# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Taking Old Timer to Dinner and Movies" (Old Time Radio, 1954)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 18 Oct 2026, 15 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75847233/d0efcb5293bb0a55_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Taking Old Timer to Dinner and Movies,” originally broadcast on August 24, 1954. This local archival recording is identified as episode 972. Fibber and Molly plan a special evening out for the Old Timer, treating their elderly neighbor to dinner and a movie. Jim and Marian Jordan star as Fibber and Molly, with Bill Thompson as the Old Timer, in this 15-minute NBC broadcast sponsored by Tums. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned and mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:39 Original Broadcast 15:01 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: Jim Jordan and Marion Jordan are Fibber and Molly, with
[0:04] Speaker 1: Bill Thompson as the old-timer, in a 15-minute NBC broadcast
[0:06] Speaker 1: sponsored by Tums. Their plans are meant to give their
[0:30] Speaker 1: elderly neighbor a pleasant night on the town, though getting
[0:33] Speaker 1: everyone to dinner and the picture show is quite another matter.
[0:36] Speaker 1: And now, the original broadcast.
[0:39] Speaker 2: It's time for Fibber McGee and Molly. Fibber McGee and
[0:41] Speaker 2: Molly Every weekday at this time, NBC brings you Fibber
[0:52] Speaker 2: McGee and Molly Transcribed. The show is written by Phil
[0:56] Speaker 2: Leslie and Len Levinson and directed by Max Hutto. Fibber
[1:06] Speaker 2: and Molly will be with you in a minute. Acid indigestion,
[1:10] Speaker 2: that's the time for Tums.
[1:12] Speaker 3: Always keep them handy, always carry Tums.
[1:15] Speaker 4: No water, glass, or spoon.
[1:17] Speaker 3: Take them morning, night, or noon.
[1:20] Speaker 4: Buy some Tums.
[1:21] Speaker 3: Try some Tums.
[1:23] Speaker 2: Tums.
[1:25] Speaker 5: Yes, when acid indigestion strikes, that's the time for Tums.
[1:30] Speaker 5: Nothing else is so handy to have around when some
[1:32] Speaker 5: favorite food or too much eating and smoking makes your
[1:35] Speaker 5: stomach act up. Because Tums start to neutralize excess stomach
[1:39] Speaker 5: acid immediately, bring on-the-spot relief in record fast time.
[1:44] Speaker 2: There's no waiting for water, glasses, or spoon.
[1:47] Speaker 5: Just pop a couple of Tums in your mouth the
[1:48] Speaker 5: next time you suffer from acid indigestion, heartburn, or sour stomach.
[1:53] Speaker 2: See how quickly relief comes.
[1:55] Speaker 4: Suffering from heartburn?
[1:57] Speaker 1: Spend a dime for Tums.
[1:58] Speaker 6: Get on-the-spot relief with T-U-M-S, Tums.
[2:16] Speaker 2: It's late afternoon at 79 Whistle Vista when from out
[2:19] Speaker 2: in the kitchen comes a familiar cry.
[2:23] Speaker 7: Grocery man!
[2:25] Speaker 4: Leave him in the kitchen, old-timer.
[2:26] Speaker 7: I did, Johnny. Where's daughter?
[2:30] Speaker 4: She's upstairs.
[2:31] Speaker 6: What's this grocery man routine? Aren't you the grocery boy anymore?
[2:35] Speaker 7: Nope.
[2:37] Speaker 2: Oh?
[2:37] Speaker 7: Johnny, I don't feel like a boy today. Terrible thing
[2:40] Speaker 7: happened to me today. Lady got up and gave me
[2:43] Speaker 7: her seat on a streetcar.
[2:44] Speaker 4: Well, is that bad?
