# Ep 92 Every Dog Is a Different Journey: Raising a Puppy or New Dog After the Dog of a Lifetime

An episode of [Help! My Dog: The Podcast. Dog Behaviour & Training Strategies that Work!](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1721245241), 3 Sep 2025, 16 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2287608/episodes/17476186-ep-92-every-dog-is-a-different-journey-raising-a-puppy-or-new-dog-after-the-dog-of-a-lifetime.mp3

Bringing a new puppy or new dog into your life after years with another dog can be both exciting and overwhelming. In this episode, we explore what it really means to start fresh when your last dog had struggles or was the “dog of a lifetime.” You’ll hear practical insights on shifting your mindset, building new routines and enjoying the unique journey of raising a puppy or dog without falling into comparison traps. We’ll also talk about how past experiences can guide you, without holding you back, and how to see challenges as opportunities. Whether your last dog had big struggles or was the easiest companion in the world, this episode gives you a roadmap to grow a strong, lasting bond with your new pup. ................ Whether your dog is unpredictable with other dogs or predictably bad… Whether it looks like freezing, barking, lunging or running away… Whether you are just starting out on your dog-owning journey or your dog has been labelled as having a “behaviour problem”… … this episode is for you and is going to give you huge insights! Want to join the Help! My Dog Online HUB? Here's the link: www.helpmydog.com/hub Dr Tom Mitchell is a world-renowned veterinarian, behaviourist and dog trainer and director of the Behavet behaviour clinic (rated Excellent on Trustpilot), which sees over 400 pet behaviour consultations each and every month no matter where you are in the world. In 2023, he founded Help! My Dog, an online dog behaviour learning platform to help even more owners all over the world and show that dog behaviour transformation is not only possible but it's FUN, with the right know-how! Make sure to subscribe/follow the podcast for the free weekly episodes! Useful Links: Follow Help! My Dog on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helpmydogofficial/ Schedule a Consultation with Behavet: https://www.beha.vet/ Follow Behavet on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/behavet

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_00: Comparison, especially when it's been like dog of a lifetime to a new dog, and your brain inadvertently robs you of the joy of getting to know that dog and growing that dog.
[0:10] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um and yet, you know, now uh Casino and I have the the best relationship.
[0:17] SPEAKER_00: Before we dive in, a warning.
[0:20] SPEAKER_00: The content of this podcast may not be appropriate for some young listeners.
[0:25] SPEAKER_00: This is real life, and that means that sometimes it can be a little bit graphic.
[0:30] SPEAKER_00: So listen on at your own peril.
[0:32] SPEAKER_00: As a veterinarian, dog behaviourist, best-selling author and trainer over the past decade, I've had an obsession with transforming the behaviour of dogs.
[0:42] SPEAKER_00: Understanding their brains and creating practical strategies that you can implement easily at home.
[0:47] SPEAKER_00: I know all too well when the dream you imagined when you first got your dog is far from your daily reality.
[0:54] SPEAKER_00: In fact, out of the blue, a few months ago, my little dog Gorse was bitten by a dog 20 times her size.
[1:00] SPEAKER_00: And suddenly our life of stress-free walks, a calm and cuddly household, and being teammates was replaced with reactivity, anxiety, and worrying about what's around the next corner.
[1:12] SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
[1:12] SPEAKER_00: Tom.
[1:13] SPEAKER_00: This is the Help My Dog Podcast, and this is me documenting that journey of transformation, sharing my knowledge and experience with you and having a few laughs along the way.
[1:24] SPEAKER_00: Alright, welcome to this episode of the Help My Dog Podcast.
[1:28] SPEAKER_00: And in this episode, we're going to be diving into that almost really difficult journey of going from a maybe a previous dog did stru did have struggles, maybe they were reactive, maybe you know they were they were a challenging dog at times, um, to now a new dog, okay?
[1:50] SPEAKER_00: Um and you know, maybe that is a puppy.
[1:53] SPEAKER_00: And and this listener sent um sent this question in.
[1:56] SPEAKER_00: I think it's such a valuable one because many of you will encounter this at some point.
[2:00] SPEAKER_00: Um, we had an overactive border collie.
[2:03] SPEAKER_00: We feel she was like that because of her physical problems that prevented her from being an active dog she needed to be.
[2:10] SPEAKER_00: Still, she was so kind and friendly.
[2:12] SPEAKER_00: We had her for over 10 years when the pain and discomfort became too much for her.
[2:16] SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's so sweet.
[2:17] SPEAKER_00: Um we'll get a new pup soon, and it's been 10 years since I last raised one, and I'd like to do it right.
[2:23] SPEAKER_00: There's puppy training, but classes are full, and there won't be classes over the summer holidays.
