# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Bad Luck with Mirrors" (Old Time Radio, 1943)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 2 Oct 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75523910/72014d39281c81a2_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Bad Luck with Mirrors,” episode 374 of the classic NBC comedy, originally broadcast on October 19, 1943. Jim and Marian Jordan star as Fibber and Molly McGee, in a script by Don Quinn. When a household mirror breaks at the McGees’ home in Wistful Vista, Fibber and Molly find themselves worrying about the old superstition of seven years’ bad luck. Their anxious reactions turn a small domestic mishap into a lively comic predicament. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:39 Original Broadcast 30:08 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: A broken mirror in the McGee's home leaves Fibber and
[0:03] Speaker 1: Molly confronting the familiar superstition of seven years of bad luck.
[0:09] Speaker 1: On October 19, 1943, NBC carried Fibber McGee and Molly,
[0:15] Speaker 1: Bad Luck with Mirrors, episode 374, with Jim and Marion
[0:20] Speaker 1: Jordan as the McGees. Written by Don Quinn and sponsored
[0:25] Speaker 1: by Johnson's Wax, the broadcast remains at home in Wistful Vista,
[0:29] Speaker 1: following the couple's anxious response to the mishap and the
[0:33] Speaker 1: omen they believe it may bring. And now, we return
[0:37] Speaker 1: to the original broadcast.
[0:40] Speaker 2: The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly. The
[0:50] Speaker 2: makers of Johnson's Wax, Johnson's Far New, and Johnson's Self-Polishing
[0:54] Speaker 2: Glow Coat present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn,
[0:57] Speaker 2: with music by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[1:27] Speaker 3: One of the really.
[1:28] Speaker 2: Important extra uses for Johnson's Wax is the protection of leather.
[1:32] Speaker 2: Hardly a day goes by without somebody writing us that
[1:35] Speaker 2: they've just discovered how useful wax is for their luggage, belts, purses,
[1:39] Speaker 2: and shoes. We get this same story today from war
[1:42] Speaker 2: workers and from men in service. A girl in a
[1:44] Speaker 2: war plant writes, I am among the thousands of women
[1:47] Speaker 2: who are doing a man-sized job of running a machine
[1:50] Speaker 2: in a war plant. Our leather shoes protect us against
[1:53] Speaker 2: foot injury... And to protect the shoe leather against wear,
[1:56] Speaker 2: we wax our shoes with Johnson's wax. Another letter from
[1:59] Speaker 2: three members of a glider crew reads as follows. The
[2:02] Speaker 2: boys in our outfit have had trouble keeping their GI
[2:05] Speaker 2: shoes shined and water repellent. One day, we put a
[2:08] Speaker 2: coat of your Johnson's paste wax on our shoes. It
[2:10] Speaker 2: not only shined them, but helped to keep them dry.
[2:13] Speaker 2: Now we just brush them off and the shine is restored.
[2:16] Speaker 2: I've read you these letters simply as a reminder not
[2:19] Speaker 2: to forget your leather articles next.
[2:21] Speaker 4: Time you're using your Johnson's. Well, October 19th, 1943 has
[2:33] Speaker 4: finally arrived.
[2:34] Speaker 3: And the Squire of 79 Wistful Vista is wild with joy.
[2:35] Speaker 4: Ah, happy day, the ecstasy of.
[2:36] Speaker 3: It all, the happiness, the cheer, and the jolly old gladness.
[2:39] Speaker 4: Of it.
[3:01] Speaker 2: To think that for seven whole years now. Oh, but
[3:04] Speaker 2: listen to Fibber McGee and Molly.
[3:12] Speaker 4: I made it. You hear that, Molly? I made it.
[3:14] Speaker 4: I'm alive and healthy. Now for a clean, fresh start.
[3:17] Speaker 2: Woo-hoo!
[3:18] Speaker 4: Yahweh! I'm a new man.
[3:19] Speaker 5: When you stop dancing that Peoria minuet and quit hooping
[3:23] Speaker 5: around like a carousing Comanche, you might explain all this exuberance.
[3:26] Speaker 4: What? You mean you don't know what day this is?
[3:28] Speaker 5: Well, aside from Tuesday, October 19th, 1943, no.
[3:30] Speaker 4: Oh, Molly, this is my day of liberation. I'm free.
[3:35] Speaker 2: From what?
[3:35] Speaker 4: From bad luck. Don't you remember what happened on October 19th, 1936?
[3:39] Speaker 2: No.
[3:39] Speaker 4: That's the day I busted the mirror.
[3:42] Speaker 6: Oh, dear.
[3:46] Speaker 4: My seven years' bad luck are over. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
[3:49] Speaker 4: This calls for a drink. This calls for a drink.
[3:52] Speaker 4: We got any root beer? I says, we got any
[3:56] Speaker 4: root beer? Molly, what do you look at me like
[3:59] Speaker 4: that for? I never drink a whole bottle.
[4:02] Speaker 5: Well, I wasn't worried about that, dearie. Well, I was
[4:06] Speaker 5: just going to ask you to do something for me,
[4:08] Speaker 5: but now.
[4:09] Speaker 4: Oh, come on. Ask me anything. You've been through this
[4:11] Speaker 4: seven years, too, and you've been a good kid about it, too.
[4:14] Speaker 4: I'll do anything. Anything.
[4:16] Speaker 2: Really?
[4:16] Speaker 4: Absolutely. Why, I'm so darn happy I was even content
[4:20] Speaker 4: with the world when I finished reading Pegler this morning.
[4:26] Speaker 4: Come on, baby, what do you want me to do?
[4:28] Speaker 5: Well, you won't like it.