[2:45] Speaker 7: Of all the insulting lollygagging, as if I was too
[2:49] Speaker 7: old to stand on my own two feet. And hers, too,
[2:52] Speaker 7: going around curves. I'll show, folks. As the doctor says
[2:56] Speaker 7: when he examined the child who chewed up the weekly
[2:58] Speaker 7: picture magazine, there's life in this kid yet.
[3:02] Speaker 4: Well, personally, if somebody offers me their seat on a streetcar, I.
[3:05] Speaker 7: I don't want to forget all about it. Let's change
[3:06] Speaker 7: the subject. Can I use your phone?
[3:09] Speaker 4: Sure, go ahead. It's right in there.
[3:10] Speaker 7: Thank you. This is my last delivery for today.
[3:13] Speaker 4: Well, there's a phone book on the table.
[3:15] Speaker 7: Don't need it, Johnny.
[3:16] Speaker 4: Thanks.
[3:17] Speaker 7: Sure been a hot one today. Don't know why people
[3:20] Speaker 7: order such heavy groceries on a hot day.
[3:22] Speaker 4: Hello, Weather Bureau.
[3:23] Speaker 7: Hello. I just wanted to know how high did the
[3:26] Speaker 7: temperature go today?
[3:27] Speaker 8: It reached a high of 91.
[3:29] Speaker 7: 91.
[3:30] Speaker 3: Is that you phoning, McGee?
[3:31] Speaker 7: No, it's me, daughter. Ninety-one today.
[3:35] Speaker 4: Yes, the highest ever recorded for this date.
[3:37] Speaker 7: Set a record. Well, it's nothing I'm going out and celebrate.
[3:40] Speaker 7: It's just another day for me.
[3:41] Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Oldtimer. I thought McGee was in here.
[3:44] Speaker 7: He's in the kitchen, daughter. Yeah, like I say, can't
[3:47] Speaker 7: do nothing about it anyhow. Might as well take a
[3:50] Speaker 7: look around.
[3:50] Speaker 3: McGee, where are you? Oh, there you are.
[3:52] Speaker 4: Yeah, here's the groceries the oldtimer delivered.
[3:55] Speaker 3: I know. See, listen.
[3:57] Speaker 9: Huh?
[3:58] Speaker 3: I just heard him talking on the phone. Do you
[4:00] Speaker 3: know that today is his 91st birthday?
[4:02] Speaker 4: Huh? No, I didn't know.
[4:04] Speaker 3: I just heard him tell somebody. He said he's 91 today.
[4:07] Speaker 8: 91?
[4:07] Speaker 3: And he isn't even going to celebrate. Just another day,
[4:10] Speaker 3: he said.
[4:11] Speaker 4: Boy, if I ever get to be 91, I won't
[4:13] Speaker 4: celebrate either.
[4:14] Speaker 3: Look, let's do something for him. Take him out to dinner.
[4:17] Speaker 3: Maybe a show. After all, when a man gets to
[4:20] Speaker 3: be 91, that's... I.
[4:20] Speaker 4: Wouldn't mention that to him, by the way. He's pretty sensitive.
[4:23] Speaker 6: He came in here storming because some woman got up
[4:25] Speaker 6: and gave him her seat on the streetcar today.
[4:28] Speaker 4: He thinks he's still 21 or something and he... Shh, shh, shh.
[4:30] Speaker 3: Here he comes.
[4:31] Speaker 7: Thanks for the use of the bell telephone, kids. I
[4:33] Speaker 7: better move you on home now.
[4:35] Speaker 4: Oh, sit down, sit down. Don't rush away. Stick around
[4:37] Speaker 4: a while. Yes.
[4:38] Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, we'd like to have you
[4:40] Speaker 3: stay for dinner tonight.
[4:42] Speaker 7: How was that again? Sounded like you said.
[4:45] Speaker 4: Or better still, why don't we all three go out
[4:46] Speaker 4: for a restaurant meal? What do you say?
[4:49] Speaker 7: Oh, now, I ain't got much money, Johnny.
[4:51] Speaker 4: You don't have.
