# Ep 108 Top 3 Tips for a Happy Christmas with Your Dog

An episode of [Help! My Dog: The Podcast. Dog Behaviour & Training Strategies that Work!](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1721245241), 24 Dec 2025, 15 min.

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2287608/episodes/18363065-ep-108-top-3-tips-for-a-happy-christmas-with-your-dog.mp3

Is your Christmas looking more like canine chaos, rather than festive fun? Well in this holiday-themed episode, we’re taking a look at how we can prioritise our dogs’ wellbeing and happiness, whilst also taking the chance to enjoy the celebrations. We’ll dive into what ‘fairness’ means when it comes to our dogs, and give you some handy tips and tricks to help make this holiday period a happy one for the whole family. Listening to this episode might just be the best gift you can give your dog this year…Tune in now to find out more! ................ Whether your dog is unpredictable with other dogs or predictably bad… Whether it looks like freezing, barking, lunging or running away… Whether you are just starting out on your dog-owning journey or your dog has been labelled as having a “behaviour problem”… … this episode is for you and is going to give you huge insights! Want to join the Help! My Dog Online HUB? Here's the link: www.helpmydog.com/hub Dr Tom Mitchell is a world-renowned veterinarian, behaviourist and dog trainer and director of the Behavet behaviour clinic (rated Excellent on Trustpilot), which sees over 400 pet behaviour consultations each and every month no matter where you are in the world. In 2023, he founded Help! My Dog, an online dog behaviour learning platform to help even more owners all over the world and show that dog behaviour transformation is not only possible but it's FUN, with the right know-how! Make sure to subscribe/follow the podcast for the free weekly episodes! Useful Links: Follow Help! My Dog on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helpmydogofficial/ Schedule a Consultation with Behavet: https://www.beha.vet/ Follow Behavet on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/behavet

## Transcript

[0:00] SPEAKER_00: Dogs and you know celebrations.
[0:03] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's the kindest thing for your dog in terms of what would they enjoy in this time?
[0:10] SPEAKER_00: And what would they not enjoy in this time?
[0:13] SPEAKER_00: Before we dive in, a warning.
[0:16] SPEAKER_00: The content of this podcast may not be appropriate for some young listeners.
[0:21] SPEAKER_00: This is real life, and that means that sometimes it can be a little bit graphic.
[0:26] SPEAKER_00: So listen on at your own peril.
[0:29] SPEAKER_00: As a veterinarian, dog behaviourist, best-selling author and trainer, over the past decade I've had an obsession with transforming the behaviour of dogs.
[0:38] SPEAKER_00: Understanding their brains and creating practical strategies that you can implement easily at home.
[0:44] SPEAKER_00: I know all too well when the dream you imagined when you first got your dog is far from your daily reality.
[0:50] SPEAKER_00: In fact, out of the blue, a few months ago, my little dog Gorse was bitten by a dog 20 times her size.
[0:57] SPEAKER_00: And suddenly our life of stress-free walks, a calm and cuddly household, and being teammates was replaced with reactivity, anxiety, and worrying about what's around the next corner.
[1:08] SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
[1:09] SPEAKER_00: Tom.
[1:09] SPEAKER_00: This is the Help My Dog Podcast, and this is me documenting that journey of transformation, sharing my knowledge and experience with you and having a few laughs along the way.
[1:20] SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to this episode of the Help My Dog Podcast.
[1:25] SPEAKER_00: And first of all, happy Christmas if you celebrate it, happy holidays.
[1:31] SPEAKER_00: And um, and I we figured it was like an important opportunity to talk about dogs and Christmas, okay?
[1:40] SPEAKER_00: Or for if you don't celebrate that, then dogs and you know celebrations of some of any form, right?
[1:48] SPEAKER_00: And and and kind of boiling it down into three tips.
[1:51] SPEAKER_00: Because I get for many of you this week it's not going to be the week where you're gonna be able to listen to like a 30-minute podcast.
[1:56] SPEAKER_00: So we'll try and keep it really, really efficient.
[1:59] SPEAKER_00: So tip number one for I I hate the I hate to sound so negative, surviving celebrations, surviving Christmas with your dog.
[2:11] SPEAKER_00: I think the first one is, and this is more of a lofty um philosophical discussion, is just remembering what fair means, okay?
[2:21] SPEAKER_00: Because I think often when we're when we're talking to people in the lead up to the holidays, after the holidays, sometimes what we do is we think that we have to be fair to our dogs, and that fair means that, for example, they should be involved in everything, or fair means they should have some form of celebration too, or fair means they should have a present, right?
