# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Giving up Cigars" (Old Time Radio, 1955)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 24 Oct 2026, 15 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75965334/da89006d544b88d8_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Giving Up Cigars,” originally broadcast November 30, 1955. This local archival recording is identified as episode 1238 of the classic NBC comedy series, starring Jim Jordan as Fibber McGee and Marian Jordan as Molly. Fibber puts his resolve to the test when he tries to give up smoking cigars, setting up a brisk domestic-comedy predicament for the McGees. The episode is also listed in some collections under the alternate title “Smoking Again.” Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:38 Original Broadcast 15:06 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Fibber McGee is trying to give up smoking cigars with
[0:03] Speaker 1: his resolve at the center of a brief domestic comedy
[0:06] Speaker 1: visit with Molly. From the late daily run years of
[0:09] Speaker 1: Fibber McGee and Molly, this 15-minute NBC broadcast stars Jim
[0:15] Speaker 1: Jordan as Fibber and Marion Jordan as Molly. It was
[0:20] Speaker 1: originally heard on November 30, 1955, and is episode 1,238,
[0:22] Speaker 1: Giving Up Cigars. For many listeners, these compact broadcasts remain
[0:31] Speaker 1: a welcome part of radio's everyday comedy tradition. And now,
[0:36] Speaker 1: the original broadcast.
[0:38] Speaker 2: Miles Laboratories, makers of Alka-Seltzer, bring you another visit with Fibber, McGee,
[0:43] Speaker 2: and Molly.
[0:45] Speaker 3: ¶ ¶.
[0:51] Speaker 2: Again, we invite you to listen to the transcribed adventures
[0:54] Speaker 2: of Pepper, McGee, and Molly. The show is written by
[0:57] Speaker 2: Phil Leslie and Ralph Goodman and directed by Max Hutto.
[1:08] Speaker 2: Our story will be underway in just a minute.
[1:11] Speaker 3: This is Eleanor Engle.
[1:12] Speaker 4: Mother, when Dad comes home from work feeling tired, headachy,
[1:16] Speaker 4: and just not quite up to his usual self, you
[1:20] Speaker 4: can help him feel good again by fixing him a
[1:22] Speaker 4: glass of speedy Alka-Seltzer. Yes, when a man is tired
[1:27] Speaker 4: and achy and feels the need to freshen up, Alka-Seltzer
[1:31] Speaker 4: is a friend indeed. You see, Alka-Seltzer is in solution
[1:36] Speaker 4: when you take it. A sparkling liquid that looks inviting,
[1:40] Speaker 4: tastes tangy, and brings wonderfully prompt relief. So whenever you
[1:45] Speaker 4: or dad or any one of the family feels tired
[1:48] Speaker 4: and achy, remember Speedy Alka-Seltzer. You'll never know until you
[1:53] Speaker 4: try it how wonderful Alka-Seltzer can be for those times
[1:56] Speaker 4: when you feel achy and out of sorts. So do
[2:00] Speaker 4: try it, won't you? Buy a package or two at
[2:02] Speaker 4: your drug counter soon. Keep Alka-Seltzer where you won't forget it.
[2:06] Speaker 4: And then, for that feel-better feeling in a hurry, take Alka-Seltzer.
[2:24] Speaker 3: Breakfast is ready, McGee.
[2:25] Speaker 5: So am I, kiddo. I'll be right down.
[2:27] Speaker 3: In that case, I'll put it on. Never want to
[2:30] Speaker 3: yell breakfast is ready when it really is, because it
[2:32] Speaker 3: always takes him at least ten minutes to... Breakfast, boy!
[2:36] Speaker 5: Well, Mr.
[2:36] Speaker 3: Oldtimer, I'm here in the kitchen fixing breakfast.
[2:39] Speaker 6: Oh, don't bother, daughter. I just asked.
[2:41] Speaker 3: Oh, it wasn't for you. It's for McGee. He just
[2:43] Speaker 3: got up.
[2:44] Speaker 6: I thought so. Think more of that lazy husband of
[2:47] Speaker 6: yours than you do the man who's brung home the
[2:49] Speaker 6: bacon for you for all these years.
[2:51] Speaker 2: Me?
[2:53] Speaker 3: Oh, stop teasing.
[2:55] Speaker 6: Well, uh... Oh, hi, Johnny.
[2:57] Speaker 5: Oh, hi, old-timer. What's he doing, Molly? Giving you a
[2:59] Speaker 5: bad time?
[3:00] Speaker 3: Oh, you know him, dearie. Just an old tease.
[3:02] Speaker 5: Yeah, he's the oldest tease in the.
