# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Mcgee Controls His Temper" (Old Time Radio, 1944)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 7 Oct 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75622693/cf9def9d25c2c341_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “McGee Controls His Temper,” episode 420, originally broadcast on NBC on December 26, 1944. Jim Jordan stars as Fibber McGee, alongside Marian Jordan as Molly, in the Johnson’s Wax-sponsored comedy series. At the McGee household, Fibber begins the day in a sour mood and vents to Molly over a string of everyday irritations—including troublesome pajamas, a fountain pen, and the newspaper. Also known in some listings as “Contrary McGee” or “Even-Tempered McGee,” this post-Christmas 1944 broadcast offers a character-driven dose of domestic comedy. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:40 Original Broadcast 29:53 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: December 26, 1944, brought NBC listeners a Johnson's Wax presentation
[0:05] Speaker 1: of Fibber McGee and Molly, episode 420, McGee Controls His Temper.
[0:12] Speaker 1: This 30-minute broadcast went out one week after Christmas, with
[0:16] Speaker 1: Jim Jordan and Marion Jordan as Fibber and Molly. At
[0:20] Speaker 1: the McGee household, Fibber arrives in a sour mood and
[0:24] Speaker 1: gives Molly a full account of the day's irritations, from
[0:27] Speaker 1: troublesome pajamas to a fountain pen in the newspaper. It
[0:31] Speaker 1: is a domestic visit with the McGees, built around one
[0:34] Speaker 1: trying day at home. And now, we return to the
[0:38] Speaker 1: original broadcast.
[0:40] Speaker 2: The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly. The
[0:51] Speaker 2: makers of Johnson's Wax for Home and Industry present Fibber
[0:54] Speaker 2: McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and Phil Leslie,
[0:57] Speaker 2: with music by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[0:59] Speaker 2: © BF-WATCH TV 2021 During this coming week, your kitchen
[1:22] Speaker 2: will probably get a little extra use. So it's a
[1:25] Speaker 2: good time to give the floor a protective coat of
[1:27] Speaker 2: Johnson's self-polishing glow coat. That will make it bright and cheerful,
[1:30] Speaker 2: show it off to best advantage when your friends drop in.
[1:33] Speaker 2: And it'll protect it against the extra wear. If you're
[1:36] Speaker 2: not already using glow coat, this will give you a
[1:38] Speaker 2: chance to see how easy it really is to use.
[1:41] Speaker 2: Glow coat is self-polishing, needs no rubbing or buffing. It's
[1:45] Speaker 2: especially useful on linoleum surfaces, on asphalt and rubber tile,
[1:49] Speaker 2: floors in kitchens, entrance halls, bathrooms. Spilled things are wiped
[1:53] Speaker 2: up in a jiffy. And I guess you know that
[1:55] Speaker 2: the regular use of Johnson's Glow Coat will make your
[1:58] Speaker 2: linoleum last six to ten times longer.
[2:20] Speaker 3: When an ordinarily.
[2:21] Speaker 2: Good-natured husband starts stalking up and down the living room
[2:24] Speaker 2: and throwing his weight around like so much confetti, it's
[2:27] Speaker 2: a good time for the little woman to get out
[2:29] Speaker 2: of the way. Unless, of course, the little woman knows
[2:32] Speaker 2: how to cope with it, like Mrs. McGee of Fibber
[2:35] Speaker 2: McGee and Molly.
[2:42] Speaker 4: The dad-brat, the dad-bratted thing anyway. The dad-brat. Of all
[2:46] Speaker 4: the dirty breaks. I could fall in a diamond mine
[2:49] Speaker 4: and come out with a bucket full of broken glass.
[2:52] Speaker 4: Why does everything have to happen to me? Doggone the
[2:55] Speaker 4: doggone luck anyway.
[2:57] Speaker 2: Of all the records.
[2:58] Speaker 5: McGee, stop kicking that piano. You have your new shoes on. McGee!
[3:04] Speaker 5: Stop it.
[3:05] Speaker 6: Well.
[3:05] Speaker 4: Heavenly.
[3:06] Speaker 5: Days, there's no use flying into a rage just because
[3:08] Speaker 5: you spilled a little ink on a letter.
[3:09] Speaker 6: A little ink? Look at it.
[3:11] Speaker 4: Smeared the whole page. Now I'll have to write the
[3:13] Speaker 4: whole dad-ratted letter over again. Can't read what I wrote
[3:16] Speaker 4: and don't remember what I said. Of all the dirty love.
[3:20] Speaker 2: McGee!
[3:21] Speaker 7: Well, gee whiz.
[3:22] Speaker 4: It wasn't just spilling the ink. It's been one of
[3:24] Speaker 4: them days. Everything's gone wrong. I couldn't get my pajamas
[3:29] Speaker 4: off this morning. cord was in a hard knot busted
[3:36] Speaker 4: my shoelace fell off the porch getting the morning paper
[3:40] Speaker 4: stuck my fork in my eye eating my.
