# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Welcoming Latrivia Home from War" (Old Time Radio, 1945)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 2 Sep 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/74814714/b388fc178d01ebfc_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Welcoming Latrivia Home from War,” episode 447 of the classic radio comedy, originally broadcast on October 2, 1945. This 1945–46 season opener stars Jim and Marian Jordan, with Gale Gordon returning as Mayor La Trivia. Wistful Vista gathers at the railroad station to welcome Mayor La Trivia home from wartime service in the Pacific. As the town plans its official reception, Fibber tries to claim a suitably prominent place in the festivities. The episode was heard on NBC with music by Billy Mills and His Orchestra. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:45 Original Broadcast 29:39 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Wistful Vista is gathering at the railroad station to welcome
[0:03] Speaker 1: Mayor Latrivia home from wartime service in the Pacific. It
[0:07] Speaker 1: is October 2nd, 1945, the opening program of Fibber McGee
[0:12] Speaker 1: and Molly's 1945-46 season, episode 447, Welcoming Latrivia Home from War.
[0:20] Speaker 1: Jim and Marion Jordan are Fibber and Molly, with Gail
[0:23] Speaker 1: Gordon returning as Mayor Latrivia after his own military service.
[0:28] Speaker 1: As the town prepares its official reception, Fibber is determined
[0:32] Speaker 1: to claim a conspicuous place in the proceedings. Don Quinn
[0:35] Speaker 1: and Phil Leslie wrote the broadcast for NBC with Billy
[0:39] Speaker 1: Mills and his orchestra and the King's men. And now,
[0:43] Speaker 1: our story begins.
[0:45] Speaker 2: The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly.
[0:50] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[0:57] Speaker 2: The makers of Johnson's Wax products for home and industry
[0:59] Speaker 2: present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and
[1:02] Speaker 2: Phil Leslie, with music by the Kingsmen and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[1:05] Speaker 4: © BF-WATCH TV 2021.
[1:25] Speaker 2: From coast to coast, there's one job that's getting the
[1:28] Speaker 2: play right now, and I mean that easy job of
[1:30] Speaker 2: cleaning and polishing a car with Johnson's Car New. If
[1:33] Speaker 2: you haven't bought yourself a package of Car New, why
[1:36] Speaker 2: not do it this week and be one of those
[1:37] Speaker 2: car owners who is proud to drive down Main Street
[1:40] Speaker 2: or Michigan Boulevard or Fifth Avenue? The truth is, it's
[1:44] Speaker 2: so easy to clean and polish your car with Carnu
[1:46] Speaker 2: that you won't find doing it yourself. Carnu does two
[1:49] Speaker 2: jobs at once, you know, both cleans and polishes with
[1:51] Speaker 2: one application. This wax-fortified polish is a liquid which dries
[1:55] Speaker 2: on application to a white powder. When you wipe off
[1:57] Speaker 2: this powder, all the dirt and road grime and dullness
[2:00] Speaker 2: vanish like magic. Car New gives a super-waxed, smooth finish
[2:04] Speaker 2: that doesn't offer much of a foothold to dust and dirt,
[2:07] Speaker 2: which you can wipe off occasionally with surprising ease. Try
[2:11] Speaker 2: Johnson's Car New on your car this week.
[2:12] Speaker 5: © BF-WATCH TV 2021.
[2:45] Speaker 2: With a spectacular lack of regret, a large portion of
[2:48] Speaker 2: our male population is getting back into civilian clothes. But
[2:52] Speaker 2: to always want to be different, the Squire of 79
[2:55] Speaker 2: Wistful Vista is busy getting into uniform. Just why he's
[2:59] Speaker 2: making like a soldier, vintage 1918, remains to be seen
[3:03] Speaker 2: as we join Fever McGee and Mollie.
[3:11] Speaker 5: Look, Judy, must you wear that old army uniform today?
[3:15] Speaker 5: Can't you go in civilian clothes?
[3:16] Speaker 2: Oh, sure.
[3:16] Speaker 6: This is a military occasion, and by George, hey, hand
[3:19] Speaker 6: me my blouse, will you?
[3:20] Speaker 5: Wait till I take these last two mothballs out of it. Well,
[3:24] Speaker 5: heavenly days, look at that.
[3:25] Speaker 2: Huh?
[3:25] Speaker 5: Square mothballs.
[3:26] Speaker 6: Hmm.
[3:27] Speaker 5: With little black spots on them.
[3:29] Speaker 3: Oh.
[3:32] Speaker 6: Oh, my gosh. So that's where the... How many spots
[3:34] Speaker 6: on top?
[3:35] Speaker 5: Well, there's four spots on one and three on the other.
[3:37] Speaker 6: Well, how do you like that, a natural? After all
[3:40] Speaker 6: these years. I'm not a dime riding on it. Oh, hey,
[3:46] Speaker 6: this thing is shrunk, hasn't it?
[3:47] Speaker 5: No, I don't think so. You're just bigger in the chest.
[3:50] Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess I have to say.
[3:51] Speaker 5: And don't forget your chest is in a different place now, too.
[3:54] Speaker 6: Well, gee whiz, you can't blame me. Hello, Mrs.
[3:56] Speaker 2: McGee, Mr.
[3:56] Speaker 5: McGee, how you doing?
[4:01] Speaker 8: Oh, Mr.
