# Cocaine in the Attic w/ Nick Rutherford, Karl Hess, Cornell Reid (RE-RELEASE)

An episode of [Bombing with Eric Andre](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1700594299), 3 Sep 2025, 35 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/7443be8e-6758-4131-bd17-b04a00ee1705/95fb2f46-ac11-494e-bbdc-b34d003a4bfb/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=3dc328b2-90a9-4cb4-8c17-b04a00ee9da0

We're back this week with another one from the vault! Eric and his travel buds Nick Rutherford, Karl Hess, and Cornell Reid (also his friends in comedy) talk about their funny escapades together. Cornell talks about an awkward comedy spot he did in college, Nick talks about a crazy encounter with a married woman in Texas, and Karl witnessed too much cocaine in an empty attic. This is for sure the wildest episode of the season and you will not want to miss listening to it! Tell us your most cringeworthy bombs! Call 716-BOMBING (716-266-2464) and leave a voicemail. For all things Eric Andre and Bombing follow @ericfuckingandre (Instagram) and @ericandre (TikTok). Rate and review Bombing with Eric Andre here! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bombing with Eric Andre, the podcast where
[0:03] Speaker 1: I talk with comedians, musicians, friends, chefs.
[0:08] Speaker 2: And known murderers convicted murderers. Actually, we have a lot
[0:12] Speaker 2: of them on the show. This episode, we featured three
[0:15] Speaker 2: of my best drinking buddies, Nick Rutherford, Carl has and
[0:19] Speaker 2: Cornell read some of my favorite standup comics.
[0:21] Speaker 3: They're my vacation and adventure buddies. We've all gone to
[0:25] Speaker 3: the worst.
[0:25] Speaker 2: Open mics in the world together for the past twenty years,
[0:28] Speaker 2: and collectively we've had the most absurd, raunchiest nights.
[0:33] Speaker 3: Let's get into it oo Bombing.
[0:42] Speaker 4: With Eric Andre.
[0:43] Speaker 5: We'll start with our worst bombing stories and then we'll
[0:48] Speaker 5: take turn saying the N word. Okay, I heard you
[0:56] Speaker 5: had a fuck. Do you want to kick it off
[0:57] Speaker 5: or do you want to Nick? Sure, I can hear
[0:59] Speaker 5: you have story?
[1:00] Speaker 6: Boom?
[1:01] Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm of.
[1:03] Speaker 3: The century story. Yeah.
[1:05] Speaker 4: Should I start now?
[1:06] Speaker 3: We're recording?
[1:07] Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah, were recording all right. So this was
[1:11] Speaker 7: right when I started doing stand up comedy. I was
[1:13] Speaker 7: still in college and my ra, who was I was
[1:18] Speaker 7: kindly friendly with, she comes up, She's like, hey, knocks
[1:21] Speaker 7: on my dorm room, open the doors, Hey, I got
[1:24] Speaker 7: you a set some fifteen minutes.
[1:25] Speaker 4: Come follow me. And I was like, okay, so I
[1:28] Speaker 4: walk with her. I follow her. We go to like
[1:31] Speaker 4: the how people get booked from comedy shows all the time.
[1:35] Speaker 7: Most of them start doing comedy, and I was just like, wow,
[1:39] Speaker 7: I'm a new comic. This sounds like an opportunity to shine,
[1:42] Speaker 7: you know. And I started walking to the little like
[1:45] Speaker 7: center they have. And as we start walking to this
[1:48] Speaker 7: little event center, I see signs.
[1:52] Speaker 4: All over for Soul Night, Like, surely this can't.
[2:00] Speaker 3: Be like a neo soul like an Eric or what.
[2:10] Speaker 4: Uh No, it was just black in general especial. Yes, yes, yes,
[2:19] Speaker 4: Soul Night.
[2:20] Speaker 7: I walk inside, following my ra, who wasn't black either.
[2:25] Speaker 7: I don't know how she got this booking this.
[2:28] Speaker 3: She's like, I got a guy, I got it. I
[2:31] Speaker 3: got the perfect guy for you.
[2:33] Speaker 7: My brother, well, my name's Cornell too, so they probably
[2:37] Speaker 7: didn't even bad.
[2:37] Speaker 4: And I like that sounds great. I walk in and
[2:45] Speaker 4: it's full. It's packed. There's like three hundred people there
[2:49] Speaker 4: in the seats and.
[2:51] Speaker 7: On stage is spoken word poetry No Yeah, poetry slam
[3:02] Speaker 7: CSU Northward poetry Slam going Down and they're loving it.
[3:08] Speaker 4: After that gospel choir comes.
[3:10] Speaker 7: Off and you're like perfect, yeah, yeah, you know it's
[3:18] Speaker 7: so naive. Back then, I was just like, well, I'm
[3:21] Speaker 7: gonna get up there and kill all. This is gonna
[3:22] Speaker 7: be great. Comedy fits in line with this programming. So
[3:29] Speaker 7: gospel choir finishes, and then all these days like up
[3:33] Speaker 7: next for some comedy. Here's Cornell read and I walk
[3:37] Speaker 7: on stage immediately silent records. Yes, absolutely, I start telling
[3:46] Speaker 7: my first joke. Nothing, absolutely nothing.
[3:50] Speaker 4: Remember the joke.
[3:51] Speaker 7: I don't remember the joke, but I do remember. It was,
[3:54] Speaker 7: what's the deal with black people.
[4:01] Speaker 3: Too many?
[4:05] Speaker 4: Cornell?
[4:08] Speaker 7: Hey, I'm glad you guys are here because no one's
[4:10] Speaker 7: out robbing my car right now.
[4:14] Speaker 8: She just started doing Bernie Max sat from Jeff Comedy Jam.
[4:18] Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was very scared.