[4:52] Speaker 7: If this is one of them deals of yours like
[4:54] Speaker 7: at Walt's Mall Shop, where you say, I'll flip a coin,
[4:57] Speaker 7: loser pays, I'll take heads, and then you flip that
[4:59] Speaker 7: two-headed half-dollar of yours, I think I'd better go home.
[5:03] Speaker 3: Now, Mr. Oldtimer, we want you to be our guest,
[5:06] Speaker 3: and we'll pay for everything.
[5:07] Speaker 8: Sure.
[5:08] Speaker 7: Well, gee, now, kids, I don't know what to say.
[5:12] Speaker 7: It ain't every day you kids invite me out to dinner.
[5:15] Speaker 7: In fact, it ain't any day. All the years I've
[5:19] Speaker 7: known Johnny here, it's the first time. What's the occasion?
[5:22] Speaker 3: Well, shall we say a certain somebody has reached a
[5:25] Speaker 3: certain age?
[5:26] Speaker 4: No, no, no, Molly, just leave it right there. Well,
[5:29] Speaker 4: how about it, old-timer?
[5:30] Speaker 7: Thank you. You really mean it, kids? You want me
[5:33] Speaker 7: to go with you?
[5:34] Speaker 2: Why, of course.
[5:35] Speaker 3: It wouldn't be a party without you.
[5:37] Speaker 7: Gee, well, you're both so sweet and unselfish. If I
[5:42] Speaker 7: wasn't the strong, silent type of man, I'd probably puddle
[5:47] Speaker 7: up and get plumb overcome with emotion. Excuse me. Must
[5:53] Speaker 7: be my hay fever. Well, come on. I'm starving. What
[5:57] Speaker 7: are we waiting for?
[5:58] Speaker 2: There's more fun with the McGee's shortly. There are many
[6:12] Speaker 2: ways in which we can be courteous when driving. Ways
[6:15] Speaker 2: that will not only demand respect, but also will help
[6:18] Speaker 2: avoid costly accidents on the road. For example, we can
[6:21] Speaker 2: share the road by driving in the proper lane. Nine
[6:25] Speaker 2: out of 100 drivers in fatal traffic accidents ignore this rule.
[6:29] Speaker 2: We can allow ample clearance when passing. Three out of
[6:32] Speaker 2: 100 drivers in fatal traffic accidents ignore this rule. We
[6:35] Speaker 2: can yield the right-of-way to other drivers and pedestrians. Seven
[6:39] Speaker 2: out of 100 drivers in fatal traffic accidents ignore this rule.
[6:42] Speaker 2: We can drive within safe speeds. 28 out of 100
[6:46] Speaker 2: drivers in fatal accidents ignore this rule. We can also
[6:50] Speaker 2: give proper signals for turns and stops, dim our headlights
[6:53] Speaker 2: when meeting or overtaking others, and we can respect all
[6:56] Speaker 2: traffic laws and regulations. Yes, make courtesy your code of
[6:59] Speaker 2: the road. Traffic safety surveys show that courtesy and common
[7:03] Speaker 2: sense when you're at the wheel of your car pay
[7:05] Speaker 2: big dividends in reducing accidents and in saving lives.
[7:20] Speaker 7: Well, now, everything satisfactory here?
[7:22] Speaker 8: Anything else you'd like, sir?
[7:23] Speaker 4: Not me. What about you two?
[7:25] Speaker 3: Couldn't eat another bite.
[7:26] Speaker 7: I'm stuffed like a Christmas goose, kids.
[7:29] Speaker 4: Just give me the bad news, gar song, and break
[7:31] Speaker 4: it to me gently.
[7:32] Speaker 2: Yes, sir. Here you are, sir.
[7:34] Speaker 7: $ 3.
[7:34] Speaker 3: 75. $ 3.
[7:34] Speaker 2: 75, eh?
[7:34] Speaker 3: Okay.