[2:27] SPEAKER_00: Do you have any tips for us?
[2:28] SPEAKER_00: So, you know, in this case, we're going from like a lovely, you know, dog of a lifetime by the sounds of it, to now another dog 10 years later that's a puppy.
[2:40] SPEAKER_00: Um, and equally, it that some of you might be having a journey where you're going from a dog that maybe was a little bit challenging, dog of a lifetime in their own right, but maybe had behavior struggles, and now we're going to a situation of almost like what we see as a clean slate.
[2:56] SPEAKER_00: Um and so let's dive into this because this is a journey that I've, I guess, done many times, have learned the hard way, and um, and I want to kind of share a bit of wisdom on this.
[3:07] SPEAKER_00: So, first things first, this idea of a dog being a clean slate is nonsense, okay?
[3:13] SPEAKER_00: Um, the reality is that dog is coming to you with strengths and with weaknesses, right?
[3:20] SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think sometimes when we when we uh almost when the dog world, dog training community, other dog owners kind of present this narrative of puppies being a clean slate, it leads to you sometimes kind of beating yourself up when things don't go right.
[3:36] SPEAKER_00: The reality is that your dog will come with a certain set of skills or lack of skills, and that creates their individual personality.
[3:45] SPEAKER_00: And it's actually down, and it's rare that there is a perfect fit between the personality they come with and the situation they find themselves in, right?
[3:54] SPEAKER_00: It's just very rarely happens.
[3:56] SPEAKER_00: And those of you that are listening and you're like, you've got a dog with behavior struggles right now, you're like, yes, it is very rare, right?
[4:03] SPEAKER_00: Um, and so instead, what I want you to do is I want you to approach this new relationship that you're developing as your information seeking, yeah, you're getting to know what their strengths and their weaknesses are so that you can understand where the mismatches are between their skills and the situation they find themselves in.
[4:24] SPEAKER_00: And then we're gonna be building those skills through, you know, for example, if you're a help my dog hub member, then you will know how to build those skills and you've got all the resources you need to make that match a perfect fit and move from survive to thrive.
[4:38] SPEAKER_00: But the reality is that you'll nearly always start in a place of survive and you'll move to a place of thrive, okay?
[4:44] SPEAKER_00: So that's my first tip.
[4:45] SPEAKER_00: They're not a blank canvas, it's information gathering and it's growing their skills.
[4:50] SPEAKER_00: Um, second uh bit of advice that I've got for you here is, and I know it's easier said than done, and I had this, I had this challenge um not that long ago.
[5:00] SPEAKER_00: Comparison is the thief of joy, right?
[5:03] SPEAKER_00: Um, casino is my young border collie.
[5:07] SPEAKER_00: Um, Bet is my older border collie.
[5:10] SPEAKER_00: When I got Casino, I was excited to get to know her, and I was um I was uh fully aware that she was a very different dog.
[5:20] SPEAKER_00: And yet your brain can't help but go, oh, they're very different.
[5:25] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh they're very different, and maybe they're not as good at certain things, or maybe they're better at certain things.
[5:32] SPEAKER_00: But your brain kind of does this annoying like comparison, especially when it's been like dog of a lifetime to a new dog, and you your brain inadvertently robs you of the joy of getting to know that dog and growing that dog.
[5:45] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um, and yet, you know, now uh Casino and I have the the best relationship.
[5:52] SPEAKER_00: Um she is a wonder dog, right?
[5:56] SPEAKER_00: She's got awesome skills, and um the relationship is you know just as good with her as it is with with Bette, who's still with us.
[6:04] SPEAKER_00: Um, and yet there were moments where it was like, oh, I'd like I don't feel like I'm like all in on this.
[6:10] SPEAKER_00: And you know, no one else will probably talk to you about this because on this podcast we we do talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly so that you don't beat yourselves up about it.
[6:18] SPEAKER_00: Um but it's true, you end up kind of you you've almost got to like look at it as like there isn't a better relationship or a worse relationship.
[6:29] SPEAKER_00: There are different qualities of relationship and they're all as good as one another.
[6:33] SPEAKER_00: And each relationship's gonna look slightly different, especially when you've got multiple dogs.
[6:38] SPEAKER_00: But that isn't one is better than the other, it's just different.
[6:41] SPEAKER_00: And so when you come at this from the point of view of information gathering and growing together, then you can enjoy the moment.
[6:49] SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, what you end up doing is you end up comparing your today to effectively what is another dog's like day, you know, 2000.
[7:00] SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
[7:00] SPEAKER_00: Um, because you've just had more, you had more time with that dog.
[7:04] SPEAKER_00: So that would be my um my second tip.