[4:20] Speaker 7: I was.
[4:21] Speaker 6: I am scared, very scared.
[4:26] Speaker 7: So I started doing jokes and then they just start
[4:30] Speaker 7: they're talking, they're not paying attention. They start heckling me
[4:34] Speaker 7: like before I would I would start setting up a joke,
[4:37] Speaker 7: they would go like ha, before I even got to
[4:41] Speaker 7: the punchline, and they're heckling like me like that. I was,
[4:44] Speaker 7: you know, and I was like two years into it.
[4:46] Speaker 5: It doesn't sound like a heckle Well, that sounds like
[4:48] Speaker 5: they were having fun.
[4:49] Speaker 4: What's your problem with black people?
[4:54] Speaker 6: That could kill?
[4:54] Speaker 5: Hell?
[4:55] Speaker 3: He was doing really well.
[4:56] Speaker 4: My favorite comedian.
[4:57] Speaker 6: It's really mad at for some reason.
[4:59] Speaker 7: Though they know, they're like trying to uh shut me up,
[5:03] Speaker 7: like like uh off mocking me. And you know, I'm
[5:10] Speaker 7: so early on into comedy. I'm doing like, what's the
[5:13] Speaker 7: deal with transformers? I mean, but that one robot transforms
[5:16] Speaker 7: into a tape player? What tap player? In the future
[5:20] Speaker 7: at least be a CD player?
[5:22] Speaker 4: You know that for sure? My a material for.
[5:32] Speaker 3: He's updated a little bit.
[5:34] Speaker 7: So I'm doing these jokes and I'm still going even
[5:38] Speaker 7: though no one's giving me anything.
[5:41] Speaker 4: I'm powering through.
[5:42] Speaker 7: These people are legitimately trying to interfere with my set.
[5:47] Speaker 7: And I bring up one joke and this guy goes
[5:50] Speaker 7: like the haha before I get anywhere, and I look
[5:53] Speaker 7: at him and he had one sleeve rolled up on
[5:58] Speaker 7: his T shirt and and for some reason it sparked
[6:02] Speaker 7: a memory in me. I got the feeling to riff,
[6:05] Speaker 7: to finally win this audience on my side. Yeah, yeah,
[6:10] Speaker 7: And he had one sleeve rolled up and It reminded
[6:14] Speaker 7: me of the movie Sunset Park. I don't know if
[6:18] Speaker 7: you've remember that movie, but it's like Ray Pearlman coaches
[6:22] Speaker 7: an inner city basketball team.
[6:24] Speaker 4: That movie. Yeah, it was not a hit, but it
[6:29] Speaker 4: was in the late nineties that movies around.
[6:31] Speaker 7: And one of the guys on the basketball team had
[6:34] Speaker 7: one of his sleeves cut off of his shirt underneath
[6:36] Speaker 7: his jersey. I remember that because I thought it looked cool,
[6:38] Speaker 7: and I did it when I played basketball in seventh
[6:40] Speaker 7: grade for a little while.
[6:42] Speaker 4: It's kind of early days of like the Kobe sleeve.
[6:44] Speaker 7: You know, yeah right right, Well, people were doing like
[6:47] Speaker 7: sleeveless shirts.
[6:48] Speaker 4: This is the first guy I saw it doing one.
[6:50] Speaker 6: I don't think I've ever seen that. It's kind of cool.
[6:52] Speaker 7: Nobody has no Yeah, so I that guy heckles me.
[6:56] Speaker 7: He has one shirt sleeve rolled up. So I pointed,
[6:59] Speaker 7: I'm gonna go, oh, Sunset Park over there like that joke.
[7:03] Speaker 4: And I didn't.
[7:04] Speaker 7: No one made the connection that one kidd in Stark
[7:12] Speaker 7: looks like an inner city basketball player.
[7:15] Speaker 4: That came off. And that was finally the whole crowd
[7:19] Speaker 4: just goes okay. Now they had something to sink their teeth.
[7:23] Speaker 7: Into right, and I distinctly remember having some hearing a
[7:28] Speaker 7: woman in the front row say verbatim.
[7:32] Speaker 4: That white motherfucker is going to get his ass.
[7:39] Speaker 7: And the lady comes up literally takes the microphone out
[7:43] Speaker 7: of my hands and walk off stage and just went
[7:48] Speaker 7: straight back to my dorm room and just like hid
[7:50] Speaker 7: in my bed.
[7:55] Speaker 4: And that that Ora is still your manager.
[7:59] Speaker 3: Really good.
[8:01] Speaker 4: She's gotten better at Cornell's gotten better.
[8:04] Speaker 6: They're growing. He did tour later with that gospel band,
[8:06] Speaker 6: but you know they ended.
[8:09] Speaker 9: I have I have a similar like they just stopped.
[8:13] Speaker 4: They just stopped me from doing comedy. That's the worst
[8:17] Speaker 4: when the stop there, you don't even finish your time.
[8:21] Speaker 4: What have I was in Uh?
[8:23] Speaker 9: I went up to I went up to Alaska with
[8:26] Speaker 9: Brooks for for Brits Wheelians like thirtieth birthday. We camped
[8:29] Speaker 9: to like Denali and our way back down to the airport,
[8:33] Speaker 9: we stayed one night in this little town called Talketna,
[8:36] Speaker 9: which is like this little mountain town is really cute.
[8:38] Speaker 9: It's like a real quirky little mountain town. Like there's
[8:42] Speaker 9: a bar that like the manager is a cat, you know,
[8:45] Speaker 9: it's like one.
[8:45] Speaker 4: Of these people.
[8:48] Speaker 3: Yeah, like thet.
[8:52] Speaker 2: Bar.
[8:53] Speaker 4: I guess the cat doesn't like cursing and something.
