# Fibber McGee and Molly - "Traffic Safety Campaign" (Old Time Radio, 1953)

An episode of [Fibber McGee and Molly | Old Time Radio](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1858238532), 26 Oct 2026, 30 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/76000538/c4d0dc4df52c7cbe_mastered.mp3

Fibber McGee and Molly presents “Traffic Safety Campaign,” episode 737 of the classic NBC comedy series, originally broadcast on June 9, 1953. Jim Jordan stars as Fibber McGee alongside Marian Jordan as Molly, with Harlow Wilcox as announcer. Wistful Vista launches a traffic-safety campaign designed to reward careful drivers and crack down on unsafe ones. The police commissioner hopes Fibber will stay off the road, but Fibber’s ideas about traffic lights and driving rules soon put him at the center of the town’s strict new enforcement. Fibber McGee and Molly presents the original broadcast with a newly produced contextual introduction, a short closing announcement, and gently cleaned/mastered audio for a more consistent listening experience. Chapters: 00:00 Victor Sterling Introduction 00:55 Original Broadcast 29:45 Closing Support Old Time Retro Radio at https://www.patreon.com/oldtimeretroradio

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: June 9th, 1953 brought Fibber McGee and Molly within the
[0:05] Speaker 1: final four broadcasts of its weekly half-hour run. In episode 737,
[0:11] Speaker 1: Traffic Safety Campaign, Wistful Vista launches a town-wide drive to
[0:17] Speaker 1: reward careful motorists and penalize unsafe ones. The police commissioner
[0:22] Speaker 1: has a practical suggestion for Fibber McGee, stay home rather
[0:27] Speaker 1: than add to a stack of citations. But Fibber steps
[0:30] Speaker 1: into the campaign's rules and traffic light logic, with Molly
[0:34] Speaker 1: McGee supplying the steadier view. Jim and Marion Jordan head
[0:38] Speaker 1: the cast as Fibber and Molly, with Harlow Wilcox announcing.
[0:42] Speaker 1: Max Hutto directed this NBC broadcast, sponsored by Reynolds Aluminum.
[0:47] Speaker 1: From June 9th, 1953, Fibber, McGee, and Molly. And now,
[0:52] Speaker 1: the original broadcast.
[0:54] Speaker 2: The Reynolds Aluminum Program with Fibber, McGee, and Molly. The
[1:05] Speaker 2: Reynolds Metals Company, makers of Reynolds Aluminum, presents Fibber McGee
[1:09] Speaker 2: and Molly, transcribed. The show is written by Phil Leslie
[1:11] Speaker 2: and Keith Fowler and directed by Max Hutto with music
[1:14] Speaker 2: by the King's Men and Billy Mills Orchestra.
[1:17] Speaker 3: © BF-WATCH TV 2021.
[1:39] Speaker 2: What every farmer wants is more income, less outgo. And
[1:42] Speaker 2: that's exactly what you get with Reynolds Lifetime Aluminum Roofing
[1:46] Speaker 2: and Siding.
[1:47] Speaker 4: A two-way profit stretch.
[1:49] Speaker 2: You get more income because aluminum's heat reflection keeps your
[1:52] Speaker 2: barns and poultry houses cooler in summer. And that means
[1:55] Speaker 2: higher milk yield, more eggs, more weight gain per feed
[1:59] Speaker 2: dollar for hogs, beef cattle, broilers. Then you cut costs, too,
[2:03] Speaker 2: with Reynolds' aluminum roofing and siding. No painting, practically no
[2:07] Speaker 2: maintenance year after year. Reynolds' strong, solid-rolled sheets are easy
[2:11] Speaker 2: to apply, which cuts costs again. Those are all good
[2:15] Speaker 2: reasons why today's low-cost, labor-saving farm buildings are being designed
[2:19] Speaker 2: with aluminum.
[2:20] Speaker 4: Build this modern way yourself.
[2:22] Speaker 2: Write for descriptive literature on the new pole barns designed
[2:26] Speaker 2: by Reynolds Farm Institute.
[2:28] Speaker 4: Just drop a.
[2:29] Speaker 2: Postcard to Farm Buildings, Reynolds Metals Company, Louisville 1, Kentucky.
[3:00] Speaker 2: There's an old saying that two is company and three
[3:02] Speaker 2: is a crowd. But that's not always true, because here
[3:06] Speaker 2: at 79 Wistful Vista is a crowd of three, and
[3:09] Speaker 2: only one of them is company. It's merely trivia, having
[3:13] Speaker 2: tea and conversation with Fibber McGee and Mollie.
[3:26] Speaker 5: Sure you won't have another slug of tea, Mr.
[3:28] Speaker 4: Mayor?
[3:29] Speaker 6: No, no, thank you, Molly. I've already had two cups.
[3:32] Speaker 3: Three.
[3:33] Speaker 5: McGee, don't be rude to him.
[3:35] Speaker 1: I'm not being rude.
[3:36] Speaker 3: I'm just being accurate. All right, guys, don't begrudge the
[3:39] Speaker 3: guy another shot of oolong. It's just dry leaves and
[3:42] Speaker 3: hot water. Go on, Latrivia, take a fourth cup.
[3:47] Speaker 6: No, no, thank you. I must get back to the city.
[3:50] Speaker 4: Hall and take care of.