[3:42] Speaker 5: Waffle well I've warned you about eating and reading the
[3:46] Speaker 5: paper at the same time dearie and.
[3:48] Speaker 4: That's another thing there was a big hole tore clear
[3:50] Speaker 4: through the morning paper if I ever lay hands on
[3:53] Speaker 4: the knucklehead that did that I did that I'll break
[3:56] Speaker 4: every bone in his huh you did You tore a
[4:01] Speaker 4: hole through the morning paper?
[4:02] Speaker 3: Yes.
[4:04] Speaker 4: What for?
[4:05] Speaker 5: So I could see you. I get awfully lonesome for
[4:11] Speaker 5: you at breakfast, dearie.
[4:12] Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
[4:12] Speaker 5: And for goodness sakes now, stop stomping around. Beulah has
[4:15] Speaker 5: a cake in the oven.
[4:16] Speaker 4: Well, if I had the dad-ratted sense of a dad-ratted horsefly, I'd... McGee,
[4:20] Speaker 4: stop swearing.
[4:22] Speaker 3: Oh.
[4:23] Speaker 5: Heavenly days, you can get more real profanity into a
[4:26] Speaker 5: dad rat than the average mule skinner has in his
[4:29] Speaker 5: whole vocabulary. My goodness, a woman doesn't like to see
[4:33] Speaker 5: her own husband.
[4:34] Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh. Hey, now, Molly, you got tears in
[4:36] Speaker 4: your eyes. Don't cry. Gee, I didn't mean to get
[4:39] Speaker 4: so tough.
[4:40] Speaker 7: Well?
[4:41] Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I got a nasty temper.
[4:44] Speaker 3: Yes, you have. You have.
[4:47] Speaker 5: You fly off the handle like a ten-cent tack hammer.
[4:51] Speaker 5: You should learn to control yourself.
[4:52] Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I know. But, gee, you mustn't cry
[4:55] Speaker 4: about it. Ain't that serious? Here, let me wipe your eyes.
[5:01] Speaker 4: There Now I'm sorry I made you cry I wasn't.
[5:08] Speaker 5: Crying I was peeling onions in the kitchen But I
[5:15] Speaker 5: don't like to see you get into those tantrums.
[5:17] Speaker 4: Yes, it is silly The idea of me going all
[5:20] Speaker 4: to pieces like a donut in a coffee cup.
[5:22] Speaker 5: Sure I'm ashamed Well, now, don't worry about it I
[5:27] Speaker 5: wouldn't want you too easy going It would mean you
[5:30] Speaker 5: lack character.
[5:31] Speaker 4: I know, but my temper's too ragged I'm about as
[5:34] Speaker 4: much fun to live with as a second mortgage I'm
[5:37] Speaker 4: going to turn over.
[5:37] Speaker 6: A new leaf.
[5:38] Speaker 5: Well, that's nice. Though if all the new leaves you've
[5:40] Speaker 5: turned over were made into a bonfire, we could barbecue
[5:43] Speaker 5: a rhinoceros.
[5:45] Speaker 4: But this time, I mean it.
[5:46] Speaker 2: Splendid.
[5:47] Speaker 5: Here now, go sit down and read this book you
[5:49] Speaker 5: started last week.
[5:50] Speaker 4: What is it?
[5:51] Speaker 5: The Rover Boys in Southern Waters.
[5:57] Speaker 4: Oh, I can't read that. There's a big bully in
[6:00] Speaker 4: it named Dan Baxter that gets me too mad. I'll
[6:04] Speaker 4: read the paper here. And don't cry anymore, Molly. I'll
[6:08] Speaker 4: be a good kid.
[6:09] Speaker 5: All right, dearie. Shall I turn that light on for you?
[6:11] Speaker 5: I don't want you to ruin those merry blue eyes.
[6:14] Speaker 4: My merry blue eyes will do okay, thanks. Ah, to
[6:18] Speaker 4: think that I should get so upset about little things
[6:21] Speaker 4: like a blotted letter. Pretty childish when you stop to
[6:26] Speaker 4: think about things.
[6:27] Speaker 5: Oh, hello, Alice. Come in, dear.
[6:28] Speaker 8: Hello, Mrs.
[6:29] Speaker 5: McGee.
[6:29] Speaker 8: I just wanted to tell Mr.
[6:30] Speaker 5: McGee I was sorry.
[6:32] Speaker 8: Huh?
[6:32] Speaker 4: Sorry about what, Alice?
[6:34] Speaker 5: About ruining your electric razor.
[6:36] Speaker 6: My electric razor? Doggone it, what in the name of.
[6:38] Speaker 4: McGee! Oh, forget it, Alice. Gee whiz, why get excited
[6:49] Speaker 4: over a little electric razor? What's the fun of shaving
[6:51] Speaker 4: if a guy can't bleed a little bit?
[6:57] Speaker 8: Well, I'm terribly sorry, Mr.
[6:58] Speaker 9: McGee.
