# I Babysat My Brother On New Year's Eve, But He Came Home At 4am Drunk...

An episode of [Reddit Stories](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1830891511), 20 Aug 2025, 20 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO8926935509.mp3

I Babysat My Brother On New Year's Eve, But He Came Home At 4am Drunk...

## Transcript

[0:00] I babysat my brother on New Year's Eve, but he came home at
[0:03] 4:00 AM drunk and disrespected my time.
[0:05] Am I the asshole for being angry?
[0:08] I am a childless woman of 25 years of age.
[0:11] For weeks, my friends and I had been anticipating a New Year's
[0:14] Eve celebration at a rooftop bar with delicious cuisine, live
[0:17] music, and a view of the fireworks.
[0:19] The tickets were previously paid for by me.
[0:22] My brother called three days before the new year.
[0:25] He needed a babysitter because he and his wife had been invited
[0:28] to a posh party. He asserted that they had
[0:30] exhausted all other options, including friends, neighbors,
[0:33] and babysitters. He guaranteed me they would
[0:36] return by 1:00 AM and promised to pay me twice.
[0:39] Unwilling to disappoint him, I reluctantly consented in the
[0:42] hopes of catching the last of my party.
[0:44] At 6:00 PM on New Year's Eve, I reached their home.
[0:48] My brother described the children's night time routine
[0:50] while they were still in their pajamas.
[0:52] I got the kids to bed around 8:30 PM and they departed at
[0:55] 7:00 PM. I was thinking about how much
[0:58] fun my friends were having as I browsed through my phone at
[1:00] 10:00 PM while lounging on the couch.
[1:03] I told myself that I could join them in just a few hours.
[1:06] I texted my brother around midnight to see whether they
[1:08] were on road. No answer.
[1:11] I was irritated by 12:30 and attempted to contact him and his
[1:14] wife, but both calls went straight to voicemail.
[1:17] I even tried calling the location but got no response.
[1:20] I was alarmed when I saw a picture of them looking
[1:22] fantastic at the party on social media.
[1:25] I became angry instead of worried they were ignoring me,
[1:28] even though it was obvious they had their phones.
[1:30] I was angry at 2. AMI considered phoning their
[1:33] buddies but decided against it to avoid making a disturbance.
[1:36] I also left voicemails and texts.
[1:39] The kids slept peacefully, oblivious to my annoyance.
[1:42] When they finally arrived at 4:00 AM, my brother was
[1:45] intoxicated and his wife was not doing much better.
[1:48] I got up and went up to them without saying hello.
[1:50] What the devil? You promised to return at 1:00.
[1:54] How many times have I phoned you?
[1:55] Do you know? My brother chuckled and said
[1:58] calm down, the new year is here, you didn't have anything
[2:02] significant anyhow. I was shocked by his
[2:04] contemptuous demeanor. Did their plans take precedence
[2:07] over mine? Did my time not count?
[2:10] I informed him that I was sick of being treated disrespectfully
[2:13] and that if they were unable to honor my time or fulfill their
[2:16] commitments, I would no longer be able to watch the children.
[2:19] I was being dramatic, he replied, rolling his eyes.
[2:23] They only needed a night and couldn't find anyone, his wife
[2:25] muttered. The following morning I received
[2:28] a text from my brother warning me that I was being careless.
[2:31] He stated I should be more understanding and that they
[2:33] deserve to enjoy themselves. He even called me selfish, which
[2:37] was absurd considering the circumstances.
[2:39] They mislead me and act as though my time is useless in
[2:42] return for my numerous attempts to assist them.
[2:45] He is now upset with me since I told him I would no longer
[2:47] babysit. He says I'm overreacting and
[2:50] that I'm punishing him and his wife for a single error.
[2:53] But to me, this is a pattern of conduct rather than just
[2:55] something that happens on New Year's Eve.
[2:57] The unwavering belief that I'll do anything to assist them, and
[3:00] the total disregard for my personal boundaries because I
[3:03] adore my niece and nephew and don't want them to think I'm
[3:06] leaving them. I'm torn.