[4:02] Speaker 2: McGee, you're always clowning. What a costume.
[4:07] Speaker 5: Now, take it easy, Alice. That's his old army uniform. Oh, gee,
[4:11] Speaker 5: I thought maybe he was in a play or something.
[4:14] Speaker 6: My dear child. Don't you realize that one of our
[4:19] Speaker 6: greatest problems today is how to treat a returning service man?
[4:22] Speaker 6: Don't you realize that you can't pick up a magazine
[4:24] Speaker 6: today without reading an article about don't do this, don't
[4:26] Speaker 6: do that, do this, do that, don't talk to him
[4:29] Speaker 6: about the war, do talk to him about the war,
[4:30] Speaker 6: until a civilian is so darn nervous he can't talk
[4:32] Speaker 6: to anybody about anything.
[4:34] Speaker 5: And it's a lot of valley shuttle, if you ask me.
[4:36] Speaker 5: Treat them like they were people, I always say. But
[4:39] Speaker 5: I don't understand, Mr. McGee.
[4:41] Speaker 3: You haven't been a returned serviceman for 25 years.
[4:44] Speaker 5: Haven't you got over it yet?
[4:46] Speaker 7: An interesting question.
[4:48] Speaker 5: Yes, ma'am.
[4:51] Speaker 6: Look, Alice.
[4:51] Speaker 9: Hmm?
[4:52] Speaker 6: You remember Mayor Lativia?
[4:54] Speaker 1: Oh, sure.
[4:54] Speaker 5: He was that big handsome man that went into the
[4:56] Speaker 5: coast guard. Well, he's coming home today, Alice. He's been
[4:59] Speaker 5: in the Pacific for three years.
[5:01] Speaker 9: Creepers.
[5:02] Speaker 5: And they finally picked him up?
[5:07] Speaker 6: He hasn't been in the Pacific all that time, Alice.
[5:10] Speaker 6: He's been on the Pacific. New Guinea, Harlem days, Lynn
[5:13] Speaker 6: Guy and the Dolphin.
[5:14] Speaker 7: All that stuff.
[5:17] Speaker 5: He's now a chief pretty officer.
[5:19] Speaker 6: Petty officer.
[5:20] Speaker 5: Well, I think he's pretty.
[5:22] Speaker 6: I'm telling you, chief petty officer.
[5:25] Speaker 2: What was that?
[5:28] Speaker 5: Oh, just a button off his blouse, Alice. You better
[5:33] Speaker 5: stand off to one side of him. He's loaded. I
[5:40] Speaker 5: think that uniform is very interesting. But why has he
[5:42] Speaker 5: got his legs all bandaged up? They're a close name.
[5:49] Speaker 6: Those are puppies, Alice. The wraparound leggings.
[5:51] Speaker 9: Oh.
[5:52] Speaker 6: My gosh, didn't you ever see a uniform from the
[5:54] Speaker 6: First World War? The big war?
[5:56] Speaker 9: Oh!
[5:59] Speaker 6: One Ritty Eckenbacher and I were in.
[6:01] Speaker 5: You said you were Eckenbacher and before she was born, dear. Oh,
[6:05] Speaker 5: do you have to go, Alice? Yes, I've got to
[6:07] Speaker 5: go to the airplane plant and get my tools. They're
[6:09] Speaker 5: reconverting and.
[6:10] Speaker 2: I'm laid off.
[6:10] Speaker 5: And about time, too.
[6:12] Speaker 6: I helped make so many airplanes there, I got so
[6:14] Speaker 6: I wanted one myself. What are they going to make now, Alice?
[6:17] Speaker 5: Baby carriages. Well.
[6:19] Speaker 6: See.
[6:22] Speaker 4: You later, Mrs.
[6:23] Speaker 9: McGee.
[6:23] Speaker 5: Goodbye, Mrs.
[6:24] Speaker 9: McGee.
[6:24] Speaker 5: I think your uniform is simply.
[6:28] Speaker 2: Oh, brother.
[6:37] Speaker 6: What was she snickering about? Does this uniform look that funny?
[6:39] Speaker 5: Why, of course not, dearie. Of course not.
[6:41] Speaker 7: It looks lovely.
[6:42] Speaker 6: I think so, too.
[6:43] Speaker 5: With those white tennis shoes and the polka dot bow tie,
[6:46] Speaker 5: you're the snappiest looking soldier.
[6:49] Speaker 6: You answer the phone, Molly. I'm still kind of dizzy
[6:51] Speaker 6: from wrapping these leggings.
[6:52] Speaker 5: All right. Where is the phone? Oh, here it is.
[6:55] Speaker 5: Right where we left it, June 26th. 79 Whistle Vista,
[6:59] Speaker 5: Molly McGee speaking.
[7:01] Speaker 6: Oh, hello, Mrs.
[7:02] Speaker 5: Carstairs.
[7:02] Speaker 6: Oh, that old water buffalo.
[7:03] Speaker 5: Yes. You are? Why, we'd simply be delighted to, Mrs.
[7:08] Speaker 2: Carstairs. No.
[7:09] Speaker 5: What? Oh, just me. I see. You're the chairman of... Yes, but.
[7:14] Speaker 6: That old tomato surprise is chairman of so many committees,
[7:16] Speaker 6: she has her gloves made with built-in gavels.
[7:20] Speaker 5: Oh, well, thank you so much, Mrs. Carstairs.
