# Stressed Out? How to Manage Stress and Reset Your Nervous System

An episode of [A Really Good Cry](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1708895338), 18 Feb 2025, 26 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/df24579c-d34d-442a-8481-b06501282e4d/ba43df56-d69a-4b68-b0c6-b28800571190/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=10ca5a50-409d-41dc-a52d-b06501421bfc

How do you recognize and overcome stress manifestations? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I dive into the deep-rooted effects of stress—how it sneaks into our thoughts, our bodies, and even our sleep. I share my Ultimate Stress Reset Formula, a simple three-step process to help you pause, recalibrate, and release. We’ll explore how stress manifests physically and emotionally, why our minds get stuck in overdrive, and the small but powerful shifts that can help you find relief. I’ll also walk you through my favorite breathwork techniques, the mindset shifts that bring instant clarity, and the importance of surrendering what we can’t control. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or just out of balance, this episode will help you reconnect with yourself and create space for calm and clarity. Let’s take a deep breath and work through it together. What We Discuss: • 0:00 Introduction • 0:50 The Impact of Stress • 2:54 Recognizing Stress Manifestations • 5:00 5 Questions to Assess Your Stress Levels • 7:08 The Ultimate Stress Reset Formula • 8:04 Breaking Down the Three Steps to Inner Peace • 8:17 Step 1: Stop • 8:59 The Power of Breathwork • 13:47 Step 2: Recalibrate • 16:00 Practical Ways to Recalibrate • 21:30 Understanding the Difference Between Stress and Anxiety • 22:06 Step 3: Release • 22:46 Effective Ways to Release Tension • 25:05 Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts Follow Radhi: https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/ https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: You need to stop the rat race, get yourself off
[0:02] Speaker 1: that hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at
[0:04] Speaker 1: what is actually happening. Get the bigger picture, take a
[0:07] Speaker 1: step back for a second and see what's truly going on.
[0:11] Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we
[0:13] Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes
[0:17] Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the
[0:19] Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress
[0:22] Speaker 1: to you will feel. I'm Radivlukiah and on my podcast
[0:25] Speaker 1: A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful,
[0:29] Speaker 1: providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability
[0:34] Speaker 1: and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
[0:37] Speaker 1: find comfort together. Well, hello there, you absolutely wonderful human beings.
[0:41] Speaker 2: How are you.
[0:42] Speaker 1: I hope you've all had such a wonderful week. Thank
[0:44] Speaker 1: you so much for coming back to A Really Good Cry.
[0:47] Speaker 1: I appreciate it so much so. I actually went to
[0:50] Speaker 1: India at the beginning of the year. Jay and I
[0:52] Speaker 1: take this trip to a place called Govden Eco Village
[0:55] Speaker 1: every single year for our spiritual reset, but this year
[0:59] Speaker 1: felt a little bit differ. We both came away from
[1:01] Speaker 1: it feeling like we had gained so much, so much clarity,
[1:05] Speaker 1: so many realizations, and some serious decompression that was needed
[1:10] Speaker 1: after the year that we had had. But it also
[1:12] Speaker 1: made me realize how deep rooted stress can be. The
[1:16] Speaker 1: place we went to is beautiful. It has greenery everywhere,
[1:19] Speaker 1: it's in the middle of a forest. It's so quiet,
[1:22] Speaker 1: it's peaceful. There are these beautiful temples scattered around the grounds.
[1:27] Speaker 1: There are so many magical, sacred spaces. The sounds sound godly.
[1:31] Speaker 1: The whole place feels like a spiritual world, and it
[1:35] Speaker 1: was so it was the perfect environment to just feel
[1:37] Speaker 1: stress free. But the first few days my mind was
[1:41] Speaker 1: still so high strung. It was constantly asking me, what's next.
[1:46] Speaker 1: You've got things to do. Stop sitting around. What we're
[1:48] Speaker 1: going to be doing now? Why are you not doing anything?
[1:51] Speaker 1: Come on onto the next, onto the next. And you
[1:54] Speaker 1: know what, that thought process and this constant anxious and
[1:57] Speaker 1: stress inducing state is something any of us go through
[2:01] Speaker 1: throughout our whole year. And look, the fact is that
[2:04] Speaker 1: stress is just a part of life, whether it's work, deadlines,
[2:07] Speaker 1: family drama, or trying to balance different parts of our life,
[2:10] Speaker 1: some larger stresses, some small, some expected some unexpected. But
[2:15] Speaker 1: the thing is, without coping mechanisms and trying to tackle
[2:18] Speaker 1: the emotions and mental pressure of it all on a
[2:20] Speaker 1: regular basis, it can just build and build until it
[2:23] Speaker 1: all just feels like too much. For me, that looks
[2:26] Speaker 1: like locking myself in the dark room and crying. For others,
[2:30] Speaker 1: it could lead to feelings of depression or high level anxiety,
[2:34] Speaker 1: or just this feeling of this inability to actually function.
