# Episode 5: “Those Kids Are Not Mine?”

An episode of [I Get Gist For You](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1784624645), 2 Apr 2025, 49 min.

Audio: https://traffic.megaphone.fm/APO1095432373.mp3

Imagine raising kids, paying school fees, showing up to every PTA meeting—only to find out years later that… those kids no be your own?! The wahala is too much! In this episode, Uzor (@uzxrma) shares a deeply personal and eye-opening family story that explores the scary world of paternity fraud—and why so many young people today are genuinely afraid of marriage. This one is real, raw, and unfiltered. But you know we can’t be serious for too long—we also get into the chaotic world of exes. 👉🏾 Is it ever okay to date your friend’s ex? 👉🏾 Can you stay friends with someone who used to date your close friend? 👉🏾 Are there lines that should never be crossed—or are we all just pretending? KP (@kpfawehinmi) and Uzor bring the usual IGGFY madness: hot takes, wild stories, messy banter, and just enough wisdom to make you think (and laugh while doing it). If you’re coming from one of our clips or social media posts, welcome to the IGGFY family! 🫶🏾 We’re so glad to have you here. Before you press play, make sure to: ✅ Follow & rate us 5⭐️ on Spotify & Apple Podcasts ✅ Share this episode with your friends (and group chats 👀) ✅ Follow us on socials: @igetgistforyou on IG & Twitter Now grab your headphones, sip something nice, and let’s gist!

## Transcript

[0:16] It's been worried, Olga. And you think, man, you think
[0:22] about my life. Well, how do you we go to this?
[0:27] Week God, the love of my life got married.
[0:29] Are you? Are you happy for her?
[0:31] Why would I be happy for her? She was supposed to be married
[0:34] to me. Why is she going to marry?
[0:35] So why do you? Why, why, why did he not work
[0:37] out in two of you? Love this weekend?
[0:42] How many? How many love this weekend?
[0:46] Simon. Tell us gist.
[0:49] No, just so I don't get any gist for you just know that I'm sad
[0:51] this episode. I'm just I'm just sad, man.
[0:54] Like Bright. I open Instagram.
[0:56] Yeah. And the open story I see the
[1:01] love of my life getting married. No way.
[1:05] Now this love of your life, wherever should you be be?
[1:07] Is it like somebody that like all your friends do so like
[1:10] Isaiah tapping every story. Ah, bro, everybody that they had
[1:14] to just delete this. I didn't.
[1:16] I just dropped my phone. I know the opponent.
[1:19] I feel happy. I'm happy for her happiness,
[1:23] Happiness I big, big. We have to give well, you know
[1:29] what let's episode. Let's be civil.
[1:31] Let's be civil. That's not the civil servants.
[1:34] Hi guys, welcome to another episode of I get just for you.
[1:37] I was above I get just for you and I'm keeping the heartbroken
[1:43] *** of I get just for you. Before we start subscribe follow
[1:49] us please before something do you I'll be again for our lives
[1:57] there like help to black men or try to make out the hood while
[2:01] hungry men exactly like while hungry.
[2:03] These guys both you see Assad now tell them was good to make
[2:06] you happy. Your subscription your phone you
[2:08] subscribe man your shares so I just feel them subscribe OK, I'm
[2:12] happy again Just wait. Yeah this was true power came
[2:15] back to me Yeah let's get it. Let's get it finish my just just
[2:22] more photos on Instagram. I just thought you shared that
[2:31] video. Oh.
[2:34] If you if you, if something really happens, if they if they
[2:37] save the video on Instagram or or TikTok or even repost it, it
[2:42] gives me orgasm orgasm follow Gazi say Gazi.
[2:47] Yes, I could. Subscribe Gazi.
[2:50] Like Gazi? Anyways, thank you guys.
[2:55] You know, they finish my my, my, my shifts.
[2:57] I, I saw this shirt. They already walked in the
[2:59] morning. I'm like what the fuck are you
[3:01] using? What is your?
[3:03] Inspirational audio listeners I think just so you can understand
[3:06] you need to just check YouTube. Just look at what is wrong with
[3:08] my shirt. The guy is dressed like an intro
[3:10] tech basic lesson teacher. Look at the color of the shades.
[3:15] Engineer. Engineer color only bad mouse.
[3:21] I'm supposedly black Nigerian business you they love me.
[3:25] There's not even talk about our black business because you know
[3:28] they feel my my shifts like make you feel feel like a rich man.
[3:32] No, the parts Are you ready? OK, where are you your your
[3:39] lawyer like the way I should be. Two things can coexist.
[3:43] So let's say maybe next week, next week and we're Woody, who
[3:49] knows what we can we can continue the episodes with MKP
[3:53] is very sad. He's got to tell us why he's
[3:54] sad. So it's in the it's the
[3:57] potpourri. So you know that I've gone with
[3:59] my heart until I will have said to you just now, what do you
[4:07] have for me? I don't know what you know what
[4:10] you have for me though. We want to talk about marriage
[4:13] that's young about marriage. No, this year we will have got
[4:15] married. What happened like what happened
[4:18] between two of you are like how did he and you where you guys
[4:21] go? Do you think like you had a
[4:23] chance of getting back with her before she got married?
[4:25] Tell us details like we need to understand why it.
[4:28] Was just when I was in my toxic *** era I feel like.
[4:31] Everybody era you don't need for this.
[4:33] Life is forever changing, you know you have to be changing
[4:36] with the times. You know I was doing my toxic
[4:38] area. You know some dumb shit on ah
[4:41] guy I wicked before shot. OK, so tell us what you did.
[4:44] I cannot say you know you know you ask me the pro pro pro.
[4:48] I only talk. Oh, yeah.
[4:50] Oh yeah. To the grave.
[4:51] Tell us. Tell us.
[4:52] Why you feel the way you feel do you feel like she slides you
[4:55] she's the love of my life when she she obviously she's not
[4:57] slimy OK good. This guy is not good to carry
[5:01] you this French. So my baby, my baby like during
[5:06] 2020, I did like this big party vibes right now everybody put up
[5:11] you could be like obviously I know it was open now.
[5:13] Yeah, I'm guy can actually steal this story, man.
[5:16] Yeah, please, any answer I will not go in depth.
[5:19] Basically what happened is that while the party was going on,
[5:24] there was an incident. That's what I can say.
