# Holiday Joy & Eustress: Run Run Rudolph: Presence over Presents

An episode of [The Middle School Mary Poppins Podcast](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1769915228), 16 Dec 2025, 23 min.

Audio: https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/api.spreaker.com/download/episode/75813487/429946072_44100_1_f0dfdbf3b215e0b2.mp3

Happy holidays from Middle School Mary Poppins! In this heart-centered episode, Suzanne M. Swain, EdS, LMSW—your friendly neighborhood kid therapist—dives into a powerful holiday homophone: presents vs. presence. One is wrapped. The other is felt.Suzanne explores why time, attention, and shared experiences often mean more to kids than expensive gifts—and how families can use the holiday season to build gratitude, empathy, and real connection. From low-cost, high-impact traditions (like handmade gifts, wishing stars, love-heart ornaments, and family service projects) to practical ways kids can give back, learn life skills, and feel genuinely valued, this episode is packed with meaningful ideas you can actually use. You’ll also hear personal updates, including a shout-out from Lieutenant Steve and Suzanne’s very real (and very cool) journey into cyborg territory with a robot-assisted, 3D-printed knee replacement—happening the day this episode drops.If you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday pressure, this episode is your reminder that kids want presence over presents—and that the simplest moments often become the most lasting memories. Contact Suzanne Swain: Email: suzanneswain@gmail.com Facebook: Suzanne Swain Send Suzanne a Question or Comment:Support the show Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-middle-school-mary-poppins-podcast--7467210/support. ☂️ CONNECT WITH THE MIDDLE SCHOOL MARY POPPINS PODCAST™ Website • Episodes • Resources • More https://msmarypoppins.com 🎧 Listen and follow The Middle School Mary Poppins Podcast™ wherever you get your podcasts. 📺 YouTube https://youtube.com/@middleschoolmarypoppinspodcast 💌 CONTACT Media • Speaking • Sponsorships • Advertising • Brand Partnerships suzanneswain@gmail.com Listener correspondence & messages for Lieutenant Steve 🐾 dearstevemsmp@gmail.com The Middle School Mary Poppins Podcast™ is independently produced. Partnerships are considered based on mission alignment, relevance, and appropriateness for young people, families, educators, and schools. Stop. Regulate. Listen. ☂️ Helping adults understand the kids in the middle. © The Middle School Mary Poppins Podcast™

## Transcript

[0:08] Speaker 1: Well, happy holidays and welcome to Middle School Mary Poppins.
[0:12] Speaker 2: I am Suzanne M.
[0:13] Speaker 1: Swain, EDS LMSW, and I am your friendly neighborhood kid
[0:17] Speaker 1: therapist that works in the schools. So today's topic we're
[0:22] Speaker 1: going to talk about is a homophone, presence versus presence. P-R-E-S-E-N-T-S,
[0:29] Speaker 1: which means gifts, or presents, P-R-E-S-E-N-C-E.
[0:34] Speaker 2: Which means time and attention. Both are gifts. Both are homophones.
[0:41] Speaker 2: But we're going to talk about how you.
[0:43] Speaker 1: Can make more quality time to be your Christmas this
[0:47] Speaker 1: year or holiday. So We want to basically just try
[0:52] Speaker 1: to remember that we have an opportunity through the holidays
[0:55] Speaker 1: to teach gratitude and empathy and perspective to kids.
[1:00] Speaker 2: You can try the one-to-one.
[1:01] Speaker 1: Ratio where for every toy that they receive, they give
[1:04] Speaker 1: one away.
[1:05] Speaker 2: For older kids, you can do one to two.
[1:09] Speaker 1: For older kids, you can maybe help them volunteer some
[1:11] Speaker 1: time or make handmade gifts for people. They can donate
[1:14] Speaker 1: money that they've made to a charitable cause, buy a
[1:17] Speaker 1: bag of dog food, things like that. There's so many
[1:19] Speaker 1: things that people can do. But I made some lists
[1:21] Speaker 1: of ideas and I wanted to share them with you.
[1:24] Speaker 1: But the first thing I want to share with you
[1:26] Speaker 1: is first a hello from Lieutenant Steve because he's laying
[1:29] Speaker 1: right next to me and he's got his chin up
[1:31] Speaker 1: on this pillow.