[3:51] Speaker 3: Ah, relax, Latrivia. The city hall will still be there
[3:53] Speaker 3: when you get back. Even that bunch of run-down ward
[3:56] Speaker 3: heels you got working for you won't steal the building.
[3:59] Speaker 4: Or will they?
[4:00] Speaker 6: Well, let's just say that they haven't so far. Well,
[4:07] Speaker 6: thank you so much, Molly. It's been very pleasant.
[4:10] Speaker 5: Good of you to drop in, Your Honor.
[4:11] Speaker 3: What's all the rush, Homer?
[4:12] Speaker 6: Well, I'm pretty busy today with our traffic campaign, McGee.
[4:16] Speaker 4: With your what?
[4:17] Speaker 5: What traffic campaign?
[4:18] Speaker 4: Oh, didn't you know? No.
[4:19] Speaker 6: We're starting to crack down on careless drivers. Very intensive campaign.
[4:24] Speaker 6: Drastic penalties for every violation. We put so many men
[4:28] Speaker 6: on motorcycles, we'll soon have the only bow-legged police force
[4:31] Speaker 6: in the country.
[4:33] Speaker 5: Well, isn't that wonderful?
[4:35] Speaker 3: Well, it's about time. People are beginning to think them
[4:37] Speaker 3: white lines down the middle of the pavement are from
[4:39] Speaker 3: a leaky milk wagon.
[4:44] Speaker 4: Exactly.
[4:45] Speaker 6: The only way our fire department can find a hydrant
[4:48] Speaker 6: these days is to look behind a parked car. But
[4:51] Speaker 6: starting today.
[4:52] Speaker 4: We're going to.
[4:53] Speaker 5: Oh, pardon me, Mr.
[4:53] Speaker 4: Mayor.
[4:53] Speaker 5: Come in. Come in.
[4:55] Speaker 7: Oh, hello, Ole.
[4:56] Speaker 3: Oh, hi, Ole.
[4:57] Speaker 4: Well, good morning, Mrs., and the same to you, McGee. Well,
[5:00] Speaker 4: you too, Mr. Mayor.
[5:02] Speaker 6: Good morning, Ole.
[5:03] Speaker 3: May Mrs.
[5:04] Speaker 8: Ask me to return this shawl she borrowed to go
[5:06] Speaker 8: to the kindergarten play yesterday, Mrs.
[5:08] Speaker 3: Thank you.
[5:08] Speaker 5: Oh, my stole. Well, I'm glad she could use it.
[5:11] Speaker 5: How was the entertainment, Ole?
[5:12] Speaker 7: Nice?
[5:13] Speaker 4: Oh, it was very amusing, Mrs. Thirty-two little kids, all
[5:17] Speaker 4: six years old.
[5:18] Speaker 6: The entertainment was mostly.
[5:19] Speaker 4: The teacher breaking up fights and wiping 32 little noses.
[5:25] Speaker 6: Sounds like good, clean fun.
[5:30] Speaker 3: What'd your kid do, Ollie?
[5:31] Speaker 4: Recite? What else? Yeah. The teacher gets Little Ollie up
[5:35] Speaker 4: on the stage and.
[5:35] Speaker 8: Says, Now we have Humpty Dumpty by Little Ollie Svensson.
[5:38] Speaker 5: He must have been cute.
[5:40] Speaker 8: So the teacher says, Humpty Dumpty sat on a.
[5:43] Speaker 4: sat on a.
[5:45] Speaker 8: And then she waits, and little Oli spits out a
[5:47] Speaker 8: hunk of necktie and kicks the little girl next to.
[5:51] Speaker 7: Him.
[5:51] Speaker 3: He must have killed the audience.
[5:52] Speaker 4: His mama was going to kill him, I know that. Finally,
[5:56] Speaker 4: the teacher says, come on, Oli. Humpty Dumpty took a big.
[5:59] Speaker 8: And little Oli says, fall, and everybody claps hands like 60. Oh,
[6:03] Speaker 8: he's a smart little fella, that kid.
[6:07] Speaker 3: Smart, you call that smart?
[6:08] Speaker 4: Sure, the teacher does all the work, and little Oli
[6:10] Speaker 4: tooks all the bows. I tell the missus that boy'll
[6:15] Speaker 4: grow up to be mayor of this town someday. Yeah.
[6:23] Speaker 4: Tell him he can have it any day now. Well,
[6:26] Speaker 4: thanks again for the shawl, missus.
[6:27] Speaker 8: My missus was going to bring it back herself, but
[6:29] Speaker 8: she was driving downtown this morning and she had a
[6:32] Speaker 8: lot of trouble with the law.
[6:33] Speaker 3: My gosh, they caught her early, did they? What was
[6:35] Speaker 3: she doing, speeding?
[6:36] Speaker 4: No, she made a left.
[6:37] Speaker 8: Turn a little short at 14th and Oak and the
[6:39] Speaker 8: door handle clipped two brass buttons off the front end
[6:41] Speaker 8: of a policeman's.
[6:44] Speaker 5: My, was she pretty upset about it, Ollie?
[6:47] Speaker 4: Oh, but the policeman sure was upset. He went badge
[6:50] Speaker 4: over belt buckle three.
[6:51] Speaker 8: Times and landed on his feet with his pencil in
[6:54] Speaker 8: one hand and his ticket.
[6:54] Speaker 4: Book in the other. Well, I go see if I
[6:57] Speaker 4: can bail it out now. So long, all you fellas.