[5:26] OK, incident. What kind of incident?
[5:28] I cannot see there was an incident.
[5:31] Give a broad type of incident. Was he an accidental incident?
[5:33] What was? There was an incident in
[5:36] involving OK, a type of assaults.
[5:39] OK, right. That is the best I can describe.
[5:43] I will leave it as that. Yes, now me, I don't show you
[5:46] too much. I don't go to sleep.
[5:48] I was not were. You part of the assault?
[5:50] No, it was, it was involving the love of my life.
[5:54] OK, OK. So the next one, the PR, the
[5:58] people found out right, But it didn't look like assault, it
[6:02] just looked like so the trigger one is for just wanted to see
[6:06] that. So you were not part of the
[6:07] assaults? I was.
[6:08] It was your lover was part of the assault.
[6:10] Yeah, but it was your party. Yeah, and it was my party and he
[6:13] involved one of my guys at the time.
[6:15] He's not my guy anymore, but my guys at the time and.
[6:18] Really got your assaults? Caught caught you, of course,
[6:21] yeah man. So yeah, it was kind of like
[6:24] tricky because like when you now became like new so hard it
[6:28] became it was my events. It was my party now and like it
[6:32] was my guy. And then it looked like I knew
[6:35] and I didn't do anything and I didn't say anything, but I
[6:37] didn't know because like I said, like I was knocked out that.
[6:41] So it was just like one of those like, yeah, don't think we can
[6:44] be friends again type of thing. And that's it.
[6:46] Like he focuses me for like a long time because he was like, I
[6:49] literally didn't do anything. I couldn't even have done
[6:52] anything because I was. Really, really drunk and all
[6:54] that shit. Bro, so we've not we've not seen
[6:56] since. Now next I see she don't marry
[7:01] this guy paid me, man. But hey, it is what it is.
[7:05] You live on your left. Yeah, she's the one that got
[7:07] away. So like do you guys like it's
[7:09] like you have like mutual friends, a lot of mutual
[7:11] friends, like yes, I see. So every time you are pressing
[7:14] your you're watching every Instagram story.
[7:17] I'm happy for you. Yes, while me I'm there not
[7:20] happy for her. Yes, yeah, Yes, she was.
[7:22] Well, if you really, if you really value you guys, what you
[7:24] guys had as friends or anything, you should be happy for her,
[7:27] even if you should clap for her from afar.
[7:29] You don't think so? I'm just being the rational
[7:32] voice here. If you claim that she's your
[7:34] friend, you hit away. These guys he hit.
[7:41] Well, I'm just thinking about something now.
[7:43] I just saw one start this week. Yeah.
[7:46] About marriage. And I realized that, like,
[7:49] Speaking of marriage, just piggybacking of what you said.
[7:52] I realized that like marriage is, is like he is in a massive
[7:57] decline in this our generation. Yeah.
[7:59] People are very scared of getting married.
[8:03] Not not in. Ottawa not in Lagos, not in
[8:07] Lagos. You know many people in the last
[8:09] 24. I'm telling you my classmates,
[8:11] my set mates, people that like started universities together.
[8:14] You know many people they proposed to they were just doing
[8:16] last marries. If we were just married like
[8:20] people that you would think that the relationship the next day,
[8:22] the real but the the worst one. I will we they were there for
[8:26] club with you one weekend next weekend.
[8:30] They don't drop proposal videos. You were dancing obli obli obli
[8:37] obli the same hand way they do you still to come for rain like
[8:42] bro, we see the apple, but there's clearly a memo that we
[8:45] missed. I'm telling you we didn't miss
[8:47] anything, because if you notice, it's just the babes.
[8:51] That I get to married. Which guy got got married that
[8:54] you know, that's about that's our age.
[8:56] That is our set mates. We went to school with us.
[8:58] Who's which? Name one person.
[9:00] There are some that was, I don't know, I'm telling you, not one.
[9:04] It is just the babes. They're catching them at 24
[9:07] because we just were 24 or 25. Who is we?
[9:10] How old are you? I'm 19.
[9:13] You have. To be 21 to start.
[9:19] Could you talk more things? Sasha is the best.
[9:23] I get married. You get what I'm saying.
[9:25] So like, but what happened to? Us as why, why, why why are the
[9:29] men not indulging in the marriage I say industry the
[9:33] economy is not it's not it's not it's.
[9:35] Not it's not. It's not favorable relation.
[9:37] Production is dancing money. Manage my fault for you.
[9:41] If we have the right finances or we are aware we need to be in
[9:44] life, definitely we'll take that step.
[9:46] We're not there. I don't think that that is just.
[9:48] It's kind of like. Me.
[9:49] I'm not going to lie to you, I I became very scared of marriage.
[9:54] OK. Let me just give you this, just
[9:56] me. I'm very scared of marriage.
[9:57] I can't lie to you. It's not relating to the economy
[10:00] or I'm seriously scared. And that is very ironic coming
[10:05] from me because I came, I come from a very loving family.
[10:09] My parents have married for over 25 years.
[10:11] My my dad holds my mom's. Shout out to.
[10:14] New mom charity that the he holds around everywhere they go.
[10:17] The he opens doors for us. So my mom's best friend, No, but
[10:23] my best friend, best neighbor. They're planning to you know,
[10:26] Jack bar as I was doing Jack, I was like I got gas commodity at
[10:29] what we get. So they're trying to Jack.
[10:31] So they're planning that like, oh, do we leave like the whole
[10:34] family is going to those go to New Brunswick presetal island
[10:38] and you know able to get their peer and go with everything
[10:41] behind starting starting new life.
[10:43] You get, so obviously the immigration process, you know,
[10:47] entails that you have to prove like people, everybody you're
[10:50] carrying is related to you. So you have to your marriage
[10:53] documents, your children's birth certificates and their and their
[10:58] DNA or if they're not your own, their adoption certificate,
[11:01] something that proves that like it's your family because you
[11:03] can't just woke up. I say, oh, this one in my family
[11:05] doesn't know it doesn't work like that.
[11:07] So they went to do DNA. Now this guy has five children,
[11:10] his children. The last one is like my age
[11:12] mates and he found out that the five of them, none, not even 1
[11:18] was his own guy. Daddy, you say the last one is
[11:22] your age. Yeah, that's the guy.
[11:24] I don't train all of them from was my age.
