# 20 Year Old Conservative - “Women Shouldn’t Vote” | #67

An episode of [The Next Generation](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1772698742), 23 Feb 2026, 1 h 51 min.

Audio: https://anchor.fm/s/107851968/podcast/play/115895189/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-1-23%2F418624104-44100-2-14f67350605f.mp3

Savanna Faith-Stone is a 20 year old TRAD wife and christian conservative influencer, she posts content helping modern women navigate the world. She says she is 'raising the standard for modern women who refuse to conform.' Follow Savanna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/savannafaithstone/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 a Day in the Life of a Tradwife 02:06 What Savanna Sees Women Doing Wrong 03:54 the Female Happiness Paradox 05:09 “The Feminist Movement Has Completely Failed” 06:54 Are Men Expendable? 08:28 Does Christianity Give Men and Women Equality? 11:34 I Don’t Want a Tradwife 12:12 Did Christianity Give Women Equality? 14:26 Was the Feminist Movement a Propaganda Plan? 19:49 How to Solve the Fertility Crisis Without Encroaching on Women’s Freedom 25:40 What Is the Strongest Argument Against Having Kids? 28:08 Politics Is for Losers 39:30 Should Men Take the Lead? 44:07 the Death of Beauty 52:32 Why Should You Dress Up for Your Partner? 55:40 Why Savanna Got Married at 18 1:04:18 Advice for Finding Love in the Modern Dating Market 1:06:07 Should Christians Date Non Christians? 1:08:44 When Should You Tell a Potential Partner What Your Body Count Is? 1:13:28 the Biggest Issue With Gen Z 1:16:19 How We Get Back to Better Communication Skills 1:22:08 How to Stay Present in the Modern World 1:23:52 Surrender 1:27:30 Savanna’s Experience Debating Feminists 1:28:55 What Was the Last Thing You Changed Your Mind On? 1:30:17 Why Onlyfans Is Popping Off 1:31:20 Advice to a 35 Year Old Unmarried Woman 1:41:32 Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? 1:48:14 Should You Go On Girls or Boys Trips? Subscribe to my Substack to support the show and join the community! https://elliotbewick.substack.com/ My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elliotbewick/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@elliotbewick X: https://x.com/elliotbewick ABOUT THE NEXT GENERATION: In a world saturated by social media and marked by skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and ADHD among Gen Z, young people are growing up in a landscape of chaos and contradiction. While protests swell in city streets and activists hurl soup at famous artworks to demand climate action, a quieter crisis unfolds within - the mental and emotional battles faced by a generation trying to make sense of it all. The Next Generation is hosted by 20-year-old Elliot Bewick, offering a raw and honest look at the world through the eyes of those living in it. Bringing together insight from professionals and young people on the ground, this podcast isn’t here to complain or chase clout. It’s here to bend the arc of the modern world towards solutions, truth and a love for the beautiful adventure of life itself.

## Transcript

[0:00] It's fan of Faith Stone. Welcome to the next generation.
[0:02] Thank you for having me. What does a day in the life of a
[0:05] trad wife look like? To me, my family, meeting my
[0:08] husband right now is my number one priority.
[0:10] I'm waking up super early. I'm usually making breakfast for
[0:13] him before he goes to work. I'm going to the gym, working on
[0:16] myself, taking care of our two dogs that we have.
[0:18] And then obviously I'm filming content throughout the day,
[0:21] doing calls with my community. And then towards the end of the
[0:24] day I'm cooking dinner for my husband and we just spend the
[0:27] rest of the evening together. I want us to break this down
[0:29] step by step, starting with waking up in the morning and how
[0:32] your behaviour would differ to perhaps other modern women
[0:35] typically. So take me through it.
[0:37] You wake up. What comes next?
[0:39] Yeah, I wake up pretty early, anywhere from like 5:00 to 6:30
[0:42] AM. And what I really love about
[0:45] what I do, being social media and having a very flexible
[0:48] lifestyle, is I have my mornings to myself and that's my sacred
[0:51] time. So I wake up, make a coffee,
[0:53] grab my Bible, my journal, do a Bible study.
[0:56] I'll read for like 30 minutes to an hour, which I really, really
[1:00] enjoy. Take the dogs for a walk, get
[1:02] some movement in, come back, get ready for the gym, go to the gym
[1:07] and that's anywhere from like 5:00 to 10:00 AM.
[1:10] So I have nowhere to be, which is amazing because I can just
[1:13] control my own schedule. So I come back home, I'll get
[1:15] ready for the day, hop on some calls with the girls in my
[1:18] community, film some content and then you know, by the end of the
[1:22] day, I am still, I'm not exhausted.
[1:25] I have energy. My husband comes home.
[1:27] He comes home to peace and not an exhausted wife, which is a
[1:30] huge benefit to him because I truly believe that men need
[1:34] peace more than anything in the home.
[1:36] And if they're coming home to a woman who is so exhausted by her
[1:40] career or working from 9:00 to 5:00 or she hates her career,
[1:44] then he's going to come home to a wife who is not happy.
[1:48] And I think that's so important for men to come home to a very
[1:51] joyful, peaceful wife. And so once he gets home, dinner
[1:55] is usually ready and we have dinner together and just enjoy
[1:58] our evenings. Would you see the ladies in your
[2:01] community doing wrong that makes them come home exhausted and
[2:05] perhaps not be living their life to the fullest?
[2:08] Many of them are working in a career that they just absolutely
[2:11] hate, but they don't see an out. So whether it's financial
[2:15] restraints or they just don't want to take the risk to doing
[2:18] something different. And many of these women
[2:20] actually, their husbands can provide for them, but they have
[2:24] this mindset that they always need to be working in order to
[2:28] be independent from their husbands.
[2:29] So a lot of what I do is reframing that and saying if
[2:33] you're going to be happier staying home and letting your
[2:35] husband provide for you, and isn't that worth leaving this
[2:38] career? Why would you work a career just
[2:40] out of fear of something happening?
[2:43] Because if you're working out of fear, then you're never going to
[2:46] enjoy it. And I have to ask the obvious
[2:48] question here. Why is it that you shouldn't be
[2:51] out working and coming home exhausted just as your husband
[2:55] is? Why is it the fact that it's
[2:57] your husband's duty to come home exhausted and not both of you?
[3:01] Men get so much fulfillment from providing for their families and
[3:05] women get more fulfillment from nurturing their families.
[3:09] And so my husband would do absolutely anything to provide
[3:13] for me, to provide for our future children.
[3:15] And that's where he gets that fulfillment.
[3:17] And if he can't provide, then he loses that sort of fulfillment
[3:21] that he gets from his work. So another thing is too is men
[3:25] operate on a completely different hormonal cycle than
[3:28] women. Like women's cycle, we change,
[3:30] our moods change every single week, our energy changes every
[3:32] single week. Your guys's hormonal cycle
[3:35] renews every 24 hours. So I don't think men come home
[3:38] as exhausting all the time as women, and a lot of times
[3:41] they're getting that fulfillment and the joy from their career,
[3:44] so they're not coming home so miserable from what they're
[3:47] doing. I think a good way of
[3:49] articulating this perhaps is looking into the female
[3:52] happiness paradox. What is the female happiness
[3:55] paradox? So it shows that as women we
[3:58] have more freedom and choice than ever, but we're unhappier
[4:01] than ever. So as women's freedom has
[4:04] increased, our happiness has decreased, which is really
[4:08] interesting because you would think that the feminist
[4:10] movement, its whole goal would be to make women happier, but
[4:14] what we're seeing is women are actually more depressed than
[4:16] ever. It's interesting because you'd
[4:20] want women to be happier, but I guess that's not the goal of
[4:23] feminism. The goal was equality, and I
[4:27] think that was a huge success. Women did get equality, and
[4:30] perhaps now what we're doing is we're mixing up equality and
[4:33] sameness. We're in the pursuit of
[4:35] equality, thinking that both of the sexes are the same, which
[4:39] they aren't. And I agree with a lot of the
[4:41] stuff you speak, but I also disagree with a lot of it.
[4:44] But I wonder if that cost of being slightly more exhausted
[4:48] for women is worth it in this pursuit of equality that has now
[4:51] been achieved. Or do you think it's gone too
[4:54] far? Do we need to pull back on the
[4:56] equality? Like, how do you solve it?
[4:59] Is it through social norms of pulling back to the traditional
[5:02] lifestyle? How do you make women happier
[5:04] again? I think the feminist movement
[5:07] has completely failed and I don't know why they're
[5:09] continuing to keep going because we have the same rights as men.
[5:14] So I'm confused when I'm debating these women.
[5:16] Like, what? What are you fighting for?
[5:18] You have all the rights that you could ever need.
[5:20] You can do anything you want. What do they say?
[5:23] They say that capitalism is why they can't do what they want to
[5:27] do, which doesn't make any sense because it's the reason that
[5:29] they could go be a millionaire or start a business.
[5:32] But they blame the patriarchy for every single thing that is
[5:36] wrong in their lives, and they blame capitalism for it, which
[5:38] is really interesting. But I don't think that it's, you
[5:41] know, you know, we're not even equal if you really think about
[5:44] it, Like women will never be drafted.
[5:47] And if feminism, feminists won't sit there and fight for women to
[5:50] be drafted. And if they do, they're lying to
[5:52] themselves because they don't want that.
[5:54] So if we really think about it, men and women are actually not
[5:57] equal. Women have no duty to society.
[6:00] They have no obligation. So again, I don't really know
[6:03] what we're fighting for if we have everything that men have.
[6:07] I wonder if this pursuit of equality, now, it's actually
[6:13] backfired massively and it's kind of reversed what was
[6:18] inherently a wrong society in the 1st place, but now it's
[6:21] overcorrected in the other direction.
[6:23] And I actually question if before society was more sexist
[6:28] towards men in certain ways that we wouldn't even realize.
[6:32] Like Doctor Warren Farrell speaks about this, the idea of
[6:35] the male self worth paradox where men learn to value
[6:39] themselves by devaluing themselves by being expendable.
[6:42] They go to war, they do all the most dangerous jobs.
[6:45] So something I haven't actually seen people probe you on in your
[6:48] world view. They always speak about the
[6:50] stuff to do with women, which is important, but I wonder what the
[6:53] piece is on men here for the traditional worldview, if
[6:57] actually to take this in a different direction to usual.
[7:01] The traditional worldview is unfair on men in many ways too,
[7:05] because you're expecting them to do the most dangerous jobs in
[7:08] abundance, and you're kind of treating their lives as more
[7:11] expendable. Yeah, because men are naturally
[7:19] very sacrificial. And if we're speaking about a
[7:22] marriage, they have sacrificial love for their wives.
[7:25] Just as Christ lay down his life for the Church, a husband is to
[7:28] lay down his life for his wife. And so a good man will do
[7:33] anything that he can do to provide for his family because
[7:37] it's a sacrificial love. And I believe that women are to
[7:41] be a protected class, which is why I don't believe that we
[7:44] should ever be drafted, which is why I don't believe that we're
[7:47] equal to men. We're extremely different, but.
[7:49] Why should they be a protected class?
[7:51] We're the more fragile being, we're the weaker vessel and we
[7:55] produce life. And so without women, there's
[7:59] not going to be any life created.
[8:02] So that's why I believe that. But in this pursuit of equality,
[8:07] we've also gotten confused. Well, what even is a woman?
[8:11] Nobody can even answer that question.
[8:13] So if you're fighting for women's equality, but you're
[8:16] letting men into our bathrooms, are you really fighting for our
[8:19] protection and peace? Or are you just wanting everyone
[8:23] to be the exact same? Talk to me about this equality
[8:27] piece. I find it so fascinating,
[8:28] especially if we're thinking morally here.
[8:30] With your Christian worldview, you would think on the surface
[8:34] that Christianity is what is what has bestowed the West with
[8:38] this idea of human life being sacred, that we are all equal as
[8:42] humans. So how do you pass that out?
[8:45] That delineation between all humans being equal in your world
[8:49] view, yet men and women not being equal.
[8:53] Well, when I'm Speaking of men and women not being equal, I
[8:55] mean equal as in sameness. Because what we're fighting for
[8:58] now, what a lot of feminists are fighting for now, is still for
[9:01] men and women to be equal. But what they're actually
[9:03] fighting for is sameness. But we're equal in value,
[9:06] obviously, but we're not equal in role.
[9:09] We're not equal in characteristics and traits.
[9:11] And we need to be honest about that instead of fighting and
[9:14] saying no, women can do everything that men can do and
[9:18] they should be in the same positions and making the same
[9:20] decisions. I don't agree with that at all.
[9:22] This might sound like a really stupid question, but it's fun
[9:25] coming at this is like an agnostic atheist.
[9:27] We spoke about this last night at dinner with Noah as well.
[9:30] And Chris, what is it in the Christian worldview that
[9:33] actually it makes people equal if we're all so different?
[9:38] Well, we're equal in value because we're all children of
[9:40] God and He created us in his image.
[9:42] So every single person has the same amount of value in God's
[9:46] eyes, but we're not the same. We're equal in that value, but
[9:51] everyone has different unique characteristics and traits and
[9:54] things that they bring to the table.
[9:55] And when we're Speaking of men and women, like God has given
[9:58] men a very divine purpose and women a very divine purpose, and
[10:01] that's very clear. I think the difficulty is we're
[10:04] living in a secular world now where the death of religion has
[10:07] been abundant in the last century, I would say.
[10:10] And there's a slight Christian revival in pockets of America in
[10:13] the UK, and I quibble with how big that revival actually is,
[10:17] but there are certain part parts of the West where people are
[10:20] returning to the pews. I wonder if the problem here is
[10:24] that with the death of religion, you don't have this God top down
[10:28] that gives you all equality, right?
[10:31] So the only way to get equality is through sameness.
[10:35] That's perhaps the mistake that's being made, is we want
[10:38] people to have equality, but we don't have any philosophical way
[10:43] of actually giving it to them without God.
[10:45] So inevitably in the pursuit of equality without God, you're
[10:50] always going to end up drifting towards sameness.
[10:53] And that comes with certain ramifications, like ignoring the
[10:56] key differences between men and women.
[10:58] Yeah, exactly, because if you don't have God as that
[11:01] foundation, then you don't understand why he created men
[11:04] and women differently. And I'll add that we're living
[11:07] in a society that does not value human life.
[11:09] We've killed a billion babies from Gen.
[11:12] Z and since Roe V Wade was put into place.
