, it's actually yes,
[5:57] Speaker 5: there's no manifesting in here, but hopefully there is something
[6:00] Speaker 5: for everyone. And I love you guys. You guys have
[6:03] Speaker 5: been so like my sisters. You are so supportive as always.
[6:07] Speaker 5: This group is so cool.
[6:08] Speaker 1: And thank you to all the unlaciers as well, because they've.
[6:11] Speaker 5: Been sending me so many dms. They've been really really supportive,
[6:14] Speaker 5: and I'm just sending love back out to the Umlasia crew.
[6:17] Speaker 2: So for people that haven't seen the book out they yet,
[6:20] Speaker 2: what's in there? What are the juicy bets that we
[6:22] Speaker 2: need to listen to?
[6:23] Speaker 5: It is literally everything that midlife women, because this period.
[6:27] Speaker 1: Is pivotal for the rest of your life.
[6:28] Speaker 5: So it's about sleep, brain health, heart health, muscle health.
[6:32] Speaker 5: Do you need to give up your work and actually
[6:35] Speaker 5: eat your body weight and cottage cheese.
[6:37] Speaker 1: All the answers are inside here.
[6:38] Speaker 5: Do you need to worry about rheumatoid arthriters, autoimmune disease,
[6:42] Speaker 5: everything in your vagina, skin, hair, teasse, everything, It is
[6:47] Speaker 5: all in there, so.
[6:48] Speaker 3: Dr Genie in the Batta, Which chapter was the hardest
[6:53] Speaker 3: to write?
[6:53] Speaker 5: Actually, weirdly enough, it was the menopause chapter, because I
[6:57] Speaker 5: feel like I could and wait, I have written a
[6:59] Speaker 5: whole book about menopause, and trying to condense this thing
[7:03] Speaker 5: into a small number of words like I was not.
[7:06] Speaker 1: Allowed to give you a I had to actually really.
[7:08] Speaker 5: Condense this book, and the hardest thing was cutting it back,
[7:12] Speaker 5: but actually particularly menopause, like, getting this into a small
[7:15] Speaker 5: chapter was really really tough.
[7:16] Speaker 4: Oh, Bet Ginney, this book is about longevity, and we
[7:21] Speaker 4: are all obsessed with living longer. What's the magic bullet?
[7:25] Speaker 6: Okay?
[7:25] Speaker 5: I was really fascinated by this because I spent enough
[7:28] Speaker 5: time on TikTok and Instagram that I was convinced that
[7:32] Speaker 5: there was some stack out there that I should definitely
[7:34] Speaker 5: be on. Same it turns out that sadly, all of
[7:38] Speaker 5: the Woo Woo staff seems to be just complete garbage,
[7:42] Speaker 5: and the more research. We do, like, it's really good
[7:44] Speaker 5: if you do a study of seventeen people for three hours,
[7:48] Speaker 5: but beyond that, it actually just.
[7:49] Speaker 1: Falls off a cliff. And what actually really works and
[7:52] Speaker 1: the evidence just gets stronger is.
[7:54] Speaker 5: Your diet, your exercise, all of your good clean living.
[7:59] Speaker 5: We not that clein, but like good living. And I
[8:02] Speaker 5: just want to just share, like what I've learned on
[8:05] Speaker 5: this journey.
[8:05] Speaker 1: It was a really really interesing journey.
[8:07] Speaker 5: I speket to heaps and heaps of experts that blew
[8:10] Speaker 5: my mind with stuff like how can you tell whether
[8:14] Speaker 5: your saw knee should make you stop running or whether
[8:16] Speaker 5: you should go?
[8:17] Speaker 1: Oh, this is a good sign my running is actually
[8:19] Speaker 1: working for me.
[8:20] Speaker 5: Whether losing weight will actually help hand us writers like
[8:24] Speaker 5: things like that that were just so fascinating to learn.
[8:27] Speaker 5: I have shared every tip from every expert in this book.
[8:30] Speaker 6: Wow, we're going to start running cell.
[8:46] Speaker 4: So ladies.
[8:47] Speaker 3: Recently I saw on Instagram a later from Clad school.
[8:54] Speaker 3: She lives in a building complex. One of her neighbors
[8:58] Speaker 3: is always noisy every single freaking night, so no one
[9:02] Speaker 3: can get any sleep. You know what she did? What
[9:05] Speaker 3: She got a megaphone just before she went to bed
[9:09] Speaker 3: and blast out Flat eight B. Can you please turn
[9:14] Speaker 3: your music down? Everyone wants to go to bed, including me.
[9:18] Speaker 3: So she basically shamed this person and I've done that,
[9:22] Speaker 3: by the way.
[9:23] Speaker 6: What Oh yes.
[9:25] Speaker 3: So one of the places that I lived in in
[9:26] Speaker 3: Holland Park in London, which is very close to where
[9:29] Speaker 3: David Beckham is ill.
[9:31] Speaker 4: It's fancy, it's very right, and you're saying people are
[9:34] Speaker 4: decent there because it's a nice area. Oh no, not
[9:37] Speaker 4: my neighbor.
[9:39] Speaker 3: So my building was very small, short building, like not
[9:43] Speaker 3: a tall building. It's like three floors. I was in
[9:45] Speaker 3: the middle. New neighbor came in the top floor, this
[9:49] Speaker 3: young couple. I mean I was in my twenties. I
[9:51] Speaker 3: was also young. Every night the minute she moved in,
[9:57] Speaker 3: every night rave news. I mean, don't get me wrong,
[9:59] Speaker 3: I'm a raver too, but not every night three am,
[10:02] Speaker 3: four am, and then she will have sex really loud.
[10:05] Speaker 3: Oh it was just like so annoying for about a year.
[10:09] Speaker 3: So you know what I did every night when she's
[10:13] Speaker 3: that blasting her music, I will get my karaoke mic
[10:16] Speaker 3: out and I will turn my speaker up upwards to
[10:19] Speaker 3: the ceiling and I will blast my Chinese music and
[10:23] Speaker 3: saying that at the same time, have you ever heard
[10:26] Speaker 3: of Chinese opera? It's really loud and noisy and it's
[10:30] Speaker 3: a lot.
[10:30] Speaker 4: Wait, so did you ever before you retaliated, which I
[10:34] Speaker 4: completely respected, by the way, and wouldn't expect anything less,
[10:37] Speaker 4: But before you took to the Chinese opera, did you
[10:41] Speaker 4: contemplate having a conversation?
[10:44] Speaker 1: I did?
[10:45] Speaker 3: I mean, I'm contemplated or actually I actually did? I mean,
[10:48] Speaker 3: before I became unreasonable, I was actually a very.
[10:50] Speaker 4: Nice person to halized.
[10:52] Speaker 6: Yeah.
