# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Exchanging Christmas Gift" (Old Time Radio, 1952)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 4 Oct 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75566568/1190d1c304f178f5_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Exchanging Christmas Gift,” originally broadcast December 16, 1952. This is episode 712 of the classic NBC comedy series starring Jim and Marian Jordan as Fibber and Molly McGee. Amid the Christmas-shopping rush, the McGees arrive home with packages to find an unusually large present from Wallace Wimple. Their curiosity soon leads to a department-store exchange counter, while the Old-Timer faces holiday gift-shopping troubles of his own. Written by Phil Leslie and Keith Fowler, the episode originally aired as part of the Reynolds Aluminum program. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:42 Original Broadcast 29:32 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Christmas shopping sends Fibber and Molly home with armfuls of
[0:03] Speaker 1: packages and an oversized wrapped present from Wallace Wimple. On
[0:08] Speaker 1: December 16, 1952, NBC presented Fibber McGee and Molly, Episode 712,
[0:15] Speaker 1: Exchanging Christmas Gift. Jim and Marion Jordan lead the company
[0:20] Speaker 1: as the McGee's impatience over Wimple's gift takes them to
[0:23] Speaker 1: a busy department store exchange counter while the old-timer has
[0:27] Speaker 1: a Christmas present of his own to consider. Phil Leslie
[0:30] Speaker 1: and Keith Fowler wrote the program, directed by Max Hutto,
[0:34] Speaker 1: with the Kingsman and Billy Mills Orchestra heard in the
[0:37] Speaker 1: musical portions. And now, our story begins.
[0:43] Speaker 2: The Reynolds Aluminum Program with Fibber McGee and Molly.
[0:46] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[0:53] Speaker 2: The Reynolds Metal Company, makers of Reynolds Aluminum, present Fibber
[0:57] Speaker 2: McGee and Molly, transcribed with Bill Thompson, Arthur Q.
[0:59] Speaker 4: Bryan, Cliff Arquette, Elvia Allman, and me, Harlow Wilcox.
[1:03] Speaker 2: The show is written by Phil Leslie and Keith Fowler
[1:06] Speaker 2: and directed by Max Hutto, with music by.
[1:08] Speaker 4: The King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[1:16] Speaker 2: Here's news of interest to every home builder, to all
[1:19] Speaker 2: builders everywhere. Your best buy in flashing is aluminum. Reynolds
[1:25] Speaker 2: Lifetime Aluminum Flashing. It costs much less than any other
[1:29] Speaker 2: rust-proof material. It's easy to use, looks good, and lasts
[1:33] Speaker 2: practically forever. You can buy Reynolds Lifetime Aluminum Flashing in
[1:37] Speaker 2: rolls or in flat sheets of various sizes, and also
[1:41] Speaker 2: in a handy new package you'll want to know about.
[1:43] Speaker 2: This package contains 10 stout aluminum sheets, each 18 inches
[1:48] Speaker 2: wide and 4 feet long. Perfect for flashing, of course,
[1:52] Speaker 2: and a great idea to have around the farm or
[1:54] Speaker 2: home or workshop. To make a tabletop, maybe, or a
[1:58] Speaker 2: wagon floor, or to put behind the stove or sink.
[2:02] Speaker 2: Ask for Reynolds Lifetime Aluminum Flashing at hardware and building
[2:06] Speaker 2: supply dealers, or write to Reynolds Metals Company, Louisville 1, Kentucky.
[2:21] Speaker 2: The Christmas shopping season is at its peak in Westville Vista,
[2:25] Speaker 2: with hundreds of shoppers in every store. We find two
[2:29] Speaker 2: of these shoppers returning home now, their hearts full of
[2:33] Speaker 2: joy and good cheer, their arms full of bundles and packages,
[2:39] Speaker 2: and their feet full of aches and pains. As we
[2:42] Speaker 2: join Fibber McGee and Molly....
[2:54] Speaker 5: Oh, I'm glad we're almost home, dearie. I couldn't walk
[2:57] Speaker 5: another block. Me neither. This Christmas shopping is brutal, kiddo.
[3:00] Speaker 5: I don't know which is flatter, my feet or my wallet. Well,
[3:05] Speaker 5: we accomplished a lot today. Yeah. Although I'm not too
[3:09] Speaker 5: sold on that present you bought for Aunt Sarah. Dear
[3:13] Speaker 5: old rich, tight-fisted Aunt Sarah. Bless her little tiny cast
[3:18] Speaker 5: iron heart. What's the matter with her present? Well, it
[3:22] Speaker 5: just doesn't seem very glamorous. A home bunion kit. Well,
[3:28] Speaker 5: I bet she hasn't got one. Besides, it was... McGee,
[3:30] Speaker 5: will you look?
[3:31] Speaker 6: Oh.
[3:32] Speaker 5: Somebody left a package for us. Yeah, my gosh. Right
[3:35] Speaker 5: on our porch. All done up in Christmas paper. I'll
[3:37] Speaker 5: bring it in. Oh, it's a big one.
