# ADHD: How to Break the Paralysis Cycle (Part 2)

An episode of [RECOVERable: Mental Health and Addiction Experts Answer Your Questions](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1834514167), 18 Dec 2025, 46 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2530407/episodes/19248801-adhd-how-to-break-the-paralysis-cycle-part-2.mp3

ADHD isn’t laziness; it’s a neurodevelopmental difference that affects attention, executive function and impulse control. In this eye‑opening conversation with child psychologist Dr. Carrie Jackson, we explore what ADHD really is and why many people’s organizational skills lag by about 30%. You’ll learn how inattention and hyperactivity manifest across the lifespan, why it’s not a knowledge problem but a challenge in acting on intentions, and how misunderstood “ADHD paralysis” keeps you stuck on tasks. Learn science‑backed ways to break paralysis – from changing your environment and using body doubling to working in short two‑minute bursts. Find mental health and addiction treatment near you: https://recovery.com/ Learn more about Dr. Carrie Jackson: https://www.drcarriejackson.com/ Dr. Jackson also debunks myths about stimulant medication: it targets dopamine and norepinephrine, calms impulsivity and even improves emotion regulation and social skills. Untreated ADHD, however, is linked with accidents, health complications and shorter life expectancy, while proper treatment significantly reduces the risk of substance use disorders by about 40%. For parents, she offers executive function tips, visual schedules and time‑blocking strategies—start with just three important tasks and block realistic calendar slots to avoid burnout. We discuss 504 plans, flexible seating and other accommodations that level the playing field at school and work. Finally, we address relationships: how to explain ADHD to your partner, use non‑judgmental language and focus on positive reinforcement. ADHD is a brain difference, not a flaw; with support, self‑awareness and the right tools, you can thrive. ⏱️ Chapters: 00:00 – What Is ADHD? Neurodevelopment & Executive Function 04:12 – ADHD Time Management & Parenting Morning Routines 08:50 – ADHD vs Anxiety: Overlap & Differences 13:30 – Medication Myths: Benefits vs Stimulant Fears 18:20 – Untreated ADHD Risks & Substance Use 22:45 – ADHD Paralysis, Body Doubling & Time Blocking Tips 29:10 – Accommodations, Relationships & Final Takeaways ❓ Questions the Video Answers: What is ADHD and how does it affect executive functioning? Why are organizational skills often 30% behind in people with ADHD? How is ADHD different from anxiety and depression? What are the signs of ADHD time blindness and how do you manage it? What is ADHD paralysis and how can you stop procrastination? How does body doubling help with task initiation and focus? What are effective time‑blocking and time management tips for adults with ADHD? Are ADHD medications safe, and what benefits do stimulants provide? What are the consequences of untreated ADHD on health and lifespan? Does treating ADHD reduce the risk of substance use disorders? How can parents create morning routines and visual schedules for ADHD kids? What accommodations can schools or workplaces provide for ADHD? How do you explain ADHD to your partner and repair relationships after impulsivity? Is ADHD a disability or a strength, and how can you embrace both? How can you focus with ADHD without burning out or feeling overwhelmed? #ADHD #MentalHealth #TimeManagement

## Transcript

[0:13] SPEAKER_00: We know that untreated ADHD leads to very, very serious consequences down the line.
[0:20] SPEAKER_00: Dr.
[0:20] SPEAKER_00: Carrie Jackson is a child psychologist, speaker, and expert in ADHD.
[0:25] SPEAKER_00: We would never tell somebody without glasses you just need to try and see better.
[0:29] SPEAKER_01: Right.
[0:29] SPEAKER_00: So why are we telling ADHD kids you just need to focus more?
[0:33] SPEAKER_01: So someone medicated for ADHD is less likely to.
[0:42] SPEAKER_01: We are back with Dr.
[0:43] SPEAKER_01: Carrie Jackson to continue our discussion about ADHD.
[0:47] SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us again.
[0:48] SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me again.
[0:50] SPEAKER_01: So in case somebody didn't listen last week, please just give us a quick primer on what ADHD is.
[0:56] SPEAKER_00: ADHD, it is considered a mental health disorder and a neurodevelopmental disorder.
[1:01] SPEAKER_00: So it is a difference in your brain, is a difference in how you may process things, think about things, but it really affects two core symptom areas, inattention and then hyperactivity.
[1:14] SPEAKER_00: But it's a chronic lifelong thing that can really affect kids, teens, and adults just throughout the lifespan.
[1:21] SPEAKER_00: So it affects people differently, but is definitely something that does come up a lot of the times for anybody at any age.
[1:29] SPEAKER_01: The phrase executive functioning comes up a lot when you're talking about ADHD.
[1:33] SPEAKER_01: Explain to us, please, what that is and how it's affected by having that.
[1:37] SPEAKER_00: I talked about how I do not like the term of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, the name of it.
[1:44] SPEAKER_00: And some people have actually argued that ADHD should be considered a disorder of executive functioning, right?
[1:50] SPEAKER_00: So it's about executive functioning skills, which these are skills that everybody has, but it's actually something that people with ADHD struggle with.
[1:59] SPEAKER_00: So within the frontal lobe of the brain, that's where all of these planning and organization skills are located in the brain.
[2:07] SPEAKER_00: And those are the pieces that with ADHD, we often see you struggle with.
[2:11] SPEAKER_00: So time management is one of those, thinking you're going to be on time or it only takes a certain amount of time to do something, and then really struggling to make it on time, planning what you need for a trip or planning out a large assignment.
[2:25] SPEAKER_00: Those are also executive functioning skills.
[2:28] SPEAKER_00: So it's really about how do I meet this goal?
[2:31] SPEAKER_00: It's about how you're able to say, I have this thing I need to do and I need to get from point A to point B.
[2:37] SPEAKER_00: All of the skills in between that are those executive functioning skills.
[2:41] SPEAKER_00: It's even been estimated that like for ADHD people, those skills are 30% behind people without ADHD.
[2:48] SPEAKER_00: So if you have like a 10-year-old, for example, their organizational skills may be closer to like a seven or an eight-year-old.
[2:55] SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of variability though, but certainly there are things that grow over time for everybody and everybody does have them, but people with ADHD struggle even more with them.
[3:04] SPEAKER_01: But it's not a lack of knowledge, ADHD.
[3:07] SPEAKER_01: It's a lack of the ability to act on that knowledge and actually do the task.
[3:11] SPEAKER_01: Is that correct?
[3:12] SPEAKER_00: Yes.
[3:13] SPEAKER_00: It's not about like what you know or what you don't know when you have ADHD.
[3:18] SPEAKER_00: And it's not even about like knowing what time you need to leave, right?
