# I Suffocated By The Way My Girlfriend Turns Everyday Life Into A Fairy Tale...

An episode of [Reddit Stories](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1830891511), 3 Nov 2025, 17 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO9430889367.mp3

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## Transcript

[0:00] I suffocated by the way my girlfriend turns everyday life
[0:03] into a fairy tale. How can I tell her the truth
[0:06] without breaking her heart? Throw away because my main topic
[0:09] can be connected to my girlfriend's blog.
[0:11] I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months.
[0:14] We've been casual friends since college but only began dating
[0:17] after she graduated. We get along really well.
[0:20] When I say Princess syndrome, I don't mean that she is spoiled
[0:23] or entitled because she isn't. Her clothes seem to take over
[0:27] her life. She dresses like a sort of fairy
[0:29] tale Princess on a near daily basis, excluding at work.
[0:33] Long frilly skirts, Lacy blouses, things like that.
[0:37] It works for her because she is very pretty and can pull it off.
[0:40] At first I found it to be very endearing, but then I became
[0:43] aware of how much time she spends on her outfits.
[0:46] She runs A blog that has a sizable amount of followers and
[0:49] she is constantly posting outfit pictures, links to clothing
[0:52] items and what not. She spends a few hours a day on
[0:55] her blog at least, then she spends time sewing items for new
[0:58] outfits or for her Etsy store. When we go out, we get a lot of
[1:02] stares at what she's wearing. I've also caught people sneaking
[1:05] pictures of her on their cell phones.
[1:07] This attention makes me uncomfortable.
[1:09] I have asked her to tone it down a bit, but she took that to me
[1:12] not wearing anything in her hair when we're out together.
[1:15] I have told her several times that I love her just the way she
[1:18] is but she seems to brush it off.
[1:20] I had hoped when she started her new job in the career of her
[1:23] choice that she would become more serious but her new boss
[1:25] and Co workers encouraged her. I worry that people won't take
[1:28] her seriously or miss how kind and intelligent she is.
[1:32] How can I talk to her about dressing more appropriately
[1:34] without hurting her feelings? Update one too long, didn't read
[1:39] Girlfriend dresses like a Princess.
[1:41] How do I talk to her about it? Relevant comments Commenter.
[1:44] Sounds like you have to get over your insecurities.
[1:47] This is her hobby, her interest, and she's getting positive
[1:50] reactions. You shouldn't be trying to
[1:53] change her, especially when it was something that initially
[1:55] drew you to her. Oop, I guess I'm having trouble
[1:59] seeing clothing as a hobby. I play video games as a hobby,
[2:03] but that doesn't cause strangers to take pictures of me when I'm
[2:05] trying to shop at the supermarket.
[2:07] I get your point that it initially drew me to her,
[2:09] because it did. That's fair.
[2:12] I guess I didn't think that it would be such a constant thing
[2:14] in her life, especially after she graduated.
[2:17] Commenter. So you love her just the way she
[2:20] is, but you're assuming she'll take that to mean she should
[2:22] change how she is? That doesn't make sense.
[2:25] This is how she is. She enjoys dressing up like this
[2:29] shit. She posts outfit photos online
[2:31] because she enjoys it so much. Other people encourage her
[2:34] because they do like how she is. If you don't like the attention,
[2:37] ask her some time to just go out with you while she's wearing a
[2:40] casual outfit. But keep in mind that she
[2:42] already loves what she's normally wearing.
[2:44] OOP, this is my problem. How do I ask her to dress more
[2:47] casually around me without her misinterpreting what I mean
[2:49] again and also not hurting her feelings?
[2:52] I can think of ways to say 1/2 of that, but it doesn't work
[2:55] with the other half. Comment her.
[2:57] If you love her the way she is, why do you want her to change?
[3:00] Just curious. OOP, she doesn't need all the
[3:03] frilly stuff. She'd still look like a
[3:05] Princess. And it's one thing for an artsy
[3:08] college student to dress alternatively, but she's a 23
[3:11] year old woman now. I feel like her clothing masks
[3:14] how smart she is and makes her appear shallow.
[3:16] Is it for attention? I do think it's an attention
[3:19] thing. She says she doesn't care about
[3:21] what people think about her, but she spends so much time on her
[3:24] blog replying to comments and such, I kind of doubt it.