[8:56] Speaker 9: When we went to that bar, they were like, oh,
[8:58] Speaker 9: you know if you if you curse all, you're kicked
[9:00] Speaker 9: out immediately, and we're like, are you fucking serious?
[9:03] Speaker 4: And then they kick us out.
[9:03] Speaker 9: Like so it was a really quirky little town and
[9:07] Speaker 9: we go to this one bar and they had an
[9:09] Speaker 9: open mic and it was just you know, like poetry,
[9:14] Speaker 9: like singer songwriters. It's a super little local open mic
[9:17] Speaker 9: and Brooks.
[9:18] Speaker 3: Can do something stand up. Yeah, We're like from.
[9:21] Speaker 4: La, let's shake this town up. Yeah, like a small
[9:26] Speaker 4: town Alaskan town loves more than.
[9:32] Speaker 6: Slam boat a singer songwriter.
[9:35] Speaker 4: Yeah, the cat came out and did a trick.
[9:38] Speaker 9: He's like hard working, like blue collar, like lumberjacks are like,
[9:42] Speaker 9: what's this guy think about airlines? So we signed up
[9:45] Speaker 9: for the open mic and it was a pretty rowdy
[9:48] Speaker 9: crowd and I go up and I was doing this
[9:50] Speaker 9: bit at the time that was about ants eating my Like, giz.
[9:55] Speaker 6: You're still doing I haven't done it.
[10:00] Speaker 4: I was doing it for a while.
[10:05] Speaker 6: It's pretty funny.
[10:06] Speaker 9: Yeah, it's about Yeah, it was like back when I
[10:10] Speaker 9: lived with like like three guys like I like.
[10:14] Speaker 7: That, it's not important, but similar time in a lot
[10:19] Speaker 7: of ways, drinking a.
[10:20] Speaker 4: Lot of.
[10:22] Speaker 6: Happier.
[10:23] Speaker 4: Yeah, you're trying to keep your roommates happy.
[10:25] Speaker 9: And I just remember, apparently, but I just remember like
[10:32] Speaker 9: like just ants going after my little like jerk off
[10:35] Speaker 9: tels like in the in the track. Yeah, I know
[10:37] Speaker 9: it's gross, it's a gross bit, but it's about these ants,
[10:39] Speaker 9: like me meeting like a nick ant hybrid doesn't matter.
[10:43] Speaker 5: It's a gross bit, like the ants eat your come
[10:45] Speaker 5: and then they have a little baby.
[10:47] Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Like there's like a call me his father
[10:53] Speaker 4: like that.
[10:53] Speaker 9: Okay about this great act out Okay, and so I
[10:58] Speaker 9: jump into my aunt seating my to come stuff and
[11:03] Speaker 9: the crowd just turns like people are like like what
[11:09] Speaker 9: the hell? It was just people were disgusted.
[11:13] Speaker 4: And this is in the no cursing bar. No, No,
[11:16] Speaker 4: this was not. I had no rule, but they had
[11:21] Speaker 4: one rule.
[11:24] Speaker 9: And took the bartender like screams out like you're done,
[11:29] Speaker 9: and then cuts the power to the microphone. And then
[11:34] Speaker 9: the horse came up and like grabbed them and I
[11:37] Speaker 9: was like okay, cool. And then and then Brooks went
[11:40] Speaker 9: up and crushed really no, I don't remember what he did,
[11:43] Speaker 9: but we we hung out at the bar for like
[11:45] Speaker 9: the rest of the night.
[11:46] Speaker 6: That's that's brave.
[11:47] Speaker 4: Yeah, you just dragged through.
[11:48] Speaker 3: Why didn't you?
[11:50] Speaker 4: It was a fun.
[11:53] Speaker 3: We couldn't go back to the cat bar.
[11:54] Speaker 6: It was too there was only two bars in town.
[11:56] Speaker 4: I wanted to learn my lesson.
[12:00] Speaker 3: Because they had a bell.
[12:02] Speaker 4: They had a bell and if you rang the.
[12:03] Speaker 9: Bell, if somebody rang the bell, that person had to
[12:05] Speaker 9: buy everybody in the bar a drink. So like there'd
[12:08] Speaker 9: be like Brooks and I felt like we were like
[12:10] Speaker 9: locals at this point, so like there'd.
[12:12] Speaker 6: Be like, you know, disgusted by everyone.
[12:21] Speaker 4: Hey, I'm keeping a knit, not everyone.
[12:24] Speaker 9: Because the night ended up with like Brooks and I
[12:26] Speaker 9: sitting at the bar and this kind of buxome like mountain,
[12:31] Speaker 9: like a much older mountain woman had really taken a
[12:34] Speaker 9: shining to me.
[12:35] Speaker 4: She really liked me.
[12:37] Speaker 6: She's like, I like that coum talk. I don't care
[12:38] Speaker 6: what anybody.
[12:40] Speaker 4: I want to be one of those.
[12:45] Speaker 9: And so she was very aggressive and we were like
[12:48] Speaker 9: sitting at the bar and she was on the other
[12:50] Speaker 9: side of Brooks and we were like he was like
[12:52] Speaker 9: holding my hand behind Brooks and then I was just
[12:55] Speaker 9: trying to like kind of be nice and like.
[12:58] Speaker 4: You know, be like, I'm not really interested. I'm good.
[13:00] Speaker 4: And somebody you're sitting in a seat there and.
[13:06] Speaker 3: Holds a on your date.
[13:08] Speaker 9: Yeah, exactly, because I was trying to be away from her.