[3:40] Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
[3:42] Speaker 5: Who's the problem, kiddo?
[3:43] Speaker 3: Who's the problem?
[3:43] Speaker 5: Has it got a card on it? Yes, yes, it
[3:45] Speaker 5: says here. It says, Merry Christmas from Wallace. Oh. Oh,
[3:50] Speaker 5: my goodness, Mr. Wimple. Yeah. Well, what do you know?
[3:53] Speaker 5: Good old Wimple. I didn't expect this much from Mr. Wimple.
[3:58] Speaker 5: I'll set it on the table, kiddo. Right. Certainly is
[4:02] Speaker 5: a big one. Yeah. Funny shape, too. I'd sure like
[4:05] Speaker 5: to know what it is. So would I, but it's
[4:07] Speaker 5: not right to open presents before Christmas. No, no, that's
[4:10] Speaker 5: kid stuff.
[4:11] Speaker 2: Ha!
[4:13] Speaker 5: Sure is a whopper, isn't it? Sort of bulgy. I
[4:19] Speaker 5: wonder what makes it bulge that way. Me too, but
[4:21] Speaker 5: we'll find out Christmas Day. That's soon enough. Of course
[4:23] Speaker 5: it is. Yeah. We're not the curious type. No, no,
[4:27] Speaker 5: not us. We'll just stick it in the closet till Christmas.
[4:31] Speaker 5: That's what we'll do. Sure is a big one, isn't it?
[4:36] Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of tall and wide both.
[4:43] Speaker 5: I can't figure it out. Well, into the closet it goes.
[4:46] Speaker 5: Until Christmas Day.
[4:47] Speaker 6: Yep.
[4:47] Speaker 5: Then we'll see what it is. Right. That's when presents
[4:50] Speaker 5: ought to be opened. And not a minute sooner. Yep. McGee.
[4:55] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[4:55] Speaker 5: Let's stop kidding ourselves. Open it up.
[5:00] Speaker 4: Right.
[5:02] Speaker 3: Yeah, we put up a pretty good fight, though, didn't we, kiddo?
[5:05] Speaker 5: I'm glad we lost.
[5:06] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[5:10] Speaker 5: This is certainly... Oh, my gosh. Do you see what
[5:14] Speaker 5: I see, kiddo? I'm afraid I do. So that's our gift. Well,
[5:19] Speaker 5: what are we supposed to do with a three-foot plaster
[5:21] Speaker 5: statue of the Statue of Liberty? It isn't just a statue, McGee.
[5:26] Speaker 3: It's a lamp.
[5:27] Speaker 5: You see? You screw the light bulb there in Liberty's torch. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
[5:37] Speaker 5: she's got a plug right in the middle of her
[5:38] Speaker 5: back there. So this is just awful. Pretty bad, all right. Boy,
[5:47] Speaker 5: oh boy. Why, anybody who turned the Statue of Liberty
[5:50] Speaker 5: into a lamp would stick a picture of his dear
[5:52] Speaker 5: old white-haired mother on a piece of wood and sell
[5:53] Speaker 5: it for a dartboard. It's a gift or no gift.
[5:57] Speaker 5: This thing has got to go. You're right, McGee. We'll
[5:59] Speaker 5: take it back.
[5:59] Speaker 4: You said it.
[6:00] Speaker 5: We'll turn it in and get something we really want.
[6:01] Speaker 5: I wouldn't do this as a rule, but there are times...
[6:04] Speaker 5: Come in.
[6:05] Speaker 3: Hi, daughter.
[6:06] Speaker 5: Hi, Johnny.
[6:07] Speaker 3: Hello there, kid.
[6:09] Speaker 6: Hello, Mr.
[6:10] Speaker 5: Oldtimer. Hi, Oldtimer.
[6:11] Speaker 3: What you got there on the table, Johnny? Cupidow?
[6:14] Speaker 5: No.
[6:15] Speaker 3: Sort of a Christmas present.
[6:16] Speaker 4: It is, eh?
[6:17] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[6:18] Speaker 7: Well, I've been getting ready for Christmas, too.
[6:20] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[6:21] Speaker 3: Went out to Dugan's Lake and cut myself. Down a tree.
[6:24] Speaker 5: Oh. Have you got your tree all ready?
[6:32] Speaker 4: Yep.
[6:32] Speaker 3: I done my Christmas chopping early.
[6:34] Speaker 7: I ain't done so good with my presents, though.
[6:39] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[6:40] Speaker 3: Can't figure out what to give Bessie.
[6:43] Speaker 5: Aw. You're having trouble with their presents, huh?
[6:46] Speaker 3: Yep. Used to be real simple.
[6:48] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[6:49] Speaker 7: I gave her a pearl necklace a long time ago,
[6:51] Speaker 7: and every year I've been adding to it.
[6:52] Speaker 6: Oh.
[6:53] Speaker 3: So big now, though, I can't add no more to
[6:55] Speaker 3: it this year.
[6:56] Speaker 5: No room for more pearls, eh?
