# Fibber McGee and Molly - "The War Is Not Almost Over" (Old Time Radio, 1943)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 23 Sep 2026, 31 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75317279/7e9a776aebe6729c_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “The War Is Not Almost Over,” episode 381 of the classic NBC comedy, originally broadcast on December 7, 1943. Starring Jim Jordan as Fibber and Marian Jordan as Molly, this Johnson’s Wax program was written by Don Quinn. Two years after Pearl Harbor, a Wistful Vista domestic mix-up gives Fibber a timely wartime reality check. Also cataloged as “Balancing the Check Book,” the episode pairs the McGees’ household comedy with a reminder of the continued importance of home-front support and War Bonds. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:54 Original Broadcast 30:54 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Don Quinn wrote this December 7, 1943 broadcast with Jim
[0:04] Speaker 1: and Marion Jordan as Fibber and Molly McGee. Two years
[0:09] Speaker 1: after Pearl Harbor, Fibber receives a wartime reality check. The
[0:13] Speaker 1: conflict is far from finished, and the McGees' domestic concerns
[0:17] Speaker 1: turn toward continued support on the home front. From Wistful Vista, NBC,
[0:23] Speaker 1: and Johnson's Wax, bring us episode 381 of Fibber McGee
[0:27] Speaker 1: and Molly, The War Is Not Almost Over. Arthur Q. Bryan,
[0:32] Speaker 1: Ransom Sherman, Shirley Mitchell, and Gail Gordon join the regular
[0:37] Speaker 1: company with Harlow Wilcox announcing The King's Men and Billy
[0:42] Speaker 1: Mills and his orchestra. Here is a wartime visit to
[0:46] Speaker 1: the McGee household on a date that carried special meaning
[0:49] Speaker 1: across the country. And now, the original broadcast.
[0:55] Speaker 2: The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly. The
[1:06] Speaker 2: makers of Johnson's Wax, Johnson's Carnue, and Johnson's Self-Polishing Glow
[1:10] Speaker 2: Coat present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn,
[1:14] Speaker 2: with music by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[1:39] Speaker 2: In our audience tonight, I'm sure there are many business
[1:41] Speaker 2: and industrial executives relaxing a bit from a busy day.
[1:45] Speaker 2: The greatly increased responsibility of these men in war production
[1:48] Speaker 2: is known to.
[1:48] Speaker 3: All of us.
[1:49] Speaker 2: Their jobs are as important as vital as any. Nearly
[1:53] Speaker 2: every large manufacturer is engaged in some part of war work,
[1:56] Speaker 2: directly or indirectly. The last time I went through the
[1:59] Speaker 2: Johnson's Wax Laboratories and plant, I was surprised to learn
[2:03] Speaker 2: in how many places there is a need now, greater
[2:05] Speaker 2: than ever before, for protective wax finishes and coatings. Special
[2:10] Speaker 2: finishes have been developed for protection against water, weather, and
[2:13] Speaker 2: corrosion for planes, ships, automobiles, trucks, trains, for metals, wood, rubber,
[2:19] Speaker 2: and leather. Even special paints containing wax have been perfected.
[2:24] Speaker 2: So in many ways, the protective uses of Johnson's wax
[2:26] Speaker 2: products have been extended into manufacturing and industrial plants throughout
[2:31] Speaker 2: the country. Any manufacturer having a protective finishing problem related
[2:36] Speaker 2: to war production is invited to discuss this problem with S.C.
[2:39] Speaker 2: Johnson & Son, Racine, Wisconsin, or S.C. Johnson & Son Limited, Brantford, Canada.
[3:02] Speaker 2: We'd like to present several interesting figures tonight. One, those
[3:06] Speaker 2: in the stubs of our hero's checkbook. And two, Fibber
[3:10] Speaker 2: McGee and Molly.
[3:11] Speaker 4: I haven't any days, McGee. This checkbook of yours is
[3:20] Speaker 4: simply a mess.
[3:21] Speaker 5: If you're talking about that counter check for 18 cents
[3:23] Speaker 5: that was made out to the public library, I had
[3:25] Speaker 5: to do that. I kept the Rover boys on the
[3:28] Speaker 5: Mississippi six days too long.
[3:32] Speaker 4: Well, there's no counter check listed here for 18 cents.
[3:34] Speaker 5: Oh, come to think of it, I guess I forgot
[3:36] Speaker 5: to enter it. How much I got in my account,
[3:38] Speaker 5: according to the Stubbs?
[3:39] Speaker 4: Well, according to the Stubbs theory, $ 16, 000 and, uh... Uh,
[3:43] Speaker 4: let's see now. Let's see what it says.
[3:46] Speaker 6: $ 16, 482.
[3:46] Speaker 7: 08. Oh, yeah.
[3:46] Speaker 3: Gee.
[3:47] Speaker 5: How much I got according to the bank statement?
[3:51] Speaker 4: Well, you're overdrawn $ 1.
[3:52] Speaker 8: 10.
[3:57] Speaker 5: Most likely, the correct balance is somewhere between those two figures.
[4:01] Speaker 7: Probably.
[4:02] Speaker 8: Yeah.
[4:02] Speaker 4: Being overdrawn won't help your credit any, you know.
[4:04] Speaker 5: Well, no bank has got any right to deprecate a
[4:06] Speaker 5: man's financial standing with a mistake like that there.
[4:09] Speaker 7: I think I'll tell them all. Hand me the phone.
[4:10] Speaker 8: Okay, here.
[4:11] Speaker 7: Thanks.
[4:12] Speaker 5: Hello, operator.
[4:13] Speaker 7: Give me the 14th National Bank at Wistful Mert. Is
[4:15] Speaker 7: that you, Mert?