[10:52] Speaker 3: I went up to her. I gave her some cookies. Wow,
[10:56] Speaker 3: that's nice iron people believe it or not. So I
[10:58] Speaker 3: gave her some cookies as oh, you know, I'm your
[11:00] Speaker 3: neighbor downstairs, nice to meet you. Would you mind turning
[11:04] Speaker 3: down your music sometimes? You know, I understand, and we
[11:07] Speaker 3: all have mus and blah blah blah. She's like okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
[11:09] Speaker 3: but she was very unfriendly. Oh, very unfriendly. It got
[11:13] Speaker 3: to the point that it was like war, basically war.
[11:18] Speaker 3: I went food blown Chinatown, right, and then I had
[11:21] Speaker 3: to live because it was just not it was just
[11:24] Speaker 3: not good. Yeah, it was not Goodfore my own to
[11:26] Speaker 3: health and I just don't want to get worked up
[11:28] Speaker 3: every single night. Yeah, so my question is, ladies, has
[11:31] Speaker 3: that ever happened to you or have you had a
[11:34] Speaker 3: difficult neighbor that you had to deal with and what happened.
[11:37] Speaker 4: It's a tough one. Apart, I've always loved apartment living.
[11:41] Speaker 4: When I was single, I lived in apartments and then
[11:43] Speaker 4: for my first few years of being married, and I
[11:46] Speaker 4: think I always picture myself in an apartment towards the
[11:49] Speaker 4: end of my life. I like the security of it,
[11:51] Speaker 4: I like the low maintenance, all of those things. But
[11:54] Speaker 4: you do obviously take the risks of the neighbors, which
[11:57] Speaker 4: are much closer to you than if you have you know,
[12:01] Speaker 4: the next door, but particularly the banging on the you know,
[12:04] Speaker 4: the ones above you is always really bad. I am
[12:08] Speaker 4: not one to retaliate. In fact, at my last house,
[12:13] Speaker 4: I've just moved house. Thankfully. I lived next door to
[12:16] Speaker 4: these Brazilian renters who were obscenely good looking, all of them.
[12:22] Speaker 4: I don't understand that. There seemed to be multiple generations
[12:26] Speaker 4: who were in the house, and they used to have
[12:28] Speaker 4: these amazing parties with music. They'd have barbecues, sit all dancing,
[12:33] Speaker 4: and my kids would love it. They would go and
[12:35] Speaker 4: jump on the trampoline and they'd wave over the fen
[12:36] Speaker 4: and they were lovely that they would play the music
[12:40] Speaker 4: so loud until four five in the morning. And on
[12:45] Speaker 4: that side of the house. My bedroom was on the
[12:46] Speaker 4: other side, but on that side of the house where
[12:49] Speaker 4: my kids slept, it was so loud that they could
[12:50] Speaker 4: they would all come and jump into my bed so
[12:53] Speaker 4: that they could get away. And did I live there
[12:55] Speaker 4: for two and a half years. Did I ever say anything?
[12:58] Speaker 4: Absolutely not. I just let the kids sleep in my
[13:01] Speaker 4: bed on that night, and I prayed that someone else
[13:04] Speaker 4: would call the police. But I've just accepted that I'm
[13:07] Speaker 4: not a complainer. I really appreciate the complainers because I
[13:10] Speaker 4: get to enjoy the benefits of having that noise reduction
[13:13] Speaker 4: when you do complain. So thank you, Grace. But I
[13:16] Speaker 4: have other qualities, and one of them is not stopping
[13:18] Speaker 4: the noise. I look around for the adult to go
[13:20] Speaker 4: and sort that shit out, because I just really wanted
[13:22] Speaker 4: the Brazilian neighbors to like me.
[13:23] Speaker 2: Well, I might need grace. In my current abode. I'm
[13:28] Speaker 2: in a world of pain. Yes, I also think as
[13:31] Speaker 2: I've become a bit older, and maybe it's perry, but
[13:34] Speaker 2: I feel like I've got sonar like bats hearing, so
[13:37] Speaker 2: I will hear noise when yeah, and it's really which
[13:43] Speaker 2: is a real I don't even think it's a blessing.
[13:45] Speaker 6: It's just a curse. Shits me now.
[13:48] Speaker 2: So I've lived in my I'm on the top floor
[13:50] Speaker 2: of an art deco block. I've lived there for four years.
[13:53] Speaker 2: There's only fifteen apartments.
[13:54] Speaker 6: I love it. I did love it.
[13:57] Speaker 2: I share one common wall, which is my bedroom wall
[14:00] Speaker 2: and my neighbor's open plan kitchen and lounge. There was
[14:04] Speaker 2: always an older lady that lived in that apart until
[14:08] Speaker 2: she moved, and now there's a young couple and it's
[14:12] Speaker 2: the wall.
[14:13] Speaker 6: So I've done.
[14:14] Speaker 2: I've moved my bed head off the shared wall, so
[14:17] Speaker 2: I've moved my bedroom around. I've bought five different sets
[14:21] Speaker 2: of ear plugs. It's cost me a fortune. I've bought
[14:25] Speaker 2: a sound machine to try and.
[14:27] Speaker 6: Not hear the noise.
[14:29] Speaker 2: And so now when my son isn't home and they
[14:32] Speaker 2: have people over on a Saturday night because they're the
[14:34] Speaker 2: two am as a thrich, I have to sleep in
[14:36] Speaker 2: his room. So I am actually going to move out.
[14:39] Speaker 2: My lace is up in November and I can't.
[14:42] Speaker 6: I can't deal with it.
[14:43] Speaker 2: And the downside is I hear him at five am
[14:47] Speaker 2: when he wakes up to go to work, so that
[14:50] Speaker 2: starts your day off at five. But if they've not
[14:52] Speaker 2: gone to bed till like eleven thirty at night, which
[14:54] Speaker 2: is so fine, people can have a life.
[14:56] Speaker 6: I like to be in bed by nine thirty.
[14:58] Speaker 2: Then I'm staying away till eleven thirty and I'm hearing
[15:01] Speaker 2: him p at five am eleven a shower.
[15:03] Speaker 3: So spoken to them.
[15:05] Speaker 6: I have the first So.
[15:06] Speaker 2: They move in, and they were really noisy, and by
[15:10] Speaker 2: the second weekend that they were there, she smashed a window.
[15:14] Speaker 2: It was so noisy, and the lady that lives underneath her,
[15:18] Speaker 2: we were like, this is not okay. We've allowed them
[15:21] Speaker 2: to move in and make moving in this is ridiculous.
[15:25] Speaker 2: And so I'm not very confrontational, so I did.
[15:28] Speaker 6: I knocked the door.