[6:59] Speaker 8: I'd have it fixed for you, only some of the
[7:01] Speaker 8: pieces flew out the window into the snow. And when
[7:04] Speaker 8: I find them in the spring, they might be a
[7:06] Speaker 8: little rusty.
[7:08] Speaker 4: Yes, I flew all the pieces, eh? Must have been
[7:16] Speaker 4: quite a sight. I'd like to have been there when
[7:18] Speaker 4: it happened. I'd like to have been there before it happened.
[7:24] Speaker 5: See, Alice, what were you doing with the electric razor?
[7:26] Speaker 8: Shaving a coconut.
[7:30] Speaker 6: Shaving a coconut? Well, I'll be a.
[7:39] Speaker 4: Well, it was a fine idea, kid. Anything I love
[7:42] Speaker 4: to see, it's a nice, clean, shaven coconut.
[7:48] Speaker 5: Is shaving coconuts a hobby with you, Alice dear?
[7:50] Speaker 8: Well, no, but it looked so uncouth, Mrs.
[7:52] Speaker 3: McGee.
[7:53] Speaker 8: You see, it was sent to me by a boy
[7:55] Speaker 8: in the South Pacific, and I wanted it to look nice.
[7:57] Speaker 4: On a very good reason, Alice. What's a little thing
[8:00] Speaker 4: like an 18-buck razor compared to a great romance like yours?
[8:04] Speaker 5: Is the boy a flyer, Alice?
[8:05] Speaker 8: Yes, and oh, he's had some exciting experiences over there
[8:08] Speaker 8: in the jungles, believe me. One time he was lost
[8:11] Speaker 8: for three weeks in a swamp with nothing to eat.
[8:13] Speaker 6: Nothing?
[8:14] Speaker 8: No, all he had with him was a roll of maps,
[8:16] Speaker 8: but they saved his life.
[8:18] Speaker 5: You mean he studied the maps and found his way home?
[8:20] Speaker 8: No, he ate them.
[8:22] Speaker 4: He ate the maps? Now, wait a minute, Alice. That is.
[8:25] Speaker 3: Oh, but he did.
[8:26] Speaker 8: He was just about to die of hunger when he
[8:28] Speaker 8: suddenly thought of it. He held the maps up and
[8:31] Speaker 8: turned them around backwards and ate them.
[8:33] Speaker 5: I don't get it, Alice.
[8:34] Speaker 8: Creepers, don't you see?
[8:36] Speaker 4: Maps backwards is spam.
[8:41] Speaker 8: Well, I'm sorry about your razor, Mr.
[8:44] Speaker 2: Businessman. Billy Mills and the Orchestra and the Parade of
[8:56] Speaker 2: the Wooden Soldiers.
[8:56] Speaker 4: © BF-WATCH TV 2021.
[9:27] Speaker 9: THE END.
[9:45] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[10:16] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[10:46] Speaker 5: Well, how do you feel now, McGee?
[10:48] Speaker 4: Great, kiddo, great.
[10:49] Speaker 5: Your nerves stop jumping around like a ping-pong ball?
[10:52] Speaker 4: Yep, under strict control. Been sitting here reading the morning
[10:55] Speaker 4: paper as cool as an ice man's shoulder.
[10:59] Speaker 5: Well, good for you. Then maybe it's safe to break
[11:03] Speaker 5: a little bad news.
[11:04] Speaker 9: Huh?
[11:05] Speaker 5: Beulah smashed your wristwatch.
[11:08] Speaker 6: Really?
[11:10] Speaker 4: Well, I hope she didn't cut her hand on it.
[11:12] Speaker 3: Why, McGee, you're marvelous.
[11:15] Speaker 5: You love that watch.
[11:17] Speaker 4: Yeah, but it was a lot of trouble, too. Had
[11:19] Speaker 4: to wind it every day. Tell Beulah not to.
[11:23] Speaker 10: Worry about it.
[11:24] Speaker 5: McGee, I can't get over this. There was a time
[11:26] Speaker 5: when you'd have screamed with rage.
[11:30] Speaker 4: Yes, I know, but that was before I learned self-control.
[11:33] Speaker 4: I figure you'll live a lot longer if you don't
[11:35] Speaker 4: get too excited about things.
[11:36] Speaker 5: Yeah, or else it just seems longer.
[11:38] Speaker 4: And you'd be surprised how much better I feel already, Molly.
[11:43] Speaker 4: Just an hour or so of controlling my temper, and
[11:46] Speaker 4: I'm a new man.
[11:47] Speaker 5: Well, would the new man care if we had lamb
[11:49] Speaker 5: stew for dinner?
[11:50] Speaker 6: Lamb stew?
[11:51] Speaker 2: Again?
[11:52] Speaker 6: Doggone it, I've had so much lamb.
[11:54] Speaker 4: Stew lately, I'm afraid to make a U-turn. I'm getting
[12:02] Speaker 4: so darn sick.
[12:03] Speaker 6: Of lamb stew. That's how I would have reacted this morning.
[12:08] Speaker 4: Ah, but I'm different now.
[12:10] Speaker 2: Sure.