[7:23] Speaker 2: Goodbye.
[7:24] Speaker 5: McGee, you know what?
[7:25] Speaker 6: Know what?
[7:26] Speaker 2: Mrs.
[7:26] Speaker 5: Carstairs is in charge of the reception committee for Mayor Latrivia.
[7:29] Speaker 2: Huh?
[7:29] Speaker 5: And they're all going to meet him at the railroad station,
[7:31] Speaker 5: and she's going to make a speech of welcome.
[7:33] Speaker 6: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. I got
[7:35] Speaker 6: a speech all rode out, and if that diamond-studded old
[7:38] Speaker 6: mud runner thinks she's going to be.
[7:39] Speaker 5: Yeah, but she's going to have a parade with Mayor
[7:41] Speaker 5: Latrivia in the back seat of her car, and she's
[7:43] Speaker 5: asked me to ride with them, and I said you'd
[7:44] Speaker 5: be with me, and she said there wouldn't be room
[7:46] Speaker 5: for you, so I said... Now, just a minute there.
[7:48] Speaker 6: Hold everything.
[7:49] Speaker 4: But look, dear.
[7:50] Speaker 6: I don't care what she said. Nobody's going to finagle
[7:52] Speaker 6: me out of this thing. Where's my overseas cap?
[7:54] Speaker 5: Ah, you lost it at the Legion Convention in 1936.
[8:00] Speaker 6: Then I'll wear my air raid warden helmet. Where's my
[8:02] Speaker 6: air raid warden helmet? My George is a World War veteran.
[8:05] Speaker 6: I think I'm entitled... Oh, I know where my air
[8:07] Speaker 6: raid warden helmet is.
[8:08] Speaker 8: Where?
[8:09] Speaker 6: It's right here in the hall.
[8:10] Speaker 5: Oh, no, McGee.
[8:19] Speaker 7: I've got to straighten out that closet one of these days.
[8:30] Speaker 6: Ah, here's my old air raid warden helmet.
[8:41] Speaker 2: The King's Men sing along the Navajo Trail.
[8:45] Speaker 8: Every day, along about evening, when the sunlight's beginning to fade.
[8:53] Speaker 4: I ride through the crumbling shadows.
[8:58] Speaker 8: Along, along, along the Navajo Trail. When it's night, And
[9:04] Speaker 8: crickets are calling, and coyotes are making a way.
[9:11] Speaker 4: And I dream of corn and pie. I love to
[9:21] Speaker 4: lie and.
[9:21] Speaker 8: Listen to the music When the wind is playing the
[9:26] Speaker 8: sacred guitar When over yonder hill the moon is climbing
[9:32] Speaker 8: It always reminds me wishing on the.
[9:35] Speaker 4: Star Well, what do you know? It's morning already.
[9:43] Speaker 8: Go silver and pale It's time To climb into my
[9:48] Speaker 8: saddle And go riding, go riding Along an animal.
[9:53] Speaker 4: Trail But when The.
[9:56] Speaker 8: Crickets are calling And the coyote coyotes are making a wail.
[10:04] Speaker 8: I dream, but it's more than quiet.
[10:09] Speaker 4: I dream about the Navajo Trail. What do you know?
[10:16] Speaker 8: It's morning already.
[10:18] Speaker 4: There's a darling beginning to sail.
[10:21] Speaker 6: It's quiet. So, Mrs. Carrstairs has took over the whole
[10:44] Speaker 6: The Trivia Welcome celebration, has she?
[10:46] Speaker 5: Yes, she has, baby.
[10:46] Speaker 6: Where are you meeting her? At her house? Is she
[10:49] Speaker 6: picking you up in her 40s home to Lincoln's? The
[10:53] Speaker 6: one that was given to her by Lincoln himself. Because
[10:56] Speaker 6: she looked so much like George Washington.
[10:58] Speaker 5: Oh, now, for goodness sakes, McGee, Mrs. Tarstairs never did
[11:02] Speaker 5: a thing to you. Why do you dislike her so much?
[11:05] Speaker 6: Because she's rich and I'm poor.
[11:06] Speaker 4: I know that.
[11:08] Speaker 6: Ain't reasonable, but it's human. In the way I dislike her,
[11:12] Speaker 6: I'm superhuman.
[11:12] Speaker 5: Well, for goodness sake, try not to be so.
[11:16] Speaker 2: Come in.
[11:17] Speaker 5: Well, heavenly days, Dr. Gamble.
[11:19] Speaker 2: Hello, my dear. Nice to see you. And how are you, supermouse?
[11:23] Speaker 6: What's that uniform?
[11:25] Speaker 2: Western Union?
[11:28] Speaker 6: My old army outfit, Aerosmith.
[11:30] Speaker 2: Well, how you been?
[11:30] Speaker 6: How'd you spend the summer, kid?
[11:32] Speaker 2: Oh, hunting and fishing and hiking.
[11:33] Speaker 5: Really, doctor?
[11:35] Speaker 10: Yes, hunting vacant beds in hospitals, fishing for appendices, and
[11:39] Speaker 10: hiking 30 miles a day.
[11:40] Speaker 2: Through maternity wards. Great little vacation.
[11:43] Speaker 6: 30 years a doctor and can't say appendicitis. Well, you
[11:48] Speaker 6: don't look a day older, Doc. Not a day older
[11:50] Speaker 6: than 106.
