# S1 Ep3: It's Giving.. Perseverance

An episode of [Everybody's Crazy](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1738947925), 14 May 2024, 39 min.

Audio: https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/clrtpod.com/m/episode.flightcast.com/kdk1n8zhax21oco2nkm49yvt.mp3

Welcome back to Everybody's Crazy, with Savannah James and April McDaniel. This week's episode has us on a journey.. from having particular silverware preferences when dining out to coping with tragic loss and betrayal we cover quite a bit. Have you dealt with anything similar to these issues? Let us know in the comments! Follow us on socials: https://www.instagram.com/AprilsOffice https://www.instagram.com/mrs_savannahrj/ https://www.instagram.com/everybodyscrzy/ Full video episodes can be found on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@EverybodysCrazy See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

## Transcript

[0:00] Hi guys. Hi. Stressed and drunk. This is Sunday fun day post Sunday Sunday edition. Yes. It's giving tired. It's giving tired. We are not as rejuvenated as we've been the last two episodes but we are so excited to be here with you guys. I definitely sound like I run a sex hotline with this voice. We love this for you.
[0:27] And so we're happy to have you guys here at Everybody's Crazy. And excited to listen to everyone call in today and get a little bit of crazy. I felt like last week was really crazy for me. Really? Yes. There was a lot of...
[0:44] You know, there could be different kinds of crazy. Last week was like an emotional crazy week for me, which I don't deal well with emotions. So it was definitely intense roller coaster of like.
[0:59] Really good emotions, not sure how I felt about emotions, emotions I couldn't control. So it was interesting. So I feel like this week I'm hoping for a little bit more calm, coasting vibe because last week almost took me out. That's why I got drunk yesterday. Okay, well, we're here now. Let's start the week off fresh. Let's get hammered. Get bugged up. Okay.
[1:28] I hope that for you. Yes. So that was good. But it, you know, it's funny. I was thinking about going out to an event with all your friends and you're hanging. Could be club atmosphere, could be party, whatever. How do you feel about, well, you're married, so it's different. But for the people out there, I just feel, I wonder like, how do people feel about affection in the club? With your not person?
[1:56] Just random or... I mean... In general. In general. Like PDA. Yeah. I fuck with PDA. What level of PDA? It's a level of PDA. Kissing, hugging, touching. What kind of kissing? Tongue kissing is good. Tongue kissing is good. Tongue kissing stresses me out. Tongue kissing is fun. Tongue kissing in the club is crazy.
[2:21] get a little quick one here i'd rather just fuck you in the bathroom and not let anybody see i just feel like kissing in the club is intense my husband be in my skin so i really don't have a choice you gonna give it you gonna get it hot cups but i don't mind it's fine maybe if i was married
[3:02] Hey, my name is Melanie and I am from the middle of Los Angeles in Ventura County. My crazy is I'm 21 years old and I've been living on my own with my dog for about four months now. And I'm a senior in college working four jobs. I graduate in two months. Like I have a lot going on.
[3:23] But like, basically, I have a really bad relationship with my dad. However, with the apartment that I'm staying in, he is paying for me financially, but he isn't supportive in anything else. It's kind of like, that's his way of still showing me that he loves me. But he hasn't talked to me in like three weeks. He hasn't done anything. I guess the phone works both ways. But you know,
[3:49] We've been trying, right? I've been trying to fix it. And I feel like at this point, it's been kind of taking a toll on a relationship with my mom. The most important part is that my mom and my dad are both coming down because they moved out of state. That's why I'm living on my own, right, to finish school. But they're coming into town in two days. So I need to know, like, how to approach them coming over and stuff like that. Anyways, have fun with your podcast. Bye.
[4:16] I think a parent-child relationship is a very interesting one. And I feel like being able to articulate yourself to your parents when you're of age is definitely challenging. It's hard. Because I feel like parents, such an evolution of how things have changed from when they were raised, how you were raised,
[4:43] And I feel like our generation and the generations to come after us are very articulate about their emotions, whereas the older generation is not.
[4:53] you know, in some of the self-work I did, which was Hoffman. I don't know if you guys know what the Hoffman Institute is, but it's an amazing program. That's like a seven-day program where you go immersive around, like, how you were raised, how does it instill who you are, what does that mean? And it kind of unpacks a lot of things about how you were brought up and what kind of human you are today and what kind of human you would have been if you would have had more choices as a child.
