# You Look Like Smash Mouth & Guy Fieri w/ Dillon Francis

An episode of [Bombing with Eric Andre](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1700594299), 23 Apr 2025, 49 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/7443be8e-6758-4131-bd17-b04a00ee1705/228072a2-e2c3-4251-8270-b2c70184ec36/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=3dc328b2-90a9-4cb4-8c17-b04a00ee9da0

Eric and Nick hang out with EDM icon/music producer Dillon Francis in his hometown of Los Angeles. Convincing his parents to let him drop out of college to fulfill his dreams and sleeping on a couch. Blacking out at Coachella and fun dipping MDMA, craziness that led to him being sober. Irrational fears of accupunctures during an earthquake and being tortured by his siblings. Dillon wants everyone to know that his dad never tortured him with needles and Eric wants everyone to know Dillon looks like the guy from Smash Mouth and Guy Fieri. Follow Dillon Francis at @dillonfrancis and check out Sorry My Love, Waterparks, Dillon Francis - Forget ft. Albert Hype For all things Eric Andre and Bombing follow @ericfuckingandre (Instagram) and @ericandre (TikTok). Rate and review Bombing with Eric Andre here! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: What's up at Sarah Andre and This is Bombing, the
[0:02] Speaker 1: podcast where I talked to comedians, artists, and other interesting
[0:05] Speaker 1: people about the worst bombs of their careers. On today's episode,
[0:08] Speaker 1: I talked to DJ and music producer Dylan Francis about
[0:11] Speaker 1: his starting the music industry, blocking out while performing at Coachella,
[0:15] Speaker 1: My Appoyment with a Sperm Doctor, and more. Check out
[0:18] Speaker 1: Dylan wherever you listen to music and enjoy the episode.
[0:23] Speaker 2: Bombing with Eric Andre.
[0:30] Speaker 1: He we're going to talk about bombing. We're gonna talk
[0:32] Speaker 1: about your worst show.
[0:33] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, time.
[0:34] Speaker 1: Where are you from? Rusa La? Really? Yeah? Well part
[0:37] Speaker 1: so is he and you didn't ask him a single
[0:40] Speaker 1: fucking thing. I haven't even looked at.
[0:44] Speaker 2: What is he?
[0:44] Speaker 1: Fucking Chopped Liver? This is Nick's world? Man, We're living
[0:49] Speaker 1: at it. Yeah, thanks for coming to my show. Chop
[0:50] Speaker 1: Liver with Nick and by the end we're gonna be
[0:52] Speaker 1: holding hands out what he did now? Yeah, he's got
[0:55] Speaker 1: two emmys, right one, He's got one Emmy. Emmy go
[1:00] Speaker 1: Rick and Morty Hero for SNL. Hell yeah he wrote
[1:04] Speaker 1: for uh Eric Andre show, dream work. Sometimes you just
[1:10] Speaker 1: take yeah, yeah, sometimes you take it. We're having a
[1:12] Speaker 1: good report. Okay, Okay, Now, yes, you're from l A
[1:17] Speaker 1: l A born and raised Culver City area, Westwood in
[1:20] Speaker 1: National was like proper l hospital. Were born in Cedar Sinai. Okay,
[1:24] Speaker 1: but in Miami, No Mount Sinai. I'm sorry. I feel
[1:29] Speaker 1: like they might be connecting something from Yeah, the Sinai
[1:32] Speaker 1: is a little cide. It sounds like too much like side.
[1:36] Speaker 1: It sounds too similar to Mount. That's a religious thing, right,
[1:40] Speaker 1: I guess. So doesn't mean it's a Jewish hospital. My
[1:43] Speaker 1: mom's Jewish religious. It's a Jewish hospital. Okay. So where
[1:46] Speaker 1: do you get your start? They get my start? Yeah,
[1:49] Speaker 1: tell us a little bit. Give us the bio, man.
[1:51] Speaker 1: The bio is, what were you doing in teenage years?
[1:54] Speaker 1: Doing backyard wrestling? Teenage years? Skating and smoking? Smoking? No, no, no,
[2:00] Speaker 1: skateboarding didn't. I don't know about that. You don't know
[2:03] Speaker 1: about skateboarding. It said, So there's a board and then
[2:05] Speaker 1: wheels are attached to it. I'm bored. Did you get
[2:10] Speaker 1: did you get sunburn? Yeah all the time. Yeah, a
[2:14] Speaker 1: good question. That's a good question. All the way guys
[2:17] Speaker 1: did Yeah, but I don't now I don't have as
[2:20] Speaker 1: much sun because I'm not just you know, skating all
[2:22] Speaker 1: day well, but you wear SPF right, not anymore? You
[2:25] Speaker 1: got to daily, got to do it daily. I will
[2:28] Speaker 1: behind the ears for you. I will. Okay, So you
[2:32] Speaker 1: grew up skating is spoken, and then you got did
[2:35] Speaker 1: you get into DJ and the music? I went to
[2:37] Speaker 1: art school and I was at Loxa. Where's that Los
[2:41] Speaker 1: Angeles count of High school for the arts? On went
[2:43] Speaker 1: to a high school, art school, high school on the
[2:46] Speaker 1: arts magnets a couple of artists right there. I really
[2:50] Speaker 1: wanted you to be on the show. You didn't, No, dude,
[2:54] Speaker 1: that's not true. A music video or something. Yes, what
[2:58] Speaker 1: happened all that you didn't want to do it? That's
[3:01] Speaker 1: not true. Bring up the would I would love for
[3:05] Speaker 1: you to know what you know what? He is right
[3:08] Speaker 1: about that? Okay, I'm the one that fucked that one up.
[3:11] Speaker 1: I thank you. Lies with Eric, Yeah but uh but yeah.
[3:16] Speaker 1: I went to LASA. I was doing art. I was
[3:18] Speaker 1: in photography and as I was, as I graduated, I
[3:23] Speaker 1: went to SMC and I dropped out because I was
[3:27] Speaker 1: Santa Monica Community College. Oh, it's like a legendary, it is,
[3:31] Speaker 1: though it is. I mean like like fucking Samuel Jackson
[3:33] Speaker 1: went there and sh right, he's the dean. You know,
[3:36] Speaker 1: famous people went there. Yeah, I think it's like also
[3:40] Speaker 1: went there, somebody, somebody that big went there. I'm not
[3:42] Speaker 1: making a joke. You're moved here in like like twenty five. Yeah,
[3:47] Speaker 1: you can just say names. Somebody's got to stop it.
[3:50] Speaker 1: Jo whatever fucking celebrity. Yeah. If I we have known
[3:54] Speaker 1: that Arnold Chorsanger was at SMC, I probably would have
[3:56] Speaker 1: stayed somebody like that is that when you're thinking, are
[4:00] Speaker 1: all right? You are right? It has like a because
[4:03] Speaker 1: Santa Monica back in the day was like a dreamy,
[4:05] Speaker 1: sleepy little beach town. It wasn't expensive. Yeah, back in
[4:09] Speaker 1: the day, Malibu, that area that was like a damn
[4:12] Speaker 1: tech companies with the microphones and no I even think
[4:15] Speaker 1: before the tech companies started getting Richard famous, it used
[4:19] Speaker 1: to bebster, the lobsters, you know people you like, like
[4:22] Speaker 1: lobsters for poor people. Yeah, like it used to be
[4:24] Speaker 1: for prison exactly, and then the lobster used to be
[4:27] Speaker 1: for prisoner. Yeah, Santa Monica, go there if you can't
[4:30] Speaker 1: afford real college head that before Yeah, so yeah, so
[4:34] Speaker 1: that was you. That was I was the prisoner that
[4:37] Speaker 1: was eating lobster. You go there? Yeah, I go there,
[4:42] Speaker 1: and then I dropped me Samuel Jackson. I meet Samuel
[4:44] Speaker 1: Jackson as the dean. I'm like, this will sucks. He's
[4:46] Speaker 1: like you need to DJ. Yeah, and he's like, we
[4:49] Speaker 1: got to get these kids off of this plane or something. No,
[4:54] Speaker 1: but horrible, Joseph, I didn't even commit to it. Did
[5:01] Speaker 1: you dropped that? You dropped that just like you dropped
[5:03] Speaker 1: out of college.