[11:50] Speaker 5: Say, did you hear about Mayor Latrivia coming home from
[11:53] Speaker 5: the Coast Guard today, Doctor?
[11:55] Speaker 10: I did indeed, my dear, and it'll be a great
[11:57] Speaker 10: day for Whistle Vista. Those adulterated incompetents in the town
[12:01] Speaker 10: hall need somebody who knows a parking ordinance from a
[12:03] Speaker 10: sewer assessment.
[12:05] Speaker 6: Latrivia's the best mayor we ever had. He's the only
[12:07] Speaker 6: politician in town that can wear a silk hat without
[12:10] Speaker 6: looking like Jiggs sneaking out to Denny Moore's saloon.
[12:13] Speaker 5: And his swallow-tailed coat never looks like it had spent
[12:15] Speaker 5: the summer at Capistrano, either.
[12:19] Speaker 10: I'm depending on him to help get the city some
[12:21] Speaker 10: new ambulances.
[12:21] Speaker 2: That's all.
[12:22] Speaker 10: Those two broken-down fracture trucks we have now spend so
[12:26] Speaker 10: much time in the repair shop, my patients get to
[12:28] Speaker 10: the hospital smelling like diesels.
[12:30] Speaker 5: Ah, this has been a pretty hard time for the
[12:34] Speaker 5: doctors who had to stay home, hasn't it?
[12:36] Speaker 2: Ah, patah.
[12:38] Speaker 6: Don't let this poor, flushing old artery pinch your kid,
[12:40] Speaker 6: you baby. What's such hard work about tearing off eight
[12:43] Speaker 6: inches of adhesive tape four times a day?
[12:46] Speaker 9: You know, he's right, Molly.
[12:50] Speaker 2: It's really a soft touch.
[12:52] Speaker 10: If I hadn't been given a beautiful new stethoscope for Christmas, I'd.
[12:56] Speaker 2: Give up medicine and go straight.
[12:57] Speaker 6: You tired of it, Doc? Tired of it?
[13:02] Speaker 10: Did you ever try making a living by having people
[13:05] Speaker 10: stick their tongues out at you?
[13:07] Speaker 5: Yes, he did, Doctor. He used to work in the
[13:09] Speaker 5: railroad ticket office. Ah, touche.
[13:14] Speaker 6: I never wore one.
[13:15] Speaker 2: Well, will I see you at the reception for the
[13:18] Speaker 2: trivia this afternoon, McGee?
[13:20] Speaker 5: I'm on Mrs.
[13:20] Speaker 2: Costair's committee. What?
[13:22] Speaker 6: Is everybody on that committee but me?
[13:24] Speaker 5: What's the matter with me?
[13:25] Speaker 10: We went into that subject at a luncheon meeting, but
[13:27] Speaker 10: we had to adjourn for dinner, so we never arrived
[13:30] Speaker 10: at a conclusion.
[13:32] Speaker 2: Good day, my dear. So long, corn borer.
[13:42] Speaker 6: This is a fine state of how-do-you-do. Mayor Latrivia's best friend,
[13:45] Speaker 6: and they don't even ask me to be on the
[13:46] Speaker 6: welcoming committee.
[13:47] Speaker 5: Well, my goodness, Jerry, there'll be such a crowd at
[13:49] Speaker 5: the station, you won't have a chance to talk to Mr.
[13:51] Speaker 2: Latrivia.
[13:51] Speaker 6: Yeah, but the point is, I'm being closed out. If
[13:54] Speaker 6: I knew what train he was coming in on, I'd
[13:55] Speaker 6: go to the next town up the line, and I'd.
[13:57] Speaker 2: Hello, Paul.
[13:58] Speaker 5: Hello there, Mr. Wilcox. My goodness, we haven't seen you
[14:00] Speaker 5: for ages. Hi, Junior.
[14:01] Speaker 6: What have you been doing since we saw you last?
[14:03] Speaker 2: Oh, spending most of my time at the golf course. Say,
[14:06] Speaker 2: did you hear about Mayor Latrivia coming home today?
[14:07] Speaker 5: Oh, indeed we did, Mr. Wilcox. Isn't it wonderful? I'm
[14:11] Speaker 5: going to ride in Mrs. Carstairs' automobile in the parade.
[14:13] Speaker 2: Oh, swell. Me too. I'm on her committee.
[14:15] Speaker 8: What?
[14:16] Speaker 2: You too?
[14:17] Speaker 6: Carstairs, Molly, Doc Gamble, and now you. What's going on
[14:20] Speaker 6: here anyway? Am I being intentionally left out of this?
[14:23] Speaker 2: Oh, now look, I've nothing to do with it, pal. Mrs.
[14:25] Speaker 2: Carstairs is handling the whole celebration. And I'll bet Latrivia
[14:29] Speaker 2: will be mighty happy to be a civilian again.
[14:31] Speaker 5: I suppose he will. Although men form some very strong
[14:34] Speaker 5: friendships in the service. McGee, did I know?
[14:36] Speaker 6: I sure did. And speaking of friendships, I'll never forget
[14:39] Speaker 6: what my sergeant says to me.
[14:40] Speaker 7: The day I was discharged.
[14:42] Speaker 6: Three little words that changed the whole course of my life.
[14:45] Speaker 5: What were they, McGee, those three little words?