[2:37] Speaker 1: And you know the thing is, sometimes it becomes so
[2:40] Speaker 1: normal for us to live in that state we don't
[2:42] Speaker 1: even realize that we're living in a stress state. Stress
[2:46] Speaker 1: can manifest in the body in so many different ways. Physically,
[2:49] Speaker 1: it can show up as headaches or digestive issues, feeling
[2:52] Speaker 1: tired all the time, even if you're sleeping a lot,
[2:55] Speaker 1: feeling restless or you can't fall asleep. It can cause
[2:58] Speaker 1: appetite changes like binging or cravings, or you could lose
[3:01] Speaker 1: your appetite completely. It can lead to hair loss or
[3:04] Speaker 1: graying early. You can also tend to unhealthy habits like
[3:08] Speaker 1: drinking or drugs, and other signs are things like jaw clenching,
[3:11] Speaker 1: which sometimes you don't even realize you're doing until you
[3:13] Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and your jaw is hurting
[3:16] Speaker 1: so much.
[3:16] Speaker 2: I do that a lot.
[3:17] Speaker 1: I grind my teeth sometimes when I'm stressed in my sleep,
[3:20] Speaker 1: or I clench my jaw a lot when I'm working
[3:23] Speaker 1: or when I'm sleeping too. Another thing I found is
[3:25] Speaker 1: when I'm stressed out, the stress seeps into my dreams.
[3:29] Speaker 1: And I don't know whether anyone's had this before, but
[3:31] Speaker 1: my dreams get really intense, and so the stress that
[3:35] Speaker 1: I'm feeling, mixed with the worries that I'm having, all
[3:38] Speaker 1: culminate in my subconscious And not only am I stress
[3:42] Speaker 1: during the day, I stress sleep too. I've gone through
[3:44] Speaker 1: periods where I'm actually waking up crying because whatever I
[3:50] Speaker 1: was stressed about or anxious about has actually come into
[3:52] Speaker 1: my dream and become a reality in my dream. And
[3:55] Speaker 1: I've woken up with tears pouring out of my eyes.
[3:58] Speaker 1: And so even if we're trying to pretend like it
[4:00] Speaker 1: doesn't exist, somehow, our body, our mind, it's feeling it
[4:04] Speaker 1: every single moment that we are feeling it. I also
[4:08] Speaker 1: find things like nail biting or fidgeting, or trying to
[4:11] Speaker 1: overplan or become a perfectionist. I notice when I feel
[4:15] Speaker 1: like I'm out of control of things in my life,
[4:17] Speaker 1: or I'm stressed out about other parts of my life.
[4:19] Speaker 1: I become an organizer. I become a hyper planner. I
[4:22] Speaker 1: want to control everything because it makes sense, right when
[4:25] Speaker 1: we feel like we're out of control of something else,
[4:28] Speaker 1: we try to control other parts of my life that
[4:30] Speaker 1: feel controllable. So it's a very natural response. But these
[4:33] Speaker 1: are all signs that you might be just a little
[4:35] Speaker 1: bit too stressed. Now I know that these could also
[4:38] Speaker 1: be signs of other things. There's so many different signs
[4:41] Speaker 1: that I just mention and it could be due to
[4:43] Speaker 1: other things. But usually if you really stop to think
[4:45] Speaker 1: about it, your body and your mind will tell you
[4:48] Speaker 1: whether you are stressed or not, or that something's just
[4:50] Speaker 1: not right. But in case you're unsure whether you are
[4:54] Speaker 1: stressed or not and you.
[4:55] Speaker 2: Need the confirmation.
[4:57] Speaker 1: These are five questions that I usually ask myself to
[5:00] Speaker 1: really understand what I'm going through. The first one is
[5:04] Speaker 1: am I feeling physically tense or exhausted even after resting.
[5:08] Speaker 1: The second one to ask yourself is am I having
[5:11] Speaker 1: trouble sleeping or concentrating. The third one is am I
[5:14] Speaker 1: feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed by everyday tasks. It's like
[5:18] Speaker 1: your top gets caught on the doorknob and suddenly you
[5:20] Speaker 1: just burst out in tears.
[5:21] Speaker 2: Actually that happens to be when I'm on my period.
[5:23] Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, just random things that
[5:25] Speaker 1: you wouldn't normally be upset about, barring the time that
[5:28] Speaker 1: you're on your period, you are just getting over emotional, irritable,
[5:32] Speaker 1: and you're reacting in a way that you wouldn't normally
[5:34] Speaker 1: for Have I been neglecting self care like healthy eating
[5:37] Speaker 1: or taking time to relax at my self care? I
[5:39] Speaker 1: don't mean the luxury things like getting your nails done
[5:43] Speaker 1: or you know, going to get a hair trim. What
[5:45] Speaker 1: I mean are the basics to uphold your wellness in
[5:49] Speaker 1: your day to day life. Are you eating the right
[5:51] Speaker 1: foods for your mental state, for your physical body to
[5:54] Speaker 1: nourish it to do all the things that you were
[5:55] Speaker 1: doing to cope with the stress that you were going through.
