# 9 Things I Had to Cut Out to Actually Grow Closer to God

An episode of [AfterMass](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1823710125), 28 Apr 2026, 23 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO8286704755.mp3

these are real things i stopped doing as i got more serious about my relationship with God, from what i watch and listen to to how i speak and who i open up to. i'm hoping you'll find this helpful and leave below anything you have also noticed has changed in your life during your walk with God!

## Transcript

[0:00] Hi friends. Today I'm going to talk about
[0:01] the 10 things that I stopped doing the closer that I got to
[0:04] God or the deeper that I got into my faith.
[0:06] But before I do, I just want to give a quick shout out to Lisa
[0:10] and Marie and Riley. So last weekend I went to the
[0:15] young adult retreat in Charlotte, NC.
[0:17] It's called the Vigilant Retreat.
[0:18] Also shout out to Katie for inviting me.
[0:20] I was one of the speakers there and on the totem pole of speaker
[0:24] talent and what they kind of had to offer.
[0:27] I was definitely the very last one, but I'm so humbled and
[0:30] grateful that they even asked me to be a part of this.
[0:32] It was a wonderful weekend. We went to mass every day.
[0:35] We received the sacrament of reconciliation.
[0:38] We listened to amazing speakers. I also gave a speech.
[0:41] But yeah, throughout that weekend, I met Riley and Marie,
[0:44] and they're a pair of sisters. They were just amazing and so
[0:48] shout out to them. We Facetimed their mom, Lisa,
[0:51] who loves the content that I put out and watches it regularly.
[0:55] So hi, Lisa, come to Florida, visit me, let's hang out.
[0:59] And I just want to say that hopefully one day I get to meet
[1:01] as many of you as possible, whether it's different events or
[1:04] just, you know, I like to call it a God wink if we just happen
[1:07] to be at the same place at the same time, just, you know, I'm
[1:10] just very blessed to be able to put content out and be able to
[1:13] connect with so many of you. So anyways, with that said,
[1:16] let's get into the 10 things that I stopped doing.
[1:19] So the first thing that I stopped doing is that I no
[1:21] longer open up to just anyone about my personal life or my
[1:25] marriage. So one of the first things that
[1:26] really changed my life as I got more serious about my
[1:28] relationship with God was how intentional I became with who I
[1:32] speak to about my personal life and my marriage.
[1:34] And this isn't just talking about the regular things I've
[1:37] mentioned on here, lots of different things.
[1:39] I'm divorced 1st, I'm remarried, I got an enrollment, I got
[1:42] pregnant before I got married to my now husband.
[1:44] I have tattoos, I used to party, I used to not dress modestly
[1:47] like those things. They're just a part of my story
[1:49] and I'm open about those things. But what I realized over time is
[1:53] that the more open I was with the wrong people, the easier it
[1:57] became to kind of fall into a pattern that I didn't even
[1:59] really recognize at first. Where what started as venting or
[2:03] trying to process something slowly turned into speaking in a
[2:06] way about people or situations that was not rooted in and
[2:10] charity. And I had to be very honest with
[2:13] myself because these conversations were not helping
[2:15] me grow. Some of them were just
[2:17] reinforcing bad patterns and bad behaviors that I had of
[2:21] frustration or feeding negativity or keeping me in a
[2:24] cycle of almost like replaying situations over and over instead
[2:28] of bringing them to God first. And that shift that occurred for
[2:33] me didn't come from a place of trying to be secretive or closed
[2:36] off, because I don't believe that I am, but more so it came
[2:40] from kind of understanding that access to my life has to be
[2:43] discerned because words, they're not just this like, it doesn't
[2:48] matter. They're just words.
[2:49] Words really shape how we see people and how we carry our
[2:53] ourselves into situations and then furthermore, how we respond
[2:58] the next time that we are with whatever person we might be
[3:02] venting about, if that makes sense.
[3:04] And Scripture is very clear in Proverbs, it says that whoever
[3:07] guards his mouth preserves his life, which means that there's
[3:10] actually something at stake in how and where you speak.
[3:14] And I also had to take that seriously.
[3:16] And the Church teaches about speech and clarity because the
[3:19] Catechism of the Catholic Church explains that we are bound to
[3:23] avoid detraction and rash judgment, meaning that speaking
[3:27] unnecessarily about the fault of others or forming conclusions
[3:31] without full knowledge that can lead to sin.