[3:27] She also has told me that she loves being approached by little
[3:30] girls while she's dressed up, which definitely makes me think
[3:33] it's about attention. She doesn't dress
[3:35] inappropriately by those standards.
[3:37] She is well groomed and doesn't show much skin, but is it
[3:40] appropriate to wear Lacy dresses and flower crowns to the
[3:42] supermarket? Again, it attracts unnecessary
[3:45] attention. Update 2.
[3:48] I didn't plan on updating but things changed.
[3:50] I realized from my Last Post that I needed to be more
[3:53] supportive but also communicate on how she could dress down on
[3:56] certain occasions so we could both be comfortable.
[3:58] Well, I never got a chance to talk to her about it.
[4:01] Last week she called and wanted to stop by my apartment after
[4:04] work. When she got there I offered to
[4:06] make dinner but she said she couldn't stay and we had to
[4:09] talk. I jokingly asked if she was
[4:11] breaking up with me and she looked really guilty.
[4:14] You can see where this is going. We talked about how we were in
[4:17] different places in life and had different goals for the future.
[4:20] Well, she talked but I agreed. It was a pretty amicable breakup
[4:25] even though I felt blindsided. We agreed to stay friends.
[4:28] I've never been dumped before and it's fucking awful.
[4:31] I'm having trouble with the whole social media thing post
[4:34] breakup. I want a way to keep in touch
[4:36] with her but as soon as her relationship status changed all
[4:39] these alternative looking guys have been liking her posts and
[4:42] commenting on her pictures. I don't think she's seeing these
[4:44] guys but it still hurts. My friend wants to set me up on
[4:48] a date but I don't know if it's a good idea.
[4:51] Relevant comments commenter. Fickle is the head that wears
[4:54] the floured lace crown. It was never going to work out
[4:57] anyway. You had some laughs and some
[5:00] good times. Enjoy that and move on OP.
[5:03] I understood some of her reasoning.
[5:05] Mainly I want to move out of the city once my lease is up and I
[5:08] wanted her to move in with me. I was worried about the long
[5:11] distance. She didn't want to leave the
[5:13] city though. She said something about me
[5:16] being controlling too, but I don't think that's the case at
[5:18] all. Blocker.
[5:20] We agreed to stay friends so I don't want to block her.
[5:23] Update 3-9 years. Eight months later, I was going
[5:27] through an old e-mail and found this account again.
[5:30] I was surprised I could still log in, and even more by the
[5:33] amount of people who had reached out to me.
[5:35] It's a bit embarrassing to relive this breakup from almost
[5:37] 10 years ago. In retrospect, it wasn't meant
[5:40] to be, and I think I was reeling more from getting dumped than
[5:42] the loss of the relationship. I am 33 now and married to a
[5:46] wonderful woman, 31 female for four years.
[5:50] I learned my lesson about supporting my significant
[5:52] other's hobbies. My wife loves running and
[5:54] baking. We have a daughter who is
[5:56] turning 3 this year. I want her to be free to express
[5:59] herself how she likes, as long as it is safe.
[6:02] Of course I would do anything for them.
[6:04] I am still friends with my ex-boyfriend on social media.
[6:07] We don't talk but we'll like each other's posts.
[6:10] She is married to another woman now who also dresses
[6:12] differently. It's not as frilly as she used
[6:15] to dress, but still unusual. Her pictures look like something
[6:18] out of Anne of Green Gables. She seems very happy on their
[6:21] farm together. Too long, didn't read, was dumb.
[6:24] In my early 20s, got over an old breakup and now I am married and
[6:28] happily supporting my wife's hobbies.
[6:30] Relevant comment commenter. Can we expect an update in 10
[6:34] years when your daughter has become a teenager and developed
[6:37] Princess syndrome? Also, congratulations on your
[6:40] life OOP. Well she does love pink and
[6:43] purple. Now to the next story story too.
[6:46] I was harassed by my coworkers for suddenly losing weight after
[6:49] undergoing emergency surgery to remove an 18 LB tumor.
