# When Giving Your Child Control Backfires (Try This)

An episode of [BratBusters Parenting Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1770136136), 17 Mar 2026, 38 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2404296/episodes/18775837-when-giving-your-child-control-backfires-try-this.mp3

#151 In this episode, Lisa discusses how much control she thinks children should have. She covers toddlers, children, and teenagers, along with her thoughts on removing sporting games as discipline, giving toddlers too many choices, and whether or not she thinks children can manipulate. Lastly, in this episode, Lisa addresses seven listener questions, discussing how many choices you should give a toddler, the best way to start the BratBusters Behaviour Board with a 3-year-old, how to handle 16-month-old tantrums while waiting for food, the proper response when a 3-year-old calls out for cuddles in the middle of the night, how to manage 17-month-old tantrums when mom can’t pick her up, what to do when a 16-month-old gets upset because he can’t get his parents to follow him, and how to navigate a situation where a 4-year-old doesn’t want to go to school. Thank you for joining us! Courses: Toddler BratBusters Bootcamp (16-35 Months) BratBusters Bootcamp (Ages 3-12) Learn More: BratBusters Behaviour Board (Plus Toddler Basics) No-Cost Mini Course Private Coaching Podcast Questions: Have a question you'd like to submit for a chance to be featured in an upcoming podcast episode? Click Here to Submit 🎙️ Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Lisa Bunnage is a Parenting Coach, mom and grandmother. Lisa is not a licensed psychologist or counsellor. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. For a full disclaimer, please visit bratbusters.com/disclaimer

## Chapters

- 0:00 Introduction to Children Having Control
- 1:50 How Much Control Should a Toddler Have?
- 3:21 Giving a Toddler Too Many Choices
- 5:06 How Much Control Should a Child (3-12) Have?
- 6:25 Lisa’s Thoughts on Removing Child From a Sports Game as Discipline
- 9:45 How Much Control Should a Teenager Have?
- 14:23 Personal Story: Email Send Out
- 16:37 Listener Question 1: How Many Choices Should You Give a Toddler?
- 20:09 Listener Question 2: How to Start BratBusters Behaviour Board With 3-Year-Old?
- 21:49 Listener Question 3: 16-Month-Old Tantrums While Waiting For Food?
- 24:28 Listener Question 4: 3-Year-Old Calling Out For Cuddles in the Middle of the Night?
- 26:59 Listener Question 5: 17-Month-Old Tantrums When Mom Can’t Pick Her Up?
- 28:46 Listener Question 6: 16-Month-Old Gets Upset When He Can’t Get His Parents to Follow Him?
- 30:28 Listener Question 7: 4-Year-Old Doesn’t Want to Go to School?
- 33:15 Giving Children Control as a Parent
- 33:48 Personal Story: School Uniforms Made Lisa’s Life Easier
- 35:12 Lisa’s Thoughts on Saying Children Can Manipulate

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