[6:58] Speaker 3: That ain't what I added.
[6:59] Speaker 8: Oh?
[6:59] Speaker 3: I started with one pearl and added more string.
[7:01] Speaker 2: Oh.
[7:05] Speaker 3: So long now the pearl drags on the ground.
[7:10] Speaker 5: Candy makes a nice gift, Mr. Oldtimer.
[7:12] Speaker 3: Not for Bessie, daughter. She's too sentimental.
[7:15] Speaker 5: Sentimental about candy?
[7:16] Speaker 4: Yep.
[7:16] Speaker 3: When I give her candy, she don't eat it.
[7:18] Speaker 7: She presses it in a book. She's got the messiest
[7:22] Speaker 7: library in town.
[7:27] Speaker 5: Don't you have any other ideas for her?
[7:29] Speaker 3: Well, I did see one thing I liked. A real crazy.
[7:33] Speaker 7: Red turtleneck sweater with go, go, go crocheted across the bosom.
[7:38] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[7:39] Speaker 7: I showed it to Bessie in the store window and
[7:41] Speaker 7: she said, Honey, I wouldn't wear that to a dog fight.
[7:45] Speaker 5: Oh, so that's out too, huh?
[7:46] Speaker 3: Nope, I think I'll get it for her anyhow. There's
[7:49] Speaker 3: a dog fight we just won't go.
[7:51] Speaker 9: Oh!
[7:57] Speaker 2: Billy Mills and the orchestra and Hindustan.
[8:02] Speaker 5: © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. THE END My gosh,
[10:06] Speaker 5: will you look at the mob in this store, Molly?
[10:08] Speaker 5: Let's exchange this lamp for something we really want and
[10:11] Speaker 5: get out of here quick. All right, but don't drop it.
[10:13] Speaker 5: I won't drop it. Twenty dollars that thing costs. I
[10:16] Speaker 5: saw one in the window. Twenty bucks. My gosh, was
[10:19] Speaker 5: Wimp ever a sucker. Imagine spending twenty bucks on a
[10:22] Speaker 5: stupid thing like us. I mean, a stupid thing like this. Hey,
[10:25] Speaker 5: what you looking at?
[10:26] Speaker 2: Oh, look.
[10:27] Speaker 5: Look at those lovely bath towels. Aren't they beautiful? Yeah,
[10:31] Speaker 5: all woolen about three yards wide. Boy, look at the
[10:34] Speaker 5: size of them things. Who gets that wet? I'd love
[10:39] Speaker 5: to have one of those, McGee. They're just two dollars
[10:42] Speaker 5: a piece. Say, we could exchange that lamp for ten
[10:45] Speaker 5: of these towels. Oh, well, if you like them, kid,
[10:47] Speaker 5: go ahead and get them and let's go on home.
[10:49] Speaker 5: I'm not the type of guy that he stands in
[10:50] Speaker 5: the way of my wife getting something you want that
[10:52] Speaker 5: Wimp is paying for. Wonderful. Come on, here's the exchange desk.
[10:56] Speaker 5: Let's turn in the lamp and get a credit slip.
[10:58] Speaker 2: Good.
[10:58] Speaker 5: Hey, bud. You the exchange clerk? What does the sign
[11:02] Speaker 5: on my desk say? Exchange clerk. And what does the
[11:13] Speaker 5: sign on the wall behind me say? Exchange clerk. Well,
[11:19] Speaker 5: think it over. Take your time. I'm sure that in
[11:23] Speaker 5: less than half an hour you'll say to yourself, Ah,
[11:27] Speaker 5: that man is the exchange clerk. Okay, you don't have
[11:31] Speaker 5: to make a dad ride of production out of it.
[11:33] Speaker 5: I want to turn in this lamp. Yes, and I'd
[11:35] Speaker 5: like to... Well, hello, baby. I didn't see you there
[11:40] Speaker 5: behind this elderly gentleman. What do you mean, elderly? Oh,
[11:46] Speaker 5: go play with your statue, Dad. Did anyone ever tell
[11:52] Speaker 5: you what gorgeous lips you've got, baby? Why, well, not lately, but...
[11:58] Speaker 5: They're just as red as that garnet mint ring you're wearing.
[12:01] Speaker 5: That ain't garnet, that's ruby.
[12:03] Speaker 4: And besides.
[12:03] Speaker 5: Well, I'm happy to know you're ruby. What say we
[12:08] Speaker 5: do the town tonight? Now, just a darn minute. Ah,
[12:10] Speaker 5: we'll hit the high spots, Ruby. Dinner at the finest cafeteria.
[12:14] Speaker 5: Our tray. Our tray's gently touching. Then a triple feature movie.
[12:21] Speaker 5: The exotic crunch of buttered popcorn.
[12:23] Speaker 3: Ah, cut that out, Buster. You're talking to my wife.
[12:26] Speaker 4: Your wife?