[12:21] Speaker 4: Let's have lamb stew. Probably very nourishing.
[12:24] Speaker 5: You give a very convincing imitation of yourself and a
[12:26] Speaker 5: bad temper, dearie.
[12:27] Speaker 4: Ah, and to think of all the years I've been
[12:29] Speaker 4: through making a chump of myself flying off the handle.
[12:31] Speaker 6: Sure.
[12:32] Speaker 4: When I might have just been sitting here just like this,
[12:34] Speaker 4: calmly reading the paper.
[12:35] Speaker 2: Hiya, Molly. Hiya, pal.
[12:37] Speaker 7: Heard the news?
[12:37] Speaker 3: Hello, Mr.
[12:38] Speaker 5: Wilcox.
[12:38] Speaker 4: What news, Junior?
[12:39] Speaker 2: Well, it isn't confirmed yet, but I've got it on
[12:41] Speaker 2: pretty good authority that the new superhighway goes right through
[12:44] Speaker 2: this block.
[12:45] Speaker 5: Heavenly days!
[12:46] Speaker 4: How will that affect us, Waxy?
[12:47] Speaker 2: Oh, hardly at all, except... You'll just have to find
[12:50] Speaker 2: another place to live, that's all. All these houses will
[12:53] Speaker 2: be condemned and torn down.
[12:55] Speaker 4: Now, just a darn minute.
[12:57] Speaker 6: You mean we're going to be thrown out of our
[12:59] Speaker 6: own home?
[12:59] Speaker 7: That's the general idea.
[13:01] Speaker 6: You hear that, Molly?
[13:09] Speaker 4: We're being tossed out on our clavicles.
[13:11] Speaker 2: Ha!
[13:14] Speaker 4: Ah, boy, is that rich. Just get the house almost
[13:16] Speaker 4: paid for and boom, out we go.
[13:18] Speaker 5: Funniest thing I ever heard. Well, I'm glad you're so
[13:21] Speaker 5: happy about it, McGee. Personally, I think it's an outrage
[13:23] Speaker 5: of all the.
[13:24] Speaker 4: Ah, ah, ah, temper, temper. You're spying off the handle
[13:26] Speaker 4: over a little thing like that. It's time we moved anyway.
[13:29] Speaker 4: Imagine moving into a new house with an empty hall closet.
[13:35] Speaker 2: Well, I must say, pal, you're taking this like a sportsman. Personally,
[13:38] Speaker 2: I'd be so darn mad, I'd blow up the courthouse.
[13:40] Speaker 5: Not a bad idea. Where's my hat?
[13:42] Speaker 4: I'll go down... Now, Molly, now, Molly. Why, shucks, Junior.
[13:46] Speaker 4: No use getting your blood pressure up on account of
[13:48] Speaker 4: something you can't do anything about. Relax and live longer,
[13:51] Speaker 4: I always says. Take it easy.
[13:53] Speaker 5: Take it easy, he says. And us about to be
[13:56] Speaker 5: thrown out in the street lugging luggage.
[13:58] Speaker 3: Oh, well.
[13:58] Speaker 4: Ah, what a day, what a day. Stick a fork
[14:02] Speaker 4: in my eye, wristwatch busted, electric razor ruined, thrown out.
[14:06] Speaker 6: Of our own home. Ain't that a panic?
[14:10] Speaker 2: Faber, permit me to shake your hand. No, don't get up,
[14:13] Speaker 2: don't get up. Ah, thank you. And look, will you
[14:16] Speaker 2: accept my congratulations on rising to a difficult occasion with
[14:20] Speaker 2: such savoir-faire, such aplomb, such sang-froid?
[14:24] Speaker 5: Is that good?
[14:25] Speaker 2: Well, it's marvelous. I never knew you could restrain yourself
[14:29] Speaker 2: like that, pal. And I think it's all a matter
[14:31] Speaker 2: of internal control.
[14:32] Speaker 5: How else would he do it?
[14:34] Speaker 2: Well, external circumstances sometimes help. Like a woman I know
[14:38] Speaker 2: who was always in a foul temper. Nerves were ragged.
[14:41] Speaker 2: Her name was Mimi Perkins, and everybody called her Screaming Mimi.
[14:45] Speaker 2: And you know what cured her?
[14:47] Speaker 4: What did cure her, asked Little Fibber innocently, as if
[14:50] Speaker 4: he hadn't heard the answer every week for ten years.
[14:55] Speaker 2: Why, Johnson's Wax. When she found out how easy Johnson's
[14:58] Speaker 2: Wax made her house work, she was a different woman.
[15:01] Speaker 2: The very fact that every piece of furniture, all the lampshades, windowsills, woodwork,
[15:05] Speaker 2: and leather things gleamed and sparkled with a new beauty
[15:08] Speaker 2: and cleanliness. Why, it just did things for Mimi.
[15:11] Speaker 5: And Screaming Mimi is now known as Peaceful Perkins, I suppose.