[13:11] Speaker 9: But she would like sneaker try, Yeah she would. Well,
[13:16] Speaker 9: she has a big, strong, Lumberg lumber Jane hand. She
[13:20] Speaker 9: got this callous lumber Jane hand. So she she does
[13:24] Speaker 9: what she wants it. And so I think she went
[13:28] Speaker 9: to the bathroom and I was like talking to somebody
[13:30] Speaker 9: else and I was like, I just I don't I
[13:32] Speaker 9: don't know what to do about this. And the guy
[13:34] Speaker 9: was like, seems like Dave's wife really likes she.
[13:39] Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, Dave's wife.
[13:41] Speaker 9: And never got her name is Dave's wife. And she
[13:43] Speaker 9: kept saying, I just really wish you would walk me home,
[13:47] Speaker 9: Like I'm only five minutes away.
[13:48] Speaker 4: If you walk me home, I'd really make it worth
[13:50] Speaker 4: your while.
[13:51] Speaker 9: God, I don't want to know, Dave. I know, No, no,
[13:57] Speaker 9: nothing happened. We just like you know, I went home.
[13:59] Speaker 9: We fucked for days. Uh no, nothing happened. We just
[14:04] Speaker 9: Dame comes out at the end of the story, I
[14:06] Speaker 9: never saw tell me the son of a bitch, you
[14:11] Speaker 9: got my wife.
[14:12] Speaker 7: Dave's listening to this podcast right now, jumping up and
[14:14] Speaker 7: down on his cowboy hat.
[14:19] Speaker 4: Dave's wife, you call that dud.
[14:24] Speaker 9: It felt like that's just kind of a thing she does.
[14:26] Speaker 9: And she, you know, she she seduces all the l
[14:28] Speaker 9: A comedians that come through that tell people nobody. Nobody
[14:32] Speaker 9: was like, beware, that's Dave's wife. They're like, oh yeah,
[14:34] Speaker 9: Dave's wife. Like she she lives right down the road,
[14:36] Speaker 9: walk her home. It felt like that was just how
[14:38] Speaker 9: it works. They wanted to have you kill it because
[14:41] Speaker 9: because it comes back the way. I love that you
[14:44] Speaker 9: told the income story. And then they were like, fuck
[14:47] Speaker 9: you get out here, I will say.
[14:49] Speaker 3: For four more hours.
[14:53] Speaker 4: To the bar.
[14:53] Speaker 9: And you were like, who's married here?
[15:00] Speaker 4: Do you know if she said, Brooks stand right here?
[15:05] Speaker 1: Brother?
[15:06] Speaker 6: Did you see your set?
[15:08] Speaker 9: Do you know if Day's wife was there for I
[15:10] Speaker 9: imagine she was there wasn't a lot like this guy.
[15:13] Speaker 4: Yeah. I think she liked the gall you know.
[15:15] Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like my story is nowhere near as
[15:17] Speaker 6: bad as these do.
[15:19] Speaker 4: But okay, here we go.
[15:20] Speaker 7: Oh wow, I've never I'm actually never I don't know
[15:24] Speaker 7: why I'm here.
[15:25] Speaker 6: I've never done that ever. It was it was early on.
[15:29] Speaker 8: I probablynew in comedy like two years, and I somehow
[15:33] Speaker 8: got a gig.
[15:34] Speaker 6: I forget the town name.
[15:35] Speaker 8: I really tried to look it up on Google Maps,
[15:38] Speaker 8: but I couldn't find it. Somewhere in central California, just
[15:41] Speaker 8: like a tiny town. And they were like, you can
[15:43] Speaker 8: do forty five minutes, right.
[15:44] Speaker 6: I was like, your goddamn right, it's.
[15:50] Speaker 4: For three weeks.
[15:51] Speaker 8: I probably had like fifteen minutes maybe.
[15:54] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[15:56] Speaker 8: It was like it was like one local comic and
[15:58] Speaker 8: then like just me, and it was like there wasn't
[16:01] Speaker 8: even like a host and the place is like packed
[16:04] Speaker 8: because it's one of those small towns where there's like
[16:06] Speaker 8: not a lot going on. It wasn't as charming as Telkena.
[16:09] Speaker 8: It was just like pretty bleak and like it was
[16:12] Speaker 8: like a place where like you you would see like
[16:15] Speaker 8: a guy.
[16:16] Speaker 6: It was like a place where there'd be like a
[16:17] Speaker 6: fight at the thing and you would take like break
[16:20] Speaker 6: a pool queue was it was like a roadhouse. It
[16:24] Speaker 6: was like a rough bars.
[16:25] Speaker 4: Like a bunch of Punisher logo.
[16:28] Speaker 8: I mean, there was definitely like biker dudes and it
[16:31] Speaker 8: was like a very met vibe and it was just
[16:34] Speaker 8: like I drove up specifically for this show. I booked
[16:38] Speaker 8: it through like another comic. They're like, oh yeah, there's
[16:40] Speaker 8: like this show. You can do a long and I
[16:42] Speaker 8: was just like I wanted to do a long. It
[16:45] Speaker 8: was north. It might have been Toulari. It wasn't that
[16:47] Speaker 8: are stocked. It wasn't even that big. It was tiny.
[16:50] Speaker 8: It might have been Toulaire, and I just right off
[16:54] Speaker 8: the bat, I'm just like eating ship.
[16:55] Speaker 6: It's like, yeah no, it's like nothing's working.
[16:58] Speaker 8: And like the guy before, I think it was a
[17:00] Speaker 8: local comic, like ate it so bad that I was terrified.
[17:03] Speaker 6: I was like, I was like, why are these people
[17:05] Speaker 6: even here? Like that?
[17:06] Speaker 3: Do you want to be here?
[17:08] Speaker 8: Like the entire town seem like it was there. And
[17:10] Speaker 8: like one of my early bits was like a five
[17:13] Speaker 8: minute chunk about Hitler and I was just like this
[17:21] Speaker 8: is like I just go into it and it is
[17:25] Speaker 8: just like not doing well.