[11:15] A third of our generation. Bought it.
[11:18] Yeah. So we don't value human life.
[11:19] We call them fetuses and say that it's not actually a human.
[11:23] And I again, that is because we've gone so far from Christ
[11:27] that we don't even see a child in the womb as a human being.
[11:31] What do I do? I don't believe in God, so I
[11:34] struggle with this worldview and holding it.
[11:37] I guess perhaps you would say I'm drifting too far towards
[11:41] sameness when I want a wife that does go out and work.
[11:45] We were joking yesterday about how I want a boss bitch trad
[11:48] wife. I kind of want the best of all
[11:50] worlds. And the thing that I struggle
[11:51] with is that I feel like this trad worldview, on the surface,
[11:56] at least when you're not unpacking the nuance, it can
[11:59] seem very patronizing towards women and taking them backwards
[12:02] and repealing their rights rather than giving them the
[12:05] things that they want to do. So what do I do?
[12:09] Well, women have had rights far before feminism.
[12:12] There's just a lot of lies around the movement.
[12:14] Women have always been working, but they were working very
[12:17] family focused careers like agriculture and farming and
[12:20] making things from the home. I don't think there's anything
[12:23] wrong with a woman working, but what's happened is the
[12:25] priorities have shifted to where women make their career the end
[12:28] all be all and ignore family and their husbands because of that.
[12:32] But they couldn't do whatever job they wanted, and they also
[12:34] couldn't vote, and they also couldn't own land.
[12:36] They can own property and the husband would be able to divorce
[12:39] them. They wouldn't be able to divorce
[12:41] their husband. Yeah, but the Christians fought
[12:42] for those rights, not feminism. It was the Christians, those
[12:46] Christian men who fought for their right to vote, not
[12:49] feminism. It was a very, very small
[12:51] percentage of these feminists that were actually fighting for
[12:55] the right to vote. And most women didn't even want
[12:57] the right to vote. Only 4% of women actually wanted
[13:01] the right to vote. They had this very long list.
[13:04] The anti suffragettes had a list of why they actually didn't want
[13:07] to vote. And the reasons are, you know,
[13:09] they're very good reasons. It's a very long list.
[13:11] And one of them is that it's going to break apart marriages.
[13:15] And look what's happened. Like marriage, marriages fall
[13:18] apart all the time. The divorce rate is extremely
[13:20] high. And so I think when we look back
[13:23] at history and realize that it wasn't this small group of
[13:27] radical feminists that gave us these rights.
[13:29] It was actually the Christians that were fighting for equality
[13:33] because they believed that men and women are equal in value,
[13:36] therefore should have the same rights.
[13:37] I'm curious to hear about the Christians that gave these
[13:41] rights to women. When was this?
[13:43] Who was it? How did this go down?
[13:45] So during the Protestant Reformation, so the Christian
[13:48] men that would now be referred to as the patriarchy, which is
[13:52] just a paternal protection. We're fighting for the women in
[13:56] their lives, their wives, their daughters, their mothers in
[13:59] order to give them equality. But when we talk about people
[14:02] like Gloria Steinem, I mean, she was hired by the CEACIA right
[14:06] out of college and then went into the feminist movement.
[14:10] So it's like, why are why are you working for the CIA and how
[14:14] did you become this radical feminist overnight after getting
[14:17] out of college? And when you really go down the
[14:18] rabbit hole, you find that the feminist movement was an
[14:24] emotional propaganda movement in order to make women turn against
[14:29] their husbands and turn against their families to have this fake
[14:32] empowerment where they can do whatever they want and be
[14:35] whatever they want. But really, in turn, what it's
[14:37] done is it's killed babies in the womb, it's destroyed
[14:42] marriages, the birth rates have gone down tremendously, and it's
[14:45] made women feel like in order to be empowered, they have to be
[14:50] the exact same as men. Who benefits?
[14:55] You know, I don't think anyone benefits from feminism.
[14:57] I don't think men do. I don't think women do.
[15:00] And when we're talking about men in particular, the feminist
[15:04] movement for the longest time has called masculinity toxic.
[15:08] Which if you're told all the time how toxic your masculinity
[15:11] is and that aggression is always bad and that it's bad to work
[15:16] super hard for your family because you need balance in
[15:18] life, then obviously men are going to step away from their
[15:22] natural instincts as men. And for women, that we live in a
[15:26] very anti Natal society because of feminism.
[15:30] And so women are being pushed away from the natural things
[15:32] that they want to do, like get married and have children and
[15:35] take care of children. Do you think the Bible
[15:37] contradicts true equality between sexes?
[15:40] No, absolutely not. There's so many verses about how
[15:46] God knew every single one of us in our womb.
[15:48] He knows the number of hairs on our head.
[15:50] He created us in His image, and so the Bible very clearly lays
[15:56] out our purposes as men and women, but it most definitely
[16:01] does not change our value. It's very clear about the value
[16:05] that we have as human beings. Because when I, when I look at
[16:08] the arc of history, I see Christianity on the rise in the
[16:12] last 2000 years and the feminist movement that counters, I would
[16:17] say a lot of the beliefs of Christianity.
[16:20] It comes out of secularization. When religion dies, you suddenly
[16:25] get this empowerment of women and you get their rights.
[16:28] They're able to vote. So I just, I don't know how true
[16:32] it is that it were, was Christians that helped actually
[16:36] brings equality in place. Because the question would be
[16:39] then where were they the 2000 years before that?
[16:43] Then why didn't it come sooner that equality?
[16:46] Why did it take 2000 years and the perfect coinciding with the
[16:51] death of Christianity, actually less to reach equality and more
[16:55] votes and rights for women? 2000 years from when exactly?
[17:01] From Jesus. I think Christians have been
[17:04] fighting for equality as long as we've been alive because they
[17:08] know the value in human life. And even now Christians are
[17:12] fighting for the unborn because the unborn have no value in our
[17:16] society. They're not seen as a human
[17:17] being. What about all the women that
[17:20] were aborted? What?
[17:22] Where's their rights? You didn't give them the right
[17:23] to life and everyone. But that's not a female issue.
[17:26] That's men and women being aborted.
[17:28] Right, of course. But in general I'm saying that
[17:31] Christians have forever fighted, fought for our value as human
[17:35] beings. And so if you you can, this is
[17:39] actually on Google. You can Google this, but most
[17:41] feminists don't do their research.
[17:43] You can read this in many of the feminist writings.
[17:46] All of them were against Christianity because
[17:48] Christianity positions the patriarchy.
[17:51] It's a very patriarchal religion with God the Father, right?
[17:54] But patriarchy has always been a paternal protection.
[17:58] But they were always against Christianity because it's a
[18:01] patriarchal, patriarchal religion.
[18:03] Even though Christians were the ones fighting for our value and
[18:07] fighting for our rights. And what's really interesting is
[18:10] if you read a lot of the early feminist history, it is all
[18:14] rooted in witchcraft. It has always been very anti
[18:18] Christian and these feminists looked up to goddesses such as
[18:23] many of the the Dianic Wicca goddesses who would wear aborted
[18:28] fetuses as earrings and be very domineering over men.
[18:33] They would kill their husbands and then go sleep with more men.
[18:38] And so when you look at those sorts of things and how feminism
[18:40] is rooted in witchcraft, you can see that it's always been anti
[18:43] Christian. It's never been for women and
[18:45] for their rights and their value.
[18:47] It's always been a poison to our society.
[18:50] What's your opinion on the Suffragettes?
[18:54] I think they were very, very small group of women.
[18:58] And like I said, there's more anti suffragettes than there was
[19:01] suffragettes. And so, you know, there could be
[19:06] some CIA funding in there like there was with Gloria Steinem.
[19:09] Because it doesn't make sense how such a small group of
[19:14] radical revolutionaries can make such a big difference and have
[19:18] the biggest political sweeping movement across America in such
[19:22] a short amount of time. It doesn't make sense when you
[19:24] really think about it. Because most women were
[19:26] completely against it. They didn't want it.
[19:29] So how did this super small group of women accomplish all
[19:32] those things by themselves? One of the things I'm fascinated
[19:35] with is our declining birth rates and people can take a
[19:38] drink at home because I'm mentioning the declining birth
[19:41] rates as usual and I'm going to get you're going to get clipped.
[19:44] A misogynist for this. Yeah, dire of a misogynist.
[19:47] But it's interesting, especially in a conversation with you.
[19:49] You're the perfect person to speak to about this because I
[19:53] think your world view lends itself to the opposite of
[19:56] declining birth rates. It's putting family first,
[19:58] right? And what we've seen is this big
[20:00] turn away from that where I think the birth rate, the total
[20:03] fertility rate in the UK, it's like 1.41 now, which is so low.
[20:08] Like our birth rates are plummeting.
[20:10] Or at least. For the native population,
[20:12] there's a lot of debate around what you do.
[20:14] Do you bring in more people via immigration to replace workers
[20:19] in cheaper jobs? Well, that's not really fair
[20:20] because you're getting immigrants to do the lowest paid
[20:24] jobs. So they're virtue signalling and
[20:26] saying, well we're going to open our borders up and welcome these
[20:29] people in. It's like, well, you're being
[20:31] quite cruel by giving them the worst jobs that no one else can
[20:35] do, so that's not a solution. Another thing that gets pitched
[20:39] is that women do need to step away from prioritizing their
[20:44] careers, going to university and getting degrees.
[20:46] But to me, that doesn't seem fair either, because then you're
[20:50] stopping women from doing what they truly want to do.
[20:53] And I know that you might raise questions about whether that's
[20:56] what they truly would want to do deep down, but I think a lot of
[21:00] them would still want to get at least a degree and do some form
[21:04] of job outside the home. So how do you go about, with a
[21:08] trad worldview, solving this fertility crisis without
[21:12] overstepping the mark on women's equality?
[21:16] I don't think the pursuit of a career is why women aren't
[21:18] having children. I think it's the messaging in
[21:20] our society. It's a very antinatal society.
[21:24] I just saw a TikTok that went very viral the other day of this
[21:27] woman saying that she has to unfollow all the influencers who
[21:32] are getting engaged, married and having babies because she's not
[21:35] in that season of life. Like, OK, fair, whatever.
[21:38] And then I go to the comments and the top comment is someone
[21:42] saying, well, I'm, you know, I had to unfollow this really big
[21:45] influencer after she announced her baby.
[21:48] And the creator responds back and says, yeah, that's super
[21:52] selfish to have kids in this day and age.
[21:54] I can't believe women are having kids.
[21:55] How selfish, like you're bringing them into this world.
[21:58] And what about climate change? And I'm like, the reason you're
[22:02] not having kids is because of, of climate change.
[22:04] You're worried about climate. It just snowed in Florida two
[22:07] weeks ago. I, I think the globe, I think
[22:09] we're past the global warming situation.
[22:12] And so it's like, where are you getting these ideas?
[22:15] Is it because you scroll too much on TikTok and Instagram and
[22:18] you're being fed left wing propaganda?
[22:21] I don't know. I don't think it's the pursuit
[22:23] of a career because women have been pursuing careers for a very
[22:25] long time. But it's the idea that kids are
[22:29] not necessary for your happiness and kids actually just ruin
[22:32] everything. And you should be terrified to
[22:35] have a a child in today's day and age because society is just
[22:38] getting progressively worse. So I think it's more so the
[22:41] messaging that women are receiving and not what their
[22:44] actions are and what they're pursuing.
[22:46] Do you think it's a left wing idea, this declining birth?
[22:49] Rate How come the left has always been anti family?
[22:53] I mean I can just speak from my comments.
[22:55] It's always radical leftist and feminist commenting about
[22:59] marriage and children and how it's super selfish to bring
[23:03] children into the world in today's day and age.
[23:06] And as I mean as well, the left has always been pro whatever you
[23:14] want, even if it's detrimental to society, meaning men and
[23:20] women's bathrooms or men and women's sports or, you know,
[23:26] marriage. It can be between two women and
[23:29] two men and it's totally fine. And it's contributed to the
[23:32] decay of our society, all of it. I just wonder if you need to
[23:36] separate out separate out left wing ideology versus kind of
[23:41] this radical progressivism that we've now seen where I would
[23:44] agree that it does lean towards pursuing whatever feels good for
[23:48] you. If you look at something like
[23:50] Soviet Russia or Communist China, I wouldn't say they were
[23:54] as anti family. I'd say that they, ironically
[23:58] enough, they were the first countries and and sort of
[24:01] societies that brought more rights to women and promoted
[24:05] certain families, specifically increasing the birth rates
[24:09] because they wanted more workers.
[24:11] And so I don't think it's necessarily a left wing thing
[24:15] that the funny kind of thing looking back at history is the
[24:18] communist authoritarian states. They had the power to give more
[24:23] reward to women for having kids and they ended up boosting their
[24:27] birth rates and they were more family oriented because they
[24:31] knew that it benefited their societies.
[24:33] Now, they were awful regimes. And I'm not saying we should go
[24:35] back to Soviet Russia now is China.
[24:38] But the point is, I wonder how much it's left wing ideals and
[24:43] how much it's more this endless pursuit of hedonism and
[24:47] following your intuition and your emotion over anything else.
[24:50] Well, I would say the left wing is very individualistic.
[24:53] And when I say left wing, I mean like radical aggressivism.
[24:58] It's a very end of individualistic.
[24:59] It's very focused on my happiness and what I want and
[25:03] not thinking about the good of society or the good of anyone
[25:06] else. And so I can just do whatever I
[25:08] want as long as I'm not hurting anyone.
[25:11] But with that comes the messaging of, well, it's selfish
[25:15] to have children. How is it selfish for me to have
[25:19] children? But it's not selfish for you to
[25:20] do whatever you want in society and not contribute anything to
[25:25] it. And I think that is coming from
[25:27] the left wing because it is such an individualistic ideology.
[25:31] I think it's completely coming from the left now, and I don't
[25:34] think it's because they're left wing, but because they align
[25:36] themselves with that individualism now.
[25:40] What's their strongest argument do you think, for it being
[25:42] selfish to have kids? I'm intrigued if we can maybe
[25:45] steel man their worldview. That doesn't make any sense for
[25:47] a moment. I don't know because we, you
[25:51] know, they even talk about the overpopulation and that's just
[25:55] complete BS. I just drove through Texas and
[25:57] New Mexico and it's completely, there's no one there for 500
[26:01] miles. So what do you mean we're
[26:02] overpopulated? I could see the financial
[26:05] argument, but even then, if someone is financially well off
[26:09] to have children, well then that's their income.
