# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Seventh War Bond Drive" (Old Time Radio, 1945)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 9 Sep 2026, 31 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75024966/fd1c98d501920220_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Seventh War Bond Drive,” episode 441 of Fibber McGee and Molly, originally broadcast on NBC on May 22, 1945. Starring Jim and Marian Jordan as Fibber and Molly McGee, this wartime episode was written by Phil Leslie and sponsored by Johnson’s Wax. As the U.S. Treasury’s Seventh War Loan Drive gets underway, Fibber takes on the ambitious job of preparing a musical arrangement for a war-bond rally. The familiar Wistful Vista comedy turns his civic-minded assignment into a lively home-front radio diversion. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:41 Original Broadcast 30:45 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Phil Leslie wrote this May 22, 1945 installment of Fibber, McGee,
[0:04] Speaker 1: and Mollie with Jim Jordan and Marion Jordan.
[0:07] Speaker 2: As Fibber and Mollie McGee.
[0:09] Speaker 1: This is episode 441, heard on NBC during the United
[0:14] Speaker 1: States Treasury's seventh.
[0:15] Speaker 2: War loan drive, which had opened eight days.
[0:18] Speaker 1: Earlier with a $ 14 billion goal. Fibber is assigned to
[0:23] Speaker 1: prepare a musical arrangement for a war loan rally with
[0:26] Speaker 1: Molly and the familiar Wistful Vista Company close at hand.
[0:30] Speaker 1: Marlin Hurt and announcer Harlow Wilcox are also heard with
[0:35] Speaker 1: Johnson's Wax as sponsor. And now we return to the
[0:39] Speaker 1: original broadcast. The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly.
[0:44] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[0:52] Speaker 1: The makers of Johnson Wax products for home and industry
[0:54] Speaker 1: present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and
[0:57] Speaker 1: Phil Leslie, with music by the King's Men and Billy
[1:00] Speaker 1: Mills Orchestra. Let's talk about your.
[1:26] Speaker 2: Automobile for a minute.
[1:27] Speaker 1: I'll admit that as a piece of transportation, it's only
[1:30] Speaker 1: as good as the motor and the tires. And I
[1:32] Speaker 1: think you'll admit that as a thing of beauty, it's
[1:35] Speaker 1: only as good as the paint job. But that's something
[1:37] Speaker 1: you do have control over. You can keep the finish
[1:40] Speaker 1: of your car clean and sparkling at small cost and
[1:43] Speaker 1: with very little work, with the occasional use of Johnson's
[1:46] Speaker 1: Car New. This popular auto polish really does two jobs
[1:49] Speaker 1: at the same time. It cleans and polishes with one application. Carnu,
[1:54] Speaker 1: please remember, is a liquid which dries on application to
[1:57] Speaker 1: a white powder. When you wipe off this powder, the
[2:00] Speaker 1: dirt and grime and dullness come off with it, leaving
[2:02] Speaker 1: a shining, beautiful finish that you'd almost forgotten. Carnu does
[2:06] Speaker 1: an amazing cleaning job without injuring the finish. And it's
[2:10] Speaker 1: so easy to use, you'll gladly do the job yourself.
[2:13] Speaker 1: Why not give your car a spring house cleaning this
[2:15] Speaker 1: week with the old, reliable, unchanged Johnson's Car New, spelled C-A-R-N-U.
[2:21] Speaker 1: © BF-WATCH TV 2021 There's a big band concert and
[2:45] Speaker 1: bond rally scheduled at the Wistful Vista Auditorium tonight. And
[2:49] Speaker 1: when you see who's muscled in as director of the
[2:52] Speaker 1: whole thing, you can understand the derivation of the word auditorium.
[2:57] Speaker 2: From Audie, meaning listen, and Toro, meaning bull. Yes, it's himself,
[3:05] Speaker 2: of Fibber McGee and Molly.
[3:06] Speaker 4: Thank you.
[3:14] Speaker 5: Hey, Charlie, have the boys move those borders back and
[3:17] Speaker 5: lower the teaser a little. Get some new bulbs for
[3:19] Speaker 5: the babies and drape some bunning over the apron. Okay, Chief.
[3:23] Speaker 5: Good thing there's somebody in this town who knows a
[3:24] Speaker 5: stage brace from an usher's flashlight.
[3:26] Speaker 6: Say, I thought Mrs. Carstairs was in charge of this thing.
[3:29] Speaker 7: Oh, sure, sure.
[3:30] Speaker 5: Let her have her picture in the society section. But
[3:33] Speaker 5: you and I know who's the brains behind this thing,
[3:35] Speaker 5: don't we?
[3:36] Speaker 2: Certainly.
[3:37] Speaker 6: Henry Morgenthau, Jr. Or Henry Morgenthau, Jr.
[3:44] Speaker 4: I had quite a.
[3:44] Speaker 5: Tussle getting this thing out of Carstairs' hands, but I
[3:47] Speaker 5: made it.
[3:47] Speaker 4: Hey, Charlie.
[3:48] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[3:49] Speaker 5: Have Eddie hit the boards with them wand sheets and
[3:51] Speaker 5: check the marquee for deads. I want six chairs and
[3:54] Speaker 5: a podium for center stage and the popcorn machine moved
[3:57] Speaker 5: into the manager's office.