[17:28] Speaker 6: It was like one of them.
[17:29] Speaker 8: There's multiple parts, but one part is about like the
[17:32] Speaker 8: Hitler family name was originally Chickel Gruber and Hitler changed
[17:36] Speaker 8: it. It might have actually been his dad who changed it.
[17:37] Speaker 8: And I was like the joke had something to do
[17:40] Speaker 8: with how like it would have been way funnier if
[17:42] Speaker 8: like he didn't change it, because like chickel Groover is
[17:44] Speaker 8: such a fun name.
[17:47] Speaker 3: Yeah, Hitler is like his stage name.
[17:49] Speaker 8: Well it was like chickle Groverer was like a family
[17:51] Speaker 8: name that they then changed to Hitler. But I was
[17:53] Speaker 8: like it would have been he would have been more
[17:55] Speaker 8: deadly because no one would have taken him seriously. You know,
[17:57] Speaker 8: you hear like, oh, Hitler's invaded poland you're like, oh
[17:59] Speaker 8: my god, we gotta do something. You hear like chicle
[18:01] Speaker 8: Gruber has just invaded Pulled, and you're like, that fucking
[18:04] Speaker 8: sounds hilarious. He's up to his old tricks clowning friends.
[18:11] Speaker 8: As you can see, very solid joke, And I had
[18:13] Speaker 8: like a bunch more shop I don't even remember, but
[18:15] Speaker 8: it was like a huge chunk and it was just
[18:17] Speaker 8: not doing This is the only time someone's actually done this,
[18:23] Speaker 8: because I feel like this only happens in movies when
[18:25] Speaker 8: someone's getting heckled. But like someone was literally like you suck,
[18:29] Speaker 8: Like that never happens. Usually players are like too drunk
[18:34] Speaker 8: and they're just talking loud. But like I got like
[18:36] Speaker 8: a full on you suck.
[18:38] Speaker 4: Like a perfectly and it was just like a dagger
[18:41] Speaker 4: to the heart.
[18:43] Speaker 8: And then I was like, I was like, you know,
[18:45] Speaker 8: I'm floundering. I'm like, I'm just gonna go into crowd work.
[18:47] Speaker 8: So I start talking to these guys and like somehow
[18:51] Speaker 8: we started talking about meth because I think there was like.
[18:53] Speaker 6: A it was like a meth type of vibe.
[18:55] Speaker 8: Yeah, and I like kind of I kind of got
[18:57] Speaker 8: a few laughs, like making fun of the town on
[19:00] Speaker 8: the road.
[19:00] Speaker 6: I was like, what are you doing a small town?
[19:01] Speaker 8: On the next small town, I bet that town fucking
[19:05] Speaker 8: smokes way more math, you know.
[19:07] Speaker 6: But and then someone was like, we actually smoked more math.
[19:13] Speaker 6: Were proud of man.
[19:16] Speaker 8: I was like, oh, I mean, you guys, this is
[19:18] Speaker 8: the meth town.
[19:20] Speaker 6: Springfield Town's trying their hardest coming from you fucking sweating.
[19:27] Speaker 8: I remember at one point there was like a stuffed
[19:30] Speaker 8: bear and I like went into a riff about how
[19:33] Speaker 8: like the bear was the mayor of the town and
[19:36] Speaker 8: like they did not love that. And then I think
[19:40] Speaker 8: I just started getting more drunk on stage and I
[19:43] Speaker 8: just like did crowd work for the rest of the time,
[19:44] Speaker 8: but like it was bad there was definitely like biker dudes.
[19:47] Speaker 8: I was like, these guys are gonna like beat the
[19:49] Speaker 8: ship out of me. I'm like making fun of their town.
[19:52] Speaker 8: But you know, they all kind of came together over
[19:54] Speaker 8: the med stuff. So you know, at least I had
[19:55] Speaker 8: that silver lining.
[19:57] Speaker 9: You got them with a Recdrey.
[20:11] Speaker 4: With Adrey.
[20:13] Speaker 3: Okay, so we got our bombing stories. What were the
[20:16] Speaker 3: other two parts of my podcast?
[20:19] Speaker 6: Quick?
[20:20] Speaker 3: Oh, the worst bob you've ever witnessed in public?
[20:23] Speaker 5: Like people getting bottles thrown at them on stage or
[20:26] Speaker 5: meltdown on stage.
[20:27] Speaker 6: They just get segue into Nick's other stories.
[20:30] Speaker 9: While oh, yeah, I don't, well, let's transition into that later.
[20:38] Speaker 4: I have later a quick podcast to get out of here. Tomorrow, Well,
[20:46] Speaker 4: I have, well.
[20:47] Speaker 3: What is this humbled story?
[20:50] Speaker 9: So Cornell runs a festival up and Humble at Savage
[20:54] Speaker 9: Henry Comedy Cub. It's great, it's every year. It's super fun,
[20:57] Speaker 9: super chill. It was one of the first times I
[21:00] Speaker 9: had gone up there, maybe the second time i'd gone
[21:02] Speaker 9: up there for the festival, and it was the final
[21:04] Speaker 9: show of the weekend. It was the big like headliner show,
[21:07] Speaker 9: right the huge, beautiful venue, beautiful like theater and so
[21:12] Speaker 9: they decided to like book like thirty comics on the show.
[21:16] Speaker 4: The guy I don't run it. I don't know because.
[21:25] Speaker 9: Now the story, Yeah you don't run it, but you're
[21:28] Speaker 9: a big part of the scene up there.
[21:29] Speaker 7: And yeah with the comics, you deal the drugs qu
[21:38] Speaker 7: else from Humble to our listener, but you know the guys,
[21:42] Speaker 7: the guys who run it. It was like the first
[21:44] Speaker 7: time putting any of this ship together. I didn't really understand.