[1:33] Speaker 2: And so he says hi. He's doing great. And he's
[1:36] Speaker 2: going to be a nurse really soon.
[1:38] Speaker 1: Folks, on the day that you get this podcast will
[1:42] Speaker 1: be the day that I'm going to turn into a cyborg. Yeah,
[1:46] Speaker 1: I said it.
[1:47] Speaker 2: A cyborg.
[1:48] Speaker 1: They're going to give me a left knee replacement, and
[1:51] Speaker 1: I'm going to get a 3D printed knee.
[1:54] Speaker 2: But wait, there's more. The surgery is going to be
[1:57] Speaker 2: done via robot. Cool! So excited.
[2:02] Speaker 1: So, I am feeling a lot of you stress about that.
[2:04] Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I think it's going to be really cool.
[2:07] Speaker 2: I have questions. Do I get to pick the color?
[2:10] Speaker 2: Can I have a copy? You know, come on! Let's go!
[2:13] Speaker 2: Let's go! So.
[2:16] Speaker 2: But it'll be the day that this podcast comes out.
[2:18] Speaker 1: So I really appreciate any positive thoughts that you have
[2:22] Speaker 1: and sure do appreciate it. If you'd like to visit
[2:25] Speaker 1: over to the site, msmerrypoppins.com. I do have a GoFundMe page.
[2:30] Speaker 1: It's sort of like my little tip jar. If you
[2:32] Speaker 1: have the means to help donate to this non... I
[2:36] Speaker 1: don't put any advertising or anything on this podcast. I
[2:39] Speaker 1: try to keep it as honest as possible. But if
[2:42] Speaker 1: you have the means and you feel like you'd like
[2:43] Speaker 1: to donate, I'm trying to keep it like PBS. where
[2:46] Speaker 1: you just donate according to what you feel that you may.
[2:51] Speaker 2: Be able to do. So that's fine.
[2:53] Speaker 1: Mostly I'm here just about talking about the holidays and
[2:56] Speaker 1: presents versus presents, but the idea of really building on gratitude, empathy,
[3:02] Speaker 1: and the perspectives from adults to children. So kids can
[3:09] Speaker 1: really do a lot during the holiday season, and it
[3:12] Speaker 1: also helps people to stay busy but in a positive way.
[3:15] Speaker 1: you know, a positive way and that has so many
[3:18] Speaker 1: psychological benefits. You know, it reduces entitlement, which can be
[3:22] Speaker 1: a really big thing because kids these days, they have
[3:24] Speaker 1: no concept of what anything costs.
[3:26] Speaker 2: Kids, you're not probably.
[3:27] Speaker 1: Getting the Xbox or whatever video game thing that's like
[3:30] Speaker 1: $ 500 for the holidays. If you do, I sincerely hope
[3:34] Speaker 1: you write a thank you card to everyone that may
[3:37] Speaker 1: have contributed to that thing because those are really expensive.
[3:41] Speaker 1: So maybe just like they, you know, I'd love the
[3:45] Speaker 1: adults to do more things with presents or being present,
[3:49] Speaker 1: just like you could as well.
[3:50] Speaker 2: Why don't you donate cleaning time? How about make a.
[3:53] Speaker 1: Coupon for mowing the lawn if that's something that you do?
[3:57] Speaker 1: You know, consider your love languages and that, you know,
[4:01] Speaker 1: material things don't really matter that much.
[4:03] Speaker 2: If you have a video game system that's perfectly fine,
[4:05] Speaker 2: just keep it. save people money.
[4:08] Speaker 1: You know, maybe that's the gift you're giving them is
[4:10] Speaker 1: to not have to worry about paying for things like that.
[4:13] Speaker 1: So it, you know, it reduces their entitlement and increases
[4:16] Speaker 1: overall happiness because they feel like they've done something that
[4:19] Speaker 1: really makes a difference.
[4:20] Speaker 2: My eighth graders were so charitable.
