# Hot Mess ExGirlfriend Express + Shannon’s Update!!!

An episode of [Call Me Back with Daniella Your BFF](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1723564404), 5 Mar 2026, 34 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2333346/episodes/18793723-hot-mess-exgirlfriend-express-shannon-s-update.mp3

Okay besties … we need to talk!! This is Part 3 of the Shannon and Zach storytime, and things officially ESCALATE. I’m sharing what happened NEXTTTT between Shannon and Zach and how everything unfolded behind the scenes with Zach’s ex-girlfriend and OMG it’s WILD! Plus we’re diving into some juicy relationship questions from you girlies and a little love life advice from your internet BFF that I hope will encourage you SM!!! Grab a bev, get comfy, and welcome back to the group chat!! ⭐️ Listen on Spotify 💖 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎥 Watch on Youtube Follow on Instagram: 💗 @Daniella.your.bff 🎙️ @TheCMBpodcast

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_00: Hey girlies, it's Daniela Your BFF with relatable girl talk and crazy dating stories.
[0:05] SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to chat?
[0:07] SPEAKER_00: I'm calling.
[0:08] SPEAKER_00: Hey girly pop, welcome to the Call Me Back podcast.
[0:11] SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Daniela, your BFF, and okay, girly, we have some exciting stuff to get into.
[0:18] SPEAKER_00: Not only do we have an update from the Shannon, but and it's good, it's good, it's good.
[0:24] SPEAKER_00: But also, we have a giveaway winner to announce.
[0:27] SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm also going to give the code phrase for this week's giveaway, and I'm giving away some incredible makeup and skincare this week.
[0:36] SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna want to enter.
[0:38] SPEAKER_00: Um, also, I have to preface this, preface this with it has been one heck of a week at work.
[0:44] SPEAKER_00: My mind is like burnt out.
[0:45] SPEAKER_00: I'm like a zombie.
[0:46] SPEAKER_00: So I hope that I can talk straight.
[0:50] SPEAKER_00: You girlies know me.
[0:51] SPEAKER_00: I don't edit the podcast.
[0:52] SPEAKER_00: This is raw, this is real.
[0:54] SPEAKER_00: And then also the girly pop set-in questions for this week's podcast.
[0:59] SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna read them and answer them.
[1:01] SPEAKER_00: And last but not least, since we are in the mood or in the theme of love stories, I'm gonna talk a little bit about mine and Jake's love story and how you really don't have to have it all together to like take the plunge, be in the relationship, get married.
[1:20] SPEAKER_00: I know that sometimes like we can fall into this analysis paralysis of like feeling like you need to have all this money saved up before you get married, or um, I don't know, just like not knowing what the future is like or being unsure of life and how it's gonna turn out.
[1:38] SPEAKER_00: But sister, I can confidently say at the end of the day, if you have a good man by your side that you love, first of all, you can conquer anything, but also like you can't even anticipate what life is gonna look like 10 years from now.
[1:52] SPEAKER_00: Like you think you know, bestie, we don't know.
[1:55] SPEAKER_00: And so anyway, I'm going to it's gonna be super encouraging.
[1:58] SPEAKER_00: So, and even if you're in your single era, or even if you're if you're in your married era, no matter where you're at, this episode is going to be so fun because we are going to talk about all things love story, love stories.
[2:10] SPEAKER_00: And let's be real, the girlies love love.
[2:14] SPEAKER_00: We love love.
[2:15] SPEAKER_00: Um, thanks, Bessie, for being here.
[2:17] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so first of all, I'm going to announce um last week's winner, who's winning the Polite Society makeup goodie bag.
[2:26] SPEAKER_00: So um, I just had her Instagram up.
[2:29] SPEAKER_00: Um, let me find it, let me find it.
[2:32] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, where did it go?
[2:33] SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
[2:34] SPEAKER_00: Her name was Camille.
[2:35] SPEAKER_00: Camille, is that you?
[2:37] SPEAKER_00: Bessie, where did it go?
[2:38] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, hold on.
[2:39] SPEAKER_00: This is so embarrassing.
[2:40] SPEAKER_00: I literally just had the winner.
[2:41] SPEAKER_00: Okay, here we go.
[2:42] SPEAKER_00: Her Instagram username is Camille Quaid24.
[2:47] SPEAKER_00: So if that's you, Bessie, shoot me a message with your Addy and I'm gonna send you those Polite Society makeup goodie bag.
[2:55] SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
[2:56] SPEAKER_00: It's some of my favorite makeup in the world.
[2:58] SPEAKER_00: And then this week I'm giving away some of my favorite makeup from Ulta and Sephora, um, along with some very high-quality skincare.
[3:08] SPEAKER_00: We all love skincare.
[3:10] SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a whole goodie bag.