[6:59] Speaker 2: Goodbye, Ollie.
[7:07] Speaker 6: Well, he's a very philosophical chap, Swenson, isn't he?
[7:09] Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, but I don't hold that against him.
[7:13] Speaker 4: I like Oli.
[7:14] Speaker 5: Oh, do you have to go, Mr.
[7:15] Speaker 9: Mayor?
[7:15] Speaker 4: Oh, yes, yes, Irene.
[7:16] Speaker 6: I must get back and check up on our traffic drive, Molly.
[7:19] Speaker 6: All I can say is it's a good thing you're
[7:21] Speaker 6: not driving today, McGee.
[7:23] Speaker 4: Oh, it is, eh?
[7:24] Speaker 3: Why is it so good that I'm not driving and
[7:26] Speaker 3: who says I ain't?
[7:27] Speaker 5: Now, McGee, he just meant.
[7:28] Speaker 3: I know what he meant. He meant I was bound
[7:30] Speaker 3: to get pinched for something. Am I right, Latrivia?
[7:32] Speaker 4: Quite.
[7:33] Speaker 10: Why, McGee is a wonderful driver, Mr. Mayor, as long
[7:36] Speaker 10: as you don't get in his way.
[7:37] Speaker 5: Bet you.
[7:39] Speaker 3: If you think them cops of yours are going to
[7:40] Speaker 3: keep me bottled up in the house today, you're barking
[7:42] Speaker 3: up the wrong kettle of fish. That's what you're barking
[7:44] Speaker 3: up the wrong kettle.
[7:46] Speaker 6: Well, I didn't say that, McGee.
[7:47] Speaker 4: I merely said that it would be a good idea.
[7:48] Speaker 10: Anyway, McGee, you told me you were going to stay
[7:50] Speaker 10: inside today and relax.
[7:51] Speaker 3: How can I relax when the police force in this
[7:53] Speaker 3: town challenges my constitutional rights? I know the traffic regulations
[7:57] Speaker 3: in this burg as good as they do.
[7:58] Speaker 2: Better.
[7:59] Speaker 3: Every time I drive downtown, they explain a new one
[8:01] Speaker 3: to me.
[8:05] Speaker 6: I'm quite familiar with your driving, McGee. If you went
[8:08] Speaker 6: out today, you'd have a citation before you got out
[8:10] Speaker 6: of your own driveway.
[8:12] Speaker 3: How much dough you got that says so?
[8:14] Speaker 4: Five dollars. Okay.
[8:16] Speaker 3: You just made yourself a little wager, fella. By George,
[8:18] Speaker 3: I'll show you what an honest taxpayer can get away with. Hey, Molly,
[8:21] Speaker 3: you get the car out of the garage while I
[8:22] Speaker 3: get my keys.
[8:23] Speaker 10: It is out of the garage, dearie. You didn't put
[8:25] Speaker 10: it away when you came home last night.
[8:27] Speaker 4: I didn't?
[8:27] Speaker 3: Oh, well, that saves me some time. Where's my car keys?
[8:30] Speaker 5: You left them in the car.
[8:32] Speaker 6: That must be the reason.
[8:35] Speaker 3: Must be the reason for what, Latrivia?
[8:36] Speaker 6: There's a policeman out in front putting a ticket on
[8:39] Speaker 6: your windshield. Leaving your keys in the ignition is a
[8:42] Speaker 6: violation in Wistful Vista, you know. You can just mail
[8:45] Speaker 6: me the five dollars. And stay off the street today.
[8:49] Speaker 6: Good day, Molly.
[8:50] Speaker 4: Billy Mills from.
[8:54] Speaker 6: The orchestra, and I'm just wild about Harry.
[9:11] Speaker 4: Thank you. Thank you.
[9:50] Speaker 5: Thank you.
[10:27] Speaker 2: Thank you.
[11:03] Speaker 3: What's the speedometer say, kiddo? I don't dare take my
[11:06] Speaker 3: eyes off the road.
[11:06] Speaker 5: Thirteen miles an hour. Huh? Better slow down, dearie. Here's
[11:10] Speaker 5: the red light.
[11:11] Speaker 4: Okay.
[11:13] Speaker 5: Why did you shut your motor off?
[11:15] Speaker 3: Because I'm no fool, that's why. No cop is going
[11:18] Speaker 3: to dash up to me and say I didn't come
[11:19] Speaker 3: to a full stop. I'll wave the ignition key right
[11:23] Speaker 3: in his big red puss and dare him to pinch me.
[11:25] Speaker 10: You know, there's a policeman every ten feet all over town, too.
[11:28] Speaker 3: I know it.
[11:29] Speaker 10: I haven't seen so many stars since I fell out
[11:31] Speaker 10: of the window while shaking a rug.
[11:34] Speaker 3: Me either, but it isn't the number of them that
[11:36] Speaker 3: annoys me. It's their sneaky tactics. They always come up
[11:38] Speaker 3: behind you. They never step out in front of a
[11:40] Speaker 3: speeding car and tell you.
[11:41] Speaker 5: The light is green, dearie.
[11:43] Speaker 4: Huh?
[11:43] Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. You watch for the stoplights now, Molly. I
[11:48] Speaker 3: want to keep my eyes on the road.
[11:49] Speaker 5: All right, if a policeman... Oh, McGee, look. Isn't that Mr.
[11:52] Speaker 5: Wimple standing on the corner?