[5:58] Speaker 1: Are you sleeping in the right way? Are you creating
[6:00] Speaker 1: the right environment around you? You know, the basic things
[6:03] Speaker 1: that you need to actually create optimal health and optimal living.
[6:06] Speaker 1: Are you neglecting those when you use to prioritize them.
[6:09] Speaker 1: And the last one is what are the most repeated
[6:12] Speaker 1: thoughts I am having in my day? Usually sometimes you
[6:15] Speaker 1: only need to ask that one question, what am I
[6:16] Speaker 1: thinking about regularly? What are the repeated thoughts that are
[6:19] Speaker 1: going through my mind? And when you notice that they
[6:22] Speaker 1: are more anxious thoughts or more negative thoughts, and it's
[6:24] Speaker 1: out of balance compared to the positive thoughts or the
[6:28] Speaker 1: grateful thoughts, or the thoughts that life is good and
[6:30] Speaker 1: great and I can do this and I'm happy and
[6:33] Speaker 1: I'm well. But your mind is telling you all the
[6:35] Speaker 1: bad things that are happening in your life more than that,
[6:38] Speaker 1: then that can be a sign that you're imbalanced. Because
[6:41] Speaker 1: the things that you think about is what you become.
[6:44] Speaker 1: And so the more you think about the things that
[6:46] Speaker 1: are stressing you out, the more you think about the
[6:48] Speaker 1: negative things, the more you see the negative things, and
[6:50] Speaker 1: then that is exactly what we end up becoming. And
[6:53] Speaker 1: so those are the five questions that I recommend you
[6:55] Speaker 1: ask yourself to really assess whether you are stressed if
[6:58] Speaker 1: you're in denial. If the answer is yes to a
[7:02] Speaker 1: lot of these, then it's probably an indication that you
[7:05] Speaker 1: are in need of my Ultimate Stress Reset Formula. And
[7:10] Speaker 1: this is something that I have created because I've gone
[7:13] Speaker 1: through a lot of stressful moments in my life. I
[7:15] Speaker 1: used to be a highly anxious person. I still can
[7:17] Speaker 1: ebb and flow through being that, and so I would
[7:20] Speaker 1: feel very stressed and very anxious, and it would kind
[7:22] Speaker 1: of take over and encapsulate me, even when it was small,
[7:27] Speaker 1: even when it was something I knew wasn't something to
[7:29] Speaker 1: be that anxious about. It would just take over my
[7:32] Speaker 1: entire body and mind. And so I created these three
[7:35] Speaker 1: steps after reflecting on how I got myself out of
[7:38] Speaker 1: those moments and how I've got to this stage where
[7:40] Speaker 1: I'm able to really manage those stressful times and those
[7:44] Speaker 1: anxious moments so much better.
[7:47] Speaker 2: And so I'm actually.
[7:48] Speaker 1: Speaking from experience rather than theory, and so I'm hoping
[7:52] Speaker 1: that these tips really do help you through your stress
[7:55] Speaker 1: and anxiety. So I've broken these coping mechanisms down into
[7:59] Speaker 1: three steps. First step is stop, the second step is recalibrate,
[8:03] Speaker 1: and the third step is release. So let me take
[8:06] Speaker 1: you through them one by one step one stop. First off,
[8:11] Speaker 1: we need to get you out of your head. You
[8:12] Speaker 1: need to stop the rat race, get yourself off that
[8:14] Speaker 1: hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at what
[8:17] Speaker 1: is actually happening, get the bigger picture, take a step
[8:20] Speaker 1: back for a second and see what's truly going on.
[8:23] Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we
[8:26] Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes
[8:29] Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the
[8:31] Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress
[8:35] Speaker 1: to you will feel. And that feels pretty simple and logical.
[8:39] Speaker 1: But when you're constantly on the go and you're choosing
[8:41] Speaker 1: not to think about it, that realization is really important.
[8:45] Speaker 2: So we have to hit the pause button.
[8:47] Speaker 1: And so my favorite, absolute favorite way to do this
[8:51] Speaker 1: is through breathwork. Now, do not underestimate how powerful breath
[8:54] Speaker 1: work is. And if you're someone that's never done breathwork before,
[8:57] Speaker 1: you're probably thinking, Okay, this is just another meditation woo
[9:02] Speaker 1: woo thing that is actually not going to help me.
[9:04] Speaker 1: But listen to me when I say there is so
[9:07] Speaker 1: much scientific evidence behind breathwork, more so than the pills
[9:10] Speaker 1: that you are popping. So if you are skeptical about breathwork,
[9:14] Speaker 1: the proof is in the pudding. All you have to
[9:16] Speaker 1: do is try.