[4:23] Speaker 1: We designed, we read Diary of Anne Frank and we
[4:27] Speaker 1: built a butterfly garden to represent the children. And they
[4:31] Speaker 1: are so helpful, so helpful. And they're You know, it
[4:36] Speaker 1: was stressful, but that was a eustress. So that was
[4:39] Speaker 1: some good stress. And this time of year, we have,
[4:42] Speaker 1: oh my gosh, so much eustress. Like you're in a
[4:45] Speaker 1: great mood, you know, the lights, it's so twinkly and everybody's,
[4:49] Speaker 1: you know, in their cute little sweaters and everything. And
[4:52] Speaker 1: you want something nice, warm coffee or what have you, tea,
[4:57] Speaker 1: whatever you drink. And it's just kind of a magical
[5:00] Speaker 1: time of year where I feel like people are a
[5:02] Speaker 1: little kinder and people are more willing to spend time
[5:05] Speaker 1: with others.
[5:06] Speaker 2: So, you know, I have eustress.
[5:08] Speaker 1: So eustress is basically, you know, positive stress that motivates
[5:11] Speaker 1: and energizes us. I always think of eustress as sort
[5:14] Speaker 1: of like when joy and anger have a ball that
[5:18] Speaker 1: mixes but not entirely, so it's sort of swirly. So
[5:21] Speaker 1: it's the opposite of distress, of course, you know, and
[5:23] Speaker 1: that's kind of that negative overwhelming stress.
[5:25] Speaker 2: That people feel.
[5:27] Speaker 1: So like examples, okay, so some examples of eustress in kids.
[5:31] Speaker 1: So like it Excitement for planning a gift for someone
[5:35] Speaker 1: special or, you know, creative challenge of making ornaments or
[5:40] Speaker 1: making a decoration or they're getting excited about a family tradition,
[5:44] Speaker 1: you know, grandma's apple pie or maybe learning a new
[5:47] Speaker 1: skill like baking cookies with, you know, with gran or grandpa.
[5:51] Speaker 2: There's always options.
[5:52] Speaker 1: So, but you stress for adults, you know, some good
[5:55] Speaker 1: stress type of things. I hope you all feel me here.
[5:58] Speaker 2: So let me know. Let me know. Suzanne Swain at gmail.com.
[6:02] Speaker 2: You feel me? You feel me?
[6:04] Speaker 1: The satisfying rush of organizing a meaningful family activity.
[6:09] Speaker 2: Is that a satisfying rush for you? Hopefully. Hopefully.
[6:12] Speaker 1: But you can plan charitable activities. You can, you know,
[6:17] Speaker 1: create special memories, come up with something on your own
[6:20] Speaker 1: that is a tradition that you'd like to try. Maybe
[6:22] Speaker 1: it's making your own hot chocolate from scratch or oatmeal
[6:26] Speaker 1: cookies from scratch.
[6:27] Speaker 2: For that matter. So, Just teaching kids new life.
[6:30] Speaker 1: Skills are really important, and it's something they take with them. But,
[6:36] Speaker 1: I mean, not all holiday stress is bad. Some pressure
[6:39] Speaker 1: creates really beautiful memories and personal growth, but it's got
[6:43] Speaker 1: to be purposeful, and it's got to be manageable. There
[6:47] Speaker 1: needs to be a point to why am I learning this?
[6:49] Speaker 2: What's the point?
[6:51] Speaker 1: But if it's something that they see that they can utilize,
[6:53] Speaker 1: like doing the laundry, that's pretty easy. they can become
[6:57] Speaker 1: more self-sufficient and earn your respect. So what I've been
[7:02] Speaker 1: doing this week with the kiddos is I had them
[7:04] Speaker 1: make two gifts for family members that they wanted to
[7:10] Speaker 1: give something to but maybe couldn't afford, and then they
[7:12] Speaker 1: got to make their own what I call wishing stars.
[7:16] Speaker 2: So lately I've seen a couple.
[7:17] Speaker 1: Of crickets in the schools that I've been in, and
[7:20] Speaker 1: I'm convinced I'm being stalked by Jiminy Crickets. So we're
[7:23] Speaker 1: going full Pinocchio here with the When You Wish Upon
[7:25] Speaker 1: A Star. I'm not singing because the world don't need it.
[7:28] Speaker 1: Y'all don't need to hear that, okay? But in any case,
[7:31] Speaker 1: When You Wish Upon A Star.
[7:34] Speaker 2: Sing it.