[2:43] SPEAKER_00: Um, and um and the reality is that isn't really what fair means.
[2:48] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fair doesn't mean equal, right?
[2:51] SPEAKER_00: And instead, what might be a more appropriate frame to think about this is what's the kindest thing?
[2:56] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what's the kindest thing for your dog in terms of what would they enjoy in this time?
[3:03] SPEAKER_00: Um what would they not enjoy in this time?
[3:06] SPEAKER_00: Kind could mean also what is kind, what is most kind for their brain?
[3:11] SPEAKER_00: What is most kind for their their their medium and long-term behaviour and emotional health, right?
[3:19] SPEAKER_00: And often it's not involving them, yeah?
[3:23] SPEAKER_00: And as soon as we realise that, and as soon as we reframe that, we start to one, get rid of the guilt around making great choices for our dogs.
[3:32] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sometimes I see this all the time with owners where they know the choice that would be best for their dog, but they feel a lot of guilt when they make it, yeah.
[3:42] SPEAKER_00: And they still make it because they're like, I know that's the right choice.
[3:45] SPEAKER_00: I know the right choices for my dog not to be involved in this particular bit, I know the right choices for my dog to um to to, I don't know, not greet everybody that's coming round, right?
[3:56] SPEAKER_00: I know that's the right choice, but I feel guilty when they're not part of the action, yeah?
[4:01] SPEAKER_00: And and that's purely because we've not we've not applied the right meaning to us making those choices.
[4:07] SPEAKER_00: The meaning that we should be applying is wow, I'm making that choice because I'm an awesome dog owner, I'm an advocate for my dog, and I'm, you know, doing the kindest thing.
[4:17] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[4:18] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, that's what fair looks like, right?
[4:21] SPEAKER_00: That's fair on my dog, that's fair on my dog's brain, that's fair on their behavior, yeah, and fair does not mean equal, right?
[4:29] SPEAKER_00: Sometimes what we do is we put the meaning on events, on making decisions like that of oh, but then they're not involved in this and they're missing out, yeah?
[4:39] SPEAKER_00: Missing out?
[4:40] SPEAKER_00: I don't like clowns.
[4:42] SPEAKER_00: If someone doesn't invite me to a circus, I'm not missing out on the circus.
[4:45] SPEAKER_00: Right?
[4:46] SPEAKER_00: That is very fair, very kind, I'm very grateful.
[4:49] SPEAKER_00: Um and so, you know, and sometimes our dogs trick us a little bit in that what they want and what they need might be two different things.
[4:59] SPEAKER_00: And so they might want to be involved in everything, but those dogs that want to be involved in everything get super overstimulated, their stress bucket overflows, and they get a bit grumpy with, I don't know, a five-year-old who's visiting the house.
[5:12] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's purely because actually they're not making great decisions.
[5:17] SPEAKER_00: Actually, we're advocating for them.
[5:20] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was putting way too much responsibility on them, and that was not what they need.
[5:23] SPEAKER_00: And our job as owners is to do what they need, right?
[5:27] SPEAKER_00: Um, do what they need in the moment, in the present, do what they need for their the very best brain health they can have, do what they need to safeguard and grow their behavior in the medium and long term in a better direction.
[5:40] SPEAKER_00: That's our job.
[5:41] SPEAKER_00: And if we're making those decisions, we're doing our job and we should be celebrating that and feeling great about it, yeah?
[5:47] SPEAKER_00: Now I know that sometimes family members might be part of that guilt tripping, yeah?
[5:54] SPEAKER_00: And that's because they don't know better, right?
[5:56] SPEAKER_00: You know better, therefore you're doing better.
[5:58] SPEAKER_00: And and yeah, there's probably an opportunity to educate them so that they know better, but also it's Christmas, and um that education might not be well received.
[6:08] SPEAKER_00: And so just taking a step back and hearing me say this, you know, even just like if you're having a real down moment over Christmas where people are guilt tripping you, just disappear into the downstairs loo and switch this podcast on, right?
[6:22] SPEAKER_00: Um, and hear me when I say and truly feel it.
[6:26] SPEAKER_00: You're doing, you know better, you're doing better.
[6:28] SPEAKER_00: Some people don't know better, so they don't do better, and you can't be responsible for them or feel guilty about not doing the wrong thing, right?
