# Fibber McGee and Molly - Fmm Haircut At Joe’S \[episode 1175\] Broadcast 6/2/1955

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 18 Jul 2026, 14 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/74038747/fmm_1955_06_02_1175_haircut_at_joe_s.mp3

https://www.oldtimeretroradio.com This episode features Fibber McGee and Molly - Fmm Haircut At Joe'S \[episode 1175\] Broadcast 6/2/1955, a restored classic from the golden age of radio. A classic old time radio broadcast from the golden age of radio, featuring original radio drama, authentic performances, and timeless storytelling. These historic programs reflect an era when radio was the heart of home entertainment, delivering mystery, suspense, westerns, comedy, and unforgettable performances through sound alone. Source: OTRR dot org – Certified Public Domain Collection. Curated by Old Time Retro Radio. 🎧 Listen to Old Time Retro Radio on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7mFIvYDRMy31c9suzqOm1R Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fibber-mcgee-and-molly/id1858238532 📻 Search Old Time Retro Radio on your favorite podcast app to explore the complete collection. #OldTimeRadio #GoldenAgeBroadcast #ClassicRadio #VintageAudio #RadioTheater Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: It's time for Febber McGhee and Molly. Sundays through Thursdays,
[0:12] Speaker 1: NBC brings you Febber McGhee and Molly transcribe. The show
[0:16] Speaker 1: is written by Phil Leslie and Ralph Goodman and directed
[0:18] Speaker 1: by Max Hutton. Before we get into our story, here's
[0:35] Speaker 1: interesting news for the sports minded.
[0:37] Speaker 2: McGee tossed me that ball of yarn low and outside.
[0:39] Speaker 3: Boy, it's just lowing outside business.
[0:42] Speaker 2: I'm getting hip to the baseball jargon that's in Prudential's
[0:45] Speaker 2: new book Baseball for Boys. Oh you know, after reading
[0:49] Speaker 2: Ed Matthew's article on how to Beth, I bet even
[0:52] Speaker 2: I could knock the cover off that old apple.
[0:54] Speaker 3: I can see myself explaining that.
[0:55] Speaker 2: To the neighbors anyway. Imagine what a kick junior ballplayers
[0:59] Speaker 2: will get out of this wonderful credential baseball book.
[1:02] Speaker 3: Right, big league stars like Brooklyn's Duke Snyder and the
[1:05] Speaker 3: Phillies Robin Roberts give straight from the dugout tips on
[1:07] Speaker 3: playing every position.
[1:09] Speaker 2: How about those pictures, McGee, They're big and clear and
[1:11] Speaker 2: they really demonstrate that and prudentials.
[1:13] Speaker 3: Baseball for Boys is a natural for dad too, to
[1:16] Speaker 3: help him keep up with his son's favorite game.
[1:19] Speaker 2: Want your free copy real quick? Write a postcard with
[1:22] Speaker 2: your name and address and the words Baseball for Boys
[1:25] Speaker 2: on it.
[1:25] Speaker 3: Send it to Fiver McGee and Molly box one two
[1:28] Speaker 3: one two, Newark, New Jersey. That's box one two one two, Newark,
[1:32] Speaker 3: New Jersey.
[1:33] Speaker 2: Or just ask your prudential agent.
[1:45] Speaker 1: Picture of a man and his wife having a friendly
[1:47] Speaker 1: discussion on the subject of procrastination.
[1:50] Speaker 3: Procrastination, what does that mean?
[1:52] Speaker 2: It means putting things off. And you've put this off
[1:54] Speaker 2: long enough McGee. Now you promised nearly two weeks ago.
[1:57] Speaker 3: I'll do it. I'll take care of it. Molly, really
[2:00] Speaker 3: when today? Right now? Let me borrow your scissors and
[2:03] Speaker 3: I'll trim it off around the edge of soder.
[2:05] Speaker 2: No, you are not gonna cut your own hair. For
[2:08] Speaker 2: goodness sakes, Why don't you go to the barber shop.
[2:10] Speaker 2: Have they raised the prize to two dollars or something?
[2:12] Speaker 3: Oh, isn't that Molly. It's it's Joe, my barber. I'm
[2:16] Speaker 3: praid to walk into that shop of his. Don't tell
[2:18] Speaker 3: me what I'll look like when I come out.