[7:08] SPEAKER_00: Third tip that I've got for you that is a is a real game changer if you're going from a dog that is um potentially a dog with behavior struggles to now a dog that that doesn't currently have behavior struggles, is hey guys, I just want to take a moment to answer a question that has been coming in in literally 10 emails a day, and that is, how can we help you with your dog's behavior struggle, whether that be reactivity, separation, anxiety, resource guarding, maybe you've got multi-dog household struggle right now, maybe your dog's just so over aroused on a walk that they just can't listen to you and they're chasing everything inside.
[7:44] SPEAKER_00: Like, can I get Tom's help?
[7:46] SPEAKER_00: Um, and the answer is that actually you can, and you can do that by booking a behavet behavior consultation.
[7:54] SPEAKER_00: That's where literally my team give you the plan on how to transform your struggle and get you to that dream that that made you get a dog in the first place, right?
[8:04] SPEAKER_00: Your world's got smaller and smaller and smaller, and actually it doesn't need to be that way.
[8:08] SPEAKER_00: You just need to reach out for help.
[8:11] SPEAKER_00: Now, a couple of things to say on that.
[8:12] SPEAKER_00: First of all, if you're insured, if your dog's insured with Pet Plan, Kennel Club, Agria, or many pets, we actually do direct claims with them, which means that that's covered by your insurance.
[8:22] SPEAKER_00: So you don't you don't pay out of your pocket, your insurance covers that.
[8:27] SPEAKER_00: Um and the second thing to say is that we have loads of options if you're insured with another provider, or if your dog's not insured at all, that's also totally fine.
[8:35] SPEAKER_00: We have loads of options that we've developed to make this so accessible for you.
[8:39] SPEAKER_00: Um, because we're aware that you've already invested a load of time and a load of money in getting your dog, looking after your dog, caring for your dog.
[8:46] SPEAKER_00: But the last thing we want is for you to have done all that and still not be living the life that you deserve with your dog.
[8:51] SPEAKER_00: And we know we can get you there.
[8:52] SPEAKER_00: So all you need to do is go to the Behave Vet website, and the way to do that is go B-E-H-A.V-E-T.
[9:02] SPEAKER_00: That's behot vet and it will take you there.
[9:06] SPEAKER_00: Or just Google Behave Vet, right?
[9:08] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you can get scheduled in and we can literally get you booked in for a consultation as soon as possible.
[9:15] SPEAKER_00: We normally can accommodate it within a week, right?
[9:18] SPEAKER_00: So that you can be getting to your dream ASAP.
[9:20] SPEAKER_00: Third tip that I've got for you that is a is a real game changer if you're going from a dog that is um potentially a dog with behavior struggles to now a dog that that doesn't currently have behaviour struggles is re train reactivity training, okay?
[9:38] SPEAKER_00: So effectively teaching the skills of optimism, disengagement, right?
[9:43] SPEAKER_00: Teaching the skill of um calmness as an example, all the skills that you know you're learning about in the the help my dog, um, help my dog hub or the help my dog world, whatever you know part of that world you are in.
[9:56] SPEAKER_00: Um if you approach that with a young, a dog that doesn't currently have those struggles, they act as prevention.
[10:05] SPEAKER_00: Okay.
[10:06] SPEAKER_00: So actually, if you're coming at this from a point of view of, okay, I don't want to find myself in that position again.
[10:12] SPEAKER_00: Well, what did you do in transforming your previous dog's reactivity?
[10:16] SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you didn't do it, but what do you know now that you would do that you would do if you had the knowledge back then?
[10:24] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you're just going to, you're, you're gonna do that, and that acts as prevention.
[10:28] SPEAKER_00: That is, that becomes your puppy training, right?
[10:31] SPEAKER_00: Now I know it, you know, in in this listener's case, actually, you know, there were you know, not a dog with behavior struggles, and you just want one just like that.
[10:38] SPEAKER_00: I can tell you it won't just be just like that, right?
[10:41] SPEAKER_00: It might be better, yeah?
[10:42] SPEAKER_00: It'll be better, it might, it'll be a different quality, yeah, when I say better.
[10:47] SPEAKER_00: Um, and it will be your journey, right?
[10:50] SPEAKER_00: So um that can be a real hack when we're thinking about uh how we can how we can kind of um how we can prevent this.
[10:58] SPEAKER_00: And then the final thing that I'm gonna leave you with in this episode is just be mindful of how we interpret problems, okay?
[11:07] SPEAKER_00: And this isn't specific to this listener, this is more just like me sharing, hopefully, how to have a long-lasting and amazing relationship with your dog.