[4:16] Speaker 8: Navigator to pilot. You're off your course.
[4:20] Speaker 7: Oh, how's every little thing, Mert? What's this, eh? What's this, Mert?
[4:25] Speaker 7: Your brother. In the guardhouse, eh? Well, he shouldn't have
[4:29] Speaker 7: shot it off without orders.
[4:33] Speaker 8: His rifle, dearie?
[4:34] Speaker 7: No, his mouth. What's that merch? Okay, give me two
[4:38] Speaker 7: of them. Hello, 14th National?
[4:41] Speaker 5: Give me McKenzie, the head cashier.
[4:43] Speaker 7: Huh?
[4:44] Speaker 5: What do you mean he's out to lunch? That guy
[4:46] Speaker 5: don't eat lunch. They just toss him some fish food
[4:48] Speaker 5: once a week.
[4:50] Speaker 8: Better be nice to the bank, McGee.
[4:51] Speaker 2: Why should I be nice? Hello?
[4:53] Speaker 7: Who is this? Oh, well, look, underdog.
[4:58] Speaker 5: This is Pippa McGee, and you made a mistake in
[5:00] Speaker 5: my bank balance. Your figures don't check with mine.
[5:03] Speaker 4: A lot of fuss about a mere $ 16, 000.
[5:05] Speaker 7: What say you, underdog?
[5:06] Speaker 5: Yeah, according to your statement, I'm overdrew $ 1.
[5:08] Speaker 2: 10.
[5:08] Speaker 8: Huh?
[5:09] Speaker 7: Oh, I thought so.
[5:12] Speaker 3: Okay.
[5:13] Speaker 7: Says there's a note on his desk about that. They
[5:15] Speaker 7: caught the mistake. Yeah.
[5:16] Speaker 8: These are strange times we're living in, dear. You know,
[5:18] Speaker 8: when a bank admits being wrong.
[5:19] Speaker 7: Well, they got no right to do it.
[5:21] Speaker 2: Hello, underdog?
[5:22] Speaker 7: What's the correct balance?
[5:24] Speaker 5: Huh?
[5:27] Speaker 3: Well, I knew you were way off.
[5:29] Speaker 7: Okay. Thanks, underdunk. Talk about me not being able to add.
[5:34] Speaker 8: Well, what is your balance?
[5:35] Speaker 5: I'm overdrawn ten dollars and one cent.
[5:41] Speaker 7: Fine, you'll have to.
[5:42] Speaker 4: Stop going in there to swipe pinpoints till you make
[5:44] Speaker 4: it up, you know.
[5:45] Speaker 5: I never went in there to swipe a.
[5:46] Speaker 8: Who's that, I wonder?
[5:47] Speaker 5: Let me see.
[5:48] Speaker 3: Uh-oh.
[5:49] Speaker 7: Sig Wellington from the Bijou Theater.
[5:51] Speaker 8: Oh, well, let him in. I think he's very nice.
[5:53] Speaker 5: Yeah, you think he's nice because he bows and kisses
[5:55] Speaker 5: your hand. One of these days, you'll find your ring
[5:57] Speaker 5: finger missing.
[5:58] Speaker 8: Now, listen.
[5:59] Speaker 7: Mr.
[6:00] Speaker 8: Wellington is a very cultivated man.
[6:02] Speaker 5: I wish I'd been running the cultivator when they did it, too.
[6:05] Speaker 7: One of these days, I'm going to get a.
[6:07] Speaker 8: Now, be nice, dearie. Come in. Oh, good day, Mr.
[6:10] Speaker 7: Wellington.
[6:11] Speaker 8: What a pleasant surprise.
[6:12] Speaker 3: Good day, Mrs.
[6:13] Speaker 6: McGee.
[6:13] Speaker 3: I trust the occasion finds you in good health?
[6:16] Speaker 5: He trusts the occasion, finds her in good health.
[6:20] Speaker 7: Rabbit feathers.
[6:23] Speaker 5: He thinks he's a regular Chesterfield, and he sounds like
[6:25] Speaker 5: he rolls his own.
[6:26] Speaker 8: Now, don't criticize me. Remember, you're not any Sir Walter
[6:30] Speaker 8: O'Reilly yourself.
[6:33] Speaker 5: Good manners never got Sir Walter anyplace anyway. The last
[6:36] Speaker 5: time he bowed, they parted his neck.
[6:37] Speaker 7: With an axe.
[6:39] Speaker 3: Withstanding, may I sit down? Then joke. Notwithstanding, I think
[6:44] Speaker 3: my wife, Cynthia, summed it up very well when she
[6:47] Speaker 3: said good manners are the outward symbol of an inward humility.
[6:51] Speaker 7: Tea?
[6:52] Speaker 3: No, thank you. With cream and sugar, please.
[6:53] Speaker 5: What was it you wanted, Wellington? I'm very busy today,
[6:59] Speaker 5: going over a lot of bank statements.
[7:00] Speaker 8: Well, that won't take you long, dear.
[7:02] Speaker 5: You've got less balance than a summer resort card table.
[7:06] Speaker 3: In that case, I feel that my arrival is singularly apro.
[7:10] Speaker 3: Shall we say poe?
[7:16] Speaker 7: What do you say we do?
[7:19] Speaker 2: Why, Mr.
[7:20] Speaker 8: Wellington?
[7:20] Speaker 3: Tell me, has Mr. McGee signed the book in the
[7:23] Speaker 3: lobby of the Bijou Theatre, clean entertainment for the entire family,
[7:26] Speaker 3: bargain rates for servicemen, our ushers do not accept tips
[7:29] Speaker 3: while the lights are on for the weekly prize drawing?