[3:35] So you kind of start to realize how easy it is to fall into that
[3:37] without intending to, because that was never my intention.
[3:40] I've never set out to say, oh, I want to talk badly about so and
[3:43] so, or I want to vent about this experience.
[3:46] So people are on my side, you know, especially in casual
[3:48] conversations when you're just trying to be understood.
[3:52] But now I'm just very aware of who I go to when I need to talk
[3:56] through something, whether that's my husband or a trusted
[3:59] friend who lives their faith seriously or even instead
[4:03] hopefully. This is what I'm always trying
[4:05] to do. First is bringing it directly
[4:07] into prayer because I would rather protect the way that I
[4:09] speak and the way that I think about people rather than risk
[4:13] slowly forming or even maintaining old habits that pull
[4:16] me away from the kind of charity that God is actually calling me
[4:19] to live. The second thing is that I no
[4:21] longer sit in conversations where gossip is normal.
[4:24] So that's another thing that kind of goes hand in hand with
[4:26] one. But even when I was in
[4:27] conversations where gossip was subtle or casual, or even when
[4:31] it was framed as concern or career or career, why am I
[4:35] having trouble speaking where it was framed as concern or
[4:39] curiosity? That's huge.
[4:41] I kind of started to notice how quickly a conversation can shift
[4:45] from something that's totally just kind of Switzerland.
[4:48] It's very not one way or the other, just neutral, just
[4:51] getting to know friends and family or just talking about
[4:53] things, turning into talking about somebody who isn't there.
[4:57] And once that line is crossed, it can be very easy to just keep
[5:01] going and to keep piling on and adding opinions and filling in
[5:04] the gaps and then agreeing with things that you don't actually
[5:08] know to be true. And again, this takes real
[5:11] honesty with yourself. But I was just sitting there and
[5:14] listening without saying anything, and I thought that
[5:15] that was good enough. But that's still kind of shapes
[5:19] how you see that person. And it can affect how you carry
[5:22] yourself when you see them later.
[5:23] And it also slowly desensitizes you to something that Scripture
[5:28] takes seriously because again, in Proverbs, it says that death
[5:31] and life are in the power of the tongue, which means that the way
[5:34] that we speak and the conversations that we
[5:35] participate in, those aren't just small things just because
[5:39] we think that they're small things.
[5:41] The Catholic Church addresses this directly when it talks
[5:43] about gossip and detraction, explaining that revealing
[5:46] someone's faults without a valid reason damages their reputation
[5:50] and goes against justice and charity.
[5:53] And once I just had to be honest with myself.
[5:56] I was participating in these things.
[5:59] It is very uncomfortable to stay in those environments because
[6:03] now you know, now you've really looked at yourself in the
[6:06] mirror, face the music and recognize that I am doing these
[6:09] things. Even if I'm silent, I'm still
[6:11] contributing in some way. So that means removing myself
[6:14] from the conversations or actively changing the subject or
[6:17] walking away because I would rather be intentional about the
[6:20] words that I allow around me. Then slowly become somebody who
[6:23] treats other people's lives as something to just discuss
[6:27] casually, especially when I'm not able to or I'm equipped to
[6:31] carry out the full truth of who that person is.
[6:34] Who am I to really judge like that?
[6:37] I'm not. I'm nobody.
[6:39] I shouldn't be judging like that.
[6:40] So that's the second thing. The third thing is that I don't
[6:43] take selfies. That probably sounds either
[6:46] very, very dramatic or very non important depending on the kind
[6:50] of person that you are. But I really think that because
[6:55] I used to take a lot of selfies, not in a provocative way, I was
[7:00] never like that. Definitely immodest, definitely
[7:03] for validation and attention, but not in like an overtly
[7:07] sexual way. Just kind of showing off my
[7:09] body. Even if I was covered up.
[7:14] That was very normalized. I'm 37.
[7:16] So growing up, you were always posting selfies.
[7:20] It was, that's what Instagram was kind of made for.
[7:23] And I fell into that where if I needed, if I felt pretty, I
[7:27] needed other people to know that I was pretty.