[9:17] Speaker 2: And I'm going to take you through one right now.
[9:19] Speaker 2: I'm going to take you.
[9:19] Speaker 1: Through it because breathwork has changed everything from my asthma,
[9:25] Speaker 1: so a physical thing that I had going on, to
[9:28] Speaker 1: my anxiety, to my stress, to my sleep, to my workouts.
[9:32] Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's changed everything. As soon as you
[9:35] Speaker 1: master your breath, you master your mind and your emotions.
[9:37] Speaker 1: So do not underestimate breathwork. One simple deep breath can
[9:41] Speaker 1: change your whole mood. And I'm not saying that it's
[9:44] Speaker 1: going to take away what you're stressed about, but I
[9:46] Speaker 1: can guarantee it will give you the clarity and calm
[9:48] Speaker 1: that you need to be able to handle whatever it
[9:51] Speaker 1: is that you are going through without feeling overwhelmed. So
[9:54] Speaker 1: we're going to take in. We're going to do this together.
[9:56] Speaker 1: Come on, people, Okay, let's get in the zone. If
[9:58] Speaker 1: you can close your eyes listeners in the car, please
[10:01] Speaker 1: do not close your eyes. We're going to take one
[10:04] Speaker 1: deep breath in for one, two three four, hold a
[10:09] Speaker 1: little bit at the top, and then breathe out for one,
[10:14] Speaker 1: two three four. I'm going to take the breath so
[10:18] Speaker 1: you can hear it at the same time and continue
[10:20] Speaker 1: to do this with me for another five breaths. As
[10:36] Speaker 1: you're breathing in, you should feel your stomach coming outwards
[10:40] Speaker 1: and expanding, And as you're breathing out, you should feel
[10:43] Speaker 1: your stomach contracting and going inward. Honestly, just me taking
[10:47] Speaker 1: those two breaths with you, my whole mind feels calmer.
[10:50] Speaker 1: I feel like I'm speaking slower. I feel so much
[10:53] Speaker 1: more clear in my mind. And that's a simple box breath.
[10:56] Speaker 1: You breathe in for four, you hold it at the
[10:58] Speaker 1: top for like a couple of seconds, and then you
[11:00] Speaker 1: let go for four. And it is that simple. You
[11:03] Speaker 1: can do that for five minutes or even a couple
[11:05] Speaker 1: of minutes, or multiple times throughout the day, every time
[11:08] Speaker 1: you notice little signs or symptoms of stress picking up.
[11:12] Speaker 1: And if that one wasn't enough for you, if you're like,
[11:13] Speaker 1: you know what, give me something more. I've been doing
[11:15] Speaker 1: that breath work for a while now I'm an expert.
[11:17] Speaker 1: Give me another one. Another breath work I love doing
[11:21] Speaker 1: is breathing in and then almost make a sighing sound
[11:24] Speaker 1: on the way out. So let me do it for you.
[11:26] Speaker 2: It goes.
[11:30] Speaker 1: And you can make whatever sound comes out. It can
[11:32] Speaker 1: be a scream, it may be a cry. It may
[11:34] Speaker 1: be a squeal, it may be a laugh. You'll be
[11:37] Speaker 1: surprised what comes out when you do this breath work.
[11:39] Speaker 1: But usually anxiety is when our thoughts are trapped in
[11:42] Speaker 1: our mind. And I'm personally noticed that when you create
[11:45] Speaker 1: some sort of sound vibration in your body, that sound
[11:49] Speaker 1: vibration travels through you and it starts to stare things up.
[11:51] Speaker 1: It gets things out of your body, and it just
[11:54] Speaker 1: creates a different environment, and it helps to remove these
[11:57] Speaker 1: stagnant thoughts which are trapped inside of our mind, helps
[12:00] Speaker 1: to release them. So those two simple breathworks. There are
[12:03] Speaker 1: so many more I could teach you, but honestly, let's
[12:05] Speaker 1: keep it simple.
[12:06] Speaker 2: The box breath.
[12:07] Speaker 1: Every single time you feel your mind starting to travel,
[12:09] Speaker 1: starting to think about all the things that you can't control,
[12:13] Speaker 1: try breathing for four counts in, holding at the top,
[12:15] Speaker 1: and four counts out. And then if you want to
[12:18] Speaker 1: try something else, try the cye breath. If you're not
[12:20] Speaker 1: in public and you're in the comforts of your own home,
[12:23] Speaker 1: try and get those vibrations, the sound vibrations flowing through
[12:27] Speaker 1: your body. You can even actually do a humming sound
[12:30] Speaker 1: after it. So you take a deep breath in and
[12:34] Speaker 1: you do this when you come out, and that's actually
[12:41] Speaker 1: such a calming breathwork to do. Even within one you'll
[12:44] Speaker 1: notice a difference. Also, one thing, I'm a victim of this,
[12:48] Speaker 1: and I don't know whether you are, but I'll share
[12:49] Speaker 1: it anyway. You need to stop trying to fix the
[12:52] Speaker 1: issue right away. Oh my god, I'm such a fixer.