[4:29] Speaker 4: I'll love it, whatever it is. From now on, I
[4:32] Speaker 4: fear nothing.
[4:33] Speaker 7: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[4:35] Speaker 4: Fearless river, finally freed from a fate fraught with foul
[4:37] Speaker 4: and fiendish phantom. Finally finished with fanciful fretting over fantastic.
[4:41] Speaker 4: What do you want me to do?
[4:45] Speaker 5: Carry the hall mirror downtown, have it re-silvered.
[4:51] Speaker 4: Carry the hall... The mirror downtown? Oh, Molly.
[4:56] Speaker 4: My wife. On this of all days.
[5:00] Speaker 5: Oh, listen, don't be so superstitious. People don't believe in
[5:03] Speaker 5: that seven years bad luck business.
[5:04] Speaker 6: There's nothing to it.
[5:06] Speaker 4: Oh, they don't, isn't there? Well, I know that. Besides,
[5:10] Speaker 4: the hall mirror don't need to be reslivered.
[5:12] Speaker 5: Resilient. And yes, it does now. You know, you were
[5:17] Speaker 5: asking me just the other day why it was you
[5:18] Speaker 5: always had freckles in the hall that went away in
[5:20] Speaker 5: the bathroom. Besides, now, what's so dangerous about carrying a
[5:30] Speaker 5: small mirror downtown?
[5:31] Speaker 4: What's dangerous? Walk clear across town with a mirror? Through
[5:34] Speaker 4: all that traffic and stuff? Ah, go I, Molly, you
[5:36] Speaker 4: know what a stumble bum I am. Gee whiz, I
[5:39] Speaker 4: trip over a loud pattern in a carpet. Anyway, maybe
[5:43] Speaker 4: the mirror shop isn't open, maybe, I hope.
[5:46] Speaker 5: Well, why shouldn't they be?
[5:47] Speaker 4: I don't know, but maybe they're not. I'll check. Give
[5:48] Speaker 4: me the phone. Here.
[5:49] Speaker 6: Thanks.
[5:50] Speaker 4: Hello, operator. Give me the here's looking at your mirror company.
[5:55] Speaker 4: It's on the corner of 14th and... Oh, is that you, Merch?
[5:57] Speaker 8: Oh, dear.
[6:00] Speaker 4: How's every little thing, Merch?
[6:02] Speaker 8: Say that.
[6:03] Speaker 4: What's that, Merch? Oh, I don't know, Merch. My gosh,
[6:07] Speaker 4: if three terms have been so tough on him, he
[6:09] Speaker 4: certainly won't want a fourth.
[6:10] Speaker 5: McGee! What on earth are you.
[6:12] Speaker 4: It's Mert's kid brother. Looks like he's due for a
[6:14] Speaker 4: fourth term in the third grade. What say, Mert? Oh. Well, thanks, Mert.
[6:25] Speaker 4: Line's busy.
[6:26] Speaker 5: If the line's busy, there must be somebody there. Now,
[6:28] Speaker 5: get your hat and come on.
[6:29] Speaker 4: Oh, but Molly, please. Why does the mirror have to
[6:31] Speaker 4: be re-slivered? Silvered. Yes, but why today? What's all the rush?
[6:34] Speaker 5: Well, it's for the new rumor. Alice Darley. I promised
[6:38] Speaker 5: her a better mirror in her room.
[6:39] Speaker 4: Oh, Alice, darling, darling, darling. That kid is disrupturing the
[6:42] Speaker 4: whole household. Why, every time the phone rings. Hello, she's asleep.
[6:48] Speaker 4: Who is it? Okay, Buzz. See what I mean?
[6:52] Speaker 5: If that kid don't... Now, look, McGee, when you take
[6:54] Speaker 5: the mirror downtown, I'll go with you. I have to
[6:55] Speaker 5: go to the beauty shop.
[6:56] Speaker 4: Molly, why do... Okay. If I gotta, I gotta, I guess.
[7:00] Speaker 4: Where is the mirror?
[7:01] Speaker 5: It's tied up with brown paper in the hall. I
[7:03] Speaker 5: was going to ask you to take the coffee tray, too,
[7:05] Speaker 5: and have some new handles put on it, but as
[7:06] Speaker 5: long as it frightens you so much to carry the mirror, why... Oh, hello, Alice, dear.
[7:11] Speaker 8: Hello, Mrs. McGee and Mr. McGee. I just woke up
[7:14] Speaker 8: and wondered if there were any phone calls for me.
[7:17] Speaker 4: You got a buzz from a guy by the same name, Alice.
[7:21] Speaker 4: Anybody else, Molly?
[7:22] Speaker 5: Well, your father called, Alice, and said that he didn't
[7:25] Speaker 5: think setting diamonds in your factory identification badge was a
[7:28] Speaker 5: very good idea for Christmas. But, uh... What else did
[7:33] Speaker 5: you want?
[7:33] Speaker 9: Oh, thank you ever so much. I do hope I'm
[7:36] Speaker 9: not a terrible old bother to you.
[7:37] Speaker 4: Oh, not at all, kid, not at all. I rather
[7:40] Speaker 4: enjoy leaping up seven or eight times from the breakfast
[7:42] Speaker 4: table to take your phone calls. Gives my toast a
[7:46] Speaker 4: chance to cool off. Oh, Mr.
[7:50] Speaker 8: McGee, you're just an old peach. Just a fuzzy little
[7:53] Speaker 8: wuzzy old peach.
[7:55] Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
[7:58] Speaker 8: Was there any mail for me?
[7:59] Speaker 5: Well, only a few letters.
[8:00] Speaker 4: And a postcard from a guy named Oscar.
[8:02] Speaker 8: Oh, yes, Oscar.
