# BONUS: Ball Hurts on a Thursday, Snipped on a Tuesday w/ Nimesh Patel

An episode of [Bombing with Eric Andre](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1700594299), 15 May 2024, 8:21.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/7443be8e-6758-4131-bd17-b04a00ee1705/73657ff1-8d14-4e8d-b36e-b09f004a790c/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=3dc328b2-90a9-4cb4-8c17-b04a00ee9da0

This is a bonus clip of my conversation with Nimesh Patel. Eric and Nimesh talk about their parents' reaction to their comedy and Nimesh's story of testicular cancer. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:03] Speaker 1: With a recodra.
[0:06] Speaker 2: What do your parents think of your stand up? They've
[0:09] Speaker 2: cut me off. They've got ties. At at the beginning,
[0:13] Speaker 2: it was like what are you doing? But now they've
[0:16] Speaker 2: evolved from like what are you talking about?
[0:18] Speaker 3: Oh? That was funny? And now but they both subscribe
[0:21] Speaker 3: to my YouTube channel really, so they'll my mom's like
[0:24] Speaker 3: every day she's like if she's seen the short that
[0:27] Speaker 3: I put out, she'll like, talk about it nice. And
[0:29] Speaker 3: my dad will say the same thing. I had to
[0:31] Speaker 3: stop doing live streams smoking weed because my dad watched
[0:34] Speaker 3: watch Shit. He was like, what are you doing? Is
[0:37] Speaker 3: your dad from the Motherland? Are your parents with the
[0:39] Speaker 3: Motherland or the American you're up here for generation? No? No, no,
[0:41] Speaker 3: they were born and raised in India.
[0:43] Speaker 1: They they're from the Motherland.
[0:44] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they came so most of your eighty ninety
[0:46] Speaker 2: percent of your my dad's from Haiti, so like ninety
[0:48] Speaker 2: percent of my jokes.
[0:49] Speaker 1: He would just be like, what the fuck are you
[0:50] Speaker 1: talking about?
[0:51] Speaker 3: They came around, you know, it took a while for
[0:53] Speaker 3: them to accept that I'm I do drugs and like,
[0:56] Speaker 3: you know, like I've had sex before.
[1:00] Speaker 1: You know it take a second, but did you grow
[1:01] Speaker 1: up in Queens Brooklyn, Jersey. You up in Jersey, sping
[1:04] Speaker 1: in New Jersey.
[1:06] Speaker 3: Yeah, the greatest town. So you're joking to No, No,
[1:10] Speaker 3: it's a good town. It's coming around like the people.
[1:13] Speaker 3: It was ranked the thirteenth greatest place to live by
[1:16] Speaker 3: New York Times in like a few years ago for
[1:19] Speaker 3: a good reason. Great school based, great Texas. You know,
[1:23] Speaker 3: everything's everyone's cool there.
[1:24] Speaker 2: So you play, you do drugs and hemp sacks and
[1:27] Speaker 2: tell jokes. Yes, and your parents are finally resigned. Yes,
[1:31] Speaker 2: I mean their fate they came.
[1:33] Speaker 3: I did town hall in uh December of this year,
[1:37] Speaker 3: the last last month, and that was like two fifteen
[1:40] Speaker 3: hundred seat shows, and it was that for them to
[1:43] Speaker 3: go like, oh shit, like this fucking this guy did it. Yeah,
[1:47] Speaker 3: you know, like he's working and he made it TwixT
[1:49] Speaker 3: where the three thousand people yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
[1:52] Speaker 3: And that was like the highlight of I.
[1:53] Speaker 2: Think that's when it starts clicking for the like, oh no,
[1:55] Speaker 2: he's not wasting time doing Do you write in the
[1:58] Speaker 2: moment on stage or do you sit down on and
[2:00] Speaker 2: write your jokes?
[2:01] Speaker 1: I'm sad in the morning and.
[2:04] Speaker 3: Last year, last hour, thank you, China Hour that put
[2:06] Speaker 3: out that one. I sat down and I was talking
[2:10] Speaker 3: to Muki about, like, how should I approach this hour
[2:13] Speaker 3: because I have a bunch of jokes and they're all
[2:17] Speaker 3: loosely connected. They're obviously all from me and all and
[2:19] Speaker 3: like my life experiences, but I don't really try to
[2:22] Speaker 3: figure out how to And he gave me his notes,
[2:24] Speaker 3: like try to write it as if it's a feature.
[2:28] Speaker 3: You know, you have your kind of cold open like
[2:30] Speaker 3: you're setting the tone.
[2:32] Speaker 1: Could know who you are.
[2:34] Speaker 3: Then you're inciting incident all your trials and tribulationship.
[2:38] Speaker 1: That's not a bad no, you know.