[3:22] SPEAKER_00: It's about putting into practice all of the things that you need to do to be on time.
[3:26] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[3:27] SPEAKER_00: So like people with ADHD, you can say, you need to be at this meeting at 10 a.m., right?
[3:34] SPEAKER_00: But for somebody with ADHD, all the things leading up to that meeting, they might not even think about this is when I need to leave for that meeting.
[3:42] SPEAKER_00: And then they are just kind of doing the steps that they need to do in the moment to get on time to that meeting, getting all of your stuff together, getting your computer bag, maybe bringing your lunch or packing your lunch, knowing what time you need to get ready.
[3:56] SPEAKER_00: All of those, like how do I get their own time skills are executive function skills.
[4:02] SPEAKER_01: So there are the skills that we use to pack our computer bag and get to work on time.
[4:07] SPEAKER_01: Then as a parent, trying to get your kids out the door, knowing or not knowing, understanding or not understanding that one or more of them has ADHD.
[4:16] SPEAKER_01: I remember the shoe thing.
[4:18] SPEAKER_01: The shoe thing was so big always.
[4:20] SPEAKER_01: And there were 50 other things that also had to be done.
[4:23] SPEAKER_01: How can a parent cope?
[4:25] SPEAKER_01: How can a parent help a child who has executive function limitations, disorder?
[4:31] SPEAKER_01: I don't know what word to use there.
[4:33] SPEAKER_00: A lot of people say executive functioning deficits or challenges or struggles, but because everybody has executive functioning skills, there are a variety of skills that go into it, but people with ADHD, they're typically deficits.
[4:48] SPEAKER_00: I think that first, just like from a place of understanding, that's one of the biggest ones, right?
[4:53] SPEAKER_00: If your child is struggling with these areas of executive functioning and time management, that's going to change how you view them.
[5:00] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[5:01] SPEAKER_00: So if they are constantly late in the morning, you're probably stressed as a parent because maybe you need to be at work on time or you are having to remind them of so many things.
[5:12] SPEAKER_00: And when you view it as this is their executive functioning, this isn't about them.
[5:17] SPEAKER_00: This is something that is hard for them.
[5:19] SPEAKER_00: It can also take off some of the blame from you as a parent.
[5:23] SPEAKER_00: Like it's not your fault.
[5:24] SPEAKER_00: Time management or packing, these are things that a lot of neurotypical people or people without ADHD, they may do automatically.
[5:34] SPEAKER_00: Somebody without ADHD, they may often like just put into their calendar different things that they need to do.
[5:41] SPEAKER_00: Like I need to start getting ready at this time and I need to leave at this time.
[5:45] SPEAKER_00: For somebody with ADHD, they may not do those skills and those things automatically.
[5:51] SPEAKER_00: And because of that, it's like they will often lead to them being late.
[5:56] SPEAKER_00: And that's where you'll see the impairment happen with ADHD, to act like those skills aren't there.
[6:02] SPEAKER_00: It's almost like not trusting yourself.
[6:06] SPEAKER_00: Somebody with ADHD, they may say to themselves, I don't need to plan that.
[6:10] SPEAKER_00: I don't need to write down what my teacher just said.
[6:14] SPEAKER_00: You need to not trust yourself if you have ADHD, because ADHD is very much so an in-the moment type of way of thinking.
[6:23] SPEAKER_00: It's very much so focused on what matters in the moment.
[6:26] SPEAKER_00: And so, yes, in the moment, it may not matter that you didn't put your keys where they normally go.
[6:32] SPEAKER_00: Or it may not matter that you didn't write down your homework.
[6:35] SPEAKER_00: But then when it comes to later, when you need to actually figure out what your homework is, your brain is not going to be able to remember it because of those executive functioning deficits.
[6:44] SPEAKER_00: So you need to really not trust your brain and what it's telling you in the moment because it's not thinking about those executive functioning skills.
[6:51] SPEAKER_00: And so you need to act as if my executive function skills are not going to help me at a later time.
[6:56] SPEAKER_00: I'm going to really make sure I'm doing them right now.
[6:58] SPEAKER_00: And understanding that will set you up for more success than Yeah.
[7:03] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[7:03] SPEAKER_01: I'll remember.
[7:04] SPEAKER_00: It will set you up for more success because when you need it, it will be there.
[7:09] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[7:09] SPEAKER_00: So, like when you need your keys later, they're going to be in the bowl where you always set them.
[7:17] SPEAKER_00: I do that all the time.
[7:18] SPEAKER_00: Or when you need to be ready for school, the outfit that you picked out the night before is already ready.
[7:26] SPEAKER_00: Or for parents, a lot of the times, like your backpack is already packed.
[7:29] SPEAKER_00: Kids, they will often say, like, I can do it in the morning.
[7:32] SPEAKER_00: I'll have enough time.
[7:33] SPEAKER_00: And then it's like the morning comes and you just cannot get ready on time.
[7:37] SPEAKER_00: You're looking for everything.
[7:38] SPEAKER_00: You're looking for where's my water ball?
[7:39] SPEAKER_00: Where's my binder?
[7:41] SPEAKER_00: Where is my homework?
[7:42] SPEAKER_00: And then you're late.
[7:43] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[7:44] SPEAKER_00: So all of this like pre-planning and really like not trusting yourself is really important.
[7:49] SPEAKER_00: Um, not trusting yourself sounds extreme, but honestly, I think about it that way because like ADHD brains are like focused on the present moment and what's the best for you right now.
[7:58] SPEAKER_00: It's not always thinking about what's best for me in the future.
[8:01] SPEAKER_01: So when we were doing the scenario of getting out the door to school, pretty common one, you said that a parent who understands ADHD is going to be less likely to blame themselves or can say this is a matter of bad parenting.
[8:14] SPEAKER_01: I have to think that it would also hopefully help you be less judgmental of the child and less angry, frustrated, all the things you can be when you're like, how can you not know where that is?
[8:26] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[8:27] SPEAKER_00: So the way that you view your ADHD child and the way that you view their symptoms, it affects how you parent them.
[8:35] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[8:35] SPEAKER_00: So if you are viewing your ADHD child's symptoms as this is who they are, it's a personality piece and they are trying to move to be late or they're they're being defiant.
[8:49] SPEAKER_00: Yes.
[8:49] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, defiant I hear a lot too, difficult.
[8:52] SPEAKER_00: They don't care.
[8:54] SPEAKER_00: Of course, you'll get frustrated, right?
[8:56] SPEAKER_00: Because if you're viewing it as that way, it seems like it's also something that's easily changed.