[3:58] Speaker 2: Right?
[3:59] Speaker 6: I don't know, but I'll do it. Why put the
[4:01] Speaker 6: popcorn machine in the manager's office, McGee?
[4:03] Speaker 5: Because that's where I'm going to headquarter tonight. This is
[4:07] Speaker 5: going to be one time I come to this joint
[4:09] Speaker 5: where they didn't run out of popcorn before I got mine.
[4:12] Speaker 6: Was Mrs. Carstairs annoyed when you moved in on the arrangements, dearie?
[4:15] Speaker 2: Annoyed?
[4:16] Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
[4:18] Speaker 5: She blew out like a four-time retread. My gosh, somebody
[4:22] Speaker 5: had to be in charge that knows what... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
[4:25] Speaker 5: here she comes. Old Lady Carstairs. Where do you suppose
[4:29] Speaker 5: she learned.
[4:29] Speaker 4: To walk like that?
[4:31] Speaker 5: Like a fat pigeon on a hot pavement.
[4:34] Speaker 6: Now, McGee. McGee, after all... Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Carster?
[4:40] Speaker 6: So nice to see you.
[4:41] Speaker 8: How do you do, Mrs.
[4:42] Speaker 9: McGee?
[4:42] Speaker 5: Hi, Carster. Well, you might as well try it home
[4:45] Speaker 5: and dunk the frame in a bubble bath, kiddo. I
[4:47] Speaker 5: got everything under control. Mr.
[4:49] Speaker 9: McGee, I think the time has come for someone to
[4:52] Speaker 9: tell you a few truths about yourself.
[4:54] Speaker 5: Oh, save the compliments till after the show, Carster. I
[4:58] Speaker 5: know how you feel, and I appreciate it. You can't
[5:00] Speaker 5: help it if you don't know an amber spot from
[5:02] Speaker 5: a center door fancy.
[5:04] Speaker 6: Himself here was in vaudeville, Mrs. Carstairs. And he learned
[5:07] Speaker 6: the theater business inside and out. Sometimes both on the
[5:10] Speaker 6: same day. This is not vaudeville, Mrs.
[5:15] Speaker 2: McGee.
[5:16] Speaker 9: This is Wistful Vista's golden opportunity to show the world
[5:19] Speaker 9: its interest in and support of the Seventh War loan.
[5:24] Speaker 6: Personally, I feel that Mr.
[5:25] Speaker 9: McGee has lowered the proceedings to the undignified level.
[5:28] Speaker 6: Of a flea circus.
[5:30] Speaker 5: Well, better put on too many fleas than too much dog, Karstie.
[5:35] Speaker 5: When people begin.
[5:36] Speaker 4: Oh, excuse me.
[5:37] Speaker 5: You want to see me, Charlie?
[5:38] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[5:39] Speaker 5: Look, Chief, you want I should check with the juicer
[5:41] Speaker 5: for cues on the oleo? On the oleo? You mean
[5:43] Speaker 5: for the popcorn?
[5:45] Speaker 2: Yeah, sure.
[5:45] Speaker 5: As long as we can't get butter, oleo's just about.
[5:48] Speaker 6: No, no, no.
[5:52] Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, sure.
[5:54] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[5:55] Speaker 5: Oh, sure. Yeah, check with the juice on that. Yeah.
[5:59] Speaker 2: Right.
[5:59] Speaker 5: And may I ask a question, boss? What is it, bud?
[6:03] Speaker 5: You ever sit on a big boulder at noon on
[6:05] Speaker 5: a hot day? Why, sure, sure.
[6:07] Speaker 2: I guess I did.
[6:09] Speaker 5: Well, what's that thing between your eyes and your mouth? Well,
[6:13] Speaker 5: that's my nose. What do you think it was?
[6:15] Speaker 9: My good man, what is the purpose of these ridiculous questions?
[6:19] Speaker 5: We just had an argument backstage, ma'am. The boys delegated
[6:23] Speaker 5: me to see if this guy knew his nose from
[6:25] Speaker 5: a hot rock. Thanks. Ah, great bunch of boys, them stagehands.
[6:35] Speaker 5: Always kidding, dropping sandbags and stuff. Now then, when I
[6:39] Speaker 5: make the big speech of the evening, Carstie... Please, Mr.
[6:42] Speaker 1: McGee.
[6:43] Speaker 9: I specifically asked the mayor himself to make the principal
[6:46] Speaker 9: address of the evening.
[6:47] Speaker 5: Sure, but I canceled him out, Carstie. I told him
[6:49] Speaker 5: to stay home. That guy talks like he had a
[6:52] Speaker 5: mouth full of coat hangers. I'll make the big speech myself,
[6:56] Speaker 5: with inflections.
[6:56] Speaker 6: I'm sure if you buy a big enough bond, Mrs.
[6:58] Speaker 10: Carstairs, McGee can arrange to have you sit on the
[7:00] Speaker 10: stage and hear it up real close.
[7:02] Speaker 6: My dear, Mr.
[7:04] Speaker 9: Carstairs and I have each purchased $ 5, 000 worth.
[7:07] Speaker 2: Of extra bonds. Oh, swell.
[7:09] Speaker 5: Well, that entitles you.
[7:10] Speaker 6: To stay home, I'm sure.