[2:19] Speaker 2: Believe me, my lad, anything he does to you will
[2:22] Speaker 2: be an improvement.
[2:22] Speaker 3: At this point. Oh, it's not that bad.
[2:24] Speaker 2: What's the matter with Joe the barber? He's always given
[2:27] Speaker 2: you a beautiful haircut? You yourself said, he's got the
[2:30] Speaker 2: steadiest hand in town.
[2:32] Speaker 3: He had soil this wife trouble started. Oh he's all upset.
[2:36] Speaker 2: Wife trouble.
[2:37] Speaker 3: Yeah, they had a big row a couple of weeks ago,
[2:38] Speaker 3: and she left it. Oh, dear, went hold to her
[2:41] Speaker 3: mother and everything was fine. But now she's back again,
[2:43] Speaker 3: and Joe's as jumping as a kangaroo on a hot sidewalk.
[2:46] Speaker 3: Herb Travis was in there last week and nearly got scalped.
[2:48] Speaker 2: Well, Joe isn't the only barber in town. Why don't
[2:51] Speaker 2: you hold it? Get on come in well hello doctor gamble.
[2:55] Speaker 3: Oh my dear, and good day to you. Frizzledom Hi
[2:59] Speaker 3: hers nurse, Come on in.
[3:00] Speaker 2: I'm glad you dropped by a doctor. We were just
[3:03] Speaker 2: talking about McGee getting a haircut.
[3:04] Speaker 4: I'm for that.
[3:06] Speaker 3: If he was thinner and straighter, he could post for one.
[3:09] Speaker 4: Of those ads in the women's magazines.
[3:10] Speaker 2: Which ads? You know?
[3:12] Speaker 4: Does Jo Mopp look like this after a hard month scrubbing?
[3:14] Speaker 3: Uh?
[3:16] Speaker 2: Well, he doesn't seem happy with his regular barber. Doctor,
[3:19] Speaker 2: maybe you could recommend one.
[3:20] Speaker 4: Well, I might be able to. Does he prefer the
[3:23] Speaker 4: little seat of the horse's head on it or the
[3:25] Speaker 4: one with.
[3:25] Speaker 3: The steering wheel? Very funny, very funny?
[3:28] Speaker 2: Fat Not come on, doctor, I'm serious.
[3:30] Speaker 3: I don't know what the heck you're asking him for.
[3:32] Speaker 3: With that skin skull he's got. All he has to
[3:34] Speaker 3: do is goin twice here and have the points on
[3:36] Speaker 3: his ears filed down.
[3:37] Speaker 5: McGhee.
[3:38] Speaker 3: I'm not looking for a new barber. I'll go to Joe,
[3:41] Speaker 3: but not now. I'm going to wait until things cool
[3:43] Speaker 3: down and he gets to be his old self again.
[3:45] Speaker 3: What happened to Joe?
[3:46] Speaker 2: Seems he's having domestic problems, arguments with his wife.
[3:49] Speaker 3: Oh is she back? Yeah? You know how he gets
[3:52] Speaker 3: when she's around. The poor guy.
[3:55] Speaker 4: He's usually so happy, clipping away and singing some aria
[3:58] Speaker 4: from his favorite opera.
[4:00] Speaker 3: Yeah, but the way he is now a couple of
[4:01] Speaker 3: courses of pause and all look like the devil.
[4:04] Speaker 2: You look like the devil anea with your hair growing
[4:06] Speaker 2: clear down your back.
[4:07] Speaker 3: You'll have to say, hey, I just remembered.
[4:10] Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a new barber shop opened a couple of
[4:12] Speaker 4: weeks ago in the rich Vista Hotel.
[4:14] Speaker 3: Pierre supposed to be great. Pierre's sounds like a beauty
[4:18] Speaker 3: parler a restaurant.
[4:19] Speaker 4: No, he seems to be a very fine barber.
[4:21] Speaker 3: Really.
[4:22] Speaker 4: One of my patients was telling me about him yesterday. Uh,
[4:25] Speaker 4: this fellow's real fussy about his hair, and Pierre did
[4:27] Speaker 4: a swell job in him. God, I saw him right
[4:30] Speaker 4: afterwards and his hair looked great, cut just right, nice
[4:33] Speaker 4: and wavy.