[9:00] SPEAKER_00: But if you view it as this is their executive functioning, this is how their brain works, you are able to pause before reacting a lot of the times, not every time, but you're able to pause and think this is not something that is very easy or natural for my ADHD child.
[9:16] SPEAKER_00: Getting upset and yelling is not going to be the most helpful response.
[9:21] SPEAKER_00: What they need is support and skills in this moment that I can help them with as a parent.
[9:27] SPEAKER_00: That way of like changing the way you think about your ADHD child, it changes the way you parent them and the way you support them.
[9:34] SPEAKER_01: I have so many questions, but let's let's stay with this scenario because it is such a common one in terms of supporting your child, getting out the door.
[9:41] SPEAKER_01: What are some good things that you can do to set your whole family up for success and actually getting the heck out the door and you to work in them to school?
[9:51] SPEAKER_00: You want to make a lot of these executive fundrain pieces real.
[9:55] SPEAKER_00: So you need to make time real for your family and for your ADHD child.
[10:00] SPEAKER_00: There is a this idea of time blindness in ADHD, which is like not being able to keep track of time and also not really understanding how much time has passed.
[10:11] SPEAKER_00: And also, like people with ADHD tend to either overestimate or underestimate how long something will take.
[10:17] SPEAKER_00: So in the morning, you probably underestimate how long something will take.
[10:21] SPEAKER_00: And when that happens, you're gonna be late.
[10:24] SPEAKER_00: If you think it's gonna take me five minutes to shower and blow dry my hair, no.
[10:29] SPEAKER_00: Um, so you're underestimating the amount of time in those situations.
[10:33] SPEAKER_00: So to make time real, a lot of visual pieces are really, really important.
[10:38] SPEAKER_00: By that I mean even having a clock or a timer in different parts of your house.
[10:44] SPEAKER_00: It needs to be in the bathroom so your child can see it when they're getting ready.
[10:47] SPEAKER_00: It needs to be constantly there for them to have it and have it front of mind.
[10:52] SPEAKER_00: That is one of the biggest things I would say is those types of visuals.
[10:56] SPEAKER_00: A lot of families will also use like calendars, like family calendars that show what is coming up, right?
[11:03] SPEAKER_00: Or a routine chart.
[11:04] SPEAKER_00: This is what you need to do in the morning in order to get ready for school.
[11:09] SPEAKER_00: These visuals, they actually help working memory.
[11:12] SPEAKER_00: And working memory is an executive functioning skill.
[11:15] SPEAKER_00: Working memory is how your brain is able to hold on to something that you were told.
[11:21] SPEAKER_00: So if I was to tell you, we're gonna go to this coffee shop and we're gonna go to this coffee shop, it's these are the directions.
[11:28] SPEAKER_00: And I list out a few things.
[11:29] SPEAKER_00: You're using your working memory to remember it.
[11:32] SPEAKER_00: It's like short term and you're doing something with it, right?
[11:35] SPEAKER_00: So you need to remember the steps of what you need to do in the morning.
[11:39] SPEAKER_00: You need to remember that I need these three things in my backpack.
[11:42] SPEAKER_00: So using visuals actually gets rid of how much you are relying on your working memory.
[11:48] SPEAKER_00: So that's one of the big reasons that I recommend visuals for families a lot of the times.
[11:54] SPEAKER_01: Going back to the internet questions, uh, ADHD versus anxiety, how can I tell the difference?
[12:00] SPEAKER_00: ADHD and anxiety, they do often go hand in hand, I will say.
[12:04] SPEAKER_00: And just because you have ADHD doesn't mean that you can't have anxiety.
[12:09] SPEAKER_00: They actually share a lot of similar symptoms.
[12:12] SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people don't know that difficulty concentrating is a diagnostic symptom of anxiety as well.
[12:17] SPEAKER_00: There's also a lot of the times with anxiety, you are avoiding tasks, right?
[12:22] SPEAKER_00: Things you need to do.
[12:24] SPEAKER_00: So if I am anxious about a work presentation, I may avoid it, right?
[12:28] SPEAKER_00: Or I may not show up, right?
[12:29] SPEAKER_00: Because I'm so nervous about what will happen.
[12:31] SPEAKER_00: For ADHD, there's avoidance too.
[12:34] SPEAKER_00: I'm procrastinating on my homework or I'm procrastinating, getting ready.
[12:39] SPEAKER_00: So you can see how they show up very similarly.
[12:43] SPEAKER_00: But when you take a closer look at the symptoms, they can look a little bit different.
[12:48] SPEAKER_00: I mean, when you look at what is causing that avoidance that I just mentioned, that's a good way of understanding it.
[12:54] SPEAKER_00: But then also if you look at the difficulty concentrating, like what are those thoughts that you're having in the moment?
[13:00] SPEAKER_00: Am I distracted because of stress and anxiety going on?
[13:05] SPEAKER_00: Or is my brain really feeling like all over the place?
[13:08] SPEAKER_00: It can be hard for a lot of people to really tell the difference in those moments because also like ADHD can affect anxiety.
[13:17] SPEAKER_00: If I have ADHD and I do have ADHD, but with my ADHD, I will often feel nervous about forgetting something or leaving something at home.
[13:26] SPEAKER_00: Or did I double book myself on this calendar appointment?
[13:30] SPEAKER_00: Those ADHD symptoms of forgetting things, losing things can often lead to anxiety as well.
[13:36] SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
[13:37] SPEAKER_01: Does treating one help the other if you have anxiety and ADHD?
[13:41] SPEAKER_00: A lot of people say it does.
[13:43] SPEAKER_00: So if you treat either, you will often see improvements in the other one.
[13:50] SPEAKER_00: I certainly have talked to plenty of people who, when they are diagnosed with ADHD and they are treated with ADHD.
[13:58] SPEAKER_00: So if they start taking ADHD medication, they see a reduction in their anxiety symptoms.
[14:03] SPEAKER_00: They don't feel as stressed because they are not forgetting things as often.
[14:07] SPEAKER_00: Or this is really interesting, something I've experienced personally myself, but also that I've heard from other people is with ADHD, you have these thoughts like kind of fire working throughout your brain at times about different things.
[14:20] SPEAKER_00: Pinball, I think.
[14:21] SPEAKER_00: Pinball.
[14:22] SPEAKER_00: Yes, pinballing.
[14:23] SPEAKER_00: And I have noticed that like when I take ADHD medication, it reduces those thoughts and I feel calmer.
[14:31] SPEAKER_00: And so it actually reduces anxiety in that way.
[14:34] SPEAKER_00: And, you know, some of those pinball thoughts that are going in your brain, but it actually reduces those as well.
[14:40] SPEAKER_00: And so I hear a lot of that from people who have been diagnosed.