[15:29] Speaker 2: The next day, I was so frazzled and I just
[15:32] Speaker 2: went I just was so shaky. Anyway, I just said,
[15:35] Speaker 2: the noise travels, you guys, don't it's a wooden floor,
[15:37] Speaker 2: you know, it's a really I was like, it's a
[15:39] Speaker 2: quiet building.
[15:40] Speaker 6: Yeah, quiet, It's like.
[15:46] Speaker 2: She was just she had an un you know, can
[15:48] Speaker 2: I say unhinged just slightly like.
[15:50] Speaker 6: One of those looks, and she was. She sort of
[15:52] Speaker 6: didn't apologize.
[15:53] Speaker 2: If I had just moved into a block and not
[15:56] Speaker 2: a deco like nineteen twenty s block and smashed a window,
[15:59] Speaker 2: I would have been like, OD, I'm so sorry.
[16:01] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[16:02] Speaker 4: So so far we've got Grace who would complain, cath
[16:04] Speaker 4: and I who would.
[16:05] Speaker 5: Move, Yeah, have moved, And well, my entire neighborhood is
[16:12] Speaker 5: at war.
[16:14] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.
[16:15] Speaker 5: So there is a house I better not say too much,
[16:19] Speaker 5: but like, very very very close to me where there
[16:22] Speaker 5: was a protracted building project which the neighbors not only
[16:29] Speaker 5: from my street but from like the street that backs
[16:31] Speaker 5: onto us joined like it's it's a big war and
[16:36] Speaker 5: to object against the correct and then evidently the people
[16:40] Speaker 5: who were doing the building apparently are not very nice people.
[16:44] Speaker 1: And so there was.
[16:46] Speaker 5: A lot of words had across the neighborhood, and I
[16:50] Speaker 5: moved in to the eye of the storm.
[16:53] Speaker 1: I had to well, I don't do that. I don't
[16:59] Speaker 1: do it in divorces.
[17:00] Speaker 5: I don't do it when I've got patients where the
[17:03] Speaker 5: husband comes in and tells me his side of the
[17:05] Speaker 5: story and the life comes in and tells me do
[17:07] Speaker 5: that I am. I am Switzerland. So when it comes
[17:10] Speaker 5: to the neighbors, I am Switzerland. But they were getting
[17:13] Speaker 5: pretty pissy that I was not joining the campaign at council.
[17:19] Speaker 4: You've got to join the campaign. You need like you've
[17:21] Speaker 4: got to pick aside. You're not a doctor anymore. This
[17:23] Speaker 4: is in your neighborhood.
[17:24] Speaker 1: This is and you know, but you know your dog
[17:27] Speaker 1: could be poisoned. I don't know. So I have so
[17:30] Speaker 1: figh neighborhood.
[17:32] Speaker 6: It's a very lovely neighborhood. It is.
[17:34] Speaker 1: Yes, it's very leafy with it's very quiet.
[17:38] Speaker 4: But they're often the ones exactly right.
[17:40] Speaker 5: They are the exact ones you've got to watch. And
[17:43] Speaker 5: I am just hedging my beds. I'm remaining Switzerland. I
[17:46] Speaker 5: don't know how long I'm going.
[17:47] Speaker 1: To be able to do it for.
[17:49] Speaker 5: And you know, when somebody comes over to try and
[17:51] Speaker 5: recruit me to their cause, I'm like, yep, absolutely, I'm
[17:54] Speaker 5: there with you. And then the other side comes over
[17:56] Speaker 5: and I do the exact same thing.
[17:58] Speaker 4: You're the voter who takes every card, I am.
[18:01] Speaker 2: I do that too, Yeah, I actually yeah, And your
[18:03] Speaker 2: street could end up on a current affair.
[18:05] Speaker 1: I reckon, come in. Yeah, I know, Sally, We've got
[18:09] Speaker 1: to talk. I have just got so many stories.
[18:10] Speaker 5: So the problem is that they get together and go,
[18:12] Speaker 5: Ginny's on our side, and they're like, no, Ginny's on
[18:14] Speaker 5: our side anyway. I'm just definitely I'm not going to
[18:17] Speaker 5: make my numbers stuff.
[18:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's basically it's coming to get me and I'm
[18:22] Speaker 1: getting not at all anxious about it. I don't give
[18:25] Speaker 1: a shit.
[18:25] Speaker 5: I'm just like staying Switzerland and I'm not getting involved.
[18:28] Speaker 5: I don't know, Grace, I feel like you would not
[18:30] Speaker 5: be this calm in my situation.
[18:33] Speaker 3: Oh I'm not a calm person. I mean, as you're no,
[18:35] Speaker 3: but I think you do need to pick a side.
[18:38] Speaker 4: So talking about crazy neighborhood stories, I almost had a
[18:43] Speaker 4: big windfall on Facebook Marketplace this day.
[18:46] Speaker 6: I mean almost.
[18:47] Speaker 4: Well this is the story. So I, as you know,
[18:51] Speaker 4: I've recently moved into a new house. I'm decorating on
[18:53] Speaker 4: a shoe string and I've actually been obsessed with these
[18:57] Speaker 4: nice hand blown glass sort of ornaments and I found
[19:01] Speaker 4: these beautiful There's this beautiful bowl and plate dirt. Cheap
[19:06] Speaker 4: was like twenty bucks both of them, and it was
[19:08] Speaker 4: available right near my house, and so I went straight
[19:12] Speaker 4: into the DMS. I wrung it up. I said, I'll
[19:14] Speaker 4: take it, And then I started driving there on the
[19:17] Speaker 4: way back from dropping my kids at school. And it
[19:20] Speaker 4: was one of those neighborhoods that you know is nearby,
[19:23] Speaker 4: but you haven't actually been there before. And suddenly you know,
[19:27] Speaker 4: I live in a fairly nice kind of neighborhood, but
[19:29] Speaker 4: suddenly it kind of drops off a cliff, and you're
[19:30] Speaker 4: starting to like wind the windows up and think, what
[19:34] Speaker 4: locked the door? Where are we now? And anyway, I
[19:37] Speaker 4: pulled up in front of this house and there were
[19:40] Speaker 4: a few other cars in the street, and I got
[19:43] Speaker 4: out and outside this very nice, little suburban, blond brick home,
[19:47] Speaker 4: there was a short line of people waiting outside, and
[19:51] Speaker 4: so I joined the line and I got to chatting,
[19:53] Speaker 4: and it turned out that this woman was selling her
[19:56] Speaker 4: mother's goods. She her mother had passed away, and she
[20:00] Speaker 4: was selling items, and she had a very strict system.
[20:04] Speaker 4: So people would come to the door, they would knock,
[20:07] Speaker 4: I would say what they had bought. The door would open,
[20:09] Speaker 4: then it would close again, and off the woman would go.