[14:47] Speaker 2: Well, sir, there we were. Just off the boat at
[14:49] Speaker 2: Newport News.
[14:50] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[14:51] Speaker 6: Fellas that had been through thin and thick together. Thin
[14:54] Speaker 6: underwear and thick mud.
[14:55] Speaker 2: Ha, ha, ha.
[14:58] Speaker 6: Fought and bled together.
[15:01] Speaker 9: Buddy.
[15:03] Speaker 6: Well, sir, we knew lots of us would never see
[15:05] Speaker 6: lots of us again, and it was kind of, well,
[15:07] Speaker 6: kind of sentimental. All of a sudden, my sergeant comes
[15:10] Speaker 6: up to me and puts his arms around my shoulders
[15:13] Speaker 6: and says those.
[15:14] Speaker 5: Three little words.
[15:16] Speaker 6: Go home, civilian.
[15:19] Speaker 2: Hey, what outfit were you in? Judged by that uniform
[15:22] Speaker 2: you've got on, you were with the Lewis and Clark expedition.
[15:25] Speaker 9: Thank you.
[15:26] Speaker 6: Can't tell you that, Junior. I can only give you
[15:28] Speaker 6: my name, rank, and serial number. International law. Security reasons,
[15:31] Speaker 6: you know. Oh, don't be silly, McGee.
[15:37] Speaker 5: Don't be silly. That was 25 years ago.
[15:39] Speaker 2: Sure it was.
[15:40] Speaker 6: And the War Department would still like to know who
[15:42] Speaker 6: stole that boxcar full. Ah, those were silly. Yes, indeed.
[15:49] Speaker 6: Did I ever tell you how I won the Croix
[15:50] Speaker 6: de Guerre?
[15:50] Speaker 2: Did you win the Croix de Guerre? Really?
[15:52] Speaker 6: I won it, Junior, but I didn't get it. Jealousy,
[15:56] Speaker 6: you know. You see, two other guys and me kidnapped
[15:58] Speaker 6: von Hindenburg one night.
[15:59] Speaker 5: McGee, you never told me that.
[16:01] Speaker 6: I was afraid it might frighten you.
[16:04] Speaker 2: It did me.
[16:07] Speaker 6: Anyway, we kept von Hindenburg prisoner in a little patch
[16:09] Speaker 6: of woods behind the German line, hammering questions at him
[16:12] Speaker 6: all night long with a bayonet stuck in his back.
[16:16] Speaker 6: He answered every question, too. When he'd answered everything, we
[16:19] Speaker 6: threw him out and went back to our own line.
[16:21] Speaker 2: With some pretty valuable information, too, I guess.
[16:23] Speaker 6: Well, we'd have had some valuable information, Junior, but none
[16:27] Speaker 6: of us understood German. So we never knew exactly what
[16:35] Speaker 6: he told us. But that's enough about me, Junior. I
[16:39] Speaker 6: don't like to talk about my experiences.
[16:40] Speaker 5: Since when? I don't know.
[16:44] Speaker 6: Say, did you say you spent most of the summer
[16:45] Speaker 6: on the golf course, Junior?
[16:46] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[16:47] Speaker 6: You suppose those certain people up there in, you know, Wisconsin,
[16:50] Speaker 6: the folks that, you know, the stuff, did they approve
[16:53] Speaker 6: of that?
[16:53] Speaker 2: You mean the Johnson Wax people in Racine?
[16:55] Speaker 3: Sure.
[16:55] Speaker 2: They loved it.
[16:56] Speaker 5: You mean they approved that you were wasting the summer
[16:57] Speaker 5: playing golf?
[16:58] Speaker 2: Playing what?
[16:59] Speaker 6: Golf.
[16:59] Speaker 2: Oh, I don't play golf.
[17:00] Speaker 5: But you said you spent most of the summer on
[17:02] Speaker 5: the golf course.
[17:03] Speaker 6: What were you doing, trapping gophers?
[17:06] Speaker 2: No, I just sat there on the first tee with
[17:08] Speaker 2: my bag of clubs.
[17:11] Speaker 6: You do it, Molly.
[17:12] Speaker 5: No, you do it.
[17:15] Speaker 6: Somebody's got to do it.
[17:16] Speaker 5: Well, we'll both do it. What were you doing, Mr. Wilcox,
[17:20] Speaker 5: sitting on the first tee?
[17:21] Speaker 6: With your bag of clubs if you don't play golf.
[17:23] Speaker 2: That's a very interesting question. Well, I had a can
[17:26] Speaker 2: of Johnson's wax sitting beside me, see?
[17:29] Speaker 4: No.
[17:30] Speaker 2: Yes, sir. I sure did. It was the perfect demonstration
[17:40] Speaker 2: of Johnson's Wax. For wood, for leather, for enamel surfaces.
[17:43] Speaker 2: I'd wax my golf shoes and the golf bag, leather.
[17:46] Speaker 2: Then my clubs, wood.
[17:47] Speaker 6: They use steel clubs nowadays, like this.
[17:49] Speaker 2: Oh, who cares, who cares. Then I'd wax all my
[17:51] Speaker 2: golf balls, enamel. Well, if they're by that time, there'd
[17:54] Speaker 2: be a crowd around me watching. And I'd give them
[17:55] Speaker 2: a short pitch on Johnson's Wax. How it protects against
[17:58] Speaker 2: the elements, preserves the finish, seals the pores against dust
[18:01] Speaker 2: and dampness, and how it adds life and beauty to
[18:03] Speaker 2: so many things. Oh, say, you're going down to meet Latrivia, eh, pal?