[14:44] SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure as much about like the research supporting it, but certainly it's something that I've heard from a lot of people I work with.
[14:50] SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about the way it's treated and medications, because I know that's a real, I say controversial, the right word, but a lot of people have a lot to say about it.
[14:59] SPEAKER_00: Medication is considered the most effective treatment for ADHD.
[15:04] SPEAKER_00: You know, I say this as a psychologist who cannot prescribe medication.
[15:08] SPEAKER_00: ADHD, it is highly genetic.
[15:12] SPEAKER_00: And because of that, we treat it like a medical disorder.
[15:16] SPEAKER_00: And we know that there are differences in the brain, in the neurotransmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine, the brain structures themselves.
[15:24] SPEAKER_00: And these ADHD medications, they actually act on those neurotransmitters that affect ADHD.
[15:31] SPEAKER_00: And so when you have ADHD medication, it actually is directly treating the brain differences.
[15:39] SPEAKER_00: And so it is leading to a lot of improvements in your ADHD symptoms.
[15:44] SPEAKER_00: It's like one of the most recommended and the first places that doctors will go.
[15:49] SPEAKER_00: It is so effective.
[15:50] SPEAKER_01: When a parent says, if my kid's hyperactive, the last thing he needs is a stimulant.
[15:56] SPEAKER_00: I will also see like parents talking about like using coffee, for example, or uh soda that has caffeine as like a treatment with ADHD, they work differently.
[16:07] SPEAKER_00: So actually, like coffee and caffeine, it works on adenosine, which is a different type of neurotransmitter that basically just helps you not be sleepy, right?
[16:17] SPEAKER_00: That's why we had coffee this morning.
[16:19] SPEAKER_00: But ADHD medications work on different neurotransmitters.
[16:22] SPEAKER_00: So it's not the same.
[16:24] SPEAKER_00: But if it's like what, what about if they say it's a stimulant?
[16:27] SPEAKER_00: So it stimulants for ADHD, they do not make kids more hyper, right?
[16:33] SPEAKER_00: They don't make them more impulsive.
[16:36] SPEAKER_00: Most of the time, what they do is it actually has a calming effect on ADHD kids.
[16:41] SPEAKER_00: It will actually reduce their impulsive urges.
[16:44] SPEAKER_00: So kids with ADHD, they may not act on something immediately.
[16:50] SPEAKER_00: They may take the time to sit and pause.
[16:52] SPEAKER_00: I will actually hear more often parents concerned about is it going to turn my kid into a zombie?
[16:57] SPEAKER_00: Years ago, there were differences in how ADHD medication was prescribed.
[17:02] SPEAKER_00: And because of that, like it was prescribed at a higher dose.
[17:06] SPEAKER_00: And parents were often seeing like more significant reductions in that impulsivity.
[17:11] SPEAKER_00: A lot of the parents I talk to now, though, they're like, it actually doesn't change their personality.
[17:16] SPEAKER_00: It doesn't lead to them being zombies.
[17:19] SPEAKER_00: In fact, it feels like they are able to see their true ADHD child be the way that they can be, right?
[17:26] SPEAKER_00: And just show their true selves.
[17:28] SPEAKER_01: And the child gets to see it too, right?
[17:30] SPEAKER_01: It's not like, why is life so easy for other people?
[17:32] SPEAKER_01: And I'm such a screw up.
[17:34] SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
[17:35] SPEAKER_00: Like the kids, they get to feel confident in themselves.
[17:38] SPEAKER_00: You see a big confidence boost a lot of the times.
[17:42] SPEAKER_00: And like one other thing with ADHD medication is like a lot of parents and kids also, they may think like, well, I'm doing okay in school.
[17:53] SPEAKER_00: Like, does medication affect other areas?
[17:55] SPEAKER_00: It does.
[17:56] SPEAKER_00: It actually improves emotion regulation and social skills, which is something we don't think about.
[18:01] SPEAKER_00: But huge, huge benefits.
[18:04] SPEAKER_00: And, you know, if you're an ADHD child or an adult and emotion regulation is something hard for you, right?
[18:10] SPEAKER_00: So you may say something you don't mean to say, hurt somebody else's feelings.
[18:16] SPEAKER_00: That really affects your self-esteem and how you feel and your relationships, right?
[18:20] SPEAKER_00: But like that medication can help you actually sit and process before responding.
[18:25] SPEAKER_00: So it can really improve a ton of different areas.
[18:29] SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about the risks of not medicating ADHD.
[18:33] SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of risks to not getting appropriate treatment for ADHD.
[18:40] SPEAKER_00: I mean, there are two really big ones.
[18:42] SPEAKER_00: We know that untreated ADHD leads to very, very serious consequences down the line, like an earlier mortality age.
[18:50] SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of impulsive actions that can lead to death, right?
[18:54] SPEAKER_00: So like driving recklessly, motorcycles, drug use.
[18:59] SPEAKER_00: If you are treating ADHD, it is reducing those impulsive behaviors.
[19:03] SPEAKER_00: And so you are less likely to die of an accident.
[19:06] SPEAKER_00: At the same time, somebody with ADHD, if they have a chronic health condition outside of ADHD, they may not be managing it well when their ADHD is untreated.
[19:18] SPEAKER_00: If you think about diabetes, for example, if you are not doing your daily treatments, right, or any chronic health condition, and when you have ADHD, you may forget to take your medication.
[19:28] SPEAKER_00: That is going to reduce your overall lifespan.
[19:31] SPEAKER_00: So the ADHD being untreated can absolutely affect your life and how long you're living and your quality of life.
[19:39] SPEAKER_01: So someone medicated for ADHD is less likely to have a substance use disorder?
[19:46] SPEAKER_01: Yes, a hundred percent.
[19:49] SPEAKER_00: So there's always a concern that I hear from parents, adults with ADHD.
[19:54] SPEAKER_00: They're like, I am worried about if my child will be addicted to these medications.
[20:00] SPEAKER_00: I understand that, right?
[20:02] SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is a controlled substance.
[20:04] SPEAKER_00: It's heavily monitored.
[20:06] SPEAKER_00: Like any medication, there is abuse potential.
[20:09] SPEAKER_00: But we know that if you have ADHD, if you're diagnosed with ADHD and you are treated with ADHD with a stimulant medication, you are less likely to later down the route road, so like even years later, you're less likely to be diagnosed with a substance use disorder and you are less likely to self-medicate with substances.
[20:31] SPEAKER_00: So for example, like if you are not taking a stimulant medication, but you have ADHD and it's untreated, it actually reduces the risk by about 40%.
[20:41] SPEAKER_00: Wow.