[3:04] Speaker 6: The reason I come by so early, daughter, is to
[3:06] Speaker 6: see how Johnny here is making out with his promise
[3:08] Speaker 6: to give up cigars. Boys around town are betting 32
[3:11] Speaker 6: to 1.
[3:12] Speaker 7: Well, just tell them to save their money. Once I
[3:14] Speaker 7: make a promise, I never break it.
[3:15] Speaker 5: Right, Molly?
[3:16] Speaker 6: Well.
[3:16] Speaker 5: I mean this time.
[3:18] Speaker 7: I said I'd never touch another cigar, at least for
[3:20] Speaker 7: the rest of this week up till Saturday, because this
[3:22] Speaker 7: weekend we might have guests and I might have to
[3:24] Speaker 7: smoke to be sociable just to prove I can do it.
[3:26] Speaker 5: Right?
[3:28] Speaker 6: Would you mind if I adjust your antenna, Johnny? The
[3:31] Speaker 6: picture's clear, but the sound is coming in fuzzy.
[3:35] Speaker 3: Actually, Mr. Old Tyron McGee isn't giving up cigars for good.
[3:38] Speaker 3: He's just trying to prove that if the time ever
[3:40] Speaker 3: came when he had to give them up, he could.
[3:43] Speaker 3: It's sort of a test run, you might say.
[3:45] Speaker 6: Oh.
[3:46] Speaker 7: You know, like if there was another depression or war,
[3:48] Speaker 7: and they asked us to donate our cigars to the soldiers.
[3:51] Speaker 6: Soldiers on which side? Because your cigars are.
[3:54] Speaker 7: Never mind which side. If an emergency like that comes,
[3:58] Speaker 7: I'll be ready. Because I'm going to prove that I
[4:00] Speaker 7: can get along without them.
[4:01] Speaker 3: Sit down, McGee. Your coffee's poured and the eggs are on.
[4:04] Speaker 6: You serious about this giving up cigars, Johnny? Because if
[4:07] Speaker 6: you are, there's a story I ought to tell you.
[4:10] Speaker 5: Certainly I'm serious. But never mind any stories. No, no.
[4:13] Speaker 3: No, no. It's too early.
[4:14] Speaker 6: Well, sir, it seems many years ago, back in Arizona... Ah,
[4:17] Speaker 6: here we go. When it was still engine territory and
[4:20] Speaker 6: overrun with engines.
[4:21] Speaker 3: Want your eggs up or over?
[4:22] Speaker 8: Over.
[4:22] Speaker 2: Easy.
[4:23] Speaker 6: There lived a tribe of peaceful Indians known as the Chickabees.
[4:26] Speaker 5: Pass the toast, will you, Molly?
[4:27] Speaker 3: Here you are.
[4:28] Speaker 6: Well, sir, the chief of this tribe was a quiet
[4:30] Speaker 6: kind of fellow who always minded his own business and
[4:33] Speaker 6: never got in trouble with nobody.
[4:35] Speaker 5: May I have the jam, kiddo?
[4:36] Speaker 6: He was just like Johnny here.
[4:38] Speaker 7: What?
[4:38] Speaker 5: I said pass the jam.
[4:39] Speaker 3: Oh, pardon me. Here you are.
[4:41] Speaker 5: Funny you didn't hear me. I was sitting right.
[4:42] Speaker 6: However, unlike you, son, this old chief had a terrible wife. Mean,
[4:49] Speaker 6: hard to get along with, and no sense of humor.
[4:51] Speaker 6: If you ever saw a square squaw, kids, this squaw
[4:54] Speaker 6: was really square.
[4:55] Speaker 3: Here are your eggs, dearie. Watch it now. The plate's hot.
[4:59] Speaker 5: Thanks.
[5:00] Speaker 6: Well, sir, just like you, Johnny, the old chief loved
[5:03] Speaker 6: his cigars.
[5:04] Speaker 3: Here's the salt and pepper.
[5:06] Speaker 6: And like you, Johnny, he promised his wife, straight in
[5:09] Speaker 6: the face her name was, he promised her he'd give
[5:11] Speaker 6: up cigars if it killed him. And it liked it did.
[5:14] Speaker 5: Pass the ketchup.
[5:15] Speaker 6: Well, sir, the old chief put up with this giving
[5:18] Speaker 6: up cigars for six months. And I tell you, it
[5:21] Speaker 6: was driving him daffy. Till one night he couldn't stand it.
[5:25] Speaker 6: No longer.
[5:26] Speaker 7: I don't think I can stand this much longer either,
[5:28] Speaker 7: so make it snap.