[4:35] Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't like to sleep with curlers. Doc,
[4:38] Speaker 3: thanks for a nasty, underhanded trifatso, but I'll wait for
[4:41] Speaker 3: Joe now.
[4:41] Speaker 2: Mcgie, you listen to me. You're going to go down
[4:43] Speaker 2: to Pierre's and get a haircut right now.
[4:45] Speaker 3: But Molly, would he be.
[4:46] Speaker 4: In a big hotel like the rich Vista if he
[4:48] Speaker 4: wasn't a fine barber?
[4:50] Speaker 3: Stop worrying, I know, but Doc, here's your hat. But Molly,
[4:53] Speaker 3: I'm scared of new barbers. And anyway, Joe is the
[4:55] Speaker 3: sensitive type. If he finds out I'm going to someone else,
[4:58] Speaker 3: he'll be hurt, bony, Doc, you understand, don't you. Doc? Mollie,
[5:01] Speaker 3: you wouldn't want me to hurt Joe's feelings, would you? Mollie, oh, okay,
[5:06] Speaker 3: give me my hat gee whiz, there's.
[5:19] Speaker 1: More fun with the McGee shortly. If you live in America,
[5:23] Speaker 1: you can afford to be optimistic. Tremendous population increases in
[5:27] Speaker 1: the past decade, marked improvements in our living and working standards,
[5:31] Speaker 1: and many other changes in the American scene have been
[5:34] Speaker 1: creating a wide variety of needs, and meeting these needs
[5:37] Speaker 1: offers unprecedented opportunities from which all of us can benefit.
[5:42] Speaker 1: Throughout America. We need new homes, new highways, new schools,
[5:46] Speaker 1: and new hospitals. We need new factories and new equipment
[5:49] Speaker 1: to meet this expansion. And we need more farm produce
[5:52] Speaker 1: and more and better means of transportation. What does this
[5:56] Speaker 1: mean to all of us as Americans? It means more
[5:59] Speaker 1: jobs and greater security than ever before, more leisure, better
[6:02] Speaker 1: educational opportunities for our children, and heightened cultural and spiritual interests.
[6:08] Speaker 1: If you'd like to learn more about the promises that
[6:10] Speaker 1: are ahead, right today, to box seventeen seventy six Grand
[6:14] Speaker 1: Central Station, New York City for the free booklet The
[6:16] Speaker 1: Future of America. The more you know about America, the
[6:19] Speaker 1: better the future looks.
[6:31] Speaker 3: Boy, I'd rather cut my own hair anytime. In the
[6:34] Speaker 3: dark with the rusty scout axe and go to a
[6:36] Speaker 3: new barmer. They scare them a junior out of.
[6:38] Speaker 5: Me with oh me too, mister McGhee. But I hear
[6:42] Speaker 5: this Pierre is a very fine barbery.
[6:44] Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what Doc Gamble said.
[6:45] Speaker 5: I've spoken to a dozen people who've been going there,
[6:48] Speaker 5: all of Joe's old customers.
[6:50] Speaker 3: Joe his business must be shot.
[6:53] Speaker 5: Well I was going to wait for him to get
[6:55] Speaker 5: himself straightened out, but well I'm afraid to take a chance.
[6:59] Speaker 5: Sweetye face, my I come home any day now. Oh
[7:02] Speaker 5: sweetie face, my big old wives.
[7:04] Speaker 3: That's why I thought you man out of town?
[7:06] Speaker 2: Is she?
[7:07] Speaker 5: Yes, she went to a class reunion at her old
[7:09] Speaker 5: alma mater in Cicero, Illinois.
[7:12] Speaker 3: Class reunion Huh.
[7:14] Speaker 5: Yes, she's a graduate of Old BCI. You know that's
[7:18] Speaker 5: the bone Crusher's Institute. It's non sectarian.
[7:21] Speaker 3: Oh BCI, huh, never heard of that one.
[7:24] Speaker 5: Oh, very fine school if you like to crush bones.
[7:28] Speaker 5: Sweety Face made Jordan Judo there, got her MA a
[7:31] Speaker 5: degree in fact.
[7:32] Speaker 3: Oh, she's got a degree Master of Arts.