[5:21] And I just think in doing that exercise, I learned a lot about my own parents' trauma and the things that they went through. And that's why they were showing up as they were, which gave me a lot of empathy for my parents more than I would have had had I not done Hoffman. And I think a lot of people don't realize that a lot of hard conversations parents don't know how to have. Very true. I still never had the sex talk with my parents.
[5:52] And that's easy. Like, I feel like that's something that you, like, prepare yourself for as a parent. Like, ooh, I had this conversation. But I never had that conversation. And I feel like that goes to what you said about just generationally. That's not something that they even talked about. Like, that we're not. That's like, we're about doing that. Do you think if you would have had that conversation, you would have had Ronnie? Probably.
[6:14] Badass. No, but luckily I had siblings that I was able to talk to about that. And I was completely open and, you know, they were honest with me. So that's where I kind of learned a lot of things. But I think even now, like, it's certain things that my parents just won't have a conversation about. My sex talk with my parents was more that sex is bad and God does not want you to have sex and you should be celibate.
[6:43] which it gives a lot of shame to sex and sex supposed to be fun like and I feel like it made me feel like it was like a sneaky shameful thing it was bad so I feel like there's like different types of conversations but I don't understand why people don't have
[7:04] The conversation of like you have to make what choice is best for you with the person you think that that's best for instead of unpacking like fear, which I think a lot of African-American parents do in parenting style. Like when your parents would say the kitchen is closed.
[7:23] Like, what? Why can't we, like, you know, like, it's like fear of not going to the kitchen, fear of not having sex, fear of, like, not doing certain things instead of, like, being like, this is sex. This is what happens. This is what you may feel. Mine was opposite. We just did not have conversations. Just was we just wasn't talking about it. So all my education was from either my siblings or my friends or TV or whatever. Like, we just wasn't talking about it.
[7:48] That's crazy. Yeah. But I do think that, like you said, our parents did what they could do with the tools that they had. Yeah. It was, I mean, it was nothing else that they could do. I mean, you know, just take it for what it is. But I think you just got to know that. And when you start having kids, you grow from that.
[8:12] And all the things that you didn't agree with or the ways that conversations were had with you or not had with you, you adjust that with your parenting style and try to do better. Yeah. I mean, I think no matter what, having hard conversation, whether it's with parents or whoever, people can't have hard conversations. I agree with that. I hate a hard conversation. You hate a hard conversation. Hate it. That's terrible. And I love it. I hate it. I be like, I'm going to be all with all the smoke. Pop!
[8:39] Meanwhile, I'm taking notes. I'm in the shower like, okay, I'm going to say this. I'm going to say this. It's going to hit like this. Ooh, it's going to be good. And I get in a conversation and I ain't said none of it. Fuck you. Meanwhile, I said what I said. Yeah, I definitely don't mind a hard conversation. Well, going back to Melanie, Melanie seems to need to have a hard conversation for sure. And I feel like
[9:05] My advice to you, Melanie, would be to write down your thoughts, organize your thoughts. For sure. That is very good. That's very good. I give you that advice too. Organize your thoughts and be vulnerable.
[9:20] And say to your parents how it actually makes you feel. And also say what you desire. If someone doesn't know what you desire, they don't know how to fix it. So, like, if you desire, like, something, say it. I used to say to my dad, he used to not call that often. He'd be like, but I love you. And I'm like, dad. And so, like, I started calling him, like, it's been a week, my nigga. Like, you have to call me. And he'd be like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[9:47] his phone ringer don't be on it'd be like little stuff he doesn't mean any intent but now he makes a conscious effort and i think it's just also about training and telling people what you want so that they have an opportunity to deliver someone doesn't know if you've never told them that's a fact and then if you have to keep telling them we have to reevaluate the friendship
[10:10] parent or not yes parent or not yeah yes hi what's your name where are you from and what's your crazy hi this is Tanya from Sydney Australia so lovely to be talking to you hi hi not away from Australia thanks for calling us it's beautiful to be here um so my crazy now I'm sorry to be embarrassing but I need so when when you say what's your crazy do you mean like something that drives you crazy
[10:38] It could be anything, something that drives you crazy, something that happened to you that's crazy, something that is something that you are not okay with. We're okay with all of it because I think we believe everybody has a little bit of crazy. And it's like, what kind of crazy are you willing to deal with? Yes. Okay. Well, I'm a mom of four. So definitely I have to say something to do with my kids. I was going to say...