[7:31] It, it's weird, you know, going to my phone just to check how I
[7:35] looked to fix something, to get the right angle, you know, when
[7:40] I'm taking pictures to feel a certain way about myself.
[7:42] And I didn't realize how often I was doing it until I really
[7:46] reverted back to my faith and it felt silly and weird.
[7:48] Why am I taking pictures of myself?
[7:51] Like, it, there's nothing inherently wrong with taking
[7:54] pictures of yourself, but then why am I uploading them for the
[7:56] world to see? Like what?
[7:57] What's my purpose here? I post pictures now of me and my
[8:01] husband if we go out somewhere or me and my family, my
[8:04] children, whatever. If I'm going to.
[8:07] My sister got married. I'm pretty sure I posted a
[8:09] picture when I was at her wedding.
[8:11] Just, you know, these big moments in life that I want to
[8:13] share with the people that I connected with on social media.
[8:17] But just taking videos and selfies of just myself, my
[8:21] makeup, just looking at myself. I was just feeding my own need
[8:27] for validation and attention, even if I wasn't, hey, I'm going
[8:30] to post this for validation, but that's exactly why I was doing
[8:33] it. Oh, I want people to know that
[8:35] oh, I look cute today. Just like yuck ick.
[8:38] I give myself the ick. So I started to shy away from
[8:42] that actually probably before I reverted back.
[8:44] And now it's just, it's not something that I would ever do
[8:48] if I look cute or if I'm wearing something cute that I want to
[8:51] show off, I send it to my husband.
[8:53] I send it to my girlfriends. Like look at this sweatshirt I
[8:56] got, look at this cute dress. Look at, Oh my gosh, I did such
[8:58] a great job on my makeup, whatever it is.
[9:00] I'm not even into the makeup like that, but whatever it is,
[9:04] that's kind of how I approach it now.
[9:06] And it's this like subtle need to check and adjust and be in
[9:10] the right angle with the right lighting and have people know it
[9:13] too. It feels very vain to me.
[9:16] And I'm not saying that that's the reason why anybody does it,
[9:19] but at some point you have to ask yourself, why am I posting
[9:21] these selfies? What's the point of this?
[9:23] Am I posting this to share with people that I love and care
[9:27] about? Or am I posting it because I'm
[9:30] looking for some reaction? I'm looking for something back
[9:33] from it. Attention is constantly being
[9:36] pulled back to yourself. I would say that the real
[9:38] question is that if you're posting these things and knowing
[9:41] that the goal is to pull attention back to yourself, then
[9:44] maybe that's something that you need to bring to prayer and
[9:47] reevaluate. Because I'm not saying that
[9:48] taking a photo is wrong or that you can never take a picture
[9:50] again. That's literally the last thing
[9:52] that I'm trying to make a point out of here, but I just realized
[9:56] that I didn't want to live in a cycle where I was constantly
[9:58] checking myself and thinking about how I looked and
[10:00] constantly adjusting things that didn't need to be adjusted, like
[10:03] lighting an angle and this and that.
[10:05] That kind of focus slowly pulls you inward in a way that I just
[10:10] don't think is very healthy. So that's my third one.
[10:14] Number four is I no longer let my emotions control how I
[10:17] respond, especially in my marriage.
[10:18] So this is something that sounds really simple and I don't
[10:22] succeed at this all the time. Actually, my husband would argue
[10:25] that I fail more than I succeed, but I'm conscious of this.
[10:29] So this is something that I pray about and that I try and not do.
[10:32] So how I feel in the moment does not dictate my reaction.
[10:37] That's my goal. Because there are times where
[10:40] especially in the past where I would respond very quickly and I
[10:42] would say something sharp. I would say that my vice, my
[10:46] sin, my like habitual thing that I constantly deal with is
[10:52] speaking out of anger maybe, or I just I have a sharp tongue is
[10:59] what I what I like to describe it as.
[11:01] And so be more mindful and intentional and thinking about
[11:04] what I'm going to say before I say it.
[11:06] That has really become a lot easier over time.