[8:04] Speaker 9: Oscar and I went to riveting school together. He was
[8:07] Speaker 9: voted the boy most likely to.
[8:12] Speaker 5: Most likely to what?
[8:13] Speaker 9: Well, I don't remember really, but Oscar was likely to
[8:15] Speaker 9: do most anything. We broke up when I started going
[8:20] Speaker 9: with Millard.
[8:21] Speaker 4: Mallard?
[8:24] Speaker 8: Yes, but that's all over now, too.
[8:26] Speaker 9: Miller had such a terrible temper that I don't see
[8:29] Speaker 9: why a girl should tie herself up to a fellow
[8:30] Speaker 9: that he's always flying off into simply.
[8:32] Speaker 8: A rage, my dears.
[8:34] Speaker 9: Even though it was more or less my fault that
[8:36] Speaker 9: I left my blowtorch on his chair.
[8:38] Speaker 5: My, you left a blowtorch on the man's chair?
[8:43] Speaker 4: Bet that made him hot under the collar.
[8:47] Speaker 8: Oh, yes, way under.
[8:53] Speaker 9: Oh, uh, uh, did I show you my silver cup
[8:56] Speaker 9: that I won at the plant last week?
[8:58] Speaker 5: Oh, isn't that lovely? How'd you win it, Alice?
[9:01] Speaker 9: Oh, the boys in the welding section voted me the
[9:04] Speaker 9: girl they'd most like to be welded into a self-sealing
[9:06] Speaker 9: gas tank with of 1943. Wasn't that sweet? Carl, he's
[9:12] Speaker 9: a foreman. He presented it to me before he got
[9:14] Speaker 9: transferred to the riveting department.
[9:16] Speaker 4: Hmm. Cupid must have a tough time keeping up with
[9:18] Speaker 4: you with a bow and arrow, sis. What he needs
[9:20] Speaker 4: is a Tommy gun.
[9:22] Speaker 8: Oh, I never see Tommy anymore.
[9:26] Speaker 9: He got fired out of the riveting department on account
[9:28] Speaker 9: of too many bombers were coming off the line with
[9:30] Speaker 9: I Love Alice spelled out in rivets on the wings.
[9:34] Speaker 5: How romantic. You know, the best McGee ever did was
[9:36] Speaker 5: to carve our names in a heart on the bandstand
[9:38] Speaker 5: at the park. And even then he gave himself top billing.
[9:47] Speaker 4: Along with that billing, Mrs. McGee, I was doing some
[9:49] Speaker 4: top cooing, too. Excuse me, Alice, if I don't seem
[9:53] Speaker 4: to be able to keep up with your throbbing heart,
[9:55] Speaker 4: but who's the High Crosley Romeo at the moment?
[9:58] Speaker 8: Oh, I thought you knew, Mr.
[9:59] Speaker 4: McGee.
[9:59] Speaker 8: It's Raymond. He's the architect.
[10:01] Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
[10:02] Speaker 8: Though I don't think I'll be seeing much more of him.
[10:05] Speaker 9: On a cutting, he's an older man, and he keeps
[10:07] Speaker 9: saying he feels like a father to me. And whenever
[10:09] Speaker 9: a man says he feels like a father to a girl,
[10:11] Speaker 9: she better check up and see if the powder room
[10:13] Speaker 9: has an outside exit.
[10:16] Speaker 5: Well, I guess we don't have to worry about you, Alice.
[10:18] Speaker 5: You seem to recognize all the wolf traps.
[10:21] Speaker 9: Yes, but Raymond really is sweet and so sentimental. He
[10:25] Speaker 9: even carved my initials in the date we met on
[10:27] Speaker 9: the cornerstone of every building he builds.
[10:30] Speaker 4: He does?
[10:30] Speaker 8: Yes.
[10:31] Speaker 6: A.D.
[10:32] Speaker 8: 1943. Well, I guess I'll go to bed now. Nighty-night.
[10:37] Speaker 5: Good morning.
[10:38] Speaker 10: Pip-pip.
[10:44] Speaker 2: Jelly Mills and the orchestra play They're Either Too Young
[10:47] Speaker 2: or Too Old.
[10:59] Speaker 6: Thank you.
[11:00] Speaker 5: Thank you.
[11:36] Speaker 4: Thank you. Don't walk so close to me, Molly. You
[12:30] Speaker 4: might nudge me and make me drop this mirror.
[12:32] Speaker 5: Oh, don't be such a scaredy cat. I never realized
[12:34] Speaker 5: before what a superstitious man.
[12:36] Speaker 8: You were, dearie.
[12:37] Speaker 4: I'm not superstitious. I'm just careful.
[12:39] Speaker 5: Don't give me that, McGee. You knock wood so often,
[12:41] Speaker 5: you've got knuckles like a third-rate prize fighter. I never
[12:45] Speaker 5: knew a man who.
[12:45] Speaker 4: Well, hello there, McGee. Hello, Mrs.
[12:47] Speaker 2: McGee.
[12:47] Speaker 4: Hello, Dr.
[12:48] Speaker 6: Gamble.
[12:48] Speaker 4: Now, don't get too close to me, Doc. I got
[12:50] Speaker 4: a mirror here, and I don't want to drop it.
[12:51] Speaker 4: I don't know why a mirror should be so precious
[12:53] Speaker 4: to you, McGee.
[12:54] Speaker 3: I've seen better-looking faces than yours peering in my window
[12:57] Speaker 3: on Halloween.
[12:57] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[12:59] Speaker 5: Well, it isn't that he's vain, Doctor. He's afraid he'll
[13:01] Speaker 5: break it and have seven years' bad luck.