[20:12] Speaker 4: She would come back, she'd hand over the goods. She
[20:15] Speaker 4: sent them to a little table where they were able
[20:17] Speaker 4: to inspect the goods and if all was fine, the
[20:19] Speaker 4: money was exchange enough, they went. So I am a
[20:22] Speaker 4: rule follower. I went. I followed the rule. I was
[20:25] Speaker 4: ready and waiting with my cash in my hand. Got
[20:28] Speaker 4: to my turn, same thing. Door opened. She handed me
[20:31] Speaker 4: a plate and a bowl and they were cling filmed,
[20:34] Speaker 4: which I thought was really interesting. Not a bad way
[20:37] Speaker 4: actually to protect glass. And she said, go to the
[20:41] Speaker 4: table and check it out. Now I wouldn't normally do that.
[20:45] Speaker 4: I tend to trust and just throw it in the car.
[20:47] Speaker 4: I'd properly break on the way home, and that's my fault.
[20:49] Speaker 4: But I thought everyone else is doing it, I'll do
[20:51] Speaker 4: it too. So I went to the little table, unpeeled
[20:55] Speaker 4: the clean wrap off the first one, fine, took it off,
[20:59] Speaker 4: unrepealed the second one off the bowl and the ball
[21:02] Speaker 4: is full of cash what with elastic bands? I reckon
[21:09] Speaker 4: it was a thousand, couple of thousands wrapped up.
[21:13] Speaker 1: It is for twenty bucks. I'll take it, Oh my god.
[21:16] Speaker 4: And I was with There was another guy there and
[21:18] Speaker 4: he was like, I bought the wrong thing. And so
[21:22] Speaker 4: I went back because I am you know, I'm a
[21:23] Speaker 4: raw follower, and I went back, knocked on the door.
[21:26] Speaker 4: The woman answered, very irritably, what are you doing back?
[21:30] Speaker 4: And I held it up and I saw the moment
[21:33] Speaker 4: of realizing that, like she obviously I don't know if
[21:34] Speaker 4: she'd been looking for it, but she recognized it immediately
[21:38] Speaker 4: before I could even sort of explain what happened.
[21:40] Speaker 6: And she took it, grabbed it a bat and she shot.
[21:44] Speaker 4: And I was like, right, okay, anyway, this is my
[21:48] Speaker 4: I don't have any way of confirming this, but my
[21:50] Speaker 4: take is that her mother had obviously hidden some money
[21:52] Speaker 4: in there, and that was something that now she had found.
[21:56] Speaker 4: Now I have my own story of this happening to
[21:58] Speaker 4: me a few years back, when my great auntie Gwen
[22:01] Speaker 4: rang me. She was on her way to the hospital.
[22:03] Speaker 4: She'd had a fall, and she rang to let me know.
[22:06] Speaker 4: I thought that she was going to be there and
[22:08] Speaker 4: to meet her at the hospital, and I said, all right,
[22:10] Speaker 4: I'll be there soon, and she said, I need you
[22:12] Speaker 4: to go to my home seal and you need to
[22:14] Speaker 4: let yourself in, and you need to go into the
[22:17] Speaker 4: spare bedroom, behind the chest of drawers, under a pile
[22:22] Speaker 4: of newspaper. You'll find my hot water bottle. And I'm
[22:26] Speaker 4: just like, right, I can pick you up a hot
[22:28] Speaker 4: water I've got one here. Why don't I just bring
[22:30] Speaker 4: that in? And she said, no, no, I need you
[22:33] Speaker 4: to go and get my hot water bottle. Okay, great,
[22:36] Speaker 4: went to her house. On the way there, I'm on
[22:39] Speaker 4: the speaker phone with all of my family and everyone
[22:42] Speaker 4: is trying to guess what they think it might be.
[22:44] Speaker 4: You know, my brother's thought drugs, you know, maybe she
[22:47] Speaker 4: was a granny drug dealer, something like that. Turns out
[22:50] Speaker 4: thirty thousand dollars hot water bottle.
[22:54] Speaker 1: Who because she how did she get it in?
[22:57] Speaker 5: Well?
[22:58] Speaker 4: It was rolled again, elastic bands enrolled and she was
[23:02] Speaker 4: getting a pension, and I think she didn't what She's
[23:04] Speaker 4: gone to that big poker venue in the sky now,
[23:06] Speaker 4: So there's no need to come after her if you're
[23:09] Speaker 4: But she was a tax evader. And the worst bit
[23:12] Speaker 4: about it is then once we had taken custody of it,
[23:15] Speaker 4: we're thinking what do we do with it? And so
[23:18] Speaker 4: I had to take it to the bank nine hundred
[23:22] Speaker 4: and ninety nine dollars at a time to put it
[23:24] Speaker 4: into her bank.
[23:26] Speaker 6: Yes, it's going to be entertainer isn't it.
[23:29] Speaker 4: So I am wondering because I am the kind of
[23:32] Speaker 4: basic bitch that just puts my money in the bank.
[23:36] Speaker 4: But there are all these great stories about people hiding
[23:39] Speaker 4: it in the walls and the hot water bottles and
[23:41] Speaker 4: the plastic bowls. Do you guys have any stories about
[23:44] Speaker 4: people hiding money? Do you hide your money? If so weird,
[23:47] Speaker 4: do you hide it? I need to hear your stories.
[23:50] Speaker 4: I don't hide anything.
[23:51] Speaker 3: Is I'm cash list these days when people got over
[23:54] Speaker 3: got cash, I'm are you crazy? After COVID, I'm like,
[23:56] Speaker 3: no cash. So that's very common in that generation.
[23:59] Speaker 4: I think it's the germs. You don't like the cash.
[24:02] Speaker 3: No. I mean having said that, I do wash my money,
[24:05] Speaker 3: do you yes? I washed all her money? Oh my,
[24:08] Speaker 3: anytime in the saying with soapeople payer money.
[24:11] Speaker 6: Yes.
[24:14] Speaker 4: Do you know what? Ladies?
[24:15] Speaker 1: Try it?
[24:15] Speaker 3: When you go home tonight. You can wash your money,
[24:18] Speaker 3: the notes and just let it dry. It drives anyway.
[24:21] Speaker 3: My point is my grandmother put everything in like biscuit tins,
[24:25] Speaker 3: you know, stuff like that. That's what they do in
[24:27] Speaker 3: that generation. My mother sometimes I think, But my mother
[24:31] Speaker 3: all our family apartment in Hong Kong, she had a
[24:35] Speaker 3: lot of hidden like drawers and stuff. And she hide
[24:40] Speaker 3: all her jewelry like safe somewhere. I mean, I don't
[24:43] Speaker 3: know where they are, but sometimes she hide her money
[24:45] Speaker 3: in there. So you need to know, you need.
[24:47] Speaker 1: To do That's the point.
[24:49] Speaker 4: Like I was, I said to Gwynn, what would you
[24:50] Speaker 4: have done if we didn't know?