[12:27] Speaker 5: Yeah, my wife. Ruby, is this true? Yes, he's my husband. Well,
[12:38] Speaker 5: I'm sure he doesn't deserve you no matter who he is. Oh,
[12:41] Speaker 5: that's silly. Well, you're a lucky man, silly. Huh? Short
[12:47] Speaker 5: for Sylvester, I presume. Never mind the clatter. Just take
[12:54] Speaker 5: this lamp. And write me on the exchange slip, sir.
[12:56] Speaker 5: I want some bath towels. Well, you look clean to me.
[13:00] Speaker 5: But you shall have the towels. Ah, here you are, Ruby,
[13:04] Speaker 5: and drop back any time you decide to exchange Sylvester. McGee,
[13:19] Speaker 5: are my lips really so red? I'm not wearing a
[13:21] Speaker 5: bit of lipstick. Yeah, they're red, and so's mine, so's everybody's.
[13:25] Speaker 5: Just look around the store, and I'll give you 50
[13:27] Speaker 5: bucks for every pair of green lips you see in
[13:29] Speaker 5: the whole town. Ah, you're cute when your eyes flash
[13:33] Speaker 5: that way. Ah, sure. After all, I... Oh, here we are, miss.
[13:36] Speaker 5: I'd like some of those large towels, please. Yes, madam.
[13:39] Speaker 5: Ten of them, please. I have a credit.
[13:41] Speaker 4: Hey, hello there, Molly.
[13:42] Speaker 5: Hiya, pal. Hello, Mr. Wilcox.
[13:43] Speaker 4: Hi, Junior.
[13:44] Speaker 5: You down here picking up some Christmas presents, or are
[13:46] Speaker 5: you paying for them?
[13:47] Speaker 2: No. No, as a matter of fact, pal, I've been
[13:53] Speaker 2: up in the toy department auditioning for the part of
[13:56] Speaker 2: Santa Claus.
[13:57] Speaker 5: Oh, really? What part of him did you audition for, Mr.
[14:00] Speaker 4: Wilcox?
[14:02] Speaker 2: All of him, with the help of six pillows.
[14:04] Speaker 5: Oh, you didn't need six.
[14:07] Speaker 2: I gave the children a big smile and I said.
[14:09] Speaker 5: Merry Christmas, kiddies.
[14:13] Speaker 4: Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho.
[14:21] Speaker 5: Must have scared the bejunior out of them.
[14:25] Speaker 4: Well, sir, it was really cute. Oh, I'll bet.
[14:27] Speaker 2: Yeah, one chubby little chap climbed up in my lap
[14:30] Speaker 2: and he said, Sandy Cloth, isn't your house awfully cold
[14:34] Speaker 2: up at the North Pole?
[14:36] Speaker 5: Hmm, I suppose you had a clever retort on the
[14:38] Speaker 5: top of your tongue.
[14:39] Speaker 4: Oh, sure, sure.
[14:40] Speaker 2: I said, not anymore, Thunny, or Sunny. I said, it
[14:44] Speaker 2: used to be cold, but now my house is lined
[14:46] Speaker 2: with Reynolds aluminum reflective insulation.
[14:48] Speaker 5: Oh, oh, oh.
[14:52] Speaker 3: Oh, oh, oh, brother.
[14:56] Speaker 5: Yes, sir, I said.
[14:57] Speaker 2: That light bright aluminum foil on craft paper. So easy
[15:00] Speaker 2: to tack or staple in place. And ho, ho, ho,
[15:04] Speaker 2: what a job it does, I said.
[15:06] Speaker 5: What did Chubby Little Lapsitter say to that? Nothing.
[15:11] Speaker 2: He just smiled happily and set fire to my beard.
[15:15] Speaker 5: A form of criticism, no doubt.
[15:18] Speaker 4: Well, I beat the fire out with.
[15:19] Speaker 2: My mittens, and I said, in the wintertime, kiddies, Reynolds
[15:22] Speaker 2: insulation keeps your house warmer with less fuel.
[15:25] Speaker 4: Oh?
[15:25] Speaker 2: In summer, it keeps the house up to 15 degrees colder.
[15:29] Speaker 4: Ho, ho, ho, I said.
[15:30] Speaker 5: Oh, that again. Mr.
[15:31] Speaker 3: Wilcox.
[15:33] Speaker 2: Mr.
[15:34] Speaker 5: Wilcox, you single-handed have probably set Christmas back 50 years. Oh,
[15:38] Speaker 5: thank you, miss. Here's the credit slip.
[15:39] Speaker 4: Well, I tell you, I tell you, the kids love me.
[15:41] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[15:42] Speaker 2: Yeah, one little fellow about seven years old climbed up
[15:44] Speaker 2: on the chair arm, and he said, Santa Claus, is
[15:47] Speaker 2: it really true that Reynolds reflective aluminum insulation is not
[15:51] Speaker 2: only lighter and easier to work with than heavy bulk insulation,
[15:55] Speaker 2: but aluminum actually means more for your money?
[15:59] Speaker 5: Is that true, he said? Precautious youngster, wasn't he?
[16:05] Speaker 4: Ah, it really is true, Sonny, I boomed.
