# I Loved My Baby. I Still Wasn't Okay | Tara Hall

An episode of [Why Do I Feel This Way?](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1713517568), 26 Oct 2026, 41 min.

Audio: https://anchor.fm/s/eb381ef4/podcast/play/128047998/https%3A%2F%2Fd3ctxlq1ktw2nl.cloudfront.net%2Fstaging%2F2026-9-25%2F434942873-44100-2-a061996529258.mp3

This episode contains lived-experience discussion of traumatic birth, postnatal depression and anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, addiction and recovery, and restrictive eating, and includes strong language. Kate's friend Tara Hall joins Kate DeAraugo and Claudia Coy for an honest conversation about the gap between the motherhood she saw on TikTok and the one she actually lived. Tara takes us through a traumatic birth: induced at 41 weeks, a forceps delivery that became an emergency caesarean, and waking up alone with her newborn after a general anaesthetic. Three weeks later she moved away from everyone she knew. On the outside she was going to the gym and catching up with friends; inside she was dissociating, controlling every routine, waking her daughter 20 times a night to check she was breathing, and faking it. It took two years, and a full-blown panic attack, before a doctor finally heard her and diagnosed postpartum anxiety and depression. She talks about recovery, childhood patterns and learning to let her daughter struggle, while Kate shares the intrusive thoughts she had after her first baby and the postnatal depression she didn't recognise after her second. There's honesty about the parts of parenting that are just plain boring, and Tara's advice for any new mum who doesn't feel okay: reach out, advocate for yourself, and know your best years are yet to come. This conversation reflects lived experience, not medical advice. Huge thanks to Tara Hall for joining us. Follow Tara: @tarahall Season 5 is presented by Aurora Healthcare. aurorahealth.com.au If this brings anything up for you: PANDA National Perinatal Mental Health Helpline: 1300 726 306 Lifeline: 13 11 14

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