[11:53] Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[11:54] Speaker 3: I'll pick him up.
[11:57] Speaker 5: Oh, take it easy, McGee.
[11:58] Speaker 3: That's okay, baby. I had my hand out. I'm legal. Hiya, Wimple.
[12:02] Speaker 7: Hello, Mr.
[12:02] Speaker 2: Wimple.
[12:03] Speaker 5: Can we give you a lift?
[12:04] Speaker 7: Hello, folks. Yes, thanks very much. I see you're driving
[12:17] Speaker 7: very carefully, Mr. McGee.
[12:19] Speaker 5: He certainly is, Mr. Wimple.
[12:21] Speaker 10: You could change tires at this speed.
[12:27] Speaker 3: I'm taking no chances today, Wimple. I even took the
[12:29] Speaker 3: seat covers off. They were fast coloreds.
[12:34] Speaker 10: You know, you were smart not to be out in
[12:35] Speaker 10: your car today, Mr.
[12:36] Speaker 5: Wimple.
[12:37] Speaker 10: I understand they got a man this morning for driving
[12:39] Speaker 10: under the influence of his wife.
[12:41] Speaker 7: Well, they won't get me again today, by gracious. I've
[12:46] Speaker 7: had my ticket. I was up early this morning.
[12:48] Speaker 3: No kidding, Wim.
[12:49] Speaker 4: Speeding?
[12:50] Speaker 7: No, just walking.
[12:52] Speaker 2: Walking?
[12:52] Speaker 5: You got arrested for walking?
[12:54] Speaker 4: Yes.
[12:55] Speaker 7: Isn't that silly? You see, I was just walking across
[12:58] Speaker 7: an intersection, reading my bird book.
[13:02] Speaker 3: Your what, Wim?
[13:03] Speaker 7: My bird book. And then it happened.
[13:08] Speaker 5: What happened?
[13:10] Speaker 7: The traffic policeman came over and asked me what I
[13:12] Speaker 7: was doing. I said nothing, just reading my bird book.
[13:15] Speaker 7: I'm a bird watcher. And he said, what a coincidence.
[13:18] Speaker 3: So am I.
[13:19] Speaker 7: I've been watching Jays walking all day long, and you're
[13:22] Speaker 7: one of them, and here's a ticket that'll cost you
[13:23] Speaker 7: $ 5 and plus. and he blew a blast on his
[13:30] Speaker 7: whistle and balled up a junior out of a big
[13:32] Speaker 7: boy in a Buick.
[13:34] Speaker 10: Now, you see, McGee, they are giving tickets for everything.
[13:37] Speaker 3: No, not to me.
[13:38] Speaker 4: They ain't.
[13:39] Speaker 5: I know my rights. Look out, red light.
[13:42] Speaker 3: Pretty quick stop, eh, Wimp?
[13:44] Speaker 5: Hey, where is Wimp?
[13:46] Speaker 2: Here I am, Mr.
[13:46] Speaker 4: McGee.
[13:47] Speaker 7: He stopped so quickly, I fell off the seat. Did
[13:51] Speaker 7: we hit somebody?
[13:52] Speaker 8: No, Mr.
[13:52] Speaker 5: Wimple, it's just a stoplight. All right, McGee, it's turning green.
[13:57] Speaker 7: So am I, Mrs.
[13:58] Speaker 3: McGee.
[14:00] Speaker 7: May I get out of here? Thank you.
[14:05] Speaker 3: Is this where you wanted to go, Wynt? Yes.
[14:08] Speaker 7: Wherever it is, this is it. But I hope you
[14:13] Speaker 7: don't get any citations. Goodbye now.
[14:15] Speaker 4: Bye, Mr.
[14:15] Speaker 7: McGee.
[14:22] Speaker 5: You know, I think you frightened Mr. Ripple a little, dearie.
[14:24] Speaker 7: Ah, patah.
[14:25] Speaker 3: I never drove more careful in my life. That guy
[14:27] Speaker 3: gets frightened at card tricks.
[14:29] Speaker 5: Well, lots of people. McGee, your engine is smoking.
[14:32] Speaker 3: Oh, why not? It's old enough. I guess driving so
[14:36] Speaker 3: slow in second gear kind of heaves.
[14:37] Speaker 4: Her up a little bit, though.
[14:38] Speaker 3: I'll park till it cools off.
[14:42] Speaker 5: There's a policeman watching you.
[14:43] Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
[14:44] Speaker 5: And looking at his watch.
[14:45] Speaker 7: Yeah, I saw the big ox.
[14:47] Speaker 4: Don't worry.
[14:47] Speaker 3: This is a ten-minute parking zone. And just so he
[14:50] Speaker 3: don't get the idea he's got me buffaloed, I'm going
[14:52] Speaker 3: to sit right here. Oh, hey, here comes Wilcox. Oh, yes.
[14:55] Speaker 5: Hello, Mr. Wilcox.
[14:56] Speaker 4: Hi, Molly. Hi.
[14:57] Speaker 2: Hey, don't look now, pal, but there are two policemen
[15:00] Speaker 2: down the street who've got their eyes on you.
[15:02] Speaker 3: So what? I'm parked legal. I got nine minutes left
[15:05] Speaker 3: in this zone. Hey, did they put the sleeve on
[15:06] Speaker 3: you yet, Junior?
[15:07] Speaker 4: Yep. Over parking. Oh, I've had quite a day today, pal.
