# Ep 69 Can Boundaries Actually Solve Your Dog’s Struggles at Home? & Stinky Socks

An episode of [Help! My Dog: The Podcast. Dog Behaviour & Training Strategies that Work!](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1721245241), 26 Mar 2025, 18 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2287608/episodes/16738147-ep-69-can-boundaries-actually-solve-your-dog-s-struggles-at-home-stinky-socks.mp3

If you have dogs zooming around the house, jumping on guests, launching off at every sound or creating chaos with your other dogs, you might be amazed to hear that something as simple as their bed could be your ticket to a calmer home! In this episode, we’re diving into the magic of boundaries – what they are, why they matter and how they can transform life with your dog (or dogs!). From multi-dog household struggles, visitors, doorbells and more, boundaries taught the right way can be a game-changer. We’ll also chat about a common question: Are our dogs allowed on the sofa? Plus, we’ll share a hilarious cringe story and unpack how to get to the bottom of a problem to solve more than just the symptoms. And if you want to learn more about teaching your dog boundaries, we have a special invitation just for our wonderful podcast listeners to join the Help! My Dog Hub! All you have to do is go to: https://www.helpmydog.com/hub ................ Whether your dog is unpredictable with other dogs or predictably bad… Whether it looks like freezing, barking, lunging or running away… Whether you are just starting out on your dog-owning journey or your dog has been labelled as having a “behaviour problem”… … this episode is for you and is going to give you huge insights! Want to join the Help! My Dog Online HUB? Here's the link: www.helpmydog.com/hub Dr Tom is a world-renowned veterinarian, behaviourist and dog trainer and director of the Behavet behaviour clinic (rated Excellent on Trustpilot), which sees over 400 pet behaviour consultations each and every month no matter where you are in the world. In 2023, he started Help! My Dog, an online dog behaviour learning platform to help even more owners all over the world and show that dog behaviour transformation is not only possible but it's FUN, with the right know-how! Make sure to subscribe/follow the podcast for the free weekly episodes! Useful Links: Follow Help! My Dog on FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/helpmydogofficial/ Schedule a Consultation with Behavet: https://www.beha.vet/ Follow Behavet on FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/behavet

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_00: I was mortified.
[0:01] SPEAKER_00: There's a sort of happy ending.
[0:03] SPEAKER_00: Pew.
[0:04] SPEAKER_00: What?
[0:05] SPEAKER_00: No, don't do this at home, guys.
[0:08] SPEAKER_00: Before we dive in, a warning.
[0:11] SPEAKER_00: The content of this podcast may not be appropriate for some young listeners.
[0:16] SPEAKER_00: This is real life, and that means that sometimes it can be a little bit graphic.
[0:21] SPEAKER_00: So listen on at your own peril.
[0:24] SPEAKER_00: As a veterinarian, dog behaviourist, best-selling author, and trainer, over the past decade I've had an obsession with transforming the behaviour of dogs, understanding their brains and creating practical strategies that you can implement easily at home.
[0:38] SPEAKER_00: I know all too well when the dream you imagined when you first got your dog is far from your daily reality.
[0:45] SPEAKER_00: In fact, out of the blue, a few months ago, my little dog Gorse was bitten by a dog 20 times her size.
[0:52] SPEAKER_00: And suddenly our life of stress-free walks, a calm and cuddly household, and being teammates was replaced with reactivity, anxiety, and worrying about what's around the next corner.
[1:03] SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
[1:03] SPEAKER_00: Tom.
[1:04] SPEAKER_00: This is the Help My Dog Podcast, and this is me documenting that journey of transformation, sharing my knowledge and experience with you and having a few laughs along the way.
[1:14] SPEAKER_00: Hello, HMD family.
[1:16] SPEAKER_00: Welcome to this episode of the Help My Dog Podcast.
[1:20] SPEAKER_00: And how's your week going?
[1:22] SPEAKER_00: It's it I feel like spring is here.
[1:24] SPEAKER_00: It's very exciting.
[1:27] SPEAKER_00: And it's my favorite time of the year where it's getting lighter and brighter really consistently, and it feels like, well, we're actually experiencing spring.
[1:36] SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I get a big energy boost at this time of year, and I um I'm sure many of you will as well.