[26:11] Those are their kids. So, you know, I don't really see
[26:15] an argument for it. I don't understand how it's
[26:17] selfish to have children. Let me talk to you about Jamie
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[28:00] off. We've been speaking quite
[28:02] broadly about society here. I wonder how politics plays into
[28:06] the mix in fixing all of these problems.
[28:09] You've said before if you're super focused on politics,
[28:11] you're probably a loser. What do you mean by that?
[28:15] I mean that the people who watch the news all day everyday and
[28:19] are super anxious and worried about everything.
[28:21] And Trump said this and she said that, and I can't believe that
[28:26] they're doing this and that's all you're talking about and
[28:29] you're cutting off your friends and your family members because
[28:31] they don't agree with you politically.
[28:34] Then you're probably a loser. You probably have nothing going
[28:36] for you because the people that are focused on their own lives
[28:39] and they're building their own lives and their wealth and their
[28:41] families, they don't care what someone else's political views
[28:44] are. They don't care what's going on
[28:47] in the government. They don't care.
[28:49] All all the distractions that are happening out there are
[28:52] designed to make people not focused on their own lives so
[28:56] that they can just become machines of the government.
[28:59] It's funny, isn't it? When you analyze this hyper
[29:02] individualistic society that we've now created, It's always
[29:05] me, me, me. It's always the selfish
[29:07] prioritization of you above anyone else.
[29:10] You can't actually look and put someone else for your own needs.
[29:15] But then when it comes to putting the blame finger, it
[29:18] never lands on you, it lands on someone else.
[29:21] There's this external locus of control where everything's about
[29:25] me, but nothing's my fault. It's a victim mindset.
[29:31] We lack accountability so much in this society.
[29:33] Specifically, women lack accountability.
[29:35] What do you mean? They blame everything on men or
[29:39] their childhood or the trauma that they've had or, you know,
[29:43] even if if something's wrong in their marriage and it's very
[29:46] clearly mostly their fault, they won't take accountability for
[29:49] it. I see it all the time in
[29:50] relationships. And so you're right.
[29:53] We, we have this individualistic society where everything's about
[29:56] me until something is actually my responsibility or something's
[29:59] actually my fault and it went wrong.
[30:01] And if everything is about you, well, then everything is also
[30:04] your fault that you're doing. And if you can adopt that
[30:07] everything is my fault mentality, then you're going to
[30:10] be unstoppable. Because if you're constantly
[30:12] blaming your problems, everything that's happened to
[30:15] you on somebody else, well, you're never taking
[30:17] responsibility for your own life.
[30:18] So how can you expect to do anything that you want to do in
[30:21] life or or be happy or have the things that you want to have, if
[30:26] every time something that is your responsibility gets
[30:29] deflected onto someone else? It's a classic Alex Hormozi
[30:32] line. Power follows the blame finger.
[30:34] I think it's so valid. Who do you want to give the
[30:36] power to? If you want to give it away to
[30:38] someone else, then do that. That's fine.
[30:41] You can say that it's not your fault, but nothing will ever be
[30:43] in your control. You're always forever at the
[30:46] mercy of the other person and what they're doing.
[30:50] That's a pretty depressing life. I don't want to live that life.
[30:52] That sounds like hell to me. Not ever having agency, not ever
[30:57] having this internal locus of control where you can feel proud
[31:02] that you did something and you overcame the hardship by
[31:06] yourself. Because the thing about the
[31:09] power following the blame finger is it's great when you're
[31:12] deflecting something that you've done wrong, but it also means
[31:15] that you can never feel any joy for the success that you achieve
[31:18] because it's always thanks to someone else.
[31:21] You haven't ever done anything yourself.
[31:24] Yeah, if you can blame yourself for the things that go wrong,
[31:27] well, then you can celebrate yourself when things go right.
[31:31] And my husband says this all the time.
[31:33] Everything is my fault. Like he just uses that phrase.
[31:36] And even if it actually is something that someone else did,
[31:40] he always blames himself and takes responsibility for it.
[31:43] This is radical responsibility, but I see that in every area of
[31:47] his life. It's not just when things go
[31:49] wrong, it's also when things go right.
[31:51] Because whenever, when things do go wrong, he's taking that
[31:54] responsibility and accountability for it, no matter
[31:56] what. I see that as a big theme,
[31:58] especially in conservatism as of late.
[32:01] You get movements like the ARC, which is Jordan Peterson's
[32:04] establishment, it's the Alliance for Responsible Citizenship, and
[32:08] he's trying to spearhead this conservative movement that's
[32:11] going to save Western civilization.
[32:13] And the keyword there in the title is responsible citizens.
[32:18] So there's this big prioritization of finding the
[32:22] biggest burden that you can carry and carrying it.
[32:25] That's a conservative kind of ideal, I think.
[32:28] And what I'm keen to hear about is how you can balance doing
[32:31] that, which will make you very fulfilled, with also getting the
[32:35] right combination of doing some stuff that you enjoy that's
[32:38] perhaps more left wing, right. It feels like there's kind of a
[32:42] golden mean, a middle point here where sometimes conservatives
[32:46] can get carried away and they are just these boring 20 year
[32:50] olds. We're both 20.
[32:51] They're like 20 years old. They're a young guy and they
[32:54] dress up in a tweed jacket every day.
[32:56] And they don't speak to any women because they're saving
[32:58] themselves for marriage, which is respectable, but they're not
[33:01] even speaking to any women at all.
[33:03] They're never going to get married because instead they
[33:05] choose to be a bookworm and they wear a monocle because it's part
[33:08] of the Christian performance, right?
[33:10] Or whatever it may be. So how do you balance
[33:14] responsibility with also actually living your life?
[33:19] I think you can do both. I don't think that it's one or
[33:22] the other. And again, I think both.
[33:24] I'm kind of, I'm sort of a moderate.
[33:26] I would say I may have more right leaning views, but I
[33:30] disagree with both sides and I disagree with how far one side
[33:33] goes and how far the other side goes.
[33:35] And so I think that it's very easy to create a life that you
[33:40] love when you're doing something that you love and you can fit
[33:43] those things into your life. Now, if you're working for
[33:46] someone else or you have this crazy schedule, then yeah, it's
[33:49] much harder to fit things in that you actually enjoy.
[33:53] But then it's like, well, what are what are those things that
[33:55] you actually enjoy? Is it spending time with your
[33:58] family because that's also part of your duties as a father or
[34:02] husband or wife or mother? Or is it going for a run?
[34:07] OK, well, that's responsibility for taking care of your body.
[34:10] And so I think the 2GO hand in hand, I don't think it's ever
[34:14] separate. You say you're a moderate.
[34:16] What's your most extreme belief? Probably that women shouldn't
[34:20] vote. I think that's probably my most
[34:23] extreme or the one I've gotten the most backlash on.
[34:26] Understandably. Yeah, understandably.
[34:29] Yeah, I'm like, OK, that's fair, I guess.
[34:32] Why shouldn't women vote? So I believe in a one family
[34:34] voting system. I think it would bring back the
[34:37] nuclear family. I believe that a husband and
[34:39] wife are one flesh and therefore should make that political
[34:42] decision together. And I don't want these radical
[34:44] feminists to be able to vote. Frankly, that's my logic behind
[34:48] it is if you're shaving your head because someone was
[34:51] elected, you are not mentally stable enough to vote.
[34:57] That's convenient for you because you don't agree with
[34:59] them. Oh, yeah, it's, but that's my
[35:01] logic is it's, it's completely convenient for me.
[35:04] But even if I had my voting rights stripped away, I wouldn't
[35:08] care. My husband would be the one
[35:09] voting for us, and that's fine. Yeah, you wouldn't care.
[35:14] Oh, but some other women would care for sure.
[35:16] Yeah. Care a lot, yes.
[35:17] So are you not doing and and? Sorry to ask all the tough
[35:20] questions, but. No, no, I enjoy it.
[35:22] Press you on these things. Aren't you doing exactly what
[35:26] the left wing as you complain about are doing where they
[35:29] prioritize how they feel? That's a good question.
[35:33] But I do think there's some logic behind it as well.
[35:35] I think since the 19th Amendment, society has really
[35:38] decayed because women's interests have become this the
[35:42] focal point of politics. It's the reason that they can
[35:45] abort their offspring. And I don't think it's done any
[35:49] good for us as a society, especially because the media
[35:54] targets young women. It targets women because they're
[35:57] a little bit more emotional. And so they see these things
[35:59] online and they're immediately like, Oh my gosh, that poor
[36:03] family, that poor child. Little do you know the story is
[36:06] completely twisted and you're voting based off your emotions
[36:10] and not the actual facts. So if it was the Christians that
[36:13] gave women these increased votes, is it not Christianity's
[36:17] fault? Sure, it could be, but I think
[36:22] the feminist ideology is what made women so radical, not the
[36:26] Christian movement. The Christians fought for our
[36:28] rights, yes, but the feminist ideology is what's made women so
[36:34] radical in today's society. And I I've spoken to a couple
[36:38] pastors about this. There's so many churches that
[36:41] don't believe women should vote either, and they also believe in
[36:44] the one family voting system because they believe that the
[36:47] marriage is the foundation and family is the foundation of
[36:50] society. Therefore all decisions should
[36:52] be made together. Therefore, households should be
[36:54] taxed once, not twice, for two different jobs.
[36:59] So that's really interesting as well.
[37:01] But I don't think it's so much the equality piece for me.
[37:03] It's not that women don't deserve the right to vote
[37:06] because they're less of value. It's because I truly believe in
[37:09] the family unit and making those decisions together.
[37:12] It's so fascinating, like I've been looking forward to this
[37:15] conversation for so long because we're 220 year olds and we're
[37:18] from different parts of the world, but we're still both in
[37:21] the West and especially now with social media, everything's kind
[37:24] of this globalized village, but we've come to such different
[37:28] beliefs at such a young age already when we haven't had too
[37:32] much time to explore the world even frankly.
[37:35] So it's cool just like investigating this and kind of
[37:39] probing each other's ideas and seeing how people can come to
[37:42] such different conclusions and and kind of doing so
[37:46] respectfully with the voting. I mean if it's about a family
[37:51] and caring about the family, why don't you just have a family
[37:55] vote rather than the man specifically voting and not the
[37:58] women? Well, I think it would be a
[38:00] family vote, but. I mean, why would the man place
[38:04] it over the women? Because they're the head of the
[38:07] household and they're the leaders.
[38:08] And so they are the ultimate decision makers.
[38:13] That's my biblical belief. And that's also the belief that
[38:16] I hold in my marriage. And I've seen how taking the
[38:20] step back and letting my husband do his job of leading has
[38:24] elevated him into a man that he couldn't become on his own.
[38:28] And men need that. Like you said, you want to boss
[38:31] bitch trad wife. So I assume that you want
[38:34] someone who is still somewhat submissive and listens to your
[38:38] leadership. I would hope that I would listen
[38:41] to her leadership when warranted too.
[38:45] And and what situation specifically?
[38:47] I mean, it could be anything. It could be literally any
[38:50] situation possible. You name it and she may have a
[38:53] better stance on it than I would.
[38:55] She might be the better decision maker on it.
[38:57] So what I struggle with, and I, I spoke to Sterling Cooper about
[39:01] this in kind of a different context too, is this idea of the
[39:04] man leading. I'm not going to be some woke
[39:07] virtue signalling guy that sits here and goes no that men and
[39:12] women need to lead equally in all situations.
[39:15] Like I'm not going to deny reality and that we're
[39:17] different. I think that the man should take
[39:19] the lead in such certain situations.
[39:22] But equally I want my wife to take the lead in lots of
[39:25] situations instead of me because I'm fucking incompetent in a
[39:28] bunch of different situations. So what I struggle with here is
[39:32] this kind of catch all term of men taking the lead when I think
[39:37] it's pretty situational. And I think maybe why it's
[39:40] easier for people to say that men should take the lead as a
[39:43] whole is because the places where men do excel, where we
[39:47] have this masculinity to show they're more visible for people.
[39:52] It's more visible when you incorporate this masculinity in
[39:55] into your life and you take the lead in outwards facing
[39:59] activities, right? I can see that.
[40:02] That's why people just go, OK, yeah, well, I can see that men
[40:05] are much more aggressive inherently, and that they're
[40:08] much more likely to want to make a decision with conviction
[40:12] because they're perhaps less empathetic and they're more set
[40:14] in their ways. I can see how that goes down a
[40:17] slippery slope of going, yeah, so the man should just leave the
[40:19] whole household. Whereas actually, I think
[40:22] there's more nuance to it. And I don't like the idea of me
[40:28] having to be the leader for everything.
[40:31] I think it's not only unfair on the woman and it's mostly unfair
[40:35] on the woman, it would also be unfair on me.
[40:39] I can see the nuance because there's certain situations like
[40:43] for example, if we're meeting someone for the first time and
[40:47] we're going to do a business deal or whatever it may be and
[40:50] he leaves the dinner and he's like, it was a great dinner and
[40:52] I'm like, there was just something off.
[40:55] I, I don't know if I like that guy, he'll always listen to me
[40:58] because of female intuition. So I don't think it's this
[41:03] tyrant sort of situation or a dictatorship where the husband
[41:07] is just bossing the wife around. But ultimately men think longer
[41:15] term and women think shorter term.
[41:17] So when it comes to big decisions for our family, I
[41:20] completely trust him with that because I know a lot of times
[41:24] I'm thinking about my own short term happiness and not what's
[41:27] going to be best for us in the long run.
[41:29] So I understand your position of the nuance because there's the
[41:33] house decor. I'm deciding the house decor
[41:35] because the home is my place, but with the bigger decisions
[41:39] for our family, I completely trust my husband with that.
[41:43] Would you let your husband overrule you on the House decor
[41:46] if he wanted to? I've let him put some pieces in
[41:51] there. He usually doesn't fight back on
[41:55] that though. But yes, yeah, of course.
[41:58] If he really wanted something in the house, then of course.
[42:03] I just think, and again, like I sound super woke comparatively
[42:08] to you and I hate it because usually I'm the one who's at
[42:10] woke and is like, look at these pussies virtue signalling on a
[42:14] podcast, little soy boys. That's me today.
[42:19] I think politics could do with more women.
[42:22] Like I think there's an abundance of incompetent men
[42:25] that are pursuing nothing but status and.