[13:03] Speaker 4: Yeah, I broke one once just seven years ago today, Doc,
[13:05] Speaker 4: and I don't want to start things all over again.
[13:06] Speaker 4: Superstitions like that are pure ignorance, my boy.
[13:09] Speaker 3: No wonder to me you don't carry the left hind
[13:11] Speaker 3: foot of a graveyard rabbit.
[13:14] Speaker 8: What's the matter?
[13:15] Speaker 5: He does.
[13:18] Speaker 4: Well, my gosh, I can't help it if I'm cynical
[13:20] Speaker 4: about things. I got no illusions. I had some great
[13:24] Speaker 4: sorrows in my life, starting when I was nine years old.
[13:27] Speaker 4: What terrible grief did you have at the age of nine,
[13:30] Speaker 4: if you can bear to tell it? Well, it was terrible, doctor.
[13:34] Speaker 4: I worked enslaved, selling Larkin products from door to door.
[13:39] Speaker 4: Mowing lawns and carrying papers and taking care of horses
[13:42] Speaker 4: until I had enough to buy an English bulldog. And
[13:45] Speaker 4: after I got him, you know what broke my heart?
[13:47] Speaker 7: What?
[13:48] Speaker 4: He couldn't speak a word of English. You just went
[13:52] Speaker 4: to the wrong pet shop, McGee.
[13:54] Speaker 3: I had an Irish setter once that barked with a brogue.
[13:57] Speaker 4: Don't worry. Don't worry about a broken mirror bringing you
[14:00] Speaker 4: bad luck.
[14:01] Speaker 3: If you believe that, you got the mental rating of
[14:03] Speaker 3: an underprivileged hottentot.
[14:05] Speaker 4: Oh, is that so? Yes. Well, just because you apple-polished
[14:08] Speaker 4: your way through a corn-belt cow college and learned to
[14:11] Speaker 4: diagnose a broken leg, don't mean you're any giant intellect yourself,
[14:14] Speaker 4: you fine-feathered capsule collector.
[14:16] Speaker 6: Now, boy.
[14:17] Speaker 4: Why, you superstitious little peasant, I'll have you know I
[14:20] Speaker 4: graduated from one of the finest universities in the world,
[14:22] Speaker 4: magna cum laude. Magna cum laude. There isn't any college
[14:27] Speaker 4: by that name, and you know it. You big fat phony.
[14:32] Speaker 5: Now listen, dearie. Magna Cum Laude isn't the name of
[14:36] Speaker 5: a school. It's Latin and means the doctor graduated with
[14:39] Speaker 5: the highest honors.
[14:40] Speaker 4: A likely story. The only way that guy could get
[14:43] Speaker 4: a sheepskin would be to steal a sheep and skin
[14:45] Speaker 4: it himself. Well, at least I learned to distinguish a
[14:52] Speaker 4: sheep from a goat, my illiterate little friend. So let's
[14:55] Speaker 4: have lunch on a can of beans one of these days.
[14:57] Speaker 4: I'll eat the beans and you eat the can. Why,
[15:08] Speaker 4: that pompous old bone-bender. I got a good notion of.
[15:11] Speaker 5: Oh, now, stop it, McGee. I don't know why you
[15:13] Speaker 5: always have to fight with everybody. Didn't you ever have
[15:16] Speaker 5: a friend you got along with?
[15:17] Speaker 4: Sure I did. Old Fred Nittany from Starved Rock, Illinois.
[15:21] Speaker 4: Me and Fred were the best of pals. What was
[15:24] Speaker 4: mine was Fred's, and what was Fred's was mine. Only
[15:26] Speaker 4: he never had anything I wanted. I mind one time
[15:30] Speaker 4: in Shingle House, Pennsylvania.
[15:31] Speaker 9: Oh, come on, McGee.
[15:31] Speaker 5: Here's our chance to get across the street. Harley, any
[15:34] Speaker 5: traffic now?
[15:34] Speaker 4: Hurry up.
[15:35] Speaker 5: Walk a little faster. The light will change before we
[15:37] Speaker 5: get across.
[15:37] Speaker 4: I'm not hurrying for anybody today, baby. And if anybody.
[15:39] Speaker 3: Oh, oh, oh.
[15:40] Speaker 5: Come on, McGee.
[15:42] Speaker 4: What's the matter? I got my foot caught in the
[15:43] Speaker 4: car track.
[15:45] Speaker 6: Oh, dear. Wiggle your foot, dearie.
[15:47] Speaker 5: Wiggle your foot.
[15:48] Speaker 4: I am wiggling my foot.
[15:49] Speaker 5: Practically scratching my heel with my toes.
[15:53] Speaker 10: Oh, my gosh.
[15:55] Speaker 5: Oh, drive around us, you big lugans. Can't you see
[15:57] Speaker 5: the man's stuck? Why don't you take your shoe off, dearie?
[16:02] Speaker 4: I can't. I was so afraid I'd trip over my shoelaces.
[16:05] Speaker 4: I tied them in a tight knot before I left home.
[16:07] Speaker 4: It's a fine state of how you do. Oh, Stand
[16:10] Speaker 4: in front of me, Molly, so if a car hits us,
[16:11] Speaker 4: it won't break the mirror.
[16:12] Speaker 5: This is the first time I ever ran interference for
[16:16] Speaker 5: a looking glass.
[16:18] Speaker 6: Are you getting loose, dearie?
[16:19] Speaker 4: I can't tell. My foot's going to sleep. Is there
[16:21] Speaker 4: a streetcar coming?
[16:22] Speaker 5: No, nothing but trucks and cars and motorcycles and moving
[16:25] Speaker 5: vans and trivial things like that.