[5:28] Speaker 6: Scared as he was of his ugly old squaw, the
[5:30] Speaker 6: chief snuck out of the teepee one night and made
[5:32] Speaker 6: his way to his tobacco patch, rolled himself a cigar,
[5:35] Speaker 6: three of them, in fact, in case the first two
[5:36] Speaker 6: wouldn't light, which often happened, and snuck into the woods
[5:39] Speaker 6: for a smoke.
[5:40] Speaker 5: Well, good for him. Now, if you'll hurry up.
[5:42] Speaker 6: Little did he realize, though, that sneaking right behind him
[5:45] Speaker 6: to see what he was up to was his big, mean,
[5:48] Speaker 6: ugly old squaw.
[5:49] Speaker 3: This is a long one.
[5:51] Speaker 6: Well, sir, the chief got to the middle of the woods,
[5:53] Speaker 6: took his three cigars out from under his war bonnet,
[5:56] Speaker 6: held them in one hand and took his tomahawk in
[5:58] Speaker 6: the other hand. He was just about to chop the
[6:00] Speaker 6: ends off so he could have a nice, quiet smoke
[6:03] Speaker 6: when right smack behind him the old bat screeched, Henry!
[6:09] Speaker 6: That done it.
[6:10] Speaker 5: Done what?
[6:11] Speaker 6: Scared the old chief so bad he was just petrified.
[6:14] Speaker 6: Petrified his cigars, even petrified all the trees. And to
[6:18] Speaker 6: this day, out there in Arizona, the petrified forest is
[6:22] Speaker 6: still there. And down in front of the cigar store
[6:25] Speaker 6: at 14th and Oak, there stands a sad old chief.
[6:28] Speaker 6: Cigars in one hand, hatchet in the other, petrified.
[6:32] Speaker 8: Oh.
[6:32] Speaker 6: No, because he promised to give up cigars. So, Johnny,
[6:38] Speaker 6: please be careful. So long, kid.
[6:51] Speaker 2: In a moment, we'll return to Fever McGee and Molly.
[6:55] Speaker 4: Mother, I'm sure you know that good health doesn't come
[6:57] Speaker 4: by accident. If you have a happy, healthy family, you
[7:00] Speaker 4: deserve a lot of credit. And you probably realize that
[7:04] Speaker 4: you must guard against vitamin shortage, one of the common
[7:07] Speaker 4: causes of loss of pep and energy. Now, an easy,
[7:10] Speaker 4: practical way to protect your family against vitamin shortage is
[7:14] Speaker 4: to give them one-a-day brand multiple vitamin tablets regularly, every day.
[7:20] Speaker 4: You see, your meals may not always contain enough vitamins,
[7:23] Speaker 4: but one-a-day brand multiple vitamins provide all the vitamins children
[7:28] Speaker 4: and adults normally need to take. They're prescription quality vitamins
[7:32] Speaker 4: in small, easy-to-swallow tablets that leave no aftertaste. That's why
[7:36] Speaker 4: youngsters take them willingly. And one-a-day brand multiple vitamins contain
[7:40] Speaker 4: vitamin B12. Buy a package at the drugstore today. You'll
[7:44] Speaker 4: be surprised at how inexpensive this important protection actually is.
[7:49] Speaker 4: Ask for one-a-day brand multiple vitamin tablets in the blue
[7:54] Speaker 4: box with the big red one.
[8:06] Speaker 7: Well, kiddo, I told you I can do it, didn't I?
[8:09] Speaker 7: Here I've been up and around for over 23 minutes
[8:11] Speaker 7: now and I haven't had a single cigar.
[8:13] Speaker 3: Good for you.
[8:13] Speaker 5: Yes, sir. Once I make a promise, come in.
[8:17] Speaker 3: Well, hello, Dr. Gamble.
[8:19] Speaker 5: Say, you're up early today, aren't you, Patsy? For a doctor,
[8:22] Speaker 5: I mean.
[8:23] Speaker 7: You guys usually sleep till two and then tell your
[8:25] Speaker 7: patients you're busy operating in the morning.
[8:27] Speaker 5: Isn't that the technique?
[8:28] Speaker 9: Corny little fellow, isn't he? And mighty chipper for a
[8:31] Speaker 9: man who's just given up smoking.
[8:33] Speaker 3: Well, it's only been 20 minutes so far.
[8:34] Speaker 7: 24 minutes and 30 seconds.
[8:37] Speaker 5: Amazing.
[8:38] Speaker 3: Actually, I think the whole thing is silly, doctor, and
[8:40] Speaker 3: I'm ready to call it off right now.
[8:42] Speaker 5: Oh, not me, kiddo. No, sir.