[7:35] Speaker 1: So I had the kids make themselves wishing stars. So
[7:38] Speaker 1: what I did is I got a six-pack at the
[7:40] Speaker 1: local dollar store, basically, and some quarter-inch ribbon and some
[7:46] Speaker 1: craft glue. And so I cut several pieces of ribbon together. from,
[7:52] Speaker 1: you know, the ribbon roll, and then made little, almost
[7:54] Speaker 1: like an ornament out of it. Now, obviously, I have
[7:57] Speaker 1: kids of all ethnic, religious, social, socioeconomic backgrounds, so I
[8:04] Speaker 1: don't know what they celebrate at their house, and I'm
[8:06] Speaker 1: not going to speculate, but the wishing star is a
[8:09] Speaker 1: very non, you know, holiday-oriented thing. It's just something that's
[8:13] Speaker 1: kind of cute. So the kids, you know, use the
[8:15] Speaker 1: wooden star ornament, and they use markers, and most, y'all,
[8:21] Speaker 1: By the way, excuse.
[8:22] Speaker 2: Me, I'm going to tap, tap, tap on this one.
[8:23] Speaker 1: Do you know how many kids I had to give
[8:25] Speaker 1: markers to this week because they didn't have any markers
[8:27] Speaker 1: at home?
[8:29] Speaker 2: Come on now.
[8:31] Speaker 1: Also, they were very impressed by having the paintbrush markers
[8:34] Speaker 1: as well as.
[8:34] Speaker 2: The chisel chip, you know, two-sided type. Get them some
[8:39] Speaker 2: nice markers. You know, do that. Order them off, you know,
[8:42] Speaker 2: your favorite low-cost site. But anyway... So the kids decorate
[8:47] Speaker 2: the stars for.
[8:48] Speaker 1: The rooms and hanging up in their bedroom or wherever
[8:51] Speaker 1: they near where they sleep. It's sort of like a
[8:53] Speaker 1: dream catcher. But it's a place where at night they can,
[8:56] Speaker 1: you know, wish upon a star and express something that
[8:59] Speaker 1: they really hope for. It helps to build the sense
[9:01] Speaker 1: of hope. I mean, you know, hopes and dreams are good.
[9:04] Speaker 1: We don't want to crush children's hopes. And I think
[9:07] Speaker 1: as soon as we start doing that, we're really harming people.
[9:10] Speaker 1: And we're going to change our society just with hope.
[9:13] Speaker 1: you know, absolutely no empathy. And we don't want that,
[9:15] Speaker 1: of course. You know, we want people to be empathic. So,
[9:19] Speaker 1: you know, you could always, you know, ask them, you know,
[9:22] Speaker 1: what are you wishing for? Even though it's private, but
[9:24] Speaker 1: they're not supposed to necessarily tell. But, you know, you
[9:27] Speaker 1: can always ask your kiddos, like, what are you wishing for?
[9:29] Speaker 1: Or make one for yourself. You know, have an adult
[9:30] Speaker 1: wishing star. Make, you know, both of you make one.
[9:33] Speaker 1: All of you make one. But what kind of good
[9:37] Speaker 1: things are worth wishing for?
[9:40] Speaker 2: So there's that.
[9:41] Speaker 1: The other craft that they were making were these love
[9:44] Speaker 1: heart ornaments. So I found these heart-shaped wooden block kind
[9:47] Speaker 1: of things and, once again, put ribbon on the back
[9:51] Speaker 1: and glued it and turned them into ornaments. So, in
[9:54] Speaker 1: this case, it was a little bit more Christmas-oriented, but,
[9:57] Speaker 1: it's really something you could just hang anywhere. So they
[10:00] Speaker 1: were able to take markers, but I had them, with
[10:03] Speaker 1: a permanent marker, write the name of someone that they
[10:05] Speaker 1: truly love that they don't have an opportunity to say,
[10:08] Speaker 1: I love you to enough. So something where they could
[10:11] Speaker 1: keep it. So on the back, I had them write
[10:14] Speaker 1: their name and 2025 so that way they could.
[10:17] Speaker 2: Remember it and whatnot. But the kids had a ball
[10:19] Speaker 2: coloring these.
[10:20] Speaker 1: It was like, I want to make one for me, Ma.
[10:22] Speaker 1: I want to make one. The grannies are winning this week.
[10:24] Speaker 1: I mean, everybody wanted to make something for Grandma. So
[10:27] Speaker 1: it's Granny Week.
[10:29] Speaker 2: Go, Granny. Get it, girl.