[21:47] Speaker 3: You always say thirty comics or nothing.
[21:50] Speaker 4: Yeah, gets funny at the three hour mark, warming up
[21:55] Speaker 4: the crowd. Literally every show was at least two and
[21:58] Speaker 4: a half hour. It was it was like buy a
[22:01] Speaker 4: bracelet for the whole weekend. They go to one show like.
[22:05] Speaker 6: Comedy.
[22:06] Speaker 7: I never want to see comedy again. It's like all
[22:09] Speaker 7: your favorite comics from Tilarry yea.
[22:15] Speaker 6: And check it out.
[22:16] Speaker 4: Dave's wife is in the lobby, do not walk her home.
[22:22] Speaker 9: So we so it was like all of our comedy
[22:25] Speaker 9: buddies and we all had we all were like, on
[22:27] Speaker 9: this show is the last like blowout night of the festival.
[22:30] Speaker 7: Yeah, it's an old movie theater too, really cool on
[22:33] Speaker 7: stage in front of the big screen.
[22:34] Speaker 9: With like like there's one are those things called like
[22:36] Speaker 9: where they shot Lincoln. There's like yeah, like it was
[22:43] Speaker 9: just really cool. It's a really beautiful venue.
[22:45] Speaker 6: Lincoln Murder vibes.
[22:46] Speaker 9: Yeah, and uh, somebody had cocaine, and so we're like,
[22:51] Speaker 9: let's do a little bit of cocaine before our set.
[22:54] Speaker 9: We'll go up there like Richard pryor, you know, we'll
[22:57] Speaker 9: just have a good time on stage. But the show
[22:59] Speaker 9: was like three and a half hours long, and when
[23:01] Speaker 9: you do a little bit of cocaine, you want to
[23:03] Speaker 9: do a little more.
[23:04] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[23:05] Speaker 7: That other is my hometown. My mom's in the stepped,
[23:11] Speaker 7: my grandma, grandma, grandma's there, everybody's there. It's a big day.
[23:16] Speaker 7: We're in this like attic space. Yeah yeah, because we
[23:20] Speaker 7: go behind the screen and everyone's like kind of hanging
[23:23] Speaker 7: out back there as a green room. But then Nick,
[23:25] Speaker 7: Carl and I find this ladder up to a mystery attic.
[23:28] Speaker 9: Just like they had the Blair Witch Project like attic
[23:32] Speaker 9: that was like dusty and chalky, and so we're like
[23:35] Speaker 9: that's where we're go do our drugs, and we go
[23:38] Speaker 9: and we just keep doing cocaine and we're like go
[23:41] Speaker 9: down and check them with the host like, am I
[23:42] Speaker 9: up next?
[23:43] Speaker 4: And like yeah, nine more comments, Okay, great.
[23:45] Speaker 3: I guess I'll go.
[23:48] Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember I think I was last.
[23:50] Speaker 6: I don't.
[23:50] Speaker 4: I might have been headline and I don't think it.
[23:58] Speaker 4: I don't.
[23:59] Speaker 9: I don't know what we were doing, but I was
[24:00] Speaker 9: like so like numb mouthed, like I put something like
[24:05] Speaker 9: clenching my teeth and I'm trying to get through this
[24:07] Speaker 9: like already miserable show, like a full mental breakdown on stage.
[24:11] Speaker 9: I definitely I've really never seen anything.
[24:13] Speaker 3: Wait what happened?
[24:14] Speaker 9: I mean, I just was like the place was packed,
[24:16] Speaker 9: but of course people trickled out because it was going
[24:17] Speaker 9: on way too long.
[24:18] Speaker 4: So there's nobody.
[24:19] Speaker 7: There, and people there are exhaust exactly the other Comedia
[24:25] Speaker 7: hate comedy.
[24:26] Speaker 4: At this point, it's doing.
[24:28] Speaker 6: The cum joking from Cornell's grandmother.
[24:30] Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm screaming about my jiz and how you get
[24:33] Speaker 4: on stage.
[24:33] Speaker 9: I came on stage and I'm like I can't even speak, man,
[24:36] Speaker 9: like I was so like cracked down.
[24:38] Speaker 3: Tell them you were coked up, thou.
[24:40] Speaker 4: I want to say that was my I think.
[24:44] Speaker 7: My cover there. I think my mom was like, oh,
[24:47] Speaker 7: that's why Corner was acting so usually bulge that much.
[24:54] Speaker 9: He was a byeah, I'm gripping the mic and it
[24:58] Speaker 9: shattered my hand.
[25:03] Speaker 6: So you did.
[25:03] Speaker 8: You could have done like like ten fifteen and just
[25:05] Speaker 8: gotten out of there like a mercy, but you you
[25:08] Speaker 8: did like forty.
[25:13] Speaker 4: Time.
[25:15] Speaker 9: Also, if you remember an hour four oh you brought
[25:18] Speaker 9: him over into tomorrow. I remember like Andre Hyland performed
[25:22] Speaker 9: in that show too, and he had this like video
[25:24] Speaker 9: of like this was like a bomb.
[25:26] Speaker 6: I would love to watch this, she said on video.
[25:28] Speaker 4: This video was like it's just like different horse a
[25:31] Speaker 4: c g I horse horse. Have you seen it?
[25:34] Speaker 8: Yeah?
[25:34] Speaker 4: It was also did not go over well, so he
[25:36] Speaker 4: said set the tone and.
[25:39] Speaker 9: I was like, I need some chemical influence to get
[25:41] Speaker 9: these guys back.
[25:42] Speaker 6: I love horses and I love come. That's a good
[25:45] Speaker 6: idea for a joke.