[3:12] SPEAKER_00: So um stick around because I will give you the code phrase in just a bit to enter this week's giveaway.
[3:18] SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy that you're here.
[3:20] SPEAKER_00: And welcome, by the way, welcome.
[3:22] SPEAKER_00: Let me just take a moment and slow down.
[3:23] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I rush, I rush, I rush.
[3:26] SPEAKER_00: Let's kick back, let's relax, let's have a little bit of fun.
[3:29] SPEAKER_00: What do you say, Bessie?
[3:30] SPEAKER_00: It's been a crazy week.
[3:31] SPEAKER_00: Also, this is your sign that if you're having a crazy and chaotic week and you feel like life is out of control and it's spiraling, and you're like, I don't know what's happening, it's in the air.
[3:42] SPEAKER_00: Okay, a lot of the curlies are going through this.
[3:44] SPEAKER_00: A lot of my friends are in seasons of like, there's just so much happening, and it feels so chaotic.
[3:50] SPEAKER_00: And just know that it's okay, and you're not in this alone.
[3:54] SPEAKER_00: I'm with you.
[3:55] SPEAKER_00: Your besties have got you, God's got you, it's gonna be okay.
[3:59] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so should we dive into Shannon's update?
[4:02] SPEAKER_00: Because it's good.
[4:04] SPEAKER_00: And also for the girlies that are like just joining, tiny bit of a refresher.
[4:08] SPEAKER_00: So basically, long story short, with Shannon's story.
[4:13] SPEAKER_00: So, Shannon basically, long, long, long story short, she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her on Valentine's Day because she had found a receipt from a flower shop for$200 and he never gave her a bouquet on Valentine's Day.
[4:27] SPEAKER_00: She's like, Okay, this bouquet was not for me, clearly.
[4:30] SPEAKER_00: So she leaves his apartment that night and she calls her best friend Zach.
[4:34] SPEAKER_00: Now, her and Zach have been BFFs since childhood, and she told him what happened.
[4:38] SPEAKER_00: He ended up bringing her four bouquets of flowers from Albertson's, like the local little grocery shop, whatever.
[4:45] SPEAKER_00: Um, because that was all they had left was these four bouquets.
[4:49] SPEAKER_00: The florists were all closed for the day, you know?
[4:51] SPEAKER_00: And he shows up at our apartment, he consoles her and um stays until she falls asleep to make sure she's okay.
[4:57] SPEAKER_00: Like, what a sweet man, right?
[4:59] SPEAKER_00: So then fast forward to I think it was the next day, um, Zach texts Shannon and was like, Hey, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but like, can I take you out to dinner?
[5:08] SPEAKER_00: And so the girlies voted, and we were all like, you know, um, get should, should she wanted to know.
[5:15] SPEAKER_00: Shannon wanted to know, like, should I go out to dinner with him?
[5:17] SPEAKER_00: Should I not?
[5:18] SPEAKER_00: Um, because she didn't want to ruin the friendship.
[5:20] SPEAKER_00: The girlies voted.
[5:21] SPEAKER_00: We said, ruin the friendship, girl.
[5:24] SPEAKER_00: So then she goes out to dinner with Zach, okay?
[5:26] SPEAKER_00: So last week on the pod, she gave us the update that she goes to dinner with Zach, okay?
[5:31] SPEAKER_00: And while they're driving to dinner, she notices that he gets a text and then all of a sudden, like acts a little funny and then postpones their dinner reservation and says, Let's go get drinks somewhere first.
[5:44] SPEAKER_00: And then, so they have drinks, they're having like a great time, but then they walk into the restaurant for dinner, and while they're walking in, Zach's ex is literally walking out.
[5:54] SPEAKER_00: She's in uniform, she works there at this restaurant.
[5:57] SPEAKER_00: And Shannon said it was a super awkward interaction.
[6:00] SPEAKER_00: Like Shannon obviously knew who his ex was.
[6:03] SPEAKER_00: She's met her several, several times.
[6:05] SPEAKER_00: They've, you know, hung out all together before.
[6:07] SPEAKER_00: Um, but she said it was like the most awkward, awkward interaction.
[6:11] SPEAKER_00: And so we're like, okay, wait, what was that about?
[6:14] SPEAKER_00: But then they go in, they have dinner.
[6:16] SPEAKER_00: She said they're literally having the time of their lives, they're having the best date, losing track of time, and she's like, I'm loving this.
[6:21] SPEAKER_00: Then he takes her to go stargaze.
[6:24] SPEAKER_00: And then while they're stargazing, he leans in to kiss her, and her reaction was pull back.
[6:30] SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Let's leave.
[6:31] SPEAKER_00: She ends the date, she's like, drive me home.
[6:33] SPEAKER_00: And then they hadn't spoken since.