[11:27] Then the guys trained all of them, that kind of thing.
[11:32] So I just did my own. Now they watch much for my this
[11:35] thing. I had doorbearing.
[11:37] I opened the door. I saw the my uncle.
[11:40] I used to go bro tears fully. I damn.
[11:44] It's like where is Deopa? He calls my dad Deopa like his
[11:47] brother. So I don't know the Eboo word
[11:49] and then he enters the house and then I don't know that like I
[11:52] was just hearing William. You know what?
[11:55] What's this for a man in his 50s to get me, get me, get me fight
[12:02] this one, this one. If you laugh, I will blow you.
[12:05] I don't. Really love love the guy.
[12:06] Just the way he's not a speaky Boo like English or commodity
[12:11] aid that is a woman has done a strong thing and he left and I
[12:16] obviously went to gang do that a fool and asked my dad what
[12:20] happened. You will fail the exams that
[12:26] kind of pee buddy or eventually I found out and I actually went
[12:30] to do research. Do you know for a fact this one
[12:34] is not wow. Do your findings for a fact that
[12:37] 30% of of Nigerian women are guilty of fraternity, fraternity
[12:45] fraud, which means in every three, in every 10 children,
[12:50] three of them are bastards, which means as we are 10 in this
[12:53] room now, it's not me, it's not me possibility that three of us
[13:00] here are bastards. I'm telling you since that they
[13:04] are just the fear because bro, do you understand that I would
[13:07] watch this is my uncle and his wife.
[13:10] I can watch them and be in relating things that were local
[13:13] marriages. The kids.
[13:14] How you get I don't know, say that's why I'm scared of
[13:19] marriage because like bro, that paternity fraud thing is real.
[13:22] So like I didn't. Know I didn't know so many
[13:24] questions that I'm telling you #1 not like.
[13:27] Not even one. Like not even one out of the 5
[13:31] was his I say. The guy you know, he did not
[13:33] score one goal. Everything upside team winner
[13:37] because just the fire blanks uncle I'm sorry but you not one
[13:43] was his one. Do you understand that like the
[13:46] process of this cheating thing is is too is too hectic to
[13:50] because what do you want to send a mistake?
[13:53] He's too hectic to be a mistake. You did it five times.
[13:56] You went back 51234 You know the five and you know that kind of
[14:01] thing. Now you're going to be saying if
[14:02] it's me, I will leave the house. I will do this.
[14:05] But one thing I've learned in life or from life is that if you
[14:08] ever do you advice go flow your mouth.
[14:11] You will be the wisest *** Go there first.
[14:14] Let's be you. Five they.
[14:16] Did play. Now this one is not all I heard
[14:19] or I read on Twitter or I saw already.
[14:22] I read it, do you? Understand what I'm saying?
[14:25] I saw it. Five Why is it?
[14:27] What? What What?
[14:28] What I did you married which? Married the guy locked all of
[14:31] them in the household at gunpoint.
[14:33] It was gunpoint. I said if you search that my
[14:37] Aung's name now I can't show you guys but I should keep it.
[14:39] The first thing that will come out is is this thing he locked
[14:42] all of them said I do much refunding everything that has
[14:45] paid on each all the children like it was a serious case.
[14:49] I'm telling you crazy, this thing, marriage standard, this
[14:55] one is no whining. He's not whining, whining.
[14:57] He held the five children and the woman at gunpoint for weeks.
[15:02] No food, no water. They were dying.
[15:05] Like bro, he ran mad after he left my dad.
[15:08] That the bro, I'm telling you, he's all he was on newspapers.
[15:13] He was the like they even came to arrest him for this thing
[15:16] because the law does not recognize.
[15:18] You see, Nigeria is a very crazy place.
[15:20] The law does not recognize that shit.
[15:22] You know, the law is recognizing that he was doing manslaughter,
[15:25] but will never recognize what the woman did to cause him or
[15:28] provoke that thing. So it was him that he arrested.
[15:33] So I saw this thing. So imagine like this is just
[15:37] fraternity for some people, their own fear is that like, oh,
[15:42] their wife, we divorced them and carry all their money.
[15:44] Everybody has their own share that kind of people, like, bro,
[15:47] so that's yours. That's my own.
[15:49] Yeah. As they born, they became.
[15:52] I know I will do this, but you know.
[15:54] That on on on Twitter, like I feel like conversations around
[15:57] part times before they're always so, so like it was lying
[16:00] everybody. 'S see any ball or a lot of
[16:03] people just I, I think in our. Generation, a lot of you want to
[16:07] act like they don't see the things that happen and
[16:09] understand why people are afraid of certain things like so like
[16:12] you know that you believe that thing If when you get married
[16:15] and you have you are having your face chat and you say you want
[16:17] to do DNA. I'm like *** like I don't I
[16:22] don't think it is necessarily about that anymore Like this is
[16:27] your own uncle is not like so like some people some people
[16:36] make like certain decisions and people just look at it from the
[16:39] point of view of this person just has self esteem issues or
[16:43] is yeah, like I. Saw these people should be
[16:47] happy. You don't want to find it's not
[16:48] for you to find out where the child is like two days old for
[16:51] you to find out where the child is like 25.
[16:53] Why are you going to do that? Children?
[16:57] There's nothing like that guy now.
[16:58] Probably he probably did what he did because he ran mad.
[17:01] I don't think he was clearly crushing off, especially like in
[17:04] Nigeria's economy man. This probably he like just
[17:07] judging by like how you live, probably send them to the best
[17:10] the I said they they traveled the the guy wasn't so important
[17:13] export like they were very well man.
[17:16] Exactly and he was a very he was Ebo.
[17:19] So he was, he was what I mean, Ebo pronounced.
[17:23] Could you pronounce paradigm? We own a.
[17:27] Uncle, I'm sorry, this is my uncle.
[17:30] I won't say that I'm afraid of getting my I do have my fears
[17:34] that I I definitely want to welcome.
[17:36] I also have necessary afraid like it's that part.
[17:38] I say fraud one is definitely one, but I don't think it's ever
[17:42] going to happen to me because that one is not even going to be
[17:45] one of those hiding sheets. Like I'm going to tell my wife
[17:47] that as soon as that video comes as well.
[17:50] Like, like, it's never going to be.
[17:52] Oh, you know, some people say they're doing a secrets.