[25:46] Speaker 4: God, it was a nightmare.
[25:46] Speaker 3: So were you just like.
[25:48] Speaker 4: It's just like you couldn't even like talk. I did
[25:52] Speaker 4: some cocaine in the back three hours.
[25:56] Speaker 6: I was like, I've been in the attic doing.
[25:58] Speaker 9: Code for hours. People like just NY nine one one
[26:04] Speaker 9: and hovering the finger over sand.
[26:12] Speaker 3: You learned, is that the most wasted you've ever been
[26:19] Speaker 3: on stage?
[26:20] Speaker 9: Would you say, oh yeah, definitely, definitely, for surely, I'm
[26:24] Speaker 9: sure I've been my drunker on stage because I was crystal.
[26:27] Speaker 3: Clear with aer Condre.
[26:48] Speaker 9: With a Condre my worst like other people bombing story
[26:52] Speaker 9: was the very very first time I did any open
[26:54] Speaker 9: mic and I went to the Haha Cafe in North Hollyway.
[26:58] Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I got some nightmares. Store.
[27:03] Speaker 9: I had my my really good friend Brandy was the
[27:06] Speaker 9: only one who came to support me, which was fine.
[27:08] Speaker 3: Singer or the singer no.
[27:11] Speaker 9: The beverage, and so I was, you know, I was
[27:21] Speaker 9: like fortieth in the fucking lineup or whatever, and it
[27:23] Speaker 9: started packed and then it just kind of get in
[27:25] Speaker 9: like people left and people left, and I was like
[27:27] Speaker 9: very very late in the show, and right before I
[27:30] Speaker 9: go up, it was probably like half full at this point.
[27:32] Speaker 9: Right before I go up, this guy comes on stage
[27:34] Speaker 9: and brings up like a real dog and takes out
[27:37] Speaker 9: like a gun. There was a toy gun, but brought
[27:40] Speaker 9: out a gun and holds it to the dog's head
[27:42] Speaker 9: and says, if you guys don't laugh at my jokes,
[27:44] Speaker 9: I'll shoot this. It's a fucking hack lampoon bit.
[27:48] Speaker 6: And lastic national lampoon thing. If you don't come to
[27:51] Speaker 6: this movie. We'll kill this.
[27:53] Speaker 9: But it was an awful bit and they walked the
[27:56] Speaker 9: entire crowd.
[27:57] Speaker 4: The entire crowd left.
[27:58] Speaker 9: He did shitty four minutes a comedy, and then it
[28:01] Speaker 9: was just me my friend Brandy, and like the next
[28:03] Speaker 9: comic was in the room, and I went on stage
[28:05] Speaker 9: did my three minutes, and she laughed loud and hard
[28:07] Speaker 9: enough that I was like, I'm going to do this
[28:09] Speaker 9: for the rest.
[28:09] Speaker 3: Of Thanks, Brandy, better than you're my favorite singer. Dude.
[28:20] Speaker 5: Julie Ashton, who's a casting director, very lovely casting. It
[28:24] Speaker 5: was always very sweet to me early on when I
[28:28] Speaker 5: didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I asked
[28:30] Speaker 5: her one time, what was the worst, what's the worst audition.
[28:35] Speaker 3: You've ever experienced?
[28:36] Speaker 5: You've seen like a billion actors come through your your
[28:39] Speaker 5: casting studio, Like, what's the worst, what's the worst you've
[28:42] Speaker 5: ever experienced? She goes, a guy pulled out a gun
[28:46] Speaker 5: during an audition, a real gun, a loaded gun, because
[28:48] Speaker 5: there was a gun in the scene. He was like
[28:50] Speaker 5: a villain in the you know, some drama.
[28:53] Speaker 4: To bring a gun.
[28:53] Speaker 5: Tod pulled out a gun and aimed it at her
[28:58] Speaker 5: and like did the scene and she was like, okay, thanks.
[29:01] Speaker 4: In La.
[29:11] Speaker 7: There was this comic who did open mics back in
[29:14] Speaker 7: the day, and he would always bomb, but I thought
[29:16] Speaker 7: he was the funniest man in the world. He went
[29:19] Speaker 7: by the name gay Lord Dingler.
[29:24] Speaker 6: I'm on board already.
[29:26] Speaker 3: That was Hitler's original.
[29:30] Speaker 4: Friend of the show, kay Lord Dingler.
[29:35] Speaker 7: And he would always he'd just be sitting out in
[29:39] Speaker 7: front of an open mic, just sitting on the ground,
[29:41] Speaker 7: drinking of forty of mickeys before the started, and he
[29:45] Speaker 7: would go up and he had the same act every
[29:48] Speaker 7: single time. You know those crazy guys who just do
[29:50] Speaker 7: open mics and they'd never change a fucking word verbatim.
[29:55] Speaker 4: He's one of those guys.
[29:56] Speaker 7: And every time he would just bomb at these crazy,
[30:00] Speaker 7: weird open mics, and I would be dying laughing. The
[30:05] Speaker 7: only joke of his I really remember it was he
[30:09] Speaker 7: had remember two jokes. One joke he go, he go, uh,
[30:14] Speaker 7: you know, I open up the newspaper and I see
[30:16] Speaker 7: all these these ads for garage sales.
[30:19] Speaker 4: Garage sales.
[30:19] Speaker 7: Yeah, but uh, you know, I've been driving around with
[30:22] Speaker 7: my dog and he hasn't seen one garage for sale.
[30:26] Speaker 4: They always involved his dog for some reason.
[30:29] Speaker 3: I don't know.
[30:31] Speaker 7: That. The other joke, yeah, he goes, this was this
[30:38] Speaker 7: was my favorite one. He goes, Yeah, this woman was
[30:40] Speaker 7: working at a gym. She lost thirty pounds in one day.