[15:11] Speaker 3: Yeah, what happened, Hilo?
[15:12] Speaker 4: Well, the cop was making out my ticket, you see.
[15:14] Speaker 6: Uh-huh.
[15:14] Speaker 2: And he happened to ask me what business I was in.
[15:17] Speaker 5: That was a fatal mistake.
[15:18] Speaker 7: Yeah.
[15:19] Speaker 2: Well, I thought real fast, and I said, I'm in
[15:21] Speaker 2: the protection business, I said. I sell protection. And he said, oh-ho,
[15:25] Speaker 2: a racket guy, eh? Well, let's just go tell that
[15:28] Speaker 2: to the judge, he said.
[15:29] Speaker 3: My gosh, that was pretty stupid of you, Junior. Took
[15:31] Speaker 3: you down, did he?
[15:32] Speaker 2: By the collar of my coat.
[15:34] Speaker 5: Heavenly days.
[15:36] Speaker 2: You kids should have seen me in that courtroom, pleading
[15:38] Speaker 2: my own case.
[15:39] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[15:39] Speaker 4: I was dynamite.
[15:40] Speaker 3: Oh, I bet you were.
[15:41] Speaker 2: Your Honor, I said, what is the greatest institution in America?
[15:44] Speaker 4: The American home, I said. Yeah.
[15:47] Speaker 10: You thought that speech of yourself?
[15:49] Speaker 2: Well, I may have read it someplace, Molly. I sell
[15:53] Speaker 2: protection for that home, I said. Protection through the use
[15:56] Speaker 2: of Reynolds aluminum.
[15:57] Speaker 3: Oh, if that ain't dragging it in by the.
[15:58] Speaker 4: Protection against summer heat. With Reynolds reflective insulation.
[16:03] Speaker 2: Protection against all kinds of weather through the use of
[16:06] Speaker 2: aluminum windows with their combination screens and storm sash. Protection
[16:10] Speaker 2: against sticking and warping with aluminum doors.
[16:12] Speaker 10: Must have created quite a stir in the courtroom when
[16:15] Speaker 10: you took off in the left field like that.
[16:17] Speaker 2: Oh, I had them spellbound. I turned to the women
[16:19] Speaker 2: in the courtroom and I said, Ladies, close your eyes
[16:22] Speaker 2: and picture the home of your dreams.
[16:24] Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's where they should have been, too, instead
[16:26] Speaker 3: of hanging around the courtroom.
[16:29] Speaker 2: Picture lovely, colorful aluminum awnings that shade every window, I said.
[16:33] Speaker 2: As you walk up the steps to your aluminum door,
[16:36] Speaker 2: your husband carries you across an aluminum threshold into a
[16:39] Speaker 2: living room where the baseboards are gleaming, shining, everlasting aluminum. Well,
[16:44] Speaker 2: I tell you, a cheer rang out through the courtroom.
[16:48] Speaker 7: Who chairs?
[16:49] Speaker 4: I did.
[16:50] Speaker 7: Oh, I see.
[16:53] Speaker 4: Well, then I went on.
[16:54] Speaker 2: I said.
[16:54] Speaker 3: Oh, there's more.
[16:55] Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[17:01] Speaker 2: I said the doorknobs and locks in your modern home
[17:03] Speaker 2: are aluminum.
[17:04] Speaker 4: Oh?
[17:04] Speaker 2: The ducts in your heating and ventilating system, the gutters,
[17:06] Speaker 2: the downspouts, even the nails the house is built with
[17:10] Speaker 2: are all made of that modern, everlasting metal, aluminum.
[17:13] Speaker 4: Reynolds Aluminum.
[17:15] Speaker 2: Then I took a dramatic pause and waited for someone
[17:18] Speaker 2: to speak.
[17:19] Speaker 4: Who spoke? The judge. He said, $ 10 in cost. See
[17:23] Speaker 4: you later, kids.
[17:25] Speaker 3: Oh, boy, that dirty sneaky. That guy makes that stuff up.
[17:37] Speaker 5: Well, somebody does, that's for sure.
[17:41] Speaker 10: The second time that policeman has gone around the block
[17:43] Speaker 10: on his motorcycle. I don't like the way he looks
[17:46] Speaker 10: at it.
[17:46] Speaker 3: Oh, don't let that worry you, Snooki. I'm legal in
[17:48] Speaker 3: this spot for three minutes yet. Oh, hi, Doc.
[17:50] Speaker 10: Well, Dr.
[17:51] Speaker 8: Gamble.
[17:51] Speaker 5: Hello, Doctor.
[17:52] Speaker 4: Hello, Molly.
[17:53] Speaker 3: What are you doing out on the street in plain
[17:55] Speaker 3: sight of all these policemen, Leadfoot? I hope you have
[17:59] Speaker 3: your catcher's mitt with you.
[18:01] Speaker 4: Catcher's mitt?
[18:02] Speaker 3: Yeah, the way you drive, they'll undoubtedly throw the book
[18:04] Speaker 3: at you today.
[18:05] Speaker 4: Oh, yeah?
[18:07] Speaker 5: Oh, he's so safe today, he scares me, doctor. How
[18:09] Speaker 5: are you making out, or should I ask?
[18:11] Speaker 7: As a matter of fact, my dear, they got me.
[18:13] Speaker 2: Good.