[24:53] Speaker 6: You would have definitely chucked a hot water bottle out?
[24:55] Speaker 3: She said, the people at Goodwill would have had a windfall.
[25:01] Speaker 3: If that guy took your plate, he would not have
[25:03] Speaker 3: given Yeah.
[25:05] Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I always think that there's bad karma in
[25:08] Speaker 4: taking someone else money, but I do think that they
[25:13] Speaker 4: have to tell at least one person. If you are
[25:15] Speaker 4: going to hide your money and you are towards the
[25:17] Speaker 4: end of your life or ill, it might make sense
[25:20] Speaker 4: to let someone know who've hidden the cash.
[25:23] Speaker 3: I know, it's crazy, do gd you hide anything.
[25:25] Speaker 1: I don't have anything to hide. I'm just trying to
[25:27] Speaker 1: think of something.
[25:28] Speaker 3: I've got no money to hide, what cash and and.
[25:33] Speaker 5: Like jewelry, I'm sort of not a big jewelry person,
[25:36] Speaker 5: so I have lots of fake stuff.
[25:37] Speaker 1: But you know, if you want that.
[25:41] Speaker 5: Whatever, I yeah, just don't really have and I don't
[25:45] Speaker 5: have medications.
[25:47] Speaker 1: But my script pads. Script pads, you know, in the
[25:50] Speaker 1: days before you.
[25:52] Speaker 5: Had electronic like SMS scripts, you had script pads, which
[25:56] Speaker 5: if they fell into the wrong hands, you could be
[25:59] Speaker 5: the person supplying all of the sleeping pills and that
[26:02] Speaker 5: full on painkillers to like everybody in the neighborhood. So
[26:05] Speaker 5: those were the things that I did need to.
[26:07] Speaker 4: Like did you have them under lock and key or
[26:09] Speaker 4: how did you hide them?
[26:10] Speaker 5: Because I don't have a safe, I don't have any
[26:13] Speaker 5: of that sort of stuff. You're meant to sort of
[26:15] Speaker 5: keep them in your surgery in like behind lock and key.
[26:20] Speaker 5: But like often I'd bring one home just in case
[26:23] Speaker 5: and sort of hide it under a parlor paper or
[26:25] Speaker 5: between some books, and then I'd forget where i'd lave it,
[26:28] Speaker 5: and then my mum would say I need something in
[26:31] Speaker 5: some emergency and I'd.
[26:31] Speaker 1: Be like, yeah, I can't find where it is.
[26:34] Speaker 4: Check.
[26:34] Speaker 1: Yes, that's the only thing I've ever needed to hide.
[26:36] Speaker 2: Well, Sal, I've got to say, if I found the
[26:39] Speaker 2: cash like you did, I would have absolutely done the
[26:42] Speaker 2: same thing. Because I'm an absolute stickler for the rules.
[26:45] Speaker 2: I really am quite anal when it comes to rule keeping.
[26:49] Speaker 2: I was the person in COVID that like just never
[26:52] Speaker 2: broke a rule. I would not see anyone if they're
[26:54] Speaker 2: outside the five ks. I'm the person that comes out
[26:57] Speaker 2: the tunnel or the bridge in Sydney at the moment
[26:59] Speaker 2: they're changing all the lanes from eighty to sixty and
[27:02] Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm the one cargoing sixty is all the
[27:05] Speaker 2: trucks are going past to eighty and I'm like.
[27:07] Speaker 6: You not seeing this? I go as far as there's
[27:10] Speaker 6: a I always walk in Centennial Park.
[27:12] Speaker 2: There's a lane that you shouldn't take because it's a
[27:14] Speaker 2: bike lane, and I've seen a lot of people stop
[27:16] Speaker 2: by the cops doing it. So I'm a stickle of it,
[27:19] Speaker 2: like waiting till I can turn, and then I'll get
[27:21] Speaker 2: out of the car to people who've done that. If
[27:23] Speaker 2: the lights are on red and go f YI, there's
[27:27] Speaker 2: usually cops there and you get like three points and
[27:29] Speaker 2: about four hundred dollars, which I've got. I've had a
[27:31] Speaker 2: mixed review of banks and puck Off. But I broke
[27:37] Speaker 2: the rules.
[27:38] Speaker 4: What did you do.
[27:41] Speaker 6: Actually broke the rules?
[27:43] Speaker 2: I went in to my local supermarket and you know
[27:47] Speaker 2: how there are like parking bays just for people who
[27:49] Speaker 2: are clicking collecting? Yeah, an hour shop to let some sushi,
[27:56] Speaker 2: and then came back. Why I was there was nobody
[28:02] Speaker 2: park there, and they've just I mean, I was going
[28:04] Speaker 2: to shop at the Click and collect supermarket. It I
[28:08] Speaker 2: just hadn't for you know, for thought to do it.
[28:11] Speaker 2: So disappointing, I know, and I couldn't make eye contact
[28:14] Speaker 2: with the lovely lady that was delivering someone's click and
[28:17] Speaker 2: collect to another car.
[28:18] Speaker 6: She was on.
[28:21] Speaker 1: To get out of there, get out of Dodge.
[28:23] Speaker 3: Did that make you feel good?
[28:24] Speaker 6: I'm in therapy.
[28:28] Speaker 1: To undred thousand of friends twitch.
[28:31] Speaker 2: As they say, Grace, tell me, do you break the rules?
[28:36] Speaker 6: You keep the rules?
[28:37] Speaker 4: I mean people think.
[28:39] Speaker 3: I break the rule all the time in certain places
[28:41] Speaker 3: and things. I mean when you say to me, oh,
[28:43] Speaker 3: don't wear that, don't do it, I'm like, watch me, yeah,
[28:45] Speaker 3: fuck you.
[28:46] Speaker 4: You like to break a fashion rule?
[28:47] Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely.
[28:49] Speaker 3: But I'm a bit like you're like, you know, I
[28:50] Speaker 3: drive for a safe you know, under a limit.
[28:53] Speaker 1: All of that.
[28:54] Speaker 3: But I think when it comes to personality, when people go, oh,
[28:57] Speaker 3: you know, I don't like this about you. What I
[28:59] Speaker 3: don't change for people? You know, So in that kind
[29:01] Speaker 3: of not really I mean I do break rules in
[29:04] Speaker 3: certain areas, but not some.
[29:06] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[29:07] Speaker 4: Any would you be able like a rule follower to meet?
[29:09] Speaker 6: Yeah?
[29:10] Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm definitely a goody two shoes and
[29:14] Speaker 5: I have like staked my entire life on being like
[29:18] Speaker 5: the basically the girl scout, the school captain of goody
[29:22] Speaker 5: two shoeses. So I lie to in COVID was like
[29:27] Speaker 5: every time my neighbors would be like lighting up a
[29:29] Speaker 5: joint with you know, five hookers in the next door
[29:32] Speaker 5: in the.