[7:12] Speaker 9: Good day, Mrs.
[7:13] Speaker 2: McGee.
[7:13] Speaker 6: Good day, Mrs. Carstairs. You know, I think she's a
[7:17] Speaker 6: little upset about this, dearie.
[7:19] Speaker 1: Ah, poof.
[7:21] Speaker 5: All that big goldfish knows about the theater, you could
[7:23] Speaker 5: pack away in a dab of lint. She's so dumb,
[7:28] Speaker 5: she thinks the little theater movement is a bump.
[7:36] Speaker 6: Now, just to say, McGee, she can.
[7:41] Speaker 4: That sounds like the orchestra.
[7:43] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[7:43] Speaker 5: I better check their music for tonight.
[7:45] Speaker 6: Oh, now, listen. Maybe you better stay out of that department, dearie.
[7:47] Speaker 6: You're no musician.
[7:48] Speaker 5: Well, so what? The Warner Brothers are no piano team either.
[7:51] Speaker 5: But they put on some pretty good shows.
[7:53] Speaker 11: Hey, Billy.
[7:54] Speaker 5: Billy Mills.
[7:55] Speaker 2: Don't bother me now, Skimp.
[7:56] Speaker 4: I gotta run over this music.
[7:58] Speaker 5: From what I heard of it this morning, it sounds
[7:59] Speaker 5: like it had already been run over. By a dump truck. Look,
[8:05] Speaker 5: my Toscan little ninny, just because you have an ear
[8:08] Speaker 5: for music... Oh, you admit I have an ear for music, eh?
[8:14] Speaker 2: Why not? You could put a bass fiddle in each
[8:16] Speaker 2: one of them. Now run along home, will you? We
[8:20] Speaker 2: gotta rehearse.
[8:21] Speaker 6: Oh, Mr. Mills, I'd like to hear what you're going
[8:23] Speaker 6: to play.
[8:23] Speaker 1: Go ahead.
[8:24] Speaker 6: Okay, Mom.
[8:25] Speaker 2: All right, boys, kiss me again from the beginning.
[8:29] Speaker 5: Kiss me again from the beginning. Of all the corny
[8:33] Speaker 5: old loud motors.
[8:43] Speaker 6: Hey, hey, hey, Mills. Hey, stop it. Hold everything.
[8:48] Speaker 1: Stop.
[8:49] Speaker 5: Oh, that won't do, Mills. That's too smaltzy. Whoever wrote
[8:52] Speaker 5: that arrangement ought to take his musical song and go
[8:54] Speaker 5: back to the lumber camp. I wrote this myself.
[8:58] Speaker 6: Yes, and I thought it was beautiful, McGee.
[9:01] Speaker 5: Beautiful, my clavicle. Here, give me them scores. I'll go
[9:05] Speaker 5: home and dash off an arrangement that'll make Gilbert kick
[9:07] Speaker 5: the harp out of Sullivan's hand.
[9:12] Speaker 4: Wait a minute there, Skimp. What do you know about music?
[9:15] Speaker 4: What do I know about music, he said.
[9:17] Speaker 6: Yes, he said that.
[9:22] Speaker 5: I merely studied it for six years in the Peoria Conservatory,
[9:26] Speaker 5: that's all. I studied under Professor Ware for a long,
[9:30] Speaker 5: long time. Long underwear McGee I would say. Long underwear
[9:39] Speaker 5: McGee The.
[9:40] Speaker 12: Mighty mucky muck of the metronome Making mugs of the
[9:42] Speaker 12: mediocre musical mutts Muddling through a mess of monotonous medleys
[9:45] Speaker 12: Making millions marvel at the minor melodies Made out in
[9:48] Speaker 12: magnificent musical masterpieces By the miraculous movements of my magic
[9:51] Speaker 12: mitts Miffing many maestros as I modulated From March Militaire
[9:54] Speaker 12: to Minuet and Gee, so get on with your rehearsal
[9:56] Speaker 12: and we shall see what we shall see.
[10:05] Speaker 2: The king's men saying this little bond went to battle.
[10:08] Speaker 11: Once upon a time, there was a nursery rhyme that
[10:12] Speaker 11: gave the kids a chuckle and a smile. Now the
[10:16] Speaker 11: words are changed, it's all been rearranged to serve a purpose.
[10:20] Speaker 4: Even more worthwhile.
[10:23] Speaker 13: This little bond went to battle This little bond fought.
[10:28] Speaker 11: At home This little bond turned the lights on again
[10:33] Speaker 11: On top.
[10:34] Speaker 13: Of the Capitol door This little bond set torpedoes.
[10:41] Speaker 11: Into a U-boat then.
[10:45] Speaker 8: Every bond's a slam.
[10:46] Speaker 11: To the bows of Uncle Sam, so let's keep on
[10:49] Speaker 11: slamming them again. Everybody knows just how the saying goes
[11:01] Speaker 11: The pen is even mightier than the sword So get
[11:05] Speaker 11: out your pen and write those checks again Then Uncle.
[11:09] Speaker 4: Sam can pass along the word This little bond.
[11:13] Speaker 6: Went to battle.
[11:16] Speaker 13: This little bond fought at all. This little bond bought.
[11:22] Speaker 11: B-29 guns and mercurial clothes.