[16:27] Speaker 7: Oh, dear.
[16:28] Speaker 2: Oh, dear.
[16:28] Speaker 4: Oh, fight down, will you? This is a publicity stunt.
[16:32] Speaker 5: Try and wiggle loose, McGee.
[16:33] Speaker 6: Try.
[16:34] Speaker 4: Oh, there goes Mr.
[16:35] Speaker 6: Wilcox.
[16:35] Speaker 5: Maybe he can help us.
[16:36] Speaker 4: Yoo-hoo, Mr. Wilcox. Hey, Junior, come here a minute. Hello, Molly. Hello, pal.
[16:42] Speaker 7: What are you doing?
[16:43] Speaker 5: Well, believe it or not, we're waiting for a streetcar
[16:46] Speaker 5: to run over McGee.
[16:49] Speaker 4: Don't stand there like a mug, Junior. Do something. I
[16:51] Speaker 4: got my foot caught in the car track. Been wiggling it?
[16:54] Speaker 5: Why, certainly he's been wiggling it. He's invented some steps
[16:57] Speaker 5: that would make Fred Astaire cry on his buttermilk.
[17:01] Speaker 2: Well, that's what he shouldn't do. Increases the circulation and
[17:03] Speaker 2: makes the foot swell. Take it easy a few minutes, pal.
[17:05] Speaker 2: It'll come loose.
[17:06] Speaker 4: What do you mean, take it easy? Suppose a streetcar
[17:08] Speaker 4: comes along. You look pretty foolish trying to scrape up
[17:11] Speaker 4: an acquaintance that you've known for nine years.
[17:14] Speaker 5: Don't talk like that, darling. And do what Mr. Wilcox says.
[17:17] Speaker 5: Stop jerking your foot now.
[17:18] Speaker 2: Hey, have we known each other for nine years, pal? Gee,
[17:21] Speaker 2: time certainly flies, doesn't it? Been a lot of water
[17:24] Speaker 2: under the bridge and blowcoat over the linoleum and all
[17:26] Speaker 2: that time, hasn't it?
[17:28] Speaker 4: Never mind the tender reminiscences, Wilcox. Keep your eye peeled
[17:31] Speaker 4: for a streetcar. And, Molly, if one comes, grab this
[17:33] Speaker 4: mirror and run like a rabbit. Okay, I'll do it.
[17:35] Speaker 2: Hey, just imagine us being together for nine years.
[17:38] Speaker 5: Looks like we'd be standing here in the street for
[17:40] Speaker 5: the next nine, too.
[17:43] Speaker 2: Nine years of telling people how Johnson's self-polishing glow coat
[17:47] Speaker 2: preserves and beautifies linoleum surfaces. Imagine that.
[17:50] Speaker 4: Look, Junior, here I am up to my hips in
[17:52] Speaker 4: car tracks, and you're.
[17:53] Speaker 2: Nine years of telling the public about immaculate housekeeping.
[17:57] Speaker 4: Why, think.
[17:58] Speaker 2: Just think of the thousands, tens of thousands of housewives
[18:00] Speaker 2: who have learned that glow coat brings out the original
[18:03] Speaker 2: pattern and luster of linoleum.
[18:04] Speaker 4: My ankle's all swollen up now.
[18:07] Speaker 2: How it makes it so easy to wipe spots and
[18:08] Speaker 2: spatters off with a damp cloth.
[18:10] Speaker 5: Try sliding your foot along the track, McGee. If we're lucky,
[18:12] Speaker 5: we'll wind up at the car barn.
[18:23] Speaker 4: Won't budge an inch. I've tried every line.
[18:24] Speaker 2: I can't get over it, pal. Nine years of telling
[18:27] Speaker 2: women how easy Johnson's self-polishing gloco is to apply.
[18:30] Speaker 4: The swelling's way up my leg now.
[18:33] Speaker 2: Well, you just pour out a few drops and spread
[18:35] Speaker 2: it around. Wait 20 minutes for it to dry, and presto!
[18:38] Speaker 4: I feel it way over in the other leg.
[18:41] Speaker 2: A floor of sparkling beauty, protected against dirt and dampness.
[18:45] Speaker 2: Try to pull it loose now, Fibber.
[18:47] Speaker 4: Oh, are you back from Racine?
[18:50] Speaker 5: Listen, do what he says, McGee. Pull hard now.
[18:53] Speaker 7: Ah, it's out.
[18:55] Speaker 4: Okay, now, one on each side of me. I gotta
[18:57] Speaker 4: get to the other curb safe. Oh, dear.
[19:01] Speaker 5: Thank goodness we made it.
[19:03] Speaker 4: Okay now, pal? Yeah, thanks, Junior. Oh, I must say,
[19:05] Speaker 4: you were pretty callous about me getting run over by
[19:08] Speaker 4: a streetcar. It was only my good luck that one
[19:10] Speaker 4: didn't come along.
[19:11] Speaker 2: Your good luck, plus the fact that this car line
[19:13] Speaker 2: was abandoned four years ago. Well, I'll see you later, folks.
[19:17] Speaker 7: Good mistakes.
[19:24] Speaker 5: Why didn't he tell us that in the first place, McGee?
[19:26] Speaker 4: You know darn well why he didn't. He's going to
[19:28] Speaker 4: get that pitch in there no matter who gets mangled. Well,
[19:32] Speaker 4: let's get going. I've got to get back.
[19:33] Speaker 5: Where is the here's looking at your mirror shop, McGee?
[19:35] Speaker 4: 14th and Oak, right across from... Oh, my gosh.
[19:38] Speaker 2: Look who's here.
[19:39] Speaker 6: Hi, mister.