[7:34] Speaker 5: No, it's sweety Face's school. MA stands for Mayhem Artist.
[7:38] Speaker 5: Oh and believe me she is. I'm surprised you haven't
[7:42] Speaker 5: heard of BCI. Their school song is quite well known. Really, yeah,
[7:47] Speaker 5: not for being an aid, my goodness, I must know
[7:50] Speaker 5: it by heart. It's quite catchy. Let me see it goes.
[7:58] Speaker 5: Oh muscle bound, Oh Marcy bound old grads, we are
[8:03] Speaker 5: so muscled bound, Wally. But we love you, dear b
[8:08] Speaker 5: c I, and we are here to do.
[8:12] Speaker 3: A die wam. I hate to be impolite, but here's
[8:15] Speaker 3: the barber shop, Pierre.
[8:17] Speaker 5: Oh, I didn't realize it.
[8:19] Speaker 3: Come on, open the door, let's go, boy. Sure is
[8:23] Speaker 3: a fancy looking place, all right.
[8:25] Speaker 5: Certainly is smells good too, doesn't it.
[8:29] Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm not interested in the aroma kind of
[8:31] Speaker 3: haircut you get. That's what I'm interested in me too.
[8:34] Speaker 5: I'm just as nervous about trying the new barberes.
[8:37] Speaker 3: Hey, we're lucky. There's a guy in the chair. Now
[8:39] Speaker 3: we can watch how Pierre does on him and see
[8:41] Speaker 3: it doesn't.
[8:41] Speaker 6: Okay, there you are, sir, Phinney looks fine. Happy to
[8:45] Speaker 6: do it, sir, anytime your eyebrows need another trim, mister Lewis,
[8:48] Speaker 6: it is piers pleasure to do it. No chut oh
[8:52] Speaker 6: thank you. Mister lewis next please?
[8:54] Speaker 5: Oh he didn't get a haircut, mister meet.
[8:57] Speaker 3: So we still don't know how good this barber is.
[8:59] Speaker 5: No, it's sweety face comes home and finds me scalped
[9:02] Speaker 5: or wearing a nave, whole butch or something.
[9:05] Speaker 6: I sit next, priest, gentleman, who is next?
[9:07] Speaker 3: Next? Well? Your next? Whip him? He's next me?
[9:11] Speaker 5: Oh? No, your next, mister McGee. I oh what the heck?
[9:17] Speaker 5: Live dangerously Wallace.
[9:19] Speaker 3: I'll be next, not a boy boy. I'll sit here
[9:22] Speaker 3: and watch Pierre, and if he makes any wrong cuts,
[9:24] Speaker 3: I'll tell him. So, don't you worry about a thing.
[9:37] Speaker 5: How does it look so far, mister McGee?
[9:39] Speaker 3: Great looks swell whimp here you're doing a fine job. Oh,
[9:42] Speaker 3: thank you, monsieur.
[9:44] Speaker 5: How is the back? I can't see the back very well.
[9:48] Speaker 5: My eyes aren't long enough to see back there.
[9:50] Speaker 3: And perfect, boy, perfect, This guy's a master barber.
[9:53] Speaker 6: You flutter my thirty years experience, monsieur.
[9:56] Speaker 3: Well to tell you the truth, we kind of owe
[9:57] Speaker 3: you an apology, Pierre. You see, we were both care
[10:00] Speaker 3: of you when we came in. You've being a new
[10:02] Speaker 3: barber for us.
[10:02] Speaker 6: I mean, oh that is interestingable. Most people, they are
[10:05] Speaker 6: used to their old bag bear.
[10:07] Speaker 1: But once you see Pier's work.
[10:09] Speaker 3: More, you can say that again. How much longer will
[10:11] Speaker 3: you be with my friend?
[10:12] Speaker 2: Oh?
[10:12] Speaker 6: Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes?
[10:14] Speaker 3: That long?
[10:14] Speaker 6: If Pierre believes this thing is worth doing, it is
[10:17] Speaker 6: worth doing wet.
[10:19] Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, the only thing is I'm kind of in
[10:22] Speaker 3: a hurry. I gotta get back home soon and show
[10:23] Speaker 3: my wife what a good job.