[6:35] SPEAKER_00: And she was like, What do I do now?
[6:37] SPEAKER_00: And she had told us, she was like, I actually really wanted him to kiss me like the whole date.
[6:41] SPEAKER_00: So this is really weird that when Push came to shove, oh, that's probably not the best not when when Pucker came to kiss, oh my gosh, when he went in to kiss her, basically, Bessie.
[6:51] SPEAKER_00: Um, he um she she pulled away.
[6:57] SPEAKER_00: And she was like, I don't know why.
[6:58] SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not sure, like, why was that my reaction?
[7:01] SPEAKER_00: And she was like upset with herself, and we were all like, no, girly, like if something makes you feel uncomfortable, like that's okay.
[7:08] SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, don't worry about it.
[7:11] SPEAKER_00: And so hold on, I have to readjust.
[7:13] SPEAKER_00: I'm like a grandma, my neck hurts.
[7:16] SPEAKER_00: Um girly, if you saw how I'm like my office right now where I'm recording, I literally have a table laying on its side, a stone table.
[7:25] SPEAKER_00: I'm not even exaggerating, it's on its side.
[7:27] SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should post a photo of this.
[7:28] SPEAKER_00: Um, clothes everywhere.
[7:29] SPEAKER_00: It's a disaster.
[7:30] SPEAKER_00: Okay.
[7:31] SPEAKER_00: And my mic is like halfway hanging off my desk.
[7:34] SPEAKER_00: Hot mess express.
[7:36] SPEAKER_00: Type B, type B Bestie over here.
[7:37] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here's where we're at.
[7:39] SPEAKER_00: We got the update from Shan.
[7:40] SPEAKER_00: Are you ready?
[7:41] SPEAKER_00: Are you freaking ready?
[7:42] SPEAKER_00: Okay, I hope we don't butcher this.
[7:44] SPEAKER_00: Her DM is super long, so I'm like paraphrasing.
[7:47] SPEAKER_00: Okay, here's what happened.
[7:49] SPEAKER_00: So basically, um, Zach dropped dropped Shannon off at her house, right?
[7:53] SPEAKER_00: And it was a couple days they hadn't talked.
[7:56] SPEAKER_00: So Shannon decides to text Zach and say, Hey, can we meet up and chat?
[8:03] SPEAKER_00: And there was this cute little park that they used to go to when they were younger and like they have a lot of memories there, whatever.
[8:08] SPEAKER_00: So she was like, maybe it would be cute and like just comfortable, familiar, break the ice, whatever, if um we like went to this park and we sat on this bench.
[8:16] SPEAKER_00: So and she was feeling so bad about the whole thing, right?
[8:20] SPEAKER_00: Which you should never feel bad about protecting yourself and like if you don't feel comfortable with something, but I think she just felt bad, like that they're they're best friends, and she didn't want to ruin the friendship, right?
[8:30] SPEAKER_00: And she she really liked him.
[8:31] SPEAKER_00: So she was all cute.
[8:33] SPEAKER_00: She got his favorite coffee and surprised him with it.
[8:35] SPEAKER_00: He shows up.
[8:36] SPEAKER_00: You could tell he's like a little, he's a little awkward, a little embarrassed, whatever.
[8:39] SPEAKER_00: They're sitting on the on the um bench talking.
[8:42] SPEAKER_00: And Shannon just says, like, listen, I really, really like you, and I would love to give this a shot.
[8:49] SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry that I like freaked out about the kiss.
[8:51] SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I did.
[8:56] SPEAKER_00: And Bessie, in that moment, she said he like they like locked eyes and he looked so relieved, and she just went in for it, and she just kissed him right there in the moment on the bench, and she said it was a full-on kissity kiss, a little French kiss moment, if you will.
[9:12] SPEAKER_00: And um, she said it was literally the best kiss of her life.
[9:16] SPEAKER_00: And so that was like the best way to start off this whole conversation.
[9:21] SPEAKER_00: She said she her heart was pounding and she literally was so nervous and she went for it.
[9:25] SPEAKER_00: So they have this like amazing kiss, whatever.
[9:28] SPEAKER_00: Not whatever, OMG.
[9:30] SPEAKER_00: So then they are sitting on the bench talking, and he was like, he he was so relieved because he's like, I thought I had screwed it up between us, and I was so embarrassed that I went in to kiss you.
[9:38] SPEAKER_00: Like, was I reading the vibes wrong?
[9:40] SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
[9:40] SPEAKER_00: She was like, No, no, no.
[9:41] SPEAKER_00: So anyway, she said it was like the best kiss, and she told him, She's like, I think I was just really nervous about literally everything.
[9:47] SPEAKER_00: So they're having a nice time, they're chatting, and then though, Shannon's like, wait, I do have to ask you.