[42:28] Oh, I completely agree. Yeah, I feel like we could do
[42:31] with some more empathetic, hard working women that stand up for
[42:36] things. That experience is unique to
[42:38] women. Now, that's not to say that your
[42:39] lived experience Trump's everything else and that you
[42:42] can't talk about issues unless you've lived through it, that
[42:44] that's bullshit. But like, I can see how it's
[42:48] important to have different people representative of
[42:51] different portions of society in politics.
[42:54] I agree with that. I completely agree.
[42:56] I think women need to speak on women's issues, especially like
[43:00] the pro-life movement. I think we're having women in
[43:02] the pro-life movement is extremely important because if
[43:05] it was just men telling mothers what to do and telling them why
[43:09] something is wrong, women wouldn't listen to that.
[43:11] So of course we need that representation.
[43:15] So women should be in politics but shouldn't vote?
[43:20] I know, I know you're laughing. No I again.
[43:23] And it's not that women specifically should have the
[43:26] right taken away. I just believe in a one family
[43:28] voting system. I think that that would fix a
[43:29] lot of things. And when voting was marketed
[43:32] towards women by the suffragettes it was always well
[43:36] now you can vote against your husband.
[43:37] So if you've got different political views, well you can
[43:40] vote for one candidate and he can vote for the other.
[43:43] When in reality the 2 are one and should be aligned on.
[43:47] Those sorts of decisions, like politics and religion
[43:49] specifically, I think is extremely important to be
[43:52] aligned on. I want to pivot a little bit
[43:54] because I heard you mention this briefly with Chris Griffin on
[43:57] his podcast, which everyone should check out.
[44:00] You speak about this death of beauty, I guess you'd call it,
[44:04] where the modern world seems to have just completely turned
[44:08] their back on anything beautiful.
[44:10] And I completely agree with this.
[44:12] And I can see how people would yearn for this more traditional
[44:15] vision of beauty. You look at the Colosseums and
[44:19] what have you, and it's these ancient buildings that have
[44:22] stood the test of time. And the reason they've stood the
[44:25] test of time is not only because they were built better.
[44:27] They don't get mouldy and give you toxins in the space of two
[44:32] years. They also stand the test of time
[44:34] because they're so beautiful that they don't get demolished,
[44:36] right. Whereas I couldn't say the same
[44:39] for the MPC town in Arizona that we're sat in at the moment with
[44:44] a bunch of buildings that look exactly.
[44:45] That's exactly I was thinking about this as we were driving
[44:48] for this neighborhood. I'm like, everything looks the
[44:51] exact same. Like this is boring.
[44:53] It's not inspiring now, given the inside of this house is
[44:57] really cute, but driving around here, you're like, where is the
[45:00] beauty of everything? Everything looks the same and
[45:02] looks very dull. And I believe that that's
[45:06] changing the way that people show up in society.
[45:09] Well. How does the death of beauty
[45:11] impact society? I think our environment shapes
[45:14] everything. I mean, you've probably felt it
[45:16] when you've traveled to certain places and you're like, man,
[45:18] this place is really dull and boring and there's no one here
[45:21] and no one looks like they like their lives.
[45:23] But when you're somewhere else, let's say like a bigger city or
[45:26] there's more opportunity, or somewhere like Malibu where
[45:28] everything is just gorgeous, you feel more inspired there.
[45:32] You feel more motivated being there.
[45:34] And so that it also translates to the way that people present
[45:38] themselves. It's the same reason you'd go to
[45:40] a casual restaurant and wear jeans and AT shirt, or a fine
[45:43] dining restaurant and dress up in a suit and tie.
[45:46] Because your environment shapes how you present yourself.
[45:49] I don't even know how to tie a tie.
[45:52] You don't know how to tie a tie, No.
[45:54] And I went to British school with school uniform.
[45:55] We had ties every day. My mom would do it for me like
[45:58] once every three months. YouTube University for that.
[46:02] It's funny, I learned everything else from YouTube, but I just
[46:04] never asked to learn how to tie a tie.
[46:07] I think that's pretty indicative of where we're at as a society
[46:11] that wouldn't float 100 years ago.
[46:13] No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.
[46:17] But yeah, it was same thing with women.
[46:19] The way that the women dress now is completely different from
[46:22] what it used to be, which is fine.
[46:24] Modern clothing is fine, but my point is that no one's dressing
[46:28] like they like their lives. And I believe that the
[46:30] environment has a lot to do with that.
[46:33] When you go to the airport, do you see the food that they serve
[46:37] you on the plane? It is like the most bland.
[46:40] It's it looks like Bill Gates chicken.
[46:46] And so how can you expect people to dress up for something or
[46:51] dress nice at all when you're serving them bland chicken and
[46:55] boiled rice with the food on the planes then?
[46:58] It used to be like that. If you look at the before and
[47:01] after, is it like the United first class flights?
[47:03] Have you seen the normal class on planes?
[47:06] Like whenever planes came out commercially it's like first
[47:10] class now. It's crazy.
[47:12] So everything in society has just degenerated.
[47:17] So of course we're going to dress like that as well,
[47:19] imprison ourselves that way. I think about this so much.
[47:22] I've moved to Cape Town recently in South Africa and I managed to
[47:25] get an apartment about four times cheaper than a shoe box in
[47:29] London. And I've got this lovely view
[47:31] over Table Mountain and I see that at night the lights come on
[47:37] and they power the whole of lighting up Table Mountain and
[47:40] it's beautiful. It means that you can sit
[47:42] outside in the summer and you can look up at this mountain as
[47:46] the sun is setting and you can still have visibility on it.
[47:49] And I was like, this is going to sound horrible, people are going
[47:53] to hate this, but go fuck themselves.
[47:56] I'm in this country. It's so poor, poverty's through
[47:59] the roof. It's one of the most dangerous
[48:01] places in the world. It's not a war zone.
[48:04] People are starving. They can't feed themselves.
[48:07] Yet the government's made the decision to pour some money,
[48:11] allocate some into lighting up this mountain.
[48:15] Why? Well, it doesn't feed the
[48:18] starving kids. It doesn't do anything.
[48:22] On the surface, perhaps that's politically advantageous for
[48:26] them, but it gives us that beauty and it prolongs it.
[48:31] From the daytime when the sun goes down to when the sun's gone
[48:34] and the moon comes up. You can still see this natural
[48:37] beauty. And although it's maybe
[48:39] depressing that the money is not being poured into anything else,
[48:42] I don't think it would be anyway because their governments
[48:44] corrupt. I'm probably not going to be
[48:46] allowed in the country after this conversation.
[48:51] There's there's something in that where it's so difficult of
[48:56] a decision. On the surface, everyone would
[48:58] be railing against it. And if you put it out to a vote,
[49:02] should we put the money into feeding these people into this
[49:05] charity or should we light up the mountain at night?
[49:08] You know which one people would choose.
[49:11] And I think this is part of the problem.
[49:14] For the sake of a long winded analogy, perhaps to take it more
[49:17] into what I'm speaking about here, nowadays everything is
[49:22] based around metrics. It's all quantized.
[49:25] It's all about profit, revenue margins.
[49:30] How can we get more? How can we decrease our costs,
[49:33] increase our profit, Right? And that doesn't lend itself to
[49:37] beauty because beauty is unquantifiable.
[49:41] You can't define beauty. Like good luck if you want to
[49:44] try, but you just can't. That's what makes beauty
[49:47] beautiful. So I wonder how we get back to
[49:52] prioritizing beauty without sacrificing all the other
[49:56] fundamentals in our lives. But but like, I think beauty is
[49:58] one of the fundamentals societally.
[50:01] And when you look around at buildings like the ones outside
[50:04] here, it does look like the society wants to end itself
[50:09] itself. Famously, brutalism was
[50:11] described as architecture that hates humans.
[50:14] I think that's so true. How are you going to go out and
[50:17] aspire to change the world if you're looking at this concrete
[50:19] slab? I just don't think it's going to
[50:22] happen. And it's such a fundamental
[50:25] thing, actually, an aspect of the world that it's easy to
[50:29] snare out. Like it sounds so stupid that
[50:32] you won't be motivated to do anything because there's a
[50:35] concrete slab in front of your eyes instead of something
[50:37] pretty. That's because it's so
[50:39] fundamental. So I've seen it my whole life.
[50:42] I didn't really care about any of this beautiful architecture
[50:45] and kind of going back to these cathedrals or whatever.
[50:48] And then I started travelling and I was like, why do I travel?
[50:52] Why do I like going to different places?
[50:55] Why do I speak about London and Paris versus LA?
[51:00] It's because of the beauty. So how do we get back to beauty?
[51:04] I think we have to take that responsibility piece and change
[51:08] ourselves first. Start dressing like we actually
[51:11] like our lives and respect ourselves.
[51:13] And that's what we can do as individuals.
[51:15] Because it's not like we can allocate a ton of money into
[51:19] changing every single house around here or changing the
[51:21] streets or cleaning everything up.
[51:23] But we can start with ourselves. We can present ourselves better.
[51:27] Because every time I go in the airport, I'm it's, it's
[51:30] depressing. Like no one looks like they like
[51:33] themselves. It looks like a defeated
[51:35] society, but if everyone showed up and dressed in a way that
[51:40] presents themselves like they do respect themselves, then I would
[51:44] have that respect for other people.
[51:46] And I think eventually that would change a lot of the way
[51:50] that we perceive society. Because if you walk into a
[51:53] grocery store and everyone is dressed in pajamas and you're
[51:57] the only normal looking person that's I don't even maybe
[52:00] wearing just a pair of jeans, which is casual.
[52:03] You're like, what am I doing here?
[52:06] Everyone looks like they hate themselves and I'm just like a
[52:09] normal human being in genes over here.
[52:11] So even if we just dressed like normal humans, I think that
[52:16] would change a lot. I guess a counter argument from
[52:19] someone watching would be yeah, but you should be your
[52:22] authentic. Self.
[52:23] Yeah, it's that individualism. Do whatever you feel man.
[52:26] So the question becomes, why should you dress up for society
[52:30] and I guess more directly for people at home who are maybe in
[52:33] relationships, Why should you dress up for your partner?
[52:37] Because attraction is so important and no one wants to
[52:39] talk about that. It's always, well, I feel
[52:42] comfortable this way and I want to look however I want to look.
[52:46] But OK, you met your husband one way.
[52:48] You were super dressed up, you had your hairs on, and now you
[52:51] haven't worn makeup in two years.
[52:53] But when your girls ask you to go to brunch, you're dressing up
[52:55] for them. So why aren't you dressing up
[52:58] for the man who signed up to be with you for the rest of his
[53:00] life? That logic doesn't make sense to
[53:02] me, but when it comes to society, there's so much
[53:06] evidence that when you dress up, when you get ready for the day,
[53:11] you're more energetic, you have more productivity throughout the
[53:14] day, you feel better about yourself.
[53:16] It boosts self-confidence. So there's some selfish reasons
[53:19] as well to get ready every single day.
[53:21] It's not just to please society, but of course when you walk into
[53:24] a room and you are dressed nice and you look like you respect
[53:27] yourself, other people are going to respect you.
[53:29] But if you look like you really hate yourself, people are going
[53:32] to look at you like they also disrespect you.
[53:36] So of course it is for society. But there are the selfish
[53:39] reasons as well to get ready every single day, to boost your
[53:42] confidence and to to feel better about yourself.
[53:45] I think people are missing that. They don't, they don't they,
[53:48] they only get ready on special occasions.
[53:49] They don't get ready every single day.
[53:51] And then they get ready for a special occasion and they're
[53:53] like, wow, I actually look good. Like why don't I do this more
[53:56] often? And it's like, why don't you?
[53:57] Life is so short. Just get ready every day.
[54:01] Why would you not? Yeah, I always question what I
[54:03] do. So I haven't been in a
[54:04] relationship for years now and I always question like what
[54:07] standard I would hold my partner to because it is so overlooked.
[54:13] This piece on actually dressing up for your partner, both the
[54:15] guy and the girl, and making them feel lucky to be with you,
[54:20] right? Not just being a slob that's
[54:22] woken up in your great tracksuit and you keep it on for the whole
[54:25] day. You lounge around, watch
[54:27] Netflix, and then you go back to bed again.
[54:29] You want that excitement and you want people to be reminded that
[54:34] they're fortunate to be around you as a human.
[54:36] It's a privilege to have you in their lives.
[54:39] And they kind of, I don't know, I, I want to feel slightly
[54:43] stressed out about keeping my future girlfriend because she's
[54:46] so good and I'm punching, you know?
[54:48] And it feels like if you're walking around wearing those
[54:51] juicy kind of velvety leggings, you've seen those track suits,
[54:56] you're kind of taking away from that vision.
[54:59] I completely agree, like Noah and I hold ourselves both to a
[55:02] really high standard and we'll call each other out when we're
[55:05] being lazy. Like, oh, you didn't go to the
[55:06] gym the entire week? OK, fatty, like get in the gym.
[55:11] But I think that's so important to hold yourself to a high
[55:14] standard, not only for your relationship.
[55:16] Obviously I want my husband to be super attracted to me and
[55:19] vice versa, but also because I I love myself.
[55:23] Like I love the body that I was given.
[55:25] Of course I'm going to take care of it.
[55:26] Of course I'm going to get ready every single day because I don't
[55:29] hate my life and I want to go in public and feel good about
[55:31] myself. So again, you don't lose
[55:34] anything from getting ready or taking care of yourself or going
[55:38] to the gym. You only gain everything.
[55:40] Can you take me through your earlier life?
[55:41] How did you get to being a trad wife at 20?
[55:45] Never thought I was going to get married at 18.
[55:47] That was very not, not unexpected at the time, but I
[55:51] didn't think I was going to find my person that young.
[55:55] And I grew up in a pretty Christian, conservative
[55:58] household. Throughout high school, I was
[56:01] modeling a little bit. I competed in pageant.
[56:04] So I was always very passionate about something.
[56:08] And then once I met my husband, it was very clear that we were
[56:13] going to get married. Like I was within two weeks.
[56:16] I was like, hey, I think you're going to be my husband.
[56:19] And he's like, yeah, yeah, I agree.
[56:21] So we got married after a year of dating.
[56:24] And I was working at the time. I was I was a makeup artist.
[56:28] I had my own business. And I chose that career because
[56:32] I knew that once we had children, that would be a super
[56:35] flexible career. So it's always been family
[56:38] first. I watched my mom growing up work
[56:41] from home. She's a very flexible job.
