# The Extra Legendary Bit: A Beach Bar Brawl and a Christmas Plumber

An episode of [Bloomin' Legends with Johnny Vaughan & Gavin Woods](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1801061004), 9 Aug 2026, 17 min.

Audio: https://episodes.captivate.fm/episode/f73c440b-e737-44c8-9792-d3d1bd5b55e2.mp3?aw_0_1st.showid=14abdfd8-4e8f-4e93-b149-a53f40686052&aw_0_1st.episodeid=f73c440b-e737-44c8-9792-d3d1bd5b55e2

A night out turns into a beachside evacuation. Thirty Royal Marines charge into the dark wearing boots, body armour and ballistic helmets, armed with whatever they could find in the galley, including a two-handled boiling pot. The Extra Legendary Bit is the bonus episode where Johnny Vaughan and Gavin “The Woodman” Woods leave the history books behind and dive into the unhinged, moving and brilliant stories sent in by you, the listeners. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: • The Royal Navy Run Ashore That Got Out of Hand – Gareth remembers his late dad Sean: a teenage Navy recruit, a police-car-light heist in Pensacola, and the Caribbean night a beach bar bust-up required a full Marine rescue mission. • Can a Dickhead Still Be a Legend? – Mary asks the big question: can one heroic act outweigh years of being difficult? Johnny answers with a surprisingly profound passage from Tolstoy about why human beings are like rivers. • Uncle Dave, the Christmas Plumber – Jason nominates the man who has spent 40 years keeping elderly customers warm, fixing boilers for free and quietly being a bloomin legend. 🎥 Watch the full episode now on the Bloomin' Legends YouTube channel! Got a legend you want us to cover? 📩 Send it to: bloominlegends@global.com 📲 Follow us on TikTok & Instagram: @BloominLegends 🎥 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bloominlegends Listen to all episodes on Global Player, download the app, or visit www.globalplayer.com Bloomin' Legends is a Global production Produced by Cassie Merritt New episodes are released every Wednesday & Sunday. Subscribe to never miss an episode!

## Transcript

[0:03] This is a global production.
[0:05] Yeah. Found out him and his missus have been pursued by Jack,
[0:08] not the big cat.
[0:09] You there. Game of gin rummy? 30 marines sprinted off the craft
[0:14] towards the militia. My dad recalled hearing an almighty dunk
[0:19] as a local militia member's head was introduced to a two handled
[0:22] boiling pot.
[0:23] Nice. Welcome to Bloomin Legends, the extra legendary bit.
[0:33] I'm Johnny Vaughan.
[0:33] I'm Gavin Woods.
[0:35] This is the bit where we look at your own legendary antics. Well,
[0:38] I say your own Gav. It could be there could be their granddads.
[0:42] Yes, we love a granddad in war. Oh, I love it. It could be a
[0:45] grandma, you know, she could have served or just been heroic on
[0:50] the home front.
[0:50] Hit a Nazi soldier on the head with a pan.
[0:53] Yes. I mean, I know someone who's grand used to man the Akat
[0:57] guns and she used to. Remember whose gran used to man his granny.
[1:02] Where?
[1:02] Out in the East End in London. Yes. She used to go along, she used
[1:05] to man those guns and she used to watch where she'd got any German
[1:10] planes and where they come down. Yeah. And then she used to
[1:12] cycle into Kent in the morning and try and rob the bodies.
[1:16] It's like a cockney woman's dream, isn't it? A cat gun.
[1:20] It's a cockney followed by robbing. She's a fierce woman. So
[1:26] could be your aunt, could be your great aunt, could be your great
[1:28] uncle. Could be a mate on a stag night.
[1:30] Yeah.
[1:30] Could be a friend of yours who, when walking in Brazil or Colombia
[1:34] on holiday, was just walking along, hearing this rumble in the
[1:37] jungle. Yeah, Thought nothing of it. Found out he'd been followed
[1:40] and pursued by a Jaguar. And I'm not talking. Yeah, but obviously
[1:44] not by a cat.
[1:47] In a six liter car.
[1:48] Him and his missus have been pursued by a jack, not the big cat.
[1:52] You there, Game of gin rummy?