[17:54] Yeah. Like there's no secrets in my
[17:57] own opinion. If.
[17:59] There's nothing to like hide like you shouldn't feel any type
[18:02] of In fact, I feel like you should become a procedure in
[18:05] hospitals now. Like remember that Nidu guy, the
[18:07] OAP guy in Nidu of Azubi that the same thing was paternity
[18:12] fraud. Like obviously him, he, he ran
[18:14] like people. Started laughing at because they
[18:16] were like oh he's doing too much move on.
[18:22] My biggest quotes of this 2025 now is if you never do you
[18:26] advice go through your mouth. Man, that guy until you.
[18:29] If you are not in that person issue, I'm not wiser than the
[18:31] person that is experiencing it even.
[18:34] That like our love is week episode when I told that my
[18:37] story and like some people. Like in the comments or even
[18:41] like messaging, like you were more or less saying, Oh, guy,
[18:45] she didn't say I used you were still there.
[18:47] Even you on the episode. You were like, come on, like
[18:49] after I was reflecting and I'm like, bro, I want you to
[18:52] apologize to you off camera, but like on camera, I want to tell
[18:55] you that I'm sorry because like I have no reason to be, you
[18:59] know, dictation how you should have acted because I you know, I
[19:01] know they did. Maybe I would have you carried
[19:05] out to inside your car. I was telling you yesterday,
[19:15] like when we're great now, that The funny thing about
[19:17] relationships is that when you like somebody, both male or
[19:21] female, forget mistakes like logic.
[19:24] Love defies logic most of the time and it defies logic like
[19:28] sometimes you think that your your brain works in setting.
[19:31] We are so locked in. You're so smart, but guy wants
[19:34] to look comes into the picture like he flies out.
[19:37] Bro, there's a show I watch Cobo Jack worse my way.
[19:39] They were like I'm going to miss Kotibi.
[19:42] But it says something along the lines of when you're wearing
[19:45] like red, like your shades is color red.
[19:48] Are you able to see red flags because it just looks like
[19:51] regular flags. Man do I get just for you
[19:53] explanation for you are saying is.
[19:55] You cannot live without being in real, you guys.
[19:58] If you, if you have sense, you will be about this time.
[20:02] Don't forget about marriage. Like you must be stupid.
[20:05] You must be an idiot. Yeah.
[20:07] You must be like just trusting somebody and me.
[20:10] I obviously this is a more serious conversation compares
[20:13] like our previous ones. Like I don't think we're
[20:15] cracking jokes on this one, but like when it just comes like
[20:19] like marriage in general, I would say that my own biggest
[20:23] fear is the paternity for this one thing and is 1 is one piece
[20:28] of the bigger pie. Exactly.
[20:30] Meaning this woman was cheating on this *** I'm probably for a
[20:34] renew. There are different people out
[20:36] there that knew that those were not his kids and they were
[20:39] coming to his house, probably smiling and they fucking you
[20:43] man. Like that is even the same guy
[20:45] that will probably be has the five kids or the I don't know
[20:48] how many, probably one guy or something.
[20:50] Do you know how many those guys that will be?
[20:52] Do you know many people? Listen, this is somebody that
[20:54] we, I even know, you know, people that have found out that
[20:57] their kids are not their own and they still showed out it because
[21:00] of the shame and the shame of society.
[21:03] Big man, you see. I mean like it was.
[21:05] Just show that I'd be like, I as long as nobody knows Imani as a
[21:09] man, you're a man now. So like, you know that like if
[21:12] people don't know he's OK. So you get the moment one person
[21:16] knows. Ah, yeah, everybody, everything,
[21:19] this world, you got that kind of thing.
[21:21] So, you know, many people have showed that I will swallow that
[21:23] pee that like. Is insane.
[21:27] Like I mean me, I look at how the.
[21:29] Guy was costly, not his life for those kids that he wanted to
[21:32] locate the entire family abroad. But why do people do that shit
[21:35] do like I don't get it's like. See, I have one rule, like if
[21:39] you want to cheat, like cheat and one that show your chest,
[21:43] right? Yeah, got me cheat on me cheats.
[21:45] Yeah, cool. But like I feel like there are
[21:47] just some lines that you cross as someone, which is that like,
[21:50] for example, people that transmit STI's to their
[21:53] partners. Like why do you have to make me
[21:56] enjoy that shit? Like I I've heard stories and I
[21:58] know this one. I know this one particularly the
[22:01] guy and the girl. The girl was my friend and the
[22:04] guy cheated on her and gave her this Phillies or one of those.
[22:10] Like get out, get out, get out. Get out.
[22:15] Like give her like. I can't remember the particular
[22:17] thing he gave her like STD, but he gave her like and she was
[22:20] like hard. She has to be treated.
[22:22] Obviously they broke up so she could you get a cocoa and other
[22:25] yeast for Yeah. I'm like, why the hell did you
[22:28] have to celebrate your cheese? Why do you have to go and ruin
[22:32] someone else's life? Yeah, I'm sorry.
[22:42] I'm sorry but. Yeah, man, like I just don't
[22:55] think that you should be put like why you're bringing a child
[22:58] into the world doing fully well, that you are lying to that
[23:02] child. Also that *** is not your dad.
[23:06] Like why? Like why that is?
[23:08] That is a different level of weakness in my opinion, on my
[23:11] and. Yeah, yeah, me, I've said my own
[23:15] the one of cheating your partner cheating, everybody knows that
[23:18] you don't know no cheating in Lagos here or I think I do
[23:23] believe to just not all tactic, you know cheating 'cause like
[23:26] casual like this is a thing now. Like I just want to know that is
[23:31] a thing now. Like I think in Lagos is so
[23:32] normal and people now think is it's not like no mistake people
[23:37] cheat, you know? Like somebody was staying Uber
[23:39] from Ekolodu to Aja for four hours.
[23:43] You have 4 hours to rethink this decision.
[23:45] You stayed in Odub, you bought Gala bought like I said, I
[23:47] bought plantation. You you, you, you, you stop for
[23:51] you stop for chicken wings. You you, you get a hard time to.
[23:57] They still said no, I was cheat. You know the effort that goes
[24:00] into cheating is crazy bro. Jesus Christ, hey.