[1:43] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um, especially if you don't love the winter like I don't, um, then you'll like the brightness.
[1:50] SPEAKER_00: So, um, what are we talking about in this episode?
[1:53] SPEAKER_00: Well, what I thought would be fun to do, what we've been doing in the Help My Dog Hub is we have been focusing on boundaries, okay?
[2:01] SPEAKER_00: Um, and what boundaries are are effectively you teach your dog to get on a bed on cue, stay on a bed calmly until released, no matter what is going on in the environment.
[2:14] SPEAKER_00: Now it has masses of application, right?
[2:17] SPEAKER_00: And there's a whole step-by-step of how to teach it, and it can be taught super, super wrong, and and it can be taught super super right, yeah, and it you know, it doesn't have to be hard.
[2:26] SPEAKER_00: Um and um and it has a variety of different, I guess, transformation points and and applications.
[2:37] SPEAKER_00: The first one is quite simply that if your dog loves being on their bed and you've taught them to love being on their bed and stay on their bed until released, they're basically not doing all kinds of other things.
[2:50] SPEAKER_00: And and so one question that I really commonly get asked is which is weird, I don't know why, because I don't even think about it, but it is do we let our dogs on the sofa?
[2:59] SPEAKER_00: And the answer is they're not not allowed on the sofa.
[3:02] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes, you know, if I if if I want to have a cuddle with one of them, I will call one of them up and we'll, you know, they'll be very happy about that and they'll sit on my lap and they'll they'll cuddle.
[3:13] SPEAKER_00: But interestingly, the and apart from the two mini Daxons, Thistle and Gorse, um, who do jump up on the sofa and fall asleep on the sofa, the other dogs do not jump up on the sofa of their own accord.
[3:27] SPEAKER_00: And yet that isn't something that we have necessarily specifically taught.
[3:33] SPEAKER_00: But rather they preferentially choose to get on their own boundaries, their own beds, or we do have a couple of boundary armchairs, right?
[3:42] SPEAKER_00: They they love their um I love their armchairs, um, and they preferentially get on those.
[3:49] SPEAKER_00: Why?
[3:50] SPEAKER_00: Because we've created those as valued areas, and so they don't do all kinds of other, they don't do all kinds of other stuff, right?
[3:59] SPEAKER_00: Um and um and the other thing that I always find really funny, whenever we post a photo um of um of like our our living room, we have a we have like a big rug, like a big wool rug, and it's basically I mean it's basically white.
[4:16] SPEAKER_00: Like it's sort of like made is like very slightly like cream, but very, very light.
[4:22] SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I'll get messages being like, how is that possible with dogs?
[4:26] SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, it's possible with dogs.
[4:28] SPEAKER_00: One, because they have their feet cle dried when they come in, um, but secondly, because what they do is they briefly like walk across the rug and get on their boundaries, and that's where they want to be.
[4:40] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not like I'm saying, like, stay, you must be there.
[4:44] SPEAKER_00: That's the only place you're allowed to be.
[4:45] SPEAKER_00: They literally want to be there, they go there.
[4:48] SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, there are all kinds of benefits, like you can have a white rug, no, there, but there are all kinds of you know, benefits that you don't even think about.
[4:56] SPEAKER_00: Like, we don't even think about certain things, and then I'll get a question or a message.
[5:00] SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh yeah, that is that's because of we, that's because of the boundary and their value for the boundary.
[5:07] SPEAKER_00: So, as I said, boundaries are go to the bed on cue, get on the bed, stay on the bed calmly until released, no matter what's going on.
[5:17] SPEAKER_00: So let's let's dial into the what's going on bit, right?
[5:21] SPEAKER_00: What distractions would you like your dog to stay on a bed for?
[5:27] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[5:28] SPEAKER_00: What distractions would you like them to continue to remain on their bed for in your life that would make a difference?
[5:34] SPEAKER_00: What about knocking?
[5:38] SPEAKER_00: What about the doorbell?
[5:40] SPEAKER_00: What about um visitors?
[5:44] SPEAKER_00: What about people walking into the room?
[5:48] SPEAKER_00: Another one that's important um in our house is um other dogs walking into the room, right?
[5:56] SPEAKER_00: So let's say I'm sat in the living room and um let's say, I don't know, uh Casino and Bet and Gorse and Ketone have decided to chill in the living room with me.