[1:54] I can give you a lift if you like. Anyway, if they're legendary,
[1:59] if you want to celebrate them on this, the extra legendary bit,
[2:03] please get in touch. Blooming legends@global.com bloominlegends
[2:07] global.com feel free to drop a comment below. We are still looking,
[2:11] Gav, for any of your fine British motor marks or planes or
[2:18] bikes or boats. Yeah, boats, definitely boats get given names?
[2:21] Yes.
[2:22] Skylark.
[2:23] No, no, I tell you, it's a great one. The Levi Corsair. It's
[2:28] the best deep V boat ever built.
[2:29] Is it?
[2:30] Yeah. You pick him up still for about 90 to 120, 000. Wow. And
[2:34] it's still the greatest ever hull British boat. Oh, it's. No,
[2:38] nothing wonderful. The Levi Corsair. You could take it anywhere
[2:42] around the world, it wouldn't be phased. And you can still be having
[2:44] gin and tonics below.
[2:45] I like it when they call. They call them things like a snipe.
[2:48] Yes. Yeah. There's a good name actually would be the Wesley Snipe.
[2:54] Because Wesley sounds really.
[2:56] As of fact the Harrison Ford.
[2:57] Yeah.
[2:58] Would be. Is that the trick to big movie stars? That's it.
[3:01] The Glenn Ford.
[3:02] Yeah. Harrison Ford is a really.
[3:05] That's very.
[3:06] That went before the Ford. It used to be Harrod. The company was
[3:09] Harrison Ford with an hyphen. Yeah, yeah. Harrison Ford. Yeah.
[3:12] But the Wesley Snipe is absolutely fantastic, isn't it?
[3:15] That's really good.
[3:16] Anyway, Gav, who's first with something? With something first.
[3:20] Johnny. Up first is a listener, Gareth, who begins his
[3:25] message. Gentlemen, during last week's Edgard extra legendary
[3:30] bit, Johnny mentioned missing the possibility of his father.
[3:33] Yeah.
[3:33] This really hit home and has inspired me to recall some stories
[3:37] my late great dad Sean told me and submit this nomination for his
[3:42] blooming status. For his status of blooming legend in his
[3:45] memory. A proud Welshman, but based in Scotland since the age of
[3:49] 23.
[3:49] Ish.
[3:50] My dad joined the Royal Navy at the ripe age of 16. Ah, an older
[3:54] recruit.
[3:55] Yes.
[3:55] And eventually achieved the rank of petty officer. The youngest
[4:00] in the navy at the time, he claimed. Could have been true. Yeah.
[4:03] There are several stories I could use in this nomination. Such
[4:06] as when a set of lights was stolen from a cop car while docked
[4:10] in Pensacola.
[4:11] Fantastic.
[4:11] The perpetrators, including my dad, were swiftly tracked back to
[4:15] the ship. And in an attempt to appease the local lawman, a barbecue
[4:19] was organized for the sheriff's department aboard the ship
[4:22] where they turned up in uniform, got hammered and wheel spun
[4:26] their patrol cars away from the ship while firing their revolvers
[4:30] into the air. A truly ridiculous sight by today's standards.
[4:35] But nothing compared to what came later in the deployment. That's
[4:38] an amazing story on its own. You got Beaufort tea, Buford?
[4:43] Yeah. They just got hammered. Yeah. Do you want why I think is
[4:47] a real source of blooming legendariness.
[4:49] Go on.
[4:50] And this is why we must. We was never underestimated as key to
[4:53] this. Apart from booze.
[4:54] Yeah.
[4:55] Boredom, definitely.
[4:56] Time to fill.
[4:57] Time to fill. Time to fill. The sort of person that joins the
[5:01] services is looking for a bit of derring. Do you? Gets there, finds
[5:05] out he actually is a lot of waiting around. Hurry up and wait.
[5:08] That's the experience. My father's in the army's. A real experience.
[5:11] Yeah. Of. Of nothing. Just nothing to do. So instead they've
[5:16] got to clean things, get everything spick and span. That keeps
[5:19] them occupied. Obviously, it creates a regimental attitude, a
[5:23] regimented attitude. But when they get these chances. Oh, and booze
[5:28] is the john.