[7:33] Speaker 8: Why, we're both registered.
[7:34] Speaker 5: Now, don't tell me we won a prize, Wellington. That
[7:37] Speaker 5: I couldn't stand. I've been signed up for Kino, Bino, Screno,
[7:41] Speaker 5: and Free China ever since DeMille discovered the bathtub. All
[7:45] Speaker 5: I ever won, you could stick under your eyelid, and
[7:47] Speaker 5: you could still go on repairing watches.
[7:49] Speaker 3: In that case, my dear fellow, it gives me unbounded pleasure.
[7:53] Speaker 3: Except that my pleasure is bounded on four sides by
[7:55] Speaker 3: the wish that someone else had won. to apprise you
[7:58] Speaker 3: that last night your name was drawn for the third
[8:01] Speaker 3: prize of $ 60.
[8:04] Speaker 4: Heavenly day, $ 60. Won't the bank be pleased?
[8:08] Speaker 7: My God, 60 smackers.
[8:12] Speaker 5: You know, Wellington, before you came in, I was telling
[8:14] Speaker 5: Molly what a great guy you were.
[8:15] Speaker 7: Square shooter. Now you take Wellington.
[8:18] Speaker 3: I says.
[8:18] Speaker 7: Who's Wellington, she says.
[8:20] Speaker 8: Oh, dear.
[8:20] Speaker 2: Who's Wellington, I yells.
[8:22] Speaker 7: Why, he's the finest upstanding assistant.
[8:24] Speaker 8: You've got that a little wrong, dearie.
[8:26] Speaker 3: Huh?
[8:26] Speaker 8: You simply told me to take Wellington, period.
[8:29] Speaker 7: Well, I meant it.
[8:31] Speaker 3: Come and come now. Let us conclude this affair amicably,
[8:33] Speaker 3: my friends.
[8:36] Speaker 2: Mr.
[8:36] Speaker 3: McGee, on behalf of the Bijou Theater, Sigmund Lafayette Wellington, manager,
[8:41] Speaker 3: it gives me great pleasure to present you, one of
[8:43] Speaker 3: our patrons of long standing in the lobby, with the sum.
[8:48] Speaker 3: With the sum of $ 60 in cash, which I... which
[8:53] Speaker 3: I seem to have left on my desk at the theater.
[8:56] Speaker 8: Oh, dear.
[8:56] Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
[8:57] Speaker 7: I'll run down there for you, Wellington, and save you a.
[8:59] Speaker 3: Unnecessary, my dear fellow. I shall send it over here
[9:02] Speaker 3: immediately by Miss Crenshaw, my secretary. Harry? I'd like to,
[9:05] Speaker 3: but I can't, my dear. And I assure you, Miss
[9:08] Speaker 3: Crenshaw will be right over.
[9:09] Speaker 7: Pip-pip, Mrs.
[9:10] Speaker 3: McKee, and a pip of a pip to you.
[9:14] Speaker 2: Pop. Billy Mills and the orchestra playing American Patrol.
[9:41] Speaker 7: Thank you.
[9:50] Speaker 9: Thank you.
[10:20] Speaker 7: Thank you. Thank you.
[10:36] Speaker 8: Thank you.
[10:36] Speaker 7: Thank you.
[11:13] Speaker 2: Boy, oh boy, oh boy.
[11:14] Speaker 7: Sixty bucks right out of the blue sky. You know
[11:16] Speaker 7: what I'm going to do with it, Molly? What?
[11:18] Speaker 5: First thing we're going to do when the weather opens
[11:19] Speaker 5: up is load up the car and hit the grit
[11:21] Speaker 5: for Yellowstone Park.
[11:22] Speaker 8: Load up what car?
[11:23] Speaker 7: One of them new.
[11:24] Speaker 5: Post-war jobs I've been reading about in the science magazine.
[11:29] Speaker 7: At the barbershop. Made out of soybeans.
[11:34] Speaker 4: You better take that $ 60 and buy war bonds.
[11:37] Speaker 5: What do you mean, war bonds? The war is practically over.
[11:39] Speaker 5: Don't you read the papers?
[11:40] Speaker 8: Yes, I do.
[11:41] Speaker 4: And from all I can see, the fighting may be
[11:43] Speaker 4: going on for a long, long time.
[11:45] Speaker 7: You're just an alarmist, Molly. I tell you that the war.
[11:48] Speaker 8: Come in, General Eisenhower.
[11:50] Speaker 7: How do you do?
[11:52] Speaker 3: Is Mr.
[11:53] Speaker 5: McGee here? I'm him, sis. And if it's Christmas cards
[11:55] Speaker 5: you're selling, we don't need any.
[11:57] Speaker 7: I make my own.
[11:58] Speaker 8: Oh, you'll need a few, McGee.
[12:00] Speaker 4: Some of the cards we got last year have the
[12:02] Speaker 4: names engraved on them.
[12:03] Speaker 8: You can't erase them. I am not selling Christmas cards, Mrs.
[12:08] Speaker 7: McGee.
[12:09] Speaker 2: I am Miss Crenshaw from Mr.
[12:10] Speaker 8: Wellington's office. He sent you this money.
[12:12] Speaker 2: Oh, sure, sure, sure.
[12:14] Speaker 7: Oh, thanks, sis.
[12:15] Speaker 8: Will you please sign this receipt? You sign, McGee. I'll
[12:17] Speaker 8: count the money.
[12:18] Speaker 7: Okay. Is this your usual form?
[12:22] Speaker 4: No, I'm usually 12 pounds heavier, but since the shortage
[12:25] Speaker 4: of buzz.
[12:30] Speaker 7: I meant the receipt. Oh, well, Sig wouldn't ask me
[12:34] Speaker 7: to sign anything wrong. Here you are, sis.