[24:05] Guy. In this Canada, I know *** that
[24:11] have travelled from this Toronto to fucking Vancouver for for
[24:16] cheating. They no, they no go to anybody
[24:18] airport for you, Sean. Where you did if my?
[24:23] Baby, if my baby call you, you know what?
[24:26] You know what? And I feel like you disagree on
[24:28] this one. Yeah, it's my own part.
[24:31] If you're a cheating *** don't come up making me to be lying to
[24:34] your beef for you. I can't.
[24:37] No, no, I can't understand. I know.
[24:38] You look real *** No, no, it's not real *** See.
[24:41] No, for example, like I can do the little petty lines.
[24:45] Like for for example, where is UZO?
[24:49] I don't say Uzo. Deal with Bib.
[24:52] Oh, I mean, I don't do shut up. This is the.
[24:55] I will give you. I will say.
[24:57] Oh, I don't know. Oh, I spoke to him a couple of
[25:00] hours. He looked like he was like, I
[25:02] know we'll lie, but I know the truth.
[25:04] I'm obviously not going to cast you.
[25:06] And I'll message him. That guy.
[25:07] What did they do you now? Yeah, but not the one that's
[25:10] like you. You you cheat stupidly.
[25:14] You are leaving evidence behind. You're not incriminating me.
[25:18] Making. Me look like a like a bar like
[25:20] me. I know they enjoy the nuts with
[25:22] you, but me I don't enter your Walla, but I mean they call me
[25:25] it's that bro. You guys just charge you that
[25:29] cheating the team. This is our generation man
[25:31] Anyhow, me I have two other fears that I have when you call
[25:35] this one is not necessarily marriage.
[25:36] It's more even like those dates in general.
[25:39] One fear I have now I spoke about my love of my life is
[25:44] married now. Actually, I don't know the ***
[25:46] like who? I can't imagine somebody that I
[25:50] dated or somebody I I was with getting into a relationship with
[25:55] one of my guys as part of my guy DC.
[25:59] But you guys are not together again.
[26:01] Chris, I think you guys need to revise.
[26:05] No revise, need to speak to this bro could be.
[26:08] Now let me be very, let me face you guys.
[26:10] I'm very, very clear. It doesn't matter if I've spoken
[26:14] to this girl when I was in nursery one, primary school,
[26:17] secondary school, university, wherever, even if I spoke to her
[26:21] for two hours, as long as I was there, your eyes should not go
[26:25] there with simple and wait, wait, wait.
[26:27] That is true. That's not true that it should
[26:30] be low. That's not true.
[26:31] That's not true. That's only if you dated now.
[26:34] Like if you Yan DB like talking stage, I cannot because if I Yan
[26:39] B talking stage and it fell, it fell through.
[26:41] You feel like it's right for you to go there.
[26:43] It's not right. I'm just no no.
[26:46] When I say talking stage, I mean as per talking stage, it's not
[26:49] amount to him. He he just went saying you guys
[26:53] don't even see each other like that.
[26:55] And yeah, now like we started yarning like obviously not.
[26:58] To keep you know, I don't care if I like I listen to what I
[27:02] said bro. I don't care if I yarn this baby
[27:04] primary school. That.
[27:06] One is too old that that no, that is pretty.
[27:09] That is pretty No, I don't I'm beyond the primary school 2nd,
[27:13] but I don't care. You know that I was involved
[27:16] with this being no one way or the other.
[27:19] Your eye. Make your eye look good here.
[27:22] There are 7 billion women in this world.
[27:24] But she's not your own. Again, though not my own for
[27:26] primary school. I was there.
[27:28] You can't be doing that, bro. Like they're drinking caprices.
[27:31] Exactly. I know many apology I give them.
[27:33] No, no, I don't want that one. That is being petty.
[27:36] Yeah. No, that one.
[27:37] I don't agree with you. No, no.
[27:38] OK. Don't agree.
[27:39] We can agree to disagree. Please.
[27:40] You guys, What do you think? Do you think is right?
[27:43] Would I be talking stage, situation, shape?
[27:45] Even if you do not get into your relationship, do you think it's
[27:48] OK for your friend to be talking to your failed talking stage or
[27:52] to get in a relationship with a situation with your failed
[27:56] talking stage or your situation, even if it was 10 years ago?
[27:59] It depends. I'm telling you no, me, my own
[28:01] is no. It depends on how we end it.
[28:03] It's not that. Black.
[28:04] I'm not a real guy. Let me let me tell you the one
[28:07] that is bad. This one is happened recently.
[28:11] So they're these two babes. They were my friends.
[28:14] That's at the time, yeah. Now, one of them had a
[28:18] boyfriend, one of them had a boyfriend and like, they were
[28:22] like a public couple now, you know, everybody knew them.
[28:25] Cool vibes. That is how doing COVID, I
[28:28] think. Yeah, it was COVID.
[28:29] We just started to notice that the two friends, the girls, they
[28:33] stopped hanging out together. They know.
[28:35] They post each other on social media again, say with Singapore
[28:38] as a really good brunch again, really good bronze.
[28:40] You know they do all this, you know they know they do vibes
[28:43] again, we know a couple of months have passed.
[28:46] Now notice that if I say the two gears, they don't do battle
[28:51] exchange the battle exchange that demand you don't jump ship
[28:56] as far as dating the other one. Now, first of all, everybody's
[29:00] mind got blown because it's like how did that happen?
[29:03] Like just like me and you, I have a girlfriend and in three
[29:06] months you are dating my girlfriend.
[29:09] I mean you are no guys anymore like it was.
[29:12] I still feel me. But that is, nobody would have
[29:15] stood. What happened?
[29:15] Like what? Did you?
[29:16] What did you bodies alive? Somebody's alive, Like, oh, God,
[29:21] the child understands. This is like she stole him.
[29:24] Is it that he went with you? Is that you give him like,
[29:26] what's happened? Because it did not make any
[29:28] sense. Yeah, Apparently what had
[29:30] happened, this was the girl that had the girlfriend, the
[29:34] boyfriend. They were having issues, right?
[29:36] It was like they were having, like, stumble on the road.
[29:41] I know this big. I don't know, OK, I don't even
[29:45] know them, but yeah, they were having like rough patches and
[29:47] everything. The friend, the girl that
[29:50] started to knock the guy. Now these are best types of best
[29:55] sisters sisters that. Has to knock the guy, then the
[30:00] guy yeah. Now is like say that I don't be
[30:04] with this baby again. I want to be with you.