[2:39] Speaker 3: The only difference is in the feature of the character
[2:41] Speaker 3: learned something. Yeah, there's some kind of evolution, but comedy
[2:45] Speaker 3: is having something affect you and then not learning anything
[2:48] Speaker 3: right right, you know, And so like towards the end
[2:50] Speaker 3: of the hour, I didn't learn shit, And I approached
[2:53] Speaker 3: this one like this one kind of wrote itself, like
[2:56] Speaker 3: the reveal is I had cancer in like February, right,
[3:00] Speaker 3: you did testicular cancer?
[3:01] Speaker 1: You did?
[3:02] Speaker 2: I did, and you gotta you gotta snip snip that
[3:05] Speaker 2: chopped out, yes, and you're totally clear.
[3:07] Speaker 3: I had my blood work Paul yesterday two days ago. Man,
[3:11] Speaker 3: perfectly good, good for you, thank you. But ship that
[3:14] Speaker 3: when that had you catch it, it was just balls hurt.
[3:17] Speaker 2: They just hurt and there was a rock in it
[3:18] Speaker 2: and it was it was God, that's a fucking terrifying thing.
[3:22] Speaker 3: It was my birthday night. My wife and my sister
[3:24] Speaker 3: were out getting dinner drinks and I go home at
[3:27] Speaker 3: two o'clock in the morning and I'm drunk and I
[3:31] Speaker 3: noticed my ball's hurt. And I'm like, if I'm drunk
[3:34] Speaker 3: and my ball's hurt, something's wrong, because you're not supposed
[3:36] Speaker 3: to feel any right. Like I had a hernia like
[3:39] Speaker 3: six years ago, and I thought it was that again.
[3:41] Speaker 3: I was like, oh, fuck it, like you can kind
[3:43] Speaker 3: of push that off and wait, but this just felt different.
[3:46] Speaker 1: Oh.
[3:46] Speaker 3: And I was like, only go because hernia is like
[3:48] Speaker 3: a very sharp pain. This one was like a dull,
[3:51] Speaker 3: consistent one. And I had lingered over the week and
[3:53] Speaker 3: I was like, uh, I got insurance, I get this ship. Yeah,
[3:57] Speaker 3: And then they found a mask and then we had
[3:59] Speaker 3: blood working all that and it was like done. It
[4:01] Speaker 3: was like five days.
[4:02] Speaker 1: Oh. They shipped it out right away and they caught
[4:04] Speaker 1: it right away, thank god.
[4:05] Speaker 3: And it was like, gone, you know, they wanted to me,
[4:07] Speaker 3: wait two months the ny U hospital, but because that's
[4:10] Speaker 3: like standard protocol, Yeah yeah, wait two months observed. If
[4:13] Speaker 3: it grows, it's cancer, get it out. If not, then
[4:16] Speaker 3: don't do anything. My cousins are doctors, are like, now,
[4:19] Speaker 3: fuck that, We'll get get get see someone, immediately, get
[4:23] Speaker 3: the blood work done. They we rushed the blood work.
[4:25] Speaker 3: Blood work was like, oh no, your home remarkers elevator,
[4:28] Speaker 3: you got cancer.
[4:29] Speaker 1: You down to one ball or you get them both.
[4:30] Speaker 3: I got a fake one put in.
[4:32] Speaker 1: You get a nauticle. Yeah, yeah, you have fake dog balls. Yeah.
[4:41] Speaker 1: Company that hour wrote itself in those five days. Wow.
[4:44] Speaker 3: And I was like all right, now now it's just
[4:46] Speaker 3: a matter of punching all this stuff up and like
[4:48] Speaker 3: explaining what happened. I just remember being on stage at
[4:51] Speaker 3: the Cellar like literally like six days after surgery, just
[4:54] Speaker 3: like with like nothing but like what had happened, and
[4:57] Speaker 3: just explaining it and it being like this is gonna
[5:00] Speaker 3: be fucking incredible to talk about, even like the beginning
[5:04] Speaker 3: of it, when I had nothing on stage, like I
[5:06] Speaker 3: put some like bullet points down, but no jokes, just like,
[5:09] Speaker 3: let's see what's funny about it, and it went up
[5:11] Speaker 3: and Estie was watching and I was like, oh shit,
[5:13] Speaker 3: this better murder because I haven't been in a very
[5:16] Speaker 3: long time coming to see why And it went great
[5:20] Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, this is something that's gonna
[5:22] Speaker 3: be amos not easy, but very fun to approach, Like
[5:25] Speaker 3: what can I beat out of this? What can I
[5:27] Speaker 3: figure out? And it's been It's now I can see
[5:31] Speaker 3: the finish line because like the meat of it is
[5:34] Speaker 3: done and now I'm just putting on the edges and
[5:35] Speaker 3: polishing stuff up, and it's just like I can't wait
[5:38] Speaker 3: for it to be done.