[7:35] Speaker 4: Here's four bucks, bud. Keep the change. A 25-cent tip. Oh,
[7:40] Speaker 4: thank you, sir. You've made me very happy.
[7:48] Speaker 3: Is that sarcasm, waiter?
[7:50] Speaker 2: Oh, no, not at all, ma'am. I mean it.
[7:52] Speaker 7: You see, I bet the captain over there that your
[7:54] Speaker 7: husband wouldn't tip more than 30 cents, and I've just
[7:57] Speaker 7: won five dollars. Oh, Pierre, you owe me a fifth.
[8:00] Speaker 8: Here's a tip.
[8:01] Speaker 2: Two bits.
[8:02] Speaker 4: Oh, smart aleck. By rights, I ought to make him
[8:05] Speaker 4: split his winnings with me because... Well, come on. Let's
[8:08] Speaker 4: go find ourselves a good movie, huh?
[8:10] Speaker 3: Oh, that's fine with me, McGee.
[8:11] Speaker 7: Sure was a fine dinner, kids. You're mighty nice.
[8:14] Speaker 2: Well, well, well.
[8:15] Speaker 7: Hello there, Molly.
[8:16] Speaker 2: Dr.
[8:16] Speaker 3: Gamble.
[8:17] Speaker 8: Hi, old-timer. Hi, Doc. Hi, Doc. What are you three
[8:20] Speaker 8: doing downtown?
[8:21] Speaker 3: We're just having a small celebration, Doctor. Somebody's having a birthday.
[8:24] Speaker 8: Well, congratulations, whoever.
[8:26] Speaker 4: Going to a movie now, Doccy. Want to join us?
[8:29] Speaker 3: Yes, come along with us, Doctor.
[8:30] Speaker 8: Oh, thanks, kids, but I can't. I got a date tonight.
[8:33] Speaker 7: Is that so?
[8:35] Speaker 2: Who with, Doc?
[8:35] Speaker 7: Anybody I know?
[8:37] Speaker 8: I doubt it, old-timer. I'm taking Miss Cuddleson from the house.
[8:40] Speaker 7: Cuddleson? Not Boopsy Cuddleson? Kind of a skittish blonde that
[8:44] Speaker 7: keeps getting her knuckles wound up in the mangle at
[8:45] Speaker 7: the laundry?
[8:47] Speaker 9: No, this Miss Cuddleson is the head nurse at the hospital,
[8:50] Speaker 9: and she's a very attractive, very dignified.
[8:52] Speaker 4: Sure it ain't the same girl.
[8:54] Speaker 7: Boopsy works the night shift at the laundry alongside her girlfriend, Bessie.
[8:57] Speaker 7: If I'd work days at the hospital, I'll ask her.
[8:59] Speaker 4: No, no, no.
[9:00] Speaker 8: Believe me, it is not the same Miss Cuddleson.
[9:03] Speaker 3: You'll have to bring the young lady over to see
[9:05] Speaker 3: us sometime, Doctor. We'd like to meet her.
[9:07] Speaker 6: Yeah, we can entertain her with a lot of interesting
[9:09] Speaker 6: anecdotes about you, Doccy, old boy.
[9:12] Speaker 4: Bring her over. We'll show her a hilarious time. I
[9:14] Speaker 4: can tell her all about you and on that time.
[9:16] Speaker 8: Oh, that's very nice of you, Sonny, but I'm a
[9:18] Speaker 8: modest man. Oh.
[9:19] Speaker 9: I'd be embarrassed standing up there in front of the
[9:21] Speaker 9: television cameras taking all that applause while the mayor.
[9:24] Speaker 8: Handed me the key to the city and the band played.
[9:27] Speaker 3: What are you talking about, Doctor?
[9:28] Speaker 4: Now, what goes on?
[9:29] Speaker 3: We just asked you to bring your girl over some
[9:31] Speaker 3: evening and.
[9:32] Speaker 8: Well, you can see what had happened, Molly.
