# Parents Sided With My Cheating Ex, Denied Me Shelter After Divorce. Now...

An episode of [Reddit Stories](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1830891511), 9 Jun 2025, 16 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO5761726523.mp3

Parents Sided With My Cheating Ex, Denied Me Shelter After Divorce. Now...

## Transcript

[0:00] Parents sided with my cheating ex, denied me shelter after
[0:03] divorce. Now, five years later, they want
[0:06] back in after hearing about my engagement after my divorce five
[0:10] years ago, my parents lost relations with me.
[0:13] Nick cheated on me with his receptionist.
[0:15] I discovered it when browsing his phone.
[0:17] My suspicions were long standing, so I checked his
[0:20] texts. One day I realized our marriage
[0:22] was finished. Then I struggled because Nick
[0:24] and I were together over a decade before we married.
[0:27] We were childhood sweethearts because his parents were friends
[0:30] of mine. We met and started dating that
[0:32] way after high school. We had an on and off
[0:35] relationship, but at 22 our parents pressured us to marry,
[0:39] so we did. We often fought after marriage.
[0:42] He cheated even though I never considered it.
[0:44] I left our house that day after learning about his affair
[0:47] because I was hurt. My initial thought was to visit
[0:49] my parents. I assume Nick has already spoken
[0:52] to them. He probably knew I'd go there
[0:54] and wanted to stop me. Amazingly, my parents refused to
[0:58] let me in after he asked. Standing outside their door, I
[1:01] begged to remain for a few days until I found a place.
[1:04] They informed me they wouldn't consider this because Nick was
[1:07] still my husband and we could figure things out.
[1:09] Even after I told them Nick cheated on me, they didn't seem
[1:12] to mind. They said they knew about his
[1:14] adultery because Nick confessed when he called.
[1:17] My folks say one person cannot break a marriage.
[1:20] Thus, they indirectly blamed me for everything.
[1:22] I wasn't surprised since that's always been their attitude
[1:25] toward me. Why I expected their assistance
[1:27] back then is beyond me. I repeatedly told my parents
[1:31] about my marriage issues before Nick's infidelity.
[1:34] I told them I didn't want to stay with him.
[1:36] However, they constantly told me I was too ambitious and didn't
[1:39] give my marriage enough time. Hence, it failed.
[1:41] When I tried to stay with them that day, they accused me of
[1:44] being more focused on work than my marriage.
[1:47] I was fed up when they blamed me, I left immediately.
[1:50] My friends are nice, so I visited one to tell her about my
[1:53] divorce. Even though I wasn't ready, she
[1:56] graciously hosted me for two weeks.
[1:58] I met with a lawyer, filed for divorce, and looked for an
[2:01] apartment. Over those weeks, my pals were
[2:03] the only ones who supported me emotionally.
[2:05] Back then, my parents never spoke to me, except to tell me
[2:08] how bad I was for leaving my unfaithful spouse.
[2:11] Nick kept contacting me, insisting we could still work
[2:14] and that marriage counseling would help us.
[2:16] He continued apologizing as if it would help.
[2:19] Naturally, my parents supported him and urged me to forgive him
[2:23] once I cut them out of my life. They ceased trying to contact
[2:26] me. After the divorce, I had no
[2:28] touch with them. I haven't spoken to my parents
[2:31] since and I don't regret it. When we meet at family function
[2:34] sponsored by other relatives, we ignore each other.
[2:38] I'm OK with this because they don't regret what they did to
[2:40] me. My partner Charlie and I are
[2:42] engaged after five years. My three years with him have
[2:45] been some of my best. His restaurant was where we met.
[2:49] I was out with pals when he approached.
[2:51] After a while, I discovered he owned the restaurant.
[2:54] After a few dates, we grew serious.
[2:57] Within weeks, I discovered he owned that restaurant and had a
[2:59] comparable business history. Charlie grew up interested in
[3:02] all things cooking because his father owns one of the state's
[3:05] largest bakery chains. This led to his restaurant
[3:08] launching. Though I was impressed, I didn't
[3:10] care because I'm a working woman and plan to work after marriage.
[3:14] Unlike my parents, I've never wanted his money.
[3:17] After learning about Charlie, they immediately tried to
[3:19] reconnect with me. It happened last week, only days
[3:22] after I announced my engagement on social media.
[3:25] I imagine a relative told my parents I was engaged.
[3:28] They must have researched Charlie and his family.
[3:31] Three days after my announcement, they emailed me.
[3:34] They congratulated me on my engagement and apologized for
[3:37] their past behavior. In their e-mail, they apologized
[3:40] for not contacting me in recent years and wanted to attend my
[3:43] wedding. They avoided talking about
[3:45] Charlie or his family, which was sensible, but I'm not stupid
[3:48] enough to fall for it. It was strange that they
[3:51] contacted me after my engagement, even though they
[3:53] felt awful and wanted to contact me earlier.