[3:07] However, I also believe that I must advocate for myself.
[3:11] When will I establish boundaries?
[3:12] If not now? Is it my fault that I've decided
[3:15] to stop babysitting? First UPDATE I began to feel as
[3:19] though things were calming down a few weeks after the New Year's
[3:21] Eve disaster. To be honest, it felt like a
[3:24] weight had been taken off my shoulders when I committed to my
[3:26] choice to stop babysitting for my brother.
[3:29] Even though I adore my niece and nephew, I couldn't keep putting
[3:32] myself in situations where I was taken advantage of and treated
[3:35] disrespectfully. It was about respecting myself,
[3:38] setting limits, and appreciating my own time.
[3:41] My phone rang 1 evening. My brother was the one I paused
[3:44] before answering, speculating about the topic of the call.
[3:47] He requested me to watch the kids after a clumsy beginning.
[3:51] He claimed that he and his spouse had no one else to turn
[3:53] to and were forced to work late. He expressed regret for the
[3:56] events of New Year's Eve, stating that they had learnt
[3:59] their lesson and that it was an isolated incident.
[4:02] He underlined how much they trusted me with the kids and
[4:04] assured them it wouldn't happen again.
[4:06] He even said that I was the only one who could manage them.
[4:09] Despite my want to believe him, I was unable to do so.
[4:13] They had not only arrived home late on New Year's Eve, but they
[4:16] had also completely disregarded my sentiments, my plans, and my
[4:19] time. I informed him that I couldn't.
[4:22] I clarified that, particularly after being humiliated the last
[4:25] time, I wasn't prepared to be in that situation once again.
[4:29] He did not protest, which surprised me.
[4:31] He didn't exert pressure. He simply hung up for a brief
[4:35] period. I felt relieved since I had
[4:37] defended myself and believed that was the end of it.
[4:40] However, my phone called once more later that evening.
[4:43] It was my mom this time. I realized right away that she
[4:46] wasn't phoning to catch up. When she called from overseas,
[4:49] where she had been residing for a few months, she immediately
[4:52] jumped in and expressed her disappointment at my refusal to
[4:55] assist my brother. She made statements that really
[4:57] resonated with me, such as, you know how hard it is for them to
[5:01] juggle work and kids. If I were there, I'd be happy to
[5:04] take the kids off their hands. She seemed to be attempting to
[5:07] guilt me into agreeing, and my feelings of conflict increased
[5:10] as she spoke. On the one hand, I was aware
[5:13] that I had every right to refuse.
[5:15] I didn't have to intervene each time my brother and his spouse
[5:17] required assistance. On the other side, the idea that
[5:21] my niece and nephew were entangled in it was devastating.
[5:24] I eventually gave in to my mother's persistent demands,
[5:26] which included statements like it's just for one night and
[5:30] you're their family, you have to be there for them, just for this
[5:33] one time. I promised her I would, with a
[5:35] tone of relief, almost triumph. She thanked me and I hung up the
[5:39] phone with a mix of resignation and sadness.
[5:42] After work the following day, I arrived at my brother's place.
[5:45] My brother and his wife were on the verge of leaving and the
[5:48] kids were already home, bouncing around the living room.
[5:51] They hurried left the door after saying only a brief thank you,
[5:54] as if they were simply pleased that I had finally decided to
[5:57] help and didn't want to give me an opportunity to back out.
[6:00] I couldn't help but note how rushed they were with the kids.
[6:03] I became accustomed to the evening routine, food, play
[6:06] time, and bedtime. Everything seemed recognizable,
[6:09] almost reassuring in its consistency.
[6:12] As usual, the children were sweet and oblivious to the
[6:14] conflict between their parents and myself.
[6:17] I briefly questioned whether I had overreacted.
[6:20] Perhaps they truly had nowhere else to turn and I was providing
[6:23] assistance during a time of true need.
[6:25] However, the resentment persisted throughout the night.