[6:36] SPEAKER_00: It doesn't even make sense, yeah.
[6:38] SPEAKER_00: Human brains don't make sense.
[6:40] SPEAKER_00: Um, and so that's first tip that I've got for you.
[6:43] SPEAKER_00: Second tip that I've got for you is um, and this is actually a family member related one.
[6:50] SPEAKER_00: It's very, how can I put this?
[6:53] SPEAKER_00: Similar to dogs, really, communicating a don't uh a what don't I want isn't they're just gonna do the thing that you don't want them to do.
[7:02] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[7:02] SPEAKER_00: Don't go and see them, you know, don't go, don't let the dog out, don't feed the dog, don't, you know, I don't know, climb all over the dog, don't over excite the dog, yeah?
[7:14] SPEAKER_00: What the human brain does, the hu interestingly, humans love saying don't, don't, don't, don't do this, don't do that, don't.
[7:20] SPEAKER_00: But the human brain's really rubbish at um interpreting don't, yeah?
[7:25] SPEAKER_00: Um, because what the human brain hears is the next thing.
[7:28] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they hear the don't touch the dog, yeah, and the brain goes, Oh, I could touch the dog, right?
[7:34] SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a little bit like um I might say to you right now, don't look out the window.
[7:39] SPEAKER_00: Where do you where does your attention go?
[7:42] SPEAKER_00: Why?
[7:42] SPEAKER_00: Then we shall look out the window, yeah.
[7:44] SPEAKER_00: Um don't don't look under no circumstances look for the colour blue in the room.
[7:51] SPEAKER_00: I can see colour blue everywhere, right?
[7:54] SPEAKER_00: Um and so we've got to be aware that is just that the the the these are the humans that we're dealing with, yeah.
[8:00] SPEAKER_00: And also we're a human, right?
[8:01] SPEAKER_00: You gotta you gotta know your chickens.
[8:03] SPEAKER_00: And so um what do you do instead?
[8:06] SPEAKER_00: Well, what do you want them to do?
[8:09] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and make the what do you want incompatible with the what don't I want, yeah?
[8:16] SPEAKER_00: So example might be, oh, could I give you a job?
[8:19] SPEAKER_00: Could I could I ask you that while ever whenever he gets on his bed, could you chuck him a piece of food?
[8:25] SPEAKER_00: And could you chuck it from a distance?
[8:28] SPEAKER_00: And humans, they love a what they love a do one, they respond to do once, but you know what they also love?
[8:34] SPEAKER_00: A job.
[8:35] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[8:36] SPEAKER_00: If you give a family member a special job that happens to be also what you want them to do, guess what?
[8:43] SPEAKER_00: They do it.
[8:44] SPEAKER_00: Why?
[8:45] SPEAKER_00: Because it gives them importance, it gives them significance, it gives them an identity in that situation.
[8:52] SPEAKER_00: And really, when people do, you know, um maybe don't make great choices because they're looking for how they can be involved in that situation, or they're looking for what is my purpose in this situation?
[9:04] SPEAKER_00: Humans and purpose, honestly, it's a thing, isn't it?
[9:07] SPEAKER_00: Right?
[9:07] SPEAKER_00: What is my purpose in life?
[9:09] SPEAKER_00: Um, and and so you give them that purpose in that situation.
[9:13] SPEAKER_00: Does this make sense, guys?
[9:14] SPEAKER_00: And you know what type of human that is especially important for, and they're especially susceptible to it, is the the the tiny humans, yeah, the young humans, right?
[9:28] SPEAKER_00: Give them a very important job that happens to also be a very compliant job, yeah, that you like in that situation, and that is their job, and that is their responsibility, and they need to make sure that they are on it at all times doing this responsibility because it's only it's theirs and it's their special responsibility, okay?
[9:48] SPEAKER_00: You've got to, in order to survive in family environments or friend environments, you really have to get clear on the outcome that you are wanting to achieve.
[9:59] SPEAKER_00: The outcome that you are wanting to achieve is actually everybody do what you want them to do and behave how you want them to behave around your dog.
[10:06] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[10:06] SPEAKER_00: The outcome that you want to achieve is not educate everyone in 24 hours so that they become expert dog owners, dog trainers, and dog behaviorists.
[10:15] SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
[10:15] SPEAKER_00: Actually, no.
[10:16] SPEAKER_00: You just need the outcome of let's let's survive this, let's get through it, let's have no negative fallout, right?
[10:23] SPEAKER_00: So you've got to think about these strategies, okay?