[30:06] The babe now goes to, you know, let's give them names so that
[30:10] it's easier. So the girl with the with the
[30:12] relationship, let's call her Cindy.
[30:14] Yeah, the friend, let's call her Shalaqui.
[30:17] So Cindy is at work. So Cindy is at work.
[30:23] She's doing her team. And Shalaqui comes to our
[30:26] workplace to tell Cindy that, yeah, I've been lucky on *** and
[30:31] I think we're going to start dating while she was at work.
[30:35] I don't know how that like you said, I don't know.
[30:37] That one did not cause fight, but that was what happened.
[30:40] And then Shollape and the guy started to this like they were
[30:44] publicly public, publicly everywhere.
[30:47] And this is like for those that like we live in a small city so
[30:51] everybody kind of knows. So it was like it was not a
[30:57] private public public and the guy embarrassing the robot
[31:02] probably keep like posting her everywhere they were probably.
[31:06] Post for like. It was like it wasn't more
[31:09] public than the first one. So I was like, Nah, something
[31:11] doesn't make sense here. So me and the and Cindy were not
[31:16] as close. So it's not like I could have
[31:17] asked that what is going on. So I mean, I didn't find my gist
[31:21] from different like from people that were talking to I'm blue
[31:24] guy. They were seeing that like, like
[31:26] he really just did like she went through depression, blah, blah,
[31:29] blah, blah, blah. Like she was in a very dark
[31:31] place. I was like *** like I will have
[31:37] to get my leg back. Like before, I will do I will do
[31:41] my words so go back now to pull your name for you cannot bro
[31:47] like I what now made it sad that made me was happening bad for
[31:51] Cindy was that things that have you watched acrimony?
[31:55] That's a very movie like things that the guy was doing for this
[32:01] one because now he because they were dating like when they were
[32:04] coming out of uni. Now the guy they walk, the guy
[32:07] gave the guy the then they go on trips.
[32:11] I mean that shit like I was feeling bad at last, should I be
[32:16] and guy didn't break up. Wait.
[32:18] What did I think that they were going to live up here after?
[32:20] I think. That was the plan.
[32:21] You lose them. Exactly how you get.
[32:23] Them guys, I think they were thinking that I was going to be
[32:25] what? If what if?
[32:27] They broke up. Oh, yeah.
[32:30] Everybody should face their phones.
[32:32] Yeah. Guess what happened next, for
[32:33] example, I think guess now guess what I will.
[32:36] Oh, you people that listening. Guess what happened next?
[32:40] Shall I play? Go back?
[32:43] Oh shit, shall I get to beg Cindy all?
[32:46] I know. Is that shocker?
[32:47] And Cindy, the army joysticks are the best is the game, I'm
[32:52] sorry to say. But Cindy, whoever you are, I
[32:55] want to tell you categorically that you are you are the biggest
[32:59] fool in North America as it stands.
[33:03] So this girl literally told you I will be your best friend is
[33:07] what she told you. I'll be your best friend.
[33:09] I will take your man. I will fuck your man, and then I
[33:12] will dump your man and then I will come back and you will
[33:14] still take me back. Jesus, what an idiot you are.
[33:17] Jesus. I just want to let you know that
[33:20] I don't know the names. I don't even know what I already
[33:21] seen the boy. If you.
[33:25] Obviously we can't call you an idiot.
[33:30] See like. You know when they say
[33:32] humiliation ritual, I said I die.
[33:35] There are some things that bro, you cannot.
[33:37] I understand. You are confident.
[33:38] I understand that you are like somebody that you don't care.
[33:42] But there are some things that you guys care, bro, you can't.
[33:46] You cannot. There are just something that
[33:47] you cannot lucky let's maybe Who knows whether Cindy is playing
[33:50] the long game when she won't marriage down back.
[33:55] Unless you're doing that too. But if you're not good if your
[33:57] mind actually your you'll be fool guys.
[34:00] I didn't come out. They work again.
[34:02] But how do you when they post each other, they blow.
[34:05] Any time I see them on my social media, my mouth goes just open.
[34:08] All of us that know the story. Yeah, I just like there's no way
[34:12] for there's no fucking. All of this happened in the
[34:14] space of five years as per the initial syndia.
[34:18] Yeah, guy dating, the baton exchange, the public PDA, all of
[34:24] that. Like bro, sometimes some events
[34:26] with all of us. Google so that me and the guy go
[34:29] did the event, Cindy go did there too on the other side of
[34:32] the event. Everyone get you imagine the
[34:35] whole club you didn't want actually look to the other like
[34:39] yeah, what is going on bro? That guy wrote that is a you
[34:45] were you rocked you up, bro, bro and.
[34:48] No, I can't. Feel for the like who?
[34:52] Guy. She took she took her, but
[34:54] there's a level of low self esteem that you must attain to
[34:57] take somebody of that level. Like you cannot trust your
[35:01] boyfriend. You see, it might not even be
[35:04] boyfriend. I will just find something of
[35:06] the same wavelength knock. Knock at that apopsy.
[35:12] That's what I want to do. What would you do?
[35:15] We're not doing anything. You would have to find something
[35:17] like something very mighty to do your own back our.
[35:20] Brother, no, not you know. This brother, all this brother,
[35:24] auntie, cousin, you know they work.
[35:26] Do like something that we touched.
[35:29] How will I put it? Obviously you cannot touch our
[35:31] kids. You guys just do something.
[35:36] Yeah, you have to do something, Cindy.
[35:37] You must do something. Cindy, we're rooting for you.
[35:40] Please. Please.
[35:41] She won the war, but the bottle is no battle.
[35:44] The battle is too great. Yeah.
[35:46] Please. For the sake of for the sake of
[35:48] us. That's why I rooting for you
[35:49] before. Please don't.
[35:50] Don't put us to shame. Now you have.
[35:53] Told me this big. Guy I I can't believe it, but
[35:56] that like going back to what I initially said, yeah, that's one
[35:59] of my fears. Like somebody that I trusted
[36:02] with my with my partner would do something like that to me.
[36:07] See, there are some things that some people do to you.
[36:09] Now you consider prison. I'd like it's not that bad.
[36:12] It's not that bad. Like bro, it's really not that
[36:13] bad. Five years, it's not that bad.