[11:27] Speaker 4: This little bond bought.
[11:29] Speaker 11: A lifeboat that crossed a stormy foe.
[11:35] Speaker 2: Baby bombs for peace. May your worthy.
[11:39] Speaker 11: Tribe increase to bring.
[11:42] Speaker 1: The boys back home.
[11:58] Speaker 5: Kiss me again. Kiss me again.
[12:03] Speaker 6: Oh, McGee.
[12:04] Speaker 11: Huh?
[12:05] Speaker 6: How do you spell billion? That's easy.
[12:07] Speaker 4: B-I-L-Y-O-N.
[12:10] Speaker 6: You know, that's the way I got it, but it
[12:12] Speaker 6: looks funny, dearie.
[12:13] Speaker 5: Well, take my word for it, Tootsie. That's correct. How
[12:15] Speaker 5: are you coming with my speech?
[12:16] Speaker 10: Pretty well, I think. How does this sound now? The
[12:19] Speaker 10: war in Europe against Germany and Italy is over. But
[12:23] Speaker 10: the war against hunger, privation, and distress will go on
[12:26] Speaker 10: for many, many months. It is our money, yours and mine,
[12:30] Speaker 10: the money we put in war bonds which will fight
[12:32] Speaker 10: this war to an end. Seven billion dollars. You know,
[12:37] Speaker 10: that word still doesn't look right, McGee. Isn't it B-I-L-L-Y-O-N?
[12:42] Speaker 2: Two L's, isn't it?
[12:45] Speaker 5: No, no, no, just one L. Oh?
[12:49] Speaker 10: Seven billion dollars is the quota for individual purchases in
[12:53] Speaker 10: this seventh war loan. With this money, we will bring
[12:56] Speaker 10: order in Europe and continue the war against the Japanese
[12:59] Speaker 10: in the Pacific. That's all I got so far.
[13:02] Speaker 5: Oh, that's very good, Molly. I couldn't have done better myself.
[13:05] Speaker 10: Oh, that's high praise indeed, dearie. How's your musical arrangement coming?
[13:10] Speaker 5: Oh, it's going to be wonderful. Kiss me again. I
[13:14] Speaker 5: lead off with a harp glissando, you see, and then
[13:15] Speaker 5: I go.
[13:15] Speaker 6: You lead off with a what, Sander?
[13:18] Speaker 5: A harp glissando.
[13:19] Speaker 6: What on earth is that?
[13:20] Speaker 5: I don't know, but they all use them. I just
[13:25] Speaker 5: wrote down insert harp glissando here and let Billy Mills
[13:28] Speaker 5: worry about the technicalities. Architects don't lay bricks, do they?
[13:34] Speaker 10: No, but composers lay eggs. And this opera of yours
[13:38] Speaker 10: begins to sound like hen fruit of a very low order.
[13:41] Speaker 5: Yeah. Now, you wait and see. Bird singing so... I
[13:46] Speaker 5: start with a harp glissando, you see, and then I
[13:48] Speaker 5: let the flutes take it for six bars and then
[13:50] Speaker 5: a two-bar tacit. What's a tacit? That's a musical term,
[13:53] Speaker 5: meaning take the derby hats off the trumpets. Have to
[13:58] Speaker 5: do that because there's a lady in the orchestra. Hello, Mrs.
[14:05] Speaker 6: McGee.
[14:06] Speaker 3: Hello, Mr.
[14:06] Speaker 5: McGee.
[14:07] Speaker 6: Jeepers, are you tuning the piano again?
[14:09] Speaker 10: No, no, he isn't, Alice. He's making a musical arrangement.
[14:13] Speaker 2: Oh.
[14:13] Speaker 10: And if Kiss Me Again doesn't wind up a very
[14:16] Speaker 10: wet smack, it won't be his fault.
[14:20] Speaker 3: Gee, I never knew you wrote music, Mr.
[14:22] Speaker 1: McGee.
[14:22] Speaker 4: You didn't, eh?
[14:23] Speaker 5: Didn't you ever hear the high school song I wrote
[14:25] Speaker 5: for the freshman class in Peoria High?
[14:27] Speaker 6: Say, I never heard that either, McGee.
[14:28] Speaker 5: Well, Natch, I just wrote it last week. I haven't
[14:32] Speaker 5: even mailed it to him yet.
[14:34] Speaker 3: Well, how does it go, Mr. McGee?
[14:35] Speaker 5: Airmail, special delivery. I thought they might as well have
[14:39] Speaker 5: it in time for graduation.
[14:40] Speaker 6: Oh, she meant how does the melody, if any, go, McGee.
[14:42] Speaker 5: Oh, well, I can't go into all that now. I
[14:44] Speaker 5: got no time for priddle praddle. This music has got
[14:47] Speaker 5: to be done for the bond rally tonight.
[14:48] Speaker 6: Are you going, Alan?
[14:49] Speaker 3: Oh, I wouldn't miss it for a farm with a
[14:51] Speaker 3: barn full of Van Johnsons. I told my boyfriend that
[14:55] Speaker 3: the one who bought the biggest bond could take me.
[14:57] Speaker 6: Oh, how's the bidding going, Alan?
[14:59] Speaker 3: Oh, very nicely, Mrs.
[15:00] Speaker 9: McGee.