[11:04] I don't know if this happens to you, but when you get on your phone and you find on your camera roll that your kids have been on there and recorded a million videos of themselves dancing away. And, yeah, just the crazy little things that happen to you as a mom.
[11:20] When you find those little things on the phone or you've got to take that last piece of treat from the fridge that you were looking forward to and you find someone else is taking it. Yeah, I feel like. That's very cute. That's a very cute crazy. That's a very cute crazy. And it also drives me crazy. I agree. I agree. Like not so much the phone thing as much as the treat.
[11:44] because now I'm annoyed I love a treat and then you've taken my last little treat I've worked so hard I have my mind focused on it and you ate it I'm like annoyed at you even though you're a really small person I know yeah because you're looking forward to it all day you're looking forward to it and then you go there and you're like hold on here you took it and often you know which child it was that took it yes but I feel like that is the part of being a mom that it
[12:14] That's it. You give your last, you give your first, you, there really is not a lot of empathy for the things that we all do for moms. So like, I feel like it can be, it can be a thankless job, but a loving job. So I understand that would drive me crazy too. And it does. So I'm right with you.
[12:36] It was nice talking to you. Thank you for calling us from Sydney, Australia. Oh, so good to talk to you, ladies. We love you here. Bye. Thank you, ladies. See you. See you later. Bye. Bye. Hi, what's your name? Where are you from? And what's your crazy? Hi, it's Shayden. I'm from Atlanta. And my crazy is motherhood, or I guess embarking on motherhood. Okay. Yes. Tell us more. Yeah. So me and my husband, we've been married for three years now. And
[13:04] We like always spoke about kids and I'm very open to having kids. I just kind of like, I'm, I'm always just apprehensive just because like, I don't have the best relationship with my mother and I don't know. I just, I'm like terribly scared about just like, I just want to make good people, you know? I don't like, I don't know if that makes sense. I just, I don't know if I would be able to,
[13:29] and feel good things and become kind of like the mother I didn't have. And just children and that just journey, it scares me. I do believe I'm a good person. I'd be able to pass on the traits. I just, I don't know. I don't really know if I'm ready. I don't know if you're ever ready.
[13:45] Yeah, I think I think being ready is one thing. You have to definitely make sure that you're ready. But are you ever ready? I don't believe that. I feel like in this in the sense of what and correct me if I'm wrong, Jaden, this is just, you know, what I'm getting is you kind of feel like, you know, financially you want to be ready and.
[14:04] You know, you want to be stable and be able to provide. But then, like you're saying, you also want to be able to provide something to your kids that's making a change from the way that you were raised. So I understand a little bit of a build up in preparation for that.
[14:18] Are you ever really ready? No. But you can get yourself together in that regard. And what I would say to what you're calling in about is just to understand what you've gone through and what you would not want to instill.
[14:35] into your kids. I think that that's kind of where you start. We really didn't have much control over, you know, how our relationships panned out or how we were parented, but you do have control of how you move forward and how you could change it and, you know, make, um, like you were saying, your human beings be, have, be a little bit more equipped than what you were. And the one thing I'll also add is that I feel like,
[15:02] doing like some self-work to unpack the relationship that you in some ways sound like you grieve with your mother and if you can unpack that and work through that I feel like you will be an even better mom like you're gonna be a queen you'll kill it like that's just the way it works is like you always want more for yourself than maybe what more for your kids than what you had so you're gonna do that by any means necessary and if you really love your person who's your husband
[15:32] and you guys are making a conscious effort to do a great job together, I feel like that is half the battle. And I think if you do a little work on the feelings around your mom, you then are that much more of a greater parent to the kids that you will have. Totally. That is absolutely like such great advice. And I even like in the self-worth is spot on because that's the journey I'm, you know, very much on and, you know, continuing to just grow.
[16:00] I even mentioned that maybe just to get a better feel, maybe we should get a dog.
[16:07] Yeah, that's a good place to start. And I think you'll realize how much you can love something. And I feel like if you're doing self-work, you're going to love yourself even more and realize that that validation that you maybe were looking for from your mom, you can actually give yourself, which is a really great feeling when you do the self-work. And both me and Savannah are both on that journey. And you just realize how much more powerful and stronger you are.