[18:14] Speaker 3: I was handed the first traffic ticket today that I've
[18:17] Speaker 3: had since medical school when we drove the new motorized
[18:20] Speaker 3: wheelchair through three stoplights at 4 a.m.
[18:25] Speaker 5: Oh, that's too bad, Doctor. What was it for?
[18:27] Speaker 3: Well, we usually had two or three accident cases an
[18:30] Speaker 3: hour at the hospital.
[18:31] Speaker 6: This morning, not a one came in.
[18:33] Speaker 5: Oh, that's wonderful.
[18:34] Speaker 3: Well, it was very restful, but I was puzzled. I
[18:37] Speaker 3: finally jumped in my car, raced downtown to see what
[18:39] Speaker 3: was going on, and got a ticket for speeding.
[18:43] Speaker 5: Well, that is a shame.
[18:44] Speaker 3: And the cop tells me I'm the kind of guy
[18:46] Speaker 3: who fills up our hospitals. Incidentally, you know you're in
[18:50] Speaker 3: a ten-minute zone? I'm watching it, Doccy. I'm watching it.
[18:53] Speaker 3: Those blue-surge buckaroos are going to find me harder to
[18:55] Speaker 3: pinch than a mere mate at 40 fathoms.
[18:59] Speaker 10: Personally, I wouldn't dare drive today myself. My driver's license
[19:03] Speaker 10: is expired.
[19:04] Speaker 3: Oh, no, it couldn't have expired, kiddo. You got yours
[19:06] Speaker 3: the same day I got mine.
[19:12] Speaker 6: An interesting statement.
[19:14] Speaker 5: But, McGee, mine has expired. That means yours has, too.
[19:17] Speaker 3: Oh, no, you're mistaken, Snooki. Here, I'll show you what.
[19:20] Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh.
[19:21] Speaker 3: My license.
[19:21] Speaker 5: My wallet. I haven't got them.
[19:23] Speaker 3: I left my wallet at home.
[19:24] Speaker 4: Shh.
[19:25] Speaker 5: Quiet.
[19:25] Speaker 3: They'll hear me.
[19:26] Speaker 5: Oh, this is great.
[19:29] Speaker 10: We've been nine minutes in a ten-minute zone with an
[19:31] Speaker 10: overheated motor, no driver's license, and three policemen walking towards us.
[19:35] Speaker 7: Huh?
[19:35] Speaker 4: Where? Where? Oh, brother.
[19:37] Speaker 3: Well, I'll see you later, Doc. I'm getting out of
[19:38] Speaker 3: here fast.
[19:39] Speaker 4: I mean slow.
[19:40] Speaker 7: The King's.
[19:44] Speaker 2: Man and the Iowa Indian Song.
[19:48] Speaker 9: The Lord Iowa Indian Song.
[19:52] Speaker 5: The sun will shine, the rain will.
[19:54] Speaker 9: Fall, and Iowa corn will grow and grow and grow
[20:02] Speaker 9: and grow. Be high by the 4th of July in Iowa.
[20:12] Speaker 3: Aye, aye, kai, ee, koo, oh, Iowa, Iowa.
[20:17] Speaker 7: Be high by.
[20:19] Speaker 3: The 5th of July in Iowa.
[20:23] Speaker 9: Just throw the golden seed down Right down on Iowa
[20:36] Speaker 9: ground Before it ever gets there That seed will grow.
[20:43] Speaker 3: In midair Sky.
[20:47] Speaker 2: High By the 6th of July in Iowa Iowa, Iowa.
[20:55] Speaker 3: Iowa, Iowa, Iowa, Iowa.
[20:59] Speaker 2: Back there where I was.
[21:03] Speaker 4: Born in Iowa.
[21:05] Speaker 6: That's what we call home, home.
[21:11] Speaker 9: It'll grow sky high by the 6th of July in Iowa.
[21:19] Speaker 4: Iowa.
[21:20] Speaker 3: Iowa.
[21:22] Speaker 4: Iowa. Iowa.
[21:24] Speaker 6: Iowa.
[21:25] Speaker 7: How?
[21:25] Speaker 4: Good.
[21:25] Speaker 2: Thank you.
[21:44] Speaker 5: Watch it, McGee. There's a squad car coming up on
[21:45] Speaker 5: the left.
[21:46] Speaker 3: Well, smile at them, Molly.
[21:47] Speaker 4: Smile.
[21:47] Speaker 3: They ain't got anything on me that they know of.
[21:50] Speaker 4: Smile wider.
[21:51] Speaker 5: I can't smile any wider. My ears are in the way.
[21:53] Speaker 10: There they are, McGee, right next to you.
[21:58] Speaker 4: Oh, they are, right?
[21:59] Speaker 3: Oh, hi, boys. Mighty fine job you boys are doing today.
[22:03] Speaker 3: Mighty fine. I'll mention you boys to the chief.
[22:07] Speaker 5: That was the chief.
[22:10] Speaker 3: If I'd known that ever. Uh-oh, stoplight. Here, you hold
[22:14] Speaker 3: the ignition key till the light turns green.
[22:16] Speaker 10: This is pretty silly, McGee. You don't have to shut
[22:18] Speaker 10: the motor off at every intersection.
[22:20] Speaker 3: I know, but I just don't trust myself.
[22:22] Speaker 10: But what if we can't get it started again sometime?
[22:24] Speaker 10: Then we will get a ticket for holding up traffic.