[15:15] Speaker 2: Well, it changed her whole life. Moved her family from Hellgate,
[15:20] Speaker 2: New York, to Lake Placid. And all because Johnson's wax
[15:25] Speaker 2: had smoothed the way.
[15:26] Speaker 4: Well, that ain't how I do it, Waxy. With me,
[15:28] Speaker 4: it's just willpower. I look myself right in the eye,
[15:32] Speaker 4: which is quite a trick in itself. And I say,
[15:36] Speaker 4: now look, McGee, old man, I say, there's an old
[15:39] Speaker 4: Chinese saying you ought to keep in mind. What does
[15:44] Speaker 4: that mean? I don't know. I don't understand Chinese. Well,
[15:51] Speaker 4: thanks for the information anyway, Junior.
[15:53] Speaker 2: Oh, don't mention it, pal. As I say, it may
[15:55] Speaker 2: be just a rumor, but I thought you ought to know. Hey, Fever,
[15:58] Speaker 2: it's getting pretty dark in here to read a newspaper.
[16:00] Speaker 2: Don't you want me to turn on that light for you?
[16:02] Speaker 6: No, I don't. Doggone it, if I wanted that light
[16:04] Speaker 6: turned on.
[16:08] Speaker 4: No, thanks, Junior.
[16:09] Speaker 6: I'm okay.
[16:09] Speaker 4: Perfectly all right.
[16:10] Speaker 5: Won't you sit down a while, Mr. Wilcox, and enjoy
[16:12] Speaker 5: this new air of peace and happiness that has come
[16:15] Speaker 5: to our little nest?
[16:16] Speaker 2: No, thanks, Molly. And congratulations on your new outlook, pal.
[16:20] Speaker 2: I guess people were right about you after all.
[16:22] Speaker 4: What have they been saying?
[16:23] Speaker 2: Well, they've been saying a guy like you ought to
[16:25] Speaker 2: go a long way.
[16:26] Speaker 5: Isn't that nice?
[16:27] Speaker 6: Yep.
[16:27] Speaker 2: They say they can hardly wait for him to get started.
[16:29] Speaker 3: Well, so long now.
[16:39] Speaker 5: Ah, there goes one of the nicest men I know, McGee.
[16:41] Speaker 5: He has such wonderful manners and all.
[16:43] Speaker 4: Oh, don't let that bowing from the waist fool you, Snooki.
[16:46] Speaker 4: That's just his way of sneaking a peek at the
[16:47] Speaker 4: floors and woodwork. Hey, there's a picture coming to the
[16:51] Speaker 4: Bijou I want to see.
[16:52] Speaker 3: What is it?
[16:53] Speaker 4: Winged Victory. That army picture. I understand it's not only colossal,
[16:57] Speaker 4: but very good. It's got everybody in it but Edwin Booth.
[17:01] Speaker 5: I'd like to see that, too. Oh, you don't know
[17:04] Speaker 5: how much good it does me to see you sitting
[17:06] Speaker 5: here so calm and collected, McGee. Don't you want me
[17:09] Speaker 5: to turn on that light for you?
[17:10] Speaker 6: No!
[17:11] Speaker 5: No, thanks.
[17:12] Speaker 4: I'm perfectly all right, thank you. Don't worry about it.
[17:15] Speaker 4: I like it this way. I've only got to finish
[17:17] Speaker 4: Barney Google and Chief Wahoo anyway.
[17:19] Speaker 5: Well, I'll go see how Beulah's coming along with dinner. Say,
[17:22] Speaker 5: did you tell her about raising your salary $ 2 a week?
[17:25] Speaker 4: My gosh, I forgot all about it. I'd better call her.
[17:29] Speaker 3: Oh, somebody about to call for Beulah?
[17:38] Speaker 4: Yes, Bueller, I wanted to tell you that I took
[17:40] Speaker 4: the matter up with the War Labor Board and got
[17:42] Speaker 4: a confirmation to raise your salary two bucks a week.
[17:44] Speaker 3: Well, for goodness sake. Thank you ever so much, sir.
[17:48] Speaker 3: Who's going to be here?
[17:49] Speaker 5: What do you mean, who's going to be here?
[17:52] Speaker 11: Well, it's been my experience, ma'am, that when folks raises
[17:54] Speaker 11: my salary all of a sudden like that, it usually
[17:57] Speaker 11: means they're planning some big wing thing whereby I loses
[18:00] Speaker 11: my Thursday off or something.
[18:03] Speaker 4: There's no catch in it, Beulah. You've been doing a
[18:05] Speaker 4: good job and we appreciate you, that's all.
[18:07] Speaker 3: Thank you very much, sir. Sure is good news. One
[18:10] Speaker 3: more raise like that and I can afford to quit.
[18:15] Speaker 5: Heavenly days, Beulah. Aren't you happy here?
[18:17] Speaker 3: Oh, yes, ma'am. This is the most compatible place I
[18:20] Speaker 3: ever worked.
[18:21] Speaker 9: Oh, oh.
[18:22] Speaker 3: Only me and Ira we may get married.