[9:52] SPEAKER_00: She's like, When we were driving to the date, you got a text, you got all weird about it, you changed our reservations, and then we literally saw your ex walking out.
[10:03] SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Yeah.
[10:05] SPEAKER_00: And she was like, What was that about?
[10:08] SPEAKER_00: Are you ready for this, Besti?
[10:10] SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's call his ex um Katie for the sake of this conversation.
[10:16] SPEAKER_00: We'll keep her Anani.
[10:18] SPEAKER_00: We'll keep Katie Anani anonymous.
[10:21] SPEAKER_00: So, um, so okay, so one of the girlies nailed it in the comments.
[10:26] SPEAKER_00: She was like, Well, what if they like live in a small town?
[10:28] SPEAKER_00: Like, that's not super uncommon.
[10:30] SPEAKER_00: Like, if there's not a ton of restaurants to choose from, well, she didn't ask Zach, like, what was this whole thing about, right?
[10:36] SPEAKER_00: So, Zach, some context is they do live in a small town.
[10:39] SPEAKER_00: So, she was telling me, like, there are not a ton of places that are like nice to go out to dinner, and this place is the nicest place in town, right?
[10:46] SPEAKER_00: It was like a steakhouse or whatever.
[10:47] SPEAKER_00: So she said what happened was.
[10:50] SPEAKER_00: So Zach ended up telling her the tea.
[10:52] SPEAKER_00: Zach spilled the tea on KT, if you will.
[10:56] SPEAKER_00: So basically, when Shannon texted Zach and said, like, yes, I'll go out to dinner with you, he immediately was like, I gotta take her to the nicest place and it's that steakhouse.
[11:06] SPEAKER_00: So he made a reservation for dinner, right?
[11:09] SPEAKER_00: Well, that morning he was like, Oh my gosh, like my ex freaking works there.
[11:13] SPEAKER_00: Like, how awkward is it gonna be if I'm having dinner with Shannon and then my ex is there, and clearly, like, there's there's something going on between me and Shannon that's more than friendship, and then what if the ex is there lurking and that's gonna make Shannon uncomfortable?
[11:28] SPEAKER_00: So then he started to panic and he was like, But you know what?
[11:30] SPEAKER_00: Like maybe Katie's not even working her shift that night.
[11:34] SPEAKER_00: Like maybe she's not even in that day.
[11:36] SPEAKER_00: So Zach went ahead and texted Katie and said, Hey, I am he didn't tell he didn't tell Katie who it was, but he said, Hey, I'm going on a date tonight.
[11:45] SPEAKER_00: Um, and I made a reservation at the restaurant that you work at, and I just wanted to be respectful and see if you were working that night.
[11:54] SPEAKER_00: And Katie replied and she said, Yes, I am working.
[11:59] SPEAKER_00: So then Zach scrambled and he was like, Well, what do I do now?
[12:03] SPEAKER_00: But then that's not all that happened.
[12:06] SPEAKER_00: Zach said about an hour after he texted Katie, Katie texted him back again, right?
[12:14] SPEAKER_00: And said, I don't know who you're taking on a date, but you should take me instead.
[12:20] SPEAKER_00: And Zach was like, What?
[12:21] SPEAKER_00: Like, this is so out of left field.
[12:22] SPEAKER_00: Like they hadn't been talking, there was nothing going on between him and his ex, and he was like, Is this for real or is this like a last-ditch effort?
[12:30] SPEAKER_00: Because I literally just told her I'm taking another woman on date, whatever.
[12:36] SPEAKER_00: Zach's a good man though, because it didn't face him.
[12:40] SPEAKER_00: He said he wasn't even like it didn't even cross his mind.
[12:43] SPEAKER_00: He was like laser focused on Shannon.
[12:45] SPEAKER_00: So then he was like, oh my gosh, like really what do I do now?
[12:48] SPEAKER_00: So then they started going back and forth a little bit, and Katie's like, screw it.
[12:53] SPEAKER_00: She's like, let me see if I can sh I this is like crazy to me.
[12:56] SPEAKER_00: I I guess they have like a healthy relationship with with each other.
[12:59] SPEAKER_00: I don't have a good relationship with any of my exes personally, but um this gal, Katie, was like, she she came around, Zach was really polite and was like, hey, like, you know, I'm basically I'm really interested in this other girl.
[13:14] SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, things are over between you and I.
[13:16] SPEAKER_00: I hope you can respect that, whatever.
[13:18] SPEAKER_00: And Katie was like, yeah, I get it, whatever.
[13:20] SPEAKER_00: Because Katie was the freaking one to break up with him anyway.
[13:22] SPEAKER_00: So anyway, Katie's like, let me see if I can shift, if I can switch shifts with someone else, like on bar.
[13:28] SPEAKER_00: And so that's literally what happened earlier in the day.