[22:26] Speaker 3: My gosh, I never thought of that. Give me the
[22:27] Speaker 3: ignition key.
[22:28] Speaker 4: Here.
[22:33] Speaker 5: See what I mean?
[22:35] Speaker 3: Flooded the distributor, I guess. I guess I'm just nervous.
[22:45] Speaker 7: Okay, okay, get that heap out of there, buddy.
[22:48] Speaker 10: The light will never get any greener.
[22:51] Speaker 3: You just be patient, sir. I'll be out of here
[22:52] Speaker 3: in a moment.
[22:54] Speaker 4: There you go.
[22:56] Speaker 3: Big windbag. Remember the kind of smart guys that ought
[22:59] Speaker 3: to get tickets, not guys like me that stay inside
[23:01] Speaker 3: the law.
[23:02] Speaker 10: You're perfectly right, dearie, but do you have to see
[23:04] Speaker 10: how far inside of it you can get?
[23:07] Speaker 5: We're only doing seven miles an hour.
[23:08] Speaker 3: Oh, I can't... I can't afford to get picked up. Well,
[23:11] Speaker 3: now they got my driver's license on me. If I
[23:13] Speaker 3: ever get home without a ticket, I'm going to have
[23:14] Speaker 3: that license tattooed right on my chest by.
[23:16] Speaker 10: There's another policeman, McGee, writing out a ticket.
[23:30] Speaker 3: For what? I didn't do anything.
[23:31] Speaker 4: He can.
[23:32] Speaker 3: Oh, you mean for somebody else.
[23:33] Speaker 5: Of course.
[23:34] Speaker 3: A little jumpy, that's all. My gosh, I was getting
[23:36] Speaker 3: along fine at home this morning until that Latrivia came
[23:39] Speaker 3: in there and opened up his big fat mouth. I
[23:41] Speaker 3: ought not to vote for that guy tonight.
[23:42] Speaker 4: Hey, look.
[23:43] Speaker 3: There's our home.
[23:45] Speaker 5: Our own little home, Molly. Pretty, isn't it?
[23:48] Speaker 3: Oh, I've never been so glad to see that little
[23:50] Speaker 3: house since I... What's that?
[23:51] Speaker 2: What's what?
[23:52] Speaker 4: That.
[23:53] Speaker 5: It's what you think it is.
[23:54] Speaker 4: Can you see it?
[23:55] Speaker 3: Hey, maybe it's a fire engine, Molly. Maybe our house
[23:57] Speaker 3: is on fire. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Oh, I hope it's...
[23:58] Speaker 3: Get over to the cart, mister. Ah, you damn rat.
[24:02] Speaker 3: That's a dead rat. What did I do now?
[24:03] Speaker 7: Dog-gun it, I.
[24:04] Speaker 3: Was almost home and.
[24:05] Speaker 10: He means business too, McGee. He's parking his motorcycle right
[24:07] Speaker 10: in front of us. Watch your language now, dearie.
[24:10] Speaker 7: I will.
[24:10] Speaker 3: I'll be so mealy-mouthed he won't have the heart to
[24:12] Speaker 3: ball me on. You're Mr. McGee, aren't you?
[24:14] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[24:15] Speaker 3: You may not know it, sir, but we're having a
[24:16] Speaker 3: little safe driving campaign on today. Oh, I know, officer.
[24:19] Speaker 3: I think it's a wonderful idea.
[24:21] Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, he knows it, officer. Somebody mentioned it to
[24:24] Speaker 10: us this morning.
[24:25] Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I was assigned to watch you, Mr.
[24:27] Speaker 2: McGee.
[24:28] Speaker 3: I've had my eye on.
[24:28] Speaker 4: You all the way home.
[24:29] Speaker 3: Well, if I've accidentally done anything wrong, officer, I'll certainly
[24:32] Speaker 3: correct it right away. Yes, sir. Just a friendly warning.
[24:36] Speaker 3: That's all I need. It doesn't take a ticket for
[24:38] Speaker 3: me to catch on.
[24:39] Speaker 2: Well, I didn't say anything about a ticket, Mr.
[24:43] Speaker 4: McGee.
[24:43] Speaker 7: No.
[24:44] Speaker 3: I've been watching you for an hour. And you ought
[24:46] Speaker 3: to be very happy to know that you've won today's
[24:48] Speaker 3: Safe Driver Award.
[24:52] Speaker 4: I what?
[24:53] Speaker 3: You hear that, Molly?
[24:54] Speaker 5: I won an award.
[24:55] Speaker 3: Safe Driver Award.
[24:56] Speaker 10: My goodness, isn't that wonderful? Not that you haven't earned it.
[25:00] Speaker 10: I never had such a safe ride in my life.
[25:03] Speaker 10: Scared me to death.
[25:07] Speaker 3: Now, if you'll just let me have your driver's license, sir,
[25:09] Speaker 3: I'll put this sticker on it. What? Driver's license? Yeah. Well,
[25:15] Speaker 3: you see, officer, I, well, I mean, gee whiz, there
[25:18] Speaker 3: must be lots of safe drivers more safe than me
[25:20] Speaker 3: in all this town. Give it to them. Give it
[25:22] Speaker 3: to somebody else. I don't have... No, sir.
[25:24] Speaker 4: This award is yours. You deserve it.
[25:27] Speaker 2: I'd like to paste it right on your license, just
[25:29] Speaker 2: like a gold star on your report card.