[29:32] Speaker 6: Spa do that.
[29:36] Speaker 5: I did find out that it's a psychological issue, is it?
[29:41] Speaker 1: Yes, it has a name.
[29:42] Speaker 6: What is it?
[29:42] Speaker 5: Yeah? So it's a schemer. It's a schemer of justice
[29:46] Speaker 5: and fairness.
[29:47] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[29:48] Speaker 1: Have you heard of this as anyone? I had, but
[29:51] Speaker 1: I had it.
[29:51] Speaker 4: I have heard of the schemers, but I didn't know this.
[29:53] Speaker 3: Yees.
[29:54] Speaker 5: So it's when you think everybody should adhere to the rules,
[29:58] Speaker 5: and then it upsets you when other people are not
[30:02] Speaker 5: adhering to the rules. So you see someone I've got
[30:05] Speaker 5: that talking stability spot or on a no standing and
[30:09] Speaker 5: you're like, you can't do that, and then it really
[30:10] Speaker 5: upsets you. But the person who's doing it doesn't care,
[30:14] Speaker 5: and part of your schema therapy is to accept that
[30:18] Speaker 5: the world is not a fair place and to let
[30:21] Speaker 5: it go so that it doesn't upset you anymore.
[30:23] Speaker 4: Does it mean that something happened to us will be
[30:25] Speaker 4: stabbed in the back of the nineteen forties in a
[30:27] Speaker 4: past life.
[30:28] Speaker 5: I'm sure it means that for absolutely every single person
[30:31] Speaker 5: who has a system of justice and a schemer. Now,
[30:34] Speaker 5: I think it could be different for everyone, But I
[30:36] Speaker 5: love a good psychobabble term. I like to drop them
[30:39] Speaker 5: around like a pigeon, like pupping on everything.
[30:42] Speaker 1: And I just like, you're welcome.
[30:43] Speaker 5: I've just explained to you why it's our schemer, it's
[30:47] Speaker 5: your schemer, and you need to address this is very important.
[30:49] Speaker 5: So your rule breaking.
[30:51] Speaker 1: Which we all see as a virtue. Let's be honest.
[30:53] Speaker 5: We see we're like very out and proud with our
[30:56] Speaker 5: halo shining all of us going, aren't we very very
[30:59] Speaker 5: good rule followers? And tuch to everybody else who's not?
[31:02] Speaker 5: Turns out where the ones are the issues?
[31:04] Speaker 4: But do you think there's some science behind that that
[31:07] Speaker 4: that rule followers tend to very much attract rule breakers
[31:12] Speaker 4: like my partner, my best friend, the large majority of
[31:19] Speaker 4: my female friends are rule breakers and I am the
[31:22] Speaker 4: rule follower to the point that they will troll me.
[31:25] Speaker 7: Bye.
[31:25] Speaker 4: I once was coming back from a girl's trip to
[31:27] Speaker 4: Noosa and all of my friends carried fruit through the
[31:31] Speaker 4: buzzy machine because they were saying it didn't matter, and
[31:36] Speaker 4: I was pointing out the rules. I was so close
[31:40] Speaker 4: to actually going and tapping one of the guards and saying.
[31:43] Speaker 1: Bio hazard alone.
[31:44] Speaker 4: Chappelle corbio.
[31:47] Speaker 6: Fruit coming in.
[31:51] Speaker 5: So true.
[31:52] Speaker 4: I think, do you guys have got rule brokers in
[31:54] Speaker 4: your life?
[31:55] Speaker 5: Husband is a complete rule breaker, but it's like he's
[31:58] Speaker 5: the passive aggressive rule breaker. So he's got this thing
[32:01] Speaker 5: where like if somebody sends him an email that he
[32:03] Speaker 5: finds irritating, he will just rather than go, look, can
[32:07] Speaker 5: you rethink this and just send it again, he will
[32:10] Speaker 5: just ignore it. And so some people don't know whether
[32:13] Speaker 5: he's ignored their email because he hasn't seen it, so
[32:15] Speaker 5: they'll just resend it for six or seven times that
[32:18] Speaker 5: don't quite work out that he's like just giving them
[32:20] Speaker 5: a big light up yours. I mean, it has a
[32:22] Speaker 5: huge rule breaker and like, I find it's so hot.
[32:25] Speaker 4: Well, my best friend is so into rule breaking and
[32:28] Speaker 4: trolling me that she will occasionally, if we are in
[32:31] Speaker 4: the car together and there's no one else around, she'll
[32:35] Speaker 4: just go through a red light, and as she's doing it,
[32:37] Speaker 4: she'll just look at me like this.
[32:39] Speaker 1: No, and do you find it a bit hot?
[32:41] Speaker 3: No?
[32:42] Speaker 6: I find it distressing, distressing, and.
[32:46] Speaker 3: It's very distressing.
[32:47] Speaker 4: But it's interesting that you came with the schema information, Ginny,
[32:51] Speaker 4: because I also came prepared as a rule follower that i'mllent,
[32:54] Speaker 4: and I did some research into the spiritual reasons that
[32:57] Speaker 4: we may be rule followers, which I thought would appear
[32:59] Speaker 4: to Ucap and not at all to Eugene. So some
[33:03] Speaker 4: spiritual reasons that you may be a rule follower, that
[33:06] Speaker 4: you're an old soul, you have lived many lifetimes and
[33:09] Speaker 4: learned your lessons. You return the trolley because three incarnations
[33:13] Speaker 4: ago you didn't, and the universe still remembers rule breakers
[33:17] Speaker 4: baby souls. First, rodeo. The second reason you've got a
[33:21] Speaker 4: Capricorn moon somewhere in your chart, Saturn, the planet planet
[33:25] Speaker 4: of discipline and cosmic rule enforcement, is running the show.
[33:28] Speaker 4: Saturn doesn't do close enough. Saturn indicates Capricorn, and Saturn
[33:32] Speaker 4: is my ruling planet.
[33:33] Speaker 6: I did know that about you.
[33:34] Speaker 4: Your energy needs to flow. Chaos scrambles your chakra. Oh,
[33:39] Speaker 4: rules are just boundaries, and boundaries are self care. You're
[33:42] Speaker 4: not rigid. You're protecting your peace. Second last one, it's
[33:47] Speaker 4: past life calma. You were clearly a monk, or a
[33:50] Speaker 4: lighthouse keeper or a medieval scribe ruling straight margins by candlelight.