[6:28] I enjoyed spending time with the kids, but that wasn't the main
[6:31] focus. It was about how, after
[6:33] everything that had transpired, my brother and his wife had
[6:36] placed me in this predicament once more.
[6:39] I couldn't stop thinking about how my brother laughed when I
[6:41] told him how angry I was on New Year's Eve and how he discounted
[6:44] my sentiments. This was not a single error.
[6:47] Rather, it was a pattern of total disregard for me as a
[6:50] human being with a life and obligations of my own.
[6:53] My brother texted me at around 9:00 PM to let me know they
[6:56] would be arriving home a little later than expected.
[6:58] I didn't respond. I remained silent.
[7:01] I simply hung up the phone and concentrated on getting the kids
[7:04] to sleep around 9:30. They eventually slept off and I
[7:08] was left waiting for the door to open while sitting on the couch
[7:11] and watching the clock. They arrived home at midnight,
[7:13] which is somewhat later than I had committed to, but not as
[7:16] late as New Year's Eve. My brother said another halting
[7:19] thank you as they walked in and I walked out without a word.
[7:23] I didn't think I could talk at that point without it becoming a
[7:25] heated debate. I was still apprehensive about
[7:28] the night before when I got up the following morning.
[7:31] All of the resentment I had been attempting to control was
[7:33] rekindled when my brother and his wife arrived home late once
[7:36] more. In addition to feeling used, I
[7:38] also felt torn. Perhaps they arrived at work
[7:41] quite late. Perhaps they weren't taking
[7:43] advantage of me again. A part of me wanted to doubt
[7:45] them, but I kept thinking about it.
[7:48] I made some coffee and browsed through my phone before checking
[7:50] social media, which is a popular way to divert my attention from
[7:54] unresolved grievances. I found a tale that one of my
[7:56] brother's friends had posted as I was scrolling.
[7:59] It was an image of a welcoming cafe where people congregate to
[8:02] unwind and enjoy themselves. I didn't give it much thought at
[8:05] first, but then I saw that my brother and his wife were in the
[8:08] pictures backdrop. They appeared completely
[8:10] comfortable as they sat at a table chatting and sipping
[8:13] drinks. I briefly believed it to be an
[8:15] old photograph shot weeks or months ago.
[8:18] Then I noticed the time stamp. Though.
[8:20] When I was at their house the previous evening, watching their
[8:23] children and wondering why they were getting home so late, I
[8:26] came across the post. They weren't at their jobs.
[8:29] They didn't experience an unforeseen crisis.
[8:32] I once again sacrificed my evening by sitting at their
[8:34] house while they were out having fun because I trusted their
[8:37] justifications. Anger and incredulity were
[8:40] brewing inside of me as I gazed at my phone.
[8:42] What were they able to do? They deceived me once more after
[8:45] all that transpired on New Year's Eve, despite all of the
[8:48] assurances and regrets. Even worse, they tricked me into
[8:52] believing that they needed my assistance because of an
[8:54] emergency. And I was duped once more.
[8:57] For some minutes, I was at a loss for what to do.
[9:00] A part of me wanted to dismiss it, act as though I hadn't
[9:03] noticed anything, and move on. However, my anger increased as I
[9:07] gave it more thought. This was a purposeful act of
[9:09] dishonesty, not only a small white lie.
[9:12] They purposefully chose to employ me since they knew I
[9:15] wouldn't consent to babysit in any other way.
[9:17] As if to make fun of me for thinking they would change, they
[9:20] took advantage of me once more. I was unable to stop.
[9:24] I texted my brother after opening my messaging app to let
[9:26] him know that I had seen the photos and that I was aware of
[9:29] his deceit. Despite my diminutive stature, I
[9:32] didn't hold back. I wanted him to understand that
[9:34] I wasn't gullible and that I wasn't going to ignore it.