[30:44] Speaker 4: Yeah. Can you believe it? Thirty pounds in one day. Yeah.
[30:48] Speaker 4: A machine ripped her leg off.
[30:57] Speaker 3: The best machine ripped.
[31:05] Speaker 9: That gun shooting guy, the gun and dog guy. I
[31:08] Speaker 9: saw him like months later at the Aha Cafe and I.
[31:12] Speaker 6: Was like, where's your dog?
[31:14] Speaker 9: He goes, He's like I did nobody and he had
[31:22] Speaker 9: he now had complete like huge fake veneers, like the masks,
[31:28] Speaker 9: and they weren't like Poppins. They were like dentally like
[31:31] Speaker 9: a dentist installed them. And he was wearing a suit
[31:34] Speaker 9: and he was like, I'm working on my new bit
[31:36] Speaker 9: and I was like, oh, cool man, what is it?
[31:37] Speaker 9: And then he pants himself and he had sewn out
[31:41] Speaker 9: of like nylon and like flesh colored threads, a photorealistic
[31:47] Speaker 9: stuffed penis. This was like outside of the comedy club.
[31:51] Speaker 9: He was like, you got to check my I'm going
[31:53] Speaker 9: on the later show, you got to check my bit out.
[31:55] Speaker 9: I was like, what is it? And then he just
[31:56] Speaker 9: exposed himself. But it's not exposing if it's not real,
[31:59] Speaker 9: but it is kind of exposing if you can't tell
[32:02] Speaker 9: it's not really. So his bit was having crazy mask
[32:06] Speaker 9: teeth and just showing his dick to the crowd.
[32:09] Speaker 6: Artist better than a dog.
[32:11] Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it is a step up.
[32:13] Speaker 4: Everybody's got their journey.
[32:14] Speaker 8: I used to work at this bar in Venice and
[32:16] Speaker 8: I was like just starting stand up. So we found
[32:19] Speaker 8: out there was gonna be a stand It was like
[32:21] Speaker 8: a music though there was never any stand up there.
[32:22] Speaker 8: We found that there's gonna be a stand up night,
[32:24] Speaker 8: and it was like Howard Stern guys, but not like
[32:26] Speaker 8: the A tier. It was like sal the stockbrokers, like
[32:31] Speaker 8: Jim Florentine. I forget who it was. But one guy
[32:36] Speaker 8: closed his set by bringing a woman on stage and
[32:39] Speaker 8: pouring ranch dressing into her ass crack and then licking
[32:43] Speaker 8: it out.
[32:43] Speaker 3: Of her whole boy.
[32:44] Speaker 6: He had multiple women who wanted.
[32:46] Speaker 8: To get on stage. WHOA And I was like, that's
[32:48] Speaker 8: a ranch pioneer right there.
[32:53] Speaker 6: I was literally like people were like, big me, bick me.
[32:56] Speaker 8: It was like, I guess this is like a thing,
[32:58] Speaker 8: but wow, I was like, that's a.
[33:00] Speaker 5: Any other any other fucking things. This is a great
[33:03] Speaker 5: This is phenomenal, fantastic. Yeah, I'm surprised that you're wasted.
[33:09] Speaker 3: Stories weren't that.
[33:10] Speaker 4: I got to think crazy.
[33:11] Speaker 5: I got the three of you. I think you guys
[33:14] Speaker 5: have been so often wasted on stage. It's kind of
[33:17] Speaker 5: like normally you're like, yeah, whatever, it's called Thursday. My man,
[33:20] Speaker 5: you're hear be like I dropped ten hits of acid
[33:23] Speaker 5: in my eye and and.
[33:26] Speaker 4: On stage. The stage is precious, man, that's a precious space,
[33:31] Speaker 4: is a temple. Yeah, you don't, you don't.
[33:33] Speaker 7: And it's not so funny of a story of it
[33:34] Speaker 7: was like I've been getting drunk on stage for fifteen
[33:36] Speaker 7: years and it's probably going to be successful.
[33:38] Speaker 6: It's not really a story so much.
[33:41] Speaker 4: As I've wasted my life.
[33:44] Speaker 9: I can't face the audience unless I myself my life.
[33:52] Speaker 4: I'm days away from giving it all up. But it
[33:55] Speaker 4: is interesting.
[33:56] Speaker 9: That's like why you put it on the podcast, Like
[33:58] Speaker 9: he's fucking dare I have once I shit myself and
[34:02] Speaker 9: suck my own tick.
[34:06] Speaker 8: That was my closer for most of the early two thousands.
[34:11] Speaker 6: All Right, thank you, gentlemen.
[34:12] Speaker 3: I'll probably see you guys like in a few hours.
[34:15] Speaker 4: Yeah, like best vishile or something like that.
[34:17] Speaker 5: Yeah, best fishing bie guys, Thank you bye, I'll be.
[34:24] Speaker 4: With a recondre.
[34:26] Speaker 3: All right, listen up, we got something special for you.
[34:28] Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about
[34:31] Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your
[34:34] Speaker 1: chance to tell me all about it, Mabel. I want
[34:36] Speaker 1: to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck
[34:40] Speaker 1: was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up
[34:43] Speaker 1: your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven
[34:47] Speaker 1: one six two six six twenty four sixty four and
[34:50] Speaker 1: leave me a voicemail and we.
[34:52] Speaker 3: Might just play it on a future episode.
[34:54] Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
[34:56] Speaker 1: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive
[34:59] Speaker 1: producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang, Our
[35:03] Speaker 1: research assistant is David Carliner. Our editor and sound designers
[35:06] Speaker 1: Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go
[35:09] Speaker 1: rate us five stars and drop a review on your
[35:11] Speaker 1: podcast app a choice

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