[5:04] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[5:04] Speaker 1: I dropped out of it. So I called my dad
[5:07] Speaker 1: and I was like, hey, I I quit doing school.
[5:10] Speaker 1: I don't want to do anymore. He's like, okay, cool,
[5:12] Speaker 1: just figure how to make money. So I did a
[5:14] Speaker 1: bunch of foot but check out this, dad. I mean,
[5:21] Speaker 1: my parents definitely they supported me, but I definitely think
[5:26] Speaker 1: that they were like, our kid is so dumb. What
[5:29] Speaker 1: does the DJ dude you press play and somebody else's
[5:32] Speaker 1: music plays, or do you make the music? Make the
[5:34] Speaker 1: music and do that. You're like a producer producer, so
[5:37] Speaker 1: you produce the music and sometimes you press play on
[5:40] Speaker 1: the thing and people and the wild wait, wait, can
[5:44] Speaker 1: I show you their hoods? They don't do that. They
[5:47] Speaker 1: do and the guys show you their gone. Yeah, I
[5:51] Speaker 1: asked them in one of the shows if they everyone
[5:53] Speaker 1: could of course. Okay, so you go to SMC, you
[6:01] Speaker 1: drop out, you tell you dad, I'm gonna I'm gonna
[6:03] Speaker 1: do fuck this ship, and then what was your plan?
[6:05] Speaker 1: From there? I just somehow started getting into DJing and
[6:09] Speaker 1: I was like, you know what my plan is? I
[6:10] Speaker 1: want to play Centaspace, which Stevie Oki democ Tuesdays was there,
[6:14] Speaker 1: and I at that point realized, like, the only way
[6:18] Speaker 1: I can play it is if I make my own
[6:19] Speaker 1: music and then I'll get booked. So hustling as hard
[6:23] Speaker 1: as I could. I met my friend Corey Nita, who
[6:26] Speaker 1: was a music producer in Atlanta, and I was like, hey,
[6:29] Speaker 1: I would Corea. He went by Corey enemy, last name Nita,
[6:33] Speaker 1: last name Nita, A little Corey, little Corey.
[6:38] Speaker 2: Oh.
[6:38] Speaker 1: I thought he's Japanese. He is Japanese. But Corey Nita, No,
[6:45] Speaker 1: I'm saying, let's get please figure in percentages, not on
[6:53] Speaker 1: both sides, non Mexico Japanese. We actually got Cornitas. He's
[7:00] Speaker 1: having bloody. We got a drop of his blood. We
[7:03] Speaker 1: sent it in, put it on the screen. Japanese thirties.
[7:08] Speaker 1: Here he comes out neck, put the blood back inside.
[7:15] Speaker 1: I'll put it back in. Okay, So tell me, tell
[7:19] Speaker 1: me a little bit more. You going to stop your story,
[7:22] Speaker 1: little child? What were you like a musical child? Oh no,
[7:26] Speaker 1: I dabbled in everything like a saxophone, guitar, bass that
[7:30] Speaker 1: sounds like a musical Yeah no, no, but no, but I
[7:33] Speaker 1: mean like I did two weeks and I was like,
[7:34] Speaker 1: I'm out. I don't want I don't want to do
[7:36] Speaker 1: this anymore. And then for some reason, a computer just
[7:39] Speaker 1: made sense for playing exactly what else is it? Do
[7:49] Speaker 1: you count back? Did you check out the count? Penis?
[7:57] Speaker 2: Two?
[7:58] Speaker 1: Penis is? Okay?
[8:00] Speaker 2: So you're with.
[8:02] Speaker 1: Cordnita and I got you in backstage or something. No,
[8:05] Speaker 1: we're writing music. So he was like, hey, if you
[8:08] Speaker 1: if you fly yourself to Atlanta, you can sleep on
[8:11] Speaker 1: my floor, be my assistant. I'll teach you how to
[8:14] Speaker 1: make music. So for two months my floor. What do
[8:16] Speaker 1: you fucking his feudal surf. We got a fucking statistic
[8:19] Speaker 1: ship that works in Atlanta. That's how it works. Yeah,
[8:22] Speaker 1: but sleep on the couch. There is no couch. No,
[8:25] Speaker 1: come on, we got to blow up mattress. Spider man. Okay,
[8:28] Speaker 1: that's good. That's better. Yeah, it was nice. I was
[8:30] Speaker 1: in the dining room, so he taught you that was
[8:31] Speaker 1: like your kill Bill Montage exactly. And then I went
[8:34] Speaker 1: home after two months of working there, and I stayed
[8:38] Speaker 1: in the back house of my parents' place for a year,
[8:41] Speaker 1: and I paid them five hundred bucks every now and
[8:43] Speaker 1: then every time, and your dad would come over with
[8:45] Speaker 1: like a cup of coffee, like thinking about going back
[8:47] Speaker 1: to school. He did, so he made a big deal.
[8:50] Speaker 1: We made a deal. Actually, we made a deal where
[8:53] Speaker 1: he was like, look if if I was like, if
[8:55] Speaker 1: this doesn't work, I will go back to SMC and
[8:57] Speaker 1: I will do my ge stuff and I'll go to
[8:59] Speaker 1: UCL like you want me to. And it worked. And
[9:03] Speaker 1: hey Dad looking at that camera and say, fuck you, dad,
[9:06] Speaker 1: fuck you, that's right you did. I did it. And
[9:13] Speaker 1: his cell phone number. But now are your parents very
[9:17] Speaker 1: They're proud. They gott to be proud and very proud,
[9:19] Speaker 1: very proud. You go to my house or are they
[9:20] Speaker 1: still together? I paid back for my DUI that I
[9:24] Speaker 1: got when I was eighteen. That was expensive. It was
[9:27] Speaker 1: very expensive drink it was so worth it. That's when
[9:31] Speaker 1: you stopped drinking. No, I didn't stop drinking, kept going,
[9:34] Speaker 1: and you were like boo, oopsie, hey stop exactly, this
[9:45] Speaker 1: is a great this is exactly what I was doing.
[9:48] Speaker 1: Wait a minute, that's what got you to stop the
[9:50] Speaker 1: duy to stop drinking. Yeah, no, no, no, I mean
[9:54] Speaker 1: I didn't stop drinking until three years ago. Oh ship,
[9:57] Speaker 1: sixteen duys later, sixteen dus later. Yeah, I can't get
[10:02] Speaker 1: a license. What was the last drink? The last drink
[10:07] Speaker 1: was probably like a tequila shot or something. Were you
[10:10] Speaker 1: was it like, whoa, I'm going fucking hard or was
[10:12] Speaker 1: it like you were kind of I was already on
[10:14] Speaker 1: the down petering out of it. Yeah, you know, not
[10:17] Speaker 1: everybody hard stops. Some people just I petered off. Get
[10:21] Speaker 1: the hangovers too long? Exactly, superainful. He knows me. This
[10:25] Speaker 1: guy can't get a hangover. You and Carl, you might
[10:27] Speaker 1: be born with that gene that you don't get hungover.