[18:25] Speaker 4: Is Ira your current admirer, Beulah?
[18:28] Speaker 3: Current?
[18:28] Speaker 11: That man is thousand watts, million volts, direct and alternating.
[18:35] Speaker 5: All turn easy?
[18:36] Speaker 6: Yes, ma'am.
[18:36] Speaker 3: Between me and Lily Robinson.
[18:39] Speaker 4: She works for Toopsin'. Oh, but you got the inside track, eh?
[18:42] Speaker 11: I got the inside track. On the rail, closing fast,
[18:44] Speaker 11: in a photo finish, I win. That Lily should take
[18:48] Speaker 11: a bad picture.
[18:49] Speaker 5: Has Ira proposed yet, Beulah?
[18:52] Speaker 3: Oh, no, but I know the signs, ma'am. When a
[18:57] Speaker 3: gal's straight in.
[18:58] Speaker 11: A man's necktie and he don't slap her hand away
[19:00] Speaker 11: no more, she might as well start selecting her torso.
[19:07] Speaker 4: It's true so, Beulah.
[19:09] Speaker 3: It's true so helpless, sir.
[19:14] Speaker 5: Well, Beulah, we'll hate to lose you, but never let
[19:16] Speaker 5: it be said that the McGee's ever barricaded the middle aisle.
[19:19] Speaker 4: Yeah, let us know when it happens, Beulah. We'd like
[19:21] Speaker 4: to give you a shower.
[19:23] Speaker 3: Mr. McGee, you're just trying to make me blush.
[19:27] Speaker 5: Now, Beulah, he means a gift shower.
[19:29] Speaker 10: Yeah.
[19:30] Speaker 4: You better read up on the customs, Beulah. You know,
[19:32] Speaker 4: when you get married, you gotta wear something old, something new,
[19:35] Speaker 4: something borrowed, and something blue.
[19:37] Speaker 1: Mr.
[19:37] Speaker 5: McGee did, Beulah. He wore an old suit, a new hat,
[19:40] Speaker 5: and borrowed two dollars from me for the license.
[19:42] Speaker 3: And what was blue, sir?
[19:44] Speaker 4: Four of the prettiest gals in Peoria.
[19:46] Speaker 3: Four of the prettiest gals in Peoria. Mad about that
[19:55] Speaker 3: little character.
[20:08] Speaker 2: The Kingsmen sing Accentuate the Positive.
[20:13] Speaker 10: Gather round me, everybody. Gather round me while I preach some.
[20:27] Speaker 10: Feel a sermon come.
[20:32] Speaker 4: I must deliver this message.
[20:35] Speaker 10: Before the old year's gone.
[20:38] Speaker 9: You gotta accentuate the positive.
[20:43] Speaker 4: Eliminate the negative.
[20:46] Speaker 6: Latch on.
[20:47] Speaker 3: To the affirmative, don't mess with Mr.
[20:50] Speaker 4: Inbetween.
[20:51] Speaker 5: You gotta spread joy up to the maximum.
[20:55] Speaker 7: Bring gloom down to the minimum.
[20:57] Speaker 9: Have faith, a pandemonium liable to walk upon the scene.
[21:03] Speaker 7: To illustrate my last remark, Jonah.
[21:06] Speaker 3: In the whale, Noah in the ark. What did they do.
[21:10] Speaker 4: Just when everything looked so dark?
[21:14] Speaker 6: They said they better.
[21:15] Speaker 9: Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative.
[21:24] Speaker 6: Don't mess with this good in between.
[21:26] Speaker 9: You gotta spread joy up to the maximum.
[21:30] Speaker 4: Bring gloom down to the minimum.
[21:33] Speaker 9: Have faith, a pandemonium liable to walk upon the scene.
[21:38] Speaker 4: To make it clear, let me show Moses in the.
[21:41] Speaker 9: Big red sea and Joshua at Jericho. What did they
[21:47] Speaker 9: do when the spirits were sagging low?
[21:52] Speaker 7: Man, they started into act.
[21:53] Speaker 9: Accentuate the positive D.
[21:57] Speaker 3: Eliminate the negative latch.
[22:00] Speaker 7: On to the affirmative Don't mess with Mr.
[22:03] Speaker 4: Inbetween Just accentuate the positive.
[22:06] Speaker 9: Eliminate the negative Don't mess with Mr.
[22:10] Speaker 12: Inbetween McGee, dear, it's getting pretty dark.
[22:25] Speaker 5: Don't you want me to turn that light on for you?
[22:27] Speaker 4: Doggone it. How many times have I got to tell you.
[22:31] Speaker 4: No, thank you. I'm fine. Perfectly all right. Just reading
[22:36] Speaker 4: the want ads anyway.
[22:37] Speaker 5: Sorry I disturbed you again. You've been so wonderful about
[22:40] Speaker 5: not letting things annoy you, I ought to leave you alone,
[22:43] Speaker 5: I guess.