[20:42] SPEAKER_00: It's pretty big.
[20:43] SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's across like different substances.
[20:47] SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of reasons why, of course, somebody they may utilize like drugs and alcohol, but for somebody with ADHD, the impulsivity, if you're at a party, for example, you'd be maybe more likely to engage in more like stimulation-seeking behaviors or risk-taking behaviors where you're trying out new things, right?
[21:03] SPEAKER_00: You're doing things without thinking through some of the potential consequences.
[21:08] SPEAKER_00: But also, maybe what you're doing is you may be using some substances as a way to reduce some of your symptoms, right?
[21:15] SPEAKER_00: So to kind of just chill you out or to kind of calm you down.
[21:19] SPEAKER_00: That type of self-medication is one of the reasons why people with ADHD, when it's untreated, they're more likely to develop a substance use disorder later.
[21:28] SPEAKER_00: I don't want to encourage it, obviously, but I can understand it.
[21:32] SPEAKER_00: I can understand absolutely why teens are going that route.
[21:36] SPEAKER_00: And of course, if you are a teen, you are potentially living with your parents, right?
[21:42] SPEAKER_00: And your parents are having a role in your medical treatment.
[21:47] SPEAKER_00: And so I think that's one of the reasons why it's so important for parents to have accurate information about the risks of untreated ADHD.
[21:56] SPEAKER_00: Teens experiment.
[21:58] SPEAKER_00: It is something that is very typical at their age.
[22:01] SPEAKER_00: But like when you're thinking about like treating their ADHD, we need to look very realistically and truthfully at a lot of the concerns that parents have for if I do treat them, will this lead to?
[22:13] SPEAKER_00: them utilizing substances more often or starting to drink alcohol.
[22:19] SPEAKER_00: We actually need to look at what if you don't treat their ADHD?
[22:23] SPEAKER_00: Will this lead to some unintended effects later down the line?
[22:27] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[22:27] SPEAKER_00: And how can we support them right now?
[22:29] SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like your answer is yes, based on research.
[22:32] SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
[22:32] SPEAKER_00: A hundred percent absolutely it's very clear that this is something that protects ADHD kids and teens.
[22:41] SPEAKER_00: There's even some interesting research I will say about how like when ADHD medications are started at a younger age, and by younger age I just mean childhood, like nine years and younger, that it actually does lead to like positive differences in the brain.
[22:56] SPEAKER_00: So there's this idea of neurogenesis where like with ADHD, there are some parts of the brain, like the frontal part in particular, that may be underdeveloped.
[23:05] SPEAKER_00: And taking these medications, it is showing in some people about 30 to 40%.
[23:10] SPEAKER_00: There are 30 to 40% of people where when taking these ADHD medications, it actually leads to growth in those areas.
[23:16] SPEAKER_00: So it is truly a treatment.
[23:19] SPEAKER_00: I think about ADHD treatment the same way I would think about insulin for diabetes, right?
[23:24] SPEAKER_00: We would never say like, well, I'm just going to like for diabetes for example, if you've been diagnosed with diabetes, just try and try it the hard way.
[23:31] SPEAKER_00: Just trying to try all the skills, right?
[23:34] SPEAKER_00: We know that like medication is super important.
[23:37] SPEAKER_00: The same way with glasses, right?
[23:39] SPEAKER_00: We would never tell somebody without glasses you just need to try and see better.
[23:43] SPEAKER_01: Right.
[23:43] SPEAKER_00: So why are we telling ADHD kids you just need to focus more?
[23:47] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[23:48] SPEAKER_00: It's like there is a physical difference and that's what we need to be focusing on.
[23:53] SPEAKER_01: Another one of the top asked questions on the internet about ADHD is what is ADHD paralysis and how do I break it?
[24:01] SPEAKER_00: ADHD paralysis, it is when you can't get started on something that you need to do.
[24:07] SPEAKER_00: You know you need to do a school project, a work project.
[24:11] SPEAKER_00: You know you need to do these things and you can't get started on it.
[24:14] SPEAKER_00: You feel like you are stuck.
[24:16] SPEAKER_00: You literally cannot do the first step.
[24:19] SPEAKER_00: You procrastinate for forever.
[24:21] SPEAKER_00: That is actually related to executive functioning.
[24:25] SPEAKER_00: So task initiation is considered an executive functioning skill that is hard for a lot of people and there are a lot of different skills that you can try out if you struggle with task initiation.
[24:37] SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I always suggest is changing your environment actually.
[24:42] SPEAKER_00: So if you work from home, getting started on a task at home may be harder than if you go to the coffee shop.
[24:48] SPEAKER_00: Working in the library may make it easier to do schoolwork than if you're doing it at home.
[24:53] SPEAKER_00: So changing your environment is really important.
[24:56] SPEAKER_00: I personally love coffee shops for doing work because you're surrounded by other people who are working.
[25:01] SPEAKER_00: That is called body doubling a lot of the times where it's like you are around other people who are also working.
[25:06] SPEAKER_00: So you have this accountability piece.
[25:09] SPEAKER_00: Accountability is super important for ADHD.
[25:12] SPEAKER_00: You need to make your goal known and other people need to know about it so that you are holding yourself accountable as well.
[25:20] SPEAKER_00: Thinking back to like time estimation, if I think this email is going to take me forever to do and I've done this so many times, I'm going to avoid it.
[25:29] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[25:30] SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get stuck on it.
[25:32] SPEAKER_00: But if I say, you know what?
[25:34] SPEAKER_00: I am just going to work on this task for two minutes or five minutes.
[25:38] SPEAKER_00: And at the end of those two minutes or five minutes, I'm not going to work any further.
[25:42] SPEAKER_00: It's so much easier to get started and work for two minutes than it is to say, I'm going to finish this entire email.
[25:48] SPEAKER_00: So because of that, I often recommend that we start with a very, very short amount of time that we're working and who knows at those two minutes, maybe I will want to keep working on it.
[25:57] SPEAKER_00: But what I always find is it's never as bad as I was making it out to be in my head.
[26:01] SPEAKER_01: So you mentioned body body doubling as an ADHD expert how could body doubling help someone with ADHD get over that paralysis?
[26:11] SPEAKER_00: ADHD paralysis really thrives when you are alone there is nobody there that is holding you accountable.
[26:19] SPEAKER_00: There is nobody there saying you need to get started on this.
[26:22] SPEAKER_00: Instead you are left to do it all by yourself.
[26:25] SPEAKER_00: And so body doubling really helps with that ADHD paralysis because it makes the task urgent.
[26:32] SPEAKER_00: There's somebody else there who is like what are you working on?
[26:36] SPEAKER_00: And then they tell you what they are also working on themselves.