[11:16] SPEAKER_00: Because my experience is through owning lots of dogs over the years, from having my fair share of dogs with struggles, from obviously coaching thousands of dog owners all over the world through these struggles, is that when you encounter a problem, it feels like a problem, but fast forward, fast forward into the future, and you will look back on that problem as an opportunity in the future.
[11:43] SPEAKER_00: You will look back on that problem as actually, ooh, that led me on this journey, or that led me on that journey, or or that led me to do this, this, and this with my dog.
[11:52] SPEAKER_00: And now my dog's really good at those things, but it was triggered by that problem that cropped up at that time.
[11:59] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, whether it is that, you know, you maybe you go out and your dog barks at another dog, or your dog, you know, I don't know, pulls on the lead and you're like, oh no, I've got this problem again.
[12:12] SPEAKER_00: Well, what if that was the moment that led you to invest, you know, great, great time and energy and just general just like learning into teaching your dog to disengage from distractions that actually now, you know, fast forward into the future, and that was the moment that you change your trajectory to now you've got a dog that can be off lead all the time because they're so good at disengagement.
[12:35] SPEAKER_00: Literally, a rabbit can run in front of their nose and they just ignore it because of what you saw, you know, yesterday or months ago as a problem, and it was an opportunity the whole time.
[12:46] SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we can't read too much into these problems when actually we look back on them um in the future and they were opportunities in disguise, right?
[12:55] SPEAKER_00: Now, I said that was gonna be the last tip, but there's one more because I just thought of one more that is a you know a real like lesson that we must learn as dog owners.
[13:04] SPEAKER_00: Be careful not to fortune tell, okay?
[13:08] SPEAKER_00: If you are going from a dog that was previously reactive, barking, lunging at other dogs, and now you've got this new dog that currently isn't doing that, right?
[13:20] SPEAKER_00: And maybe one day you go for a walk, and maybe that day their bucket is a bit full and they bark at another dog.
[13:26] SPEAKER_00: The human brain goes, Oh my goodness, I'm found myself in this situation again.
[13:32] SPEAKER_00: I've got a reactive dog again.
[13:34] SPEAKER_00: How does this always happen to me?
[13:38] SPEAKER_00: Now I've got this reactive dog and it's gonna lead me on this particular path, and this is not what I wanted, right?
[13:45] SPEAKER_00: Take a moment, take a step back from it.
[13:47] SPEAKER_00: What actually happened?
[13:49] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, your dog barked at another dog.
[13:51] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's all that happened.
[13:52] SPEAKER_00: Your dog barked at another dog.
[13:54] SPEAKER_00: That is not necessarily a predictor of what's gonna happen in the future.
[13:57] SPEAKER_00: That does not mean that your dog now has this label of reactivity and you are certain of what's gonna happen next, right?
[14:05] SPEAKER_00: Maybe your dog just barked at another dog.
[14:07] SPEAKER_00: Maybe we need to give them a few days downtime.
[14:09] SPEAKER_00: Maybe we need to reflect on the situation and think, well, what skill, if my dog had that skill in that situation, would have led to them making the choice not to bark?
[14:19] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[14:20] SPEAKER_00: Maybe that skill is then the skill that you go into the help my dog hub and you go, right, I need more disengagement in this dog's life.
[14:27] SPEAKER_00: Oh, there's tons of learning on disengagement.
[14:29] SPEAKER_00: Oh, in the process of playing the disengagement games with my dog as a result of my dog barking at that one dog on that one day, actually, now they're so great at disengagement that now a rabbit can run right past their nose and they ignore it, right?
[14:44] SPEAKER_00: Maybe this wasn't a problem, maybe it was an opportunity.
[14:47] SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I fortune tell, maybe I'll always be right, right?
[14:52] SPEAKER_00: If I decide something's gonna be a big problem, then that my dog's gonna be reactive forever.
[14:56] SPEAKER_00: What if actually I make that happen because I've just told myself that is the road that I am now gonna walk down?
[15:03] SPEAKER_00: So be careful not to problem solve because ultimately the failure of today is not necessarily a predictor of the future, and you get to decide the future.
[15:13] SPEAKER_00: Your dog's brain skills and abilities are completely fluid.
[15:17] SPEAKER_00: And the fact is you're in the know this time.
[15:19] SPEAKER_00: The fact is before you didn't know what you didn't know, and now you do know, and now you do better, right?
[15:25] SPEAKER_00: So let's not beat ourselves up, let's see problems as opportunities.
[15:28] SPEAKER_00: Let's not fortune tell the negative, right?
[15:31] SPEAKER_00: But not fortune tell the positive, because that makes no sense whatsoever.
[15:36] SPEAKER_00: And I hope you got value from this wherever you're at in your dog owning journey, and we will see you next week.

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