[5:29] I think the phrase you're looking for is a run ashore.
[5:32] A run ashore.
[5:33] Especially if you've been on the same ship four months or something,
[5:36] you know, and then suddenly you're in a town or a different island
[5:39] or something.
[5:39] I mean, it's bad enough just getting off a plane to Spain, you
[5:43] know,.
[5:44] You feel ready for it.
[5:45] 2 hours, 45 minutes. It's not even that much of a palaga. Suddenly
[5:48] I'm sick of this place. Suddenly. Suddenly the lads have
[5:51] landed.
[5:52] Right? Exactly. Anyway, Gareth. That first story would have
[5:55] done, but Gareth goes on. During a later visit to a Caribbean
[5:58] island whose name eludes me, members of the ship's company were
[6:01] granted shore relief. But due to the lack of dock facilities, the
[6:05] ship's landing craft was used to ferry personnel to and from the
[6:09] ship. After a couple of nights, it was finally my dad's turn
[6:12] to go ashore and sample the local beer. But after several nights
[6:16] of fraternizing and general laddish behavior by Her Majesty's
[6:20] Senior Service, the local population was becoming disgruntled
[6:24] with the Navy's presence.
[6:25] Right.
[6:25] By the third night, the tension had reached.
[6:28] Because also, Gav, presumably what's happening is every single
[6:30] night, people are coming back and they're talking about what a
[6:33] great laugh they've had.
[6:34] Exactly.
[6:34] Which is really firing the people and.
[6:36] Upping the ante for the next group to go ashore.
[6:38] And also, everyone's thinking, you should have seen what we got
[6:40] up to. Yeah. Right. And also, it says one upper ship, which is
[6:42] deadly. Oh, people waiting behind and feeling frustrated.
[6:46] Yes.
[6:46] And then thinking, you wait when we go.
[6:49] My turn.
[6:50] Yeah. And also, this might end. Right. Don't queer the pitch.
[6:54] Yes. They might stop the runs ashore.
[6:56] What's happening now?
[6:57] Well, by the third night, the tension had reached breaking point.
[7:01] While in a local beachside bar, a large group of locals had
[7:05] started to gather to drive off the intruders.
[7:07] Yeah.
[7:08] A brief scuffle ensued, but this was only the beginning. A larger
[7:13] group then gathered, almost like a little militia, and the decision
[7:16] was made to retreat back to the ship.
[7:18] Yeah.
[7:19] Evacuation was called and a rendezvous set approximately one
[7:22] kilometer down the beach. My dad's party was chased across the
[7:26] sand towards the pickup point. All involved Were genuinely fearful
[7:30] as they tried to escape what was now basically a militia.
[7:33] Yeah.
[7:34] Meanwhile, unbeknownst to my dad and his comrades on the beach,
[7:37] the embarked Royal Marine Detachment.
[7:40] Yeah, well, there's always Royal Marines.
[7:43] Were awoken from their slumber and instructed to gear up for immediate
[7:47] action. With no time to get fully dressed. Only boots, body armor
[7:51] and ballistic helmets were grabbed, along with some makeshift
[7:53] weapons from the ship's galley.
[7:55] Nice.
[7:57] Through the darkness, the silhouette of a landing craft could
[8:00] be seen motoring to shore. With the clanking of chains and the
[8:04] splash, the ramp hits the deck. 30 marines sprinted off the
[8:08] craft towards the militia. My dad recalled hearing an almighty
[8:12] thunk as a local militia member's head was introduced to a
[8:16] two handled boiling pot.
[8:17] Nice.
[8:18] The militia was easily repulsed by the Marines. All saw
[8:22] this as a bloody good laugh.
[8:23] No, they weren't allowed to engage.
[8:25] There was no weapons. Yeah, exactly. The ship departed the next
[8:28] morning. So they had to get the marines in to recover the other
[8:31] sailors.
[8:32] Yeah, yeah, right.