[22:43] Speaker 4: Oh, forget it. Nothing bothers me. Hey, how do you
[22:46] Speaker 4: like this want ad I just come across? Wanted. Man
[22:50] Speaker 4: to work around small farm with six cows and one
[22:53] Speaker 4: horse who can drive half-ton truck and help with housework.
[22:56] Speaker 5: Well, if they close all the racetracks in the country,
[23:01] Speaker 5: there'll be a lot of horses looking for housework.
[23:03] Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess what they really want is a longer
[23:08] Speaker 4: morning line at the ammunition factory.
[23:11] Speaker 5: See, speaking of ammunition, dearie, I never told you about
[23:14] Speaker 5: your shotgun.
[23:15] Speaker 4: You mean my new single-barrel 12-gauge? What about it?
[23:17] Speaker 5: Well, I was trying to get into that old trunk
[23:19] Speaker 5: in the attic, and the lid was stuck, and I
[23:21] Speaker 5: didn't have anything to pry it open with, and your
[23:23] Speaker 5: shotgun was standing in the corner, and... Well, how far
[23:27] Speaker 5: can you bend the barrel of a gun before it's
[23:29] Speaker 5: really damaged?
[23:30] Speaker 4: You mean my new shotgun? You bent the barrel, so...
[23:39] Speaker 4: How bad is it bent?
[23:41] Speaker 5: Oh, not more than two or three inches. It curves
[23:43] Speaker 5: up slightly now.
[23:47] Speaker 4: Just bent the barrel two or three inches, eh?
[23:48] Speaker 5: Yeah, but in another way it's better than it was.
[23:51] Speaker 6: How's that?
[23:52] Speaker 5: Well, that little bump on the end of the barrel
[23:53] Speaker 5: broke off. Now it won't get in your way when
[23:57] Speaker 5: you aim.
[24:00] Speaker 6: That was a sight.
[24:01] Speaker 5: It certainly was. You know, it's part of the looks
[24:06] Speaker 5: of that whole gun.
[24:07] Speaker 4: Oh, Molly, you're terrific. My gosh, worrying over bending a
[24:12] Speaker 4: gun barrel a mere two or three inches. Oh, I'm
[24:16] Speaker 4: going to love it that way. Now I can shoot
[24:18] Speaker 4: around corners.
[24:20] Speaker 2: Really?
[24:21] Speaker 5: And you're not angry with me?
[24:22] Speaker 4: I'm not angry with anybody. Relax, kiddo. Just as soon
[24:27] Speaker 4: as I finish reading this paper, we'll be off. Oh, dear.
[24:29] Speaker 5: Come in.
[24:31] Speaker 4: Oh, it's Dr.
[24:31] Speaker 2: Gamble.
[24:32] Speaker 5: Hello, doctor.
[24:32] Speaker 4: Hello, Molly. And a happy new year to you, too, underslung.
[24:38] Speaker 4: I can't stand this. Good afternoon, Dr.
[24:41] Speaker 10: Gamble.
[24:42] Speaker 7: Dr. Gamble? Why this sudden attack of formality? Don't you
[24:46] Speaker 7: know me, McGee? I'm your friend. I'm your family physician.
[24:50] Speaker 7: The magnetic personality with the $ 12 stethoscope who has to
[24:53] Speaker 7: assure you five times a week that a wart on
[24:55] Speaker 7: the thumb is not necessarily fatal.
[24:57] Speaker 6: Remember?
[25:00] Speaker 7: What is this, Molly? Has little rubber puss got a
[25:02] Speaker 7: grouch on?
[25:04] Speaker 5: On the contrary, doctor. He's decided to keep his temper
[25:06] Speaker 5: under control after this. And I must admit he's been
[25:09] Speaker 5: doing a magnificent job.
[25:10] Speaker 4: No kidding.
[25:12] Speaker 7: Well, he's probably lengthening his own life, but the shock
[25:14] Speaker 7: will kill a lot of his friends. Not that I
[25:17] Speaker 7: believe a word of it, of course. You can't teach
[25:20] Speaker 7: an old dog new tricks. And he's one of the
[25:22] Speaker 7: oldest dogs that ever sat up and begged for a
[25:24] Speaker 7: poke in the nose.
[25:24] Speaker 9: Yeah!
[25:26] Speaker 5: But I tell you, doctor, it's working. Everything has happened today,
[25:30] Speaker 5: and he's been as sweet-tempered as an angel about it all.
[25:32] Speaker 7: He better drop in my office and let me tune
[25:34] Speaker 7: in on his peristalsis. With him, ten minutes of good
[25:37] Speaker 7: nature is pathological Ordinarily, he's just a nasty little sour
[25:41] Speaker 7: puss with the temper of a bilious buffalo.
[25:45] Speaker 5: Do give him credit for trying, though, doctor Why not?
[25:47] Speaker 7: I've given him credit for everything else, including my valuable
[25:50] Speaker 7: services As a matter of fact.
[25:53] Speaker 4: Dear, if he keeps this up, it'll be very beneficial.
[25:55] Speaker 5: Oh, you mean his health will be better, huh?