[56:43] She's an entrepreneur. And she could have made so much
[56:46] more money if she would have travelled and been away from us
[56:49] as kids. But instead she sacrificed that
[56:52] little bit of money in order to pick us up and drop us off at
[56:56] school in order to be at every single game that we had, every
[57:00] single pageant I did, every single modeling job.
[57:02] She was always there. And I always admired that about
[57:05] my mom because yes, she had her career and she found passion in
[57:09] her career, but it was always family focused.
[57:13] She never would miss a game just for an extra paycheck.
[57:17] And I really respected that about her.
[57:18] So whenever I started my makeup artistry business, that was
[57:21] always in the back of my mind. And then I left that business
[57:25] once my once he got a new job back in our hometown and I was
[57:30] just no work for a little while. And then I started content
[57:34] creation and the first video that I posted was not
[57:38] controversial at all. There was no hot take said, but
[57:41] I was just getting ready and I was sharing my story of how I
[57:43] got married at 18 because we have a pretty fascinating story.
[57:46] Like we got engaged, married and moved in the same week.
[57:49] So it was a really fun week. So I was sharing that and all of
[57:53] the comments were like, I hope you get divorced.
[57:56] He's going to cheat on you. Good luck.
[57:58] Talk to me in 20 years awful comments.
[58:02] It's it's always so negative. And so I was like, you know
[58:04] what? This is a a real problem and I'm
[58:07] going to continue speaking about it do.
[58:09] You think those people are happy in their lives?
[58:10] No, no one is happy if you're hating on a happy married woman.
[58:16] I can understand you hating on my takes.
[58:19] I can understand you disagreeing with me.
[58:22] But in that particular video, there was no nothing
[58:25] controversial, no hot takes. It was just a story.
[58:28] And if you're hating on a happy married woman, you are not happy
[58:33] in your own life. There'd be no reason to do so.
[58:35] It's just, it goes back to the conversation we were having
[58:37] earlier about people that are so obsessed with politics and with
[58:41] other people. If you're so focused on other
[58:44] people and their social media and you're commenting all the
[58:46] time, you really have nothing going on in your own life.
[58:49] And so you've got to have that outlet somewhere.
[58:51] Yeah, people can't get what they want, so they choose to want
[58:54] what they can get. And part of that is denying any
[58:57] of the things that they know deep down would actually give
[59:00] them a spiritual prosperity and make them fulfilled.
[59:03] So they lambast you in the Commons.
[59:06] They say that I hope you your divorce ends because that would
[59:09] make them happy. Why would it make them happy?
[59:11] It's because if your marriage doesn't work out that's so happy
[59:15] and so perfect, then go. I told you so.
[59:19] I was right, I gave up. But it was for good reason,
[59:22] because what you've done was all in vain.
[59:25] It wasn't worth it. You pursued perfection, but that
[59:27] doesn't exist. So actually I'm the smarter one
[59:30] because I never tried and I didn't waste any time.
[59:32] I didn't risk heartbreak. I was able to pursue my career
[59:36] instead and I was able to go for drinks with the girlies everyday
[59:39] or go and do gaming nights with the rest of my their boyfriends,
[59:43] right? So like it's clear to me when
[59:46] you look at these haters, people never hate at people that are
[59:49] doing worse than themselves, right?
[59:52] Like it's only other people that are doing better than you.
[59:54] And it's so prominent, it's so prevalent on social media.
[59:59] And I think part of it is the anonymity that you have online
[1:00:02] where you can put up an AI generated image as your profile
[1:00:05] picture and just troll a bunch of people that frankly have
[1:00:09] better lives than you and you're jealous of.
[1:00:12] Have you seen that the Internet is over 50% bots now?
[1:00:15] What? Yeah, so now that I, I saw that
[1:00:20] like a month ago or so, I'm like, you know what, if all of
[1:00:23] these accounts are bots, then they're really trying to get at
[1:00:27] me for some reason. I don't know why, but you click
[1:00:30] on the profile of all these comments and it's like 25
[1:00:33] followers, no profile photo. OK, It's a bot for sure.
[1:00:38] Which is really interesting because these aren't even real
[1:00:41] people that are picking at you. It's majority bots.
[1:00:45] Do you have any hot takes on why these bots are getting sent to
[1:00:48] you or other creators? I think they go after people
[1:00:51] that are going against the grain.
[1:00:53] Why? To continue pushing the
[1:00:56] propaganda that they've been pushing for a very long time.
[1:01:00] Who's there? You know, that's a good
[1:01:02] question. So I think we all of us, like on
[1:01:06] the conservative side, say they when we're talking about the
[1:01:08] elites, the government. So I think they is
[1:01:13] all-encompassing of all the people in power.
[1:01:16] They them's. Exactly.
[1:01:21] It's all the people in power. Can you talk me through?
[1:01:23] I thought this was really interesting reading up on your
[1:01:25] story. What the deal was with the
[1:01:28] beauty pageant that you had in Florida before you got married?
[1:01:32] Didn't it decide whether you got married or not?
[1:01:34] It did. And so that was actually a big
[1:01:37] part of why I stopped competing, because I competed.
[1:01:42] I I think I was 18. It was before we got married and
[1:01:47] my plan was to compete again. So what?
[1:01:49] What is this pageant? How does it work?
[1:01:52] Is this like it's Hari Boo Boo style?
[1:01:54] No, it's Miss USA. So it's like the it's the more
[1:01:58] most pristine Miss America. Miss USA are the most pristine
[1:02:01] pageants, very beautiful women, very intelligent women.
[1:02:05] You can't just be anyone. You have to like, get through
[1:02:07] the application. No, you got to get through the
[1:02:09] application process. And competing in Florida is a
[1:02:11] very, very competitive state. So I competed 2 years in a row
[1:02:15] and what I was wrestling with was like, I really want to get
[1:02:18] married, but you can't be married and compete in a
[1:02:20] pageant. So you've got these.
[1:02:23] Is that like a rule? It's a rule because it's MISS So
[1:02:26] Miss Florida USA, if you're married or have children or have
[1:02:31] had children, I think, I think they did change the rule that
[1:02:34] you can be have been pregnant. I don't know.
[1:02:38] There's they're changing all the rules because now they're
[1:02:40] letting men compete and Miss USA.
[1:02:42] So I don't know what the deal is with the married women, but my
[1:02:45] frustration was with, OK, if being married is being married
[1:02:50] and having children and being a mother or something very unique
[1:02:52] to women, and if a pageant such as Miss USA is going to claim
[1:02:56] that they support women, then why would you not support women
[1:03:00] getting married and having children?
[1:03:02] And so what's funny is I knew this girl that did actually end
[1:03:06] up winning Miss Florida USA, but it took her eight years.
[1:03:09] She competed for eight years in a row.
[1:03:11] She was engaged for four or five years and was putting off the
[1:03:15] wedding because she wanted to win this title so bad.
[1:03:17] She finally won it once she aged out at 28, then they got
[1:03:21] married. But I'm like, if you really
[1:03:24] think about it, are they doing that on purpose?
[1:03:27] Are they making women wait so long to win this crown and put
[1:03:32] off their marriages and their family for a reason?
[1:03:35] Because there's a lot of politicians also involved with
[1:03:38] Miss USA and with the pageantry system.
[1:03:41] So my issue was I was going to compete again, but I wanted to
[1:03:45] get married. So I stopped competing because
[1:03:47] I'm like, whatever, my marriage is way more important than
[1:03:50] whatever title I could get from a pageant.
[1:03:53] But yeah, it's really interesting that they don't
[1:03:54] support those aspects of womanhood.
[1:03:57] What? Would your advice be to someone
[1:03:59] who wants a traditional partner, but they look around at modern
[1:04:02] society and they see a bunch of people hooking up, going to
[1:04:04] nightclubs, caring about these superficial markers of what
[1:04:09] makes someone valuable rather than more fundamental assets?
[1:04:14] What would your advice be to someone who's trying to find a
[1:04:16] traditional partner in the modern world?
[1:04:17] I don't think you have to go out searching for it.
[1:04:19] I think you have to do the things within yourself in order
[1:04:22] to attract that person. So let's say it's someone who's
[1:04:26] super fit. Well, if you're not super fit,
[1:04:29] you're probably not going to attract that person.
[1:04:31] If it's a man who is very masculine and you're not really
[1:04:35] feminine, you may want to work on that aspect of it.
[1:04:38] If it's a man who's really deep in his faith and spirituality,
[1:04:41] but you've never picked up a Bible or gone to church or gone
[1:04:44] to Bible study groups, then you're probably not going to
[1:04:47] attract that right type of man. So I think people are always
[1:04:50] coming up with the list of what they want their ideal person to
[1:04:54] be like, but they're not coming up with that list for
[1:04:56] themselves. It's always like, I want them to
[1:04:59] be this tall and look like this and be this successful or have
[1:05:05] this job or have these characteristics, but then
[1:05:08] they're never looking at themselves and saying, well,
[1:05:11] what characteristics do I have? What do I need to work on?
[1:05:14] Are my communication skills poor?
[1:05:16] Am I fit? Am I in shape?
[1:05:18] Am I in the right headspace to be in a relationship?
[1:05:21] Or do I still have a lot of trust issues?
[1:05:22] They don't do that inner work. So I believe that when you
[1:05:25] instead write down and make a list for yourself of all the
[1:05:29] things that you would want to attract in someone else, that
[1:05:33] will infinitely help you in attracting the right partner.
[1:05:35] What would your advice be to someone who likes the values of
[1:05:40] someone who's traditional and Christian?
[1:05:43] They've got these religious underpinnings to the way they
[1:05:46] view the world. They think that human life is
[1:05:49] sacred. They believe in the fact that
[1:05:52] men and women should have equality in a biblical sort of
[1:05:54] way. But the person that likes
[1:05:58] perhaps, let's say, a woman who has those values, they can't buy
[1:06:02] into the belief themselves that actually underpins it.
[1:06:07] What's your advice there? Do you date the Christian even
[1:06:10] though you're not Christian yourself?
[1:06:12] Dating is not a ministry. It's not a chance to evangelize.
[1:06:17] And so I tell Christian women to not date men who are not
[1:06:20] Christian because it's always going to be a struggle.
[1:06:23] And women don't want to have to spiritually lead their man.
[1:06:26] They don't want to have to date a man, try to tug him to church.
[1:06:29] Read your Bible, please. Like, please get saved and
[1:06:32] baptized. They don't want to have to do
[1:06:34] that. They want to have that spiritual
[1:06:36] leader already. It's also very clear in the
[1:06:38] Bible that we should be equally yoked with our husband or wife.
[1:06:42] So having the same foundation, having the same religious view.
[1:06:47] Yoked. Equally yoked, yeah.
[1:06:49] What does that mean? Equally yoked, meaning we are on
[1:06:52] the same spiritual level so. In my world, in the fitness,
[1:06:57] it's like I want to get absolutely yoked.
[1:06:59] I'm going to lift 225 lbs on bed.
[1:07:02] Express not that type of yoked, but yoked.
[1:07:05] But maybe that too. Maybe that too, but spiritually
[1:07:08] is what that implies. So it's not a chance for you to
[1:07:13] try to convert someone to Christianity because that's
[1:07:16] always going to be a struggle. And I always say on the first
[1:07:19] date, first or second date, like pretty very early on, if your
[1:07:22] intention is marriage, you need to talk about religion,
[1:07:25] politics, sex, money, and kids. Get those five topics topics out
[1:07:29] of the way. If you're aligned on all five of
[1:07:31] those, well then continue dating that person and pursue the
[1:07:35] marriage. But if out of those five things
[1:07:38] you are not aligned, then that is probably not the person for
[1:07:41] you. Will that conversation look like
[1:07:44] outlining those five things? Religion.
[1:07:46] So what is their foundation? What's their moral foundation?
[1:07:48] What are their views? What do they believe in?
[1:07:51] Are they tied to any religion? Politics.
[1:07:54] What are your major political views?
[1:07:56] Are you pro-choice? Are you pro-life?
[1:07:58] Are you pro immigration? Are you pro gay marriage?
[1:08:03] Like different political topics? Sex expectations.
[1:08:08] With that, I believe that you should talk about your body
[1:08:11] count and how many people you've been, how many people you've
[1:08:13] been with kids. How many kids do you want?
[1:08:16] One person could say 1 and the other one could say 10.
[1:08:19] OK, can we come up with a compromise there?
[1:08:21] Could we do like 5? And then what was the other
[1:08:24] money? Money.
[1:08:25] So how much ideally, how much money do I need to be making?
[1:08:30] How much money are you making? What is an ideal lifestyle for
[1:08:34] you specifically? This is a great question for
[1:08:36] women. What is your ideal lifestyle
[1:08:39] look like? I think those are all great
[1:08:41] questions to bring up. When should you tell a potential
[1:08:44] partner what your body count is? When they ask, when they ask, if
[1:08:53] they ask on the first stage, just be honest.
[1:08:55] I would say. I think naturally that question
[1:08:58] comes up after a while, but I think it's important to talk
[1:09:03] about your past and your history and kind of what your lifestyle
[1:09:08] was like before pursuing this person.
[1:09:11] What if they've gone through a whole journey spiritually and
[1:09:14] you believe in forgiveness as a Christian, and it's better to
[1:09:16] just not think about the past? They've reformed.
[1:09:20] They maybe used to be a bit of a fuck boy or a bit of a slag, and
[1:09:24] now they're a different person. Maybe you actually are perfect
[1:09:27] for them, but you don't want to know about their past and that
[1:09:30] would kind of impinge on this perfect marriage that you could
[1:09:33] have. I think people have different
[1:09:35] views on that. You know, some Christians really
[1:09:38] just want someone who's never slept with anyone or been with
[1:09:41] anyone else and has a completely clean slate.
[1:09:44] But I think most of the time if you're like, hey, I just, you
[1:09:46] know, I had a really rough pass and I hooked up with everyone.
[1:09:50] I'm, you know, hooked up with everything on 4 legs.
[1:09:52] Then I had a complete radical change.
[1:09:59] I think they would respect that. Most people would respect that.
[1:10:02] But I do know some people who are just don't want anything to
[1:10:05] do with that. So I guess it depends on the
[1:10:06] person. What do you think to Christians
[1:10:08] that have had sex but say they want to wait until marriage with
[1:10:11] their new partners? Such a sticky situation because
[1:10:17] this just happened to someone I know.
[1:10:22] I think if someone slept around and is now re waiting until
[1:10:28] marriage, I respect that because it shows discipline.
