# friendSHIPS

An episode of [Call Me Back with Daniella Your BFF](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1723564404), 4 Jun 2024, 39 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2333346/episodes/15191886-friendships.mp3

Need a little pick-me-up? This eppy will make you LOL with an UNbelievable EXposed story, lots of bff giggles (for good reason), and a deep dive into the topic of friendship! ⭐️ Listen on Spotify 💖 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎥 Watch on Youtube Follow on Instagram: 💗 @Daniella.your.bff 🎙️ @TheCMBpodcast

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_01: This is the Call Me Back Podcast.
[0:04] SPEAKER_01: This is Relatable and Motivational Girl Talk.
[0:06] SPEAKER_01: It is episode 10.
[0:08] SPEAKER_01: I'm with my BFF staff.
[0:10] SPEAKER_01: We have a good episode for you today.
[0:12] SPEAKER_01: Well, fingers crossed.
[0:13] SPEAKER_01: We're about to find out.
[0:15] SPEAKER_01: Um, and I don't know if I told you this.
[0:16] SPEAKER_01: I think I probably did, but um when my dad came and visited me, I I had him listen to our last episode.
[0:23] SPEAKER_01: Well, he asked to listen and I was like, okay.
[0:26] SPEAKER_01: And he was just in stitches.
[0:29] SPEAKER_01: He was just dying laughing the whole time.
[0:31] SPEAKER_01: He's like, this is amazing.
[0:33] SPEAKER_01: He's like, you guys actually do this.
[0:35] SPEAKER_01: And I was like, yeah.
[0:36] SPEAKER_01: He just thought it was so good.
[0:38] SPEAKER_01: Um and I thought that that was really fun, that he really liked our pod so much.
[0:43] SPEAKER_01: Um, so um got some exciting news today.
[0:50] SPEAKER_01: You know, Nivea, they sent me an email today and they said we would like to pay you$10,000 to post on your Instagram.
[1:02] SPEAKER_01: Stop.
[1:03] SPEAKER_01: And I within the first 30 seconds.
[1:06] SPEAKER_01: Are you being serious right now?
[1:07] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[1:08] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[1:08] SPEAKER_01: In the first 30 seconds, I spent every penny in my head of how I'm gonna send that 10 grand.
[1:16] SPEAKER_01: I keep reading the email.
[1:18] SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
[1:19] SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this seems too good to be true, first of all.
[1:23] SPEAKER_01: I've I've never gotten that type of offer.
[1:26] SPEAKER_01: And I thought, well, maybe this is just my lucky day.
[1:30] SPEAKER_01: And I keep reading, and like they have Nivea's Instagram linked, they have their website linked, like the agency, and I was like, oh my gosh.
[1:37] SPEAKER_01: Um, and then I realized like some grammar was off, and I was like, hmm, maybe they're just typing quickly because they're so excited to send me this email.
[1:46] SPEAKER_01: So then this is like a telltale sign, if that's how you say it, if that's what the phrase is.
[1:51] SPEAKER_01: Telltale?
[1:52] SPEAKER_01: Telltale sign?
[1:53] SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm gonna say?
[1:54] SPEAKER_01: Like what like the FBI measures that I took to see if it was a scam.
[2:00] SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I do you know what it is?
[2:03] SPEAKER_03: I don't know what you're gonna say.
[2:04] SPEAKER_03: No.
[2:05] SPEAKER_01: Okay.
[2:05] SPEAKER_01: I looked at the email address.
[2:08] SPEAKER_01: Yes, of course.
[2:09] SPEAKER_01: And it was NiveaCampaign at gmail.com.
[2:13] SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
[2:14] SPEAKER_01: And I was like, hmm, maybe they're just I you know.
[2:18] SPEAKER_01: So anyway, Jake does a deep dive on Nivea's Instagram to see.
[2:23] SPEAKER_01: He found a post from two years ago saying, be careful, people from blank blank blank are trying to scam.
[2:30] SPEAKER_01: And I was like, it was a it was a roller coaster in the matter of five minutes.
[2:35] SPEAKER_01: I was like, this is my big break.
[2:37] SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, I'm getting some new furniture in my house.
[2:41] SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, oh, it wasn't, it wasn't real, but it was kind of funny.
[2:45] SPEAKER_01: Okay, and then Jake reminded me.
[2:47] SPEAKER_01: So I saw um I watched this video this week that I thought was really good um for anyone that constantly feels like a sense of discouragement or defeat, or like they take rejection really personally, whether it's like something simple or or even like an email that you maybe have a business leader want to inquire about or whatever, and then you know, you get shot down.
[3:11] SPEAKER_01: I saw this video last week and I thought it was really powerful.
[3:14] SPEAKER_01: It happened to be this acting coach working with her student, but it went viral, and she was basic this girl was going on this huge audition and she was getting really nervous, and the teacher was like, No, no, no, you're you're thinking of this all wrong.
[3:27] SPEAKER_01: Basically, she said, When you go on an audition for a role, you don't have that role.
[3:33] SPEAKER_01: But yet, when actors audition for something and they don't get it, they feel like they've lost something.
[3:39] SPEAKER_01: And I feel that way sometimes with brands and relationships and you know, trying to make a living and all these things, it's like I will take it so personally, but it was never mine to begin with.
[3:50] SPEAKER_01: I didn't lose it because it wasn't mine, and I thought that was such a cool and powerful way to look at it.
[3:54] SPEAKER_01: Like what's meant for you will not miss you, that sort of thing, and not taking it so personally when you don't get something because it wasn't yours.
[4:01] SPEAKER_01: But Jake right away today when the Nibby thing wasn't real, he's like, Why are you sad?
[4:07] SPEAKER_01: It was never even yours, it wasn't real.
[4:09] SPEAKER_02: But I thought that that was kind of powerful, but I was so excited and it went downhill pretty quickly.
[4:15] SPEAKER_03: Oh man, that is rough.