[13:32] SPEAKER_00: And then what happened was is that Zach was driving Shannon to the restaurant, and Katie texted him and said, I have to stay an extra hour on my shift.
[13:43] SPEAKER_00: So then that's why Zach diverted to a bar down the street, because he's like, I just don't want them running into each other, basically.
[13:52] SPEAKER_00: And so the reason we found out why it was so awkward was when Zach finally showed up to the restaurant with Shannon, Katie was just shocked because she knew Shannon as like Zach's best friend.
[14:09] SPEAKER_00: And also like Shannon and Zach had been close for a very long time.
[14:15] SPEAKER_00: So the conclusion that Shannon and Zach like have drawn together is that when Katie saw that it was Shannon with Zach, she was like, oh my gosh, Shannon is the one that Zach is taking on a date.
[14:30] SPEAKER_00: And then they were probably like thinking, like, oh my gosh, then I wonder if that makes Katie feel like we had something like while they were still dating because we were best friends, but they really, really didn't.
[14:40] SPEAKER_00: So can you believe all of the tea that went on behind the scenes?
[14:44] SPEAKER_00: Bessie, I hope that made sense.
[14:45] SPEAKER_00: I hope I did a good job explaining that.
[14:47] SPEAKER_00: But basically, hot mess ex-girlfriend express is what that should have been called.
[14:52] SPEAKER_00: But the good news in all of this is like I said, Shannon and Zach have that smoochity smooch.
[15:00] SPEAKER_00: And um, she said that things have been just going really well and they've been dating, and she, I mean, it's only been like a week, but she said she's just loving every moment of it.
[15:09] SPEAKER_00: And she said a f a switch definitely flipped in her mind.
[15:12] SPEAKER_00: Like she's able to see him as like her someone she's dating and not just a friend anymore.
[15:18] SPEAKER_00: And she said it's been even sweeter too, because they have so many childhood memories, like it's totally giving like belly Jeremiah, whatever, belly Conrad, team Conrad.
[15:30] SPEAKER_00: Um, because like they just have so many childhood memories together, and she said it's really beautiful.
[15:35] SPEAKER_00: So anyway, girly pops, thank you for voting that she should ruin the friendship because she did.
[15:41] SPEAKER_00: And um, sounds like Katie lost out on a good man, but she's the one that broke up with Zach, so that's her loss.
[15:51] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so before we jump into our next part of the pod, time for a giveaway code.
[15:57] SPEAKER_00: So if you don't know how this works, Bestie, in the middle of each episode, I give away a code phrase.
[16:03] SPEAKER_00: This is reminiscent of the Lizzie McGuire sweepstakes that happened when we were little, where you'd have to tune into her episode.
[16:10] SPEAKER_00: She would have a code phrase pop up on the screen during her episode, and then you'd get to enter her contest to go to Disneyland with her.
[16:17] SPEAKER_00: So we came up with a Daniela, your BFF version, basically.
[16:20] SPEAKER_00: So again, this week I'm going to give away um makeup and skincare, and it's all like really nice quality.
[16:26] SPEAKER_00: Um, some of my favorite brands.
[16:28] SPEAKER_00: And if you want to enter to win, basically all you have to do is take the code phrase that I'm about to tell you and then um go leave it as a comment on the post on my Instagram that's like about the podcast.
[16:42] SPEAKER_00: So basically, just like the most recent post on my podcast page is perfect.
[16:48] SPEAKER_00: Just go leave a little comment with the with the code phrase.
[16:51] SPEAKER_00: So I think that this week's code phrase should be hot mess ex-girlfriend express.
[17:02] SPEAKER_00: Hot mess ex-girlfriend express.
[17:05] SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
[17:06] SPEAKER_00: Just because this is a long code phrase, I'm gonna pick two winners this week.
[17:10] SPEAKER_00: I have so much beauty and so much skincare and makeup that I got for these giveaways.
[17:15] SPEAKER_00: So let's just do, I'm gonna pick two winners this week.
[17:17] SPEAKER_00: So again, the code phrase is hot mess ex-girlfriend express.
[17:22] SPEAKER_00: Wait, I'm loving this.
[17:24] SPEAKER_00: Can we like can we put that on a t-shirt?
[17:27] SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
[17:28] SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
[17:30] SPEAKER_00: Okay.
[17:31] SPEAKER_00: So oh my gosh, Jake's on the phone downstairs.
[17:35] SPEAKER_00: He's really loud.
[17:35] SPEAKER_00: Can you hear him?
[17:36] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's let's answer a couple questions from the girly pops.
[17:41] SPEAKER_00: These are like dating related.
[17:43] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, okay, one of the girly pops said.
[17:47] SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're gonna call this.