[25:57] Speaker 7: Oh, indubitably Anger, you know, releases adrenaline into the system
[26:01] Speaker 7: Adrenaline is highly toxic That's why he's always been such
[26:04] Speaker 7: a poisonous little character.
[26:07] Speaker 5: Oh, now, Doctor, please. He's been such a good boy.
[26:10] Speaker 5: Don't spoil it.
[26:11] Speaker 7: All right, all right. You win. Well, I'd better run
[26:15] Speaker 7: along before I say something I might regret, as if
[26:17] Speaker 7: I could.
[26:18] Speaker 5: Well, maybe it would be better if nothing happened to
[26:21] Speaker 5: bother him.
[26:21] Speaker 7: Yeah, I see what you mean.
[26:23] Speaker 4: Well, Happy New Year to you, Molly.
[26:24] Speaker 1: Thank you.
[26:25] Speaker 7: If you can manage it, living with stupid little beetle
[26:28] Speaker 7: brain over there. I, uh.
[26:37] Speaker 7: I hope, uh... I hope little droopy drawers won't take
[26:40] Speaker 7: it amiss. I hope he won't take it amiss if
[26:44] Speaker 7: I make a slight suggestion in the best interest of
[26:47] Speaker 7: his well-being.
[26:48] Speaker 5: What's that, Doctor?
[26:49] Speaker 7: Getting too dark to read in here.
[26:50] Speaker 4: Let me turn on that light.
[26:51] Speaker 7: There you are.
[26:52] Speaker 4: Ah!
[26:55] Speaker 3: Get your big.
[26:55] Speaker 4: Fat hands off of that light, you nosy old bone scraper.
[26:59] Speaker 4: Can't a guy read his paper in peace without every
[27:01] Speaker 4: busybody in town butting his big bald head into.
[27:03] Speaker 6: What's none of his business? All I ask is a
[27:05] Speaker 6: little peace and quiet and what do I get? Yammer, yammer, yammer.
[27:08] Speaker 7: Hubba, hubba, hubba.
[27:09] Speaker 5: Turning on the lights all.
[27:10] Speaker 3: Over the place.
[27:12] Speaker 4: But, my boy, I was merely... Well, go merely someplace else,
[27:15] Speaker 4: you big lemonhead.
[27:16] Speaker 6: Of all the dad-ratted nerves.
[27:18] Speaker 5: McGee, stop kicking that piano.
[27:20] Speaker 9: I'll kick the dad-ratted jukebox all over the house if
[27:23] Speaker 9: that big.
[27:23] Speaker 4: If that big, obscure, obsolete, everything old, obstretion don't scram
[27:28] Speaker 4: out of here.
[27:28] Speaker 3: I ain't talking!
[28:05] Speaker 2: Most men, like myself, take a lot of things around
[28:07] Speaker 2: the house for granted. Few of us really realize, for example,
[28:10] Speaker 2: how much our good wives have done to make our
[28:12] Speaker 2: homes attractive, to keep everything in good running order, and
[28:15] Speaker 2: to take special care of our household things for the duration.
[28:18] Speaker 2: Why is it you don't have to spend much money
[28:20] Speaker 2: refinishing your floors? Well, because they're probably protected from wear
[28:24] Speaker 2: with regular applications of genuine Johnson's wax. Why is your
[28:28] Speaker 2: dining room tabletop so beautiful, so rich-looking? It's probably polished
[28:31] Speaker 2: with that same Johnson's Wax. Then look at the windowsills
[28:35] Speaker 2: and Venetian blinds, the woodwork and baseboards. Don't forget that
[28:38] Speaker 2: wax protects them, too. So you can thank the lady
[28:41] Speaker 2: of the house for looking after your interests, just as
[28:43] Speaker 2: she thanks Johnson's Wax for helping her so much in
[28:45] Speaker 2: her daily work. Regular waxing really saves work all through
[28:49] Speaker 2: the year, makes cleaning easier, as well as making precious
[28:52] Speaker 2: furnishings last longer.
[29:04] Speaker 5: Ladies and gentlemen, from the Johnson Wax people, Billy Mills
[29:08] Speaker 5: and his orchestra, the King's men, Alice, Dr. Gamble, Harlow Wilcox, Beulah, us,
[29:14] Speaker 5: and the man who slams the door, a very happy
[29:17] Speaker 5: New Year.
[29:17] Speaker 4: May your 45 really be loaded. Good night.
[29:20] Speaker 9: Good night.
[29:35] Speaker 7: This is Harlow.
[29:36] Speaker 2: Wilcox speaking for the makers of Johnson Wax finishes for
[29:39] Speaker 2: home and industry. inviting you all to be with us
[29:41] Speaker 2: again next Tuesday night.
[29:42] Speaker 7: Good night.
[29:43] Speaker 6: This is the.
[29:43] Speaker 4: National Broadcasting Company.
[29:52] Speaker 1: We conclude with Fibber McGee and Molly. McGee controls his temper.
[29:56] Speaker 1: Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for more classic broadcasts.

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