[10:30] Speaker 1: So thank you for your service, Grandmas. So they just
[10:35] Speaker 1: personalized the heart, basically. Um, some of them did it
[10:39] Speaker 1: for teachers. Uh, some did it for their siblings, which
[10:42] Speaker 1: I thought was kind of cool. Um, one did it
[10:45] Speaker 1: for someone in the community that they admire. So you
[10:49] Speaker 1: can ask them, you know, why'd you choose a, what,
[10:51] Speaker 1: you know, why'd you choose this person?
[10:53] Speaker 2: What makes them interesting?
[10:54] Speaker 1: Why do you, you know, why haven't you been able
[10:56] Speaker 1: to say, I love you as much as you'd like. So,
[10:59] Speaker 1: and usually there's a pretty good reason for that. And
[11:01] Speaker 1: that can be a good conversation to start. And besides it,
[11:04] Speaker 1: you know, it's low cost, it's high impact. It combines
[11:07] Speaker 1: creativity with emotions, and you get a tangible reminder of
[11:12] Speaker 1: love and connection. And it can even become kind of
[11:14] Speaker 1: an annual tradition.
[11:16] Speaker 2: So, you could do that. So, so many ideas. So
[11:19] Speaker 2: many ideas. So.
[11:22] Speaker 1: One of the things that y'all can do is maybe
[11:25] Speaker 1: start an animal shelter food drive or something. You can
[11:28] Speaker 1: collect and donate bags of food or research. Have the
[11:33] Speaker 1: kids do the research and make phone calls because they
[11:36] Speaker 1: need to learn how to do that, kids.
[11:39] Speaker 2: I see you. I see you. So you need to
[11:43] Speaker 2: start making phone calls.
[11:43] Speaker 1: Have them call the animal shelter and ask for a
[11:45] Speaker 1: wish list.
[11:46] Speaker 2: Maybe it can get emailed or something like that.
[11:49] Speaker 1: Um, you can always drop off donations at the animal
[11:51] Speaker 1: shelter or local animal.
[11:53] Speaker 2: Rights group, something like that. You can do that.
[11:55] Speaker 1: You can help work at a soup kitchen. Um, there
[11:57] Speaker 1: are maybe some age requirements on that. You just want
[12:00] Speaker 1: to check with them, but even if kids can't serve,
[12:02] Speaker 1: they can help, you know, set tables and things like that.
[12:05] Speaker 1: And it's a good way to talk about food insecurity,
[12:07] Speaker 1: I think, and to talk about how a.
[12:10] Speaker 2: Lot of people maybe can't afford it. And this year,
[12:12] Speaker 2: especially with.
[12:13] Speaker 1: The economy, um, not being very good right now. Everything's
[12:17] Speaker 1: really expensive. So kiddos, it's a lean year for us adults.
[12:22] Speaker 2: So please don't be mad if, and Santa too.
[12:25] Speaker 1: So like I said, don't be mad if you don't
[12:28] Speaker 1: get that $ 500 video game system and that you get
[12:31] Speaker 1: something handmade, which I think would be awesome.
[12:33] Speaker 2: So I don't know. But some other ideas you could do.
[12:36] Speaker 2: I don't know. Let's see. Let me let me throw
[12:39] Speaker 2: some out there.
[12:39] Speaker 1: Maybe like a coat drive. Yeah, you could do a
[12:41] Speaker 1: coat drive. They always need that. You could make cards
[12:45] Speaker 1: for people in nursing homes. I think that would be cool.
[12:47] Speaker 1: I think that would be really our soldiers. I think
[12:49] Speaker 1: that's good.
[12:51] Speaker 2: You can bake some cookies for like the firefighters. How
[12:54] Speaker 2: about that?
[12:55] Speaker 1: Or the police or something like that. Or local child
[13:00] Speaker 1: services building to the social workers. You can collect books
[13:04] Speaker 1: to give to schools or.
[13:08] Speaker 1: Anything like that, you know, we can always use more
[13:10] Speaker 1: books for people's classrooms, you could do some, like, say
[13:14] Speaker 1: there's a lot of snow outside, and you could shovel snow, like,
[13:17] Speaker 1: find someone who maybe is elderly in the neighborhood, and
[13:20] Speaker 1: see if, you know, just say, hey, can I shovel
[13:22] Speaker 1: your walkway for you, because that's a lot of work for,
[13:25] Speaker 1: you know, an older person, and they could get hurt, so,
[13:28] Speaker 1: you know, just kindness, let's show kindness again, let's make
[13:31] Speaker 1: empathy cool again.