[15:01] Speaker 3: The high man so far is the boy that his
[15:03] Speaker 3: father owns the airplane plant. But I don't like him
[15:05] Speaker 3: as well as the boy that he works at the
[15:07] Speaker 3: next bench to me, which he naturally hasn't got as
[15:09] Speaker 3: much money as Freddy, who is the boy that his
[15:11] Speaker 3: father owns the plant.
[15:14] Speaker 5: Well, take my advice, Alice, and latch on to the
[15:16] Speaker 5: boy that his old man has got the most mizuma.
[15:20] Speaker 3: Well, I'm not getting married yet anyway.
[15:22] Speaker 6: I want to study art a little while longer. Heavenly days, Alice.
[15:24] Speaker 6: I didn't know you were studying art.
[15:26] Speaker 5: Oil or watercolor, Alice?
[15:27] Speaker 6: Oh, neither one.
[15:28] Speaker 3: Art is the boy that he works at the next
[15:30] Speaker 3: bench to me. Well, I'll see you tonight, folks.
[15:40] Speaker 6: Well, now, we better get on with our work, dearie.
[15:42] Speaker 6: Time's a-skipping.
[15:43] Speaker 5: Yeah, I still got a lot to do. I haven't
[15:45] Speaker 5: even brought in the string section yet. How many strings
[15:48] Speaker 5: has Billy Mills got in his band?
[15:49] Speaker 6: Well, now, let me see. Now, there's six fiddles, a guitar,
[15:52] Speaker 6: a piano, and a harp.
[15:54] Speaker 10: And the saxophone players each have one around their necks.
[15:58] Speaker 5: Counting four strings to a fiddle, four to the guitar,
[16:01] Speaker 5: 88 on a piano and about 75 on the harp.
[16:05] Speaker 5: That's about 171 strings. My gosh, I never realized how
[16:10] Speaker 5: big an outfit that was. Oh, well, I'll kind of...
[16:14] Speaker 5: Bird singing softly above... Hiya, folks.
[16:21] Speaker 2: Oh, what's everybody so busy about?
[16:22] Speaker 1: Hello, Mr.
[16:23] Speaker 6: Wilcox.
[16:23] Speaker 10: We're getting ready for the Bond rally tonight. I'm writing
[16:26] Speaker 10: McGee's speech, and he's making an orchestration for Billy Mills.
[16:29] Speaker 5: Yep.
[16:30] Speaker 2: Anything I can do to help, I play a little piano.
[16:32] Speaker 6: Well, that doesn't help much, Mr.
[16:33] Speaker 4: Wilcox.
[16:34] Speaker 6: The piano at the auditorium is a great big one.
[16:36] Speaker 7: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
[16:40] Speaker 1: Well, maybe I can help write his speech, Molly.
[16:42] Speaker 2: I've got a good angle on it.
[16:44] Speaker 6: Yes, Mr. Wilcox?
[16:45] Speaker 2: Sure. You know what day this is?
[16:46] Speaker 5: May 22nd, so what?
[16:48] Speaker 1: This, my little pal, is National Maritime Day.
[16:51] Speaker 5: Oh, I still say so what, Junior?
[16:52] Speaker 2: Well, you can use it in your speech.
[16:53] Speaker 6: How, Mr.
[16:54] Speaker 3: Wilcox?
[16:55] Speaker 1: Look, ladies and gentlemen, this is National Maritime Day, a
[16:58] Speaker 1: day dedicated to the United States Merchant Marine. It's a
[17:01] Speaker 1: day on which we pay tribute to the courage and
[17:03] Speaker 1: tenacity of our merchant fleet and its men. who have
[17:06] Speaker 1: contributed so much to the winning of the war in
[17:09] Speaker 1: Europe and the maintenance of vital supplies in the Pacific.
[17:12] Speaker 5: I still don't see what that got to do with
[17:13] Speaker 5: the war loan.
[17:14] Speaker 1: Well, look, many of these men have performed feats of
[17:17] Speaker 1: heroism equal to those of men in the armed forces.
[17:20] Speaker 1: Their casualty rate has been high and will continue to
[17:23] Speaker 1: be high until the final victory in the Pacific. These
[17:26] Speaker 1: men in 1944 carried 8,000 tons of supplies every hour,
[17:28] Speaker 1: every day.
[17:33] Speaker 2: Arms, ammunition, and.
[17:34] Speaker 1: Medical cargoes bought and paid for by your purchase of
[17:38] Speaker 1: war bonds. It's up to all of us to keep
[17:41] Speaker 1: those supplies going to the fighters who need them. Let's
[17:44] Speaker 1: send them over the bounding waves on a sea of
[17:47] Speaker 1: waving bonds.
[17:48] Speaker 5: Say, I think you got something there, Junior. Thanks very much.
[17:51] Speaker 6: Yes, I can use that, Mr. Wilcox.
[17:53] Speaker 2: Okay, now can I help with the music?
[17:55] Speaker 5: I still don't think you know anything about music, Waxy.
[17:58] Speaker 2: Oh, no?
[17:59] Speaker 5: No.
[17:59] Speaker 1: Well, for your information, smart guy, I played a sweet
[18:03] Speaker 1: potato when I was only seven.
[18:05] Speaker 6: You did? Well, why didn't you keep it up, Mr. Wilcox?