[8:33] The ship departed the next morning. It was suggested by some
[8:36] that those further up the chain of command decided leaving
[8:38] would avoid a diplomatic incident. Out of all his stories,
[8:42] this is the one that tickled me most. It may appear over exaggerated,
[8:45] but knowing my dad, I don't believe it is. My dad passed away
[8:49] suddenly in 2024, only 59 years old. Literally hundreds of
[8:53] people attended his funeral, which says all you need to know about
[8:56] the kind of man he was. He is sorely missed. Thank you for considering
[9:00] this nomination. But to me, he was, he will always be, a blooming
[9:03] legend. Yours Faithfully, Gareth Moat. P.S. See a pic below
[9:08] of myself and the legend himself. There he is.
[9:11] There we go.
[9:12] And wearing the traditional rugby shirt.
[9:15] There we go.
[9:15] Fantastic, Gareth. What a fantastic.
[9:17] Well, an absolute legend.
[9:19] Absolutely proper legend.
[9:21] Yeah, we've had a lot of dad stories in since last week's extra
[9:25] legendary tribute to my own father. Please keep those coming
[9:28] in. If this becomes a place where we can celebrate the legendary
[9:33] anecdotes and the.
[9:36] A lost dad's notice board.
[9:38] Right, right. Please celebrate your dads here or your mums or your
[9:43] granddads or your grannies. If this becomes a message board from
[9:48] memory of these great people who are, as the great saying goes
[9:52] from Larry McMurtry, horse horsemen that passed by then, that's
[9:56] fantastic. We'll celebrate them here. Gladly. Thank you so much
[9:59] for all the ones you've sent in. Sorry I get a bit emotional talking
[10:02] about it.
[10:03] Absolutely.
[10:04] I've. Since my father passed, I have joined that club that no One
[10:07] wants to be a member of. But if you're a member of it, you, you,
[10:11] you appreciate it. If, if you're not, you can't possibly. But
[10:14] yeah, now I have. I find these stories a bit more. A bit more. Yeah,
[10:18] yeah, yeah. A bit more. More foreign. This is Maria. Sorry, this
[10:29] is Mary via email. Hi Gav and Johnny writing in because I'd like
[10:34] to hear your opinions on this thought. Oh God.
[10:37] Oh God.
[10:39] Oh no, says I. You two cover a lot of people who despite doing some
[10:43] legendary things at the end of the day were probably in some respect.
[10:51] He was horrible.
[10:53] Do you think that a one off heroic act or legendary part of your
[10:56] life can outweigh years of being a nightmare? Like if someone
[11:00] saves a life but was universally known as a bit of a nightmare,
[11:03] are they still a blooming legend? Thanks for all you do. I
[11:07] love tuning in every week. And that is from Mary. Do you know what
[11:11] Mary? I think that. That human beings we carry with within us all
[11:18] possibilities. All possibilities and we carry them all
[11:21] at the same time.
[11:22] We could all be cruel.
[11:23] We can from the dark end of the scale to the, to the, you know,
[11:27] the lovely side of life. We carry all of it and. And now we are
[11:31] one and now another and, and frequently we are quite unlike ourselves
[11:35] while always. While always being the same person.
[11:38] So it's a hard thing to quantify.
[11:41] I. I think that because we live in this, this age of hashtag
[11:46] one or the other one or the other and we are always tarring everybody
[11:51] with particularly like the dark triad as though this person
[11:55] is a full on narcissist, that person's a psychopath, that person
[11:59] a sociopath when actual fact they are sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[12:03] but now that's them. No one is qualified uniquely just in one way
[12:09] and is just that. So yes a dickhead can be a. But but not all
[12:15] the time. They have that moment when they. So I suppose it
[12:18] depends doesn't it.
[12:19] On how big and how good the act was. Yes, there's a good act.
[12:24] Yes.
[12:24] And how much of a dickhead.
[12:26] These are not my words. These are the words of well the greatest
[12:30] author who's ever lived, Leo Tolstoy. And this is I think worth
[12:35] reading to you in this age where we just want to cast someone
[12:41] with a hashtag. It's binary that and that pure evil. Yeah yeah.
[12:44] Or that saint. And I think you know, going forward these about the
[12:48] wisest words I've ever read. Are you ready for this?
[12:51] Go on that.
[12:51] Okay. This is what Tolstoy says in the book Resurrection, which
[12:55] is a absolute peach of a book.
[12:57] Is it?
[12:58] Yeah, it's brilliant.