[4:17] SPEAKER_03: That would have been super cool, but you know, yeah.
[4:21] SPEAKER_03: Isn't that isn't that so sad though?
[4:23] SPEAKER_03: That sometimes our first instinct is like this is fake, this is yes, too good to be true.
[4:31] SPEAKER_03: That I couldn't possibly be qualified or good enough or whatever to get something like this.
[4:40] SPEAKER_03: It just has to be fake.
[4:42] SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like yeah, in this case it was fake, but how sad that that's where we go.
[4:46] SPEAKER_01: Totally, because I think it's possible.
[4:49] SPEAKER_01: Like I think it's possible, or at least at some point I hope that it's possible.
[4:54] SPEAKER_01: And you're totally right.
[4:55] SPEAKER_01: I even thought that for myself.
[4:56] SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, that's kind of sad that I thought that, and kind of shows like what I think about myself.
[5:02] SPEAKER_01: So I know exactly what you mean.
[5:04] SPEAKER_01: Um can I take a sip of this water?
[5:09] SPEAKER_01: I don't want it to inter should I just with the sound?
[5:12] SPEAKER_01: Okay.
[5:16] SPEAKER_03: Water breaker.
[5:18] unknown: It's got a SMR though.
[5:20] unknown: I'll keep that out there.
[5:22] SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, such a cutting.
[5:26] SPEAKER_02: Okay, confession.
[5:29] SPEAKER_01: I've been burping a lot.
[5:32] SPEAKER_03: Yeah?
[5:33] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[5:34] SPEAKER_03: Like more than normal.
[5:36] SPEAKER_01: Yes.
[5:37] SPEAKER_01: I tried to not do it in front of Jake, but now it just happens all the time.
[5:41] SPEAKER_01: I don't think he's too pleased.
[5:43] SPEAKER_03: I stopped, I stopped trying instantly with my husband.
[5:49] SPEAKER_03: I don't think I ever actually tried to not there was a little there was a a bit of shock for him.
[5:57] SPEAKER_03: Like I would burp and he would look over like his jaw would be to the floor.
[6:03] SPEAKER_03: Like, what just came out of this girl's mouth?
[6:07] SPEAKER_03: And then he got used to it.
[6:08] SPEAKER_03: So but I'm just oh no, huh?
[6:12] SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
[6:14] SPEAKER_01: I was just gonna think and if you're drinking salt or waters, it's game over.
[6:18] SPEAKER_01: Done.
[6:19] SPEAKER_02: Game over.
[6:21] SPEAKER_02: Game over.
[6:24] SPEAKER_03: How did that chorus go?
[6:27] SPEAKER_03: Dang it.
[6:28] SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, did I tell you?
[6:30] SPEAKER_03: Did I tell you that I had something, I had something in my head.
[6:37] SPEAKER_03: Oh, I had white tea stuck in my head.
[6:40] SPEAKER_03: And then I went to Apple Music to listen to it.
[6:42] SPEAKER_03: Did I tell you this already?
[6:43] SPEAKER_02: No, no.
[6:44] SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
[6:45] SPEAKER_03: And then I was like, I went to Applebee's Applebee's?
[6:48] SPEAKER_02: Oh, Apple Music, okay.
[6:51] SPEAKER_03: I instantly went to Applebee's and had a marker, yeah.
[6:55] SPEAKER_03: Just kidding.
[6:56] SPEAKER_03: I went to Apple Music and I listened to it, and then I listened to all your other stuff, and then I listened to OG Danny Marie band stuff.
[7:07] SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry.
[7:08] SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
[7:09] SPEAKER_03: I was listening back and I'm like, this is like really high quality, like recordings.
[7:18] SPEAKER_03: Like the it all sounded like super, I think.
[7:23] SPEAKER_03: Like a high production value.
[7:24] SPEAKER_03: I'm like, wow.
[7:26] SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like 19 years old, and you pulled that off.
[7:30] SPEAKER_03: It's like crazy.
[7:31] SPEAKER_01: I think I was like 22.
[7:34] SPEAKER_01: I guess that's not that far off from 19.
[7:36] SPEAKER_01: You know, my mom, she really I have her to thank for it.
[7:40] SPEAKER_01: She took me to the studio in Nashville, and she really believed in me and made it happen, and it was so sweet.
[7:48] SPEAKER_01: Um, I just remembered the chorus.
[7:50] SPEAKER_01: This time I won't play your game, and you've only got yourself blame.
[7:57] SPEAKER_01: For those of you that don't know what we're talking about, I used to write and do country music, baby.
[8:03] SPEAKER_01: Um, we've left that, we've left that in the past.
[8:06] SPEAKER_01: Um, speaking of leaving things in the past, I get so proud of myself when I come up with a good segue.
[8:14] SPEAKER_01: Um, quick little exposed story where we expose our exes.
[8:19] SPEAKER_01: This one is from a sweet girl on Instagram.
[8:22] SPEAKER_01: By the way, ever since I started posting these stories on my Instagram, I have hundreds of DMs with stories I'm working on going through.
[8:32] SPEAKER_01: It is insane.
[8:34] SPEAKER_01: What's really insane to me is the stuff that this these guys do.
[8:38] SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this is it's I don't like it feels not real, but I know it's real because obviously they're not gonna lie.
[8:46] SPEAKER_01: But then also I've seen firsthand this sort of behavior.
[8:50] SPEAKER_01: I've experienced it, but like every time I see something, I'm like, this can't be real.
[8:53] SPEAKER_01: So um, sweet little Alyssa, she wrote in on Instagram, she said that her now it's her ex, but she was out with her boyfriend Andrew.
[9:02] SPEAKER_01: We're calling him Andrew, it's not his real name, but I said let's protect this boy because you know, witness protection program um after this one.
[9:10] SPEAKER_01: Um, but so they went out to the bar for her for his birthday, and his whole family was there.
[9:15] SPEAKER_01: So Alyssa shows up at the bar with Andrew, quickly realizes nobody in his family or friend group knows that they're dating.