[11:09] And you know, again, my husband might say that I'm still a work
[11:14] in progress and not that I'm like saying things to him that I
[11:18] have to then take to confession, but just reacting in like a
[11:21] quick way, like, oh, you know, whatever is what I try to work
[11:28] on and prey on. So overtime, I really had to
[11:31] face that reality that reacting that way was never producing
[11:35] anything good. It was never bringing me any
[11:38] clarity. It wasn't building anything,
[11:40] whether it was my reaction to a situation that happened at work
[11:44] or with friends or with my husband or my family or whatever
[11:47] it was. It wasn't reflecting the kind of
[11:50] self-control that the spiritual life actually requires and that
[11:53] I felt like I was doing a great job of kind of nurturing with in
[11:57] my spiritual life. And then when I was out of
[11:59] prayer or out of, you know, the church or out of whatever it
[12:04] was, when I wasn't intentionally attempting to be mindful of my
[12:10] words. If I was just out and about in
[12:13] the middle of a random Saturday with my family, the kids did
[12:16] something. I was quick to, you know, and
[12:19] react emotionally instead of just taking a taking a step back
[12:24] and said I was really kind of justifying it based on how I
[12:27] felt. I was justifying my reaction to
[12:30] my emotions. Emotions are not reliable,
[12:32] especially my emotions are not reliable.
[12:36] So when you think about marriage, I never wanted to
[12:39] create patterns that are hard to break.
[12:42] And I felt that I was just reinforcing the the patterns
[12:47] within me that I wanted to break away from and that I wanted to
[12:50] change. And so I think praying for that
[12:53] kind of virtue of patience, slow to speak, realizing that my
[12:58] words have so much meaning and that my reactions have so much
[13:01] meaning. I don't want my children to see
[13:03] me kind of snap. And again, I feel like I'm
[13:06] painting a picture of this. I'm like this very angry person.
[13:09] I'm not, but I get frustrated very easily sometimes.
[13:13] And honestly, the way that I speak about myself, the way that
[13:17] I react to myself is one of that's I think where I'm the
[13:21] hardest. So not speaking to myself like
[13:24] that, not reacting to things that, you know, that maybe I'm
[13:27] doing, or I'm thinking very quick to kind of emotionally
[13:32] beat myself over the head, if that makes sense.
[13:34] It just requires a level of restraint that to me doesn't
[13:38] come naturally, but it does come if you it just has to be
[13:43] practiced. So the Catechism talks about the
[13:46] virtue of temperance and self mastery, explaining that we're
[13:50] called to govern our passions rather than be governed by them.
[13:54] And that's how I felt like I lived for a long time.
[13:56] So that can shift how you handle conflict and how you react,
[14:00] because you're not reacting immediately.
[14:02] You begin to pause the process to bring it to God before
[14:06] responding. And that doesn't mean that you
[14:08] ignore the emotions that you are feeling, but you don't let your
[14:11] emotions dictate your behavior. So that's what I've been working
[14:14] on. I think that I've made really
[14:16] good progress and I've noticed that these things come easier
[14:19] when I am more intentional about my spiritual life.
[14:22] So when I'm praying the rosary, that doesn't mean I'm in
[14:24] consolation or desolation, that I have to feel good in order to
[14:27] exhibit these behaviors of prudence and temperance and self
[14:30] mastery. I'm not saying that, but I'm
[14:32] saying when you force your yourself to do the things to
[14:35] please God that you know he wants you to do, such as
[14:38] spending time with him, praying, connecting with him, reading the
[14:42] word, all of these things, even if you don't feel like doing
[14:44] those things. These are the fruits of that is
[14:47] that you do have this kind of peace that comes over you again,
[14:51] even if you're not in like a good consolation state of your
[14:54] spiritual life. That's just been my experience
[14:57] #5 is I no longer watch certain shows that I used to love.
[15:01] This one was really difficult for me because I'm not going to
[15:04] sit here and pretend like I didn't enjoy reality TV or those
[15:09] types of shows and I just stopped overnight.
[15:11] Like I stopped watching them overnight because that's not
[15:14] true. I used to watch things.
[15:15] These are like my top, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Gossip Girl,
[15:18] Vampire Diaries. Very weird and immature when I
[15:21] say them out loud, but I was, I really liked them.
[15:23] I enjoyed them. I was invested in them.
[15:25] And even now if I watch them, I'd I could probably still enjoy
[15:28] them. But again, being honest with
[15:30] myself about what I was constantly exposing my mind to
[15:34] over and over and over again. What is that doing to me over
[15:36] time? Because when you consistently
[15:38] take in content that normalizes certain behaviors, scandal, It's
[15:43] in the name. Hello.