[9:34] Speaker 9: Little blabber here would start dreaming up embarrassing stories about
[9:37] Speaker 9: me to tell Miss Cuddleson. I'd warn him a couple
[9:40] Speaker 9: of times, which would only make him worse, and I'd
[9:42] Speaker 9: undoubtedly wind up strangling him with my bare hands.
[9:44] Speaker 3: Oh, dear.
[9:45] Speaker 9: Naturally, that would earn the undying gratitude of the entire city.
[9:49] Speaker 9: There'd be dancing in the streets, the mayor would throw
[9:51] Speaker 9: a banquet in my honor, and I'd be embarrassed standing
[9:53] Speaker 9: there in front of the television cameras.
[9:55] Speaker 4: Oh, cut it out, cut it out, you big fake.
[9:58] Speaker 4: Come on, Molly, we'll be late for the movies. I
[10:00] Speaker 4: got to run along anyhow.
[10:01] Speaker 8: Miss Cuddleson's expecting me.
[10:02] Speaker 7: So long, kids. Goodbye. So long, Doc. Give my regards
[10:05] Speaker 7: to Boopsy. What movie are we going to see, kids?
[10:08] Speaker 7: I'll treat.
[10:09] Speaker 4: No, no, no, you won't. This is my night to
[10:11] Speaker 4: pay for everything.
[10:12] Speaker 7: That ain't fair, Johnny. By rights, I ought to be
[10:14] Speaker 7: the one paying.
[10:15] Speaker 3: If you two Diamond Jim Brady's will permit me, this
[10:18] Speaker 3: will be my treat. There are all kinds of good
[10:20] Speaker 3: movies in town.
[10:21] Speaker 7: Now, if it was up to me, I'd go to
[10:23] Speaker 7: see them Western pictures at the Empress. Two dandy Hoot
[10:25] Speaker 7: Gibson films.
[10:26] Speaker 4: Hoot Gibson? Aren't those silent pictures?
[10:29] Speaker 7: You wouldn't even notice it, Johnny. Not with the cat
[10:31] Speaker 7: calls and peanut shucking and popcorn chomping that goes on.
[10:35] Speaker 7: Come on, let's go. This Hoot Gibson is a new
[10:38] Speaker 7: kind of cowboy. He can't play a guitar. Well, kids,
[10:59] Speaker 7: it's just been a wonderful evening. Don't know how to
[11:01] Speaker 7: thank you. Ain't had so much fun since the night
[11:04] Speaker 7: Mama fell in the starch barrel and come home from
[11:06] Speaker 7: the laundry stiff.
[11:09] Speaker 4: Ah, forget it.
[11:10] Speaker 7: I'll never forget it, son. You kids been so wonderful
[11:13] Speaker 7: to me. The fine food, the movie show, and this
[11:16] Speaker 7: here necktie Johnny bought me at the Bond Town.
[11:18] Speaker 3: Well, we just wanted you to have a little present
[11:20] Speaker 3: of some kind.
[11:21] Speaker 7: It's just been wonderful. Why should you give me a present, Johnny,
[11:25] Speaker 7: instead of the other way around? I just don't know.
[11:27] Speaker 4: Well, that's simple. I gave it to you because it's
[11:29] Speaker 4: your birthday today.
[11:31] Speaker 7: You got a little mixed up, son. It's your birthday today.
[11:34] Speaker 4: My birthday? Whatever gave you that idea?
[11:36] Speaker 7: Daughter here back in the kitchen said, and I quote,
[11:40] Speaker 7: a certain somebody has reached a certain age.
[11:42] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[11:43] Speaker 7: Well, I knew it wasn't me because I celebrate my
[11:46] Speaker 7: birthday on the first day of the year. I was
[11:49] Speaker 7: the original New Year's baby, kids, so it must be
[11:52] Speaker 7: Johnny here.