[1:10:32] It's much harder to have slept around and then all of a sudden
[1:10:38] stop and try to wait till marriage.
[1:10:39] It's much harder to do that than to just never have sex before
[1:10:42] marriage because you don't know what anything is like.
[1:10:44] You're just like a clean slate. But I respect that because
[1:10:49] there's a change in heart. And that's the whole goal of
[1:10:51] life is to constantly change and become better human beings.
[1:10:56] But at the same time, if you're a woman and you tell a man,
[1:11:00] like, yeah, I did sleep around, but I'm going to make you wait
[1:11:02] until marriage, that can be a sticky situation because if the
[1:11:07] man is not really on board with that or he's like, well, why did
[1:11:10] you sleep with everyone in your past?
[1:11:11] I can see how that can be difficult.
[1:11:14] But overall, I I respect the decision to do so.
[1:11:17] I just think it's much harder. I can imagine, especially if
[1:11:21] you're someone who's super compassionate, you want to
[1:11:24] spread the gospel and you see someone who's the perfect
[1:11:27] partner for you, but they haven't yet converted.
[1:11:31] Maybe they will, maybe they won't.
[1:11:32] I guess you would kind of feel it's your duty to show them the
[1:11:35] light, right? So it must be hard to hold off
[1:11:39] doing anything and to not date them like you suggest you
[1:11:43] shouldn't do. What do you do instead?
[1:11:46] Do you stay friends with them and slowly kind of see what
[1:11:49] happens and wait to see if they do convert?
[1:11:51] Like where do you go from there? I think a good idea is
[1:11:54] friendship and without any sort of strings attached with the
[1:11:58] religion. Meaning it's not your ultimate
[1:12:01] goal to convert somebody. You're just supposed to plant
[1:12:04] the seed. As a Christian, you're supposed
[1:12:06] to share the gospel. And then you pray that as that
[1:12:10] person's life goes on that more things will open up their eyes.
[1:12:14] Because I think if I, if I were to sit here with you today for
[1:12:17] three hours and try to convert you to Christianity, I'm not
[1:12:19] going to be able to do that as an individual.
[1:12:22] What did you say? You're going to scam me.
[1:12:23] Away. Yeah, exactly.
[1:12:25] But if I mentioned something to you and then a year from now you
[1:12:29] have some sort of spiritual, supernatural experience, and
[1:12:32] then you speak to other people about Christianity, then five
[1:12:35] years down the line, you're like, you know what?
[1:12:38] This Christianity thing, I think I actually believe in it.
[1:12:41] So I don't think it's any person's one job to try to
[1:12:43] convert somebody, which is why it can be very exhausting and
[1:12:47] dating because you may be the only Christian that that person
[1:12:50] has in their lives. And if you're trying to date
[1:12:53] them but also trying to be their pastor, there's no romance
[1:12:57] there. There's no intimacy there.
[1:12:59] Depending on the pastor. Yeah, if you're the Pope, I
[1:13:04] guess. But All in all, I don't think
[1:13:08] it's an evangelism opportunity. And so the friendship can be
[1:13:11] there, but it's not their job to completely convert someone.
[1:13:14] What's your experience been like with other kids our age in Gen.
[1:13:17] Z? Looking at the way they act
[1:13:19] socially, the parties that they go to, the outfits that they
[1:13:23] wear, how was that shined with you growing up?
[1:13:26] I think our biggest issue with Gen.
[1:13:28] Z is the communication skills. I if I go into a coffee shop and
[1:13:34] I'm waiting in line for coffee, every gins ear is like on their
[1:13:38] phone like this and I'll like come up and try to compliment
[1:13:40] them and it's like like thank you and no conversation.
[1:13:47] Have you heard of the Gen. Z stare?
[1:13:49] Yes, yes, the dead stare. Yeah, but it's true.
[1:13:52] It's it's like there's no light behind their eyes.
[1:13:57] And I don't know about you, but I'm glad that I was born in O 5
[1:14:02] because I kind of missed the having a phone from the age of
[1:14:06] like 4 years old. I didn't have a phone till I was
[1:14:09] 16, social media at 17. And so I had a childhood where I
[1:14:14] was able to communicate with adults.
[1:14:16] Like my parents raised me the right way.
[1:14:18] I touched grass, I ran around and I think that the this
[1:14:24] upcoming generation and a lot of kids in our generation who maybe
[1:14:26] got social media super early on are going to completely lose
[1:14:30] communication skills or they're just using AI for everything,
[1:14:35] for their their brains and they can't think for themselves.
[1:14:38] So it's like, well, yeah, how can you formulate a conversation
[1:14:41] if you can't even think for yourself?
[1:14:43] Yeah, I was born in May 2005. So I've kind of seen the shift
[1:14:48] from being like maybe 7 or 8 years old and parents of friends
[1:14:54] I had, my mum was less strict than my dad, but similar.
[1:14:57] They'd be like, you know, 30 minute limit on the family
[1:15:00] computer today. Otherwise your eyes are going to
[1:15:02] turn square or whatever and you see the transition to us, if
[1:15:06] we're the same age, we must have been like 1516 during lockdown
[1:15:10] and COVID, been told that we must be on screens all day.
[1:15:14] That sets a pretty crazy precedent because following the
[1:15:18] lockdowns and the lifting of them, people just stayed on
[1:15:21] their screens. Like we set that norm and we
[1:15:24] just ran with it. And that's why I think you've
[1:15:26] had this evolution of things like the Gen.
[1:15:28] Z autistic stare where people just have no soul, where they
[1:15:33] look at you not say autistic people don't have souls, but you
[1:15:36] get the analogy. It's, it's so weird to see and
[1:15:39] especially when it's kind of unraveled during your lifetime.
[1:15:42] Like I was able to touch grass and play hide and seek in the
[1:15:46] park with friends. And then you see this slow
[1:15:49] transition as we're going through life and Snapchat
[1:15:52] becomes more popular and suddenly people aren't going
[1:15:55] through each other's houses, but they're chatting on Snapchat
[1:15:57] instead and all the other shit that comes with something like
[1:16:01] Snapchat or TikTok. So yeah, I I wonder where we go
[1:16:05] from here in terms of communication.
[1:16:07] If we're only getting more and more line, we're using more and
[1:16:10] more AI. There's probably going to be
[1:16:11] prompt soon that are just shortcuts for texting your mom
[1:16:15] or dad. You don't even have to put any
[1:16:17] thought into it. How do we get back to better
[1:16:20] communication skills? Do we just throw our phones in
[1:16:22] the pond? I think eventually people are
[1:16:25] going to take a really big step away from social media, and with
[1:16:29] the rise of AI and not knowing what's real and what's not.
[1:16:33] Like I can say for myself, I don't consume nearly as much as
[1:16:37] I used to because everything feels like brain rot.
[1:16:41] It feels like my attention span is getting shorter and I'm
[1:16:44] getting Dumber by the minute of watching social media.
[1:16:48] And I think a lot of people are feeling that and even in Gen.
[1:16:51] Z because a lot of the girls in my community are in Gen.
[1:16:53] Z and they're like, yeah, I deleted social media.
[1:16:55] Like I just can't do it anymore. I'm going to stay in your
[1:16:57] community because this is encouraging and uplifting.
[1:16:59] But I can't do the social media anymore.
[1:17:00] It's too negative. I, I can't, my attention span is
[1:17:03] shorter. I don't want to be burdened by
[1:17:06] this anymore. So my theory is that once AI
[1:17:11] becomes unrecognizable, I think most people are going to take a
[1:17:15] big step back from it. Anyways, yeah, I always speak
[1:17:18] about how I think there's been three waves of the Internet.
[1:17:21] That was the first wave when it first came out, and it was so
[1:17:25] novel that no one would trust anything they saw online.
[1:17:28] Why would you? It's this weird invention that's
[1:17:30] just been released. We need to go back to books and
[1:17:33] the stuff that's in a library. Then the Internet develops and
[1:17:37] it gets so normalized to the point where you search something
[1:17:41] up, you search something up on Google, and you trust the first
[1:17:43] search result. That's just the norm.
[1:17:45] It's convenient, it's a shortcut, and the internet's
[1:17:48] been around for a while. It's our primary access to
[1:17:50] information, so you're going to trust it.
[1:17:54] And what we're going to have is this third wave where we revert
[1:17:57] back. It's like this shoehorn of
[1:17:59] development where the Internet is so developed, AI is so
[1:18:03] advanced, that you can't trust anything you see.
[1:18:06] Again, not because it's new and it's not tried and tested,
[1:18:10] because it is so tried and tested that people have
[1:18:12] shortcutted anyway to trick you, to fall into something, to hack
[1:18:16] your brain, to play on this negativity bias that we have to
[1:18:20] send bots into your comment section saying they hope your
[1:18:22] marriage ends. It's like, fuck that.
[1:18:25] I'm just going to turn away from all of that and get my phone,
[1:18:28] get off the brick and smash it against it, you know?
[1:18:32] Yeah, I think that's kind of what we were talking about a
[1:18:34] little bit at dinner last night. Is what is all this worth if
[1:18:38] there's no peace with it? And if you're living in a world
[1:18:44] on social media where everything is fake and negative and you
[1:18:47] can't believe what's real, then is it really worth your peace?
[1:18:53] Or should we just throw the phones away and just kind of
[1:18:55] like live our lives like we used to touch some grass?
[1:19:00] What's the biggest thing you see young women struggling with in
[1:19:03] your communities? A big one is comparison.
[1:19:09] Comparison not only in the way that they look, but their
[1:19:13] lifestyles. They feel like they should be
[1:19:16] further along. They feel like they should have
[1:19:19] all these materialistic things or they feel like they have to
[1:19:23] behave a certain way in order to be successful.
[1:19:27] And so we talked about comparison quite a lot, and I
[1:19:30] think social media has definitely added to that.
[1:19:34] If you're scrolling through other people's lives every
[1:19:37] single day, all day, of course you're not going to love your
[1:19:41] own life or embrace the things that you have in your own life.
[1:19:44] So comparison and contentment for sure.
[1:19:47] What do you mean by contentment? Contentment as in knowing that
[1:19:52] you are living your life for a reason, that you are there for a
[1:19:56] reason and you're happy with that.
[1:19:59] And not looking at someone else's life and saying I would
[1:20:02] feel so much happier if I had this, or I envy her life, or I
[1:20:05] need that in order to be happy. It's knowing that God has you
[1:20:10] where you are for a reason and embracing that.
[1:20:14] We traded God for this hedonic treadmill that we just keep on
[1:20:17] running on with no progress. We don't move forwards, we don't
[1:20:20] sidestep anything. We just keep on going like a
[1:20:24] hamster in his cage on a wheel. And I struggle with this so
[1:20:29] much. I'm probably part of the problem
[1:20:31] pursuing endlessly. I see all of these people online
[1:20:34] and you know, I think I want to outdo them.
[1:20:37] I want to have the better podcast.
[1:20:39] I want to work more to more than them.
[1:20:40] I'm going to sleep 3 hours so that I can have more output.
[1:20:44] And I find myself needing to just stop and be like, OK, but
[1:20:48] am I present in this moment? Because this moment is all I
[1:20:52] ever have. You don't have that photo really
[1:20:55] of what happened last month, no matter how epic it was.
[1:20:58] It's just a memory that gets changed in your mind.
[1:21:00] And it's temporary. It's fleeting, right?
[1:21:03] All you ever have is the present moment.
[1:21:05] And I'm realizing more and more how much you need to focus on
[1:21:09] being in that. Even something like before this
[1:21:11] podcast, we did a breath work with everyone.
[1:21:14] And to get started, I was pressing play and come on, let's
[1:21:18] do it guys, let's get cracking. We need to start this podcast.
[1:21:21] And it's like, that's not why you do a breath work.
[1:21:24] You do it to be in the moment and to have that good feeling
[1:21:28] whilst you're actually doing it. You don't do it for the
[1:21:31] consequent results. And I think it's the same with
[1:21:34] anything. It's the same with prayer or
[1:21:36] meditation. I say that someone who's not
[1:21:38] religious, So what the fuck would I know?
[1:21:39] But it's not about doing it for the result.
[1:21:43] It's about living life for that very moment and actually being
[1:21:48] indifferent to what the result is after that.
[1:21:51] It may be good, it may be bad, it might not go as planned, but
[1:21:55] you know that you truly are living the life that you want to
[1:21:58] live right there and then. No matter what people are saying
[1:22:00] online, no matter what the noise pulls you towards your content,
[1:22:05] in your very being, right there and then.
[1:22:08] Yeah, I think we all struggle with that, with being present
[1:22:11] because even me, I'll be in moments of my life where I'm
[1:22:14] like, I could have only dreamed of this, but I'm sitting there
[1:22:17] thinking about the next thing. What's the what's the next big
[1:22:20] thing that's going to happen or like, what are we going to do
[1:22:22] after this or what's the next step to success?
[1:22:25] I So I think we all struggle with that when it's like I'm
[1:22:28] sitting in something that I used to pray for.
[1:22:31] I'm sitting in a moment where if me four years ago would have
[1:22:35] seen this. You mean like, well, why are you
[1:22:37] thinking about the next thing? Can can't you just enjoy what
[1:22:40] you've prayed for? Can't you just enjoy what you've
[1:22:42] worked for? And it's a bit of entitlement,
[1:22:46] you know, thinking that we need more after everything that has
[1:22:52] we've prayed for has been given to us.
[1:22:55] But I think we all struggle with it.
[1:22:56] And maybe it's what what pushes us to succeed, Like maybe it's
[1:22:59] what motivates us to keep going is the constant pursuit of more.
[1:23:04] But at the same time, I think it's it's like a hamster wheel
[1:23:06] and it gets really exhausting as well.
[1:23:09] I haven't even thought of that. Entitlement blocks gratitude
[1:23:12] because you're always looking at the bigger mountain.
[1:23:17] Yeah, fuck, that's so obvious but so great.
[1:23:22] Yeah. That's totally it.
[1:23:25] You can't be grateful if you're constantly being shown more and
[1:23:28] more things that are even better that are specifically program
[1:23:31] based around the thing that you just experienced.
[1:23:34] The algorithm takes that and one upset.
[1:23:37] That's literally the whole point, right?
[1:23:40] So how are you going to be grateful for your life if you
[1:23:43] have a system that's actively working against you to make you
[1:23:47] redundant in regards to gratitude?