[9:23] SPEAKER_01: Like he never told his family, this is my girlfriend, and I'm dating this girl.
[9:27] SPEAKER_01: So she immediately kind of like retreats, not physically, but you know, emotionally, like, oh my gosh, this is it's embarrassing.
[9:34] SPEAKER_01: Like, it's humiliating.
[9:35] SPEAKER_01: And I know that's like one bone to pick with exes that a lot of females have.
[9:39] SPEAKER_01: Like, when he doesn't announce you or introduce you to his family, you're like, okay, this guy must not be serious, whatever.
[9:45] SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, she said that they're at the first bar.
[9:47] SPEAKER_01: This girl comes up, starts talking to Andrew, but she can't really make out what's going on.
[9:52] SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's ironic.
[9:53] SPEAKER_01: Make out what's going on.
[9:54] SPEAKER_01: Freudian slip, uh, foreshadowing, is that what they call it?
[9:57] SPEAKER_01: Do I remember that from writing?
[10:00] SPEAKER_01: So um grab uh this girl, this chick, random chick, grabs his hand, they go outside.
[10:05] SPEAKER_01: She he comes back quickly, so she's like, uh, whatever, like I'm not gonna worry.
[10:08] SPEAKER_01: Then her friends an hour later send her a Snapchat post.
[10:13] SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, you guys, my story must suck.
[10:15] SPEAKER_01: Stephanie is yawning.
[10:19] SPEAKER_03: Oh, so it's not you.
[10:21] SPEAKER_03: It's okay.
[10:22] SPEAKER_03: It's not you, it's me.
[10:23] SPEAKER_03: No, no, it's okay.
[10:24] SPEAKER_03: I've been yawning a lot lately.
[10:25] SPEAKER_03: I'm very tired.
[10:26] SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm tired too.
[10:27] SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
[10:28] SPEAKER_00: I'm tired too.
[10:29] SPEAKER_00: Oh, your camera is great.
[10:31] SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
[10:37] SPEAKER_01: Okay, sorry.
[10:38] SPEAKER_01: Okay, so she goes.
[10:40] SPEAKER_01: Okay, so her friend sent her Snapchat of them, of Andrew and this other girl making out.
[10:44] SPEAKER_01: I don't know how Snapchat works.
[10:46] SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you send it, but whatever.
[10:48] SPEAKER_01: She received it.
[10:48] SPEAKER_01: She saw her boyfriend making out with this chick.
[10:51] SPEAKER_01: By this time, they're at the second bar, and all Andrew can talk about is going back to the first bar.
[10:55] SPEAKER_01: So she's like, okay, something is definitely up.
[10:57] SPEAKER_01: So they go back to the first bar with the family.
[10:59] SPEAKER_01: I just saw you hold in that yawn.
[11:02] SPEAKER_01: Go back to the first bar with the family.
[11:06] SPEAKER_01: And um, you know what?
[11:08] SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna start a new phrase.
[11:10] SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm not depressed.
[11:11] SPEAKER_01: Maybe I just needed to have a podcast with my best friend.
[11:15] SPEAKER_01: This is so sporadic, but that's or no, chaotic.
[11:18] SPEAKER_01: It's both of those.
[11:19] SPEAKER_01: I always doubt my vocabulary when I'm on this pod.
[11:22] SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna yawn again.
[11:24] SPEAKER_01: That's okay, keep yawning.
[11:26] SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so then where are we at with Alyssa and Andrew?
[11:29] SPEAKER_01: Okay, she gets the Snapchat.
[11:31] SPEAKER_01: They're back at the second bar.
[11:32] SPEAKER_01: Andrew's only, he just keeps wanting to go back to the first bar, and she's like, oh my gosh, this is not good.
[11:36] SPEAKER_01: They go back to the first bar.
[11:37] SPEAKER_01: This time that chick is still there, but then they make out in front of her.
[11:41] unknown: What?
[11:42] SPEAKER_01: Seriously.
[11:43] SPEAKER_01: I know, I know.
[11:45] SPEAKER_01: It's giving immature, it's giving spineless, it's giving jellyfish.
[11:49] SPEAKER_01: I don't like it.
[11:50] SPEAKER_01: So then she's like, she obviously feels really weird.
[11:53] SPEAKER_01: And people were saying in the comments when I posted this on Instagram, they're like, why didn't she leave right then and there, this, that?
[11:59] SPEAKER_01: I can honestly relate to her though.
[12:01] SPEAKER_01: If I was in that situation, I would feel so humiliated.
[12:05] SPEAKER_01: And if I was in my early 20s when I was dating somebody like this, I was still in that people-pleasing, like, don't know how to stand up for myself, don't know how to outwardly communicate when I'm in uncomfortable situations.
[12:16] SPEAKER_01: And I could totally relate to just like standing there and feeling so embarrassed, and also like, how confusing is that?
[12:21] SPEAKER_01: Like, your boyfriend is making out with another girl.
[12:23] SPEAKER_01: Like, I would feel so overwhelmed.
[12:26] SPEAKER_01: Like, it's a lot to take in.
[12:27] SPEAKER_01: So everybody needs to go easy on her because this is a lot.
[12:31] SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, um, they're making out.
[12:33] SPEAKER_01: So, the mom was the DD, the mom took them back to Andrew's house, and um, she said she just left.
[12:39] SPEAKER_01: Like, that was it.
[12:40] SPEAKER_01: She didn't even say anything to him.
[12:41] SPEAKER_01: She just felt she was, you know, she was holding it all inside.
[12:43] SPEAKER_01: So she said the next day she confronted him and she was like, Hey, you know, I don't know what's going on with you.
[12:49] SPEAKER_01: This is not cool.
[12:49] SPEAKER_01: Like, we're done, I'm done.
[12:51] SPEAKER_01: But she said they worked together.
[12:53] SPEAKER_01: So uh they worked together.