[10:30] Speaker 1: I get a hangover occasionally, occasional. Every time I drink,
[10:33] Speaker 1: I get a hangover. Yeah, and that's that's that's not
[10:35] Speaker 1: I smell it and I get a hangover. Yeah. I
[10:38] Speaker 1: want to I want to have nineteen DUI so I
[10:40] Speaker 1: can quit drinking. You can't it's actually really simple. Yeah,
[10:45] Speaker 1: well I don't well driving something on the way somewhere
[10:52] Speaker 1: and on the way back. Yeah, he drinks a road
[10:56] Speaker 1: study like I don't do that. I don't do that anymore.
[10:59] Speaker 1: That's like fucking decades you talking about it the other day.
[11:03] Speaker 1: Oh wait, what are you talking about? Drink and tribe
[11:05] Speaker 1: all the time? Do you You've never been in my
[11:07] Speaker 1: I've never been in your car in seven eight years.
[11:10] Speaker 1: You look like a guy that would have cherries and
[11:11] Speaker 1: his cup holder that have Ever Clear. You're just chopping.
[11:15] Speaker 1: Don't do this podcast anymore. We're supposed to attack this guy.
[11:20] Speaker 1: What the hell is this? Turn on? Nick with aarondre.
[11:22] Speaker 1: I don't like this. Wait there's that you could put
[11:27] Speaker 1: ever Clear and cherry? Yeah you can. Now we can
[11:31] Speaker 1: talk about the premise of the show. What is the
[11:33] Speaker 1: worst show you've ever done? What is the worst gig
[11:36] Speaker 1: you ever had? What is the worst day job? Worst day?
[11:40] Speaker 1: And what's the most fucking wasted you've been on stage?
[11:42] Speaker 1: And how how is the the person you loved the most?
[11:45] Speaker 1: How did you hurt them?
[11:47] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[11:47] Speaker 1: Okay?
[11:48] Speaker 3: And what's your favorite child trauma? And one's the one
[11:52] Speaker 3: you can't stop raving about favorite childhood trauma. Do you
[11:56] Speaker 3: remember the movie Hook? Remember the roodio? Yeah, the blue box,
[12:00] Speaker 3: I don't remember. I got a the boo box. It
[12:02] Speaker 3: was the scorpion. So they put a guy in a
[12:04] Speaker 3: box and there's the scorpion and they dropped the scorpion in.
[12:08] Speaker 3: So my brother and his friend Cash wanted to do
[12:10] Speaker 3: the boo box, but we didn't have a scorpion, but
[12:12] Speaker 3: we did have a.
[12:13] Speaker 1: Dog cage, so they put me in a dog cage.
[12:15] Speaker 1: Hog Tide put a sock in my mouth and scraped
[12:18] Speaker 1: me with water. My childhood, it's like Alabama fucking torture.
[12:25] Speaker 4: Also, to go from the boot box to like, it's
[12:28] Speaker 4: just like.
[12:31] Speaker 1: That's bucks. We're playing Steven Spielberg's Hook. Mom and dad,
[12:36] Speaker 1: leave us alone, dude, Stephen super for real? Yeah really.
[12:44] Speaker 5: Whoa, let's put yeah.
[12:50] Speaker 2: With Adre with a recD.
[13:01] Speaker 1: This is the best bombing experience ever. Later in the show,
[13:05] Speaker 1: so tell us something else. I like, you guys, you're cool. Hey, okay, okay, okay,
[13:14] Speaker 1: well not say it yet, okay, And I'll say it now.
[13:18] Speaker 1: I was playing at this very crusty festival up in
[13:23] Speaker 1: It's I think it's upstate New York called Camp Bisco,
[13:26] Speaker 1: and I was, it was the first time I was
[13:28] Speaker 1: headlining a stage. So me and a friend whose name
[13:32] Speaker 1: I won't say, I was, we'll put it up, We'll
[13:35] Speaker 1: put it up on the screen, put up on the
[13:37] Speaker 1: screen for me. His number I was, I was drinking
[13:40] Speaker 1: a lot and he was drinking Choice. I was, I
[13:43] Speaker 1: was drinking Greg Goose at the time, and I think
[13:45] Speaker 1: I drank a whole bottle to myself. And then he was, yeah,
[13:48] Speaker 1: I was thirsty, it's it's hot and uh. And then
[13:53] Speaker 1: my friend was just like basically fun dipping ecstasy into
[13:58] Speaker 1: his mouth so or M D M A, and he
[14:03] Speaker 1: was emceeing for me. I don't think there's any footage
[14:05] Speaker 1: of this online, thank god, but he's m seeing for me.
[14:09] Speaker 1: And I got so drunk. I think halfway through the show.
[14:12] Speaker 1: I couldn't really see my computer screen as I was
[14:14] Speaker 1: djaing off of it, and I could not send emails
[14:18] Speaker 1: or checkin, Yeah you're playing tickets and all that stuff.
[14:23] Speaker 1: I can I can do. I can't do any work.
[14:25] Speaker 1: I couldn't even see the song. So I so you
[14:29] Speaker 1: were faded, I was, I was like, your eyes are
[14:32] Speaker 1: like and you're like like this, yeah, yeah, and there's
[14:36] Speaker 1: like a song ending over here. There's a song ending,
[14:38] Speaker 1: and I had no idea what to play next. And
[14:40] Speaker 1: the song ended, and I still couldn't see the computer.
[14:44] Speaker 1: So I look over at him and I'm like, talk
[14:45] Speaker 1: on the mic, and he's like, I can't. Fun No,
[14:52] Speaker 1: he doesn't get on the mic. There is probably like
[14:54] Speaker 1: thirty seconds of silence at a music festival, Juda. So
[15:02] Speaker 1: we're just standing there and I try to pick up
[15:05] Speaker 1: the mic and talk. I don't even think I said anything.
[15:07] Speaker 1: I maybe even mumbled some words lips yeah, And then
[15:15] Speaker 1: I found a song and I just clicked it into
[15:17] Speaker 1: the the turntable goes en serato. Basically, you're it's like
[15:22] Speaker 1: fake vinyl. We know, okay? Cool. I wanted to let
[15:26] Speaker 1: you demo, dude, demo Hell yeah? Sign him right now, dude,
[15:35] Speaker 1: if you want the bravery, you would sign on her,
[15:38] Speaker 1: just knowing that I have a USB driver.
[15:41] Speaker 2: Yes.
[15:42] Speaker 1: Does Hulu represent Yes, that's the name of that on
[15:45] Speaker 1: DJ Hulu. You don't even want that ship Holy you
[15:49] Speaker 1: want to ship here?
[15:52] Speaker 2: Ship?
[15:53] Speaker 1: Dude? Did you go over the King speech? That's the
[15:55] Speaker 1: King speech? Man, That's what I call all my music.
[15:59] Speaker 1: I wish I could have used this that night. You
[16:03] Speaker 1: needed that, Yeah, I could have fucking fun up. Okay,
[16:07] Speaker 1: So you know, thirty thirty seconds of silence, and I
[16:13] Speaker 1: just clicked a song in and during this time, songs
[16:16] Speaker 1: are five minutes long for anything you're playing, so it's
[16:19] Speaker 1: a drum intro that's usually a minute, so we So
[16:23] Speaker 1: I clicked a song in that was a minute long.
[16:26] Speaker 1: Just boom boom, like a track. Yeah, basically basically playing
[16:30] Speaker 1: a TIC track exactly. Is the stage managor is anybody
[16:36] Speaker 1: that like runs this concert? Like, oh fuck no, I
[16:39] Speaker 1: don't even think I had a tour manager at the time.