[18:07] Speaker 6: You couldn't keep me away with a ten-foot pole named
[18:10] Speaker 6: Stanislas Walensky.
[18:11] Speaker 5: See you there, Mr. Wilcox. Right.
[18:12] Speaker 2: Goodbye.
[18:13] Speaker 7: Ah, good old Waxie.
[18:22] Speaker 6: Good old Waxie. I love the way he tightens up
[18:24] Speaker 6: and gets so excited when he talks about Johnson's Wax.
[18:27] Speaker 6: What do you suppose causes that?
[18:29] Speaker 5: Surface tension.
[18:30] Speaker 2: Oh, of course.
[18:32] Speaker 6: I should have known that. Come in. Mrs.
[18:35] Speaker 5: Carstairs, how nice to see you. Good afternoon, my dear.
[18:38] Speaker 3: You're looking very well.
[18:40] Speaker 6: Hi, Carstie. Look, I got a bone to pick with you.
[18:44] Speaker 2: How delightful.
[18:46] Speaker 5: And then shall we bark at automobiles for.
[18:48] Speaker 3: An hour or so?
[18:49] Speaker 5: Well, he just wonders why you didn't ask him to
[18:53] Speaker 5: be on the welcoming committee for Mayor Latrivia, Mrs. Carstairs.
[18:56] Speaker 6: Don't you know that Latrivia and I are extremely good friends, Carsey?
[19:00] Speaker 5: I do.
[19:01] Speaker 6: Did you realize that with me being an ex-serviceman myself,
[19:05] Speaker 6: I might be the logical person to handle a difficult
[19:07] Speaker 6: situation like this? Don't you think it would be fitting
[19:09] Speaker 6: for one war hero to welcome the other war hero?
[19:11] Speaker 6: May I ask why you deliberately give me the Hindu
[19:14] Speaker 6: shuffle on this deal?
[19:15] Speaker 2: Pray do.
[19:16] Speaker 5: Pray do what, Mrs. Tarzan? Pray ask me.
[19:20] Speaker 6: Okay, what was the idea of including me out of
[19:22] Speaker 6: this celebration?
[19:24] Speaker 3: Since you are so insistent, Mr. McGee, it was at
[19:26] Speaker 3: the request of Mayor Latrivia himself. We have corresponded with
[19:30] Speaker 3: him concerning his arrival, and he said in his last telegram,
[19:34] Speaker 3: and I quote, and please see that Thibault McGee is
[19:38] Speaker 3: kept in the background, unquote.
[19:40] Speaker 6: We see that Trevor McGee is kept in the background.
[19:46] Speaker 2: Oh, sure.
[19:48] Speaker 6: I think that's the finest compliment a man ever had.
[19:51] Speaker 5: Did you say compliment, dearie?
[19:52] Speaker 6: Why, don't you get it? That Latrivia is so sentimental,
[19:55] Speaker 6: he's afraid if he sees me, the first thing he'll
[19:57] Speaker 6: do is just go all to pieces. Can't trust himself.
[20:01] Speaker 6: Imagine him being so emotional.
[20:04] Speaker 5: Well, now that we've settled that to Mr.
[20:06] Speaker 3: McGee's satisfaction, and a remarkably cheap settlement it was... May
[20:11] Speaker 3: I have a word with you, my dear?
[20:12] Speaker 5: Why, of course, Mrs.
[20:13] Speaker 1: Tarsher.
[20:14] Speaker 5: Pardon us, dearie.
[20:15] Speaker 6: Why, sure.
[20:16] Speaker 3: Now, as for the arrangements, my dear, we all meet
[20:18] Speaker 3: down at the railroad station and form a group at
[20:20] Speaker 3: the gate. So when Mayor De Trivia's train comes in,
[20:23] Speaker 3: I'll be ready.
[20:23] Speaker 6: Please keep Trivia McGee in the background. I'm going to
[20:27] Speaker 6: treasure them words as long as I live. Why, to
[20:30] Speaker 6: think that old De Trivia thinks so.
[20:31] Speaker 2: Much of me.
[20:32] Speaker 4: Oh, my God. Thank you.
[21:15] Speaker 5: Heavenly days, what an anthill this station is. I don't
[21:19] Speaker 5: know why the railroads can't arrange to have their trains
[21:21] Speaker 5: come in someplace that isn't so crowded. I wonder where Mrs.
[21:23] Speaker 5: Carr says. Ah, there she is.
[21:25] Speaker 2: Yoo-hoo, Mrs.
[21:26] Speaker 5: Carr says.
[21:27] Speaker 2: Yoo-hoo.
[21:28] Speaker 5: There you are, my dear.
[21:29] Speaker 3: Is that awful little, uh.
[21:31] Speaker 5: Is your husband with you?
[21:32] Speaker 2: No.
[21:33] Speaker 5: No, he isn't. He just walked out of the house
[21:35] Speaker 5: muttering something about staying in the background. He seems... Oh, look, Mrs. Garces.
[21:40] Speaker 5: There's Mr. Wilcox and Dr.
[21:41] Speaker 9: Gamble.
[21:42] Speaker 5: Yoo-hoo, boys, over here.