[12:55] SPEAKER_01: Andrew spent, she said, like months like trying to make it up to her, like every day at work that they had the same shift, just like apologizing, whatever.
[13:01] SPEAKER_01: And she's like, No, no, no.
[13:02] SPEAKER_01: But this is what I love because I've been asking, I'm like, girlies, do you have happy endings at all to any of this?
[13:09] SPEAKER_01: And we know that sometimes we don't get that happy ending for a long time, and that's very, that's very okay.
[13:14] SPEAKER_01: Takes a long time.
[13:15] SPEAKER_01: All good things take time.
[13:17] SPEAKER_01: Um, but she said that literally the day after this all went down, one of her good guy friends who she's been friends with for forever, here hit her up and said he had been thinking about her and that he wanted to take her out, and they instantly just like connected on a romantic level and they're still together.
[13:33] SPEAKER_01: Wow, that is so cute.
[13:36] SPEAKER_01: I know.
[13:37] SPEAKER_01: So it's like exposed turned fairy tale.
[13:40] SPEAKER_01: Beauty from the ashes, if you will.
[13:42] SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
[13:43] SPEAKER_01: So I was really happy for her.
[13:44] SPEAKER_01: And I feel like sometimes the girlies they just want to hear that.
[13:47] SPEAKER_01: They're like, okay, we we can relate to these crazy stories, but we need a little hope.
[13:53] SPEAKER_01: And I don't think I've ever seen somebody yawn so much.
[13:58] SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's going on with me.
[14:00] SPEAKER_01: I'm a chronic yawner.
[14:01] SPEAKER_01: No, it's okay.
[14:02] SPEAKER_01: This is an this is the latest we've ever podted.
[14:05] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[14:06] SPEAKER_01: Because we would pod before in the nighttime.
[14:08] SPEAKER_01: We did 6 p.m.
[14:10] SPEAKER_01: So this is late.
[14:11] SPEAKER_01: Um, but I know I told you I had plans at eight.
[14:14] SPEAKER_01: Do you want to hear what they are?
[14:16] SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
[14:17] SPEAKER_01: We take our Bander Pump rules very seriously written in this house.
[14:22] SPEAKER_01: And um the oh my gosh, my computer is dictating this entire pod.
[14:27] SPEAKER_01: It's just writing everything down.
[14:29] SPEAKER_01: Um the live re You do.
[14:32] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um the dock.
[14:34] SPEAKER_01: It's great.
[14:36] SPEAKER_01: Um because we would pie before in the night.
[14:39] SPEAKER_01: That's all wrong.
[14:41] SPEAKER_01: Um, Indy, hi.
[14:43] SPEAKER_01: Chef something to say.
[14:44] SPEAKER_01: Steph's little daughter, fur daughter.
[14:47] SPEAKER_01: Um it's the Vanderpump reunion live.
[14:51] SPEAKER_01: It's in its the live, I know I just said it.
[14:53] SPEAKER_01: I'm just so excited.
[14:54] SPEAKER_01: Reunion.
[14:54] SPEAKER_01: So it's the drama is gonna be there.
[14:56] SPEAKER_01: Anyway, okay.
[14:58] SPEAKER_03: I don't know all the Vanderpump drama.
[15:01] SPEAKER_03: I know bits and pieces, but I don't watch Vanderpump rules.
[15:04] SPEAKER_03: Will the will Ariana and the dude Tom and Ray Raquel?
[15:14] SPEAKER_01: Raquel?
[15:15] SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
[15:15] SPEAKER_01: Rachel.
[15:16] SPEAKER_01: So Raquel decided to change her name back to Rachel.
[15:21] SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
[15:23] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's it's yeah.
[15:24] SPEAKER_01: I think that she, you know, I think Raquel is kind of like her Hollywood persona, and I think she just had to take a step back.
[15:31] SPEAKER_01: But um, she wasn't on it this season.
[15:34] SPEAKER_01: Um my understanding is that she's been in a mental health facility healing, which gosh, you would have to be because could you imagine if the whole world was against you?
[15:46] SPEAKER_01: That would be like my worst nightmare.
[15:50] SPEAKER_01: So I can relate to that, needing to go to a place to heal, but she wasn't on it, I guess, long story short.
[15:56] SPEAKER_01: So it's a whole mess.
[15:58] SPEAKER_01: These people are a little bit crazy, you know.
[16:00] SPEAKER_01: Um sorry, Steph keeps yawning.
[16:05] SPEAKER_02: We should have a yawn cam, like a kiss cam at the football game.
[16:08] SPEAKER_02: A yawn cam.
[16:10] SPEAKER_02: Are we taking count?
[16:11] SPEAKER_02: We should take count.
[16:12] SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
[16:13] SPEAKER_02: Like if you hit a certain yawn count, you win a prize.
[16:16] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[16:17] SPEAKER_01: Okay, so we're gonna talk about friendships today.
[16:23] SPEAKER_01: I had this thought.
[16:24] SPEAKER_01: It's a little cheesy, but it's okay.
[16:26] SPEAKER_01: Ships, they're meant to sail.
[16:28] SPEAKER_01: Some friendships aren't meant to last forever.
[16:31] SPEAKER_01: Actually, you could say some sail into the sunset and you live happily ever after.
[16:36] SPEAKER_01: And some sail away and you never see them again, and you just wonder why.
[16:40] SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's kind of like a common theme amongst the community of women on the gram that I think a lot of us women feel lonely or I think there's this overarching like feeling left out.
[16:56] SPEAKER_01: Um, I only know a few people really that have big friend groups.
[17:01] SPEAKER_01: Like, I I actually I only know one, I can picture like one or two people that have like really big friend groups.
[17:07] SPEAKER_01: I do think it's more rare.
[17:08] SPEAKER_01: I think that it's more common that you just have a couple good friends and that's it.
[17:12] SPEAKER_01: I don't think, I mean, that's how I am.
[17:14] SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with it.
[17:15] SPEAKER_01: But I do think that it's so easy, and I know I struggle with this.