[12:59] I've never.
[12:59] Absolutely brilliant. One of the commonest and most generally
[13:03] accepted delusions is that every man can be qualified in some
[13:07] particular way, said to be kind or wicked or stupid or energetic
[13:12] or apathetic and so on. In your case, said to be a dickhead.
[13:16] People are not like that. We may say of a man, he is more often
[13:20] kind than cruel, more often wise than stupid, more often energetic
[13:25] than apathetic, or vice versa. But it could never be true to say
[13:29] of one man that he's kind or wise, and of another that he is wicked
[13:35] and stupid. Yet we're always classifying mankind in this way,
[13:40] and it is wrong. Now, here's the rub. This is one of the most
[13:43] beautiful things I've ever read. He then concludes, human beings
[13:48] are like rivers. The water is one and the same in all of them.
[13:52] But every river is narrow in some places, flows swifter in others.
[13:56] Here it is broad, there it is still or clear or cold or muddy or
[14:01] warm. It's the same with men. Every man bears within him the germs
[14:07] of every human quality, and now manifests one and now another,
[14:11] and frequently is quite unlike himself while still remaining the
[14:16] same man. And that's really my answer to that, because it's words.
[14:22] I always try and remember. I read him years ago when I read the
[14:26] book, and funny enough, I read that book when I was in jail, Right.
[14:29] When you're surrounded by people who are, he's evil, he's a
[14:33] murderer, he's a thief. And yet, you know, I found that out after
[14:36] having quite a charming game of table tennis or watching a war
[14:40] film and. Yeah, and laughing my head off, you know, or, this person
[14:42] is a heroin dealer. This person. And suddenly you find out
[14:47] that about this person who's. Who's really funny or who I'm working
[14:50] in a kitchen with. So those words at the time were really relevant.
[14:54] If you look up, human beings are like rivers. Leo Tolstoy, Resurrection.
[14:59] You'll see them. We will be posting them on that same quote on
[15:03] our Instagram account and our TikTok account, which is Bloominlegends,
[15:08] if you want to see it. And they might even put them on the screen
[15:11] on the YouTube channel.
[15:12] Fantastic.
[15:13] Who's next?
[15:14] So this is from Jason via email. He starts, Hi, Johnny and
[15:17] Gav. I'd like to nominate my Uncle Dave as a blooming legend.
[15:21] He's been a plumber for over 40 years, but anyone who knows him
[15:24] knows he's really in the business of helping people. His phone
[15:27] is never off. He keeps it on in case any of his elderly customers
[15:30] lose their heating. He's ended up fixing countless boilers for free
[15:34] over Christmas because he couldn't bear the thought of someone
[15:37] spending Christmas in a cold house. He's also the sort of bloke
[15:40] who'll pop in on older customers just to make sure they're
[15:43] okay, even if they don't need any work doing. He'd never call attention
[15:47] to it and he'd be mortified that I've written in, but he spent
[15:50] decades quietly looking after people without expecting anything
[15:53] in return. And to me, that's worth calling out as legendary.
[15:57] Brilliant.
[15:57] Cheers, fellas.
[15:58] And there are.
[15:58] You know, there are men like this.
[16:00] Yes. And yet we might find out. Yeah. That in the 70s, he was
[16:04] a serial killer. We're not gonna find that out.
[16:07] No, we won't.
[16:07] Jason.
[16:09] I'm sure he's fine.
[16:10] Just joking.
[16:11] I'm sure he's fine.
[16:12] Yeah. Okay, that's it for the extra legendary bit for another week.
[16:16] We should be back with episode six 76 podcast 76 of Blooming Legends
[16:22] in a few days time. Don't forget to catch it. Don't forget
[16:25] to drop any comments on our YouTube channel. Don't forget to
[16:28] write in about your own legends. Bloominlegendslobal.com
[16:32] Get a pen. Blooming Legends global.com Please stay in touch with
[16:39] us via our social media accounts, bloominglegends, which
[16:43] is on Instagram or. Or TikTok, where I'll put that massive Tolstoy
[16:48] quote that I delivered earlier. Thank you so much for listening.
[16:52] We'll speak to you in episode 76.
[16:58] This has been a global production.

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