[12:36] Speaker 4: McGee, there's only $ 50, Sig.
[12:37] Speaker 8: What?
[12:38] Speaker 7: He says the prize was $ 60.
[12:40] Speaker 2: It was $ 60, sir.
[12:41] Speaker 8: But he deducted $ 10 for repairing the screen.
[12:43] Speaker 7: Huh?
[12:44] Speaker 4: He said you got excited one night and tried to
[12:46] Speaker 4: save Hopalong Cassidy's life by throwing your.
[12:48] Speaker 8: Umbrella at a cattle rustler.
[12:51] Speaker 7: Good day.
[12:52] Speaker 5: Why, that's only $ 50.
[12:54] Speaker 4: Well, you can still buy two bonds at $ 18. 75, McGee,
[12:56] Speaker 4: and stamps.
[12:57] Speaker 8: For the rest.
[12:58] Speaker 7: Yeah, what's good that's going to do that, anybody?
[13:00] Speaker 10: 37.50.
[13:03] Speaker 5: Who can do anything with that?
[13:06] Speaker 4: Well, multiplied by 100 million people, that's a lot of support.
[13:10] Speaker 4: Or are you trading in your citizenship for a soybean convertible?
[13:14] Speaker 5: Now, listen here, Molly.
[13:15] Speaker 7: I'm as good a citizen as anybody.
[13:17] Speaker 2: Just because I plan.
[13:18] Speaker 7: For the future is no.
[13:18] Speaker 11: Come in. Oh, Dr.
[13:21] Speaker 7: Gamble. Hello, Doctor. Hello, Mrs.
[13:22] Speaker 6: McGee.
[13:24] Speaker 7: Hello, short, stout, and nervous.
[13:27] Speaker 5: Look who's calling somebody stout. You've ruined more scales than
[13:31] Speaker 5: a locker room tenor, Doc.
[13:34] Speaker 7: Hey, look, Doc. Fifty bucks. Very pretty, McGee. Your life savings,
[13:38] Speaker 7: I presume.
[13:41] Speaker 8: He won it in a drawing at the Bijou Theater, Doctor.
[13:44] Speaker 4: I want him to buy war bonds, but he's going
[13:46] Speaker 4: to use it for a down payment on a post-war
[13:48] Speaker 4: car made out.
[13:48] Speaker 8: Of lima beans.
[13:51] Speaker 7: Soy beans.
[13:52] Speaker 8: Yes.
[13:52] Speaker 4: According to McGee, everybody will be raising their own trucks
[13:55] Speaker 4: in their own truck gardens. You just toss in a
[13:58] Speaker 4: bean and boom, up comes a Buick.
[14:02] Speaker 7: Okay, okay, okay. Scoff, if you want to.
[14:05] Speaker 5: Be right.
[14:05] Speaker 7: But now that the war is about over... Now that
[14:07] Speaker 7: the war is what?
[14:08] Speaker 8: About over, he says.
[14:09] Speaker 7: Certainly.
[14:10] Speaker 5: One of these days, Germany will fall apart like a
[14:12] Speaker 5: wet donut.
[14:12] Speaker 7: McGee, you talk like a ninny. Who talks like a nanny?
[14:16] Speaker 7: I resent that.
[14:17] Speaker 8: No, he said ninny, McGee.
[14:19] Speaker 9: Oh.
[14:25] Speaker 7: That's different. Go ahead, Doc.
[14:28] Speaker 5: I knew that information pleas had never pleaded for your services.
[14:32] Speaker 5: But I didn't think you were stupid enough to think
[14:34] Speaker 5: the war was anywhere near over. What's the matter with you, Doc?
[14:37] Speaker 7: Don't you read the papers?
[14:38] Speaker 5: Can't you see Germany's about ready to fold up? And
[14:41] Speaker 5: after Germany, we can bomb the bajunior out of Tokyo.
[14:44] Speaker 4: He's really a military expert, Doctor. He was wounded in
[14:47] Speaker 4: France in the last war, you know.
[14:49] Speaker 8: Cut himself peeling parades.
[14:50] Speaker 5: Right.
[14:58] Speaker 7: Which side were you fighting on, McGee?
[15:00] Speaker 2: What do you mean, which side? American, of course.
[15:02] Speaker 7: Then why don't you stay on our side?
[15:04] Speaker 5: If a few million people of your type read a
[15:06] Speaker 5: happy headline and start sitting back in their unrationed britches,
[15:10] Speaker 5: posterity will be doing goose steps for the next thousand years.
[15:14] Speaker 5: You ought to make a campaign ribbon out of a
[15:15] Speaker 5: shoestring for people like you with a button that says
[15:18] Speaker 5: he wanted to fight.
[15:19] Speaker 8: The war on this. Fathead.
[15:31] Speaker 5: I'm afraid Doc's working too hard. He gets excited about things.
[15:38] Speaker 5: I'm going to ask him to go to Yellowstone with
[15:39] Speaker 5: us next summer.
[15:40] Speaker 7: Do him good to get away.
[15:41] Speaker 4: You better get that new car first. You know, the
[15:43] Speaker 4: one made out of jelly beans?
[15:45] Speaker 2: It's soybeans.
[15:46] Speaker 8: Oh, yeah, soybeans.
[15:48] Speaker 5: Boy, they're sure doing wonderful things with that stuff. One
[15:50] Speaker 5: of these days, we'll just sit here in a chair
[15:52] Speaker 5: and press the soybean button in the wall, and the
[15:54] Speaker 5: roof will fold back, and we'll hop into our soybean coulee-hopter.
[15:57] Speaker 8: No, no. You don't mean coulee-hopter. You mean holly-coopter.