[17:48] SPEAKER_00: Remember how we used to do back in the day the princess diary segment where it was like confessions, where it's like, I think this should be that that'll be this segment because it's like these are anonymous questions.
[17:59] SPEAKER_00: I'm not I'm not spilling who the tea like who the girlies are behind these.
[18:03] SPEAKER_00: But one of the girlies said, advice if you found out your boyfriend is watching only I'm gonna say only friends, only friends, if you know what I mean.
[18:15] SPEAKER_00: Okay.
[18:17] SPEAKER_00: This is Princess Ares, because this is stuff that we would write about in our diaries, but this is why we're talking about it here, right here, right now.
[18:24] SPEAKER_00: Sister, don't get mad at me.
[18:25] SPEAKER_00: If your boyfriend is watching only friends, you are no longer his fan, if you know what I mean.
[18:35] SPEAKER_00: Um, here's the thing.
[18:36] SPEAKER_00: There's a great analogy that I'm going to say.
[18:41] SPEAKER_00: I told you, Bestie, I'm like unhinged right now.
[18:52] SPEAKER_00: I consider something like Onlyfriends a seed.
[18:57] SPEAKER_00: And when a seed is watered, it grows into a tree.
[19:03] SPEAKER_00: Does that make in that are you putting up are you picking up what I'm putting down?
[19:07] SPEAKER_00: Basically, if a man ha has habits like that, they will grow into something bigger.
[19:15] SPEAKER_00: And if a man specifically has habits like that, that means that he does not just have eyes for you.
[19:22] SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with you.
[19:25] SPEAKER_00: It's him.
[19:26] SPEAKER_00: In fact, I'm just gonna say there's something wrong with him.
[19:29] SPEAKER_00: He basically, in my opinion, this is like a lust issue.
[19:34] SPEAKER_00: He and that has nothing to do with you.
[19:36] SPEAKER_00: As a ma I always I always think like, and trust me, I've dated like the all the red flag Chads or all the red flags Okay, I shouldn't say it like that.
[19:46] SPEAKER_00: I've dated several red flag Chads.
[19:49] SPEAKER_00: So I get it, I've been there.
[19:51] SPEAKER_00: So this is not me preaching from afar.
[19:53] SPEAKER_00: This is me just saying, like, I've been there, I've been where you're at specifically.
[19:58] SPEAKER_00: And basically you have to take a step back and look at yourself in your life and say, do I want to be with a partner who does this?
[20:05] SPEAKER_00: Like remove yourself from him and just make it about you.
[20:09] SPEAKER_00: Do you want to be with a partner that does that?
[20:12] SPEAKER_00: What's the answer?
[20:13] SPEAKER_00: And then act accordingly.
[20:15] SPEAKER_00: Don't try to even talk him out of it.
[20:17] SPEAKER_00: Don't even convince him.
[20:18] SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing: I think that you probably want a man that's like ready.
[20:22] SPEAKER_00: He's like good to go.
[20:24] SPEAKER_00: He's like, you don't have to work on him, you don't have to try and fix him.
[20:27] SPEAKER_00: Like you are worthy of a man.
[20:29] SPEAKER_00: And the fact that like you're you're um, oh my gosh.
[20:34] SPEAKER_00: Jake's texting me.
[20:35] SPEAKER_00: Um, let me just text him back really quick.
[20:37] SPEAKER_00: It's actually like super urgent.
[20:38] SPEAKER_00: Uh one sec, one sec.
[20:43] SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, sorry.
[20:44] SPEAKER_00: We are doing like a crazy negotiation right now, and I see it happening in text.
[20:48] SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I need to go be a part of this.
[20:50] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, if that's not a little tea teaser right there.
[20:54] SPEAKER_00: Okay, so um, so sorry, sorry, sorry, I got distracted.
[21:00] SPEAKER_00: The fact that you're answering this question or asking this question, Bessie, it's showing me that like you have a problem with it.
[21:08] SPEAKER_00: And I think you should have a problem with it because I don't think that that's acceptable behavior.
[21:14] SPEAKER_00: And I I said this, I think on last week's like, if you have to start making excuses for your man or compromising in any way or negotiating with yourself, it's a no.
[21:25] SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing: I promise you that breaking up with him and ending the relationship is so much easier than staying in the relationship and dealing with the consequences of his actions.
[21:37] SPEAKER_00: Hand out, hands down, 10 out of 10, guaranteed.
[21:40] SPEAKER_00: And I I don't want to sound like true dramatic, even though, like, yes, I do, because I'm a drama queen.
[21:46] SPEAKER_00: The thing, the truth of it is, is that like the struggle of men is like egos, right?
[21:51] SPEAKER_00: And pride.
[21:52] SPEAKER_00: If a man has this sort of habit, I bet you that one day he will turn into a cheater.