[16:32] you are than you thought you were. So then like it makes the idea of parenthood not so daunting because you're like, oh, I really am killing this personal growth journey. So I feel like that is like a good thing as well. That is so true. And this year, one of my resolution was maybe I should, you know, start seeking therapy. And I think that like this conversation maybe can look like, you know, solidified it. So I'm definitely going to just,
[16:58] continue to get deeper in my self-work and definitely probably invest in a lot for now. I encourage you. I encourage you. We both do it. There also is something called the Hoffman Institute that I went to that really unpacks how you were raised and about your parenting journey. So you should look that up as well. Cause I thought that that was a really helpful thing.
[17:19] for me and like how I was raised and why I'm independent and why I am the way I am. So, um, especially for people of color, I feel like doing the self work sometimes is not as much as a priority. And when you do it, you just grow into a new person and it really is exciting. So you should think about the journey in that way. You know, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm so happy I called in. Thank you so much, ladies. Oh, thank you. Have a great day. Thank you. You too. Bye.
[17:50] Hello, what's your name? Where are you from? And what's your crazy? My name is Tawana. I'm from Massachusetts, and I'm trying to see how to go about, or if I'm the only one who cannot use
[18:04] regular silverware. Like, everything has to be plastic. I don't care if it's a five-star restaurant. I am the only one that's actually from plastic cups, black and silverware, even when I eat a steak. And it's starting to get very annoying and crazy.
[18:22] That's so funny. I think that's crazy. No, my sister is the exact same way. She do not play them games. She is giving, where is the, y'all got a plastic fork. Why though? She says she doesn't like the way it feels on her teeth when she eats. She don't like the scraping of the metal on her teeth. Why are you like that, Tawana? Because I think, I'm thinking of whose mouth been on the fork or the spoon or whatever.
[18:50] or even holding the cup. It's just getting like out of control. I wish I had your address. I wish I had your address because I would send you. There is this little kit where you can get a knife and a fork in a little container that you can move around with you.
[19:08] Like a real one though. Send us your address to Wanda so we can send you a little gift. DM to everybody's crazy. Your address, me and Savannah going to send you a little portable knife and fork set. For me, the issue is couth.
[19:22] So, like, no offense, but black people, we always get a bad name for being unprofessional, ghetto, whatever. So we about to send you a little pop and block, a little pack and go. Pull it out. I got my own, baby. Don't worry about it. I got my own silverware, and it's not going to be plastic. So, and the crazy thing is I'm an attorney. So I hold a lot of business meetings, and when we have to go to restaurants, it's like, I try to...
[19:48] I try, but it's so hard. It's so hard for me. If that's your preference, that's your preference. And then I feel like how I'm going to look. Don't worry. We're going to send you a little kit. Yeah. DS to Everybody's Crazy Podcast. Your address. We're sending you some real silverware in a little container and take those to your meeting so we can keep it sexy and keep getting the big body money because we're focused. We want to get the money. Okay. All right. See you later. Thank you, Tarana. All right. Bye. That was a cute one.
[20:18] That's crazy, though. It is. I've never heard that. Yeah. They do it all the time. It's so interesting. Everybody has their version of crazy.
[20:29] Mm-hmm. So you go to Nobu and you ask for a plastic fork and spoon. That's crazy. It's disposable chopsticks, so that's different. They're like wood. No, not okay. I'm stressed about it. Karina, tell us when we get to Juana's address. I'm shipping that out ASAP from Amazon.
[20:50] Because I just feel like also is indicative of like how people view you. So I have an issue with that with a lot of things that I'm very particular about. Like what? Like Bonneton Airport. Ooh. You on your own, sis. You on your own, sis. I don't give a fuck.
[21:07] I don't care. But I feel like just certain little things, like when you go out to eat, like a lot of people do not have table manners. They don't know what side the fork and the knife we're supposed to be on. Like a lot of people have not been trained on like bare basics. And that has nothing to do with like, it has a lot to do with upbringing. But like, which, you know, you sit down and somebody drink out of your water glass. Oh, I hate that. That was mine. Because they picked from the wrong side. They don't know what side the water glass is supposed to be on. I got a trick.
[21:36] So, anybody, I got a trick. Okay. If you don't know which water glass to drink out of or which plate, like if the table is already set and it's a bread plate there, go like this. So, one side makes a B and one side makes a D. So, that's how you know your drink is to your right and your bread plate is to your left. Ah!