[16:41] Speaker 1: It was like a concerto. Yes, that's cool, halfway climbing
[16:46] Speaker 1: out the stack of speakers like maybe. Okay. So the
[16:50] Speaker 1: great thing is my old photographer, his girlfriend was actually
[16:54] Speaker 1: at Camp Bisco when that happened, and he asked her
[16:58] Speaker 1: about it, and she said, oh yeah, when that happened,
[17:01] Speaker 1: we all just thought he was fucking with us. We
[17:03] Speaker 1: thought he was just playing a huge joke on the crowd.
[17:06] Speaker 1: So I got away with it Scott free because I
[17:08] Speaker 1: was just it was so off. Yeah, and then joke. Yeah, man,
[17:14] Speaker 1: he's changing the game sometimes he doesn't even play music.
[17:19] Speaker 1: So that was my that was my worst bombing experience.
[17:21] Speaker 1: What do I do with me? He listened to it
[17:24] Speaker 1: to your label? All right, I got this. So you
[17:26] Speaker 1: get off stage and that night you're puke and blood right, No, no, no,
[17:30] Speaker 1: that that was it. That was the time. I was like,
[17:35] Speaker 1: well we got off and I was like, dude, why
[17:36] Speaker 1: didn't you say anything? And he's like I couldn't. He's
[17:40] Speaker 1: just and why don't you drink water? At that point? No,
[17:43] Speaker 1: we just kept drinking more. Oh boy, So that is
[17:45] Speaker 1: I kind of the activity that I feel like, you're like, well, well,
[17:48] Speaker 1: might as well drink more. Yeah, I failed up again.
[17:50] Speaker 1: I haven't Yea, I didn't throw up. That's him when
[17:53] Speaker 1: he drives. Yeah, sorry, office here, I'm going to fail
[17:56] Speaker 1: up again. I don't like this beat.
[17:59] Speaker 2: Used to.
[18:02] Speaker 1: About it, telling him, why this guy do you lie? Okay,
[18:07] Speaker 1: this guy talking to me? Give me that? Give me
[18:09] Speaker 1: you're telling me. I used to have a joke about it.
[18:12] Speaker 1: You've never been a little tipsy like driving home? No? Okay, okay, okay,
[18:21] Speaker 1: I mean yeah, honestly, you remember the stories about your drinking. Yeah,
[18:27] Speaker 1: And I just remember him one of the greatest. Yeah,
[18:31] Speaker 1: and I just wish you would still do it. Yeah,
[18:36] Speaker 1: I just wish he would drive again. This was your driver,
[18:39] Speaker 1: drink again, both drinking. He will do driving, He'll know.
[18:42] Speaker 1: It was one of the most iconic things ever happened
[18:44] Speaker 1: in like the way Los Angeles history. What him drinking
[18:47] Speaker 1: and driving. I would be standing in a line waiting
[18:50] Speaker 1: for him to come down, just knocking, no, just to
[18:54] Speaker 1: see him driving down and you know what car was
[18:57] Speaker 1: he going to drive? Who was he going to do for?
[18:58] Speaker 1: He was at the top of the hill and people
[19:01] Speaker 1: down please, it was like marathon. They were like trying
[19:04] Speaker 1: to pass me shots of Vodkas. Okay, so tell us
[19:09] Speaker 1: some more bombing stories. Okay, more bombing stories. Relationship, relationship.
[19:14] Speaker 1: Did you have a bomb this week ago? Yeah? So,
[19:18] Speaker 1: I mean there was one where I played like I
[19:20] Speaker 1: played a like a like a PTA mom. Maybe you
[19:23] Speaker 1: had a bomb movie. I'm just trying to get the
[19:25] Speaker 1: attention out of me. There there was no bomb this week.
[19:29] Speaker 1: There was one show that I played that I went
[19:33] Speaker 1: to Dallas, Texas and I was playing at the House
[19:37] Speaker 1: of Blues. I think it was a five hundred cap And.
[19:40] Speaker 6: You know, okay, nice they take that I'm telling everybody
[19:45] Speaker 6: else right right, I forgot about them.
[19:48] Speaker 1: It's not just us here, it's everyone else out there.
[19:52] Speaker 1: We're not rolling. Cameras are made out of candy. I'm
[19:56] Speaker 1: gonna eat one later, that's for sure. And all those
[19:58] Speaker 1: pills back there was a real mo candy. Are you
[20:01] Speaker 1: got it? And you have to pick ten and take
[20:03] Speaker 1: them all? Some will make your heart pop like a balloon.
[20:07] Speaker 1: I'm in, I'm in. We can eat those later. People
[20:12] Speaker 1: under a small show for you now. Well this was
[20:15] Speaker 1: at the beginning of my career, and the promoter was like,
[20:19] Speaker 1: it's so good, It's gonna be great, what a what
[20:21] Speaker 1: a fun night ahead. He texted me. He's like, hey man,
[20:23] Speaker 1: can you like maybe show up a little bit later,
[20:25] Speaker 1: Like it's a little light I'm a walk up right now.
[20:27] Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, cool whatever, and he's like, Dallas, Yeah,
[20:31] Speaker 1: this is Dallas, dude. I walked in. There were three people,
[20:35] Speaker 1: yeah yeah, and the lights were on, so like lights
[20:38] Speaker 1: like this on in in a five hundred cap venue
[20:41] Speaker 1: just shows a lot of space. Yeah yeah. And so
[20:43] Speaker 1: the guy's like, hey man, like like do you mind
[20:45] Speaker 1: just like going on for fifteen minutes? I was like, yeah,
[20:47] Speaker 1: of course, like whatever played for that's sick. I played
[20:50] Speaker 1: for three people for I think maybe thirty and they
[20:53] Speaker 1: were just doing the Bernie the whole time. Yeah, and
[20:56] Speaker 1: the and I shook their hands from over the DJ
[20:59] Speaker 1: booth and said, thanks for being here. Fans for life,
[21:02] Speaker 1: I hope. So what if that turned them? If they're
[21:05] Speaker 1: like coming like that guy sucked and he shook my
[21:08] Speaker 1: hand and it was greasy. Why did he touch us?
[21:12] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[21:12] Speaker 1: I came here to dance, not gonnassault. What the fuck
[21:14] Speaker 1: is wrong with that guy? Dylan? Guys problem? And yeah,
[21:18] Speaker 1: so why don't we do a music video together? Dude,
[21:20] Speaker 1: let's do it. That's a bomb. I would love to
[21:22] Speaker 1: That's a bomb. Please, I'm free. I'm trying to think
[21:25] Speaker 1: of more bombs that I've had. I mean, I I
[21:27] Speaker 1: blacked out during Coachella. What do you mean two years ago? No,
[21:32] Speaker 1: I fully, like twenty minutes into the set. I don't
[21:34] Speaker 1: remember any of the set. You were drinking, though, I
[21:37] Speaker 1: was drinking that weekend, so not drinking is pretty good. Okay, sorry,
[21:40] Speaker 1: so four years ago, oh you blacked out drinking? I
[21:43] Speaker 1: blacked It wasn't that bad of a bombing that everyone
[21:45] Speaker 1: was like, oh, you were fine. I did play the
[21:47] Speaker 1: wrong song at the end, but you don't remember any
[21:50] Speaker 1: of it. That's kind of cool. Yeah, and I said,
[21:52] Speaker 1: please don't show me any footage. That's my goal of
[21:54] Speaker 1: each of these podcasts. I'm so drunk. You don't remember him.
[21:58] Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, they still did good back not
[22:02] Speaker 1: even have any responsibility to real life severance. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
[22:07] Speaker 1: this is my There was a I haven't seen the
[22:10] Speaker 1: show and I don't get the reference, so I felt left.
[22:13] Speaker 1: Do you mind if we just talked then?
[22:15] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[22:15] Speaker 1: You guys, what are you talking about Lost? Or the
[22:19] Speaker 1: first season? I'm starting to watch. I've never seen Lost.