[12:55] Speaker 1: Whether it's something I'm anxious about or something someone else
[12:57] Speaker 1: is anxious about, I'm like, I have to fix it
[12:58] Speaker 1: straight away, find the solution. But the thing is, trying
[13:02] Speaker 1: to solve anything in a stress state is never going
[13:05] Speaker 1: to be as effective or efficient as solving it in
[13:08] Speaker 1: a calm state. Stress often feels worse because we pressure
[13:11] Speaker 1: ourselves into solving the problem instantly. But you might not
[13:14] Speaker 1: have the answer right now, and that's also okay, And
[13:16] Speaker 1: if you try to force the answer, you'll probably get
[13:19] Speaker 1: it wrong or do the wrong thing. Your mind is
[13:22] Speaker 1: basically like a snow globe. When you shake it, you
[13:24] Speaker 1: literally can't see anything in there, and that's pretty much
[13:26] Speaker 1: what your mind in emotions look like when you are stressed.
[13:29] Speaker 1: As soon as the snow settles, you are more likely
[13:32] Speaker 1: to see clearly and take better steps. Towards fixing it.
[13:35] Speaker 1: Sometimes clarity comes when you stop forcing it. The next
[13:39] Speaker 1: step is called recalibrate.
[13:41] Speaker 2: So I had this.
[13:42] Speaker 1: Problem once, and it has often helped me when I'm
[13:44] Speaker 1: anxious about things that I have absolutely no control over,
[13:47] Speaker 1: which is, unfortunately how our mind.
[13:49] Speaker 2: Tends to work.
[13:50] Speaker 1: We focus on the things that we can't do anything about,
[13:52] Speaker 1: rather than the things that we can do something about.
[13:55] Speaker 1: So it goes something like this. A farmer in a
[13:56] Speaker 1: village owned a single horse that helped him plow his fields.
[14:00] Speaker 1: One day, the horse ran away. The villagers came to
[14:02] Speaker 1: console him, saying, oh my goodness, what bad luck. The
[14:06] Speaker 1: farmer simply replied, good thing, bad thing, who knows. A
[14:10] Speaker 1: week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a group
[14:13] Speaker 1: of wild horses. The villagers said, oh my goodness, what
[14:16] Speaker 1: great fortune you have, and again the farmer replied, good thing,
[14:21] Speaker 1: bad thing, who knows. Soon after that, the farmer's son
[14:24] Speaker 1: tried to tame one of the wild horses, and he
[14:26] Speaker 1: broke his leg in the process. The villagers once again
[14:29] Speaker 1: gathered and said, what terrible misfortune you have, and the farmer,
[14:33] Speaker 1: once again, calm as before, said, good thing, bad thing,
[14:37] Speaker 1: who knows. Not long After that, the army came to
[14:39] Speaker 1: the village recruiting young men for the war. Because the
[14:42] Speaker 1: farmer's son was injured, he was sped. The villagers marveled
[14:46] Speaker 1: to the farmer, but he simply said, good thing, bad thing.
[14:50] Speaker 2: Who knows.
[14:52] Speaker 1: The lesson I got from this is that life is
[14:55] Speaker 1: constantly shifting, and what may seem like a disaster, the
[14:58] Speaker 1: most disastrous thing that you you have ever been through,
[15:01] Speaker 1: might lead to something better down the road, or be
[15:04] Speaker 1: saving us from something else coming our way. So when
[15:06] Speaker 1: you're stressed, recalibrate, step back and see what is it
[15:10] Speaker 1: that I can do about the situation, and what is
[15:13] Speaker 1: it that I cannot do, and then take action on
[15:16] Speaker 1: the things you can and find peace with the things
[15:19] Speaker 1: you cannot. Recalibrating means giving your mind a mental reset
[15:23] Speaker 1: that helps you to shift from fight or flight to
[15:26] Speaker 1: pause and plan, because you know what, especially if you've
[15:29] Speaker 1: been through a lot and been through a negative mind
[15:31] Speaker 1: space for a while. Even though positivity feels attractive and
[15:35] Speaker 1: you may know theoretically it's where you want to live,
[15:38] Speaker 1: it feels difficult and sometimes it feels unfamiliar if we
[15:41] Speaker 1: haven't been there in a long while, and so It
[15:43] Speaker 1: just takes these constant recalibrations to retrain and rewire our
[15:47] Speaker 1: mind's reactions to the stresses that we feel in life.