[17:18] SPEAKER_01: I'll be on Instagram and I'll see a bunch of girls on a girls' trip, and I'm like, wow.
[17:23] SPEAKER_01: Um, even if it's people like sometimes it's people that I know, and I'm kind of like, oh man, I wish I would have gotten invited.
[17:30] SPEAKER_01: Why wasn't I invited?
[17:31] SPEAKER_01: Do they not like me?
[17:32] SPEAKER_01: Am I not fun?
[17:33] SPEAKER_01: Am I not this?
[17:33] SPEAKER_01: Am I not that?
[17:34] SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes it's just people I don't even know, and I'm like, wow, like how, how?
[17:40] SPEAKER_01: And then you're in Greece at these five-star resorts.
[17:42] SPEAKER_01: Like, this just seems like a lot.
[17:45] SPEAKER_01: So obviously, we know we're all working on comparison.
[17:47] SPEAKER_01: Comparison is the worst, um, and is quite literally the thief of joy.
[17:52] SPEAKER_01: It just is.
[17:52] SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyway, I thought it would be good to just talk about friendships and um I don't know, like, should we talk about like what makes a good friendship?
[18:03] SPEAKER_03: I love the ship analogy.
[18:06] SPEAKER_03: And some friendships are meant to hit an iceberg and then just like sink in the middle of the ocean and and die.
[18:16] SPEAKER_01: You know?
[18:17] SPEAKER_01: Yes, and you know what?
[18:19] SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
[18:20] SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I had an experience like that.
[18:22] SPEAKER_01: You know all about this.
[18:24] SPEAKER_01: Last year, it's been very confusing for me because I'm not somebody that abandons a friendship.
[18:29] SPEAKER_01: This person abandoned the friendship, quite literally jumped ship.
[18:33] SPEAKER_01: Wow.
[18:34] SPEAKER_01: Um, I saw this post yesterday, and it said, maybe God's not saying no, he's just saying not with them around.
[18:47] SPEAKER_01: And what made me think of is in my core, I had just a little bit of distrust of this person, and I couldn't put my finger on it.
[18:55] SPEAKER_01: I didn't know why.
[18:57] SPEAKER_01: I still think to this day we could have worked past and it would have been fine.
[19:00] SPEAKER_01: I don't think abandoning the friendship is like the way to go.
[19:03] SPEAKER_01: But uh, I always had a little something in my gut that told me to like be on guard, and it was a few months after this friendship ended that so many beautiful things in my life came about.
[19:15] SPEAKER_01: This podcast, my Instagram community, the Facebook community, everything that's really my dreams coming true.
[19:22] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, happened after this person who was an integral part of my situation for undercover lingo um left.
[19:34] SPEAKER_01: And I just think I it it kind of just hit me, you know, like sometimes you read stuff for like whatever.
[19:39] SPEAKER_01: This like punched me in the gut, and I'm like, that's so interesting.
[19:42] SPEAKER_01: And I always had that distrust.
[19:44] SPEAKER_01: And I was talking to a friend the other day, and she had something similar happen, and um I was I was telling her, like, I don't understand how this person can just leave a friendship, abandon it.
[19:58] SPEAKER_01: I've known her for so long, and she was saying, like, you can't understand it because you would never do that.
[20:04] SPEAKER_01: And it kind of brought me a little peace because I just knock my head up against a wall.
[20:08] SPEAKER_01: So like I literally, why, why, why, why, why I can't understand it.
[20:12] SPEAKER_01: Um, so I don't know.
[20:14] SPEAKER_01: That just kind of made me feel a little better.
[20:16] SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah, maybe I'll never understand it because it's just not something I would do.
[20:20] SPEAKER_01: Um, but anyway, on friendships, hitting the iceberg and drowning.
[20:26] SPEAKER_03: I feel like we could talk for hours about the concept of uh friendships and what it means to be a friend.
[20:36] SPEAKER_03: Because we both have had very pointed uh experiences with like the highs and lows of uh friendships and the dynamics, and I think what I've learned about myself is that when I'm your friend, I'm your friend, and there's there's not much that you could do to get me to not be your friend, and that my like my sense of loyalty has oftentimes it's been a really good thing, but it's also kind of come back to bite me in friendships where that wasn't reciprocated, and it's been easy for other people to deprioritize our friendship when for me it's like what why yeah why did why did that happen that way?
[21:39] SPEAKER_03: And I don't know, it's really hard to make friends, especially as you get older too.
[21:44] SPEAKER_03: Like I I I've never been someone that has that girl group that you were talking about, like those eight to ten girls that just do everything together, and yeah, I've never experienced that.
[21:56] SPEAKER_03: And I've always wanted that.
[21:59] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[22:00] SPEAKER_01: I feel like people aren't, um, a lot of times people don't want to invest in friendships or relationships.
[22:08] SPEAKER_01: It's like more on a convenience basis or like, um, I hate to say I saw this post the other day, but I saw this post the other day about if you're the friend that always reaches out, and she was saying like she just decided to stop reaching out and she realized that people didn't reach out and it broke her heart.
[22:25] SPEAKER_01: And I just think that a lot of people, um, and we all go through different seasons and we're going through things and like this and that.
[22:31] SPEAKER_01: So you're not always gonna be 100% yourself, but I do think a lot of people can be selfish um or operate in a more like self-centered way, and not maybe not so much anymore like being in my 30s, but when I was in my 20s, I definitely felt that and I I was part of that.
[22:47] SPEAKER_01: Like you're so consumed in what you're doing and like trying to pay rent and try to just figure out life and figure out who you are.
[22:54] SPEAKER_01: Um, but I it is hard to find people that really want to like invest back in a friendship because what like what good is a friend if it's only on convenience anyway?
[23:05] SPEAKER_01: Um like you said, like loyalty is really important.
[23:08] SPEAKER_01: I think investing it's almost kind of like dating, like just reaching out, being like, Do you want to hang out?