[1:23:50] Surrender and my, my relationship with God has helped
[1:23:55] me do that, knowing that everything that happens is in
[1:23:59] his will and constantly praying like God, let it be your will.
[1:24:02] And if it's not your will, don't allow it to happen.
[1:24:06] And so yes, it's, it could be some of the work that I put in,
[1:24:09] but who gave me the, the ideas for that?
[1:24:12] That's the skills to do the things that I do.
[1:24:15] He did. So it's not even out of my own
[1:24:18] doing. It's it's his work through me.
[1:24:21] And if I surrender to him and say, no matter what I want, I
[1:24:27] just want it to be your will, Well, then I think that it's
[1:24:29] easier to appreciate what I'm living in because I actually
[1:24:32] don't know what's going to happen next because it's an out
[1:24:35] of my control. Now there are some things that
[1:24:38] in my are in my control. I could gain weight if I wanted
[1:24:41] to. I could stop posting all
[1:24:43] together. I could just say forget it.
[1:24:46] But there's there's a lot of beauty and mystery and not
[1:24:52] knowing what's going to happen next and just being present in
[1:24:55] that moment that you've been given and not thinking about
[1:24:58] what's the next move I'm going to make, what is the next thing
[1:25:01] that I need to do? And just knowing that it's in
[1:25:03] his hands. Do you think surrendering to God
[1:25:05] is a more feminine or masculine trait?
[1:25:06] It's. Definitely a feminine trait, but
[1:25:09] again, I think both men and women have masculine and
[1:25:13] feminine traits. And for men, like submitting and
[1:25:16] surrendering to God is a feminine thing to do inherently,
[1:25:19] which is why I believe it's much harder for men to have that very
[1:25:24] emotional relationship with Christ.
[1:25:26] If you go to a women's Bible study, I mean, it's like like
[1:25:29] tears and super emotional and it's like God told me this and
[1:25:35] I'm just, you know, he's, I'm listening to his voice.
[1:25:38] Men's Bible studies are a little bit different.
[1:25:40] It's very logical, like I'll, I'll listen to some of my, my
[1:25:44] husband's sometimes and it's not the same as a woman's Bible
[1:25:47] study. So I think men have a harder
[1:25:49] time surrendering and submitting to God a lot of times because
[1:25:52] they have those natural leadership instincts where it's
[1:25:54] like everything is my fault. Everything is my responsibility.
[1:25:57] It's, it's in my control. And what that does is it makes
[1:26:02] you lose the mystery of God and what he's actually adding to
[1:26:05] your life because he's doing a lot of things behind the scenes
[1:26:08] that you're not seeing and creating this life for you.
[1:26:11] But you constantly want to be in control of that.
[1:26:13] And so you're not able to step back and surrender everything to
[1:26:17] him and have that peace. Talk to me more about how you
[1:26:20] can learn to surrender. How?
[1:26:22] How do you develop the skill of surrender?
[1:26:27] I mean, it's easier, I think, again, I think it's easier as a
[1:26:30] woman, but starting my day every single day with the word open
[1:26:34] and saying God, let it be your will and I surrender everything
[1:26:36] to you And knowing that in the back of my mind gives me peace
[1:26:41] because ultimately I'm not in control of everything.
[1:26:45] There are things out of my control or things that he's
[1:26:48] doing that I don't know yet. And that is that is peaceful to
[1:26:52] me, That is very calming to me. If everything was in my control
[1:26:56] and the way that I wanted it, I would not be sitting here.
[1:26:58] I would not be living in Scottsdale, I probably wouldn't
[1:27:01] be married if everything was under my control and the way
[1:27:05] that I thought my life was going to go.
[1:27:07] But I'm so thankful that I just surrendered everything to him
[1:27:11] and let him do his work through me.
[1:27:14] Otherwise, I'd be in a completely different predicament
[1:27:16] and I'd be the Lord of my own life.
[1:27:18] And when you're the God of your own life, it's always coming out
[1:27:21] of selfish desire. To pivot a little bit, I've seen
[1:27:24] you on a bunch of debates online, my famous ones.
[1:27:27] What have you learnt? You mentioned earlier that
[1:27:30] you've debated feminists and they kind of blame everything on
[1:27:32] capitalism. Are there any other things that
[1:27:35] have strengthened your beliefs that have weakened them from
[1:27:38] debating all of these different perspectives?
[1:27:41] I think, and I was, I was telling Chris Griffin this.
[1:27:45] I think what's really interesting is a lot of these
[1:27:46] feminists call themselves feminists because they believe
[1:27:49] that men and women are equal, but they don't know the history
[1:27:53] behind the feminist movement and why it's actually decaying
[1:27:55] society. And so two women came up to me
[1:27:58] during these debates, but we had a little break in between.
[1:28:01] They're like, where did you learn this?
[1:28:03] Like, I want to read about this. I'm going to study this.
[1:28:05] I didn't know any of this. I'm like, yeah, because it's not
[1:28:09] taught to you in school. It's something that you, it's
[1:28:10] the research that you have to do on your own because the feminist
[1:28:14] movement is always going to be praised when you're in high
[1:28:16] school or when you're in college with super liberal professors.
[1:28:20] So that was really interesting because you can tell that a lot
[1:28:23] of these women are not grounded in their values and beliefs.
[1:28:26] They're just kind of believing whatever they're told to
[1:28:29] believe. And then when that belief is
[1:28:31] challenged and they're not standing strong on anything, and
[1:28:35] then they're like, man, I guess I really should research these
[1:28:37] things. So that's been encouraging to me
[1:28:39] because I know that there is women who watch my debates who
[1:28:43] don't know any of this, and they would call themselves a
[1:28:45] feminist. Maybe I'm changing their minds
[1:28:47] or maybe I'm provoking them to research a little bit or read
[1:28:51] certain books. So that's motivating to me and
[1:28:54] helps me stand stronger in my beliefs.
[1:28:56] What was the last thing you changed your mind on?
[1:29:03] Oh, probably. Probably just political views.
[1:29:06] I think like less and less devotion to a politician or
[1:29:18] party, like kind of stepping away from that and seeing that
[1:29:21] it's all a theatrical show and it's not real.
[1:29:25] And So what can I do in my own life to change society versus
[1:29:30] relying on someone else to change that for me?
[1:29:32] That kind of goes back to what we were talking about, about
[1:29:34] people who are just obsessed with politics.
[1:29:36] They think that a president is going to come in and save them
[1:29:39] or change the economy or stop sending so much money to Israel,
[1:29:43] but in reality, it's not. They're not going to save you
[1:29:46] like you have to do all the work yourself.
[1:29:48] Were your thoughts on the recent endeavours that have gone on on
[1:29:52] Only Fans? I don't know if you've been in
[1:29:54] tune with the British law around Only Fans, but we've had a bunch
[1:29:57] of different stars rise to notoriety doing crazier and
[1:30:02] crazier stunts. Someone like Bonnie Blue
[1:30:04] sleeping with 1000 men in one day.
[1:30:06] I think before her it was Lily Phillips doing 100 in one day
[1:30:09] and they just keep kept on upping it and upping it and
[1:30:11] upping it. What do you think this is a
[1:30:14] reflection of? Do you think the reason why
[1:30:17] these only fans girls do so well is because their behaviours
[1:30:21] crazy and goes against society or do you think it's a
[1:30:26] reflection of a greater moral decay?
[1:30:28] I. Think it's a reflection of a
[1:30:30] greater moral decay and they get attention from the polarity it
[1:30:37] causes. Obviously.
[1:30:38] Because most people are like that's insane why are you
[1:30:41] sleeping with 1000 men in one day?
[1:30:43] I don't think a lot of people are actually supporting that but
[1:30:48] we allow it. If if men were super masculine
[1:30:52] and protective then they wouldn't be lining up to sleep
[1:30:55] with this moment after 999 other men have hit her like no one
[1:31:00] wants no masculine man wants that.
[1:31:02] Who's signing up for that? And if the women were virtuous,
[1:31:06] they wouldn't be on only fans, they would respect themselves a
[1:31:09] little bit more. So I think it's our society
[1:31:11] decaying as a whole. I really wanted to ask you this
[1:31:14] and I can get myself cancelled but I don't care.
[1:31:19] What would your advice be for a woman who's 35, who's unmarried,
[1:31:26] who doesn't have kids, and who's fine with pursuing her career?
[1:31:33] If you hate kids, don't have kids.
[1:31:35] If you don't want to have kids, don't have kids.
[1:31:38] If she is 35 pursuing her career and now realizes damn I really
[1:31:43] made a mistake and I wish I would have gotten married and
[1:31:45] had kids, then just go pursue that at 35.
[1:31:48] I don't think it's too late for you.
[1:31:50] I just. I know a woman who got married,
[1:31:51] got pregnant at 48 who lives in my hometown.
[1:31:54] I don't think it's too late for you.
[1:31:56] But what's sad is these very young women, these 20 year olds
[1:32:00] are looking up to maybe women who are 252627, who are like,
[1:32:06] enjoy your 20s, you know, don't get married.
[1:32:09] I'm having so much fun. I'm 25, I'm going out every
[1:32:11] weekend. I have this amazing career.
[1:32:14] I don't want kids. I don't want any responsibility.
[1:32:17] And so they're following in those footsteps.
[1:32:19] But little do they know, once that 25 year old turns 35, she's
[1:32:22] going to be changing her mind on a lot of things.
[1:32:25] And what women aren't. The advice that they're not
[1:32:28] receiving is from the 35 year old woman who's saying don't do
[1:32:32] that in your 20s. Go find a husband and and and
[1:32:35] prioritize family. You can always come back to your
[1:32:37] career. It's always going to be there.
[1:32:39] But finding a husband and kids won't always be there.
[1:32:42] You look at the stats around who wants kids and who doesn't, and
[1:32:46] the vast majority of people do. The people that end up
[1:32:49] childless, it's not because they wanted to be childless, It's
[1:32:51] because they did focus on other stuff and they maybe just
[1:32:55] weren't aware of the fact that the clock is ticking both for
[1:32:58] men and women. And it's quicker for women, but
[1:33:02] it's quicker than people would think for men too.
[1:33:04] I mean, I've spoken to Stephen J Shaw, who's one of the lead to
[1:33:06] demographers on this thing, and he makes the point that even if
[1:33:11] you can theoretically have kids when you're older as a man, you
[1:33:15] might not actually find someone that's up to your liking or
[1:33:19] that's the same age as you that that can have kids.
[1:33:21] So I think it's something for for both sexes to think about is
[1:33:26] the fact that sadly, we're humans, we're not perfect.
[1:33:31] We can't have everything exactly when we want it.
[1:33:34] We can have almost anything, but not all at once.
[1:33:39] And we kind of have to sacrifice different things at different
[1:33:41] points in time. I think that's the way I see it.
[1:33:44] Yeah, I, I, you can have everything, just not all at
[1:33:47] once. And it's a lie that women have
[1:33:49] been sold that they can have everything.
[1:33:53] They can have it all because you can't have it all.
[1:33:55] If you're going to do the whole, I'm enjoying my 20s thing, while
[1:33:59] you're really risking never having children once you get
[1:34:01] into your 30s and can't remember.
[1:34:04] I, I listened to that podcast and infertility is happening
[1:34:08] younger and younger way sooner than women think.
[1:34:11] And they underestimate that. And so if you're in your 20s and
[1:34:15] you want children and you want to get married, don't put it off
[1:34:19] because you're you're lessening your chances of that being a
[1:34:22] reality for you. It's a really helpful thing that
[1:34:25] I've done thanks to my friend from New York.
[1:34:28] He went out and did public interviews and he asked people
[1:34:30] this question. He was like, when do you want to
[1:34:33] have kids? And the ones that did want to
[1:34:35] have kids, they're like, maybe not until I'm like 34.
[1:34:39] It's pretty old age. OK, well, let's take 34.
[1:34:43] That's a pretty old age to have kids.
[1:34:44] Most people would want to have kids slightly before that.
[1:34:47] All right, well, you want to have been married for like,
[1:34:50] let's say 2 years, Three years. So that's 31.
[1:34:54] And before that you need to get engaged, so that's a year, so
[1:34:58] that's 30. Then before that, you maybe want
[1:35:00] to have been dating for, let's say, 2 years.
[1:35:04] OK, 28. OK, so you've been dating for
[1:35:07] two years, but before that you need to find the right partner.
[1:35:11] That's going to take a lot of time, a lot of missed
[1:35:13] opportunities or or opportunities that you take that
[1:35:16] don't work out. So let's say it takes 2 years,
[1:35:18] that's 26. That's not accounting for any
[1:35:21] long term relationships you have that look like they're going to
[1:35:24] work out. You're four years in and then
[1:35:27] they end. If you have one of those, then
[1:35:29] it becomes 2221. Do any shit.
[1:35:33] That's me. I need to be looking for the one
[1:35:36] and it hits you like shit. I don't have that much time and
[1:35:42] I wouldn't want anyone to rush into having kids prematurely
[1:35:46] because they're panicked. That's certainly not what I want
[1:35:49] to do, but I think it's worth playing that game with yourself
[1:35:52] mentally or asking when you want to have kids.
[1:35:55] Like for me, that example almost lands on my age now, and that's
[1:35:58] 34. I want to have kids before that,
[1:36:00] so it's like it's even younger. So I think doing that thought
[1:36:04] experiment is pretty helpful for people.
[1:36:06] Yeah, being able to sit in silence and actually realize
[1:36:10] what you want. Because if you're a woman who
[1:36:14] never has time to really self reflect and your parents are
[1:36:18] telling you to go to college and pursue this degree and then get
[1:36:22] into your career, and then once you're financially stable,
[1:36:25] whatever that means, then you look for a husband.
[1:36:28] OK, well by that time, maybe they're 242526.
[1:36:33] OK, well then you got to find the man.
[1:36:35] Then you got to date him. They didn't get engaged, then
[1:36:37] get married. By that time, you're like 32.
[1:36:40] And so I think if women were honest with themselves and said,
[1:36:44] yeah, I do want a career, but I also want a family and kids.
[1:36:49] And I think that that's going to be worthwhile for me, you know,
[1:36:53] prioritizing first. I can always come back to a
[1:36:55] career. So you have your entire life to
[1:36:58] have a career, but you don't have your entire life to pursue
[1:37:02] a family because eventually the dating pool is going to shrink
[1:37:05] as you get older. And then you may have trouble
[1:37:07] with fertility. You're more likely to the older
[1:37:10] you get or you find someone that just has a ton of baggage
[1:37:13] because they're in their late 30s or 40s.