[21:43] Speaker 6: Hello, Molly.
[21:45] Speaker 9: Hello, Millicent.
[21:45] Speaker 10: Paolo and I were wondering what train our wandering.
[21:48] Speaker 2: Coast Guardsman was coming in on. Never end a sentence
[21:51] Speaker 2: with a preposition, Doc.
[21:52] Speaker 10: I'm old enough to end a sentence with a split
[21:54] Speaker 10: infinitive if I want to. And I want to, but
[21:58] Speaker 10: I can't think of one now. Where's little Napoleon, Molly?
[22:01] Speaker 10: Don't tell me he's going to miss this glorious opportunity
[22:04] Speaker 10: to make a silly ass of himself.
[22:06] Speaker 5: Well, he just disappeared, Doctor.
[22:08] Speaker 3: I intentionally failed to tell him that there would be
[22:10] Speaker 3: a newsreel cameraman here.
[22:12] Speaker 5: I think you would agree that Mr. McGee is not
[22:14] Speaker 5: our most photogenic citizen.
[22:16] Speaker 2: You're not whistling Dixie there, lady?
[22:18] Speaker 5: Oh, I don't know. I think McGee photographs very well.
[22:21] Speaker 5: He has a nose just.
[22:22] Speaker 9: Like Bob Hope.
[22:23] Speaker 10: Yes, and he has shoulders like Clark Gable.
[22:26] Speaker 2: One on each side.
[22:27] Speaker 9: Oh.
[22:28] Speaker 6: However, that morph-eaten old uniform you.
[22:30] Speaker 4: Your attention, please.
[22:31] Speaker 10: Train number 31, the Cinder Bucket, will arrive in two.
[22:35] Speaker 6: Minutes on track three from East St.
[22:37] Speaker 2: Louis, Kankakee, Moline, Joliet.
[22:40] Speaker 6: And oddly enough, Havana, Cuba.
[22:42] Speaker 4: Come along, gentlemen.
[22:49] Speaker 3: We must be at the gate to welcome the mayor.
[23:02] Speaker 2: Well, where's Latrivia?
[23:04] Speaker 10: I don't see anybody in uniform on that train.
[23:06] Speaker 9: Except that dumpy little.
[23:07] Speaker 5: Guy in the.
[23:09] Speaker 10: Oh, now, wait a minute.
[23:10] Speaker 2: It can't be.
[23:11] Speaker 5: Heavenly days, it's McGee. McGee, how did you get on there?
[23:14] Speaker 2: All right, folks.
[23:16] Speaker 3: Well, there's Mr.
[23:17] Speaker 5: Latrivia right behind him trying to see what's going on.
[23:20] Speaker 2: Move aside, Mr.
[23:21] Speaker 3: McGee. Move aside.
[23:23] Speaker 2: Look at Latrivia trying to peek over McGee's shoulder. He
[23:25] Speaker 2: looks like the middle Andrew's sister. Oh.
[23:30] Speaker 9: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my proud privilege to welcome
[23:37] Speaker 9: home from the South Pacific Chief Gunner's Mate, His Honor,
[23:40] Speaker 9: Mayor Latrivia.
[23:41] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[23:44] Speaker 2: Thank you, my friend. Needless to say, I've looked forward
[23:46] Speaker 2: with a great deal of pleasure to this.
[23:48] Speaker 6: Hold a minute, Latrivia. I wasn't through yet.
[23:49] Speaker 2: Okay.
[23:52] Speaker 9: Since I climbed aboard at the edge of town, I
[23:54] Speaker 9: have been briefing Latrivia on how to conduct himself in
[23:56] Speaker 9: civilian life. I've been telling him he can't expect.
[23:59] Speaker 6: To go into the first store he comes to and
[24:01] Speaker 6: buy a girdle.
[24:01] Speaker 4: Oh, cut it out.
[24:04] Speaker 5: Come, come, come, Mr.
[24:06] Speaker 9: Mayor.
[24:06] Speaker 5: We have a car waiting for you.
[24:07] Speaker 2: Thank you, Mrs. Costas, and it's wonderful to see you again.
[24:10] Speaker 6: I was just telling Latrivia that the cigarette situation... Seagone
[24:13] Speaker 6: Ward Heeler.
[24:14] Speaker 2: How are you, boy? Doc Gamble. Why, you bald-headed old midwife.
[24:18] Speaker 5: Ha, ha, ha.
[24:19] Speaker 2: Good to see you.
[24:20] Speaker 5: And Harlow Wilcox.
[24:21] Speaker 2: Welcome home, pal. We've been keeping the ballot boxes hot
[24:24] Speaker 2: for you.
[24:24] Speaker 6: Well, I must say, I.
[24:26] Speaker 2: Well, Molly McGee. Hello, Molly.
[24:28] Speaker 5: Hello, Mr. Mayor. I... This is such a.
[24:32] Speaker 9: I've been telling Latrivia about what a.
[24:34] Speaker 6: Civilian's been through while he was out there in the
[24:36] Speaker 6: lazy old South Sea Island, folks. I told him that
[24:38] Speaker 6: he ought to.
[24:39] Speaker 5: Attention, please.
[24:40] Speaker 6: Train number 31, the Cinder Bucket, now leaving on track three.
[24:48] Speaker 5: Go!
[24:49] Speaker 2: Wait a minute.