[21:57] SPEAKER_00: Because if he's not already practicing in his high, heart to only have loyalty to his woman and to only have eyes for his woman.
[22:05] SPEAKER_00: Well then he doesn't have those personal guardrails because what what people do in secret, they will end up being they will end up doing in public.
[22:14] SPEAKER_00: What he does in secret will one day be exposed and will come out of him.
[22:19] SPEAKER_00: So like sister, I say break it off and here's the thing when you give something up God brings new blessings and like I know that on my podcast everybody comes from different religions and different beliefs and some people or I said not people.
[22:33] SPEAKER_00: We're girlies here.
[22:34] SPEAKER_00: Some girlies don't some girlies don't hold certain beliefs and that's totally fine.
[22:38] SPEAKER_00: We all we know all girlies are welcome here.
[22:41] SPEAKER_00: All of my besties are welcome here.
[22:43] SPEAKER_00: But you know, you know like where I come from I believe that like God loves us so much and God has good gifts for us and God wants to give us the desires of our heart and bestie I do in my life I'll just say from my life in my life I have seen that like when I give something up or something's taken away that God replaces it with something even better.
[23:02] SPEAKER_00: Like you know that little analogy where like there's a little girl holding a teddy bear and she's like no but Jesus I want it and then there's a Jesus and he has a big teddy bear behind his back and he's like but trust me it's like that I'll never forget to like seeing that image when I was dating my ex and I knew it in my soul I was like I gotta break up with this guy.
[23:21] SPEAKER_00: Okay one more question and then we're gonna move on to some love story stuff.
[23:24] SPEAKER_00: Okay I recently this is from another girly pop I recently broke up with my ex.
[23:29] SPEAKER_00: I found things out that completely broke me awesome for four years.
[23:35] SPEAKER_00: What is the best way to heal and get back to self-love and care?
[23:39] SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh my girl Well first of all I know this feeling I know this feeling all too well here's here's what I want to say Bestie if if you don't mind me giving you some like big sister love when I broke up with the guy that I truly thought I was gonna marry and like thank God I didn't I was way too young and I I didn't it was a good thing I didn't marry him but and I thought like oh this is the guy to marry whatever I did not think he was the one I I didn't have that like intuition but I just yeah I just was young and I didn't really know what was going on but when I broke up with him because I was so close with him and he was my best friend and all those things and I thought we're gonna get married it broke me it broke me to my core and I remember it being some of the worst pain I've ever experienced truly I think sometimes we don't give breakups enough enough credit and cause they can be so breakups do this funny thing where they convince you that there's nothing else in life like that there's not going to be any other men that there's not going to be any other good opportunities like they have this way of like shutting down your entire being and like keeping you in this mental hole and Bessie if I could go back and do there's like a couple things I'd go back and do different in my life but one of the main things I wish I could go back and do different is relive that breakup era because I was so down on myself and I chose to stay in discouragement.
[25:14] SPEAKER_00: I wish I could go back and tell myself that not only are you going to be okay but the things that are going to happen to you in your life because you chose not to stay in this relationship are so radical and incredible like baby girl you can't even imagine it you can't even see it.
[25:35] SPEAKER_00: You can't even fathom it I encourage you sister to take off your breakup glasses.
[25:42] SPEAKER_00: Anytime you start looking at something in life through the lens of your breakup and your discouragement and your heartbreak, sister, I know it's hard, but I want you to take off your breakup glasses and I want you to picture the best case scenario instead the best case scenario.
[26:00] SPEAKER_00: And then go back and think of all the hopes and dreams that you had for yourself personally before you met this person and think of the best case scenario of those things happening and coming true.
[26:12] SPEAKER_00: Because when we get in relationships even if they're fine and healthy relationships whatever we innately and naturally give up certain dreams and certain goals and certain hopes and even sometimes like certain personality traits it just happens naturally a lot of times in relationships sometimes good sometimes bad whatever but I want you to go back to you and to the person in your heart that you were before you started dating and I want you to write down and I want you to make a little vision board in Canva of or just a dream board just stuff that lights you up color aesthetics that light you up places you want to travel to dreams that you have for yourself moments you want to experience put those all in front of you on like a little dream board and write it in a journal and think about all the things that you wanted to do before you met that person and maybe those never change in the relationship.
[27:06] SPEAKER_00: That really doesn't matter I want you to focus on all the things that you want to accomplish and experience as a person and think about those things because here's the thing your world is so much bigger and your life is so much bigger than that person.
[27:19] SPEAKER_00: And if you're no longer with that person you were not supposed to stay with that person.
[27:24] SPEAKER_00: If you were supposed to be together you still would be the truth is the things that God has for you are too good.
[27:30] SPEAKER_00: You couldn't have afforded to stay with that person.