[15:50] Speaker 1: So let me make this a little bit more practical
[15:52] Speaker 1: for you, and let me share the ways that you
[15:53] Speaker 1: can actually recalibrate. The first one is zoom out. Imagine
[15:58] Speaker 1: your whole entire life as a time line and see
[16:00] Speaker 1: where you are right now. Will this issue that you
[16:03] Speaker 1: are stressed out about matter in a week, or a
[16:05] Speaker 1: month or a year. Write down what impact this stressor
[16:08] Speaker 1: could have in your life in the future, and if
[16:11] Speaker 1: it still feels big, create a roadmap to the steps
[16:14] Speaker 1: that you need to take to resolve it. I know
[16:16] Speaker 1: for me, whenever I'm stressed out or anxious with work
[16:19] Speaker 1: or life, I really have to map it out. And
[16:21] Speaker 1: once I do and I have created those steps, it
[16:24] Speaker 1: feels way less scary and way more manageable. You get
[16:27] Speaker 1: to truly see it for what it is, rather than
[16:29] Speaker 1: what your imagination has convinced you it is. When you
[16:32] Speaker 1: were a little girl or a little boy, do you
[16:34] Speaker 1: remember imagining what the ghosts or the little monster under
[16:39] Speaker 1: or the big monster under your bed look like? Oh,
[16:41] Speaker 1: my gosh, my imagination was wild, it would be the
[16:44] Speaker 1: most horrific monster that I'd ever seen. I couldn't even
[16:46] Speaker 1: pat my toe out of my bed without imagining it
[16:49] Speaker 1: was going to get engulfed by the teeth of this
[16:52] Speaker 1: crazy monster.
[16:53] Speaker 2: And then when I.
[16:53] Speaker 1: Looked under the bed, I was like, Oh, I don't
[16:56] Speaker 1: see a monster. I don't see teeth, I don't see
[16:58] Speaker 1: goggly eyes. And if you don't see something that wants
[17:01] Speaker 1: to eat my foot. All that to say, when you
[17:03] Speaker 1: really start to break it down, it really doesn't feel
[17:06] Speaker 1: as large as your mind has made it. And if
[17:09] Speaker 1: you did do this and you realize that it actually
[17:11] Speaker 1: isn't that deep and you don't need to do a
[17:13] Speaker 1: whole roadmap, then you can skip to the next stage,
[17:15] Speaker 1: which is release. But before that, I'm going to give
[17:17] Speaker 1: you a couple more options on how you can recalibrate,
[17:19] Speaker 1: or you can do all of these together as well.
[17:21] Speaker 1: By the way, the second one is gratitude. I know
[17:24] Speaker 1: ill sometimes hearing be grateful when you're stressed out is
[17:28] Speaker 1: the most annoying thing ever. And I do believe you
[17:32] Speaker 1: can be stressed and grateful at the same time. It
[17:34] Speaker 1: doesn't mean you have to sub out your stress for
[17:37] Speaker 1: the gratitude. Even though people will tell you that I
[17:41] Speaker 1: don't think it's true. Maybe it is, but I have
[17:43] Speaker 1: an experience that I find that there is a beauty
[17:45] Speaker 1: and duality, the idea that you can be sad and
[17:48] Speaker 1: happy at the same time, the idea that you can
[17:50] Speaker 1: be stressed and grateful at the same time for different
[17:53] Speaker 1: things happening in your life. So taking a couple of
[17:56] Speaker 1: minutes to just think or write down the things that
[17:58] Speaker 1: you are grateful for at least starts to boost your
[18:01] Speaker 1: happy hormones in your body, giving you a little more
[18:03] Speaker 1: balance and a little more hope. Even if the things
[18:06] Speaker 1: you're grateful for are totally unrelated to the stress, your
[18:08] Speaker 1: mind feels the feelings of being happy and then begins
[18:11] Speaker 1: to create more pathways towards that feeling. So I know
[18:16] Speaker 1: gratitude can feel ill sometimes when someone recommends it when
[18:20] Speaker 1: you're feeling angry, stressed, or anxious. But people go on
[18:25] Speaker 1: about it for a reason, and you can still be
[18:27] Speaker 1: stressed if you want to, but at least be grateful
[18:29] Speaker 1: for the other things in your life at the same time.
[18:32] Speaker 1: The next thing you have to do is take a
[18:33] Speaker 1: break from the problem. One way I find that is incredible.
[18:38] Speaker 1: To get my mind out of things is to serve,
[18:40] Speaker 1: to do service somewhere, whether it's me going to give
[18:43] Speaker 1: my grammar massage, always going to vunteer at a hospital
[18:46] Speaker 1: and reading a book to somebody. I recently volunteered for
[18:51] Speaker 1: victims of the LA fires that have happened. I went
[18:53] Speaker 1: to a donation center in LA And you know what,
[18:56] Speaker 1: serving and giving back to someone else in some way,
[19:00] Speaker 1: and if it's in a tiny way like I did,
[19:02] Speaker 1: it is such a beautiful antidote for your anxiety. It
[19:05] Speaker 1: takes you out of me miyan I and into a
[19:07] Speaker 1: space of service. Helping others is so soothing for the
[19:10] Speaker 1: mind and the song. And if you don't feel like
[19:13] Speaker 1: helping others, do something to take your attention to something else.