[16:05] Speaker 5: That don't sound right either. It's... It's Carly Heater.
[16:08] Speaker 8: No, no.
[16:09] Speaker 7: Really hot.
[16:10] Speaker 5: Well, anyway, they'll all be made out of soybeans. Remember
[16:13] Speaker 5: way back when Farmer Rust back in Chicago used to.
[16:15] Speaker 8: Hello, folks.
[16:15] Speaker 10: Hello, Mr.
[16:16] Speaker 8: Wilcox.
[16:16] Speaker 7: Hi, Junior.
[16:17] Speaker 5: What you looking so happy about?
[16:18] Speaker 2: I found it for you.
[16:19] Speaker 8: Found what, Mr.
[16:19] Speaker 7: Wilcox?
[16:20] Speaker 2: That little dog with the blue eyes.
[16:22] Speaker 8: Oh, where'd you find it, Mr. Wilcox?
[16:24] Speaker 7: Well, look.
[16:25] Speaker 2: I went to a nightclub last night, and when I
[16:27] Speaker 2: came out, I was feeling no pain, see? And there
[16:32] Speaker 2: was this little dog with the blue eyes following me home. Well,
[16:35] Speaker 2: I just laughed and thought nothing of it.
[16:37] Speaker 7: Yeah?
[16:38] Speaker 2: So this morning, when I went out of the house,
[16:40] Speaker 2: there it was on the porch. I went back in
[16:43] Speaker 2: and took some aspirin. When I came out again, it
[16:45] Speaker 2: was still there. Gee, I wish you'd take it, pal.
[16:48] Speaker 7: Oh, no, no, thanks, Junior. Not now.
[16:50] Speaker 5: You sure you feel all right now?
[16:54] Speaker 2: It's a real dog, I tell you.
[16:55] Speaker 8: Yes, yes, of course it is. Don't you worry about it, Mr.
[16:58] Speaker 7: Wilcox. You need to get away from things for a while, Junior.
[17:01] Speaker 5: How about going with us to Yellowstone Park this summer?
[17:03] Speaker 5: We can take turns driving.
[17:05] Speaker 2: Driving what? You haven't got a car and I haven't
[17:07] Speaker 2: enough gas.
[17:08] Speaker 4: Well, he's getting a post-war automobile, Mr. Wilcox, made out
[17:11] Speaker 4: of jumping beams.
[17:15] Speaker 7: Soy beans.
[17:16] Speaker 8: Say, what'll they make motorboats out of? Navy beans?
[17:22] Speaker 2: Well, I don't know what either of you are talking about,
[17:25] Speaker 2: but there won't be any new cars or any travel
[17:27] Speaker 2: next summer for me or you either. You know what
[17:29] Speaker 2: I'm telling my customers?
[17:31] Speaker 4: We know what you've been telling them for ten years, Mr.
[17:33] Speaker 8: Wilcox. Is there any difference?
[17:35] Speaker 2: Well, yes, a slight one. I'm telling them this war
[17:37] Speaker 2: may be on for a long time yet, so as
[17:39] Speaker 2: long as they can't travel, they might as well protect
[17:41] Speaker 2: their luggage by giving it a Johnson Wax treatment before
[17:44] Speaker 2: they stow it away.
[17:45] Speaker 8: McGee says that by next summer.
[17:46] Speaker 2: And I also tell them that with household help so
[17:48] Speaker 2: hard to get, they can save themselves hours of housework
[17:51] Speaker 2: and time and trouble by waxing their lampshades and windowsills
[17:55] Speaker 2: and floors and woodwork with Johnson's Wax. You sure you
[17:59] Speaker 2: don't want that blue-eyed dog?
[18:03] Speaker 5: No, we don't, Junior. And furthermore, I don't think there
[18:05] Speaker 5: is any such thing as a blue-eyed dog.
[18:07] Speaker 8: Neither do I.
[18:09] Speaker 2: Well, okay.
[18:10] Speaker 7: So long.
[18:13] Speaker 2: Come on, blue eyes.
[18:25] Speaker 5: Junior must have been showing Ramsey the town last night. And, hey,
[18:29] Speaker 5: mark him down to go with us to Yellowstone next summer.
[18:31] Speaker 5: He'll go when he sees things house when things won't
[18:33] Speaker 5: shape up.
[18:33] Speaker 7: Yeah.
[18:34] Speaker 8: Now, that's us and Dr.
[18:36] Speaker 4: Gamble and Mr.
[18:37] Speaker 8: Wilcox.
[18:37] Speaker 4: If you invite many more people, you better get a trailer, too,
[18:40] Speaker 4: made out of string beans.
[18:42] Speaker 7: It's soybeans, I tell you. String beans are no good for... Hello, Mrs. McGee.
[18:46] Speaker 10: Hello, Mr.
[18:46] Speaker 7: McGee. Hello, Alice, dear. Hi, Alice.
[18:49] Speaker 8: Did we wake you up, Alice?
[18:50] Speaker 7: Oh, no, my dear.
[18:51] Speaker 10: I just woke up with a start because I just
[18:53] Speaker 10: thought what to get you for Christmas, so I ran
[18:55] Speaker 10: downstairs to tell you, but it wouldn't be fair to
[18:57] Speaker 10: tell you, so I guess I'll go back to bed.
[19:01] Speaker 8: Now, Alice, you mustn't give us anything.
[19:03] Speaker 5: Now, Molly the Kid ought to know her own mind.
[19:06] Speaker 7: Shouldn't she?
[19:06] Speaker 5: Gee whiz, nice thoughts like that should ought to be encouraged.
[19:11] Speaker 7: What you getting this, Alice?