[22:01] again we just upgraded you guys put you on a game real quick is this yes that's so handy no problem you got it oh my god who taught you that i don't remember but i definitely learned it from somebody yes because i was also having that issue yes so sure you know i'll hit you under the table real quick like that
[22:24] Okay, I know which one is mine. Oh my God, I love that. But now I know, so I don't have to do the B and the D anymore. So fancy. We need to run the bonnet combo back. Why, people want to talk about the bonnet too? Because men wear bonnets. No, that's not okay. My sons wear bonnets. Okay, but I'm not aligned. They be trying to preserve they sexy too. Wear a do-rag. No, they don't have haircuts. They have like hair, so they wear bonnets.
[22:53] It's stressful. If a man gets in a bed with me with a body, it's over. I'm pushing him off the edge of the bed. I cannot stay in the bed. We're not sleeping together. I cannot stay in the bed. I'm not sleeping with no man with no body. I'm not. I'm not doing it. Not on my dead body. No. No.
[23:18] It stresses me the fuck out. I mean, clearly you don't even wear one. No, I was in a Hermes scarf this morning. It's giving premium. It's giving Kendra's Boutique products. From the beauty supply. Hi, what's your name, where you from, and what's your crazy?
[23:42] I just was calling Ashley just to hear. I wanted to hear you guys. I hear the ladies. I hear the ladies talk. I like to hear the ladies' perspective. I really wanted to just tune in and hear what y'all was talking about. I don't feel like I'm too crazy. I would say super overprotective of my family. That's what I believe in. I'm a stand-toe stand with that. Or protecting my family. I can be barbaric in a sense. But I don't really feel like that's crazy. We don't want you to be barbaric. First of all, hold on. What's your name?
[24:11] My name is Dee. Everybody call me Dee. Okay, Dee. We don't want you to be barbaric, but we totally understand. Ten toes down, the loyalty, the family. Love that. Yes, we do love that, but not barbaric. No. We need you. We need you around. Yeah. I know. You know, but honestly, this may seem crazy. I feel like I can change the world.
[24:36] I really feel like I can change the world. I don't think that that is crazy. That makes me crazy. I don't think that's crazy. I think you should think about yourself like that. I think I can, I don't, I don't, I don't actually want to change the world, but I do feel, I feel very highly about myself. So I feel like if you feel like you have something to give to the world, I think that that's a good way of viewing yourself. I feel like you have to, especially as a person of color, you got to be your biggest cheerleader.
[25:06] Yeah, some people might say that's crazy. No. That's not crazy to us. Not crazy. We're loving that. We love that energy. I mean, I think if you don't believe, nobody else will. Like, I mean, I'll use even an example of, like, a LeBron. Because I think for me, like, I don't go to a ton of basketball games, even though me and Savannah are close. But the other day I went to the game with Vanna and I was like, oh, my God, it's crazy, like, how he clicks into another person, like, on the court.
[25:35] But to me, that person is waking up every day and believing he's that person. Like he has to talk to himself before anybody else is talking to him and talking like inspiring himself to be that person. So I feel like you have to be that person when you're thinking about yourself. For sure.
[25:54] Where are you from, D? Where are you from? Sound like down south. I'm from Kansas. Kansas. I'm from Kansas. Okay. We love that. I, I, yeah. You know what? Like, aside of that, I wanted to hear you raise perspective on something because I'm actually going through some if I, if I'm able to speak on. Yes, go ahead. I've never been in love before until, like, the past five or six.
[26:23] six years. I fell in love. I've had numerous relationships. And, man, I'm going through a separation right now. I feel like it's grief.
[26:34] Man, yeah, my lady, man. I'm so, like, I'm over it because it took me three weeks. It took me three weeks to really just get past this time. But I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was exempt from this type shit. I'm going to be honest with you. I felt like I'm such a good guy. And I probably couldn't attend on myself, but I felt like I'm such a good guy. I'm like, my girl ain't going to be like that. And she beat me like that. I couldn't believe it.
[27:00] I really couldn't believe it. Yeah, man, I've never felt this pain before. I've lost significant people in my life. I lost my sister in 2015. My mother passed the cancer in 2003, three years later in 2018. She had hormonal cancer. My mother was one of the strongest women I ever encountered. When she had breast cancer first,
[27:26] And then it cracked her vertebrae in three different places. My mother signed a waiver from the hospital, left the hospital and went back to work. That's how strong she was. And fought it for nine years from that point until they finally just took its toll.