[16:08] Speaker 2: Ever since the Reynolds Metals Company brought competition into the
[16:10] Speaker 2: industry to push production up and keep the price down.
[16:13] Speaker 4: Ho, ho, ho, I said. Well, with that, Cousin Claude smiled.
[16:19] Speaker 5: Cousin Claude?
[16:20] Speaker 4: Yeah, the lad who asked the question. Hey, I owe
[16:23] Speaker 4: him a buck. I better find him.
[16:25] Speaker 5: See you later, kids.
[16:26] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[16:33] Speaker 5: Good old sand aluminum. Well, let's go, dearie. Do you
[16:37] Speaker 5: want to carry the towels? It's a pretty big package.
[16:39] Speaker 3: No, you can carry them.
[16:40] Speaker 5: That's okay, Tootsie. I'll lead the way on account of because... Hey,
[16:43] Speaker 5: wait a minute. Look at all the fancy tools here, Molly. Oil.
[16:48] Speaker 3: Attention, please.
[16:49] Speaker 5: Is there a doctor in the house?
[16:51] Speaker 3: Please go to the tobacco counter immediately, doctor.
[16:53] Speaker 5: A customer can't decide which cigarette to buy. Oh, my goodness.
[17:03] Speaker 5: The problems doctors have to face these days. Oh, McGee,
[17:06] Speaker 5: there's Mabel Toops. Hold these towels a minute. I want
[17:08] Speaker 5: to talk to her.
[17:09] Speaker 2: Okay.
[17:09] Speaker 5: Mabel, wait a minute. Boy, I'd sure love to have
[17:13] Speaker 5: one of these combination hacksaw scroll-sewn buck saw outfits. Boy, oh, boy.
[17:18] Speaker 5: With the nail punts and the chisel on the end.
[17:20] Speaker 5: Look at that. And the hollow handle full of iodine.
[17:25] Speaker 5: Twenty bucks, the tag says. Just the iodine alone would
[17:29] Speaker 5: save that much in doctor bills, and I can't see why. Hi, mister.
[17:32] Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
[17:33] Speaker 5: Hello there, Tina.
[17:35] Speaker 6: Hi.
[17:35] Speaker 5: What are you doing, shopping?
[17:36] Speaker 9: Sure.
[17:37] Speaker 6: Oh?
[17:37] Speaker 5: I'm buying Christmas presents.
[17:39] Speaker 2: Oh? Mm-hmm.
[17:40] Speaker 10: Some hankies for my mama and some hamburger for my
[17:43] Speaker 10: daddy to smoke.
[17:45] Speaker 5: Wait a minute. People don't smoke hamburger. Oh, my daddy does,
[17:49] Speaker 5: I betcha.
[17:50] Speaker 7: He does?
[17:51] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[17:51] Speaker 10: He came home one night and said what he wanted
[17:54] Speaker 10: to eat was a great big steak.
[17:56] Speaker 5: So?
[17:57] Speaker 10: So mama said, you'll get hamburger and you can put
[18:00] Speaker 10: that in your pipe and smoke it.
[18:01] Speaker 2: Okay.
[18:06] Speaker 5: I think I'll get him a half a pound. You will, huh? Because...
[18:11] Speaker 5: I said you will, huh? Well, why? Get him a
[18:13] Speaker 5: half a pound. For what?
[18:14] Speaker 4: Hamburger. For what?
[18:15] Speaker 3: To put in his pipe.
[18:16] Speaker 5: I'm smoking. I know it.
[18:20] Speaker 10: Oh, gee.
[18:22] Speaker 5: I like Christmas. You on Christmas vacation now, Teeny?
[18:25] Speaker 9: Yeah.
[18:25] Speaker 10: I'm having fun down here today, though, I bet.
[18:28] Speaker 5: Yeah?
[18:28] Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
[18:29] Speaker 10: Some friends of mine have got a job singing Christmas carols,
[18:32] Speaker 10: and I'm helping.
[18:33] Speaker 5: No kidding?
[18:34] Speaker 9: Mm-hmm.
[18:34] Speaker 5: Mm-hmm. What do you do for them? Carry their music? No.
[18:37] Speaker 5: I carry the lead. Uh-oh. That's my music.
[18:42] Speaker 10: See you later, mister.
[18:43] Speaker 5: Okay, dearie. This is the story of a reindeer, a
[18:46] Speaker 5: super extraordinary reindeer. He wasn't what a reindeer ought to be,
[18:52] Speaker 5: for he had one peculiarity.
[18:55] Speaker 3: Go on, teeny, you tell them.
[18:57] Speaker 5: Okay, fellas, I'll tell them.
[19:00] Speaker 10: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had.
[19:02] Speaker 5: A very shiny nose.
[19:05] Speaker 10: And if you ever saw it, you would even say
[19:08] Speaker 10: it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh
[19:14] Speaker 10: and call him names. They never left for Rudolph to
[19:18] Speaker 10: join in any reindeer games. On one foggy Christmas Eve,
[19:22] Speaker 10: Santa Claus lost his way.