[22:24] Speaker 1: I just started Lost. I'm going to text you about it. Okay,
[22:27] Speaker 1: please do we can go back and forth. You have
[22:29] Speaker 1: your finger on the pulse. I can't wait to tweet
[22:32] Speaker 1: about it. Have you guys seen this thing? It's incredibly
[22:36] Speaker 1: smoke monster.
[22:39] Speaker 4: Talking about there's one of the best pieces of TV
[22:42] Speaker 4: in the world.
[22:43] Speaker 1: I keep there's a lot of holes and Lost. It
[22:46] Speaker 1: is like it's kind of a mess. Yeah, you can't
[22:48] Speaker 1: think about it though they captivated the nation. Why it's fun?
[22:53] Speaker 1: You're enjoying it? Yeah, but it's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah,
[22:56] Speaker 1: and They're not going to answer any of those questions. Man,
[22:58] Speaker 1: there's no they can't. If you guys have talked about
[23:02] Speaker 1: your worst bombs already, right, so I can't hear any
[23:03] Speaker 1: of them. We're not allowed to talk on the podcast.
[23:05] Speaker 1: They cut out that. It's just me. Yeah. The way
[23:12] Speaker 1: they do it, it works good. Yeah. I can't wait
[23:15] Speaker 1: to see this.
[23:16] Speaker 2: Now.
[23:16] Speaker 1: Are you California sober? That means you smoke a little
[23:19] Speaker 1: of the green, No, I can't. I wish I could
[23:22] Speaker 1: smoke weed.
[23:22] Speaker 2: I don't like.
[23:23] Speaker 1: Are you Nevadis sober? Where you got to do a
[23:24] Speaker 1: little bit of that? What about New Mexico? Okay sober?
[23:33] Speaker 1: Where you're like punch out of bake swind Now I
[23:36] Speaker 1: think I'm probably yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Are we all
[23:40] Speaker 1: little angry yeah yeah, angry organs sober?
[23:44] Speaker 2: Now?
[23:45] Speaker 1: Did you meditate? Do you meditate? Do I meditate? Do
[23:48] Speaker 1: healthy stuff? Now? Yeah? I try to. Like Max de
[23:51] Speaker 1: Marco was on the podcast, he says he doesn't drink anymore,
[23:53] Speaker 1: but he does like acupuncture and all these crazy like
[23:56] Speaker 1: I don't like tea and ship I did. I've done
[23:59] Speaker 1: acupuncture twice. I don't like I have a really irrational
[24:02] Speaker 1: fear of getting acupuncture and then an earthquake happening and
[24:07] Speaker 1: having the room that's like naked gun. Yeah, that's like
[24:10] Speaker 1: final destination ship.
[24:11] Speaker 2: Right.
[24:11] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I have a crazy fear. So I've only
[24:14] Speaker 1: done it twice, but it's great. It's a specific drama.
[24:17] Speaker 1: I wonder if it's tied to you being hog tied
[24:20] Speaker 1: in a fucking dog cage. I have two dogs. We
[24:27] Speaker 1: don't have a dog cage for that reason. You're married now,
[24:29] Speaker 1: I'm not married. But you think I can't marry a dog,
[24:33] Speaker 1: and you're sertain we can't marry too. I don't know
[24:37] Speaker 1: if that's true. I don't know that's true every country
[24:40] Speaker 1: last time about you? All right, that's true, but I
[24:45] Speaker 1: mean that's that's Colorado sobers what you're talking about. Okay, now,
[24:52] Speaker 1: let me ask you. You're not married. I'm not married.
[24:55] Speaker 1: It says in my notes you're married. It does it
[24:58] Speaker 1: says you're recently married? No? You see that? Well? Are you?
[25:02] Speaker 1: That's show him ring her out? Okay, fine, come on, Nicole.
[25:07] Speaker 1: Have you ever had a relationship, a long term relationship? Yeah?
[25:11] Speaker 1: Are you one now? Yeah? I'm in one now? But
[25:13] Speaker 1: you feel trapped? No?
[25:18] Speaker 2: No?
[25:18] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's okay to say it. I love her. Maybe
[25:24] Speaker 1: that's what it is. By Dylan, would marry Nicole? Just
[25:28] Speaker 1: say you feel trapped and oftentimes marriage won't solve the
[25:31] Speaker 1: problems that you have. Thanks guys, Yeah, I'm glad I
[25:38] Speaker 1: came on here to talk about this.
[25:39] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[25:39] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I have been feeling like you were a
[25:42] Speaker 1: Latin Grammy nominee for sex. So did you have sex?
[25:48] Speaker 1: So with the girl you're trapped? Yes? I did. I'm
[25:51] Speaker 1: trapped with her. We've had we had sex. So all
[25:53] Speaker 1: the time? Are you looking for an own X tone? No? No,
[25:59] Speaker 1: I'd like about this podcast solely to look for way,
[26:08] Speaker 1: don't you have to cut out a Spanolis? Nick says,
[26:21] Speaker 1: MOLLI caroo t uh me musica when it can on?
[26:34] Speaker 1: Oh my god, another one? I don't album? I can
[26:39] Speaker 1: do this?
[26:40] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[26:40] Speaker 1: Can you that one? And you gotta watch the movie Bridesmaids? Please?
[26:47] Speaker 1: You have to? Would you please think you can make
[26:52] Speaker 1: some moves for it? Like you could really change our life?
[26:54] Speaker 1: I can't wait. I hope you have a Blu ray player.
[26:57] Speaker 1: I got all of this, it's all going in the pocket.
[26:59] Speaker 1: I got two c ds. My your Dad's an alternative
[27:03] Speaker 1: medicine stuck. Yeah, so he's the one that gave me.
[27:05] Speaker 1: Is that witch craft where the traumas from where the
[27:09] Speaker 1: trauma is from. No, I don't have trauma from that.
[27:11] Speaker 1: Your dad hurt you with those never hurt me. That's
[27:14] Speaker 1: what acupuncture. That's how the acupunctures torture their kids. No looks, Yes, No,
[27:24] Speaker 1: you torture dad. So that's why you have that that
[27:28] Speaker 1: recurring I have that fear. Really, Yeah, you don't feel
[27:34] Speaker 1: like what I think. He has tortured you with needles.
[27:40] Speaker 1: Your brother put you hog tide, you in an Alabama
[27:45] Speaker 1: heroin and you married two dogs. What's what's what's the
[27:50] Speaker 1: what's addicted? Something you enjoy and it helps you out
[27:54] Speaker 1: every day? Yeah, okay, then I'm a I thought was
[28:00] Speaker 1: the amount of times you're doing it, But now you
[28:02] Speaker 1: did a a lot of heroin. You helped popularize moombton
[28:13] Speaker 1: musically mom Button for the rest of the and then
[28:19] Speaker 1: going back to your dad hurt you. Brother is a
[28:23] Speaker 1: piece of you got it. Don't pull the curd back
[28:25] Speaker 1: too far. The podcast starts strong and then and then
[28:27] Speaker 1: it just starts random. Like media forms, loom Button mixes
[28:33] Speaker 1: the rhythmic origins of Dutch house or house music, the
[28:37] Speaker 1: slow Temple to promote you. Check I can't wait. Check
[28:42] Speaker 1: that out for me, just because play it at your
[28:44] Speaker 1: next show in contemporary concerto play I recorded over it.
[28:50] Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is this is just a piece
[28:53] Speaker 1: of cardboards, a cardboard. I'm promoting this piece of cardboard
[28:58] Speaker 1: coming out. Anybody can buy that, anyone. Anyone will play
[29:02] Speaker 1: at your nick I'll make a one hundred of them.
[29:04] Speaker 1: This is mine.
[29:05] Speaker 2: No, we need that.