[9:37] I waited for an answer while staring at my phone, feeling
[9:40] both anxious and excited. It was like adding salt to an
[9:43] open sore. When he eventually responded, he
[9:45] acknowledged it. He claimed they lied since they
[9:48] were aware that I wouldn't have consented to babysit in any
[9:50] other situation. The evidence that my own brother
[9:53] and his wife had no trouble lying to me in order to obtain
[9:56] what they desired was there in black and white.
[9:59] He made no attempt to explain it or claim that it was a
[10:01] misunderstanding, simply said it was a premeditated move.
[10:06] Stunned, I sat there. There was nothing to say and I
[10:09] wasn't even sure how to respond. I was stunned by the blatant
[10:12] insolence. It wasn't due to a breakdown in
[10:15] communication or a conflict and priorities.
[10:18] It was deceit and a total lack of concern for me personally.
[10:21] They viewed me as a convenience, someone they could utilize
[10:24] whenever it was convenient for them, rather than as a member of
[10:26] their family. In an attempt to comprehend what
[10:29] had just transpired, I set my phone aside and gazed out the
[10:32] window. Of course I was angry, but I
[10:35] felt anguished more than anger. That I could be treated this way
[10:38] by my own brother was painful. It was painful that after
[10:41] repeatedly giving them the benefit of the doubt, I was
[10:44] shown to be mistaken. They took advantage of my trust
[10:47] and betrayed it. The remainder of the day was a
[10:49] blur, I was unable to concentrate on anything else.
[10:53] I repeatedly relive the incident in my mind, recalling all the
[10:56] instances in which I had sacrificed everything for them,
[10:59] putting their demands ahead of my own, only to be met with
[11:01] deceit and manipulation. The pattern was more important
[11:04] than the Cafe shot alone. Utter disregard for me as an
[11:08] individual with a life and priorities of my own.
[11:11] I made a choice. At the end of the day, I had had
[11:13] enough of babysitting and going above and above for individuals
[11:16] who obviously didn't appreciate me.
[11:18] There was no use in me confronting my brother anymore.
[11:21] He had stated unequivocally that he saw nothing wrong with his
[11:24] behavior. But this time I was determined
[11:27] to set a real barrier, put an end to babysitting.
[11:30] No more hurried phone calls. No more feeling guilty about
[11:33] giving up my time and effort for folks who couldn't even be
[11:36] honest with me. I experienced an odd sensation
[11:39] of relief as I sat there thinking about everything.
[11:42] Yes, it hurt, but it was liberating as well.
[11:45] I was at last prioritizing myself, and for the first time
[11:48] in a very long time, I felt that I was acting in the best
[11:50] interests of myself, not my mother or brother. 2nd update
[11:55] After a few days, I was trying my best to move on from my
[11:58] brother's treachery. Even though I was still hurting.
[12:01] I had no intention of talking to him anymore.
[12:04] No matter how much guilt, manipulation, or slick talk I
[12:07] received, I had already decided that I would never again
[12:10] babysit. It wasn't worthwhile.
[12:12] I had tried to be the helpful, trustworthy sister for far too
[12:15] long, only to be taken advantage of and lied to.
[12:18] I assumed that if the matter didn't resolve itself, it was
[12:21] their fault, not mine. My phone then rang.
[12:24] It was my mother. At first I didn't give it much
[12:27] thought, thinking it would be a friendly conversation or perhaps
[12:30] another attempt by her to coerce me into assisting my brother,
[12:33] but I knew something wasn't right.
[12:35] As soon as I responded, she seemed annoyed, almost accusing,
[12:38] and I instantly prepared myself for whatever was about to
[12:41] happen. She got right into it, claiming
[12:43] that after talking to my brother, he informed her that I
[12:46] hadn't watched the kids that evening.
[12:48] I initially believed I had misheard her.