[18:08] Speaker 1: It sprouted when I was eight and I couldn't keep
[18:09] Speaker 1: the leaves out of my eyes.
[18:13] Speaker 5: You answer just one simple musical question, Junior, and I'll
[18:17] Speaker 5: let you help me.
[18:18] Speaker 2: Okay, shoot, pal.
[18:19] Speaker 5: Where do you find G on the piano?
[18:22] Speaker 2: You're kidding. There's no G in Steinway?
[18:29] Speaker 6: Well, we'll see you at the Bond rally, Mr. Wilcox.
[18:32] Speaker 2: Okay.
[18:33] Speaker 5: That guy's about as musical as a worn brake shoe.
[18:42] Speaker 6: On the contrary, McGee. I've heard him sing, and he
[18:44] Speaker 6: has a very nice voice.
[18:46] Speaker 2: Ah, poof.
[18:47] Speaker 5: He's got a rasp in his voice you could file
[18:49] Speaker 5: your way out of Alcatraz with. Well, I gotta get
[18:53] Speaker 5: to work.
[18:53] Speaker 1: Me too.
[18:54] Speaker 2: Kiss me.
[18:55] Speaker 5: Kiss me.
[18:57] Speaker 2: Kiss me. That rasp, that rasp.
[19:00] Speaker 6: Oh, now, what's the matter? Did you default on a note?
[19:04] Speaker 5: Busted my pencil. You got a pencil?
[19:07] Speaker 6: No, will a lipstick do? After all, if you're scoring
[19:10] Speaker 6: kiss me again.
[19:11] Speaker 13: No.
[19:12] Speaker 5: I gotta have a pencil.
[19:14] Speaker 6: I'll ask Beulah to bring you a knife. Oh, Beulah! Beulah!
[19:18] Speaker 2: Somebody bow for Beulah?
[19:29] Speaker 5: Hey, Bueller, I want to sharpen a pencil. You got
[19:31] Speaker 5: a good sharp knife in the kitchen?
[19:33] Speaker 8: If I ain't, sir, I sure have persuaded the jackass
[19:35] Speaker 8: off a big mess of spuds. Would an extra pencil help, Mr.
[19:40] Speaker 6: McGee?
[19:41] Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, fine. Where can I find one?
[19:43] Speaker 4: Behind your left ear.
[19:44] Speaker 5: Oh, oh, yes. I had that there for the base notes. Oh, thanks, Beulah.
[19:51] Speaker 6: Thank you very much.
[19:52] Speaker 4: That's okay, sir.
[19:54] Speaker 8: Can I ask a question, please, folks?
[19:56] Speaker 6: Why, certainly, Beulah. What do you want to know?
[19:59] Speaker 8: I want to know what's going on here, ma'am. I'm
[20:02] Speaker 8: out there in the kitchen trying my best to mind
[20:04] Speaker 8: my own business. But between the click-clack of that typewriter
[20:07] Speaker 8: and the roompty-boompty of that piano, I'm going quietly berserk
[20:10] Speaker 8: from dissatisfied curiosity.
[20:16] Speaker 5: Well, I'm in charge of the big bond rally tonight, Beulah,
[20:18] Speaker 5: at the auditorium. I'm arranging some music, and Mrs. McGee
[20:21] Speaker 5: is writing my speech.
[20:22] Speaker 4: Well, for goodness sake.
[20:24] Speaker 6: What music are you writing, sir?
[20:26] Speaker 5: Kiss Me Again.
[20:27] Speaker 2: Hmm?
[20:28] Speaker 4: Kiss Me Again.
[20:29] Speaker 6: I thought that'd already been wrote. Well, he's making a
[20:33] Speaker 6: new arrangement of it, Beulah.
[20:35] Speaker 5: The score I'm working on will probably be the classic
[20:37] Speaker 5: arrangement of all time, Beulah.
[20:39] Speaker 4: You see this sheet here?
[20:39] Speaker 7: Yes, sir.
[20:40] Speaker 2: You see the staff?
[20:41] Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
[20:42] Speaker 5: Ordinarily, it's got only five lines and four spaces. I'm
[20:45] Speaker 5: doing it on six lines and five spaces. Nobody's ever
[20:50] Speaker 5: done that before in the whole history of music.
[20:53] Speaker 10: And if you hear a thump, thump, thump in the distance, Beulah,
[20:56] Speaker 10: it'll be that little white dog that sits by the
[20:58] Speaker 10: big troll in the advertisement scratching his head.
[21:01] Speaker 4: Yeah. Thump, thump, thump.
[21:04] Speaker 8: Little white dog.
[21:05] Speaker 3: Little white dog.
[21:13] Speaker 2: I love that man's wife.
[21:31] Speaker 13: Hurry up, Molly.
[21:37] Speaker 5: We haven't got too much time now if I'm going
[21:38] Speaker 5: to give the band this new music.
[21:40] Speaker 6: What time is it?
[21:40] Speaker 5: I don't know, but listen.
[21:41] Speaker 2: 7.32.
[21:45] Speaker 5: How do you know? That burglar alarm on Bernstein's fur store.
[21:49] Speaker 5: It always goes haywire at 7.32. Been doing it for years.
[21:53] Speaker 5: Why they don't fix it?