[6:17] SPEAKER_00: And um then what happens is lava and magma mooch into the living room, right?
[6:26] SPEAKER_00: Trot into the living room as well.
[6:28] SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, where's dad?
[6:29] SPEAKER_00: Let's, you know, go in there.
[6:31] SPEAKER_00: And the thing is that what could happen in that situation if they didn't have a a strong desire for boundaries, is they could, they could all of a sudden be, I can't remember how many dogs are used as an example, there all of a sudden could be four dogs running up to the other dogs that are walking into the room and greeting them, and this whole energy bubble happening.
[6:55] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and this is really common reason why multi-dog household struggles happen, whether it be relationships between dogs breaking down or being quite unpredictable or just generally just being a little bit too high energy, in that the movement of one dog creates movement in another dog, creates movement in another dog, and then you know the cycle continues.
[7:14] SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, I just want to take a moment to answer a question that has been coming in in literally 10 emails a day, and that is how can we help you with your dog's behavior struggle, whether that be reactivity, separation, anxiety, resource guarding, maybe you've got a multi-dog household struggle right now, maybe your dog's just so over aroused on a walk that they just can't listen to you and they're chasing everything inside.
[7:37] SPEAKER_00: Like, can I get Tom's help?
[7:39] SPEAKER_00: Um, and the answer is that actually you can, and you can do that by booking a behavet behaviour consultation.
[7:47] SPEAKER_00: That's where literally my team give you the plan on how to transform your struggle and get you to that dream that that made you get a dog in the first place, right?
[7:58] SPEAKER_00: Your world's got smaller and smaller and smaller, and actually it doesn't need to be that way.
[8:02] SPEAKER_00: You just need to reach out for help.
[8:04] SPEAKER_00: Now, a couple of things to say on that.
[8:05] SPEAKER_00: First of all, if you're insured, if your dog's insured with Pet Plan, Kennel Club, Agria, or many pets, we actually do direct claims with them, which means that that's covered by your insurance.
[8:16] SPEAKER_00: So you don't you don't pay out of your pocket, your insurance covers that.
[8:20] SPEAKER_00: And the second thing to say is that we have loads of options if you're insured with another provider, or if your dog's not insured at all, that's also totally fine.
[8:28] SPEAKER_00: We have loads of options that we've developed to make this so accessible for you.
[8:33] SPEAKER_00: And because we're aware that you've already invested a load of time and a load of money in getting your dog looking after your dog, caring for your dog.
[8:39] SPEAKER_00: But the last thing we want is for you to have done all that and still not be living the life that you deserve with your dog.
[8:44] SPEAKER_00: And we know we can get you there.
[8:46] SPEAKER_00: So all you need to do is go to the Behave Vet website, and the way to do that is go B-E-H-A.V-E-T.
[8:55] SPEAKER_00: That's behot vet and it will take you there.
[8:59] SPEAKER_00: Or just Google Behave Vet, right?
[9:02] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you can get scheduled in and we can literally get you booked in for a consultation as soon as possible.
[9:08] SPEAKER_00: We normally can accommodate it within a week, right?
[9:11] SPEAKER_00: So that you can be getting to your dream ASAP.
[9:14] SPEAKER_00: And so boundaries, I would say, are actually essential for a harmonious multi-dog household.
[9:20] SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know we, you know, we did um the the there was um some live teaching in the hub recently.
[9:27] SPEAKER_00: Dr.
[9:28] SPEAKER_00: Anita um from the behave that team did a live in the um hub Facebook community and um talked about multi-dog um multi-dog boundaries and um and also um multi-dog boundaries showed multi some multi-dog boundaries happening with her dogs that were um you know two different two different breeds.
[9:48] SPEAKER_00: So it's two bulldogs, two English bulldogs, and then a dash and uh cross, dash and mix.
[9:56] SPEAKER_00: Okay.
[9:57] SPEAKER_00: Now that kind of leads nicely on to another multi-dog household thing that I just thought of with boundaries, is it actually allows different breeds to coexist happily.
[10:07] SPEAKER_00: Um, because I don't know if anybody has a multi-dog household with different breeds here, but they behave very differently in play, and they um they they have different preferences, yeah.