[12:50] She couldn't be saying what I believed her to be saying,
[12:52] surely? She continued, however, reciting
[12:56] what he had told her, namely that they had hired a nanny
[12:58] since I had declined to assist. My brother reportedly informed
[13:02] her that they intended to keep employing nannies since, in his
[13:04] view, I wasn't good with kids. I was taken entirely by surprise
[13:08] and startled. I had no idea how to interpret
[13:11] what I was hearing. In addition to deceiving me and
[13:14] tricking me into watching the kids that evening, my brother
[13:16] was now lying to our mother about what had transpired.
[13:20] To make things worse, he was making fun of me by suggesting
[13:23] that I couldn't possibly take care of my niece and nephew.
[13:26] He seemed to be trying to twist the story to make himself appear
[13:29] like the victim and was stepping up his disdain, which felt like
[13:32] a slap in the face. Naturally, my mother seemed to
[13:35] believe him. She began to ask, Why didn't you
[13:37] just lend a hand? She had obviously accepted his
[13:40] account of events without questioning anything, saying
[13:43] things like it's not that hard to watch kids for one evening.
[13:46] To be honest, that was nearly as painful as the falsehoods
[13:49] themselves. I had spent years demonstrating
[13:51] my dependability, my concern for my family, and my willingness to
[13:55] lend a hand whenever necessary. However, she was prepared to
[13:59] disregard all of it because my brother had made-up a
[14:01] preposterous tale to hide his identity.
[14:03] I sat there trying to figure out why he would tell such a
[14:06] falsehood. Was it shame, guilt, or just
[14:09] another instance of his avoiding responsibility for his actions?
[14:12] Perhaps he didn't want to tell our mother that he and his
[14:14] spouse had lied to me about having to work late, or that
[14:17] they had gone out to a cafe while I was at home with the
[14:19] kids. Perhaps it was simpler for him
[14:21] to blame me, to make it appear that I was the one who had
[14:24] failed them, than to acknowledge that he had been dishonest.
[14:27] I couldn't believe he would go to such lengths, though.
[14:29] Whatever of his motivations, it was now more about the idea
[14:33] behind it than it was about myself.
[14:35] He was trying to harm my reputation in our family by
[14:37] lying to our mother. For what purpose?
[14:41] To keep one's face intact? To escape accountability for his
[14:44] deeds? I didn't see how he could defend
[14:46] it to himself, and it felt harsh and petty.
[14:49] I came to the conclusion that there was no use in attempting
[14:52] to tell my mother the truth while she continued to speak.
[14:55] Her decision was already made. He had likely been extremely
[14:58] convincing in his account of events, and I knew my brother.
[15:01] I didn't have the energy to dispute because it would just
[15:03] become a he said, she said situation.
[15:06] In addition, I had the feeling that it wasn't worth anything at
[15:09] all. Perhaps it said more about my
[15:11] mother than it did about me, if she was so willing to believe
[15:14] him. Without hearing my side of the
[15:15] story, I hardly responded. Letting her speak, I hung up and
[15:19] sat there looking at my phone. When the discussion finally
[15:22] finished, I was exhausted, dejected, and most of all,
[15:25] extremely wounded. It was more than simply the
[15:28] lies, it was about my own brother using me as a scapegoat
[15:31] to hide his inappropriate behavior and my mother
[15:34] mindlessly supporting it. I repeatedly reenacted the
[15:37] scenario in my mind over the course of the following few
[15:39] days. I reflected on the numerous
[15:41] occasions I had gone above and beyond to support my brother,
[15:44] the sacrifices I had made for him and his family, and the
[15:47] apparent lack of appreciation on his part.
[15:50] I reflected on how my mother had assumed the worst about me
[15:52] without even attempting to get my side of the story, and how
[15:55] she had been so quick to support him.
[15:57] And the more I gave it more thought, the more I saw that
[15:59] this went beyond what had just transpired.
[16:02] My brother was always the golden child who could do no wrong, and
[16:06] I was supposed to take the fall for it.
[16:08] It was about a pattern, a dynamic that had existed for
[16:10] years. I briefly contemplated going up
[16:13] to my brother, confronting him, exposing his deception, and
[16:16] requesting an explanation. However, that idea appeared less
[16:20] tempting the more I considered it.