[25:34] Speaker 10: Well, now, officer, you're in a hurry. Why don't you
[25:37] Speaker 10: just let himself paste it on the license himself?
[25:39] Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's it. I'll take it. I'll paste it
[25:42] Speaker 3: on when I get home and get my license off
[25:43] Speaker 3: of that when I get home. No, no, you just
[25:46] Speaker 3: hand me the license, sir, and I'll... You might stick
[25:48] Speaker 3: it on crooked or something. You know, a beautiful seal
[25:50] Speaker 3: like that ought to be put on real neat. Ought
[25:53] Speaker 3: to press it in between a couple of books, maybe, or.
[25:55] Speaker 10: Oh, he's so prissy about things, officer. He just can't
[25:59] Speaker 10: stand things crooked.
[26:00] Speaker 7: Yeah.
[26:02] Speaker 4: All right, Mr. McGee.
[26:04] Speaker 3: Take it along with you and stick it on yourself.
[26:07] Speaker 2: Oh, I will.
[26:08] Speaker 3: I certainly will. I'll stick it on myself. Right on
[26:11] Speaker 3: my forehead. Oh, you mean on my... Myself. Okay, okay.
[26:15] Speaker 5: Thank you so much, officer.
[26:17] Speaker 3: Oh, not at all.
[26:18] Speaker 4: Wish we had more like him.
[26:20] Speaker 2: Good luck.
[26:20] Speaker 3: Thanks, mister. I mean, copper.
[26:22] Speaker 7: Er, officer.
[26:23] Speaker 4: Goodbye.
[26:24] Speaker 5: McGee, watch out for his motorcycle.
[26:27] Speaker 4: It's right in front of... Let's see now.
[26:41] Speaker 7: Let's see, June, July, August.
[26:43] Speaker 4: Well, what do you know?
[26:43] Speaker 7: I ought to be out in time for.
[26:45] Speaker 4: The Elks picnic.
[27:10] Speaker 2: River and Molly return in a moment. Now is the
[27:12] Speaker 2: season when everybody looks for easy meals. And for that,
[27:15] Speaker 2: you'll want Reynolds Wrap, the pure aluminum foil that saves
[27:18] Speaker 2: work and saves food. Take a meatloaf, for example. That's
[27:21] Speaker 2: pretty easy to start with. But when you wrap the
[27:23] Speaker 2: loaf in Reynolds Wrap, with the edges tightly folded, you
[27:26] Speaker 2: let it bake without any tending or.
[27:30] Speaker 2: The wrap the last few minutes for browning, and you
[27:32] Speaker 2: have no pan to scour afterwards.
[27:34] Speaker 4: Use your own favorite recipe.
[27:35] Speaker 2: It'll turn out far more luscious than ever before, with
[27:38] Speaker 2: all the juices and flavor kept in. Less oven shrinkage,
[27:41] Speaker 2: actually more meat. Serve it in the foil and keep
[27:44] Speaker 2: your platter clean, too. Wrap what's left in the same
[27:47] Speaker 2: foil to store in your refrigerator. You'll find that second
[27:50] Speaker 2: serving is also more luscious, juicier. Stock up on Reynolds
[27:54] Speaker 2: Wrap in standard 25-foot rolls and jumbo economy rolls 75 feet. Also,
[27:59] Speaker 2: heavy-duty Reynolds wrap, half a yard wide. Get the original
[28:02] Speaker 2: and genuine, made by the world's largest producer of aluminum foil,
[28:06] Speaker 2: the Reynolds Metals Company.
[28:14] Speaker 3: So, the trivia had quite a talk with the judge about.
[28:16] Speaker 4: Me while I waited, you see.
[28:17] Speaker 5: What did he tell the judge?
[28:19] Speaker 3: Well, he told him who I was, all about me.
[28:21] Speaker 3: Sort of a character reference, you might call it. Judge
[28:24] Speaker 3: dismissed the case.
[28:25] Speaker 5: Oh, that's wonderful.
[28:27] Speaker 10: My goodness, I didn't realize what an important person you
[28:29] Speaker 10: are around town.
[28:31] Speaker 4: Oh, sure.
[28:31] Speaker 3: As soon as the judge really understood all about me,
[28:34] Speaker 3: he said that any cop that was stupid enough to
[28:36] Speaker 3: park a bike in front of a car I was
[28:38] Speaker 3: driving deserved to have it run over.
[28:39] Speaker 10: I see. Good night. Good night, all.
[28:57] Speaker 2: The Reynolds Metals Company, pioneers of progress through aluminum, has
[29:00] Speaker 2: brought you Fibber McGee and Marley Transcribed with Bill Thompson,
[29:03] Speaker 2: Gail Gordon, Arthur Q. Bryan, Dick Legrand, Jack Crucian, and me,
[29:07] Speaker 2: Harlow Wilcox. Don't forget to see Mr. Peepers on NBC
[29:10] Speaker 2: television Sunday nights. And be sure to be with us
[29:13] Speaker 2: again next Tuesday evening.
[29:14] Speaker 4: Good night.
[29:34] Speaker 6: Tonight, play Two for the Money with Herb Schreiner on NBC.
[29:44] Speaker 1: Our time in Wistful Vista closes with Fibber McGee and Molly,
[29:48] Speaker 1: Traffic Safety Campaign. Follow Fibber McGee and Molly for more
[29:52] Speaker 1: classic broadcasts.

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