[26:39] SPEAKER_00: So you guys have different goals but you are actually both there for the same purpose to complete a task.
[26:46] SPEAKER_00: And so making your goal known and having that other person there doesn't let all of the thoughts that come up in your mind thrive.
[26:55] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[26:55] SPEAKER_00: So if I'm by myself trying to get started on a task I may say this is going to take me 45 minutes to do or I can just wait for forever.
[27:02] SPEAKER_00: But there's somebody there that is keeping me accountable.
[27:05] SPEAKER_00: I have to do it.
[27:06] SPEAKER_01: So do we mean somebody there like you're studying beside someone or could this be virtual and you say okay for the next 10 minutes we're both going to do whatever we just said we were going to do and timer goes off.
[27:17] SPEAKER_00: It could absolutely be both of those.
[27:19] SPEAKER_00: I know there are certain websites that you can actually go there just for body doubling or you may have a friend where you're like hey let's meet up and do this work together virtually like some admin word or some emails and you meet up at a set time and you say okay I'm going to work on this your friend says this is what I'm going to work on and then you guys work, you set a timer and then you can build and break so you can chat too but in person it could be going to a coffee shop.
[27:44] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you may not know the people that are there but people are working.
[27:47] SPEAKER_00: They're doing other things or going to a library, right?
[27:50] SPEAKER_00: Everybody's quiet.
[27:51] SPEAKER_00: They're doing work.
[27:52] SPEAKER_00: I also like with kids that I work with um they will like body doubling when they are doing their laundry or when they're doing their homework at home.
[28:02] SPEAKER_00: And so what they may do is they may be at a dinner table doing their homework while their parent is cooking.
[28:07] SPEAKER_00: So you're both doing your own task but having that physical accountability there for what you're doing makes starting the task so much easier.
[28:16] SPEAKER_01: So as the parent, where's the line between body doubling with my student child and nagging them and making it worse?
[28:24] SPEAKER_00: You can be there body doubling and not be giving reminders.
[28:29] SPEAKER_00: Your physical presence is all that is needed for body doubling.
[28:33] SPEAKER_00: And that is so much different than a parent saying, hey did you do your homework?
[28:37] SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to get started on that right?
[28:40] SPEAKER_00: So like it's completely different in my mind where I see like a parent that's nagging maybe you're giving a ton of reminders but there is often like a lot of scaffolding or building up the steps that are needed for that independence.
[28:53] SPEAKER_00: And so as a parent you may have to remind them more often, but like you can start with what is one task that I want them to take more independence on, right?
[29:02] SPEAKER_00: So maybe it is packing their lunch for school.
[29:05] SPEAKER_00: Maybe what they do is they start off by you have them unpack their lunch when they get home, right?
[29:11] SPEAKER_00: And that's actually helping with packing but independence doesn't come naturally these are all skills we need to be taught and parents often have to go step by step with teaching their ADHD kids.
[29:21] SPEAKER_00: All right another question from the internet how do I focus with ADHD without burning out first off like I'm going to talk about like some like strategies maybe that you can use and like without the burning out like I know we've talked about meditation and we've talked about like a couple of other like visuals that you can use but like with ADHD and burnout one of the things that happens is like you have an idea of all of these things you need to do and want to do and you may not set realistic expectations for what you actually can do.
[29:53] SPEAKER_00: That can lead to burnout.
[29:55] SPEAKER_00: So if I have a to-do list of 20 things and I see that to-do list, I may try and do them all at once.
[30:04] SPEAKER_00: That's going to make me burnt out a lot of ADHD people hate time blocking but I think it's because you may be using it in the wrong way, myself included, looking at it as a tool to like really keep in mind what is realistic for you.
[30:19] SPEAKER_00: Start with three tasks.
[30:20] SPEAKER_00: Three tasks is all you can do for the day and that can help you focus first off by thinking like what are the three most important tasks that I need to do today.
[30:29] SPEAKER_00: And then what you should do is put them in your calendar.
[30:32] SPEAKER_00: If you put them in your calendar you're seeing this is going to take me about 20 minutes to do or an hour to do.
[30:38] SPEAKER_00: A to-do list without counting the time or putting into your calendar it's really just like a suggestion.
[30:44] SPEAKER_00: You are just doing it when you can and that doesn't give you any feedback on how long it actually takes you to do things.
[30:51] SPEAKER_00: And so of course you're setting yourself up for failure.
[30:54] SPEAKER_00: If you have a to-do list of 20 things, you have no idea how long it's going to take you and you try and do them all at once.
[31:00] SPEAKER_00: So really using time blocking as a way to see what can I do that will help you get less burnt out also.
[31:08] SPEAKER_01: So I'm hearing time blocking and we talked about time blindness.
[31:12] SPEAKER_01: How do those two things go together?
[31:13] SPEAKER_01: Do you start to notice that I gave myself 20 minutes to pack my lunch for school tomorrow and it actually took an hour.
[31:20] SPEAKER_01: So next time I'll leave an hour.
[31:22] SPEAKER_01: Is it a learning process?
[31:23] SPEAKER_00: That's exactly how it is.
[31:24] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[31:25] SPEAKER_00: It is just feedback for yourself.
[31:28] SPEAKER_00: Because I think why a lot of people with ADHD may hate time blocking like myself included is like it doesn't end up being how much time you expected it to be right.
[31:36] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[31:36] SPEAKER_00: But that's actually good because now you have better information to use that the next time right so if you think it takes me an hour to get ready in the morning I'm going to block that time in my calendar and then you see it only takes you 45 minutes changing the time in your calendar to that or just mentally making a note of it.
[31:52] SPEAKER_00: For time blocking you really do not have to have it be where your calendar 247 every single day is blocked with time.
[31:59] SPEAKER_00: I use it more as a way of looking at how long do these things actually take so that I can be realistic with myself about what I can get done and not overwhelm myself because I so often will try and put way too much in my calendar.
[32:12] SPEAKER_00: And if I do that, I get overwhelmed by all the things that I didn't get done for the day or that I still need to do tomorrow.
[32:18] SPEAKER_00: It's the same way if you have a to-do list with 20 items and you don't get through but three, of course you're going to feel overwhelmed and feel like why didn't I get through all these?
[32:25] SPEAKER_01: Maybe it wasn't possible and that's okay.
[32:28] SPEAKER_01: So when we're talking about ADHD and focus and you mentioned working in a coffee shop, I'm just thinking distractions.
[32:35] SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking music I'm thinking frothing, you know, I'm just thinking of all the sounds that as somebody I think without ADHD, but after this conversation I'm not as sure I I would be very distracted by it.