[29:06] Speaker 1: It's part of the set. Why did you give it
[29:07] Speaker 1: to me because I was doing a bit come having fun? Yeah,
[29:13] Speaker 1: mixes reggaetne, Dutch house, and it's usually between one hundred
[29:18] Speaker 1: and one hundred and ten bpm. Would you say, yeah,
[29:23] Speaker 1: if that record gets scratched, if that record I'm lost,
[29:26] Speaker 1: get sibilists, We're good. I got it you kind of.
[29:32] Speaker 1: They remind me of the guy from Smash Bath a
[29:33] Speaker 1: little bit. Do you get that a lot?
[29:35] Speaker 2: No, that just died.
[29:37] Speaker 1: No, you remind me of that guy. Maybe I'm a
[29:40] Speaker 1: I like that guy incarnation of him?
[29:42] Speaker 2: Maybe? Yeah?
[29:43] Speaker 1: Just were you born in the same year he died?
[29:45] Speaker 1: Do you feel like last night I got reborn? After sex?
[29:48] Speaker 1: So and your dad became an alternative medicine doctor. Yeah right,
[29:52] Speaker 1: he's by the way, was was an alternate medicine doctor
[29:55] Speaker 1: before I was. Wait, what else did you do besides
[29:57] Speaker 1: really macu function?
[29:58] Speaker 2: Yeah?
[29:59] Speaker 1: Is that what got him into giving herbal medicine? Is
[30:02] Speaker 1: that what got him into having you? Having you having kids? No? No, no,
[30:06] Speaker 1: I was, I was. I was a hot tub baby,
[30:10] Speaker 1: were you? Yeah? It was a water bird. It was
[30:13] Speaker 1: a water bird. No, no, no, I mean like they
[30:15] Speaker 1: were having sex in a hot and I survived. So
[30:18] Speaker 1: your parents are freaking. Yeah, they're freaks. Do they still
[30:21] Speaker 1: have sex? Probably? They've been for like thirty nine years.
[30:27] Speaker 1: You really did they ever open up their relationship like
[30:30] Speaker 1: a polycule kind of?
[30:31] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[30:32] Speaker 6: They might have sounded like they did that one night
[30:34] Speaker 6: in the hot time they das You never get that, no,
[30:42] Speaker 6: cause you remind.
[30:43] Speaker 1: Me of Yeah, I gotta see a little bit. Okay,
[30:46] Speaker 1: I can see that we may be related. Guy and
[30:50] Speaker 1: he's a cool dude. Guy and guy, and let me
[30:52] Speaker 1: see the smash mouth dude a point phone figure. Hey,
[31:01] Speaker 1: we were in trolls, we were I didn't you even
[31:04] Speaker 1: tell me that? Yeah, you didn't tell me that either. Hey,
[31:06] Speaker 1: this info would have been great to have. Uh, we
[31:09] Speaker 1: were in trolls together. Ago I saw it. I saw
[31:12] Speaker 1: it nine times in the theater. I didn't I wasn't
[31:14] Speaker 1: in it. You weren't in it. No, I just sit
[31:16] Speaker 1: over here. There was a typo on your platinum record
[31:18] Speaker 1: for get Low. Yeah, what's up with that? That's the
[31:23] Speaker 1: question for the r i A. They sent it over
[31:25] Speaker 1: and it said certificate. It said certificate showing certificate chowing.
[31:32] Speaker 1: First plaque I ever got, oh congress, Hey, so like
[31:34] Speaker 1: it was the actual plaque was on the little things,
[31:38] Speaker 1: like you had a platinum record. Yeah, that's big, and
[31:40] Speaker 1: it said certificate chowing instead of certification. What is platinum
[31:43] Speaker 1: five hundred K? I don't know now, I don't know.
[31:47] Speaker 1: You also remind me of Violent J from Insane Clown Bossy.
[31:51] Speaker 1: You're kind of like the three of those guys mixed together.
[31:53] Speaker 2: What the is that?
[31:55] Speaker 1: How I sounds horrible mixed with Violent Jay and mixed singer?
[32:02] Speaker 1: What's what's his what's his name? Johnny? He doesn't like you.
[32:07] Speaker 1: I don't tell. I don't think you wanted to text
[32:10] Speaker 1: him about absolute. You never got any of those guys.
[32:14] Speaker 1: Come on, no, I gotoki really the Benny Hannah guy's son.
[32:22] Speaker 1: I really heard that. Yes, and his sister is in
[32:25] Speaker 1: Fast and than Furious. Yes, power family. That's a power family.
[32:30] Speaker 1: That's Jackson And I was like and even watching. Okay,
[32:34] Speaker 1: well that's that's again. That's the question he asked everybody
[32:38] Speaker 1: at the end. That's amazing that no confirm it. Yeah,
[32:41] Speaker 1: he doesn't believe it every time they're lying. Now, well
[32:45] Speaker 1: he needs to hear it constantly weekly. You kind of
[32:47] Speaker 1: look like Vin Diesel. I get Vin Diesel and who else?
[32:51] Speaker 1: Sandra Bernhardt? Sandra Bernhardt? You know that is that the
[32:55] Speaker 1: Vendra Banhart no wife friend label, Andrew Burnhart and who else?
[33:04] Speaker 1: And like a little bit, I mean a little bit
[33:07] Speaker 1: of Jeff Ross. Yeah, I can see Jeff Ross. You know,
[33:09] Speaker 1: when I shaved my head, I look like Jeff. Yeah,
[33:11] Speaker 1: I can see that. It looked like Jeff. But I
[33:14] Speaker 1: just lost twenty five pounds, So I don't know. You
[33:15] Speaker 1: look good, Tommy looks good. You do not look good.
[33:20] Speaker 1: You kind of look yeah a little nick.
[33:23] Speaker 2: Are you not jumping?
[33:23] Speaker 1: Well, I'm doing everything. I'm like a pin cushion. At
[33:26] Speaker 1: the end of you will go v o zempic in
[33:29] Speaker 1: one way, Yeah, yeah, John, Yeah, Sam Yeah, goop dot com,
[33:39] Speaker 1: you goop dot net. He's eating the vagina channels TV.
[33:47] Speaker 2: With aericdre with aericdre.
[33:59] Speaker 1: One time in Normals, I put uh an opiate up
[34:02] Speaker 1: my butt and I saw New Orleans. Yeah yeah and someone.
[34:08] Speaker 1: They were all were like, you're not gonna do it.
[34:09] Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I will. I'm a DJ, goddamn it. Yeah,
[34:12] Speaker 1: and then I yeah, and we saw I think I
[34:15] Speaker 1: saw Quentin Tarantino. Is what happened. The story is gonna
[34:21] Speaker 1: be like, that's what over happened. I think I saw
[34:24] Speaker 1: Quentin Tarantino, and then I didn't like him that much.
[34:26] Speaker 1: I didn't like it that much. No, me neither. I
[34:28] Speaker 1: was super stony, blooney, not social and just like there
[34:33] Speaker 1: and me and Carl watched Nagga Gun one two and
[34:37] Speaker 1: think like nine hours uh man were thinking, I get it,
[34:49] Speaker 1: that's what they wanted to do, but they didn't even
[34:51] Speaker 1: have the technology yet. They big cushion. That reminds me
[34:55] Speaker 1: of when I did acid. One time, I put on
[35:00] Speaker 1: what's the movie like something Cleopatra foxing.
[35:05] Speaker 2: Movie?
[35:06] Speaker 1: No, oh my god, I forgot there is a movie
[35:11] Speaker 1: called Cleopatra. It might be Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor. No, no, no,
[35:16] Speaker 1: who's the girl from Spider Man? Oh, Devin Yoki? No,
[35:20] Speaker 1: she's from past and Furious Emma Stone. No, I quit
[35:26] Speaker 1: take that out? Does anyone know who who was in? It?