[19:26] Speaker 5: Then he cried, without a guiding light, old Saint Nick
[19:29] Speaker 5: won't ride tonight. Just then along came Rudolph, galloping, galloping, galloping,
[19:34] Speaker 5: galloping through the stormy night.
[19:36] Speaker 10: Gliding the way before him, with his hood now so bright.
[19:41] Speaker 3: Santa Claus shouted, Rudolph, please guide us.
[19:45] Speaker 5: On our way.
[19:46] Speaker 7: And the reindeer answered, Rudy, come along.
[19:50] Speaker 3: We'll let you play.
[19:52] Speaker 5: So Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen and Comet
[19:55] Speaker 5: and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen away. Here I come, Rudolph.
[19:58] Speaker 3: Talk that sleigh, hey, hey, hey. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
[20:03] Speaker 4: Brighter than a neon sign.
[20:06] Speaker 3: There used to be eight reindeer.
[20:09] Speaker 10: Now there always will be nine.
[20:11] Speaker 5: Don't you worry if you should see stormy weather.
[20:15] Speaker 4: On Christmas Eve.
[20:17] Speaker 5: Santa will find his way to you. Because Rudy's equipped
[20:20] Speaker 5: with radar, too. Oh, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
[20:24] Speaker 4: Twinkle, twinkle on your way.
[20:27] Speaker 3: Everybody loves that reindeer.
[20:29] Speaker 2: Because Rudolph saved.
[20:32] Speaker 5: The day for little children. Yes, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's
[20:37] Speaker 5: here to stay. Now, you sure saw that that saw's
[20:58] Speaker 5: wrapped up good, did you, sis?
[20:59] Speaker 8: Yes, sir.
[21:00] Speaker 5: Here you are, sir. Thank you. Mabel Toop said to
[21:02] Speaker 5: say hello to you, dearie. Grab the package. Say, that's
[21:05] Speaker 5: not my towel. No, I traded them in, kiddo. You didn't? Yeah,
[21:08] Speaker 5: for the greatest invention you ever saw. A combination hacksaw,
[21:11] Speaker 5: scroll saw, and buck saw. With a hollow handle full
[21:13] Speaker 5: of iodine. Something I've wanted all my life. Heavenly days,
[21:18] Speaker 5: I never heard of such a thing. Yeah, me neither,
[21:20] Speaker 5: but it's something I've wanted all my life.
[21:22] Speaker 3: Well, anyway.
[21:24] Speaker 5: Attention, please. Will a janitor kindly bring a crowbar to
[21:27] Speaker 5: the furniture department? Another fat lady is stuck in the
[21:30] Speaker 5: left seat. Hmm, she's stuck. I had some nice towels
[21:37] Speaker 5: and look what I got stuck for. That's just silly. Oh, hello, Dr.
[21:41] Speaker 9: Gamble.
[21:41] Speaker 5: Well, good afternoon, Molly. It's nice to see you.
[21:45] Speaker 4: Hiya, mudhead.
[21:46] Speaker 5: Hello, whale hips. Doing your Christmas shopping, are you, doctor?
[21:54] Speaker 5: Just looking around, Molly.
[21:55] Speaker 4: I thought I might.
[21:55] Speaker 5: Hey, do me a great favor, will you, fatso? And
[21:57] Speaker 5: don't buy me a necktie. Oh? I saw your taste
[21:59] Speaker 5: in ties, and brother, it stinks. Why, McGee.
[22:03] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[22:04] Speaker 5: Ah, look who's talking about taste in ties. The poor
[22:07] Speaker 5: man's luscious boobie. Look at that creepy cravat he's wearing, Molly.
[22:14] Speaker 5: Looks like his omelet blew up. Is that so? Well,
[22:22] Speaker 5: it is pretty horrible. Yeah, that thing must have been
[22:24] Speaker 5: designed by a cross-eyed Russian with a vodka hangover who
[22:27] Speaker 5: hand-painted it with his feet. Where did you get that error,
[22:33] Speaker 5: Jug Ears? From you. Oh. Oh. For my birthday. And
[22:39] Speaker 5: that's why I say don't give me a necktie. Well,
[22:43] Speaker 5: it fits your personality.
[22:44] Speaker 4: One of the kind.
[22:46] Speaker 5: Of things he wears, Molly. I think that's a very
[22:50] Speaker 5: handsome necktie the doctor has on. Well, thanks, Molly. It's
[22:53] Speaker 5: my favorite. Just an old fillard I've had for years.
[22:56] Speaker 5: A what, doctor?
[22:57] Speaker 3: An old fillard.
[22:58] Speaker 4: Well, you know what I always say.
[22:59] Speaker 5: There's no fillard like an old fillard. Gosh, don't you
[23:03] Speaker 5: get it?
[23:04] Speaker 3: It's a play on the old proverb.
[23:05] Speaker 5: No fool like an old fillard. You tell him, Doctor.