[19:12] Speaker 10: Well, I might as well tell you. I'm getting you
[19:15] Speaker 10: what I'm giving everybody else this year, a war bond.
[19:18] Speaker 8: Were there any phone calls for me?
[19:19] Speaker 4: Yes, Oswald called, and let me see. So did Arthur
[19:23] Speaker 4: and Kenneth, and who.
[19:24] Speaker 8: Else did he?
[19:25] Speaker 7: A fellow named Nittany.
[19:26] Speaker 5: I was wondering if he was any relation of a
[19:28] Speaker 5: guy I was in vaudeville with named Fred Nittany from
[19:30] Speaker 5: Starved Rock, Illinois.
[19:32] Speaker 10: Oh, I don't think so, Mr.
[19:33] Speaker 7: McGee.
[19:34] Speaker 10: This is Abercrombie Nittany, and he's strictly from Hunger, Oklahoma.
[19:37] Speaker 7: Odd name, though, Nittany. You don't hear it very often.
[19:43] Speaker 8: About once a week.
[19:44] Speaker 4: On an average.
[19:45] Speaker 5: Well, listen.
[19:50] Speaker 10: man is a man that he's the athletic director at
[19:52] Speaker 10: the airplane plant, and he's always wanting me to join
[19:55] Speaker 10: the girls' wrestling team. They say I'm the pinned-down girl
[19:58] Speaker 10: of the year.
[19:59] Speaker 7: You steer clear of those athletic guys, Alice.
[20:04] Speaker 5: Those muscle-bound Romeos think they're showing you a wonderful evening
[20:07] Speaker 5: if they can lift the dining room table with their teeth.
[20:09] Speaker 10: Well, I always say that a young girl can't be
[20:12] Speaker 10: too careful about what fella she goes out with. And
[20:14] Speaker 10: I guess I never told you, but I was terribly
[20:17] Speaker 10: disappointed in loved ones about three years ago.
[20:19] Speaker 7: Oh, you were?
[20:20] Speaker 8: Yes.
[20:21] Speaker 7: He shot himself. He shot himself?
[20:23] Speaker 6: Yes.
[20:24] Speaker 10: With a little brownie camera. Oh. And when he sent
[20:29] Speaker 10: me a print, I was terribly disappointed. He was lying
[20:31] Speaker 10: down with a tree on top of him, and I
[20:33] Speaker 10: don't like a fellow which he's always clowning around.
[20:36] Speaker 4: Lying down with a tree on top of him?
[20:38] Speaker 5: Maybe he was leaning against a tree and you were
[20:40] Speaker 5: holding the picture sideways.
[20:41] Speaker 10: Well, for goodness sake, maybe I was. Maybe I won't
[20:47] Speaker 10: have to send his ring back after all.
[20:49] Speaker 7: Well, goodbye now.
[20:57] Speaker 2: The King's Men singing an American medley.
[20:59] Speaker 11: Off we go into the wild blue yonder, climbing high.
[21:04] Speaker 3: Into the sun.
[21:07] Speaker 11: Here they come, coming to meet our thunder.
[21:10] Speaker 8: Atta boys, give her the gun.
[21:14] Speaker 7: What do you do in the infantry?
[21:15] Speaker 2: You march, you march, you march. What do you do
[21:18] Speaker 2: when your pack has got your back as stiff as starch?
[21:21] Speaker 7: The rest of the army is.
[21:22] Speaker 2: Riding, riding through a triumphal arch.
[21:24] Speaker 8: But what do you do in the infantry, brother?
[21:27] Speaker 7: You keep on doing the same as you do when
[21:28] Speaker 7: you march. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4.
[21:31] Speaker 11: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Praise the Lord,
[21:38] Speaker 11: we're not a coalition.
[21:40] Speaker 2: Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition, and we'll fight
[21:44] Speaker 2: the fray till the victory day.
[21:47] Speaker 3: And then when the.
[21:49] Speaker 11: Battle's won, drink to the home. To every Navy son,
[21:58] Speaker 11: here's wishing you a happy voyage home.
[22:08] Speaker 9: We're sailors of the air We're sailing everywhere On wings
[22:14] Speaker 9: of steel We'll never yield.
[22:16] Speaker 11: The blue Sky anchors away.
[22:18] Speaker 2: Sky.
[22:29] Speaker 5: From the halls.
[22:31] Speaker 6: Of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we fight our
[22:38] Speaker 6: country's battles on the land and.
[22:42] Speaker 9: On the sea.
[22:43] Speaker 2: First to fight for rights and.
[22:46] Speaker 11: Freedom and to keep our honor clean, we are proud
[22:52] Speaker 11: to claim the.
[22:54] Speaker 2: Title of U.S.
[22:57] Speaker 9: The United States Marines.
[23:19] Speaker 5: I wish you'd take this soybean stuff serious, Molly. I'm
[23:21] Speaker 5: telling you, it's the coming thing. In the post-war world.
[23:24] Speaker 7: Oh, for.
[23:25] Speaker 8: Goodness sakes, come in.
[23:27] Speaker 7: Well, I'll be.
[23:28] Speaker 8: Heavenly days, Mayor Latrivia.
[23:30] Speaker 2: Hello, Mrs.
[23:31] Speaker 6: McGee.
[23:31] Speaker 2: Hello, McGee. Well, where do you think you're going?
[23:36] Speaker 11: Oh, my, my.
[23:38] Speaker 8: It's awfully nice to see you again, Mr. Latrivia.
[23:40] Speaker 7: Oh, thanks.
[23:41] Speaker 2: It's nice to see you again.
[23:42] Speaker 5: You really look salty in that Coast Guard uniform, kid.
[23:46] Speaker 5: Look like a combination of Flash Gordon, Superman, and Brian Donlevy.