[33:55] Speaker 4: The soul remembers the margins. And finally, you're a highly
[33:59] Speaker 4: sensitive EmPATH. When someone doesn't indicate you feel it in
[34:03] Speaker 4: your body, that's not anxiety, that spiritual achunement. So if
[34:07] Speaker 4: you need a line to explain that you're a rule follower,
[34:10] Speaker 4: you can go with I'm not neurotic. I'm an old
[34:13] Speaker 4: soul with a Capricorn moon protecting my peace. My therapist
[34:16] Speaker 4: calls it anxiety, but she doesn't know my chart.
[34:18] Speaker 6: Yeah, I thought very much. May thank you.
[34:37] Speaker 2: Okay, it is time for other people's problems. This is
[34:40] Speaker 2: a part of the show where you send us your dilemmas,
[34:43] Speaker 2: your questions, and your moral gray areas, and we attempt
[34:46] Speaker 2: to well. I guess of for good advice. Let's see
[34:49] Speaker 2: what we've got this week. This week's problem comes from Kelly. Ladies,
[34:53] Speaker 2: I need your help specifically from Miss Sally and Miss Mahoney.
[34:58] Speaker 6: Two years ago.
[34:59] Speaker 2: I ended my fourteen year relationship, married eleven years and
[35:02] Speaker 2: have three gorgeous girls. We tried therapy but had outgrown
[35:05] Speaker 2: each other amicable now and I still consider him a friend,
[35:10] Speaker 2: even if I'm grateful he's my ex. So now I'm
[35:12] Speaker 2: back in the dating game, which I'd never really done before.
[35:16] Speaker 2: Updating has given me trauma. I've been ghosted mid date.
[35:20] Speaker 2: I've been motor booted. Motive booted during a motivoated?
[35:24] Speaker 4: Is that when between the buzzies.
[35:26] Speaker 2: Yes, must be most motor boated they had nowdays during
[35:32] Speaker 2: a hug because the guy was so short. Men in
[35:36] Speaker 2: my area actually suck anytime I match. Now, I freeze
[35:39] Speaker 2: and have no idea how to turn it into a date.
[35:42] Speaker 2: How do I get myself out of the rut and
[35:44] Speaker 2: out on some dates? I love myself. I know I'm
[35:47] Speaker 2: amazing human and fun to be around, but I just
[35:50] Speaker 2: have this thought, why the hell would a man choose
[35:53] Speaker 2: me to date?
[35:54] Speaker 6: Too much to handle? Any advice would be gratefully received.
[35:58] Speaker 4: Oh geez, the first of all, love yourself.
[36:01] Speaker 3: Come on, Yes, any guys who's going to come along
[36:04] Speaker 3: should be lucky to have you, to be with you,
[36:07] Speaker 3: have you sorry, but definitely love yourself.
[36:09] Speaker 1: So that's to start.
[36:10] Speaker 6: That's a good start.
[36:11] Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that there was two things that jumped
[36:13] Speaker 4: out to me. Then there's the first one is that
[36:16] Speaker 4: you know, how do we get out there and how
[36:18] Speaker 4: to date? And obviously the apps can be problematic. And
[36:23] Speaker 4: then the other part is about her own feelings about herself,
[36:27] Speaker 4: which I think she said that she does love herself.
[36:30] Speaker 4: But then she followed that up by saying, I don't
[36:33] Speaker 4: know why a man would choose me or something.
[36:36] Speaker 6: Is that what she says?
[36:36] Speaker 4: Yes, I wonder we're missing a bit of information, Like
[36:41] Speaker 4: I'm interested in how long it's been since the relationship ended,
[36:46] Speaker 4: how old you are?
[36:47] Speaker 3: You know?
[36:47] Speaker 4: And I only asked that because sometimes you know, those
[36:50] Speaker 4: really having really young children as well, a lot of
[36:53] Speaker 4: things can affect your readiness and self esteem and all
[36:56] Speaker 4: of those things. I can say, just because they specifically
[37:02] Speaker 4: mentioned me, I have never felt more common and more
[37:10] Speaker 4: self love than I do right now. And it wasn't
[37:12] Speaker 4: something that magically came after I got divorced. So I
[37:16] Speaker 4: can say now, three years down the track, I feel
[37:19] Speaker 4: so much more centered and so much more self love.
[37:26] Speaker 4: It's because I did take a bit of time. So
[37:28] Speaker 4: that's the other thing. I had a bit of time
[37:30] Speaker 4: to where I did meditation causes, I did a lot
[37:35] Speaker 4: of therapy, a lot of journaling. I really threw myself
[37:38] Speaker 4: into healing from my divorce like it was a job.
[37:43] Speaker 4: And even then it was a year when I met
[37:45] Speaker 4: my partner sort of by accident, and I wondered if
[37:48] Speaker 4: that was you know, that seemed to come about quite quickly.
[37:52] Speaker 4: And I think that then when you are out there
[37:55] Speaker 4: meeting people can happen in all sorts of ways. But
[37:58] Speaker 4: I am a bit of a believer, and this is
[38:00] Speaker 4: where I do a cynical bitch, but I.
[38:02] Speaker 1: Also will skew woo woo.
[38:04] Speaker 4: I think there is something about when your light is on,
[38:07] Speaker 4: and I think that there was a moment and I remember,
[38:10] Speaker 4: for me, my light was absolutely off. I was not
[38:13] Speaker 4: interested in dating. I was all about me healing, you know,
[38:17] Speaker 4: and just getting to the depths of you know, what
[38:21] Speaker 4: I could do and who I was. And then I
[38:23] Speaker 4: went on a girl's trip with my closest girlfriends, and
[38:27] Speaker 4: some moment on that trip, I thought, I think I'm
[38:30] Speaker 4: ready to go on a date, and my friend Sasha
[38:34] Speaker 4: said to me, I noticed your light come on. You
[38:36] Speaker 4: just figured out that you were ready and your light
[38:39] Speaker 4: came on. And a week later I met Dan. And
[38:42] Speaker 4: I hate those people who say, you know, it's like
[38:45] Speaker 4: saying to a pregnant or if somebody wants a baby,
[38:47] Speaker 4: as soon as you stop trying it or happen. I
[38:49] Speaker 4: don't think it's as simple as that, But I do
[38:51] Speaker 4: think that you get to a point of healing and
[38:55] Speaker 4: readiness where it stops being about them, needing them to
[38:59] Speaker 4: feel avoiding you, and more about you feel devoid and say,
[39:04] Speaker 4: now you're ready. You know, I think it's you sort of.
[39:07] Speaker 4: I've got a reverse engineer. It fill all your holes
[39:09] Speaker 4: yourself and then I open yourself up with your life.
[39:12] Speaker 3: I've been on dating app. Does it make you feel
[39:16] Speaker 3: less confident the more you are on it? Because it
[39:19] Speaker 3: seems like all this story comes out that I will
[39:21] Speaker 3: feel quite insecure, even though I'm a confident person, because
[39:24] Speaker 3: all the stories I hear, it seems so hard to
[39:27] Speaker 3: get on these apps.