[23:15] Speaker 5: Ain't funny, McGee. Yeah, you're both just jealous on account
[23:21] Speaker 5: of because you can't think him up like that, that's all. Yes,
[23:23] Speaker 5: I'm just envious of your wit.
[23:25] Speaker 4: You betcha.
[23:25] Speaker 5: Well, I gotta run along, Molly. I got a date
[23:27] Speaker 5: this afternoon with sad Sam Korshak, the used car millionaire. Oh,
[23:31] Speaker 5: I'd like to be sad like he is. That guy
[23:34] Speaker 5: must be loaded. Every time I look around, he's opening
[23:36] Speaker 5: up another used car lot someplace. Yes, I'm going over
[23:38] Speaker 5: for his latest grand opening this afternoon. In fact, I'm
[23:41] Speaker 5: taking charge of it.
[23:42] Speaker 3: You?
[23:42] Speaker 5: You?
[23:43] Speaker 3: Opening a used car lot?
[23:44] Speaker 5: No, I'm opening the used car dealer.
[23:46] Speaker 4: Huh?
[23:47] Speaker 9: Mr.
[23:47] Speaker 5: Korshak's appendix comes out today.
[23:49] Speaker 8: Oh, yes.
[23:49] Speaker 5: See you later. Isn't he sweet, dearie? No, sure. This
[23:59] Speaker 5: close to Christmas, everybody's sweet. But you wait till I... Attention, please.
[24:04] Speaker 5: The elevators on the east side stop only at the
[24:06] Speaker 5: second and fourth floors between the hours of three and
[24:08] Speaker 5: five and.
[24:09] Speaker 1: Oh, no, sorry.
[24:11] Speaker 5: I mean the elevators on the west side stop at
[24:13] Speaker 5: the third and fifth floors between the hours of two
[24:15] Speaker 5: and four... Uh, the, uh, east side elevators from 6
[24:20] Speaker 5: to 9 will stop on the 7th and 8th floors.
[24:23] Speaker 4: Uh, the west side of the.
[24:25] Speaker 3: Oh, the heck with it.
[24:26] Speaker 5: Walk off. Well, come on, McGee. Hang on to your
[24:33] Speaker 5: little furniture record there and let's go home. I just
[24:36] Speaker 5: don't know how we're going to explain to Mr. Wimple
[24:38] Speaker 5: about this.
[24:38] Speaker 4: Hey, Molly.
[24:39] Speaker 5: Lookie here. Look at the stuff in this food counter here,
[24:43] Speaker 5: will ya? Ooh. Ooh.
[24:45] Speaker 3: Look at that.
[24:46] Speaker 5: Smoked turkey. Oh, that's the most delicious. I had a
[24:50] Speaker 5: bite once.
[24:51] Speaker 4: Hey, look.
[24:52] Speaker 5: I just got a whale of an idea, kiddo. Tell mother,
[24:54] Speaker 5: tell me. I'm going to take this saw back. We've
[24:56] Speaker 5: been going at this whole thing all wrong, kiddo.
[24:58] Speaker 8: We have?
[24:58] Speaker 5: You betcha. We've been entirely too sensible about this. That's
[25:01] Speaker 5: what we've been entirely too sense. My gosh, Christmas ought
[25:04] Speaker 5: to be for fun. That's right, you're so right. If
[25:06] Speaker 5: somebody gives you something you don't want, you shouldn't ought
[25:07] Speaker 5: to trade it for something sensible like towels or tools.
[25:10] Speaker 5: You ought to get something extravagant. Keep talking, wipe your chin,
[25:12] Speaker 5: and tell me more. Something we've always wanted and couldn't afford, like...
[25:17] Speaker 5: A smoked turkey.
[25:18] Speaker 2: That's it.
[25:19] Speaker 5: That's it.
[25:20] Speaker 4: Go on, buy one.
[25:21] Speaker 5: Buy it. Oh, miss, we'd like to look at some
[25:22] Speaker 5: smoked turkeys, please.
[25:24] Speaker 3: Yeah, $ 20 one, sis.
[25:25] Speaker 5: You pick it out, kiddo. I'll run and exchange this
[25:27] Speaker 5: silly saw set, and boy, we'll live it up, kiddo.
[25:39] Speaker 5: Give me just one more slice, dear, and we'll put
[25:41] Speaker 5: the turkey away.
[25:41] Speaker 2: Good.
[25:42] Speaker 5: I think I'll invite all our friends over tomorrow evening.
[25:44] Speaker 9: Mr.
[25:44] Speaker 5: Wimple, too. Let me get out that other drumstick off
[25:46] Speaker 5: of there before you start sending out any invitations, Tootsie. Boy,
[25:50] Speaker 5: this is delicious. I wonder how the poor people are doing.
[25:57] Speaker 5: This was quite a parlay, you know that? From Wimple's
[25:59] Speaker 5: lamp to bath towels to a set of saws to
[26:01] Speaker 5: a smoked turkey. I need to try to exchange this
[26:05] Speaker 5: poor thing, dearie. Yeah. This, uh, this bird has suffered.