[23:13] SPEAKER_01: Like those things I think matter a lot and they add up a lot.
[23:16] SPEAKER_01: And you're right, it is really hard to find as you get as you get older.
[23:21] SPEAKER_03: I feel like for me, what the biggest thing that I've learned to learn about myself, but also to look for in friends and to maybe appreciate more within my friendships is that when someone becomes my friend and they're like, this is a permanent person in my life, they've now created a person-shaped hole in my heart.
[23:47] SPEAKER_03: Like there's a there's a Daniela-shaped hole in my heart that nobody could ever fill.
[23:55] SPEAKER_03: And and I realize I'm just that I'm that kind of person where I'm not like I have this, I have this need, I have this generic, round-shaped friend hole that I can put anyone in there and they'll fill it, but then oh, if something goes wrong, well, okay, I'll take them out and then I'll look for the next person to fill it.
[24:18] SPEAKER_03: Like that is so not me.
[24:20] SPEAKER_03: And so yeah, when I don't see that in other friends, I have to adjust my expectations.
[24:30] SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
[24:30] SPEAKER_03: So I'm reserving those like specific shapes for people that I know do that with me.
[24:38] SPEAKER_03: Does that make sense?
[24:39] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, it does.
[24:41] SPEAKER_01: I pictured a little gingerbread man when you were first saying that.
[24:44] SPEAKER_01: I don't know why, but just like the little shape.
[24:46] SPEAKER_01: That's a great way to put it.
[24:47] SPEAKER_01: Um, my mom, I remember her saying quite a few times growing up, like when I would put too much pressure on different friends, like when I was younger, she'd be like, You're putting way too much pressure, by the way, like on friends.
[25:01] SPEAKER_01: But she would say, like, you have different friends, like you're saying that have that are very unique in different shapes.
[25:06] SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have some friends that you can go do anything with at any time you're gonna have the best time.
[25:12] SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have your other friends that maybe it's more of a on a serious level.
[25:16] SPEAKER_01: Maybe you have deeper talks, you have this, that.
[25:19] SPEAKER_01: Maybe you have another friend that you connect with on a different level, but like you're gonna have different friendships that mean different things.
[25:25] SPEAKER_01: And I think that that was also something that helped me when I was a bit younger because I would think, like, oh my gosh, I I don't know, I just put pressure on different friendships.
[25:34] SPEAKER_01: It's like you wouldn't do that on a relationship, you wouldn't really do that on somebody that you're dating.
[25:38] SPEAKER_01: You let the person be who they are, you love them for who they are, and different friends are there for different reasons, and just like I serve different friends in different ways, or I'm sure I'm different to different people.
[25:51] SPEAKER_01: Um and what was the other thing?
[25:54] SPEAKER_01: Oh, I think another important friendship lesson that I've learned is like just because some somebody in one party does something wrong or rude or bad or mean or whatever the term would be in that situation, doesn't mean that you should end the friendship, like at all.
[26:11] SPEAKER_01: Like, of course, it could come to a point where if someone's you know being nasty or whatever, like this is not mentally healthy for me to be here anymore, cut that off by all means.
[26:21] SPEAKER_01: But like, friendships are not meant to be perfect.
[26:24] SPEAKER_01: I think people give up way too soon on friendships.
[26:27] SPEAKER_01: And it's like you and I, we have the longest friendship, we have the most beautiful friendship, and it's like when you spend 15, 20, 30, 40 years with somebody, stuff's bound to go down.
[26:40] SPEAKER_01: Don't give up on something, don't call a quits on something just because something small happens.
[26:46] SPEAKER_01: Like, and I think that's kind of um not to throw a blanket our statement, but like I think that sometimes our culture can teach, especially nowadays, like some stuff's so easy, it's so fast, like, oh, this becomes inconvenient for you, ditch it.
[27:00] SPEAKER_01: I don't think that's true at all.
[27:01] SPEAKER_01: I think like it's it's okay.
[27:04] SPEAKER_01: And like I think I needed to hear that at certain points in my life.
[27:06] SPEAKER_01: Like, it's okay that this person hurt your feelings.
[27:09] SPEAKER_01: It's okay that this person sent a text that you thought was rude.
[27:12] SPEAKER_01: Like, you just have to communicate about it and you can totally fix it.
[27:16] SPEAKER_01: And it's really it can be it can be that simple.
[27:20] SPEAKER_01: That's why I really think even like the 24-hour text rule is so powerful, and there's been so many times in my life where I haven't followed that.
[27:28] SPEAKER_01: But like if someone texts you something, you're a little bit upset or a lot upset, wait 24 hours before you respond.
[27:35] SPEAKER_01: Cause like I feel like I have seen friendships get ruined.
[27:39] SPEAKER_01: Not any of mine personally, thank goodness, but um get ruined because of like people just responding off emotion and then it escalates and then they're done.
[27:48] SPEAKER_01: Um so I think I don't know, that's also a valuable thing.
[27:52] SPEAKER_01: But um, I think friendships are probably one of the most important uh I mean, besides marriage, I think it's probably the most important thing in this physical world that keep us going.
[28:05] SPEAKER_01: But for anybody that's listening, um, who might feel like alone or like they don't have friends, first of all, it is totally okay and totally normal to go through a season where you don't know anybody, or maybe the only people that you know are only a phone call away and you don't have anybody you can see in person.
[28:23] SPEAKER_01: Um, you're not lame for that.
[28:25] SPEAKER_01: You're not the only one that's going through that.
[28:27] SPEAKER_01: I think it's more common than we think.
[28:30] SPEAKER_01: And I also um saw on IG um this gal, beautiful gal, post the cutest post with her friend.
[28:39] SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh my gosh, I love this post.
[28:41] SPEAKER_01: Like they were just having the best time together, and I was like, Love this post.
[28:44] SPEAKER_01: They just look so happy, and I'm like, they're the cutest little besties, just living their best life.