[5:39] Speaker 1: Amazing. Yeah, shit, fucking my mom not gone.
[5:43] Speaker 3: My parents like why are you talking about that? Like
[5:45] Speaker 3: when I started talking about it, like yeah, fucking eight
[5:47] Speaker 3: months ago whatever, they were like you sure, yeah, yeah,
[5:51] Speaker 3: everyone needs to know.
[5:51] Speaker 1: I'm like people can relate.
[5:53] Speaker 3: I'm like, I got nothing else to talk about.
[5:56] Speaker 1: And it's relatable. It's it's vulnerable, you know, that's what
[5:58] Speaker 1: they want.
[5:59] Speaker 3: At no point, was that sad?
[6:00] Speaker 1: Yeah? Really?
[6:01] Speaker 3: Because it was it And this is I say this
[6:04] Speaker 3: joke in the hour, but it's the truth. It's literally
[6:07] Speaker 3: like my balls are on a Thursday night, Tuesday morning,
[6:10] Speaker 3: I had surgery. Yeah, no time to process. Yeah, every time,
[6:14] Speaker 3: every time I'm trying to process. Like Thursday, balls hurt.
[6:17] Speaker 3: Friday night, I got a call from my eurologists. He
[6:19] Speaker 3: sees he says, it looks like nothing. It doesn't look
[6:22] Speaker 3: like anything. It looks like an undefied non vascular mass,
[6:26] Speaker 3: which probably means a benign cyst. You're perfectly fine. Just
[6:29] Speaker 3: get blood work just to be sure. Sunday morning, the
[6:32] Speaker 3: blood work's been rushed. I get the costs and it's cancer.
[6:34] Speaker 1: Oh.
[6:35] Speaker 3: Shift, So like two of the three days I thought
[6:38] Speaker 3: I was fine.
[6:39] Speaker 1: Yeah, and then she just Monday, You're like fuck. And
[6:41] Speaker 1: then Tuesday get snipped.
[6:42] Speaker 3: Monday I'm busy getting pre COVID tests and all this
[6:46] Speaker 3: shit so I can have the surgery.
[6:48] Speaker 1: Right.
[6:48] Speaker 3: And that's the worst part, because I'm at Jersey City
[6:50] Speaker 3: Medical Center for like four hours and then they nurse
[6:53] Speaker 3: tells me you could have just done this near your apartment, right.
[6:55] Speaker 3: You come like what the fuck? Like that's what I
[6:57] Speaker 3: was mad about. I didn't have time to think about, Oh,
[7:00] Speaker 3: they're cutting out my balls. And then Tuesday morning surgery
[7:04] Speaker 3: and then it's like, all right, well this is where
[7:05] Speaker 3: I'm at.
[7:06] Speaker 1: Now wonder the guys that get it and they're just
[7:08] Speaker 1: have too much pride to get their balls chopped. They like,
[7:10] Speaker 1: I'm ready to die.
[7:11] Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's like I I think about it,
[7:15] Speaker 3: Like what if the other one had it and I
[7:18] Speaker 3: had to get both removed? Then I would contemplate a
[7:21] Speaker 3: lot of other things.
[7:23] Speaker 1: Dick removed. That's rough. Dick removed the balls. I'm like,
[7:26] Speaker 1: they're just kind of hanging there.
[7:27] Speaker 2: I mean, I like having my balls, but I'd rather
[7:30] Speaker 2: not have cancer against I don't know.
[7:31] Speaker 3: What hormone replacement therapy would be I would get.
[7:35] Speaker 1: I don't know.
[7:35] Speaker 2: I just get a little skin from like somewhere else
[7:38] Speaker 2: in my body and staple it to the stable at
[7:40] Speaker 2: the bottom of my deck.
[7:41] Speaker 3: Just fake balls, I mean two flake balls would be
[7:44] Speaker 3: pretty funny.
[7:44] Speaker 1: Two fake balls will work, would be pretty Two fake
[7:47] Speaker 1: balls and cancer. They put a.
[7:49] Speaker 3: Fake one in because like men need to like psychologically,
[7:53] Speaker 3: really yeah, if.
[7:54] Speaker 1: You just eed the one ball, you guys all fucking
[7:56] Speaker 1: tripped out.
[7:56] Speaker 3: That's the that's the again, another bit about it. But
[7:59] Speaker 3: in the hour. But it's like the doc told me that,
[8:02] Speaker 3: it's like you, I totally get that. They've done studies.
[8:05] Speaker 3: Men feel less like men.
[8:07] Speaker 1: Yeah, feel I get it.
[8:09] Speaker 3: With just one hanging, I get it.
[8:10] Speaker 2: We have a lot of pride and ego attached where
[8:13] Speaker 2: genitals
[8:17] Speaker 1: With a recondre

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