[21:54] Speaker 6: Oh, look, McGee. Here comes Dr. Gamble.
[21:56] Speaker 11: Yoo-hoo.
[21:57] Speaker 6: Hello, doctor.
[21:58] Speaker 4: Well, hello, Molly. And how are you, drop seat?
[22:03] Speaker 2: Hi, Aerosmith.
[22:04] Speaker 5: What you wandering the streets for? Waiting for somebody to
[22:07] Speaker 5: get run over so you can bum a free ride
[22:09] Speaker 5: to the hospital? No, dear boy, I am attending the
[22:12] Speaker 5: big Bond rally tonight.
[22:13] Speaker 4: And for the sheer joy of going to a theater
[22:16] Speaker 4: and not seeing Alan Ladd's picture in the lobby.
[22:18] Speaker 6: Don't you like Alan Ladd, Doctor? I think he's wonderful.
[22:22] Speaker 4: I'm sure he's a fine young man and splendid actor,
[22:25] Speaker 4: my dear, but he reminds me too much of my youth. He, uh,
[22:29] Speaker 4: is the image of me in my 30s.
[22:32] Speaker 5: In your 30s, narcissists moving pictures were just a question
[22:38] Speaker 5: mark in Edison's notebook.
[22:41] Speaker 4: Speaking of moving pictures, soundtrack, just where are you going?
[22:45] Speaker 6: We're going to the Bond Rally, too, Doctor. McGee's in
[22:48] Speaker 6: charge of it, you know.
[22:49] Speaker 4: Who put him in charge, the Japanese embassy? He couldn't
[22:53] Speaker 4: sell a $ 20 bill for 35 cents to a Portuguese
[22:57] Speaker 4: porn broker.
[22:59] Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, well, now look, artery pincher. You can't get
[23:04] Speaker 5: a seat at this rally without buying a war bond,
[23:05] Speaker 5: you know. And if you think you can wave a
[23:08] Speaker 5: 25-cent war savings stamp at the usher and peek out
[23:11] Speaker 5: through the door of the men's lounge, you better reconnoiter.
[23:17] Speaker 4: Don't heckle me, you noisy little corn popper. I gave
[23:21] Speaker 4: up the idea of buying some new X-ray equipment and
[23:23] Speaker 4: bought a $ 1, 000 bond to help this thing out.
[23:25] Speaker 6: Well, I'm sure McGee didn't mean anything.
[23:27] Speaker 4: I don't care what he meant, my dear. Now, look,
[23:30] Speaker 4: I've worked on hundreds of men back from Europe and
[23:32] Speaker 4: the Pacific. Believe me, a trip through a veteran's hospital
[23:35] Speaker 4: is a sure cure for complacency. And if any bonds
[23:39] Speaker 4: I buy will help shorten this war by one split second,
[23:42] Speaker 4: they can have the gold out of my teeth.
[23:44] Speaker 5: No, I was just kidding, Doc. I merely meant.
[23:46] Speaker 4: I know what you merely meant, rabbit foot. I was
[23:50] Speaker 4: just trying to say that if anybody thinks he can
[23:52] Speaker 4: sit back and let the world come to a lovely
[23:54] Speaker 4: state of milk and honey, he better start buying a
[23:56] Speaker 4: cow and get the bees out of his own bonnet.
[23:58] Speaker 6: Yeah, I agree with you, Doctor.
[24:00] Speaker 5: Me too, Doc. Have a cigar?
[24:02] Speaker 4: Thanks, I have one.
[24:03] Speaker 5: You got two?
[24:04] Speaker 2: Thanks.
[24:08] Speaker 5: I'll smoke it after the rally. Uh-oh, here's the stage door.
[24:12] Speaker 5: Come on in, kids. If anybody says anything, you just
[24:14] Speaker 5: tell them you're with me.
[24:18] Speaker 6: My, my. Sounds like a tremendous crowd out there, dearie.
[24:22] Speaker 2: It ought to be.
[24:22] Speaker 5: The promotion work I done on it.
[24:24] Speaker 4: Oh, I'm sure of that, Mousy. You'll probably be awarded
[24:28] Speaker 4: the purple ticket stub with a cluster of peanut brittle.
[24:32] Speaker 5: You and Molly wait here in the flies, Doc. I
[24:35] Speaker 5: gotta get to the pit.
[24:36] Speaker 4: I'll see you later.
[24:46] Speaker 14: Ladies and gentlemen, WVIS brings you tonight a broadcast of
[24:50] Speaker 14: the great seventh war loan bond rally from.
[24:53] Speaker 7: The Wistful Vista Civic Auditorium. This is a gala scene here, folks.
[24:57] Speaker 14: All the cream of Wistful Vista Society is turned out,
[25:01] Speaker 14: and every person in this great hall tonight has bought
[25:04] Speaker 14: a war bond, an extra war bond for admission to
[25:07] Speaker 14: this rally.
[25:08] Speaker 6: Do you see McGee, Doctor?
[25:09] Speaker 4: No, I don't, and I count it among my blessings.
[25:11] Speaker 7: We're very fortunate tonight in having with us one of the.
[25:16] Speaker 14: The wistful vista philharmonic under the able baton of Maestro.
[25:21] Speaker 15: William Randolph Mills. The maestro acknowledges the applause, takes a bow.