[32:47] SPEAKER_00: Noises certainly can be a distraction for people with ADHD but like some noises can actually help people with ADHD concentrate even more.
[32:56] SPEAKER_00: So like having like music on in the background for example can kind of set the tone or like even like yeah working in a coffee shop there may be a lot of like different noises popping up but like that noise can actually like almost calm an ADHD brain where it's not just quiet, right?
[33:16] SPEAKER_00: So like if it's quiet, there may be thoughts that pop up in your head but if there's some noise there's like some stimulation keeping it down where you don't hear it as often.
[33:25] SPEAKER_01: Moving on to another of the most asked questions on the internet is ADHD a disability at work or school?
[33:32] SPEAKER_00: I mean when people think about ADHD it is a mental health disorder right and the fact that it is a disorder means that there is that impairment that is there.
[33:41] SPEAKER_00: When I say like is ADHD a disability yes because it's impairing oftentimes at work and at school and there are accommodations that may be helpful for people with ADHD because it is a disability and accommodations are meant to help like level the playing field for people with ADHD because these things that you're experiencing they are not easily changed.
[34:04] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[34:05] SPEAKER_00: So the same way that somebody may have a physical disability, they cannot change that physical disability.
[34:11] SPEAKER_00: So there are certain accommodations that we may use to make things more even right so I even think about like if you are going into a building and it has a wheelchair ramp, for example.
[34:24] SPEAKER_00: That is something that makes it more accessible for people.
[34:27] SPEAKER_01: So what are some specific accommodations that can be made for somebody at work or at school so that they are on a more level playing field?
[34:36] SPEAKER_00: I'll talk about like with school first off because like with school there is what is called like a 504 or an IEP and it is actually like a legal it's like a legal document actually in which schools they may be required to provide reasonable accommodations to kids, teens at school or also in college as well.
[34:57] SPEAKER_00: These can include things like different types of seating so flexible seating options.
[35:02] SPEAKER_00: So some ADHD kids may do really well in the front of a classroom or they may do really well sitting next to a teacher, right?
[35:11] SPEAKER_00: Those are an accommodation.
[35:13] SPEAKER_00: It's not changing what your child is learning.
[35:15] SPEAKER_00: It's just changing some things about the environment in which they are in having like a visual list and I will say a lot of teachers already do this already but like having a visual list of these are my tasks for the day so that you're less reliant on the verbal instructions from the teacher is a very common one also.
[35:36] SPEAKER_00: For adults like if you're taking like a big licensing exam, for example, it may be possible to have that testing done in a less distracting area.
[35:46] SPEAKER_00: Like if you're taking like the GRE for example, SAT, or um I think the GRE was what I took when I was becoming a psychologist, but you can have the testing done where you have like a more a less distracting area and it's the same for kids at school.
[36:00] SPEAKER_00: And you may also be allowed to have extended time to take it because maybe you need more breaks throughout the day or maybe what you need is you actually need more time to account for you getting distracted when you're actually taking these tests.
[36:15] SPEAKER_00: So they're just all ways to level the playing field so that your true performance isn't actually outshined by your ADHD, right?
[36:24] SPEAKER_00: Or like so that your ADHD isn't actually hiding your true performance.
[36:28] SPEAKER_01: Right.
[36:29] SPEAKER_01: Is that something you work out with the school guidance counselor?
[36:32] SPEAKER_01: Does a parent have to walk in with a doctor's note and say, we have a diagnosis here and we request accommodations.
[36:38] SPEAKER_00: How does that process work for someone who hasn't done it yet typically like at your child's school there will be a point person who you will have to reach out to it could be the school counselor.
[36:49] SPEAKER_00: It could be a school psychologist and also schools can identify for themselves the people or the students who may need accommodations because they may be struggling in certain areas.
[37:00] SPEAKER_00: You don't have to have a diagnosis in order to get support.
[37:05] SPEAKER_00: Certainly it can be helpful to provide that information though to the school and you would just reach out to the school in writing is what I always recommend and say, hey, I have these concerns that my child is struggling in school due to their ADHD if they have been diagnosed or due to inattention hyperactivity symptoms.
[37:24] SPEAKER_00: I would like them to be evaluated for potential accommodations or a 504 plan or an IEP.
[37:31] SPEAKER_00: And then the school they will evaluate for like special education eligibility.
[37:36] SPEAKER_00: Those are the laws that it's under the schools they're not able to give a medical diagnosis but the evaluation for the eligibility it will like trigger an evaluation for them where they will look at how is your child doing in the classroom?
[37:50] SPEAKER_00: How are their grades?
[37:52] SPEAKER_00: Is there something that is impacting those pieces, right?
[37:55] SPEAKER_00: So is it potential ADHD?
[37:58] SPEAKER_00: And I will say this also is the case for physical disabilities as well.
[38:02] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[38:02] SPEAKER_00: So of course there are going to be accommodations for those in the classroom setting but the 504 plan will help with those accommodations and implementing them and then it is actually like a document and there will be meetings that you'll have with the school so that the teachers can understand how to better support your ADHD child in the classroom setting.
[38:22] SPEAKER_00: We didn't talk about ADHD accommodations, but I want to make sure we talk about also like people view ADHD as a strength too.
[38:29] SPEAKER_00: Yes.
[38:29] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[38:30] SPEAKER_00: Like when we talk about ADHD as a disability I certainly know that a lot of people they may think about like ADHD it's such a strength, right?
[38:38] SPEAKER_00: Or they view it as ADHD is in a disorder.
[38:41] SPEAKER_00: And myself personally the way that I view ADHD is that yes, it is a disorder and it is a disability and it has these great strengths to it.
[38:51] SPEAKER_00: So a lot of people with ADHD may be very creative.
[38:54] SPEAKER_00: They may have a unique way of thinking certainly and that's amazing right a lot of ADHD people are entrepreneurs or they may have like this really great ability to hyperfocus on something and that becomes a huge strength.
[39:09] SPEAKER_00: But we also know that there are a lot of things that are really hard for people with ADHD.
[39:14] SPEAKER_00: And I've seen a lot of people talking about how ADHD isn't a disability and I myself feel like it is because of the impairments that we experience and it also can still be a strength and a different way of thinking.
[39:28] SPEAKER_01: All right the last question this is in relation to relationships how do I explain my ADHD to my partner?
[39:35] SPEAKER_00: ADHD does affect relationships.
[39:38] SPEAKER_00: Like it certainly affects all types of relationships, I would say, but like it's going to depend on the type of relationship you have with someone but I do think that being open and honest about some of the things you struggle with can help your partner understand like it's not that they don't like me.
[39:56] SPEAKER_00: It's actually that their ADHD brain may make it that they don't text me back or they didn't call me back.