[27:40] I watched my nephew pass at six from a massive asthma attack as Lawrence collapsed. I've lost so much. So I felt pain before. And me, my girl, she didn't know me. It feels like a loss because I know like I got to let her go. This is I accepted her.
[28:01] the first time I found out because I felt like I wasn't the best person in the relationship. Right. And I was like, I felt like I really was in love with her. I felt like she was deserving of a second chance and she came clean with me. I really wanted to just let it go because I don't play like that. I do too much. I give my all. Like I love, I love purely. So I gave her another chance and
[28:25] Man, she talking about she was going to a gallon pond. This was the day of the Super Bowl. I'll never forget it. It was the day of the Super Bowl. I'd cheat down with another guy. The same guy that I had found out she was cheating with.
[28:39] And I really had to just let it go. And it was so hard. It's because I gave her. I don't care about anything I've done for her. I don't care about what I've given her. Because I was raised to, you take care of your woman. You know what I'm saying? You know, everybody got this thing about 50-50 and all that. I feel like, man, it's like if I'm 80%, my girl got to be 20. She should be 20. If I'm 20, she'd be 80. If I'm 50, you'd be 50. It's like we got to pour in and accommodate each other.
[29:08] 50-50, that's in a perfect world. You know what I'm saying? But I think also with the relationship, I think, you know, when you see things, you have to figure out how to unpack them. So, I mean, what I will say is, this is April speaking, but I lost my husband 10 years ago. And I think grief is a very...
[29:31] hard thing to go through and you've just listed multiple deaths and also a heartbreak. I know that it does not seem very common, but I do think it's important to try to seek solace and like some sort of therapy to work through that. I think what you've been through is super traumatic.
[29:51] And I didn't realize what I had been through was very traumatic in my husband's death. And there's something called disassociation disorder, which is like I had it because I'm listening to you talk. And I think you may have it, too, is when you can talk about a story and you're telling it as if you weren't in it. So like you list like your sister's death, crazy traumatic, your mom's death, crazy traumatic, crazy.
[30:18] Your nephew dying in your arm, crazy traumatic. Like your girlfriend breakup, cheated twice, super traumatic. Like you're saying it as if it is like a matter of fact when the reality of it is like,
[30:33] thank God you're still standing. That is like a crazy situations to go through. So one of the things that personally helped me was like, obviously therapy and like talking to somebody to really realize that what has transpired in your life is not fair. And that's okay to say it's not fair. Like you don't have to just get over it. You can also be sad about it. It could be hurtful and it's going to take you time. Like, yeah,
[31:00] And I just, the one thing I would advise for you is to be kind to yourself and give yourself a little bit of grace. Because whatever you've been through and the little bit you've just said on the phone with me and Savannah in the last five minutes, like most people couldn't have went through one of those scenarios, let alone five of them. So you should be proud of yourself, but also investing in yourself to work through some of those emotions instead of just being like, oh, okay, well, that's what it is. And they died and that's sad. And like,
[31:30] It's okay to just be in it for a minute because I feel like if you work through it, you become a better person. I really believe that. We see you, D. We see you. We see you.
[31:45] No, that's silent. That's silent. That's super silent. I believe that, though, because it actually took me some years to get out of the place I was in after losing my mom and my sister. It took me at least, it took me about three years to get out of the space I was in. I was in a dark space for like two, three years. And I had to just really wake up and look at myself every day in the mirror. I had to do a lot of self work.
[32:08] So everything you said was really just reinforcement. And I know, like, I do have a tight-knit family. I really have a strong support system. So I really, it's crazy. I called in and I just wanted to hear from somebody who was kind of unbiased because, like,
[32:24] I didn't know, like, if I actually would have took my lady back and I didn't want to speak about my situation to nobody who was, like, kind of near and dear in case she came back around and they judging her, you know what I'm saying? No, but you never let... So nobody can judge what you do. Which is the decision you make, yeah. Don't let nobody judge you. Right. Like, I mean, trust your own gut and what it's meant to be. But my recommendation is right now you should focus on you and whatever the future is going to hold is going to come and find you because you say you built for big things. Mm-hmm.
[32:54] We see you. We going to be watching you and tune in and we appreciate you, D. No, I appreciate it, man. I appreciate your conversation, man. Y'all let me stay blessed. I appreciate that. All right. You too. Talk soon. Of course.