[24:50] Speaker 6: My duffel bag.
[24:50] Speaker 2: I must have left it.
[24:51] Speaker 5: Out the train.
[24:52] Speaker 2: McGee, would you mind.
[24:53] Speaker 5: I'll get it. Hurry, McGee.
[24:58] Speaker 2: Well, I must say, folks, that when McGee got on
[25:00] Speaker 2: the train at the edge of town, I was very.
[25:02] Speaker 3: I can't find him, Virginia. Huh?
[25:03] Speaker 5: Okay, get off, McGee.
[25:04] Speaker 2: Get off quick. No, don't. It's going too fast, Kitty.
[25:07] Speaker 2: Let me off.
[25:08] Speaker 6: Let me off. Stop the train.
[25:10] Speaker 5: Stop the.
[25:13] Speaker 1: Train.
[25:14] Speaker 4: Let me off.
[25:15] Speaker 7: Pull it forward.
[25:17] Speaker 3: Pardon me, Mr. Mayor, but this is your duffel bag right.
[25:21] Speaker 2: Here, isn't it? Yes, isn't it?
[25:26] Speaker 9: Now, as I was saying, when McGee got on the
[25:28] Speaker 9: train at the edge of town, I was really.
[25:29] Speaker 2: Thank you.
[26:13] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[26:28] Speaker 2: Every now and then, I feel that I should say
[26:31] Speaker 2: something extra special about the newest form of Johnson's Wax.
[26:35] Speaker 2: To make sure you know about this new cream wax
[26:37] Speaker 2: that was developed for furniture and woodwork. It's quite different
[26:41] Speaker 2: from the regular liquid and paste wax. It's a white
[26:44] Speaker 2: liquid and it contains several cleansing ingredients. so that it
[26:48] Speaker 2: does an amazing cleaning job. You can make this test
[26:51] Speaker 2: in just a moment. Apply a little cream wax with
[26:54] Speaker 2: a cloth to a strip of light-colored woodwork or your
[26:57] Speaker 2: windowsill or refrigerator. Take a stretch that has smudgy fingerprints
[27:01] Speaker 2: or other dirt and notice how this disappears instantly. Then,
[27:05] Speaker 2: with a minimum of rubbing, you give furniture and woodwork
[27:08] Speaker 2: a soft, fattening wax luster that, believe me, is beautiful.
[27:12] Speaker 2: This wax finish is dry, not oily, so dirt and
[27:16] Speaker 2: dust don't cling to it. It gives furniture and woodwork
[27:19] Speaker 2: real wax protection, and it makes your housework easier. Even
[27:23] Speaker 2: if you already have the paste or liquid Johnson's wax
[27:26] Speaker 2: on hand, just try one bottle of cream wax. You'll
[27:29] Speaker 2: really like it.
[27:46] Speaker 6: Ladies and gentlemen, several years ago, there was a young
[27:48] Speaker 6: fellow singing with the orchestra on this program, and he
[27:51] Speaker 6: was a nice kid, and everybody liked him. In fact,
[27:54] Speaker 6: everybody liked him so much, they're making him one of
[27:56] Speaker 6: the top singing stars of today. His name is.
[27:59] Speaker 5: Harry Como, and our congratulations and best wishes to him.
[28:02] Speaker 6: Then a little later, there was a drummer with Billy
[28:05] Speaker 6: Mills Orchestra, but he had something besides a set of
[28:08] Speaker 6: skins and a wire brush. He had ideas. And those
[28:12] Speaker 6: ideas are now making him a miserable little fortune. You
[28:16] Speaker 6: know who we mean?
[28:16] Speaker 5: Spike Jones. Nice going, Spike.
[28:19] Speaker 6: Then there was an actor named Harold Perry. After seven
[28:23] Speaker 6: or eight years with us, he decided that time didn't
[28:25] Speaker 6: pay and.
[28:27] Speaker 6: As the great Gildersleeve is making Sunday night radio history.
[28:30] Speaker 2: More power to him.
[28:31] Speaker 5: And last but not least, from these little Tuesday night
[28:34] Speaker 5: weenie rolls, there came a character named Beulah. We want
[28:37] Speaker 5: to extend our congratulations and all good wishes to Marlon
[28:41] Speaker 5: Hurst and his own Beulah show.
[28:43] Speaker 6: It all just goes to prove, folks, that class will tell. Yeah?
[28:47] Speaker 5: Yeah? Who knows? Maybe someday McGee and I will have
[28:51] Speaker 5: a show of our very own.
[28:52] Speaker 10: But.
[28:58] Speaker 5: Good night, all.
[29:13] Speaker 2: Connor Wilcox, speaking for the makers of Johnson's Wax Finishes
[29:16] Speaker 2: for Home and.
[29:17] Speaker 7: Industry, inviting you all to.
[29:18] Speaker 2: Be with us again next Tuesday night. Stay tuned now
[29:21] Speaker 2: for Bob Hope. And remember, Tuesday is a bigger comedy
[29:25] Speaker 2: night than ever, with your old friends Amos and Andy
[29:27] Speaker 2: being heard just before Fibber McGee and Molly. Good night.
[29:31] Speaker 2: This is the National Broadcasting Company.
[29:38] Speaker 1: This concludes Fibber... McGee and Molly, welcoming Latrivia home from war.
[29:43] Speaker 1: Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for more classic broadcasts.

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