[8:44] Speaker 7: I gave my word and I'm going to keep it.
[8:46] Speaker 7: I'm not going to touch another cigar till Saturday.
[8:49] Speaker 9: Well, I've been looking forward to this.
[8:51] Speaker 3: He's so stubborn sometimes.
[8:52] Speaker 9: I counted on that, too.
[8:54] Speaker 5: And further, what do you mean you counted on that, too?
[8:57] Speaker 9: Remember our golf game last Saturday? You beat me by
[9:00] Speaker 9: one stroke.
[9:01] Speaker 5: Three strokes?
[9:02] Speaker 9: One stroke. My caddy saw you kick the ball in
[9:05] Speaker 9: on the first and eighth holes, remember?
[9:07] Speaker 5: Okay, one stroke.
[9:08] Speaker 2: So?
[9:10] Speaker 9: So, I'm over here to pay off the bet.
[9:12] Speaker 5: About time.
[9:13] Speaker 9: Our bet was a gift from the loser to the winner...
[9:15] Speaker 9: To cost not less than $ 3, right?
[9:17] Speaker 5: Right. So here you are.
[9:20] Speaker 9: Nice, fresh box of good cigars.
[9:23] Speaker 5: Why, you dirty rat.
[9:25] Speaker 3: Oh, now, doctor, that isn't fair.
[9:27] Speaker 9: It's more than fair, my dear. These aren't cheap cigars.
[9:31] Speaker 9: They're gold-labeled Coronas. Wait till I, uh.
[9:35] Speaker 9: Get this lit, and I'll show you.
[9:38] Speaker 5: Oh, cut it out. Don't, doc.
[9:40] Speaker 9: Yeah, let me blow some smoke around. Show you how
[9:42] Speaker 9: wonderful they smell.
[9:43] Speaker 3: No.
[9:44] Speaker 9: I didn't... Stop backing up, McGee. Don't turn your face away.
[9:48] Speaker 3: Out!
[9:49] Speaker 6: Get out!
[9:50] Speaker 5: Molly, get him out of here! Please.
[10:05] Speaker 3: Yes, Mabel, you know how stubborn McGee is when he
[10:07] Speaker 3: makes up his mind. Mm-hmm. He swears he's not going
[10:11] Speaker 3: to touch a cigar until Saturday. Pardon me, somebody's at
[10:14] Speaker 3: the door.
[10:15] Speaker 5: Just a minute.
[10:16] Speaker 3: Probably another wiseacre with the same tired old joke again, Mabel. Yes,
[10:21] Speaker 3: they've been dropping in all day with, Is McGee home?
[10:23] Speaker 3: I hear he gave up smoking and I'd like to
[10:25] Speaker 3: shake his hand. The one with the cigar in it.
[10:29] Speaker 3: All day long. That's why he locked himself in the den.
[10:32] Speaker 3: Talk to you later, Mabel. This one's impatient.
[10:34] Speaker 2: Bye.
[10:35] Speaker 3: Coming. Whoever this joker is.
[10:39] Speaker 5: Oh, Mr. Wimple.
[10:41] Speaker 8: Hello, Mrs. McGee. I hear Mr. McGee has given up smoking.
[10:45] Speaker 8: I'd like to shake his hand.
[10:47] Speaker 3: I know, the hand with the.
[10:48] Speaker 10: Because I think a man with that much willpower deserves
[10:52] Speaker 10: a medal.
[10:53] Speaker 3: Oh, you're serious. Well, come in, come in. Let me
[10:56] Speaker 3: have your hat. McGee's in the den there, locked in.
[10:58] Speaker 8: Uh, locked in?
[11:00] Speaker 3: Yes, and many of his friends have been teasing him
[11:02] Speaker 3: that he shut himself up for the day. McGee, open up. Mr.
[11:06] Speaker 3: Wimple is here to see you. Huh?
[11:08] Speaker 9: What'd you say, Molly?
[11:10] Speaker 8: She said, I'm here, Mr. McGee, to see you. I'm
[11:14] Speaker 8: on your side.
[11:15] Speaker 6: Oh, swell.
[11:17] Speaker 5: Wait till I get this door unlocked, Wim.
[11:18] Speaker 3: You go ahead and visit Mr. Wimple. I have to
[11:21] Speaker 3: get dinner started. McGee needs cheering up anyhow.
[11:24] Speaker 5: Oh, hi, Wim. Glad to see you. Come in, boy.
[11:27] Speaker 8: Oh, Mr.
[11:27] Speaker 10: McGee, I just came over to congratulate you and tell
[11:31] Speaker 10: you how proud I am of you.