[16:21] What would it achieve? He had previously demonstrated
[16:24] his unwillingness to accept accountability for his deeds.
[16:28] To confront him would just result in more manipulation,
[16:30] more falsehoods and more excuses.
[16:33] To be honest, I didn't require such negativity in my life.
[16:37] I made the decision to stand back.
[16:38] Instead, I began concentrating on myself.
[16:41] Stop talking to my mother about the problem and stop returning
[16:44] my brother's calls. It wasn't simple.
[16:47] A part of me was concerned about how my connection with my niece
[16:50] and nephew could be impacted by the friction in my family, which
[16:53] I detested. However, I also realized that I
[16:56] couldn't continue to put myself in precarious circumstances
[16:59] where I was treated disrespectfully and taken
[17:01] advantage of. Ultimately, I understood that
[17:04] establishing boundaries was about protecting myself, not
[17:07] about punishing others. It was about not allowing the
[17:09] behavior of others to determine my value as a person.
[17:13] And although it was painful to take a step back, it was also
[17:15] freeing to prioritize myself at last.
[17:18] Third update. I avoided my mother and brother
[17:21] in the weeks and months that followed.
[17:23] Although it was a difficult choice, it was essential.
[17:26] I came to the realization that I needed time to recover and take
[17:29] care of myself after everything that had transpired.
[17:32] I made the decision to leave it all because the ongoing drama,
[17:35] deception, and disrespect had worn me down.
[17:38] Restoring my feeling of self worth and establishing a life
[17:41] where I felt appreciated and respected were more important
[17:43] than merely establishing boundaries.
[17:46] I devoted all of my time to my career and interests.
[17:48] Throughout this period. I spent more time with friends
[17:51] who never made me feel like I was asking too much simply for
[17:54] being there, and who always gave me unwavering support.
[17:56] In addition to trying new things I had been putting off for
[17:59] years, like joining a local book club and taking up yoga, I began
[18:02] to accept social invitations more frequently.
[18:05] I was able to find who I was outside of the family dynamics
[18:08] that had taken up so much of my energy thanks to these seminars.
[18:11] I first met my boyfriend on one of these outings with pals.
[18:14] I never would have imagined how he would alter my life.
[18:17] We first met at a small get together at the home of a mutual
[18:20] acquaintance. I wasn't really excited to go at
[18:22] first since I was still dealing with the emotional fallout from
[18:25] everything that had happened to my family.
[18:27] However, my pals were correct when they said it would benefit
[18:30] me. I met him through a friend of a
[18:32] friend during a card game. We wound up sitting next to each
[18:36] other and what began as light hearted teasing over who would
[18:38] win evolved into a meaningful, interesting discussion.
[18:42] He was kind, focused, and sincerely interested in what I
[18:45] was saying. I felt heard and seen for the
[18:47] first time in a long time. We discussed everything from job
[18:50] to favorite movies to hobbies, and at the end of the night I
[18:53] couldn't recall ever laughing so hard.
[18:56] We began seeing each other on a regular basis after that
[18:58] evening. Initially it was informal coffee
[19:01] dates, park walks, and late night phone conversations that
[19:04] continued into the morning. However, as the weeks passed, it
[19:08] became evident that this was something unique in ways I
[19:11] didn't realize I needed. He was patient, kind, and
[19:14] encouraging. He reminded me that it's
[19:16] acceptable to put my own needs first, respected my limits, and
[19:20] pushed me to advocate for myself.
[19:22] It was refreshing to spend time with him.
[19:24] He didn't have the manipulation or emotional baggage I was so
[19:27] accustomed to for my family. Rather, he helped me realize
[19:30] that not all relationships need to be stressful or conflictual
[19:33] by bringing stability and optimism into my life.
[19:36] Additionally, he assisted me in managing my feelings toward my
[19:39] family by advising me to handle the matter diplomatically while
[19:42] also reminding me that it was acceptable to leave if it was
[19:45] negatively impacting my mental well-being.

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