[39:28] Speaker 2: Well, I came off the apps because and I don't
[39:31] Speaker 2: want to say this to Kelly, because if Kelly's new
[39:34] Speaker 2: on them, it's totally different, but after quite a few
[39:36] Speaker 2: years you do see the same people doing the rounds
[39:39] Speaker 2: again on the apps and doing the rounds again on
[39:41] Speaker 2: the apps. So for me, I feel like I've really
[39:46] Speaker 2: tried the apps, you know, when I was in a
[39:47] Speaker 2: long term relationship from someone I met on an app
[39:50] Speaker 2: a few years back, so they can work, but I'm
[39:53] Speaker 2: all about now.
[39:55] Speaker 6: Meeting someone in real life.
[39:57] Speaker 2: Like today, coming to do the pod, my driver took
[40:01] Speaker 2: me to North Sydney by accident missed the turn.
[40:03] Speaker 6: Off, so we went through the tunnel.
[40:05] Speaker 2: We're not in North Sydney where we record this, so
[40:07] Speaker 2: I ended up getting out and walking through the city
[40:09] Speaker 2: and I was just like, I just need.
[40:11] Speaker 6: To be kind of where men are.
[40:13] Speaker 2: Like there were city men everywhere and you smile at
[40:15] Speaker 2: a few, like I just I think in real life
[40:19] Speaker 2: you get an energy from someone.
[40:20] Speaker 6: Yeah, and also in photos.
[40:23] Speaker 2: You can't get the essence of someone. You know, someone
[40:26] Speaker 2: could be great in photos and not great in real life.
[40:28] Speaker 2: Mary said this to me a long time ago. I
[40:30] Speaker 2: think it's from her mum, and it's like, you know,
[40:32] Speaker 2: love is a feeling, not a shape, And the older
[40:35] Speaker 2: I get, I think, yeah, you think you want it
[40:37] Speaker 2: to look like something. But actually I just want to
[40:39] Speaker 2: I want to have the feels with someone, which you
[40:41] Speaker 2: can't do on an app. So I'm all about, you know,
[40:45] Speaker 2: being out in the real world and seeing who I meet.
[40:48] Speaker 2: I've got a really out of the box suggestion for you, Kelly.
[40:51] Speaker 2: Now you have not asked for my advice, and that.
[40:54] Speaker 1: Is very interesting.
[40:56] Speaker 6: I'm not doing very well well.
[40:58] Speaker 5: I'm going to give some unsolicited advice, which is what
[41:01] Speaker 5: we do best here. I have already announced to Daniel
[41:06] Speaker 5: that if he does to move on and end our marriage,
[41:10] Speaker 5: I've got a plan, and my plan is not to
[41:13] Speaker 5: go on the apps. I'm actually going to swing. I'm
[41:16] Speaker 5: actually not going to be looking for a man. I'm
[41:19] Speaker 5: going to find myself a girlfriend. And yes, this is
[41:22] Speaker 5: what I've decided to do. Now I'm going to say,
[41:24] Speaker 5: what are we doing this weekend? What is our next holiday?
[41:28] Speaker 5: These are the things the plans that I have. I've
[41:31] Speaker 5: also decided I'm going to change completely. I'm going to
[41:33] Speaker 5: stop dying my hair. And I've got all these fans
[41:35] Speaker 5: and I'm really I'm quite excited for the next years.
[41:39] Speaker 1: And so I've decided no apps, no.
[41:42] Speaker 5: Disastrous dickheads who go out with the lads and rock
[41:46] Speaker 5: on home at six thirty seven in the morning. I
[41:48] Speaker 5: think that's complete bullshit. I think that would be soul destroying.
[41:51] Speaker 5: So I'm with you, Cath. I think, keep going on
[41:53] Speaker 5: your past, smile at everybody. But at my next phase,
[41:57] Speaker 5: I'm not going to be batting for the team I'm
[41:59] Speaker 5: batting for now. I'm going to be completely changing my strategy.
[42:02] Speaker 5: I reckon it's going to go really well.
[42:03] Speaker 4: That's going to be a popular route. In fact, there's
[42:05] Speaker 4: this on social media at the moment. There's this voiceover
[42:10] Speaker 4: that's going around that says, if women don't lower their standards,
[42:14] Speaker 4: they are going to die alone in their beautiful, the
[42:17] Speaker 4: beautifully decorated homes with lots of friends, you know, lots
[42:21] Speaker 4: of support, delicious meals and things that they love. And
[42:25] Speaker 4: I think that that is how terrible, so true. And
[42:27] Speaker 4: I don't if she wants to find a you know,
[42:30] Speaker 4: a heterosexual romance, knock yourself out. But I think that
[42:34] Speaker 4: the time for looking at the different ways of living.
[42:38] Speaker 4: I think, come on the heels of a divorce sometimes
[42:41] Speaker 4: and you know, look at what presents itself to you.
[42:44] Speaker 4: That's what I sort of mean by turning on your light.
[42:46] Speaker 4: There might be an opportunity to make a new friend
[42:48] Speaker 4: and your girlfriend not necessarily sexually, or to try a
[42:51] Speaker 4: new job, or to you know, maybe it is a romance,
[42:54] Speaker 4: but there's so many things that can open themselves up
[42:57] Speaker 4: to us. And it's sort of nice to have a
[43:00] Speaker 4: new turn it at life having left something that wasn't
[43:05] Speaker 4: working behind and it doesn't have to be as narrow
[43:07] Speaker 4: as romance.
[43:09] Speaker 3: Fall in love with yourself first, Kelly, Yeah, and everything
[43:11] Speaker 3: will come true.
[43:12] Speaker 4: Agree, cheers to that.
[43:14] Speaker 6: Yes, Okay, Well that is all we have time for today.
[43:17] Speaker 2: Now, if you have a friend who is also looking
[43:19] Speaker 2: for love, if you have a friend who is a
[43:21] Speaker 2: real follower like myself.
[43:22] Speaker 6: And Sally, share this episode.
[43:26] Speaker 2: Share the episode, go to Spotify, go to Apple follow along,
[43:30] Speaker 2: share the love.
[43:31] Speaker 3: Also, don't forget to follow us on Unleashed Show on
[43:35] Speaker 3: Instagram to get the updates.
[43:37] Speaker 4: About this spring fling.
[43:38] Speaker 6: Ye, come on, let's go.
[43:39] Speaker 1: Yes, let's do this.
[43:41] Speaker 2: Okay, so as we like to say, see you Tuesday.
[43:45] Speaker 2: Until then, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable, and stay unleashed.
[43:50] Speaker 6: Bye. Mamma.
[43:57] Speaker 2: Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that
[44:00] Speaker 2: this podcast is recorded on

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.