[40:02] SPEAKER_00: It's not a reflection of a relationship.
[40:04] SPEAKER_00: Certainly it's something that you need to communicate about and work through together because if you're struggling with calling them back, for example, you'll want to find a way to manage that and to handle it.
[40:15] SPEAKER_00: But I recommend talking about like what's hard for you.
[40:19] SPEAKER_00: Like if you don't feel comfortable saying I have ADHD and this is something I'm dealing with, you can say, you know what, something I really struggle with is being consistent in my communication and texting people back.
[40:31] SPEAKER_00: I prefer phone calls, right?
[40:34] SPEAKER_00: This is true for me.
[40:35] SPEAKER_00: So if you struggle with ADHD, knowing what you need can help a lot with that.
[40:40] SPEAKER_01: I find myself using the phrase the way my brain works.
[40:43] SPEAKER_00: The way my brain works is the way my brain works and everybody's brain works differently.
[40:48] SPEAKER_00: Every relationship is different and there are things that will work for you and that you will want to express to your partner.
[40:53] SPEAKER_00: And so I think that that's really the biggest thing.
[40:55] SPEAKER_00: If you feel comfortable sharing that you have ADHD, I think it can only open up that conversation even more and they can understand you even more about it.
[41:05] SPEAKER_00: I remember when I told my husband that I have ADHE, he had never heard about it before and he started like Googling and searching about so he didn't know how to understand me better and support me better, which I felt like was incredibly supportive of him and it helped us communicate around things right.
[41:21] SPEAKER_00: So like I do not text that often I am a caller.
[41:24] SPEAKER_00: And so he was able to tell me like yeah like if you just call me and tell me these things, right?
[41:28] SPEAKER_00: That's much easier than me waiting on a text message from you.
[41:32] SPEAKER_01: And with depression I'm the opposite right I don't want to have to do anything immediately.
[41:36] SPEAKER_01: I don't know how I'm going to be feeling when that text comes or the opposite like the text I can get back to you, but I do not want to have to pick up the phone have a conversation because I don't know where I am going to be at any given moment.
[41:45] SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
[41:46] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[41:46] SPEAKER_00: For me with text messages it's like it's another thing that I need to reply and that I will forget to reply about.
[41:52] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[41:53] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[41:54] SPEAKER_00: And so they do stack up.
[41:56] SPEAKER_00: They do stack up yes and my gosh a lot of people with ADHD they will have these email inboxes that are like 3000 unread emails.
[42:03] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[42:03] SPEAKER_00: You too yeah they do see we'll talk.
[42:06] SPEAKER_01: When we're talking about relationships in ADHD another question is how do you repair the relationship after impulsive moments?
[42:14] SPEAKER_00: Repairing after like impulsive moments like I think it's always important to first like when you're talking about these like maybe mistakes or impulsive things that have happened, use language that is very neutral when describing it be very fact-based, not using like always or never types of words in those extremes, but really just sticking with what happened in the moment.
[42:39] SPEAKER_00: So for example, if your child if they forgot their water bottle again, instead of saying you always forget this or you're so forgetful, really focusing on what happened in that moment.
[42:52] SPEAKER_00: You forgot your water bottle this morning I felt frustrated when that happened.
[42:57] SPEAKER_00: You can absolutely express that emotion, but if you're able to stick with like the facts of the situation and avoid like a label, an overall label, that will help with your relationship and the self-esteem of the other person in those times.
[43:11] SPEAKER_00: It's important to acknowledge the positives when you are talking after the fact and repairing it, right?
[43:17] SPEAKER_00: So if your child did something that was a mistake and it was impulsive, you want to find what is the first thing that is positive that they do that I can notice and acknowledge.
[43:28] SPEAKER_00: So if they did have a tantrum any emotional dysregulation outburst, of course they will need some time you may need some time as well, but you can always acknowledge after the fact thanks so much for calming down, right?
[43:41] SPEAKER_00: It's been estimated that ADHD kids receive up to like 2000 more negative messages than kids without ADHD.
[43:48] SPEAKER_00: So we want to what are we talking about time period here in a lifetime that's just in estimate yeah I think it's in a lifetime estimate um but I mean the reality is yes ADHD people do get more negative messages.
[44:01] SPEAKER_00: I yeah I mean if you think about like the impulsivity you're always having to say stop no don't do that.
[44:06] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[44:07] SPEAKER_00: So giving that positive helps counteract the negative messages that they may receive from other Adults in their lives, coaches or teachers, or parents, other parents too.
[44:18] SPEAKER_00: Sure.
[44:18] SPEAKER_00: Or friends.
[44:19] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[44:19] SPEAKER_01: So as we wrap up two weeks of conversation about ADHD, what's a takeaway that you would just like someone to, before this ends, say, oh, I get this a little bit better now?
[44:32] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'll just give a couple.
[44:33] SPEAKER_00: I mean, like ADHD is not something that people are doing on purpose.
[44:38] SPEAKER_00: ADHD is not laziness.
[44:40] SPEAKER_00: It's not a lack of motivation.
[44:42] SPEAKER_00: And it's not that somebody is not trying.
[44:44] SPEAKER_00: ADHD is truly a brain difference and it needs support in the exact same way that physical disabilities need support too.
[44:53] SPEAKER_00: So it's not something that people are trying to do.
[44:56] SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
[44:57] SPEAKER_00: And then the other one I would say is ADHD looks different on in everybody.
[45:03] SPEAKER_00: You can be smart and have ADHD.
[45:05] SPEAKER_00: You can be struggling in school and have ADHD.
[45:09] SPEAKER_00: You can be a CEO doing really amazing and still struggle with ADHD.
[45:15] SPEAKER_00: You can be a mom with ADHD.
[45:16] SPEAKER_00: You can be a dad with ADHD, a child or a teen.
[45:20] SPEAKER_00: It affects everybody in different ways.
[45:23] SPEAKER_00: And so understanding that, I think will help people really understand how ADHD affects people of all different types.
[45:31] SPEAKER_00: And it's not something that it's not the same as how we used to think of ADHD just affecting kids in school.
[45:38] SPEAKER_00: Right.
[45:38] SPEAKER_01: Boys in school.
[45:39] SPEAKER_00: Boys in school.
[45:40] SPEAKER_00: ADHD affects people in always and across their life too.
[45:45] SPEAKER_01: Dr.
[45:45] SPEAKER_01: Carey, thank you so much.
[45:47] SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate your insights, sharing your personal experience and all of the things you've learned practicing as well.
[45:53] SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me here.
[45:55] SPEAKER_01: And we will be back next week with a deep dive into another behavioral health topic.

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