[3:55] I declined to respond. When they wanted back in my
[3:58] life, they reached out again, and they did.
[4:01] They revealed themselves in the second e-mail.
[4:04] They told me they had read about Charlie and his family and like
[4:06] my choice. It made me think they assumed I
[4:09] was dating Charlie for a reason, which was untrue.
[4:12] It worsened. They said they reached out
[4:14] because of Charlie and his family.
[4:15] In that e-mail, they stated they were proud of my prestigious
[4:18] lineage. The e-mail was arrogant and I
[4:21] was irritated that they were primarily interested in the fact
[4:23] that I had secured a place in a wealthy family through marriage.
[4:27] That email's purpose is unknown. They probably didn't understand
[4:30] It made matters worse. I blocked them after reading.
[4:33] A few days of tranquility ended last night.
[4:36] I've lived in Charlie's apartment for a year.
[4:39] Few family members know where I live, and only a few close
[4:42] acquaintances and relatives have visited.
[4:44] They could not have told my parents.
[4:46] I guess my folks found out. When asked, they didn't say how
[4:50] our residence was visited last night.
[4:52] Charlie and I were astonished to find them outside.
[4:55] Charlie understands my parents past divorce and reactions and
[4:59] he doesn't like it. The door was opened by him.
[5:02] He called me over to talk to my parents when he spotted them.
[5:05] Thankfully, Charlie stayed with me knowing I was struggling.
[5:08] He held my hand throughout my conversation with my parents.
[5:12] My parents apologized, stating they didn't want to seem more
[5:15] interested in Charlie and his family than my forgiveness.
[5:18] They said they wanted to contact me several times over the last
[5:20] few years, but didn't because they knew I'd be furious with
[5:23] them for their earlier behavior. Those were invalid reasons.
[5:26] I told them they treated my divorce insensitively.
[5:30] I wouldn't have forgiven them if they'd reached out before, and I
[5:32] wouldn't forgive them now. After five years of divorce, I
[5:35] no longer need them. I was harsh and told them to
[5:38] leave. I don't know how they obtained
[5:40] my address, but I warned them I'd contact the police if they
[5:43] returned. My dad yelled at me as I turned
[5:45] to close the door. He called me egoistic and cocky,
[5:49] stating I couldn't treat them like way since I was marrying
[5:51] into a rich family. I was angered by that
[5:54] unwarranted and incorrect statement.
[5:56] This wasn't my behavior because I was marrying into his family.
[5:59] No sane person would have said it.
[6:01] I returned it to dad. I said it wasn't about me
[6:04] marrying into a rich family, but their behavior.
[6:07] Despite five years to change, they were still unpleasant and I
[6:10] avoided them. I knew shutting them out of my
[6:13] life was right, and I never intended to forgive them.
[6:16] After I said that, they addressed Charlie instead of me.
[6:19] They warned him about my attitude problem because it
[6:21] ended my last marriage. They made it clear that Nick had
[6:24] cheated on me with the workplace receptionist he'd known for
[6:27] months while I was still engaged.
[6:29] They boasted that Nick and this woman were happily married with
[6:31] a child. They said I could never have a
[6:34] happy family since I was always showing off my superiority.
[6:37] I guess I had done this before by focusing too much on work
[6:40] instead of my marriage, and now I was acting superior because
[6:43] Charlie was rich. My superiority complex lost me
[6:47] my first marriage and would cost me my second.
[6:49] They said thanks to my fiance. Charlie ignored their warnings
[6:52] about me. Charlie refused dating advice
[6:55] from folks like my parents because I was marrying him and
[6:58] he was rich. He stated I could brag about it.
[7:01] He said that whether I had an attitude problem or not was his
[7:03] concern and they didn't need to worry about him because we
[7:06] weren't bothered about them. The last thing Charlie said left
[7:09] me stunned. He informed my parents that he
[7:11] was delighted my ex had found love with the lady he had an
[7:14] affair with and that it was indicative that they still
[7:16] supported Nick instead of me after five years to reflect on
[7:19] their behavior. He said that it didn't matter
[7:21] because they weren't close to our net worth.
[7:24] He closed the door as they panicked outside.
[7:26] My parents left eventually. I didn't believe it would go
[7:29] farther, but my paternal grandparents called this
[7:32] morning. They lectured me about Charlie
[7:34] and my mistreatment of my parents.
[7:36] Since my grandparents and I have been friendly, it was
[7:39] surprising. Despite being in touch with my
[7:41] parents for five years, they have always been neutral about
[7:44] this subject. They instantly thought I should
[7:46] apologize to my parents, especially after Charlie told
[7:49] them about our net wealth. They claimed that my parents had
[7:52] made mistakes, but they had always tried to be good to me.