[25:35] Speaker 5: Just a minute, folks.
[25:36] Speaker 14: There's a slight disturbance in the pit. Someone is talking
[25:39] Speaker 14: to the maestro. He's waving a sheet of music at him.
[25:43] Speaker 14: Maestro Mills shakes his head and turns away.
[25:45] Speaker 7: The man tugs at his coattails. The maestro... But there
[25:48] Speaker 7: seems to be a slight argument.
[25:50] Speaker 6: Who is it, doctor? Can you see?
[25:51] Speaker 4: No, but I can guess. That stupid, clabber-headed little runt.
[25:54] Speaker 7: Something very unusual is going on down there.
[25:58] Speaker 2: He seemed to.
[25:58] Speaker 11: Uh-oh.
[26:00] Speaker 7: Maestro Mills has just thrown down his baton and climbed.
[26:02] Speaker 6: Out of the pit.
[26:04] Speaker 14: The other man, according to a note just handed to
[26:06] Speaker 14: me by my assistant, is a Mr.
[26:08] Speaker 7: Flabber McSpeed. He just picked up the baton, raised his hands...
[26:14] Speaker 7: Here's the downbeat.
[26:16] Speaker 9: Here's the downbeat.
[26:43] Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
[27:08] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
[27:31] Speaker 8: Hey, McGee.
[27:33] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[27:33] Speaker 6: You got any more music like that?
[27:35] Speaker 5: Plenty of it, bud.
[27:36] Speaker 6: Why?
[27:37] Speaker 4: I bought a barn to get in here.
[27:38] Speaker 2: Well, naturally.
[27:39] Speaker 6: If I buy another one, can I get out?
[27:42] Speaker 5: Yes, you can, wise guy.
[27:46] Speaker 12: And anybody else that don't like it can do the
[27:47] Speaker 12: same thing.
[27:48] Speaker 2: I'll take it.
[27:48] Speaker 7: Give me $ 100.
[27:49] Speaker 4: Now, wait a minute.
[27:51] Speaker 2: Hang on.
[28:23] Speaker 1: There are so many extra uses for Johnson's wax, we're
[28:26] Speaker 1: apt sometimes to forget that its first use is to
[28:29] Speaker 1: protect and beautify your floors. After all, they get the
[28:32] Speaker 1: hardest wear of any part of your home. Now, if
[28:35] Speaker 1: a floor isn't beautiful, it's almost impossible to have a lovely,
[28:38] Speaker 1: attractive room. On the other hand, a gleaming, richly polished
[28:42] Speaker 1: floor sets off your furnishings to their best advantage. So
[28:46] Speaker 1: there's every reason to keep all of your floors well-polished
[28:49] Speaker 1: and well-protected with genuine Johnson's Wax. Actually, they take on
[28:54] Speaker 1: greater beauty with every waxing. The tough film of Johnson's
[28:57] Speaker 1: Wax seals the pores of the wood against dirt and
[29:00] Speaker 1: moisture and protects the finish itself, and thus saves costly refinishing.
[29:05] Speaker 1: And you need not re-wax the entire floor. You can
[29:08] Speaker 1: touch up as often as necessary those areas of extra
[29:11] Speaker 1: heavy traffic, such as doorways and the entrance halls. Remember
[29:15] Speaker 1: also that a Johnson Waxed Home is a clean home,
[29:18] Speaker 1: and a clean home is more healthful.
[29:30] Speaker 5: Ladies and gentlemen, there are some shows you can't buy
[29:33] Speaker 5: your way out of, except at the price of blood, sweat,
[29:37] Speaker 5: and tears.
[29:39] Speaker 4: There's a show like.
[29:40] Speaker 5: that going on in the Pacific right now, and it's
[29:43] Speaker 5: up to us to buy an end to it.
[29:45] Speaker 10: We can do it with our purchases of war bombs
[29:48] Speaker 10: in this mighty seventh war loan. We can buy the
[29:51] Speaker 10: guns and ships and planes and tanks that are needed
[29:54] Speaker 10: to overwhelm a tough and determined enemy.
[29:57] Speaker 5: Yes, and we can buy more than that. Your war
[29:59] Speaker 5: bond purchases are merely loans to your government. That means
[30:03] Speaker 5: you are purchasing post-war security and a controlled economy for
[30:07] Speaker 5: our fighting men to come home to.
[30:09] Speaker 6: So buy your extra war bonds today, all you can afford,
[30:13] Speaker 6: and a little more.
[30:14] Speaker 10: Let's prove that when it comes to buying bonds, American
[30:17] Speaker 10: clothing has no pockets of resistance.
[30:20] Speaker 2: Good night.
[30:21] Speaker 6: Good night, all.
[30:28] Speaker 1: This is Harlow Wilcox speaking for the makers of Johnson
[30:30] Speaker 1: Wax finishes for home and industry, inviting you all to
[30:33] Speaker 1: be with us again next Tuesday night.
[30:34] Speaker 15: Good night.
[30:36] Speaker 5: This is the National Broadcasting Company.
[30:44] Speaker 1: Our time in Wistful Vista ends with Fibber McGee and Molly,
[30:48] Speaker 1: Seventh War Bond Drive. Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for
[30:52] Speaker 1: more classic broadcasts.

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