[15:43] It's scandalous. It's, you know, the
[15:45] relationships of having affairs, of having sex, of all of these
[15:49] things, drug, murder, all. I don't even know what I could
[15:52] say on YouTube. But those things don't just stay
[15:54] on the screen. They kind of start to shape what
[15:57] feels normal to you and what you tolerate.
[16:00] And social media already does that with us with all of this
[16:03] awful stuff. You're scrolling and it's
[16:05] somebody died. You're scrolling somebody.
[16:09] I don't know, I don't know what I can say on here, but you know,
[16:11] they attempted to do something and, you know, a teacher does
[16:15] this with a student and then this person's doing that and
[16:18] it's like, wow, you're hit from all over.
[16:20] And it's like, oh, I guess this is just normal.
[16:22] Like this is just how it is. Like the world is crazy.
[16:24] But it's like, no, no, no, like that isn't normal.
[16:27] We should never stop putting weight behind those things just
[16:29] because they happen often. And how you view things like
[16:32] love and commitment, morality. Like I realized that I couldn't
[16:37] keep saying that I wanted to grow in holiness while filling
[16:39] my mind with content that told me in different directions.
[16:43] So that conviction didn't come from like a place of fear or
[16:47] trying to be extreme. I know it can sound extreme, but
[16:49] it came from paying attention to the fruit to what was actually
[16:52] being formed in me. So over time, that's what's
[16:55] really helped me kind of keep those things afar because I have
[16:58] that feeling now where I know this doesn't glorify God,
[17:01] therefore I don't want any part of it.
[17:03] Part of me still like, oh, I would be, I used to love Grey's
[17:06] Anatomy and Meredith and this and that and all these things,
[17:09] but now that desire is so, so small I can barely detect it.
[17:15] And that's just what happened to me over time.
[17:18] The next one is that I no longer listen to regular secular music.
[17:21] So what I mean by that is what's trending.
[17:23] The Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter, that to me is so
[17:27] sexualized and it's targeted and marketed for teenage girls,
[17:30] which really stresses me out as a mom of a 5 year old daughter.
[17:35] I love just music in general. I am very I love music.
[17:42] I could. Music to me speaks to my
[17:45] emotions. It can put me in a place.
[17:46] To me, it's storytelling, it's art.
[17:48] I love it, but I will not go into.
[17:52] I will not enjoy the secular music, the rap, the hip hop of
[17:56] today, none of that stuff. The Sabrina Carpenter is the
[17:59] Taylor Swift. Zara Zara Larsson is another
[18:03] one. She recently, I don't even know
[18:04] how I was fed this information because I don't follow any of
[18:07] her stuff. But she recently came out and
[18:08] she was making comments. I'll try and find the screenshot
[18:10] and I'll put it up here. But somebody made a comment to
[18:13] her on her TikTok that was like, your show was amazing.
[18:15] You killed it. And then I was able to go get an
[18:18] abortion or something like that. And this artist, Zara,
[18:21] responded, and she was like, oh, I killed it on stage and you
[18:23] killed did after Ha ha, ha, hee, hee, hee.
[18:26] I'm like, what's wrong with you people?
[18:28] So artists like that, that's a little bit of an extreme
[18:30] situation, but that kind of stuff happens all the time, all
[18:33] the time. And so, yeah, cut all that stuff
[18:36] out from my whole entire family, not just myself.
[18:39] I don't just listen to whatever is trending because I'm very
[18:42] intentional about what I I really feel like the music that
[18:45] I listen to, it goes into my brain, into my soul in a
[18:49] different way than what I I can look at something and then like
[18:52] look away. But something that's like
[18:54] permeating my brain, I'm just like, no, this is going to
[18:56] affect me in ways that I can't even think of.
[18:59] Maybe it's because I love music. I don't know.
[19:02] But yeah, I love, I love listening to Noah Khan.
[19:05] There's another band, MC4D. These aren't Christian music or
[19:08] worship songs, but they're just very good feel good musics, not
[19:13] about drugs, not about sex or violence or anything like that.
[19:16] And it just, that's what I like to listen to.
[19:19] So I don't, I'm very careful when it comes to the secular
[19:21] music that we listen to nowadays.