[6:52] I just came back to work after a month long emergency medical
[6:55] leave. The TLDR is that after a decade
[6:58] of medical gaslighting, a new Doctor ordered an emergency MRI
[7:02] during a routine visit and discovered a mass in my abdomen.
[7:05] I was rushed into surgery within 24 hours.
[7:08] I ended up having an 18 LB benign tumor pressing on my
[7:11] vital organs and I was about a week away from multiple organ
[7:13] failure. I'm lucky to be alive and time
[7:16] will tell if I have any lasting organ damage, but right now
[7:18] everything is fine. Mentally I'm struggling with a
[7:21] few things but the only outwardly noticeable impact is
[7:23] that I've gone from a size 20 to a size 8.
[7:26] Nobody on my medical team anticipated a change this
[7:29] drastic but I'm healthy and lucky.
[7:31] I was expecting to get a lot of questions from my Co workers
[7:34] because curiosity exists. I had a basic emergency surgery
[7:37] but I'm fine now. Answer that.
[7:39] Almost everyone accepted but one Co worker who I hardly speak to,
[7:42] Aubrey. On my first day back to work,
[7:45] Aubrey came up to me and said I wish you had come to me to lose
[7:48] weight instead of resorting to such drastic measures.
[7:50] You're going to gain it all back, you know.
[7:52] I'll be waiting. I was aware of Aubrey's
[7:54] reputation but since we never worked together I didn't think
[7:57] it would be an issue. She's one of those people who
[8:00] thinks they're a fitness expert and calls herself a health
[8:02] coach, nothing to do with the company we work for.
[8:05] She has a reputation for giving out unsolicited and incorrect
[8:08] health advice and is always commenting on people's food
[8:11] choices. I was speechless when she asked
[8:13] why I opted to get butchered instead of putting in the hard
[8:16] work to lose the weight. There's nothing wrong with
[8:18] someone choosing surgical weight loss options, but that's not
[8:21] what happened to me, and I really resented her aggressive
[8:24] attitude spreading rumors. During my second week back, she
[8:27] came by my office at the end of the day in athletic gear,
[8:29] offering to go with me if I was too afraid to go to the gym
[8:32] alone. At the time I wasn't even
[8:34] cleared to lift my kid, do laundry, or climb a flight of
[8:37] stairs, let alone go to the gym with this crackpot.
[8:40] I don't remember what I said to her, but she left saying I'd
[8:43] gain the weight back because I'm lazy.
[8:45] The next day Aubrey ranted angrily about me in a meeting I
[8:48] wasn't in. Missed it for a follow up
[8:50] ironically. I don't know everything that was
[8:52] said, but the gist was that if I can't dedicate myself to weight
[8:55] loss, I obviously can't see my work obligations through.
[8:59] HR called for a red flag mediation at our company.
[9:02] Mediation can go against your bonus opportunities for the
[9:05] year. I have no idea why I'm in
[9:07] mediation when she's the one being an asshat.
[9:10] At the mediation, Aubrey stated that she was triggered by my new
[9:13] body and I should have thought of other people's feelings and
[9:16] warned her. Before my surgery.
[9:18] I hardly had time to warn my husband and get my kid out of
[9:20] daycare. I don't owe Aubrey anything.
[9:23] I have empathy that she's obviously struggling, but that
[9:26] does not excuse her behavior. HR said that while they can't
[9:29] ask me to explain my medical history, it might clear the air
[9:32] if I told her what kind of surgery I had and why.
[9:35] I said I wasn't obligated to share my medical information
[9:38] with anyone and that Aubrey having bad coping skills doesn't
[9:40] entitle her to a Co worker's personal health information.
[9:43] Their response was kind of well then we can't stop her from
[9:46] bullying you. After Thanksgiving my doctor
[9:49] helped me put an ADA accommodation paperwork so I
[9:52] could work from home. I was having some mild
[9:54] complications from surgery but also to avoid Aubrey.
[9:57] This company hates remote work, so they're really not happy.
[10:01] Aubrey still emails me workout videos and diet plans, and when
[10:04] I forward them to HR, their response is noted.
[10:07] Do you know when you're coming back to the office?
[10:10] I've been thinking about escalating this to corporate
[10:12] with an employment lawyer. Is that overkill?