[23:51] Speaker 8: And healthy, too.
[23:53] Speaker 4: Say, why don't you join the Coast Guard, McGee? Don't
[23:55] Speaker 4: you get tired of holding your chest in your lap?
[24:00] Speaker 2: I'm afraid he's a little overage, Mrs.
[24:02] Speaker 8: McGee.
[24:03] Speaker 2: It's pretty strenuous.
[24:04] Speaker 7: Oh, don't worry about that, Latrivia. I can take it.
[24:06] Speaker 5: I got as much wind now as I had when
[24:08] Speaker 5: I was 20.
[24:08] Speaker 2: More!
[24:14] Speaker 7: Going to be in town long?
[24:15] Speaker 2: No, no, McGee. In fact, I hope to be shipped
[24:18] Speaker 2: out any day now. This is more or less of
[24:20] Speaker 2: a farewell visit. Probably won't see you again for the duration.
[24:23] Speaker 8: Oh, dear, I'm sorry.
[24:24] Speaker 2: What do you mean, shipped out?
[24:25] Speaker 5: Who's going to guard the coast if the Coast Guard
[24:26] Speaker 5: goes away instead?
[24:28] Speaker 2: Well, we don't all go away, McGee. Don't forget, in wartime,
[24:31] Speaker 2: the Coast Guard is in the first line of duty.
[24:34] Speaker 2: We take the Marines and the Army where they're needed
[24:35] Speaker 2: and put them ashore. What have you been doing, McGee?
[24:38] Speaker 5: Oh, I've been working on some post-war plans, Latrivia. On
[24:42] Speaker 5: account of this thing, it's going to be over any
[24:43] Speaker 5: day now.
[24:44] Speaker 2: Oh, don't talk nonsense, McGee. Nobody knows how long it's
[24:47] Speaker 2: going to last.
[24:48] Speaker 4: That's what everybody's been telling you, Mr.
[24:49] Speaker 6: Latrivia.
[24:50] Speaker 5: Now, don't you go giving me that expert business, Latrivia.
[24:53] Speaker 5: Just because you spent a few hours hanging over the
[24:55] Speaker 5: rail of a PT boat.
[24:59] Speaker 8: Say, uh, what is a P.T.
[25:00] Speaker 5: Boat? That's a boat that was donated by the parent-teachers association.
[25:12] Speaker 7: Ain't it a little trivia?
[25:12] Speaker 6: No.
[25:13] Speaker 2: Oh.
[25:14] Speaker 6: P.T.
[25:14] Speaker 2: Stands for patrol torpedo. Light draft and very speedy. Those
[25:18] Speaker 2: are the boats they say can do 60 knots an
[25:19] Speaker 2: hour on wet grass. Don't even need water.
[25:22] Speaker 7: Just a little humidity.
[25:23] Speaker 2: Hmm.
[25:24] Speaker 8: Well, how many, uh, did the parents and teachers donate?
[25:27] Speaker 7: Oh, I don't know. I suppose.
[25:28] Speaker 2: They didn't donate any. At least I don't think they did.
[25:31] Speaker 8: You ever inquire?
[25:33] Speaker 2: Well, no, no. I don't go around making silly inquiries
[25:36] Speaker 2: like that.
[25:37] Speaker 5: What's so silly about the parent-teachers donating votes to the Navy, Latrivia?
[25:40] Speaker 7: Haven't you got any appreciation?
[25:41] Speaker 2: Of course I have. Or I would have if I
[25:44] Speaker 2: was sure the Parent-Teachers Association had donated any. Oh, this
[25:47] Speaker 2: is ridiculous. Well, I don't know why, Mr.
[25:51] Speaker 8: Latrivia. I think it's a mighty fine thing to do myself.
[25:54] Speaker 5: I can't understand your attitude, Latrivia. Surely you must have
[25:59] Speaker 5: had parents.
[26:00] Speaker 7: And teachers.
[26:01] Speaker 2: Of course I did. I merely stated that P.T. doesn't
[26:04] Speaker 2: stand for parent-teacher.
[26:05] Speaker 7: The heck it don't.
[26:06] Speaker 5: My sister belongs to them. And I'll bet they'd be
[26:09] Speaker 5: pretty burned up if they knew how you Coast Guard
[26:11] Speaker 5: guys felt about their generosity, Latribia. Wait till I tell
[26:14] Speaker 5: my sister.
[26:14] Speaker 2: I didn't say anything about their generosity. I only said
[26:17] Speaker 2: that a patrol teacher, I mean a parent torpedo... You
[26:20] Speaker 2: said that P.T. stood for one thing and I said
[26:22] Speaker 2: it stood for another. Why should a vessel donate a teacher?
[26:25] Speaker 4: A parent.
[26:26] Speaker 2: Why do I let you get me into these things?
[26:28] Speaker 4: Why do you let us get you in? We didn't
[26:30] Speaker 4: get you in.
[26:30] Speaker 7: You enlisted and you know it.
[26:35] Speaker 2: I wasn't talking about my enlistment.
[26:38] Speaker 8: Well, why not? It's nothing to be ashamed of.
[26:40] Speaker 9: I'm not ashamed of it!
[26:42] Speaker 2: I'm proud of it!
[26:43] Speaker 11: I love it!
[26:44] Speaker 2: I merely came in here to say goodbye and you...
[26:54] Speaker 2: You dropped something, McGee.
[26:55] Speaker 3: Huh?
[26:56] Speaker 7: Oh, oh, thanks.
[26:57] Speaker 5: Just a flock of dough I won at the Bijou Theater, Richard, yeah.
[27:00] Speaker 8: Fifty dollars.