[19:40] Speaker 4: Hi, sis. I haven't got time to stop and punch
[19:41] Speaker 4: the bag with you now. I've got to get this
[19:43] Speaker 4: mirror down to the mirror shop.
[19:43] Speaker 5: Yes, and it's almost closing time too, dear.
[19:45] Speaker 4: Besides, what are you doing wandering around the streets like this, sis?
[19:48] Speaker 6: Well, I've been to the library.
[19:49] Speaker 5: Oh.
[19:50] Speaker 6: I just took a book back, and gee, was it
[19:52] Speaker 6: ever a dandy one, I betcha.
[19:55] Speaker 4: You quite a reader, sis?
[19:56] Speaker 6: Sure I am, I betcha. I like love stories best, though,
[20:00] Speaker 6: I guess.
[20:01] Speaker 4: Love stories?
[20:01] Speaker 5: At your age?
[20:03] Speaker 4: Uh, what particular romance has stimulated your eager little interest
[20:05] Speaker 4: of recent dates, sis?
[20:07] Speaker 1: Well, I.
[20:09] Speaker 2: Hmm?
[20:10] Speaker 4: I says, what kiss and tell opera has knocked you
[20:12] Speaker 4: for a loop lately?
[20:13] Speaker 6: Oh, what love story you mean, huh? Well, I guess
[20:16] Speaker 6: Goldilocks and the Three Bears, I guess.
[20:18] Speaker 4: You call that a love story?
[20:19] Speaker 8: Sure.
[20:21] Speaker 6: Boy, did that kid love soup. First she ate the
[20:28] Speaker 6: Papa Bear soup, and then she ate the Mama Bear soup.
[20:30] Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes.
[20:31] Speaker 5: Yeah, we know the story, dear. And if you'll excuse me,
[20:33] Speaker 5: we've got to be going.
[20:34] Speaker 4: Yeah, we've got to take this mirror down.
[20:36] Speaker 6: Well, I've got to be going, too, I guess.
[20:38] Speaker 9: Oh.
[20:39] Speaker 6: Mama says if I get home early, I can help
[20:41] Speaker 6: cook the dinner.
[20:43] Speaker 4: You help cook dinner?
[20:44] Speaker 5: You mean she lets a child your age fuss around
[20:46] Speaker 5: the stove?
[20:46] Speaker 4: Why, that's not a very good thing to do. Sure.
[20:48] Speaker 6: I'm going to be a peachy cook when I grow up, too,
[20:51] Speaker 6: I bet you.
[20:51] Speaker 4: Uh-huh.
[20:52] Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
[20:53] Speaker 6: I made a dandy recipe for chicken and.
[20:55] Speaker 5: Noodles, Juan.
[20:56] Speaker 4: You did, huh? Hmm? I says you did.
[20:58] Speaker 6: I know it. I took a big camisole.
[21:05] Speaker 4: Casserole. Hmm? Skip it.
[21:07] Speaker 6: You can't. A frying pan isn't big enough.
[21:20] Speaker 6: .
[21:21] Speaker 4: Well, how'd it turn out?
[21:24] Speaker 6: I don't know, mister. By that time it was piled
[21:26] Speaker 6: so high I couldn't get it in the oven.
[21:40] Speaker 2: The King's Men and the Infantry Song What do you
[21:44] Speaker 2: do in the infantry?
[21:45] Speaker 4: You march, you march, you march.
[21:47] Speaker 10: What do you do when your pack has got your
[21:49] Speaker 10: back as stiff as starch? There's many a fall in
[21:51] Speaker 10: the cavalry, but never a fall in arch.
[21:54] Speaker 4: And what do you do in the infantry? You march,
[21:56] Speaker 4: you march, you march. What do you do in the infantry?
[22:00] Speaker 4: You hike, you hike, you hike. What do you do
[22:02] Speaker 4: in the infantry?
[22:03] Speaker 10: You left and right a bike.
[22:05] Speaker 4: The son of a gun in a single core is
[22:07] Speaker 4: traveling on a bike.
[22:09] Speaker 10: And what do you do in the infantry?
[22:11] Speaker 4: You hike, you hike, you hike. The hard way, the
[22:15] Speaker 4: hard way.
[22:17] Speaker 10: Sweat till you get there the hard way.
[22:20] Speaker 4: What do you do in the infantry?
[22:22] Speaker 10: You win, you win, you win.
[22:24] Speaker 4: What do you do in the infantry? You move into Berlin.
[22:27] Speaker 4: The rest of the army is riding, riding through a
[22:30] Speaker 4: triumphal march. And what do you do in the infantry?
[22:33] Speaker 4: You march. Two, three, four.
[22:35] Speaker 8: One, two, three, four.
[22:36] Speaker 2: March.
[22:41] Speaker 4: What do you do in the infantry, brother?
[22:42] Speaker 10: You make a lot of tracks Climbing or waiting, you're
[22:45] Speaker 10: always parading You never can relax You're always starting for
[22:49] Speaker 10: somewhere else And nobody knows where you're starting for Left
[22:52] Speaker 10: about pace, right about pace What the hell are we
[22:55] Speaker 10: marching for? What do you do in the infantry? You win,
[22:58] Speaker 10: you win, you win What do you do in the infantry?
[23:01] Speaker 4: You move into Berlin The rest of the army is riding,
[23:04] Speaker 4: riding to a triumphal march.
[23:06] Speaker 10: What do you.
[23:07] Speaker 6: Do in the infantry, brother?
[23:08] Speaker 4: You keep right on doing.
[23:09] Speaker 10: The same as you're doing.
[23:10] Speaker 5: You march.
[23:11] Speaker 2: Two, three, four.