[10:20] SPEAKER_00: So for example, the poodles and the collies really should not be a mix, a match made in heaven, but it's it all works perfectly because of the boundaries.
[10:29] SPEAKER_00: Equally, you know, you've got we've got two tiny dogs.
[10:32] SPEAKER_00: So gorse weighs what four kilos um at most.
[10:36] SPEAKER_00: She's a tiny dog, right?
[10:38] SPEAKER_00: And you know, in a in a like a household with eight dogs, you'd think, oh my goodness, what if all the dogs are playing and uh gorse is in there?
[10:46] SPEAKER_00: That that doesn't, you know, that we don't have inappropriate play, not because we're stopping it all the time, but again because the preferences are different.
[10:54] SPEAKER_00: And so I guess what I wanted to share with you in this episode is that uh the power of boundaries is actually in your dog having preference for the boundary over all kinds of other things, and so you're solving problems that you don't even know that you are solving, right?
[11:09] SPEAKER_00: Now, um, of course, we've made this step-by-step, um, this step-by-step programme of how to teach your dog to get on the bed, stay on the bed, calmly, and to a release, no matter what is going on.
[11:21] SPEAKER_00: Um and um uh I don't know if I can actually invite you or not.
[11:27] SPEAKER_00: Can I invite you?
[11:28] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I can.
[11:29] SPEAKER_00: I can.
[11:29] SPEAKER_00: There is a there is a link just for you guys on the podcast.
[11:33] SPEAKER_00: Um it's in the hub and you just follow the step by step, and in following the step by step, what what then happens is you you you know it's loads of fun.
[11:42] SPEAKER_00: Your dog loves it, they'll pick it up really quickly, and you can start to have that in your life, whether you've got a multi-dog household or a single dog household, right?
[11:50] SPEAKER_00: And and the way that you can access those videos, guys, is if you go to www.helpmydog.com forward slash hub.
[12:00] SPEAKER_00: That's H-U-B.
[12:01] SPEAKER_00: So www.helpmydog.com forward slash hub.
[12:07] SPEAKER_00: Okay, and and there'll be um details on how to get into the hub on that page.
[12:12] SPEAKER_00: But the point is, guys, I guess is what I'm saying is that when we're talking about your dog just making an amazing choice in lots of different situations, get excited about that and see that as way more powerful than just fixing your current problems because you're fixing problems you don't even know that your dog's gonna develop.
[12:29] SPEAKER_00: And so if you're listening to this as a hub member, um, and you're like, actually, I'm gonna be even more passionate about going through the steps of the the boundary um boundary program, and or you're a potential hub member that's like, oh, maybe I need to get in now.
[12:47] SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, maybe this is like the the the tipping point where I just need I need this information, right?
[12:55] SPEAKER_00: Um and I need to just see how Tom and other people do it step by step and get the results that that they get.
[13:03] SPEAKER_00: Um invest in it, right?
[13:05] SPEAKER_00: Invest invest your time in it to grow it and um and and unlock that ease in your life, that not having to say dog what to do all the time.
[13:14] SPEAKER_00: It's just like they're doing it.
[13:15] SPEAKER_00: You're you're going through life together rather than against each other.
[13:20] SPEAKER_00: Now, on the subject of being against each other, that is often the topic of the cringe stories.
[13:25] SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's dive in.
[13:32] SPEAKER_00: Now that the embarrassment is long over, I love to tell this story about my chocolate lab, Ruggles.
[13:39] SPEAKER_00: He's over the rainbow now and no need to change his name.
[13:42] SPEAKER_00: Oh, Ruggles.
[13:44] SPEAKER_00: On a family vacation in Maine one summer, Ruggles loved nothing more than stealing the socks of kids who peeled them off and left them stinky and unattended.
[13:56] SPEAKER_00: Oh, why did they have to be stinky?
[13:58] SPEAKER_00: Unattended alongside a playing field on the coast.
[14:01] SPEAKER_00: Reliably, once those kids noticed they'd been robbed, they chased Ruggles, running and screaming, while I counter-yelled in vain, don't chase him! One time a speedy teenager almost caught up to Ruggles.
[14:16] SPEAKER_00: What was what was the teenager gonna do?
[14:18] SPEAKER_00: Almost caught up to Ruggles, who was prancing around and teasing with the end of a thick tennis sock in his jaw.