[26:08] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[26:09] Speaker 5: Nah, that was the best idea. Somebody at the door.
[26:13] Speaker 5: Throw a towel over the turkey. I don't want to
[26:15] Speaker 5: give this expensive.
[26:16] Speaker 8: Stuff to the.
[26:17] Speaker 3: Come in.
[26:18] Speaker 5: Oh, for goodness sakes, Mr.
[26:19] Speaker 1: Wimple.
[26:20] Speaker 5: Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Hello, folks. Hi, Wimp,
[26:24] Speaker 5: old man. Come in, boy. Glad to see you. Thank you.
[26:27] Speaker 5: Sit down, Mr. Wimple. Oh, I really can't stay, Mrs. McGee.
[26:31] Speaker 6: I just stopped by to make sure you got that
[26:33] Speaker 6: box I left on your porch this morning.
[26:35] Speaker 3: Oh, sure.
[26:35] Speaker 5: We got it, Wimp. Looks exciting, too. We put it
[26:38] Speaker 5: away in the hall closet till Christmas. Yes. We'll take
[26:41] Speaker 5: it out Christmas day, Mr.
[26:42] Speaker 9: Wimple.
[26:43] Speaker 5: Yeah. Good. I'll pick it up early Christmas morning. Huh?
[26:47] Speaker 6: Huh? It's my present for Sweetie Face. She always opens
[26:52] Speaker 6: her packages the minute I bring them in the house,
[26:54] Speaker 6: so I thought I'd leave it here with you and
[26:56] Speaker 6: fool her this time.
[26:58] Speaker 5: Yes, yes, you'll certainly fool her all right. Sit down, Wimp.
[27:05] Speaker 5: Have some smoked turkey, boy. I want to tell you
[27:08] Speaker 5: about a funny thing that happened to us today on
[27:09] Speaker 5: our front porch.
[27:19] Speaker 4: River and Molly return in a moment.
[27:22] Speaker 2: Many of you who roasted your Thanksgiving turkey in Reynolds
[27:24] Speaker 2: Wrap will want to repeat that wonderful experience this Christmas.
[27:28] Speaker 2: But if you want to change from turkey, remember you
[27:30] Speaker 2: can get the same extra benefits by roasting any meat
[27:33] Speaker 2: in this pure aluminum foil.
[27:35] Speaker 3: It's the perfect way to bake a Christmas ham.
[27:37] Speaker 2: You get more flavor because the juices are sealed in.
[27:40] Speaker 2: More meat on the table because there's less shrinkage in
[27:43] Speaker 2: the oven. No oven watching either. No basting. No fear
[27:46] Speaker 2: of burning. Whatever your Christmas menu, make it easy, make
[27:50] Speaker 2: it better with Reynolds Wrap.
[27:52] Speaker 4: Stock up at your grocer's.
[27:53] Speaker 2: Standard 25-foot rolls and jumbo economy rolls, 75 feet. Ask
[27:58] Speaker 2: by name for Reynolds Wrap, the original and genuine. Made
[28:03] Speaker 2: by the world's largest producer of aluminum foil, the Reynolds
[28:06] Speaker 2: Metals Company.
[28:15] Speaker 5: Have some more turkey, Mr. Wimple. Thank you. It's delicious.
[28:19] Speaker 5: So that's a deal then, Wimp. You always spend five
[28:21] Speaker 5: bucks on us for Christmas, so you merely take the
[28:24] Speaker 5: dough for the next four years and buy your wife
[28:26] Speaker 5: another lamp with it.
[28:27] Speaker 2: Right?
[28:28] Speaker 3: Right.
[28:29] Speaker 5: Hand me that drumstick, please. Thank you. McGee, what are
[28:34] Speaker 5: we going to give him for Christmas? Have you bought it?
[28:37] Speaker 5: Bought it? You think I'm going to buy a present
[28:39] Speaker 5: for a guy that ain't going to give us anything
[28:40] Speaker 5: till 1956?
[28:40] Speaker 8: Yes.
[28:45] Speaker 5: Don't be naive, kiddo. Boy, look at that bird eat.
[28:48] Speaker 5: Good cheeky. Good night. Good night, all.
[28:51] Speaker 9: The Reynolds Metals Company, pioneers of progress through aluminum, brings
[29:01] Speaker 9: you Fibber McGee and Molly each week at this time.
[29:03] Speaker 8: Reynolds Aluminum also brings you Mr. Peeper starring Wally Cox
[29:07] Speaker 8: on NBC television Sunday night. See your local paper for
[29:10] Speaker 8: time and channel. And don't forget to be with us
[29:12] Speaker 8: again next Tuesday night.
[29:13] Speaker 5: Good night. Transcribed. Tonight, play Two for the Money with
[29:25] Speaker 5: Herb Schreiner on NBC.
[29:31] Speaker 1: We leave Wistful Vista after Fibber McGee and Molly, exchanging
[29:35] Speaker 1: Christmas gift. Good night and pleasant holiday listening.

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