[10:24] Speaker 6: Well, my assistant he will be back from lunch in
[10:27] Speaker 6: a few minutes.
[10:27] Speaker 3: Oh no, I'll wait for people. Ah, here he is.
[10:30] Speaker 7: Now, I'm sorry. I'm a lady of Boston. I used
[10:33] Speaker 7: see it.
[10:33] Speaker 6: Wait, mister buggy, Joe, such a bigger surprise. Who told
[10:39] Speaker 6: you I work here on Thursdays because of my business?
[10:41] Speaker 6: She's a slower?
[10:43] Speaker 3: Well, gee, I owe you too.
[10:44] Speaker 6: Know each other, know each other. He's my best of costumer, Prier,
[10:48] Speaker 6: Why do you think easy?
[10:49] Speaker 3: Here?
[10:50] Speaker 7: He found my shopper clothes, and he asked everybody in
[10:52] Speaker 7: town until he found out too.
[10:54] Speaker 6: Where Joe is such a loyalty.
[10:58] Speaker 3: You make me cray.
[11:01] Speaker 1: You sit down, and mister muggy, he's my chair, right
[11:04] Speaker 1: to hear?
[11:04] Speaker 3: Yeah? But Joe, Yeah, that's it.
[11:07] Speaker 7: You heard the bottom of my wife, Maddi, or she'd
[11:09] Speaker 7: drive me craze.
[11:11] Speaker 4: Look, Joe, I tell you, mister Muggy, that's a woman
[11:14] Speaker 4: and she's a.
[11:14] Speaker 7: Murder nag nag negg goes to relax.
[11:21] Speaker 6: You leave it to me here, I put a warm
[11:23] Speaker 6: towel on your face, Maddy, I say, how can a
[11:28] Speaker 6: man of work when your neck?
[11:29] Speaker 1: Can?
[11:31] Speaker 3: She make them?
[11:32] Speaker 7: And loose of my customers? She driven me crazy and
[11:34] Speaker 7: all the time I should make her.
[11:49] Speaker 1: They'll say good night to Fabru and Molly in a moment.
[11:52] Speaker 1: Got time for a ten second quiz. Monitor is one
[11:56] Speaker 1: who keeps order, the iron clad ship used in the
[11:59] Speaker 1: Civil War, or a large lizard NBC's newest radio sensation.
[12:05] Speaker 1: The answer is they're all correct, And although the dictionary
[12:08] Speaker 1: doesn't have the latest definition of monitor, you can listen
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[13:01] Speaker 2: What's simply terrible? McGee? What'd he cut it with a
[13:04] Speaker 2: butcher knife? Hedge clippers are a lawnmower.
[13:07] Speaker 3: I'd just rather not talk about it, if you don't mind.
[13:10] Speaker 2: Well, that's the last time I'll ever send you to
[13:12] Speaker 2: Pierre's for a haircut. Next time you need a haircut,
[13:14] Speaker 2: you just wait for Joe. You hear if it takes
[13:17] Speaker 2: him a year to get straightened out with his wife,
[13:19] Speaker 2: We'll wait for Joe.
[13:21] Speaker 3: Molly. Could we just skip it? I'd like to forget
[13:24] Speaker 3: the whole horrible experience.
[13:26] Speaker 2: I don't blame you. It looks like it was cut
[13:28] Speaker 2: with a rusty spade, good knife, Good night all.
[13:38] Speaker 1: Bibber, McGee and Molly is an NBC Radio Network production
[13:41] Speaker 1: transcribed with Bill Thompson as well as Wimpull and Arthur Q.
[13:44] Speaker 1: Briant as Doctor Gamble. The part of Joe is played
[13:47] Speaker 1: by j Novello and Pierre by Fritz pell Well. That
[13:51] Speaker 1: finishes the week for us, but come Sunday evening, we'll
[13:54] Speaker 1: all be back to help mister McGhee manufacture some homemade
[13:57] Speaker 1: ice cream for the Women's Glove Lawn Party. Listen, John
[14:01] Speaker 1: Wall inviting you to meet me at the Mortimerchop, says
[14:03] Speaker 1: Sunday Night, good Night. Joined the Great Guilder Sleeve and
[14:14] Speaker 1: all his friends to Night on the n b C
[14:16] Speaker 1: Radio Network, a

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