[36:16] I will beat you. I will beat you.
[36:20] You can't stop one or two Blues because what now, I mean.
[36:27] Jesus. Christ friendship friendship is
[36:29] not that deep in there. I'm telling you guys don't watch
[36:32] all those shows where like you everyone did my did my best
[36:36] man's wedding or something like that.
[36:38] I've know what you film, but apparently like the clip that
[36:40] always goes viral is that while the wedding was going on, the
[36:43] guy, the groom was crying. Everyone going to say you groom,
[36:48] they cry because the wedding was getting emotional of our
[36:52] parents. See what had happened a couple
[36:53] of hours before was that he found out his best man and his
[36:56] wife had had like a thing in the past and they were very like
[37:00] they were they dated pretty much and they were very sexual.
[37:02] So essentially. Nobody.
[37:04] Said anything. Nobody said anything.
[37:06] So he found out like a couple leading to the wedding, and now
[37:08] he's at the altar looking at his wife and he's envisioning his
[37:11] best friend. Exactly what I was saying.
[37:16] You think now that I got married to my primary school crush when
[37:20] I was 6, when I was five, and then I'm supposed to be in the
[37:23] grooms lined up and I will not look at you different, I will
[37:26] blow your eye. I do not care.
[37:29] That's why I'm telling you guys. This No, no, no.
[37:31] If if it's for something serious, I agree with you.
[37:34] I agree with you if it's something serious but I mean
[37:36] like if you just like vibes now, no no keep it.
[37:41] There is, there is, there should be bond.
[37:42] I mean, you know how many babes in this life?
[37:44] Why not the one? What's your concern?
[37:46] I like why? I mean guys like that, like why
[37:49] you? I be my own.
[37:51] If you meet a babe that has a boyfriend and she's moving to
[37:55] you, like how do you deal with that?
[37:57] You personality that. Has a boyfriend that I know.
[38:00] Yeah, not that you know, but you know that she has a man if I.
[38:03] Know that she has a man. I I don't think he's he's I
[38:08] don't know because I don't want to don't be I don't want to.
[38:10] I don't want to do to me. So I I'll, I'll pass.
[38:14] Another one that just happened to me recently, Sharp is and
[38:18] this is, this is, this is the audience too.
[38:20] I want to know what you guys think about staying with your
[38:25] friends staying. Friends with your friends eggs.
[38:28] I don't know that you see the exact same rule I just gave now
[38:31] for this issue issue apply because I spoke to this girl
[38:35] when I was five years old. You cannot be friends or behave
[38:38] yourself. I'm very I'm very serious.
[38:40] I'm see this one I'm not laughing I'm dead ass.
[38:43] Why should you be friends with my ex, not my ex relationship my
[38:46] ex talking stage my ex situation ship.
[38:49] You know like that friendship has dilute the moment or not one
[38:52] no longer together. It's so simple.
[38:54] Apparently I found out the hardware recently that some ***
[38:57] don't think that that is a thing.
[38:59] They think that if you so it. Depends, do I feel like if you
[39:03] met if they met her before you? Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
[39:07] I feel like that is the only cop out as far.
[39:09] Yeah, I met like you guys have been friends.
[39:12] We started this thing. I'll just have to hold down one
[39:14] right. But when it is a thing of like I
[39:18] met the baby beside this me and you have been guys before this
[39:21] babe and me and her and she's are you the you see the you see
[39:25] the hang out with her. After they hang out, they go.
[39:32] They go the job. What?
[39:34] Are you eating? You did support our business.
[39:37] What do you need? I know, I know.
[39:39] I know. This one I won't.
[39:41] Talk too much? Yeah, let's.
[39:42] Not let's not let's not talk too much.
[39:46] They do. They support my ex business.
[39:47] He they support my ex business. But you know they follow through
[39:50] very fine. You know the you know the you
[39:53] know the you know the photo I got just for you, You don't
[39:55] comment on I got just for you. You don't comment on Africa
[39:58] verify AV club and cruising out West.
[40:00] We support my ex business, my brother.
[40:05] God for the VCT. He would.
[40:07] He would. He would.
[40:07] Well, that's easy to say. Now it's very unfair.
[40:15] I feel like see everybody see in this life, they don't have any
[40:18] people don't know what they're doing.
[40:19] Everybody's ability to do this. That guy now, he the one you're
[40:22] saying, he's probably when he heard that, like when the BM
[40:25] came to him like this, like me and KP have broken up.
[40:31] They kind of feel they do me slightly.
[40:33] They really they do. The guy he rough me up, the guy
[40:40] he score goals because me, I've learned in the past years, I've
[40:44] learned to just. Understand my friends, I
[40:46] remember I remember the time in my life where I used to do that.
[40:49] I don't block people as far Oh, I wanted to see my success and I
[40:52] wanted to see now my block it down.
[40:55] I block it down. I'll get get out of here, man,
[40:58] like that's something that like it's really like reviews like is
[41:01] very intentional now, like and although sassy, thank you, I
[41:07] sassy die. I will block you exactly because
[41:10] what do you mean? Like not a real?
[41:11] Man, I think that I think about. Yourself oh, that's why we love
[41:15] insecure king insecure thank you.
[41:18] I like you like that. I mean like just going back to
[41:20] like that paternity and all those things man.
[41:22] I feel like everybody, both guys and girls, just need to do
[41:25] things to protect ourselves, but obviously like make sure that
[41:29] you are being the best partner that you can be Me my next beep.
[41:33] I don't talk. We go sign contracts.
[41:36] These are the terms of our relationship.
[41:39] You cheat on me, you go pay me X amount of money.
[41:43] You slap me, you will pay me X amount of money.
[41:47] You break up with me after I don't publicly announce you to
[41:49] the word. You pay me X amount of money.
[41:53] There will be terms. Any.
[41:55] Yeah. This is good on camera.
[41:57] Just so you do. I'm away.
[41:58] No, no, I'm not. I'm not joking.
[42:00] No, I'm. I'm being serious.
[42:02] What do you think I'm looking at all glass make you see my face.
[42:05] My next relation will be the sign contracts.
[42:08] These are the things you do this you do that you pay me money so
[42:12] that like read this close. I said let me go heartbroken but
[42:16] richer. Thank you.
[42:18] That is my own because I know they do all those trust waiting
[42:21] the trust because there's no that there's the other ways here
[42:28] when I can be alone, I'm OK being alone.