[27:01] Speaker 2: Well, well, well. There must be a power that watches
[27:05] Speaker 2: over me. Hand it here, McGee.
[27:07] Speaker 7: Hand what where?
[27:08] Speaker 3: The fifty.
[27:08] Speaker 9: I'll take it.
[27:09] Speaker 8: You'll take it.
[27:10] Speaker 7: What's the idea, Latribia?
[27:11] Speaker 2: Come, come, McGee. Don't pretend you don't remember.
[27:13] Speaker 8: Remember what, Mr.
[27:14] Speaker 6: Latribia?
[27:15] Speaker 2: Our wager, Mrs.
[27:16] Speaker 3: McGee.
[27:16] Speaker 2: This is December 7th. Two years ago today, your husband
[27:20] Speaker 2: bet me fifty dollars the war would be over in
[27:22] Speaker 2: two years.
[27:24] Speaker 5: Oh, my gosh.
[27:25] Speaker 8: I remember that, McGee.
[27:26] Speaker 7: I remember.
[27:27] Speaker 8: Pay off, dearie.
[27:28] Speaker 7: Ah, thank you. Well, gee whiz.
[27:32] Speaker 5: My gosh.
[27:35] Speaker 7: Dragging that matter up after all this time.
[27:38] Speaker 4: Well, if you're going to see Mr.
[27:42] Speaker 8: Latrivia, what do you need money for?
[27:44] Speaker 2: A very good question, Mrs. McGee. I don't need it. Look,
[27:47] Speaker 2: will you do something for me?
[27:48] Speaker 8: What's that?
[27:49] Speaker 2: Take this money and buy war bonds in my name.
[27:51] Speaker 2: When I come back after the war, I can use it. Besides,
[27:53] Speaker 2: I can't think of a better Christmas present for Uncle Sam. Oh,
[27:56] Speaker 2: by the way, McGee, try one of these, will you?
[27:58] Speaker 8: What is it?
[27:59] Speaker 2: It's a sample concentrated sea biscuit a friend of mine
[28:01] Speaker 2: is experimenting with. If it's a success, he'll give the
[28:04] Speaker 2: formula to the government. Try it, McGee.
[28:06] Speaker 7: Okay.
[28:11] Speaker 2: You don't like it?
[28:12] Speaker 7: Oh, that's awful.
[28:13] Speaker 8: What's it made of, Mr.
[28:14] Speaker 7: Latrivia?
[28:15] Speaker 2: Soybeans. Awesome. Spending as much time as I do in kitchens,
[28:30] Speaker 2: I certainly take my hat off to linoleum manufacturers. They've
[28:33] Speaker 2: really made a big contribution toward keeping our homes cheerful
[28:36] Speaker 2: and bright. Naturally, they are interested in having your linoleum
[28:40] Speaker 2: give the best service possible. Now, if you ask the
[28:43] Speaker 2: company that made your linoleum how to take care of it,
[28:45] Speaker 2: you know what they'd say, don't you? First, don't scrub it.
[28:48] Speaker 2: Continuous scrubbing wears linoleum out prematurely, breaks it down. Linoleum
[28:53] Speaker 2: makers recommend that you protect your linoleum, printed, inlaid, or plain,
[28:57] Speaker 2: with a floor polish like Johnson's self-polishing glow coat. Then
[29:01] Speaker 2: it will wear six to ten times longer. The tough
[29:04] Speaker 2: film of glow coat takes all the wear. The surface
[29:06] Speaker 2: underneath is safe. The beauty of the linoleum is preserved
[29:10] Speaker 2: and colors sparkle. And all of this is yours with
[29:12] Speaker 2: practically no work because Johnson's Glow Coat is so easy
[29:16] Speaker 2: to use. There's no rubbing or buffing. You simply apply
[29:19] Speaker 2: and let dry. Remember the name, Johnson's Self-Polishing Glow Coat.
[29:35] Speaker 5: Ladies and gentlemen. This is December 7th. It isn't a
[29:40] Speaker 5: day we're going to celebrate, but it's a day we're
[29:42] Speaker 5: going to remember. Our battleships at Pearl Harbor have stopped burning,
[29:48] Speaker 5: but we haven't. So let's buy war bonds and more
[29:51] Speaker 5: war bonds this week and every week until Uncle Sam
[29:56] Speaker 5: says that's enough. And until he says it, it won't be.
[30:01] Speaker 4: We've got a responsibility this Christmas, too. A responsibility to
[30:05] Speaker 4: all our brothers and sons and fathers in service. It's
[30:08] Speaker 4: our responsibility to give this Christmas a purpose. And that
[30:11] Speaker 4: purpose is victory and security. So give bonds this year.
[30:15] Speaker 4: The present with the future.
[30:17] Speaker 7: Good night.
[30:18] Speaker 8: Good night, all.
[30:18] Speaker 7: Good night.
[30:24] Speaker 2: The appearance of Navy personnel on this program does not.
[30:27] Speaker 3: Constitute an endorsement of our product. The character of Mr.
[30:30] Speaker 2: Wellington on this program was played by Ransom Sherman.
[30:33] Speaker 7: This is Harlow Wilcox speaking for.
[30:34] Speaker 2: The makers of Johnson Wax, finishing for Home and Industry,
[30:37] Speaker 2: inviting you all to be with us again next Tuesday night.
[30:40] Speaker 3: Good night.
[30:41] Speaker 2: This program has come to you from Hollywood. This is
[30:43] Speaker 2: the National Broadcasting Company. This is Chicago WMAQ.
[30:53] Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us for Fibber McGee and Molly.
[30:56] Speaker 1: The war is not almost over. Follow Fibber McGee and
[30:59] Speaker 1: Molly for more classic broadcasts.

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