[19:17] Speaker 1: Make that stress work for you rather than against you.
[19:20] Speaker 1: Use that energy and redirect it. Whether that's a good
[19:23] Speaker 1: aggressive workout, whether that's reading a thrilling book, going out
[19:27] Speaker 1: with some friends, whatever it is, just do something else.
[19:29] Speaker 1: Don't sit there thinking about all the thoughts that are
[19:32] Speaker 1: running through your head. And physical activity is probably the
[19:35] Speaker 1: best option because it lowers our stress hormones and increases
[19:37] Speaker 1: our happy hormones. So the more you move, the better
[19:41] Speaker 1: you'll feel. They said, you reminds me of a really
[19:43] Speaker 1: funny trend that I did recently where someone says, I
[19:45] Speaker 1: don't know why, but I've been feeling really down lately,
[19:47] Speaker 1: and then their friend says, Okay, well, have you been
[19:49] Speaker 1: eating well? No?
[19:50] Speaker 2: Have you dne water? No? Have you gone outside?
[19:54] Speaker 1: No?
[19:55] Speaker 2: Have you worked out?
[19:56] Speaker 1: No?
[19:57] Speaker 2: Have you eate any fruits or vegetables?
[19:59] Speaker 1: No?
[19:59] Speaker 2: Have you you know?
[20:00] Speaker 1: And the list goes on because sometimes we don't try
[20:03] Speaker 1: and help ourselves. We sit in the sadness, and we
[20:06] Speaker 1: sit in the anxiety, and we sit in the fear,
[20:08] Speaker 1: and we sit in all the negative emotions and we
[20:10] Speaker 1: don't try to get ourselves out of Then we just
[20:12] Speaker 1: expect them to go away. But we have to work
[20:14] Speaker 1: at these things. It does not just go away. Have
[20:17] Speaker 1: you done all these things on the list to make
[20:19] Speaker 1: yourself feel better? If you haven't, then you're going to
[20:23] Speaker 1: have to try because those are the things that are
[20:25] Speaker 1: going to make you feel better. And one thing I
[20:27] Speaker 1: love doing is I have I mean, I have this
[20:29] Speaker 1: checklist in my mind now, but I recommend this to
[20:32] Speaker 1: people who are trying to get themselves out of their
[20:34] Speaker 1: funks a bit faster. One of the things is making
[20:36] Speaker 1: a list, like a checklist of five things. Do these
[20:40] Speaker 1: before I sit in my sadness, do these before I
[20:42] Speaker 1: sit in my anger, do these before I sit in
[20:44] Speaker 1: my anxiety. And list out your five things that you
[20:48] Speaker 1: are going to do. And once you've done all those fives,
[20:50] Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better, I will give you
[20:52] Speaker 1: the permission to sit in whatever emotion you're feeling. But
[20:56] Speaker 1: until you've done those five, don't let yourself.
[20:58] Speaker 2: Sit in it.
[20:59] Speaker 1: Know the things that going to make you feel better
[21:01] Speaker 1: and create a checklist for them, and once you've made
[21:03] Speaker 1: it through the list, then you're full permission to spend
[21:06] Speaker 1: a day sitting in that emotion. But usually if you've
[21:10] Speaker 1: done a workout, you've eating good food, you've drunk your water,
[21:13] Speaker 1: you've gone outside. Honestly, that could be your list. And
[21:16] Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better after doing that, DM me,
[21:19] Speaker 1: I'll help you. You know what, I actually realize I've
[21:22] Speaker 1: been using the words stress and anxiety interchangeably in this,
[21:25] Speaker 1: but really stress is your body's response to all the
[21:28] Speaker 1: external things that happen, and anxiety is more internal. I
[21:32] Speaker 1: guess it's the feelings and emotions and reactions that your
[21:35] Speaker 1: mind has to the issues or the pressures that are external.
[21:38] Speaker 1: So stress is a response to a situation, and anxiety,
[21:42] Speaker 1: I guess is more about how your mind interprets.
[21:45] Speaker 2: Or anticipates the situation.
[21:46] Speaker 1: So how your mind is receiving this stressful situation and
[21:49] Speaker 1: how it creates your bodily.
[21:52] Speaker 2: Response to it.
[21:53] Speaker 1: Anyway, I just want to clarify that because they are
[21:54] Speaker 1: similar but also slightly different. The last step is released,
[21:58] Speaker 1: so we had stop, rec calibrate, and release. Sometimes we
[22:02] Speaker 1: just have to come to terms with the fact that
[22:05] Speaker 1: we cannot control everything, and sometimes things can't be fixed,
[22:09] Speaker 1: and sometimes things are completely out of your capacity and
[22:12] Speaker 1: abilities to fix it.
[22:14] Speaker 2: This is the part where we let go.