[7:55] Maybe, but my connection with my parents has always been tense
[7:58] and complicated. Even from childhood.
[8:01] I cannot dispute that they have always supported me and tried to
[8:03] make my life comfortable. My grandparents emphasized that
[8:07] I should be grateful to my parents.
[8:09] They cautioned me not to gloat about my wealth, especially
[8:11] since it's not mine. My in laws are rich.
[8:14] They say I can't brag because I'm still in my parents income
[8:17] category. I told my grandparents that
[8:20] Charlie had responded that way to my parents, not me.
[8:23] My grandparents ignored my refusal to talk to them.
[8:26] They stated it didn't matter who spoke as long as I permitted it,
[8:28] which humiliated my parents. They said I should have stood up
[8:32] for my parents even if I didn't want to forgive them.
[8:35] I told my grandparents that my parents had spoken nasty things
[8:38] about me, but they replied it didn't matter.
[8:40] Their sole concern was my behavior.
[8:42] Therefore, they claim they will talk to my parents separately
[8:45] about their errors. I got frustrated since the
[8:47] conversation went in circles and they didn't comprehend me.
[8:50] They then revealed that a man who disrespected my family would
[8:53] never appreciate me. Then they hung up.
[8:56] Although I love Charlie and don't think he did anything
[8:59] wrong, my grandparents reaction has made me wonder about my
[9:02] handling of the incident. Am I responsible for letting my
[9:05] affluent fiance trash my estranged parents substandard
[9:08] finances? Update 1.
[9:10] Hello everybody, I and Charlie appreciate your support and
[9:13] remarks. We feel no obligation to my
[9:16] family. Not even an apology after
[9:18] considering everything they kept saying I was too smug and
[9:21] arrogant because I married into an affluent family.
[9:24] Charlie and I will act as they accuse us.
[9:26] After talking to friends and reading the comments, I don't
[9:29] think I or my fiance did anything wrong.
[9:31] No need for guilt. Charlie explicitly stated that
[9:34] he will not apologize to anyone who has disrespected me, not
[9:37] once, but repeatedly. Even their last visit to our
[9:40] residence was insulting. They persisted after I told them
[9:44] I didn't want to discuss or forgive them and tried to make
[9:46] me appear awful for rejecting their nonsense.
[9:49] Charlie said he knew my parents were bad based on what I told
[9:51] him before. After meeting them he said they
[9:54] were terrible and suggested I never forgive or speak to them.
[9:57] Totally agree with him. Charlie made a good point when I
[10:00] told him my grandparents words. He told me my grandparents had
[10:04] avoided the turmoil because it was convenient.
[10:06] When my parents were hurt, they jumped in.
[10:09] They were OK as long as I hurt. After their darling son was
[10:12] offended, they pursued me. Charlie advised me to examine
[10:16] this before acting on their advice.
[10:18] I considered it. He made a valid point when I
[10:21] tried to talk to my grandparents about my relationship with my
[10:24] parents for five years. They said I needed to figure it
[10:26] out alone and didn't want to become involved.
[10:29] I stopped venting to them since I knew they wouldn't listen.
[10:32] Looking back, their neutrality seemed to be a strategy to keep
[10:35] diplomatic and on good terms with us.
[10:37] Since they clearly prioritize my father over me, I believe they
[10:40] don't plan on being diplomatic anymore.
[10:43] I was dumb to expect other behavior.
[10:45] Anyway, I'm delighted Charlie's here.
[10:47] He appears angrier than me about this, which I find endearing.
[10:51] It shows his love for me. Update 2.
[10:55] Hello everybody, My grandparents called me a week ago to say I
[10:59] was incorrect in how I handled my parents and wanted to
[11:01] apologize since I didn't react. Last week they contacted me
[11:05] again. Since I blocked my parents and
[11:07] grandparents. They created a new e-mail
[11:09] account and wrote me an e-mail. My handling of the problem
[11:13] disappointed them. They were surprised that I had
[11:15] blocked them because they had always tried their best to be on
[11:18] my side during the past five years.
[11:20] However, they agreed that staying diplomatic was a mistake
[11:23] and that they should have informed me that my parents were
[11:25] right about everything and that I had an attitude problem to
[11:28] fix. Their argument was repeating my
[11:30] parents unsubstantiated assertions.
[11:32] They basically repeated my parents criticism since they
[11:35] couldn't find a rationale. Naturally they made it personal
[11:38] for no reason, even though they had always said my parents and I
[11:42] had valid but different perspectives and couldn't tell
[11:44] who was right or wrong. That e-mail was annoying.
[11:47] After seeing it, Charlie said he was glad we hadn't apologized or
[11:51] contacted them because they didn't deserve it.