[42:30] Are you going to make me do relationship?
[42:32] Oh yeah. Now these are my teams.
[42:34] If you if you if you do if you are dancing Galala on in
[42:38] parties. These are these are the teams
[42:42] that are being like relationships are both hard.
[42:45] What about Amanda $500,000 That'd be fine.
[42:50] Yes, because of how much they pay the people that sang their
[42:54] song. If you're if if if if if your
[42:57] friends I. Feel like they don't like me.
[43:00] You have to cause them off. Why that thing is normal though.
[43:03] Why I don't want to you be friends with your friends
[43:05] because I do you make all your friends get thoughts.
[43:07] No, your your your best friends are the most powerful people in
[43:10] your relationship is not you. That's that's the thing.
[43:13] I cannot be with somebody that does not think for themselves.
[43:16] I cannot be with somebody that every if I fight with you now
[43:19] you don't go meet, don't go now. The fight is meant to be to me
[43:22] and you are fighting several times.
[43:24] I say your friends are more powerful.
[43:25] I cannot be me. I'm telling me from the talk.
[43:27] That's one of the things I asked in the beginning.
[43:30] How do you how is your your conflict resolution?
[43:34] Do you are you one minded? Like do you tell Guan reports to
[43:37] me? I had one girl before that
[43:39] reported me to pastor that I If you know that you are the type
[43:53] that is always problem will happen the next thing you're
[43:57] you're trying to understand exactly why are you also with
[44:02] anybody that is not the leader of their group see.
[44:05] Do you believe this for guys I don't but for beeps I do like
[44:10] math. Like they don't like to admit
[44:11] this Bro I have big friends. Like no matter how much you want
[44:15] to hide it and deny it, I've seen it.
[44:17] I've seen it in multiple friend groups.
[44:19] There's always one or two that called the shorts.
[44:23] They're not going out as a group.
[44:25] If they're not going out, they're not like they kind of
[44:29] everybody won't go toilet. Like it's like football, your
[44:33] peace. It's like football that that you
[44:35] hold it that the central that they dictates the that don't
[44:38] that dictates how we play, like how the group moves as a group.
[44:42] There are some things that you know if you do, if you know, get
[44:45] consult consulting from your group leader.
[44:47] What the fuck? You know it's not a court.
[44:51] A group leader is a red flag. Why you that kind of city?
[44:55] Like why can't you? Just be like, why can't you?
[44:57] I'm describing it. I'm making it sound like it's a
[44:58] court. It's never that deep.
[45:00] I'm just saying that like for example, in in most groups I
[45:03] have seen that there's the follower and then there's the
[45:06] one that is does not follow anybody is autonomy.
[45:09] They are like for example, when they get into a relationship,
[45:11] they don't ask for feedback for their friends.
[45:13] Like they do what they don't like for example with me like I
[45:19] hardly gonna miss my guys and be like what do you guys what do
[45:21] you guys think when is not asking my brain is not working
[45:23] like my baby fight. I know what should I do like.
[45:36] Bro, like what is going on? So like I hate that shit.
[45:38] Like if you know that you you're a group chats, you're a groupie.
[45:43] You don't call you don't call my best friend or my best friend or
[45:48] your best friend, your best friend, your best friend gets
[45:50] sick on top of me and your relationship because they get
[45:54] out. Why would they have?
[45:55] Why should they even have an opinion?
[45:57] We fight, you don't carry you know anything.
[46:00] When you do something good, you know good.
[46:03] Now the bad they hate you. You're not saying I wonder, I
[46:07] wonder why you hate. They go like me before when I
[46:11] miss you. They tell them that hey, when I
[46:13] when I. Buy when I buy rules.
[46:14] You don't tell them that one. When I miss.
[46:19] I just I started that particular group EP of colleague or making
[46:24] or involving your friends in your decision making decision
[46:26] making in your relation. That one.
[46:29] There's no I don't have what they call a sympathy.
[46:33] I don't have. There's no middle ground.
[46:34] If you know you are that kind of person, like I don't think we
[46:37] can work out. You get what I'm saying?
[46:38] Like let's not be let's be one minded.
[46:40] Let's have a mind of our own. There's not be dragging people.
[46:43] If you want to make a dish because you know your heart to
[46:45] heart, you're still good to go back to that man.
[46:47] That's good to go back to. So why you So let's make you
[46:49] quite quite very good. My wife.
[46:52] Is that why you call the table my mouth called muna?
[46:55] Community, community meeting on top.
[46:59] So that's good. Take away 5 things we want our
[47:03] listeners to take away from this episode.
[47:04] You must do DNA test. Do DNA test.
[47:07] Don't. Don't ever let anybody gaslight
[47:09] you, and you are insecure if you do.
[47:12] I know why you I've seen these people.
[47:14] My eyes do that shit bro. One second baby do meow if
[47:19] you're not saying the meow no sound like your own keow.
[47:23] Do you all know do that second thing?
[47:28] Don't date your friends exes, please.
[47:31] In the mighty name of Jesus, please.
[47:33] And they're talking stages and their and their primary school
[47:36] crushes. Let's call.
[47:38] Let's make let's be specific. #3 yes, don't stay friends with
[47:44] your friends exes, please. They're talking stages and.
[47:47] They're primary school crushes. Thanks, I'm very God bless #4
[47:52] when? You're in a relationship know
[47:53] the table your matter with your with your your partner to your
[47:57] full community. If you know you're going back to
[47:59] the person those you talk to your partner.
[48:02] That's why you guys are in the relationship.
[48:04] You can maybe ask one or two people for opinion.
[48:06] Yeah, yeah. And they know Yeah.
[48:08] And they when is that every issue?
[48:10] Everything you Google table no matter abig abig please always
[48:14] the 15. Subscribe to our gadgets Thank
[48:17] you very much Photo I get this for you thank you very much.
[48:20] Like every I get this for you post.
[48:21] Thank you very much. Comment on every I get this for
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[48:34] on audio Mark. Thank you very much support.
[48:36] I get this for you. Tell your friend about it and to
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[48:40] Thank you very much and God bless you.
[48:42] Don't report us to your pastor. Thank you very much.
[48:45] All right, I make UP and I remain.
[48:48] A baggages for you I will love you I'll.
[48:50] Catch you in the next one.

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