[22:16] Speaker 1: And something that's really helped me here is the idea
[22:18] Speaker 1: of it not just being me going through this, not
[22:21] Speaker 1: just me going through the stress, not just me going
[22:24] Speaker 1: through the anxiety. When it's just an eye, everything can
[22:27] Speaker 1: feel so limited because we are limited. But when you
[22:30] Speaker 1: add in God or the universe, everything feels a little
[22:33] Speaker 1: more manageable and there's a sense of relief. So my
[22:36] Speaker 1: first way of release is prayer. Let every word, every sentence,
[22:41] Speaker 1: every fear, every anxiety, every stress, let it out in
[22:45] Speaker 1: a prayer. I give this to you. I give my anxiety,
[22:50] Speaker 1: I give my stress, I give all my fears. I'm
[22:53] Speaker 1: handing them over to you because right now I can't
[22:56] Speaker 1: control them. I surrender all of these things, my thoughts,
[23:00] Speaker 1: my anxieties, my stress, and my emotions. I'm surrendering them
[23:03] Speaker 1: to you. Most of the time, this helps give clarity
[23:06] Speaker 1: to me of the things that I can actually let
[23:07] Speaker 1: go of, all the things that I really should take
[23:10] Speaker 1: action on and change in my life to relieve the
[23:12] Speaker 1: stress that I'm feeling. Some things are on you and
[23:14] Speaker 1: some things are out of your control, and this helps
[23:17] Speaker 1: to figure out the difference. If you're someone that's not
[23:19] Speaker 1: used to prayer, maybe you don't believe in God, maybe
[23:22] Speaker 1: you're going through a crisis on whether you do or
[23:25] Speaker 1: don't believe in God.
[23:26] Speaker 2: Either way, prayer will help.
[23:28] Speaker 1: You. May not know what you're praying too, but just
[23:30] Speaker 1: see it as a release of something larger than you,
[23:33] Speaker 1: something bigger than you, something more magnificent than you, something
[23:36] Speaker 1: capable of doing magical, wonderful things in your life that
[23:39] Speaker 1: you are not capable of doing. Another thing that really
[23:41] Speaker 1: helps me when my mind is racing is putting on
[23:43] Speaker 1: some music and singing at the top of my voice
[23:47] Speaker 1: a song that you can scream to, shout to, or
[23:49] Speaker 1: belt from your belly. My favorite thing is getting in
[23:52] Speaker 1: the car, putting on a song and just singing my
[23:55] Speaker 1: heart out. You might cry, you might laugh, But when
[23:58] Speaker 1: you have all these emotions up inside of you, it
[24:01] Speaker 1: is only a matter of time till you burst. Emotions
[24:05] Speaker 1: am in to flow through you, not live in you.
[24:07] Speaker 1: You have to feel it and let it flow. You
[24:09] Speaker 1: can write out and burn it, or say to yourself
[24:11] Speaker 1: in a mirror, whatever your method is, just make sure
[24:14] Speaker 1: you get it out of your system. Releasing is not
[24:16] Speaker 1: about denial, it's about freedom. By letting go of what
[24:19] Speaker 1: you can't control, you will reclaim your energy and mental
[24:22] Speaker 1: space for solutions and what really matters out with the old,
[24:27] Speaker 1: so you can handle whatever new comes at you. The
[24:30] Speaker 1: thing is, when our stresses keep piling up and piling
[24:33] Speaker 1: up and piling up, when we don't deal with them,
[24:35] Speaker 1: there has to be a breaking point. There has to
[24:37] Speaker 1: be a bursting point, and so we have to with
[24:40] Speaker 1: whatever comes our way. You have to learn how to receive,
[24:43] Speaker 1: process and release. The more you keep in you, the
[24:46] Speaker 1: less you'll be able to handle what comes at you.
[24:48] Speaker 1: So we have to create this system in our mind
[24:51] Speaker 1: and in our body to recognize when something's being harbored
[24:54] Speaker 1: within us and how to let go of them. I
[24:57] Speaker 1: really hope that this was useful and I truly hope
[24:59] Speaker 1: that it helps you through your moments of stress. I
[25:02] Speaker 1: would love to hear your feedback if you did make
[25:04] Speaker 1: it all the way to the end of this episode,
[25:06] Speaker 1: let me know if this was useful, if you do
[25:08] Speaker 1: try these tips or tricks, and let me know what
[25:10] Speaker 1: else you want to have a little discussions about. I'd
[25:12] Speaker 1: love to hear your thoughts and recommendations of topics to cover.
[25:16] Speaker 1: Let me know what you're dealing with at the moment,
[25:18] Speaker 1: and I will do my best to help you in
[25:20] Speaker 1: whatever capacity I can. Sending your so much love and
[25:23] Speaker 1: I hope you have such a wonderful week ahead, and
[25:26] Speaker 1: don't forget you can cry if you want to.

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