[35:34] Speaker 1: Was like the first Spider Man every podcast Kreson Dunce.
[35:38] Speaker 1: She and that's called Cleopatra? Is it called just Cleopatra,
[35:42] Speaker 1: called Cleopatra's cat, it's called part No. I don't know.
[35:48] Speaker 1: That's where the moon's coming in that. I don't know what.
[35:52] Speaker 1: Maybe I dreamed it to the producer because he's been
[35:56] Speaker 1: lying the whole time. Dads name, I don't even have parents, DJ.
[36:01] Speaker 1: Did your dad go to med school? Dude, I don't
[36:03] Speaker 1: have a dad. He just went to He just went
[36:05] Speaker 1: to g n C and he goes, I'll figure it out.
[36:07] Speaker 1: Give me the ging go below bo pack of needles.
[36:10] Speaker 1: Please exactly give me a pack of needles and your
[36:13] Speaker 1: best gingk go below, bore a start experiment on my kids.
[36:18] Speaker 1: They're hog tied at the dog gates and an earthquake
[36:22] Speaker 1: to come and I get feel it in my bones. Yeah,
[36:28] Speaker 1: oh man, that's ow the ben Did you ever get
[36:30] Speaker 1: did you ever go to Benny Hona's I've been to
[36:32] Speaker 1: BENNI I love Benny Hon. I would go there every
[36:34] Speaker 1: year for my never in a bad mood of Benny. Honest. No,
[36:38] Speaker 1: I met Jennifer love Hewett there. Get the fuck out
[36:40] Speaker 1: of it. I was like seven, and I gave her
[36:41] Speaker 1: my number and for me way dream. I think it's
[36:46] Speaker 1: illegal as well. You're allowed to wait. She just turned sixty.
[36:50] Speaker 1: She did it? Yeah, No, I don't know. No, she didn't.
[36:58] Speaker 1: You want to you want to feel me confirm her
[37:00] Speaker 1: to not want to feel really old? Ristome eighty. I
[37:05] Speaker 1: don't believe anything that's coming out of your mouth anymore.
[37:09] Speaker 1: Jennifer Love Hewitt is nine. Honey booboo child grew up
[37:12] Speaker 1: and got smoking. She's gorgeous and smartest. F Jennifer Love
[37:20] Speaker 1: Hewes is forty six years old. What that's a different one.
[37:25] Speaker 1: That's just forty six. That's a different one. Sixty working
[37:28] Speaker 1: asshole told me when she's sixty nine.
[37:32] Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
[37:34] Speaker 1: Honey booboo Child's she's a genius. Now that makes sense.
[37:39] Speaker 1: You play this at your next concert, yes, pace, Will
[37:42] Speaker 1: you play that? Can you show the camera? This is
[37:45] Speaker 1: a how High to the Moon by? Please play you
[37:48] Speaker 1: just put it in the computer at your next concert. Yeah,
[37:51] Speaker 1: I got it. Morgan Lewis and Nancy Hamilton. Yeah, it's
[37:57] Speaker 1: an f mind you know to see it now. But
[38:01] Speaker 1: where do you live now? You're still in l A. Yeah,
[38:04] Speaker 1: well part of town. I'm over in West Holly. Want
[38:06] Speaker 1: specific address? Uh, you know you're gonna buy a house?
[38:12] Speaker 1: What are you gonna settle down? Marry this girl? She's nice,
[38:15] Speaker 1: You get a house. But next thing I know, you're
[38:18] Speaker 1: in upstate New York. You're putting opium of your button
[38:20] Speaker 1: being a fucking cuckaa manga. Yeah, I don't know. Is
[38:24] Speaker 1: she cool with all that? No? I don't want to push.
[38:26] Speaker 1: I don't want to push. She's cool with all that.
[38:28] Speaker 1: You're going with the flow. You been with her. I'm
[38:30] Speaker 1: going with her for three years. I'll get one with you.
[38:33] Speaker 1: I'm getting snipped. Let's do it. I'm done, all right.
[38:35] Speaker 1: Our friends are all getting them. We're snipping. It's like
[38:38] Speaker 1: a fucking hop, like throwing ropes. You can actually get
[38:43] Speaker 1: a lot of research into it, and you can, Yeah,
[38:44] Speaker 1: you can get But there also is the version where
[38:47] Speaker 1: you don't then nothing comes out. There's another version. Yeah,
[38:50] Speaker 1: there's another version. Where it's just that's like tantricout what
[38:56] Speaker 1: I got going on? Now that's what you got, and
[39:00] Speaker 1: then your month's all offt.
[39:03] Speaker 2: Is that?
[39:04] Speaker 1: What? Is that a side effect? You just can't throw
[39:07] Speaker 1: a rope anymore. I'm trippy, dude, Are you Are you
[39:09] Speaker 1: actually gonna go and get a sectivity?
[39:11] Speaker 2: Yes?
[39:11] Speaker 1: All right? Cool. I consulted with a doctor in Pasadena
[39:14] Speaker 1: and I'm prime candidate prime And you started some sperm?
[39:21] Speaker 2: Did you not? I did?
[39:22] Speaker 1: And I didn't just so I went to the sperm bank?
[39:25] Speaker 1: Did I share those? Yeah? You did? I How was
[39:28] Speaker 1: I gonna praise my sperm? It's so bably awkward? I
[39:32] Speaker 1: bet I get there and I'm like, I'm gonna have
[39:34] Speaker 1: to fucking jerk off at the doctor's office. And I
[39:37] Speaker 1: was like, but whatever, they're used to it.
[39:40] Speaker 2: It's it's fine.
[39:41] Speaker 1: So they s They're like, sir, wait for for me
[39:43] Speaker 1: to be out of the room. They're like, not in
[39:45] Speaker 1: the lobby, sir, please sign. I thought this was a space,
[39:50] Speaker 1: so we went to I go into this little room
[39:53] Speaker 1: and they have a little TV and a USB thumb
[39:55] Speaker 1: drive in it, and like instruction. The guy didn't really
[39:58] Speaker 1: tell me anything. He just gave me a little cup.
[39:59] Speaker 1: He's just in this. I'm like, okay, no, he told
[40:01] Speaker 1: me about sperm, but he didn't tell me like about
[40:03] Speaker 1: the little room. So you go in the little room.
[40:05] Speaker 1: Here's a cup. What did you tell you about sperm?
[40:06] Speaker 1: He told me about like everything when you freeze and
[40:09] Speaker 1: unfreeze him? How much? Like there's thirty nine million sperm
[40:13] Speaker 1: cells and one load typically, and like all you need
[40:16] Speaker 1: is one one functional sperm cell, one guy. How much
[40:23] Speaker 1: is like a big load? How much is a small load?
[40:25] Speaker 1: How much sperm per load? He told me, Like all
[40:27] Speaker 1: these stats, what goes into freezing them unfreezing them? If
[40:30] Speaker 1: I wanted to donate, I was like, I don't want
[40:32] Speaker 1: to donate. Well, if you love your job, you never
[40:34] Speaker 1: work a day in your life. Yeah, that's true. You
[40:37] Speaker 1: only hate mondays if you hate your job. Brother, Hey,
[40:41] Speaker 1: well I got you. Can I tell you a little
[40:42] Speaker 1: bit about sperm?
[40:43] Speaker 2: Wait?