[14:25] SPEAKER_00: But with every foot the teen got closer, an inch more of the sock disappeared down Ruggles' jaw until finally the teen lunged and the sock disappeared entirely.
[14:37] SPEAKER_00: No, Ruggles swallowed the sock.
[14:40] SPEAKER_00: I was mortified.
[14:42] SPEAKER_00: There's a sort of happy ending.
[14:44] SPEAKER_00: A local vet recommended what?
[14:48] SPEAKER_00: No, don't do this at home, guys.
[14:50] SPEAKER_00: A local vet recommended Vaseline sandwiches.
[14:55] SPEAKER_00: Don't do this at home.
[14:56] SPEAKER_00: And while and six days later, while we were all still on vacation, Ruggles upchucked the sock unblemished, and I was able to wash and return it to the teen.
[15:06] SPEAKER_00: I'm glad I'm glad Ruggles upchucked the sock, but um the Vaseline sandwich thing doesn't work.
[15:15] SPEAKER_00: You're probably going to do is probably going to throw the sock up anyway.
[15:19] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um and the the challenge is, I guess, when dogs swallow things is that they might get stuck.
[15:26] SPEAKER_00: And so it is always like a a vet situation to um to figure out the best next steps.
[15:32] SPEAKER_00: But I've I've actually never heard of a Vaseline sandwich, um, but it it would definitely be not what I would um what I would recommend.
[15:40] SPEAKER_00: And and it the fact that he up chucked six days later is um they they sometimes do that anyway, right?
[15:48] SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't get stuck.
[15:49] SPEAKER_00: So it probably was that, okay.
[15:52] SPEAKER_00: Um just to clarify, guys, you know, it's funny actually.
[15:56] SPEAKER_00: It reminds me of a story of, uh, and I think I've told this story of a dog that repeatedly kept eating things.
[16:03] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um, and I know this is not the the case for Ruggles, but repeatedly kept eating and swallowing things.
[16:10] SPEAKER_00: And um it was one of those where the problem kept getting fixed.
[16:14] SPEAKER_00: So the dog kept having surgeries to to remove the the swallowed things, kept having surgeries, kept having surgeries, but the root cause of the struggle was a struggle with disengagement, right?
[16:26] SPEAKER_00: And so I think it was five or six surgeries in the dog eventually got referred for a behavior consultation with behave.
[16:35] SPEAKER_00: And it was actually a fairly straightforward problem to fix at the root cause, but it isn't a straightforward problem to fix in the form of a surgery, right?
[16:46] SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes what I like to do is I like to take a step back and think when I'm when I'm fixing something or working on something, whether it be, you know, in life or dogs or or behavior or whatever else, think is the problem that I'm fixing the actual problem?
[17:02] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[17:02] SPEAKER_00: I always have this like catch in my head.
[17:06] SPEAKER_00: Like um, I I always ask myself the question, what's the problem really?
[17:10] SPEAKER_00: Right?
[17:11] SPEAKER_00: When when we when something comes up, it's like, what's the problem really?
[17:15] SPEAKER_00: Because that question kind of stops catastrophizing or stops escalating, but it also stops focusing on sometimes what is not the root cause, which is this is totally unrelated to the cringe story at this point.
[17:26] SPEAKER_00: I've just decided to go on a monologue about it, sorry.
[17:29] SPEAKER_00: Um, but the the point is is that some of you right now might be listening to this podcast and you're gonna switch it off in a minute, and you might go away and you might think about your dog's problem and you might ask yourself the question, what's the problem really?
[17:44] SPEAKER_00: And you might go, hold on a second.
[17:46] SPEAKER_00: I'm bexing or putting all my energy into fixing a symptom of a problem, but actually, if I take a step back, it's driven by this thing, this this lack of a skill, lack of optimism, lack of disengagement, lack of a dimmer switch.
[18:00] SPEAKER_00: And if I worked on that, I'd also be working on that symptom, but also loads of others.
[18:04] SPEAKER_00: So, guys, if you got value, share it with a friend.
[18:08] SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear if that question serves you well moving forward.
[18:12] SPEAKER_00: What's the problem really?
[18:14] SPEAKER_00: Email in, let us know in the Help My Dog Hub community if you're in the Help My Dog Hub, and we will see you next week.

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