[10:26] SPEAKER_00: And the nice thing is these strategies also make you a nice human being that doesn't have you know fallouts with with people and Christmas fallouts, they're a thing, aren't they?
[10:35] SPEAKER_00: Um so that would be tip number two.
[10:37] SPEAKER_00: Uh tip number three that I am going to go for is an and I get from many listeners this is assumed, and I love that it's assumed for you, but I want to say it anyway, just in case it's not assumed.
[10:52] SPEAKER_00: The greatest gift that you can give your dog at Christmas is downtime, decompression time away from the action.
[11:02] SPEAKER_00: Okay?
[11:04] SPEAKER_00: These celebrations, any celebration, incredibly bucket-filling.
[11:09] SPEAKER_00: Change of the routine, change of people in the environment, novel objects and things in the environment, different noises, yeah?
[11:21] SPEAKER_00: Think about think about humans' music taste over the year, yeah?
[11:26] SPEAKER_00: You have decent taste in music until it gets to about December, and then it's awful, right?
[11:31] SPEAKER_00: It's awful.
[11:32] SPEAKER_00: And it's because we've been conditioned that oh god, it's like a human psychology lesson.
[11:38] SPEAKER_00: It's been we've been conditioned to think that this music is good because what we have done is um associated with it, associated it with um love and connection with family members, right?
[11:52] SPEAKER_00: So it nobody wants to listen to it, but it it instills and and evokes feelings in us, right, of nostalgia and connection because of what it has been paired with in the past.
[12:05] SPEAKER_00: So even that in itself is a bit nuts for your dog.
[12:07] SPEAKER_00: And I I say that like tongue in cheek, but um it's an interesting point, isn't it?
[12:11] SPEAKER_00: That your your music taste completely changes at that time of year because of how powerful associative learning is.
[12:19] SPEAKER_00: Um anyway, dog behaviour geeks in the room will um will enjoy reflecting on that.
[12:24] SPEAKER_00: Um, so um, what does decompression time and downtime look like?
[12:30] SPEAKER_00: Well, this um episode has gone out on Christmas Eve, okay?
[12:33] SPEAKER_00: Happy Christmas Eve.
[12:34] SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you're listening to it on Christmas Eve, today is the day that you are going to get to the shops before they close, um, and you are going to get all of your tasty um long-lasting chews and um and and um like tasty wet foods, whatever you might, whatever you might use with your dog.
[12:57] SPEAKER_00: Um, and you are going to um prepare the survival kind of enrichment for the next few days.
[13:05] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's gonna look like filling Kongs, filling stuffed bones, if that's appropriate for your dog.
[13:13] SPEAKER_00: Um, it's going to look like having your long-lasting chews on hand.
[13:17] SPEAKER_00: It's gonna put look like putting your um congs and stuff into the freezer, having a specific drawer of the freezer ready for it, right?
[13:26] SPEAKER_00: Um, so that then you can facilitate your dog being away from the action, and the gift that you are giving them is being away from the action, but also long-lasting chews, passive calming activities, right?
[13:40] SPEAKER_00: Um, these are very powerful.
[13:42] SPEAKER_00: Um, and ultimately it's it's the best way to safeguard your dog in this period.
[13:48] SPEAKER_00: Um, and almost think of it as like um the gift you're giving them is the gift of being at a spa for a couple of days, right?
[13:54] SPEAKER_00: Um, but the spa happens to be the back bedroom of the house, and you're, you know, they're they're getting opportunity to go there and and um and just chill out.
[14:04] SPEAKER_00: If you do these three things, not only will you survive the holidays, but you'll also thrive in the holidays.
[14:11] SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, you maintain your dog's trajectory of improvement, and um ultimately you're making medium and long-term choices rather than short-term choices that compromise the medium and long term with your dog, right?
[14:26] SPEAKER_00: And ultimately it all comes back to reframing what fair is.
[14:33] SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fair does not mean equal, nor should it, right?
[14:37] SPEAKER_00: Equal is not kind in this instance, right?
[14:41] SPEAKER_00: Um and so re-listen to this episode um from the start.
[14:45] SPEAKER_00: If you need to just hear that again and revisit it if somebody's maybe guilt tripping you a little bit over the next couple of days.
[14:52] SPEAKER_00: And I want you all to have an amazing, amazing holiday period, whether you celebrate it or not, and we will see you next week.
[14:59] SPEAKER_00: Have an amazing Christmas, guys.

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