[13:33] Speaker 2: I think that's really important.
[13:34] Speaker 1: So it makes it meaningful for the kids and it
[13:37] Speaker 1: makes long-term memories that are happy memories. And even if
[13:40] Speaker 1: they're eustress or like a swirly yellow red ball, that's
[13:44] Speaker 1: also competition. It makes you want to have fun and
[13:47] Speaker 1: be competitive and all that kind of stuff. But in
[13:50] Speaker 1: any case, I mean, the holiday season is about making
[13:52] Speaker 1: it meaningful and you can help kids because... The first
[13:56] Speaker 1: thing I would do is let them have choices. You
[13:59] Speaker 1: need to explain about the benefits and why it matters,
[14:02] Speaker 1: things like that. Discuss, you know, what it's like to
[14:04] Speaker 1: give and how does it make them feel and things
[14:07] Speaker 1: that they can do with that. But then, you know,
[14:09] Speaker 1: just sit down and have a family meeting. You can
[14:10] Speaker 1: do like a one to three savings rule. So you
[14:14] Speaker 1: can do that. I get one thing, I give away
[14:17] Speaker 1: three things. So you can, you know, maybe you can
[14:20] Speaker 1: even like put out a jar that says like save, spend,
[14:23] Speaker 1: and share if they get money or something like that.
[14:26] Speaker 1: But just set the goals to be more age-appropriate to
[14:29] Speaker 1: your kiddo. So they may want to save for something special,
[14:31] Speaker 1: a college fund or helping others for a car someday or,
[14:36] Speaker 1: you know, I don't know, whatever. But you can always
[14:38] Speaker 1: go back to the money management episode and listen to that,
[14:41] Speaker 1: and that may be of some help to you. So
[14:43] Speaker 1: the main thing is just having some financial literacy options.
[14:46] Speaker 1: You know, people need to learn about money from other people.
[14:49] Speaker 1: So the holidays and holiday money is a teaching opportunity,
[14:53] Speaker 1: not really just spending money. So, the real gifts kids
[14:58] Speaker 1: want is presents over presents with the TS. They don't
[15:02] Speaker 1: really care so much about the gifts unless it's like
[15:05] Speaker 1: some high-end video game. But I made a list of
[15:07] Speaker 1: some things that the kids are asking for.
[15:09] Speaker 2: So, here's my list. Okay, it says... Uninterrupted time with
[15:14] Speaker 2: my family.
[15:17] Speaker 1: Sorry, folks, if this gives you the feels. But this
[15:20] Speaker 1: is what came out of the mouths of babes.
[15:23] Speaker 2: So.
[15:24] Speaker 1: Learning new skills alongside their family. Simple things like baking cookies,
[15:29] Speaker 1: learning to do laundry, and setting up game night. One
[15:32] Speaker 1: kid really wanted to set up game night. You know,
[15:36] Speaker 1: help them to feel more helpful, more capable, more intelligent,
[15:41] Speaker 1: have more responsibility. And they just want to make some
[15:45] Speaker 1: positive memories. And I'm absolutely certain that my Ridiculous Joy episode.
[15:51] Speaker 1: It inspired me to make more memories and more happy
[15:54] Speaker 1: memories to blot out some of the negative stuff that's
[15:57] Speaker 1: happened to me.
[15:58] Speaker 2: So it's important. You need lots of positive memories.
[16:02] Speaker 1: And this time of year, you can have such a
[16:04] Speaker 1: sensory experience because of all the twinkle lights and nice
[16:08] Speaker 1: kitchen smells and things. So speaking of kitchen smells and.
[16:13] Speaker 2: Whatnot, you can also do kitchen skills. I mean, do that.
[16:17] Speaker 1: Uh, baking is chemistry. Baking is measurement and math. Uh,
[16:23] Speaker 1: you know, kids can learn to make one simple meal,
[16:25] Speaker 1: maybe like a lasagna or a chicken or something, but
[16:28] Speaker 1: teach them how to make something or a breakfast, have
[16:31] Speaker 1: them learn to make breakfast. Cause that's really interesting if
[16:34] Speaker 1: they're old enough, of course, but they're in middle school,
[16:36] Speaker 1: so they're playing old enough. So unless it is, unless
[16:39] Speaker 1: you happen to have younger kids and you're still listening,
[16:41] Speaker 1: but I thank you for that.