[28:48] SPEAKER_01: And she responded to me and she said, Thanks, girl.
[28:51] SPEAKER_01: I've been praying for a friendship like this for so long.
[28:55] SPEAKER_01: And it kind of brought that perspective to me, like, oh, I always struggle with comparison, but also like pray for good friends to come into your life, like God is listening.
[29:05] SPEAKER_01: Um, and I thought that that was really beautiful.
[29:08] SPEAKER_01: That's honestly like when I think of my prayer list, that's not something I'm like thinking to pray for.
[29:13] SPEAKER_01: It's just not, and I was like, oh my god, that's such a beautiful idea to to be praying for that.
[29:18] SPEAKER_01: Like, um, and I thought that that was that was really cool.
[29:22] SPEAKER_03: That is super cool.
[29:24] SPEAKER_03: I think there's there's much more of this flight mentality, you know, like fight or flight.
[29:33] SPEAKER_03: Um where it's okay to abandon friendships.
[29:39] SPEAKER_03: It's like that's acceptable when it's like no, that's you're never gonna have a friendship that's fulfilling if you're constantly choosing to fly away from conflict.
[29:52] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, totally.
[29:53] SPEAKER_03: I kind of look at friendships sometimes like they are a marriage.
[29:57] SPEAKER_03: Like I'm not gonna w walk away from my husband because we uh have a disagreement, and yeah, that's not gonna change how much I love him.
[30:06] SPEAKER_03: It just means that, like, okay, we get to figure this out together and maybe it's gonna look ugly.
[30:12] SPEAKER_03: Um but it's not gonna change like the foundation of like we're in this together.
[30:19] SPEAKER_03: We're like yeah, we're fight, you know?
[30:22] SPEAKER_03: And so I feel like I feel like that's something that can do just so much damage, is like people looking at their friendships, like it's an option to just abandon it.
[30:32] SPEAKER_03: And at the end of the day, it is an option.
[30:35] SPEAKER_03: Like we have, you know, we can all choose to do what we want to do, but is it the right option?
[30:40] SPEAKER_03: No.
[30:41] SPEAKER_03: Um I think we all make mistakes.
[30:43] SPEAKER_03: I think we need to give the other person as much grace as as we want to be given.
[30:49] SPEAKER_03: And I if if you just if your hearts are in the right place and if you're like humble, if you're humble about the reality of what uh like pain you've caused, and you can talk about things openly, like there's no reason why something needs to end.
[31:07] SPEAKER_03: And totally we have to we have to stop like flying away from our friends because we don't know how to navigate certain things or it's tricky.
[31:16] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
[31:18] SPEAKER_01: And if somebody on the opposite side of that, for me it was so hard that someone did just walk away let them go.
[31:29] SPEAKER_01: Because that for me, that was like the hardest thing.
[31:33] SPEAKER_01: And if some if if you don't want somebody in your life anyway who is willing to leave at the earliest inconvenience on their end.
[31:42] SPEAKER_01: But um, if anybody, you know, is feeling like they've been abandoned by a friend, I am really sorry.
[31:48] SPEAKER_01: I know what that's like.
[31:49] SPEAKER_01: It's very hard.
[31:51] SPEAKER_01: I don't think you can make sense of it, but I also have this deep sense, like even as I'm talking now, like there's a bigger reason why that happened.
[31:59] SPEAKER_01: Like sometimes in life, I feel like when things just don't make sense, I'm like, God, God is behind it.
[32:05] SPEAKER_01: Not that it's this big, mysterious whatever, but I don't know.
[32:10] SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
[32:11] SPEAKER_01: I just feel like there's more to it.
[32:13] SPEAKER_01: Um, and we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.
[32:22] SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so this is kind of actu okay, this is actually pretty vulnerable.
[32:27] SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna go for it.
[32:28] SPEAKER_01: So the other, well, like a month ago, I made a post about like my favorite jeans not fitting anymore.
[32:34] SPEAKER_01: And the girlies related to that.
[32:36] SPEAKER_01: And um a brand saw that and they're like, Can we send you our bodysuit?
[32:41] SPEAKER_01: You can try it and see, because they're known, I guess, for like actually a lot of their when they work with influencers creators, a lot of their videos are girl girls trying to zip their jeans, they don't zip.
[32:52] SPEAKER_01: And then you put on this bodysuit and it zips.
[32:55] SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'll try it, but if it doesn't work, if it doesn't, if it doesn't go over well, like I'm not gonna share it.
[33:03] SPEAKER_01: So yesterday was a little bit humbling because I shot the video and I I didn't like I did it all on camera for the first time.
[33:11] SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't want to try on the bodysuit, see if it worked.
[33:13] SPEAKER_01: I didn't want to go through all that.
[33:15] SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm gonna throw up the camera, I'm gonna film it, I'm gonna see if it works.
[33:19] SPEAKER_01: And if it doesn't, I won't do it.
[33:21] SPEAKER_01: If it does, great, it's already on camera.
[33:23] SPEAKER_01: So, first of all, there's nothing like putting on a pair of jeans that you know is not gonna fit.
[33:28] SPEAKER_01: You're like, okay, I have to really brace myself for this.
[33:32] SPEAKER_01: And then um I shoot everything in my car because it's just what I do.
[33:37] SPEAKER_01: So, like, you know, when you're sitting down, your stomach's already folding over your jeans.
[33:41] SPEAKER_02: So I am sitting there with my jeans completely unzipped, and my stomach is just completely out.
[33:50] SPEAKER_01: And um, like I was getting, I think I cut most of it out of the edit, but I was getting emotional while I was doing this because I was like, this is a lot.
[33:59] SPEAKER_01: It also got really hot in the car.
[34:01] SPEAKER_01: I'm like literally changing in the car, pulling up my jeans, putting on the bodysuit, pulling it off.
[34:07] SPEAKER_01: Like it was just kind of intense.
[34:09] SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm also gonna start my period next week, so I just feel like I'm a little extra emotional, you know, and sensitive.