[10:15] I'm still in a sensitive place after my surgery and I have no
[10:18] energy for this, especially since Aubrey is fixated on
[10:21] weight loss, which was the primary way doctors gassed me
[10:23] for years. I've been with this company for
[10:25] five years and I'm just exhausted and disappointed in
[10:28] how they're handling this and I want it over yesterday.
[10:31] Update 1. All I have to say for this
[10:33] update is hold on to your banana pants.
[10:35] I saw a lot of comments asking where management was in all
[10:38] this, so I'll address that first.
[10:40] My boss, George was getting ready to retire while this was
[10:43] going on. George is roughly my
[10:45] grandfather's age, so this entire situation bewildered both
[10:48] him and his replacement, who he was training at the time.
[10:51] Both of them met with Aubrey's boss because believe me, I was
[10:54] documenting everything she did from the jump and they all
[10:57] assured me that Aubrey would be dealt with.
[10:59] None of them recommended the red flag mediation.
[11:01] That was HR's idea. I was given details of the
[11:04] meeting where Aubrey ranted about me and it was horrible,
[11:07] but apparently Aubrey was asked to leave by her own boss while
[11:10] several other employees told her to stop.
[11:12] So managerially and in the office in general, people were
[11:15] trying to rein her in from many different angles.
[11:17] HR is where the ball dropped and dropped hard.
[11:20] This company just has a poor HR structure and bad entry to mid
[11:23] level HR. When Aubrey's boss referred her
[11:26] to HR regarding her negative behavior, HR took it upon
[11:29] themselves to consider it a mediation situation, which
[11:32] remember at our company can go against your bonus for the year.
[11:35] Despite communication from George, his replacement and
[11:38] Aubrey's boss saying I wasn't in the wrong.
[11:40] When George found out about this, he spoke to the HR
[11:43] generalist manager who said that my absence probably caused a lot
[11:46] of strain and extra work for Aubrey when Aubrey's not even
[11:49] credentialed to do what I do. Management made a point to tell
[11:53] me how baffled and upset they were with H Rs handling of the
[11:55] situation every time something came up.
[11:58] My company mentor was also a huge support during this time
[12:01] until she decided to take another job elsewhere.
[12:03] When my doctor extended my ADA work from home accommodation a
[12:07] second time, HR responded by telling me my attendance was a
[12:10] concern. I emailed their boss's boss, the
[12:13] HR director, and asked for clarification.
[12:16] He said I hadn't come into the office so of course my
[12:18] attendance was a problem. I reiterated I had medical
[12:21] documentation stating that if WFH wasn't available then they
[12:24] could refer to the FMLA documentation my medical team
[12:27] also sent. He replied that medical
[12:29] documentation including both FMLA and ADA reasonable
[12:33] accommodations doesn't hold much weight with the company.
[12:36] That's when I got a lawyer. Aubrey as a problem kind of
[12:39] drifted to the background when HR started their medical
[12:42] documentation doesn't matter campaign.
[12:44] On my lawyer's recommendation, I contacted the HR executive team
[12:48] which is where this whole cursed situation came to light and I
[12:51] did check with my lawyer about emailing this update and they
[12:54] laughed and said I couldn't leave people hanging.
[12:56] After all that. I called the Chief HR Officer
[12:59] which for my company is going over like 5 people's heads but I
[13:02] did it with George's and my new boss's blessings who is the head
[13:05] of HR and asked why my attendance was an issue when I
[13:08] had reasonable ADA documentation.
[13:10] She had no idea what I was talking about so I filled her in
[13:13] on all of it, including the mediation meeting and Aubrey's
[13:16] harassment and the HR director. Her direct report saying medical
[13:19] documentation didn't hold any weight with the company.
[13:22] She was speechless and asked to meet with me and my lawyer as
[13:25] soon as possible. My lawyer hardly had to do
[13:27] anything during the meeting because the CHRO was horrified
[13:30] at everything I told her. I've never actually seen steam
[13:33] come out of someone's ears, but if it was physically possible it
[13:36] would have happened here. My lawyer didn't need to say a
[13:39] word but just nodded and smiled when the CHRO offered an
[13:42] extended paid medical leave so I could handle my recovery and
[13:44] said Aubrey constantly sending me fitness plans would be dealt
[13:47] with swiftly. I didn't hear anything out of
[13:49] Aubrey for a long time, but I did hear through some gossip
[13:52] channels that the HR staff involved in the red flag meeting
[13:55] threatening to write me up or let go.