[16:43] Speaker 2: So, you know, you can read the recipes together. It'd
[16:46] Speaker 2: be really cute.
[16:47] Speaker 1: And, you know, you get your math skills and if
[16:49] Speaker 1: you homeschool, you could also count that. So, but, you know,
[16:52] Speaker 1: just general life skills like sorting and measuring detergent, folding laundry,
[16:57] Speaker 1: doing laundry, basic cleaning routines, you know, show them how
[17:02] Speaker 1: to clean from top to bottom, things like that. Organizing
[17:05] Speaker 1: their own space, like sit with them and have them
[17:07] Speaker 1: organize their room and.
[17:08] Speaker 2: You help them. Um, they can wrap gifts for other people,
[17:12] Speaker 2: for their younger siblings. They could do things.
[17:14] Speaker 1: Like that, but just be creative, you know, make, make crafts.
[17:18] Speaker 1: You can decorate, uh, make thank you notes. My kids
[17:22] Speaker 1: also got blank letter, uh, envelopes or actually card envelopes
[17:27] Speaker 1: with blank greeting cards.
[17:28] Speaker 2: So they can make cards for people and people love that.
[17:31] Speaker 2: They absolutely love that.
[17:32] Speaker 1: And the kids were so proud to be able to
[17:35] Speaker 1: make something like that. If you're an outdoorsy kind of family,
[17:38] Speaker 1: you can always go on a nature walk and collect
[17:39] Speaker 1: pine cones and make art out of it. You can
[17:42] Speaker 1: build snowmen or snow angels or snow whatever you want
[17:46] Speaker 1: to make. You can go right around and look at
[17:48] Speaker 1: neighborhood lights, which was always kind of one of my
[17:51] Speaker 1: favorite things. We ate candy canes and looked at the
[17:53] Speaker 1: neighborhood lights.
[17:55] Speaker 2: That's it. Simple. Simple, simple, simple. I had a kid
[17:58] Speaker 2: this week that said.
[17:59] Speaker 1: Movie night with mom where we eat popcorn and watch
[18:02] Speaker 1: old movies once a week on Fridays is the best
[18:05] Speaker 1: thing in that she knows it doesn't take much. Kids
[18:08] Speaker 1: aren't really wanting a whole lot, you know, maybe even
[18:11] Speaker 1: make like a, I don't know, a winter scavenger hunt.
[18:13] Speaker 1: That'd be kind of fun, like in the yard, but it's,
[18:16] Speaker 1: it's just all about building competence and confidence and it
[18:20] Speaker 1: creates those strong family bonds and.
[18:22] Speaker 2: Teaches life skills.
[18:23] Speaker 1: So it makes memories that last way longer than toys
[18:27] Speaker 1: and definitely reduces screen time.
[18:29] Speaker 2: So we're all amped on that lately.
[18:31] Speaker 1: So, you know, block out the schedule for together time
[18:35] Speaker 1: on the calendar.
[18:36] Speaker 2: Let the kids help plan the activities. Keep it simple.
[18:39] Speaker 1: You know, don't work, you know, just kind of ease yourself, trickle, drip, drip,
[18:42] Speaker 1: drip into this, but just focus on the connection, not
[18:46] Speaker 1: the perfection. You know, we're going to fix in 96.
[18:50] Speaker 1: That's what we used to say back in 1996 when
[18:52] Speaker 1: I was graduating, but now it's we're going to fix
[18:55] Speaker 1: in 2026. So we're going to try to get things better,
[18:59] Speaker 1: just like we did in 96. So, but And, you know,
[19:03] Speaker 1: just saying, but kind of to put it all together,
[19:05] Speaker 1: I mean, have your family meeting, discuss giving principles and
[19:10] Speaker 1: the importance of giving as well as receiving and do,
[19:13] Speaker 1: you know, one to one, one to three, whatever. You know,
[19:16] Speaker 1: choose a couple of charities of, you know, an adult choice,
[19:19] Speaker 1: maybe a kid choice that your family can support together.