[1:37:17] And so I think we have to be honest about what do we actually
[1:37:20] prioritize? Is it a career?
[1:37:22] Because my parents are telling me to do so in social media,
[1:37:24] saying that's what I should pursue.
[1:37:26] Or is it? Is it actually that I do want a
[1:37:28] family someday and I need to start looking and to create that
[1:37:32] now? Yeah, I'm keen to see if people
[1:37:35] can put better policy in place for mothers as well.
[1:37:38] There's this whole perpetuation of the gender pay gap that still
[1:37:41] goes on, and it's complete bullshit.
[1:37:43] Like the gender pay gap doesn't exist until you become a mother.
[1:37:47] No it does. It's the motherhood penalty.
[1:37:50] You can't work and you also don't get compensated for it.
[1:37:53] And of course, you perhaps shouldn't be entitled to this
[1:37:57] free full time wage as a mother. Like, why not?
[1:38:02] Maybe you should. If our population's decreasing,
[1:38:05] I think there should be more measures and incentives put in
[1:38:07] place. Again, people's alarm bells are
[1:38:10] going to go off. Like incentives.
[1:38:12] Oh my God, we're manipulating people into having kids.
[1:38:15] Like no. No, I think that the the
[1:38:17] financial part is definitely a concern.
[1:38:21] If a, if a woman has to take off all this time from work and
[1:38:25] they're relying on a double income household, which most
[1:38:28] people do in today's economy, and then you're losing half of
[1:38:32] that income. Maybe she wants to stay home
[1:38:34] with her child for an entire year.
[1:38:35] I mean, God forbid, like she's with her baby for a year.
[1:38:39] I think there does need to be some sort of incentive because
[1:38:43] the financial part is definitely a concern.
[1:38:45] It's harder for people to have bigger families because of the
[1:38:51] the rising cost in the US. They used to do this thing in
[1:38:54] the Soviet Union. I, I learned this in history in
[1:38:57] school. I think if a woman had five
[1:38:59] kids, she would get a medal and she'd be called a mother hero or
[1:39:03] something. So they have like little treats
[1:39:07] and little benefits for different things that supported
[1:39:10] pro family life. And I don't think offering
[1:39:13] someone a shiny medal now is is going to solve the decreasing.
[1:39:17] Maybe a paycheck, we'll say that.
[1:39:19] But yeah, I completely agree. I think there does need to be
[1:39:22] incentives from others. I was speaking with James
[1:39:24] Fishback, who's running for Florida.
[1:39:26] And Florida right now has no, almost no maternity leave.
[1:39:31] I think it's like 6 weeks at most at some companies.
[1:39:36] And he just announced paid maternity leave for three
[1:39:39] months, which even then that's not a lot of time, but it we're
[1:39:44] getting somewhere. And so I hope that eventually
[1:39:48] that can be a thing. And I hope that eventually the
[1:39:52] wage gap between foreign workers that are coming in and actual
[1:39:56] hard working Americans is not much.
[1:39:59] And so if the husbands are getting paid what they actually
[1:40:04] should be getting paid. Then maybe there wouldn't be so
[1:40:08] much pressure on the wife to keep working and then once she
[1:40:12] has a child she can just stop working and go back after a few
[1:40:15] years. But the problem is no one's
[1:40:19] being paid the right amount for for a three people to be able to
[1:40:23] sustain a family. What do you mean by decreasing
[1:40:26] the difference in wages between foreign workers and Americans?
[1:40:30] So foreign workers and they're bringing a lot of these
[1:40:33] immigrants in because it's cheap labor, but the Americans aren't
[1:40:37] getting paid much more. Minimum wage is super low
[1:40:40] compared to what the cost is. And so if we could somehow
[1:40:46] change what the husbands are making, then there wouldn't be
[1:40:50] so much pressure to have this double income household.
[1:40:54] But no one's making enough. Most people aren't making enough
[1:40:56] to to get by. They're living paycheck to
[1:40:59] paycheck. They can't afford a house.
[1:41:00] A young couple can't afford a house because it the prices are
[1:41:04] still out the roof. You can't get anything nice
[1:41:07] under three $400,000 in the state of Florida where I'm from.
[1:41:12] That's where I'm thinking, and that's a tragic, honestly, that
[1:41:16] a young couple can't buy a home in order to raise a family.
[1:41:21] And if they can't buy a home, then why would they get married?
[1:41:24] And if they can't get married, then why would they have
[1:41:26] children? So I think the financial
[1:41:28] constraints is a is a real issue do.
[1:41:30] You think men and women can be just friends?
[1:41:34] Depends on the situation. I believe that if I have a guy
[1:41:41] friend, my husband is going to be friends with him too.
[1:41:43] I'm not going to go grab coffee with Joe by myself just to hang
[1:41:48] out with my guy friend when I have a husband.
[1:41:51] I also don't think that you can be attracted to someone and be
[1:41:55] friends with them. I think that is a very slippery
[1:41:57] slope. So yeah, they, I guess they
[1:42:02] can't, they can't be friends without the couple being friends
[1:42:06] with them. Great example, our friendship,
[1:42:10] friendship with Chris. Noah's also friends with you
[1:42:13] guys. I would never be like, yeah, I'm
[1:42:15] going to grab coffee with Elliot today just alone.
[1:42:18] We're going to go grab dinner afterwards.
[1:42:20] I think that's weird, but I know a lot of couples that do that.
[1:42:23] The wife will go grab coffee with her guy friend that the
[1:42:27] husband is not friends with. I'm like it's that's kind of
[1:42:30] weird. Why didn't she want to just be
[1:42:31] friends with the husband as well?
[1:42:33] So that's that's my take on it. I've had this conversation so
[1:42:37] many times recently. I find it so fascinating because
[1:42:40] I completely understand where you're coming from and I think
[1:42:44] like I think men and women can just be friends.
[1:42:46] So like I disagree with you, but I think with my belief it comes
[1:42:52] with running a risk a lot of the time.
[1:42:55] And like to take it into an example, I think I could go grab
[1:43:00] a coffee with Jane and I think I could be just friends with her
[1:43:05] because there would be other things that don't align to the
[1:43:08] point of me trying something on with her, right?
[1:43:12] I just think that's true. I, I don't think it's like wired
[1:43:15] into us that even though we are attracted to the opposite sex
[1:43:19] and that person is a member of them, doesn't mean that we're
[1:43:21] going to be attracted to every single person in opposite sex.
[1:43:25] There might be someone that doesn't click, they don't flip
[1:43:28] that romantic lever in your brain, but you still enjoy their
[1:43:32] company platonically, right? Just like you can hang out with
[1:43:35] your guy friends and no lever flips.
[1:43:38] Now, obviously you'd hang out with your guy friends and no
[1:43:41] romantic lever flips if you're straight because you're
[1:43:44] straight. But I think that holds true in
[1:43:48] certain situations with the opposite sex where you can have
[1:43:51] people for different reasons in your life.
[1:43:53] You can enjoy their company for different reasons.
[1:43:56] And I've experienced in my life loads of lovely friendships with
[1:44:00] like attractive women who I never did anything with or tried
[1:44:06] it on with. And, and I, I don't know what
[1:44:08] was going through their mind, but I, from my personal
[1:44:12] experience, like haven't seen any issues with it.
[1:44:14] I do see that people ruin marriages from running that
[1:44:18] risk. They go out for dinner and then
[1:44:21] they let their hedonistic desires take hold of them, which
[1:44:23] is awful. And it actually makes sense for
[1:44:26] me to like, just cancel out that risk completely, which is what
[1:44:31] the more conservative worldview does.
[1:44:33] Like maybe that's actually worth it.
[1:44:35] If you do a cost benefit analysis you're like OK my
[1:44:39] worldview here, benefit potential real nice friendships
[1:44:44] and interactions with loads of women who I'll meet in my life
[1:44:47] and get on well with risk ruining absolutely everything in
[1:44:52] my life or someone else's life. Like that seems like quite a bad
[1:44:56] trade off, but then for you guys, it's like benefit strong
[1:45:02] stable marriage, which is at the root of everything and not
[1:45:06] risking anything on that front and ruining it.
[1:45:10] But then the trade off is potentially forgoing like good
[1:45:14] connections platonically with members of the opposite sex.
[1:45:18] When I look, when I put it like that, which is a super autistic
[1:45:21] way to lay out like friendships, but I think like helpful, it
[1:45:25] makes sense why you would have your worldview, especially if
[1:45:29] you don't think that, yeah, men and women can just be friends
[1:45:33] without someone doing something like that.
[1:45:35] Cost benefit. I think it's, it's pretty
[1:45:38] fucking logical. And I just, I think you can hold
[1:45:42] a friendship without someone crossing the line.
[1:45:45] I think it's different if you're single too, because you don't
[1:45:48] have this other woman at home while you're going out to grab
[1:45:51] coffee with another woman. If you want a relationship,
[1:45:54] you'd bring your girlfriend to also grab coffee with this this
[1:45:58] friend, right? Same thing with us.
[1:46:00] If we have a guy friend. If I have a guy friend, it's
[1:46:03] also his guy friend. Like my girlfriends also know
[1:46:06] him and 'cause we're one flesh, like all of our friends are kind
[1:46:11] of intermingled with both of us. They know both of us.
[1:46:13] They're not just going to know one of us.
[1:46:15] And of course, I'm not going to go grab coffee with a guy.
[1:46:18] If I was single, it'd be a different story.
[1:46:20] But I think when it comes to relationships, protecting that
[1:46:24] relationship is worth everything.
[1:46:27] So bringing my husband to coffee like that's, that's always going
[1:46:32] to be a rule for us. It's so funny speaking about
[1:46:36] this in relation to us all, but I love it.
[1:46:39] You're the best person to ask about this.
[1:46:41] What would your criteria be for being able to be friends with
[1:46:45] someone of the opposite sex? They don't have to be friends
[1:46:47] with both of us. You can't just like one of us
[1:46:50] and not the other. Like we're going everywhere
[1:46:53] together. So sorry you're stuck with both
[1:46:55] of us and every single relationship, friendship that
[1:46:59] we've made since being married. We've met them together usually
[1:47:04] or if he meets someone then they'll invite them over and
[1:47:08] then they meet me. So the friendship is always with
[1:47:11] both of us, not with one of us. That's my criteria.
[1:47:15] But we've never had an issue come up where it's like, yeah, I
[1:47:17] like Savannah, but I don't really like Noah or I like Noah.
[1:47:20] I don't really like Savannah because we're so aligned on
[1:47:22] everything and we have the same values and a lot of the same
[1:47:25] character traits. And so I think that that makes
[1:47:28] it easier because you just got to like both of us like, sorry,
[1:47:31] we're a package deal. If if if you don't have a an
[1:47:34] aligned relationship, it's going to be a nightmare because you're
[1:47:37] going to be way different to each other and.
[1:47:39] People. Oh yeah.
[1:47:40] Like certain traits in you but not on the other.
[1:47:42] I think it's really important when you're dating someone to
[1:47:44] bring them around your friend group and to see how they
[1:47:47] interact with everyone because I know people who like, I like one
[1:47:53] person in the relationship, the other person not so great to be
[1:47:56] around. So it's important to see like,
[1:47:58] OK, how are they going to commute?
[1:47:59] Communicate with all of my friends?
[1:48:02] Are they going to fit in? Well, do does everything align?
[1:48:05] Because like, this is my group of friends and I'm marrying you.
[1:48:08] Well then I'm also bringing you into my life and vice versa.
[1:48:13] Do you believe in girls trips or boys trips away for people in
[1:48:17] relationships? It depends on where you're going
[1:48:19] and what you're doing. Tell me more.
[1:48:21] If it's a Bible study, girls trip, retreat, go for it.
[1:48:26] If it's a Bachelorette party where we're going to just be
[1:48:30] going out every single night, I'm not going.
[1:48:33] Just personally, I don't want to put myself in those situations.
[1:48:36] And I think girls trips where they're like, yeah, we just all
[1:48:39] need to really get away from our husbands this weekend.
[1:48:42] Gosh, like, I'm just so tired of him.
[1:48:44] I need to go on a girls trip. What?
[1:48:47] Like what? Why are you tired of him?
[1:48:49] Imagine a guy being like, gosh, I'm just so tired of my deadbeat
[1:48:53] wife. I'm going to go on a guys trip
[1:48:55] because these women will say it in front of their their husbands
[1:48:57] faces. So yeah, I guess it depends on
[1:49:00] what's going on and the girls and guys trips.
[1:49:02] Are you going to strip clubs? Are you going to bars?
[1:49:05] Are you hanging out with other guys?
[1:49:06] Are the majority of the girls in this group single and you're the
[1:49:09] only one that's married? Because that can be a slippery
[1:49:11] slope. Are they all talking bad about
[1:49:13] their husbands the entire time? Is it a bunch of single guys
[1:49:17] going to a strip club and you're a married guy and you know that
[1:49:19] your wife wouldn't be happy with that?
[1:49:20] Like it's, it's not putting yourself in situations where
[1:49:24] your loyalty and integrity could be questioned.
[1:49:27] What's the one message you wish Gen.
[1:49:29] Z heard more of? That's such a good question.
[1:49:37] I think bringing Christ back at the center of their lives.
[1:49:40] I think a lot of Gen. Z ers don't have purpose.
[1:49:45] They don't have meaning. They are lacking that grit and
[1:49:51] like that, that drive to to do something with their lives and
[1:49:54] to have purpose. But if they had that
[1:49:56] relationship with Christ and with themselves, they would see
[1:50:00] that they're on this this planet for a God-given purpose and to
[1:50:05] to live that to the fullest. Savannah, thanks for coming on.
[1:50:09] Thank you for having me where? Can people find more of your
[1:50:11] work? I'm on Instagram at Savannah
[1:50:13] Faith Stone, TikTok, Savannah faith stone.
[1:50:16] That's it. YouTube Savannah Faith Stone.
[1:50:19] Yeah, I don't post on there yet, but on there too.
[1:50:23] And make sure to check out Savannah's work.
[1:50:25] She's one of the few people deploying logic adequately in a
[1:50:29] modern era. So it's nice to see it's it's
[1:50:31] refreshing. I'm a big fan of you and, and
[1:50:34] you guys, absolute legends. And make sure to subscribe to
[1:50:37] the Channel 5 Stars on all audio platforms, and we'll see you in
[1:50:41] the next episode.

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