[13:57] Aubrey wasn't fired because they believed she was misled by HR,
[14:00] so I understand that part even if I don't agree with it.
[14:03] But she was on a tight PIP for a while.
[14:06] Then she showed up at my house. Now we move from banana pants to
[14:09] full on banana ensembles. I'm still on leave and out of
[14:13] the blue, Aubrey showed up at my door on a weekend with two other
[14:16] women in tow and the commenters guessed it.
[14:18] She's in very deep with an MLM or maybe a cult, I can't be sure
[14:22] at this point. Aubrey came over to demonstrate
[14:24] some workout techniques and give me some diet supplement samples
[14:27] and discuss a career opportunity because she was worried about my
[14:30] physical and professional health.
[14:32] She didn't make it past my mother-in-law who has been a
[14:35] godsend right now. My mother-in-law made it clear
[14:37] where Aubrey could stick her demonstration and they left in a
[14:40] hurry. I notified my lawyer and the
[14:42] CHRO and suffice it to say Aubrey is now a full time
[14:46] Wellness coach. I'm happy I went with my gut and
[14:49] got a lawyer because the company has changed so drastically over
[14:52] the last year. With the toxic HR department
[14:54] encouraging behavior like Aubrey's and spreading false
[14:56] information about medical leave and time off, the company is
[14:59] almost unrecognizable. Also, with my boss and mentor
[15:02] both gone, I don't know if I'm going to go back once I'm
[15:05] medically cleared. The company is also undergoing A
[15:08] restructuring right now and my department may end up
[15:10] distributed between other parts of the company or even other
[15:13] parts of the state. I have been looking at jobs and
[15:15] doing some resume drafting for a full time remote position since
[15:18] it feels like it might be a better fit, but Many thanks to
[15:21] the comments section and all the support.
[15:23] Update 2. I got an offer from a local
[15:25] company that's going fully remote with administration and
[15:28] management meeting up once a month.
[15:30] The salary was right, it's 90% remote.
[15:33] It's a good fit so I'm happy with it.
[15:35] My role is HR adjacent as head of payroll.
[15:38] I reported to the COO and was hired by the CEO and COOI.
[15:42] Walked into our first admin meeting and who is sitting
[15:44] across from me but the HR director who told me medical
[15:47] documentation doesn't matter and orchestrated my red flag
[15:49] meeting. Let's call him Bob.
[15:51] Bob is the interim HR director for this company.
[15:54] Bob looked very uncomfortable when he saw me.
[15:57] We went through some employee files, including several who are
[16:00] on maternity leave and two who were injured on a job site.
[16:03] Bob got quieter as we began reviewing medical documentation
[16:06] and approving paid leave. I smiled and looked him in the
[16:09] eye every time I asked. And does Jill have her medical
[16:11] documentation? Great Medical documentation
[16:15] holds a lot of weight. That's important stuff to have.
[16:19] He looked like he wanted to melt into his seat.
[16:21] At one point he tried to argue against someone using their PTO
[16:24] to provide end of life care for a parent when they had ample
[16:27] PTO. I smiled and said you're right,
[16:30] our employee support fund should cover half this time.
[16:33] It's a shame for them to have to lose all their PTO when they're
[16:36] obviously going to need it to heal and grieve over the next
[16:38] few months. Why don't you get me the
[16:40] paperwork for the support fund this afternoon that's so
[16:43] generous. Everyone was happy and in
[16:45] agreement. He looked like he swallowed a
[16:47] lemon but everyone was like OMG Bob how thoughtful.
[16:50] He had to eat it so bad and got me the documentation an hour
[16:53] later. Bob can suck it.
[16:55] Bob is also only a contractor so he'll be moving on soon anyway.
[16:59] Medically I'm doing better and very happy to move on from where
[17:02] I was. Aubrey's been full on radio
[17:04] silence which is perfect for me. Thanks AAM team and commenters.
[17:09] Thank you for watching.

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