[33:09] Dee said he was calling just to hear some ladies' voices. And then all of a sudden, he turned into a help me out line. Yeah. That's important. People really be struggling. People really be struggling. And don't have nobody to talk to. And we don't got no skin in the game. Right. But also, everybody has issues. Yeah. That's the part I think that people forget is we're all human. Everybody goes through things. Yeah. Yeah.
[33:35] It's funny when you do a little bit of work and you grow and then I hear something like that. I'm like, damn, that was me. Because I used to talk about Norm's death like it was going to the mall. Proud of you. It's giving self-growth. Hi, what's your name? Where are you calling from? And what's your crazy? Hi, this is Amaya. Hi, where are you from? I'm Minnesota. Minnesota.
[34:04] And what are you calling us about that's crazy for you? For me, I think my crazy is like, I'm slowly becoming more of like a germaphobe to the point where I feel like, in a way, it might drive my friends and my mom crazy. Because for me, I'm one of those people, I don't like people sitting on my bed with their...
[34:34] street clothes or whatever, like, if my best friend comes over, I'll probably, like, get her a pair of pajamas for her to sit in my bed, like, you can watch a movie, whatever, whatever. Like, and it's just gotten worse to the point, like, I've taken microbiology and learning, like, about all the microorganisms, all that stuff, like, it's just made me crazy to the point where I'm like, okay, I have to start carrying out more hand sanitizer, um, don dish soap and, like, a little thing to, like, wash my hands, like,
[35:04] I just can't. So it's interesting because I'm a little OCD about tidiness, not like I'm clean, but like not crazy about cleanliness, but everything has to have a place and whatever.
[35:17] One thing I learned in therapy was that OCD and like germaphobe and that is actually can be not form, but a way of like being anxious and trying to control your environment. So it comes from like an anxious energy.
[35:39] And once I like learn to control it and like, I'd be the kind of person I lost a pair of socks. I'd be ripping apart my house to find the socks. Cause all my socks are color coded in my drawer like perfectly. And I know what everything is and I'll rip everything apart to find the one pair of socks that I couldn't find. And it really came down to like trying to control something. Like I felt like that was something I could control. So I just feel like,
[36:05] with it is it's obviously something surface level, but it also could be potentially something deeper that you just have to like figure out what about it you're trying to control or that you don't like, because like that trying to control germs is like uncontrollable. You can't get like, it will actually make you crazy. So like, how do you talk yourself off of, and some people lean heavily into it. I think, especially since COVID, like,
[36:34] People have leaned heavily into it, but that makes people go mentally like not in a correct unhinged. So I think it's like kind of figuring out what about it makes you so particular and then how can you focus on fixing that? Okay.
[36:51] That's my favorite. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, cause it's, I feel like if you lean even more heavy into it, the older you get, it's going to be almost unobtainable. And then you have kids and there's germs everywhere. And like, I don't know something. Yes. It's always something kids have hand, foot and mouth and they have lice and they have like everything you can imagine that is disgusting. A kid is bringing home. Like, so like, I have to say though, I'm the queen of hearing a cough or a sneeze or something. I'd be like,
[37:19] what is happening but i you know obviously i just kind of just be like okay let me just protect myself yes double up on my vitamins wash my hands you know do all the things but i i don't you know let it go overboard yeah exactly so i think just being mindful of that i don't think that i've
[37:41] get too much overboard but I think that like sometimes for me it's like when it's in my personal space like yes if it's in like my bed like if I because when I'm at school I you know like obviously take out my laptop and like work like put on the surface and stuff like that but it's like if I want to work in my bed I don't know what's been on that table surface so it's like I have to like wipe down my laptop before I actually like get in bed to like work in bed
[38:09] I'm not mad at that. I feel like a bed is a sanctuary. Yeah. It's like your little safe space. As long as you're keeping it migrated to the bed. It's not like the house, the car, the this, the that. You can't escape them. You can't escape the germs. But I appreciate you, Maya. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Germs. Hangovers. Zeth.
[38:40] Damn. There's a lot going on. This was a good one. Yeah. The reality of it is everybody's crazy. And what crazy are you willing to deal with? Stand by. Episode three. Episode three is a wrap. It's a wrap. See y'all next time. It's a wrap. Next one. Bye. Bye.

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