[11:53] Speaker 3: But I heard you on the telephone telling somebody about
[11:56] Speaker 3: being 91 today.
[11:58] Speaker 7: No, no, I wasn't 91 today. The temperature was 91.
[12:02] Speaker 4: What? Why, that's a heck of a thing to celebrate.
[12:05] Speaker 7: Wait a minute. You thought I was 91 years old?
[12:10] Speaker 7: Do I look 91? Why, I've never been so insulted
[12:13] Speaker 7: in my life. Do I look like I was 91?
[12:16] Speaker 4: Do I act like 91?
[12:18] Speaker 7: Why, I'm just a kid, the baby in the family.
[12:21] Speaker 7: I ain't been so insulted in all the 89 years
[12:23] Speaker 7: of my life.
[12:24] Speaker 8: Me, 91.
[12:28] Speaker 3: ¶ ¶.
[12:40] Speaker 2: We'll say goodnight to Fibber and Molly in a moment.
[12:44] Speaker 2: From across the seas, NBC brings you the very best
[12:46] Speaker 2: of the English stage in a series called Theatre Royal,
[12:49] Speaker 2: and you can hear it every Wednesday night. You'll hear
[12:52] Speaker 2: Sir Lawrence Olivier on tomorrow's Theatre Royal production, and that
[12:55] Speaker 2: means the very finest in dramatic entertainment. And, of course,
[12:59] Speaker 2: there's laughter and quiz in the Wednesday night lineup, too.
[13:02] Speaker 2: The laughter is supplied by Groucho Marx, and no more
[13:05] Speaker 2: need be said because everybody knows how much fun Groucho's
[13:08] Speaker 2: unexpected ad-libs are. It's a show called The Best of Groucho,
[13:12] Speaker 2: and it's yours tomorrow night. The quiz is supplied by
[13:16] Speaker 2: Bill Cullen's Walk a Mile, and it's a lively half
[13:19] Speaker 2: hour that will keep you mentally exercised as well as entertained.
[13:22] Speaker 2: So you can't go wrong when you play Walk a Mile.
[13:26] Speaker 2: That's tomorrow and every Wednesday evening for Theatre Royal, The
[13:29] Speaker 2: Best of Groucho, and Walk a Mile. And now, a reminder.
[13:34] Speaker 2: Just three weeks from tonight, Lux Radio Theatre returns to
[13:37] Speaker 2: the air, and you'll hear it on NBC.
[13:48] Speaker 3: Well, it's taught me a lesson, McGee, not to listen
[13:50] Speaker 3: to other people's phone conversations and not to jump to conclusions.
[13:53] Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a mix-up. You thought it was his age
[13:57] Speaker 6: and it was just the temperature. Temperature 91. Boy, that's
[14:00] Speaker 6: a hot one.
[14:02] Speaker 4: Don't you get it?
[14:02] Speaker 3: No, McGee.
[14:04] Speaker 4: Okay. Good night.
[14:05] Speaker 3: Good night, all.
[14:13] Speaker 2: Fibber McGee and Molly is an NBC Radio Network production
[14:16] Speaker 2: transcribed with Bill Thompson as the old-timer, Arthur Q. Bryan
[14:20] Speaker 2: as Dr. Gamble, and Jack Crucian as the waiter. Don't
[14:24] Speaker 2: forget to hear Fibber and Molly on Sunday nights. Yes,
[14:28] Speaker 2: Sundays through Thursdays, beginning this coming Sunday. We'll be back tomorrow, too,
[14:32] Speaker 2: with the misadventures of Fibber McGee and Molly. This is
[14:36] Speaker 2: John Wall saying good night.
[14:46] Speaker 7: Get behind the headlines to the heart of the news
[14:48] Speaker 7: on most NBC radio stations.
[15:00] Speaker 1: We've heard Fibber McGee and Molly taking old-timer to dinner
[15:04] Speaker 1: and movies.
[15:04] Speaker 2: Good night.

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