[23:12] Speaker 4: March. Two, three, four. You march, march, march, march, march.
[23:19] Speaker 2: Hooray!
[23:19] Speaker 4: Hooray!
[23:20] Speaker 2: Hooray! Hooray!
[23:22] Speaker 9: Hooray!
[23:23] Speaker 5: Hooray!
[23:24] Speaker 4: Hooray!
[23:36] Speaker 5: Take it easy, McGee. You don't have to walk so fast.
[23:38] Speaker 4: Hikey, hikey, hikey. I got to get this mirror to
[23:40] Speaker 4: that mirror shop and get rid of it. We only
[23:42] Speaker 4: got a block to go, but anything can happen in
[23:44] Speaker 4: a block.
[23:44] Speaker 5: Oh, for goodness sakes. I never knew anyone to take
[23:46] Speaker 5: on so about breaking a mirror.
[23:47] Speaker 4: Well, seven years more of bad luck is no joke
[23:49] Speaker 4: at my age. I'm no kid anymore, you know.
[23:52] Speaker 5: Well, today you've been acting more juvenile than ever. Look out, McGee.
[23:56] Speaker 4: It's all gone to butt. Why don't you look for your.
[23:58] Speaker 5: Oh, McGee, it's Uncle Dennis. Hello, Uncle Dennis.
[24:01] Speaker 7: Well, hello there, Molly McWhistler and Fibber. How are you, lad?
[24:05] Speaker 4: A lot you care. Almost knocked me down, and me
[24:07] Speaker 4: carrying a mirror. I thought you went out to look
[24:10] Speaker 4: for a job. Judging from your happy expression, you didn't
[24:12] Speaker 4: find one.
[24:13] Speaker 7: Well, I almost got one at the shipyard, but they
[24:17] Speaker 7: insulted me.
[24:18] Speaker 5: Heavenly days. Did they really, Uncle Dennis?
[24:20] Speaker 7: They did and did. Or they didn't did. They asked
[24:23] Speaker 7: me what kind of work I wanted. I says anything
[24:25] Speaker 7: I says, just so as an honest man could pick
[24:27] Speaker 7: up a couple of bucks. They offered me a job
[24:30] Speaker 7: blowing the big whistle at noon and.
[24:32] Speaker 4: At 5 o'clock. What's so insulting about that?
[24:34] Speaker 7: And how would I know when it was noon and
[24:35] Speaker 7: when it was 5 o'clock?
[24:37] Speaker 5: Well, you'd merely have to watch the clock.
[24:39] Speaker 7: Oh, there you are.
[24:40] Speaker 4: When I work, I never watch the clock.
[24:42] Speaker 7: And if I never watched the clock, I wouldn't know
[24:43] Speaker 7: when to blow the whistle. So what would happen? They'd
[24:45] Speaker 7: fire me, so I'd beat.
[24:46] Speaker 3: Them to it.
[24:46] Speaker 7: I wouldn't take the job.
[24:48] Speaker 4: The trouble with you, Unc, is you're allergic to work.
[24:51] Speaker 4: To you, perspiration is merely what rolls down the side
[24:54] Speaker 4: of a glass of ice water.
[24:55] Speaker 7: Boy, you wouldn't dare say that if I didn't have
[24:58] Speaker 7: my hands in my pocket.
[24:59] Speaker 4: Well, take them out of your pockets.
[25:01] Speaker 8: Can't.
[25:01] Speaker 7: My suspenders are busted.
[25:03] Speaker 5: Well, I'm sorry you didn't have any luck today, Uncle Dennis,
[25:06] Speaker 5: but something will turn up.
[25:07] Speaker 4: Lots of things will turn up, including the noses of
[25:09] Speaker 4: every employment agency in town.
[25:11] Speaker 7: Well, I'll find something. All I want to do is
[25:14] Speaker 7: pick up a couple of bucks and... It ain't that
[25:18] Speaker 7: I'm not willing to start at the bottom, because I'm not.
[25:22] Speaker 7: I'm the executive type. I like to take three hours
[25:25] Speaker 7: for lunch, and how can you eat out of a
[25:27] Speaker 7: lunch basket for three hours? I couldn't carry that big
[25:30] Speaker 7: a bucket, and you know it. You know I got
[25:33] Speaker 7: a bad back.
[25:33] Speaker 4: Yeah, you sprained your back putting up front. Hang on,
[25:38] Speaker 4: you're caught, McKay. What for?
[25:40] Speaker 7: I'd like to try it on. Maybe if I was
[25:44] Speaker 7: better dressed, I could get a job and pick up
[25:46] Speaker 7: a couple of bucks.
[25:46] Speaker 4: Well, never mind.
[25:48] Speaker 7: I like mine better. Well, excuse me now. I've got
[25:51] Speaker 7: to go see the park superintendent. I hear they need
[25:53] Speaker 7: somebody to feed the ducks.
[25:55] Speaker 5: Yeah, but Uncle Dennis, winter's almost here and the ducks
[25:57] Speaker 5: will go south.
[25:58] Speaker 4: Oh, that's all right. I'm free to travel. I'll see
[26:01] Speaker 4: you later.
[26:09] Speaker 5: Poor Uncle Dennis.
[26:10] Speaker 4: Poor Uncle Dennis, my clavicle. That mug ought to get
[26:13] Speaker 4: a job in a Turkish bath. Give him a chance
[26:15] Speaker 4: to sponge off somebody besides his relatives.
[26:18] Speaker 5: Listen, he's not lazy, McGee. Doesn't he offer to help
[26:20] Speaker 5: me with the dishes almost every night?