[19:23] Part seven kind of goes with the shows that I watch, but part 7
[19:27] is I no longer watch reality TV. And that changed the way that I
[19:31] speak now so I don't curse the way that I used to.
[19:35] And I kind of lumped these in together because if you watch
[19:38] reality TV, if you watch shows like let's say Grey's Anatomy or
[19:42] something like that, they're not cursing every other day.
[19:44] They might say Dame what D AM N or HELL, but they're not saying
[19:53] like the F word. They're not saying these very
[19:55] vulgar, awful words, but reality TV, they say all those words and
[20:00] they say it very casually in conversation, as did I.
[20:03] If you go back 10 years ago, it was the F word.
[20:05] Every other word, just, it was an adjective For me.
[20:08] It, it went in front of anything that I was describing and felt
[20:12] passionately about, good, bad or otherwise.
[20:14] Not for me. Not for me that it's not how I
[20:16] speak anymore. I blame reality TV for kind of.
[20:20] Creating this normalization of that crude and vulgar language.
[20:24] So no, and you can apply that to anything else.
[20:28] Sleeping around the way they dress.
[20:30] Love Island is soft core PORN. Like you will not convince me
[20:35] otherwise and I just want no part of it.
[20:38] So again, I used to watch it. I used to enjoy it.
[20:41] These celebrities like Kim Kardashian, that whole clan of
[20:44] like celebrities, I used to enjoy following them and now I
[20:48] just, I'm so uncomfortable that I want nothing to do with them.
[20:51] I'm just going to lump 7 and 8 together because I already
[20:54] touched upon it. But I no longer follow
[20:56] celebrities or influencers that do not reflect my values and
[20:58] morals. And that is does not mean that
[21:01] the only person that I follow are people who are practicing
[21:03] Catholics and who only post about their faith.
[21:05] No, no, no, no, that's not what I mean.
[21:07] It's not about creating some kind of perfect filtered
[21:09] environment where every single person that I follow is
[21:12] explicitly speaking about the faith, but it's about being
[21:15] honest again about what is constantly being put in front of
[21:18] me and what is shaping me over time.
[21:20] I had to recognize that there's a difference between someone not
[21:22] talking about their faith and someone consistently promoting a
[21:26] way of life that directly conflicts with the values that I
[21:28] am trying to live by. I don't follow any political
[21:31] people. I follow people that I have met
[21:34] and different the Vatican, Hallo Ascension, truthfully, different
[21:39] Catholic kind of corporations and then just regular people.
[21:43] No celebrities for me, man, no thank you #9 is I no longer stay
[21:48] in the spiral even if it starts. So this is something that I
[21:50] still experience. Obviously, I overthink, I have
[21:53] anxiety, I'm a little bit type A, but I no longer stay in the
[21:56] spiral as long as I used to replaying a situation over and
[21:59] over. So before I used to stay in the
[22:01] spiral pride this long, and now I stay in the spiral this long
[22:04] because this I'm praying about it.
[22:06] And so that's something that's just shifted for me.
[22:08] And it's not something that I set out to do, but it's
[22:10] something that I notice and that I wanted to put on here.
[22:12] And I actually lied. I don't have a number 10.
[22:15] So this was a big fat lie. It was only 9 things that I
[22:19] stopped doing. I don't know why I was what I
[22:20] was thinking. I thought I wrote these out
[22:22] before. But yeah, that's all I have for
[22:24] today. Leave in the comments anything
[22:25] that you have felt has been different or that you have felt
[22:28] shift or maybe something you started doing or stop doing as
[22:32] you became closer to God and deeper in your faith.
[22:34] Because I love having these conversations and knowing what
[22:37] other people do. Because it kind of opens my eyes
[22:39] to maybe different areas in my life that maybe they're not
[22:43] neglected, but that I'm not paying enough attention to
[22:46] overall that maybe I can prey on and dig into a little bit more.
[22:51] So these are my 9 things. I'm keeping the title as 10
[22:55] though because people are going to be like 9 things, but that's
[22:59] a lie and I shouldn't lie. You know what?
[23:01] I'm going to put nine. I'm going to be honest and say
[23:03] 9. But anyways, that is all I have
[23:06] for today. Thank you guys so much for
[23:08] listening and I will see you guys next time.
[23:10] Bye.

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