[11:53] He claimed they were greedy and that my family had an attitude
[11:55] problem, not me. I didn't reply to that e-mail
[11:59] and won't. I don't want to dispute or prove
[12:01] my point. They've already made me the
[12:03] villain, so they'll never trust me.
[12:05] They'll keep making excuses to blame me.
[12:08] It probably worries them that I'm marrying Charlie, getting
[12:10] affluent and cutting them out of my life so they can't benefit
[12:13] from my marriage. Ironic because Charlie and I
[12:16] believe that if they wanted forgiveness, they should have
[12:19] been nicer and boosted our egos. Bitterness and resentment have
[12:22] made things worse for them without them realizing it.
[12:25] Maybe they do. They're indifferent no matter
[12:28] what. They're out of my life. 3rd
[12:30] update. My last update was two months
[12:33] ago because I wasn't concerned anymore.
[12:36] I forgot about my parents and grandparents problems.
[12:39] I became busy organizing my wedding and doing other things.
[12:42] After they didn't contact me again, my parents returned to my
[12:45] place. Three days ago.
[12:47] Charlie was away. This time when I saw them
[12:49] outside, I didn't open the door. I told them through the door
[12:53] that I didn't want to argue again.
[12:55] I told them to leave or I would call the police, which would be
[12:57] very bad for them. Despite my concerns, my parents
[13:01] stayed. My dad said he didn't expect me
[13:03] to forgive or accept them back. He wanted to apologize for how
[13:07] he and my mom acted last time. He added that after much
[13:10] consideration, they recognized they had made things worse by
[13:13] refusing to accept that I wasn't ready to forgive them.
[13:16] Now they wanted me to know they were sorry for their repeated
[13:18] failures and would apologize until I forgave them.
[13:21] My mother said they would wait the rest of their life for my
[13:23] forgiveness. That was a big statement.
[13:26] I felt forced to open the door. I told them I didn't know what
[13:29] to say or how to feel. All I knew was that I wasn't
[13:32] ready to deal with them. I calmly told them they didn't
[13:35] need to apologize anymore. I needed some space from them.
[13:39] In a few years, I might contact them.
[13:41] For now, I desire solitude. I'm not sure if I'll ever
[13:45] contact them, but I said that to lighten the situation.
[13:48] It improved their mood, even if it took two years.
[13:51] My mother stated she would like to hear from me.
[13:53] She hoped I'd forgive them one day.
[13:56] She cried and stated that she and my father had always been
[13:58] too arrogant and proud to accept they weren't the finest parents,
[14:01] especially after my divorce. They said they were misled into
[14:05] thinking I had an attitude problem.
[14:07] Since then they'd been confused about me, sometimes thinking I
[14:10] was right and sometimes Nick was right.
[14:13] This is why they felt their attitude toward me was
[14:15] constantly inconsistent and confusing.
[14:17] Personally, I don't accept that excuse.
[14:20] God, I'm their daughter. My personality should be well
[14:23] known. They didn't spend much time with
[14:25] me as kids or teens. Not knowing me well is an
[14:28] unexpected. That's their fault, not mine.
[14:31] I didn't want to start a major ordeal so I just informed them
[14:34] what occurred and couldn't be altered.
[14:36] I added that if they wanted me to forgive them, they should
[14:38] stay away from me and let me heal.
[14:40] They departed quietly without saying anything.
[14:43] When Charlie returned home, I informed him how I handled the
[14:46] matter and what my parents and I discussed during their visit.
[14:49] He said the scenario may have been worse but was thankful it
[14:52] wasn't. I'm trying not to think about my
[14:54] parents because I don't know how to feel.
[14:56] My wedding planning is my priority and I hope it goes
[14:59] well. 4th update Hey, I got married last week and had a
[15:03] blast. Naturally, my immediate family
[15:05] did not attend since they were not invited.
[15:08] I invited my maternal grandparents but they reside out
[15:11] of state and my grandpa is sick as a result.
[15:14] Few family members attended the wedding but I didn't mind.
[15:17] Charlie was with me and his family welcomed me as one of
[15:20] their own. That's really appreciated.
[15:22] My parents called me from a burner phone two days after the
[15:25] wedding. They said my cousins told them
[15:27] about my wedding even though I didn't want them at the wedding.
[15:30] They claimed they were thrilled for me and wished me joy in my
[15:33] new life. I thanked them and said nothing
[15:35] else. Many of you may say I shouldn't
[15:38] have hosted them during their last visit.
[15:40] Some may say I should have called the police, but that
[15:42] would have simply increased anger and hatred causing more
[15:45] drama. I like this technique better.
[15:48] I don't think I'll ever be close to my parents, but we don't
[15:50] fight. Neutrality seems ideal for
[15:53] everyone. Thank you for watching.
[15:55] If you haven't subscribed yet, please do so and hit the
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[16:00] life stories happening around you.

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