[11:32] Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Close the door, will you? and lock it.
[11:37] Speaker 10: I don't blame you. I heard about all those fellas
[11:40] Speaker 10: with their cheap jokes, but not me. I'm a real fan,
[11:43] Speaker 10: and I.
[11:43] Speaker 5: Yeah, I know you are, boy. That's why I let
[11:45] Speaker 5: you in here.
[11:46] Speaker 8: Believe me, a man who can do what you're doing.
[11:48] Speaker 7: Put this plug back in the wall for me, will you, Wimp?
[11:50] Speaker 7: While I get my pliers out again and fix this fan.
[11:53] Speaker 8: Repairing a fan? In the winter?
[11:56] Speaker 5: No, I'm not repairing it. It ain't broke.
[11:58] Speaker 8: But you just said.
[12:00] Speaker 5: See? Works fine.
[12:02] Speaker 8: Well, then what do you need the pliers for?
[12:04] Speaker 7: Well, you know, Wimp, I promised Molly I wouldn't touch
[12:07] Speaker 7: a cigar until Saturday.
[12:08] Speaker 8: Well, I know, but.
[12:09] Speaker 7: So with these pliers, I can pick the cigar up
[12:12] Speaker 7: like this without touching it and use the fan to
[12:14] Speaker 7: blow the smoke out the window and still keep my word.
[12:17] Speaker 5: Where's the match?
[12:18] Speaker 8: Oh. Mr. McGee.
[12:21] Speaker 10: Oh, I'm sorely disappointed in you.
[12:24] Speaker 8: I thought... I know.
[12:26] Speaker 7: But I've been dying for a smoke. And I'm not
[12:28] Speaker 7: breaking my word. Just stretching it a little. So what's
[12:32] Speaker 7: the harm in.
[12:36] Speaker 5: Ah, that's good.
[12:48] Speaker 2: Your friends have more to say to you presently.
[12:51] Speaker 11: At night when sleep won't come and you toss and
[12:54] Speaker 11: turn or get up and read or just lie there
[12:56] Speaker 11: and think, what you need is Miles Nervine to help
[13:00] Speaker 11: you relax. Of course, there are preparations that induce sleep.
[13:04] Speaker 11: But remember this. Myles Nervine doesn't put you to sleep.
[13:08] Speaker 11: It relaxes you and lets you sleep. And what a
[13:11] Speaker 11: difference that makes. You wake up next morning feeling more
[13:14] Speaker 11: rested and refreshed and ready for the day's activities. Myles
[13:18] Speaker 11: Nervine is pleasant to take, and it's easy to buy, too.
[13:22] Speaker 11: Get Myles Nervine at any drugstore. Follow the label, avoid
[13:25] Speaker 11: excessive use. And when sleep won't come... Remember, you can
[13:30] Speaker 11: relax with Miles Nervine.
[13:41] Speaker 3: Dearie, about this promise of yours not to touch another
[13:43] Speaker 3: cigar till Saturday, would you do me a favor?
[13:46] Speaker 6: Yeah?
[13:47] Speaker 3: When you throw a cigar butt out the window... Be
[13:50] Speaker 3: sure you don't forget and let go of those pliers.
[13:52] Speaker 3: You might kill somebody.
[13:54] Speaker 5: What?
[13:56] Speaker 3: And the next time, don't leave them lying in the ashtray.
[13:59] Speaker 3: You'll never commit the perfect crime, McGee. You're too careless.
[14:02] Speaker 2: Hmm.
[14:03] Speaker 3: Now, if it was Agatha Christie and she gave up
[14:05] Speaker 3: smoking cigars, she'd never leave the pliers.
[14:08] Speaker 5: All right. So long, everybody.
[14:11] Speaker 3: See you tomorrow.
[14:18] Speaker 2: Fibber, McGee, and Molly Transcribed is brought to you Mondays
[14:21] Speaker 2: through Fridays at this time by Miles Laboratories, makers of Alka-Seltzer.
[14:33] Speaker 2: Bill Thompson plays the old-timer and Wallace Whiffle and Arthur Q.
[14:37] Speaker 6: Bryan, Dr.
[14:37] Speaker 9: Gamble.
[14:38] Speaker 2: Join us again tomorrow, won't you, as Mrs. McGee expects
[14:42] Speaker 2: an important visitor. This is John Wald bidding you goodbye.
[14:52] Speaker 11: Today listen to The Woman in My House on most
[14:54] Speaker 11: NBC radio stations.
[15:05] Speaker 1: This has been Fibber McGee and Molly in Giving Up Cigars.
[15:08] Speaker 1: Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for more classic broadcasts.

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