[34:14] SPEAKER_01: So anyway, I try on the I put on the bodysuit, it totally worked.
[34:19] SPEAKER_01: My jeans completely buttoned, and like you'll when you see the video, you'll see the dark difference.
[34:25] SPEAKER_01: And um, and so like the video ended up being great, and it is actually a fantastic bodysuit.
[34:32] SPEAKER_01: Um it's actually pretty cool.
[34:34] SPEAKER_01: I've never seen one quite like this.
[34:35] SPEAKER_01: Like any bodysuits that I own, they're just tight everywhere.
[34:38] SPEAKER_01: This one is super cinched in the waist, they like stitch it a certain way in the waist, and it's super tight and like uh not like a corset, it's not a corset material, stretchy, but it has that kind of vibe.
[34:49] SPEAKER_01: And then in the bust area, um, it it's looser.
[34:53] SPEAKER_01: So you just feel like you can breathe a little bit, where other ones like, um, anyway, but I show Jake this video and he looks at me and he's like, You're gonna post this?
[35:04] SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh no, is it that bad?
[35:08] SPEAKER_02: And like when I watch it, it's that bad.
[35:11] SPEAKER_01: It is that bad.
[35:12] SPEAKER_01: Um, so but I also like for whatever reason, like I know it's bad.
[35:19] SPEAKER_01: I know I probably look like add this to the list of things I never thought I would post on the internet, but I do feel like I don't care in the sense that like I have I I think I've gotten one negative comment on my videos, like since I started doing this in December.
[35:37] SPEAKER_01: So I'm not like worried about getting mean comments and stuff like that.
[35:40] SPEAKER_01: And I feel like if anything, girls are they're gonna get it.
[35:44] SPEAKER_01: They're gonna be like, oh, we get it.
[35:45] SPEAKER_01: Like, this is so relatable.
[35:47] SPEAKER_01: So I'm not worried about that, but I am a little worried, like I kind of look like a fool a little bit.
[35:52] SPEAKER_01: Just like who does that?
[35:54] SPEAKER_01: Like who it just looks so crazy.
[35:58] SPEAKER_01: And and like I captured part of my meltdown and me being super dramatic in it.
[36:02] SPEAKER_01: So anyway, it's I feel a little bit vulnerable.
[36:05] SPEAKER_01: By the time this is out, this episode's out, it'll probably be posted.
[36:09] SPEAKER_01: Um, but I will say, you feel free to leave some love on that video.
[36:13] SPEAKER_01: I do feel very vulnerable more than anything I've ever posted.
[36:16] SPEAKER_01: And if you do want um a good bodysuit, watch the vid because it's good.
[36:21] SPEAKER_01: But I guess that would be, I don't know if that's considered a confession, but um it's definitely be out there.
[36:26] SPEAKER_02: Like I almost want to block everybody that I know in real life before I post it because I don't want to see anybody that'll see me.
[36:36] SPEAKER_02: Anyway, I guess that's my confession.
[36:38] SPEAKER_03: You've stepped out of your comfort zone so many times, and how many of those times have you felt like it has gained you something that you wouldn't have gotten if you didn't?
[36:52] SPEAKER_03: Like, probably most of those times.
[36:54] SPEAKER_03: And this could be another one of those times, and you have no idea who's gonna watch that and be like, oh my gosh, I'm like ha she has so much confidence to post that.
[37:06] SPEAKER_03: Like, I wish I could be that confident, and it's gonna inspire, just like all your other content, inspire someone, and I just you know, just do it, you know?
[37:17] SPEAKER_02: Who cares for saying that?
[37:19] SPEAKER_02: That means a lot.
[37:21] SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
[37:22] SPEAKER_01: Oh well, thank you for saying that.
[37:23] SPEAKER_01: That's very nice.
[37:23] SPEAKER_01: And you know what, you're right.
[37:24] SPEAKER_01: I was thinking today how like I would really love, like, I think if I could go back in time, one of the things I would change is like being less scared.
[37:30] SPEAKER_01: I wish I was less scared, just in life, like in certain things and doing certain things, like none of it matters.
[37:36] SPEAKER_01: Like, when you feel like you need to go talk to somebody to like make that relationship, make that connection.
[37:40] SPEAKER_01: I always be so scared.
[37:41] SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, just go do it.
[37:42] SPEAKER_01: No one cares.
[37:43] SPEAKER_01: Like, everybody's so wrapped up in their own little world, they're not worried about you.
[37:48] SPEAKER_01: But yeah, oh my gosh, my face is hot from talking about this.
[37:53] SPEAKER_02: I'm excited to see it.
[37:54] SPEAKER_02: I'll send it to you.
[37:56] SPEAKER_02: You can let me know what you think.
[37:57] SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I want to see it.
[37:58] SPEAKER_02: Like, you might need to be my buffer and be like, wait, actually.
[38:03] SPEAKER_01: Doubtful.
[38:04] SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
[38:05] SPEAKER_01: Oh, I just watched the clock turn from 7.59 to 8.
[38:10] SPEAKER_01: All right, we gotta get you out of here.
[38:12] SPEAKER_02: Uh any last parting words?
[38:16] SPEAKER_02: No.
[38:19] SPEAKER_02: From the girl who's yawned 40,000 times in this episode.
[38:23] SPEAKER_01: She's like, no, I'm ready for bed.
[38:26] SPEAKER_01: On that note, thanks for tuning in.
[38:29] SPEAKER_01: We will see you soon, or we'll talk to you soon.
[38:33] SPEAKER_01: Love you, girlies.
[38:34] SPEAKER_01: Call me back.
[38:35] SPEAKER_01: Love you, bye.
[38:37] SPEAKER_01: Was that good?
[38:38] SPEAKER_03: I do.
[38:42] SPEAKER_03: You should leave that in.
[38:44] SPEAKER_03: Maybe I will.
[38:45] SPEAKER_03: Maybe I will.
[38:46] SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.

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