[19:23] Speaker 1: and then pick a couple of quality time activities. Or
[19:26] Speaker 1: you can always make little strips of paper with different
[19:28] Speaker 1: quality time options of things to do, and you can pull.
[19:31] Speaker 2: It out of a jar. So there's that. But just,
[19:34] Speaker 2: I mean, set expectations.
[19:35] Speaker 1: About gifts and experiences. And adults, you know, feel free
[19:39] Speaker 1: to discuss that maybe financially you're not in the best spot.
[19:43] Speaker 1: Kids can handle that.
[19:43] Speaker 2: They understand that. So they don't have any money either, right?
[19:47] Speaker 2: Kids are broke, mostly. So... you know they don't have
[19:51] Speaker 2: any money.
[19:51] Speaker 1: So them hearing that you don't have a lot of
[19:53] Speaker 1: money is sad for them but they can handle it
[19:56] Speaker 1: so it's it's perfectly fine so you just want to
[20:00] Speaker 1: adapt the activities to the age of the kid and
[20:03] Speaker 1: let the older kids you know mentor the younger ones
[20:05] Speaker 1: and that really would help um You know, have individual
[20:09] Speaker 1: and then family projects, different things, but just start small.
[20:12] Speaker 1: Just pick one tradition a year and build on it,
[20:15] Speaker 1: see if it works, keep it, you know, kind of pressure-free,
[20:18] Speaker 1: you know, not even a lot of eustress, just total joy.
[20:22] Speaker 2: And eustress, I mean, eustress is good, but being overwhelmed
[20:26] Speaker 2: isn't clearly the way to go. So... The one-on-one giving method.
[20:33] Speaker 1: Builds character and gratitude and empathy and all those wonderful
[20:37] Speaker 1: things and can be a positive channel for holiday energy
[20:41] Speaker 1: into meaningful activity. So let this creativity run wild. And
[20:46] Speaker 1: if you're feeling a sense of eustress, write down some
[20:49] Speaker 1: ideas that may come to your head from that superior gyrus.
[20:52] Speaker 1: So you can make little simple crafts like wishing stars,
[20:56] Speaker 1: You can make those love hearts. You can make cards.
[20:58] Speaker 1: There's all kinds of low cost things you can do.
[21:02] Speaker 1: You can make a book, staple the, you know, take
[21:05] Speaker 1: some copy paper and staple the sides and you have
[21:07] Speaker 1: a sketchbook and you can share that. But just giving
[21:10] Speaker 1: back teaches empathy through action. So money is a teaching tool.
[21:15] Speaker 1: It is not money power. Ego is the evil triad.
[21:19] Speaker 1: you know, don't be afraid of money. Don't hate money,
[21:23] Speaker 1: but respect money. So save a third of what you
[21:26] Speaker 1: receive of holiday cash. So spend, save, share.
[21:32] Speaker 2: You can have those, you know, maybe like a jar
[21:35] Speaker 2: that you can put stuff in.
[21:36] Speaker 1: So, but it is the perfect time for learning with
[21:38] Speaker 1: your family. And so make this holiday season a learning experience.
[21:43] Speaker 1: I mean, is it's not found in a store. It's
[21:46] Speaker 1: not ever going to be found in a store. It's
[21:48] Speaker 1: presence with a C-E, not T-S. And the opportunity to
[21:52] Speaker 1: experience the joy of giving together is second to none.
[21:57] Speaker 2: So try one idea from this episode. Share your family's
[22:03] Speaker 2: giving tradition with me, Suzanne Swain, at Gmail. Tag photos,
[22:07] Speaker 2: whatever you want to do. Go back and listen to
[22:10] Speaker 2: the money management episode and.
[22:13] Speaker 1: Good luck having some fun out there with your holiday activities.
[22:17] Speaker 1: I'm so excited to hear what you all come up with. Um,
[22:21] Speaker 1: on Tuesday, I'll be having that. I'll be in the
[22:24] Speaker 1: middle of my knee surgery, getting my 3d printed knee.
[22:27] Speaker 1: So wish me luck. Y'all see on the flip side,
[22:30] Speaker 1: but That is so cool that a robot is doing it.
[22:33] Speaker 1: So stay clever, little foxes. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas.
[22:37] Speaker 2: Ho, ho, ho.
[22:39] Speaker 1: And may all of your dreams come true when you
[22:42] Speaker 1: wish upon a star.

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