[26:22] Speaker 4: Sure, every night since we've been using paper plates. Hey,
[26:24] Speaker 4: here's the mirror shop. Now I can get rid of
[26:26] Speaker 4: this seven-year hoodoo. Open the door for me, will you, Molly?
[26:28] Speaker 5: Okay, dearie.
[26:30] Speaker 6: Oh.
[26:30] Speaker 5: Oh, my goodness, McGee, if you're so fearful of one mirror,
[26:33] Speaker 5: you ought to own a place like this. Look, there's
[26:35] Speaker 5: dozens of them.
[26:36] Speaker 4: Yeah, I could see myself working in here.
[26:38] Speaker 5: Yeah, you certainly could. Anywhere you look. What could I
[26:43] Speaker 5: do for you?
[26:43] Speaker 4: Here's a mirror for you to fix for us, sis.
[26:45] Speaker 4: We need to have it re-slivered.
[26:46] Speaker 5: Re-silvered.
[26:46] Speaker 9: Yeah.
[26:47] Speaker 4: Here, take it. Oh, boy, what a relief. Sure glad
[26:51] Speaker 4: to get that off my hands.
[26:52] Speaker 5: When can we get it back, miss?
[26:53] Speaker 8: Just a moment till I unwrap it, madam, and see
[26:55] Speaker 8: what shape it's in.
[26:56] Speaker 4: Rectangular shape, sis. It's about two feet long.
[26:58] Speaker 8: I mean, what condition, sir?
[27:00] Speaker 6: Oh.
[27:01] Speaker 8: You want this re-silvered?
[27:03] Speaker 5: Haven't you made some mistake? Mistake?
[27:05] Speaker 3: No, I don't.
[27:06] Speaker 5: Why, McGee, this isn't the mirror.
[27:08] Speaker 10: What?
[27:09] Speaker 5: This is the coffee tray. You picked up the wrong
[27:11] Speaker 5: package in the hall.
[27:13] Speaker 4: You mean I risked my life and limb and worried myself?
[27:17] Speaker 4: You mean I wasn't... Oh, my gosh.
[27:20] Speaker 7: Oh, my gosh.
[27:21] Speaker 4: Let me lean against something.
[27:22] Speaker 7: No, no, no.
[27:22] Speaker 4: Don't lean against that.
[27:23] Speaker 3: Oh, McGee.
[27:25] Speaker 8: Oh.
[27:30] Speaker 2: How many did I bust?
[27:31] Speaker 7: Nine.
[27:31] Speaker 1: Nine mirrors.
[27:41] Speaker 4: Seven times nine is 63. 63 years of bad luck. Oh, boy,
[27:48] Speaker 4: if that ain't rich.
[27:50] Speaker 8: I fail to see anything amusing in the situation, sir.
[27:52] Speaker 5: Yeah, what's so funny, McGee? 63 years of bad luck.
[27:57] Speaker 4: It's impossible.
[27:58] Speaker 8: I won't even live that long.
[28:18] Speaker 2: You know, it's no wonder poets and songwriters go a
[28:20] Speaker 2: little dappy over the warm, rich colors of October foliage.
[28:23] Speaker 2: Wouldn't it be nice if we could preserve these beautiful
[28:26] Speaker 2: colors over the winter? Well, you can capture some of
[28:28] Speaker 2: that beauty if you'll keep your linoleum floors protected regularly
[28:31] Speaker 2: with Johnson's Glow Coat. I've seen old pieces of linoleum
[28:35] Speaker 2: that had lost their brightness brought back to life with
[28:37] Speaker 2: Glow Coat. And lots of other kitchen floors that look
[28:40] Speaker 2: just as fresh and new today as the day they
[28:42] Speaker 2: were put down. When you protect your linoleum with Glowcoat,
[28:45] Speaker 2: you not only keep the colors bright, you make the
[28:48] Speaker 2: linoleum last six to ten times longer. And you save
[28:51] Speaker 2: yourself hours of work in the bargain because Glowcoat is
[28:54] Speaker 2: so easy to use. Its self-polishing needs no rubbing or buffing.
[28:58] Speaker 2: You simply apply and let dry. If you have any
[29:01] Speaker 2: floors made of asphalt tile or rubber tile, you'll find
[29:04] Speaker 2: Johnson's Glowcoat is the ideal floor polish for them, too.
[29:17] Speaker 5: Well, McGee, Uncle Dennis just came home, and you know what?
[29:20] Speaker 5: He missed landing a job by five minutes.
[29:23] Speaker 4: Well, as the fireman said when he looked at the
[29:24] Speaker 4: little iron ladder, that's a very narrow escape. What kind
[29:28] Speaker 4: of a job was it?
[29:29] Speaker 5: Department store Santa Claus, but he said it's just as well.
[29:32] Speaker 4: Why?
[29:32] Speaker 5: He said he didn't have the stomach for it.
[29:35] Speaker 4: He may not have the stomach, but he's got plenty of... McGee. Oh.
[29:38] Speaker 4: Good night, Uncle.
[29:40] Speaker 7: All.
[29:40] Speaker 1: This is Harlow Wilcox.
[29:47] Speaker 10: Speaking for the makers of Johnson.
[29:53] Speaker 3: Join us again next week at.
[29:54] Speaker 8: The same time.
[29:55] Speaker 2: Good night. This program came to you from Hollywood. This
[29:58] Speaker 2: is the National Broadcasting Company.
[30:05] Speaker 4: This is Chicago WMAQ. This is Chicago WMAQ.
[30:12] Speaker 1: Our time in Wistful Vista ends with Fibber McGee and Molly,
[30:15] Speaker 1: Bad Luck with Mirrors.
[30:17] Speaker 2: Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for more classic broadcasts.

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