[27:32] SPEAKER_00: You told me that you found out some things that completely broke you well then he was not for you bestie so focus is everything and this goes for anything in life Bestie no matter where you're at your focus is everything because where you're looking at is where you go.
[27:48] SPEAKER_00: When you're driving a car, wherever your head is looking at that's the direction that you're going.
[27:53] SPEAKER_00: If you start looking to the right you have to turn to the right you can't go left with while you're looking to the right wherever your focus goes is where your energy flows and it's just it's just where your life heads so sister I want you to start looking in the direction that you want your life to go and that is going to be your breakup comeback yes your breakup come back your breakup come through come through oh my gosh wait what no come back breakup come back break break help break up break breakup come back break up break through my gosh this should be illegal right now I should not be podcasting this tired.
[28:41] SPEAKER_00: Here we are okay just okay this pod we are really cruising okay really quick let me just talk about a little bit of our love story I just want to encourage you Bestie that first of all you can meet your husband any day anytime it's all magic.
[28:56] SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be my new phrase it's all magic you never know you just have to keep trusting don't settle in the meantime and it will happen but also my girl um don't overthink it don't overthink it because um your life can unfold in amazing ways that you have no idea about I was actually talking with a friend today about how if you looked at our lives seven years ago they are stark lives it's not even the same life that we had seven years ago and it's amazing how so many beautiful and incredible blessings can unfold and this just comes to mind it's just on my heart because um I know it's like a topic like oh my gosh I need to like get out of debt before I can get married or I need to have a bunch of savings before I get married or I need to have like a house in line or lined up or I need to have XYZ and I need to have this job and Bessie I just want to encourage you that if you found your person go for it because it's been so fun like to watch God do his thing because like when Jake and I got married we we had nothing in fact like you know I brought a lot of like debt into the relationship a lot of debt into the relationship and um we like were living in an RV for a while and like we had no true plans of like we had dreams for our life but we did the dreams that we had there was no cookie cutter path to get there.
[30:26] SPEAKER_00: And so many people could have you know said and probably some people did but we probably just didn't well we didn't listen and was like oh you should have more of your finances in order before you take the plunge or like oh like what's your plan going to be and we just said screw it and we trusted and we went for it.
[30:43] SPEAKER_00: And I think that taking risks in life like good risks not dating red flag Chad and hoping and hoping he changes but like good risks take you to the next level in life so I don't know bestie if there's anybody like listening to this pod where you feel like you want to get married or you want to you know yeah if you want to get married I don't know why that's exactly on my heart but like you don't have XYZ figured out or maybe it's like totally unrelated.
[31:08] SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a career thing or maybe it's a move but you're like I don't have it all figured out Bessie you are the center of your love story okay you are the main character and it is going to work out for you.
[31:20] SPEAKER_00: God's gonna provide everything is going to work out together for your good so just do the thing Bessie whether it's like okay whether you know you have everything lined up and you really want to marry somebody but maybe somebody's been putting you putting a bug in your ear like oh you should have this more together in your life first.
[31:40] SPEAKER_00: Nope do you know how many hard things come up when you're a married couple like might as well just get started.
[31:45] SPEAKER_00: Throw me the hard things there's gonna be a million more hard things and that's why you know marrying somebody who's truly your partner in life is like amazing or maybe it's you want to move to the new city but you don't have enough savings.
[31:58] SPEAKER_00: Now I can't give any financial advice I'm not the person to do that but I will say that anytime I've taken a risk it has brought me to the next level in my life and I think that risk takers are the ones that freaking get it done change the world I don't know I know that was just like a little tidbit but Basti, thank you so much for hanging out with me for this episode um I your love story exists your love story is out there please go to the Call Me Back podcast Instagram which is linked in my bio for easy finding if you just go to Danielle your BFF you go to my bio you can just click it the Call Me Back podcast um tell me send me a message like what topics you want me to talk about next.
[32:44] SPEAKER_00: Do you want more story times?
[32:46] SPEAKER_00: Do you have questions?
[32:46] SPEAKER_00: Do you just have like topics you want me to chat about tell me tell me tell me because this podcast is all about you and it's all about our friendship and hanging out.
[32:56] SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah and thanks for your patience with me episode oh my gosh thanks for your patience with me bestie on this episode I'm not gonna lie it's been a really really challenging week and so um I am doing my best to like make my sentences make sense but talking to you is like the highlight of my week every week so I love you so much.
[33:18] SPEAKER_00: Thanks for being here is an amazing amazing plan for your life so stay true to who you are and do not give up and Bessie you're worthy of the desires of your heart okay make sure to subscribe hey bonus points Bessie if you leave me a review or you subscribe on like Insta uh what is it uh Spotify Apple I'm obsessed with you thanks for doing that means so much seriously just tap the button tap tap all right Bessie I love you so much call me back love you bye

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