[40:43] Speaker 1: So how was it? So I go in this little
[40:45] Speaker 1: room and there's a flat screen TV, like a little
[40:48] Speaker 1: flat screen and instructions and I'm like, oh, there is
[40:51] Speaker 1: like porn here. There's like he didn't mention that in
[40:54] Speaker 1: the fucking sperm Ted doc. But there is porn and
[40:57] Speaker 1: so I'm like, look at it. It's like presentive and
[41:00] Speaker 1: and right before you leave, I go, these remotes are clean, right,
[41:03] Speaker 1: like they've been cleaned. He goes, we clean them every ever.
[41:05] Speaker 1: They're clean every every month, every year, we clean every year,
[41:08] Speaker 1: we clean them. Clease on Christmas Day, that's when we do. So.
[41:15] Speaker 1: So okay, okay, this is I go. I turned on.
[41:17] Speaker 1: You know. At first, I'm like, I'm like, oh no,
[41:20] Speaker 1: HDM I A V one. I've been like technical problems.
[41:23] Speaker 1: Then I get it going and I can't.
[41:26] Speaker 2: I don't.
[41:26] Speaker 1: I'm not gonna. I can't say this at work, but
[41:28] Speaker 1: I'll show you the pictures of it's like the nineties,
[41:34] Speaker 1: like nineties and early two thousands, like video vixen, maximum
[41:38] Speaker 1: highlight porn. And I'm like just sending pictures to my bro.
[41:41] Speaker 1: I'm not even drinking off. I was like, I'm like
[41:43] Speaker 1: ten years old. I'm like, and then I jizzed in
[41:50] Speaker 1: a little cup. But then he came out.
[41:52] Speaker 5: He told me, and he goes, you just too little.
[41:55] Speaker 2: I think you knew it because I think you.
[41:58] Speaker 5: Jerked off to too little. No, he goes, he too
[42:01] Speaker 5: let but he goes, I think you're jerked off too recently.
[42:05] Speaker 5: He goes, you ejaculated to recently and your and he goes,
[42:10] Speaker 5: when did you ejaculate before you came here?
[42:12] Speaker 1: And I went, I jerked off that morning. I forgot.
[42:18] Speaker 1: I forgot. I forgot. I was doing the part of
[42:22] Speaker 1: my routine. He's like, oh, no, you gotta save up, man,
[42:27] Speaker 1: And I was like, I know, I know, you gotta
[42:29] Speaker 1: save up.
[42:30] Speaker 4: But in the shower, and you just come over in
[42:36] Speaker 4: the morning with the little cup you gotta catch, I
[42:42] Speaker 4: won't even think about it, and that will happen again.
[42:44] Speaker 2: You won't even be there.
[42:47] Speaker 1: I'll pretend you're not there. Pretty, you gotta keep shuirt
[42:52] Speaker 1: on it. Can I take this out of my pants? Yeah,
[42:55] Speaker 1: you don't have to do that. Thanks, Yeah, you don't
[42:57] Speaker 1: have to commit to sit. We can't even see it. Wait,
[43:00] Speaker 1: going back there, you're gonna go back and get Yeah,
[43:01] Speaker 1: I gotta go back freeze my sperm. Then once he
[43:05] Speaker 1: re checks my sperm, make sure I have viable donors
[43:08] Speaker 1: if I ever wanted kids, then I'm gonna get It's
[43:11] Speaker 1: all right. I'm fucking opening my life to you. I
[43:15] Speaker 1: ruined his mixtape somebody that prop. Yeah, this is prop comedy.
[43:23] Speaker 1: I didn't realize this was a Carrot Top show. Yeah, birthday,
[43:28] Speaker 1: and he was fucking hilarious, and he writes it. He
[43:31] Speaker 1: makes sure he writes one new joke every day, so
[43:33] Speaker 1: it's like the set constantly changes, and he performs every night,
[43:37] Speaker 1: damn constantly. It's like a night it's it's on a
[43:41] Speaker 1: new hour every day. That'd be impossible, but it's like
[43:45] Speaker 1: just at least a few new minutes, constantly shifting. So
[43:49] Speaker 1: it's just like he never figured it out where he
[43:52] Speaker 1: never gets sick of Yeah, that's not getting sick and
[43:55] Speaker 1: he can still innovate. And he was really he was
[43:57] Speaker 1: a super nice backs. I love my Carrot Top apologist. Okay,
[44:03] Speaker 1: you're Karen Maxing guy fear. That was the peak. That
[44:06] Speaker 1: was Yeah, that's when we peaked. And then when I
[44:10] Speaker 1: started talking about Benny Hahnaes, that's when it dipped. Got there, Yeah,
[44:14] Speaker 1: but then you brought it back up with Devendra Banhart's wife. Oh,
[44:17] Speaker 1: Sandra Banard, I end up there we get it yet,
[44:19] Speaker 1: yeah Banhart plug something. Yeah, you're coming up. I got
[44:25] Speaker 1: this new project that I'm doing called Sorry My Love,
[44:27] Speaker 1: which is like a pop punk project. You can't talk
[44:30] Speaker 1: about it related. It's really good. Now we can't do featuring.
[44:36] Speaker 1: I'm still plugging right now. It's featuring water parks. You'd
[44:39] Speaker 1: love it. You like lugging. This is my fitbit. Check
[44:43] Speaker 1: out the stepside got dude, this is a real fitbit.
[44:46] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it has been charging years. Holy ship. It
[44:49] Speaker 1: doesn't work. So you're high school reunion and you're like
[44:53] Speaker 1: the king of the town. Actually, our high school reunion
[44:56] Speaker 1: didn't happen because many people didn't want to go. There
[45:01] Speaker 1: was a facebook. Man, I'm having a rough kind of
[45:03] Speaker 1: couples for it. I don't know, it'd be nice to
[45:06] Speaker 1: just talk to the old gang. I felt really bad.
[45:09] Speaker 1: They had one group and then they were like, hey,
[45:11] Speaker 1: since not enough people are talking in this, we're gonna
[45:13] Speaker 1: make a smaller group. They made the smaller group and
[45:15] Speaker 1: then said they were like, hey, sadly, not enough people
[45:17] Speaker 1: want to go to this, so we can't do it.
[45:19] Speaker 1: Did you go to your high school? I went to Yeah,
[45:21] Speaker 1: I went to my money. This is your bombing story. Now,
[45:24] Speaker 1: well I found out that like a lot of my
[45:26] Speaker 1: Oh that's me, I got fuck, I can see it.
[45:31] Speaker 1: Oh that's not me. Oh I thought it was. I
[45:36] Speaker 1: get it. You know, what I don't like the the
[45:39] Speaker 1: smash mouthed guy. Oh that is no, just so when
[45:44] Speaker 1: his hair is okay, now it feels meaner. Yeah, no,
[45:52] Speaker 1: it feels mean. It's like you'd say it. I like that. No, no, no, no,
[45:58] Speaker 1: that's too mean. That's too mean. Put up Guy Fiery.
[46:00] Speaker 1: This guy is a mess. Guy Fiery and him kind
[46:04] Speaker 1: of look similar. So now I get it. I think
[46:06] Speaker 1: they're all one in the same. I met Guy Fieri
[46:09] Speaker 1: at the at the All Star Game, the NBA Al
[46:11] Speaker 1: Star Game, the fucking best, the best, the best, Ye love. Yeah,
[46:17] Speaker 1: we're gonna watch me at the sperm Bank. Oh sick.
[46:21] Speaker 1: So you got a pop punk thing going. I got
[46:24] Speaker 1: a pop punk project coming out. It's called Sorry My
[46:28] Speaker 1: Love with my friend Albert Hype, and the first single
[46:31] Speaker 1: just came out. It's doing amazing. So yeah, it's been
[46:34] Speaker 1: really fun. Anything else you wanted to talk about before
[46:36] Speaker 1: we leave? You say all your bombings show? Yeah I did.
[46:39] Speaker 1: I mean I probably have more. Where we're gonna start
[46:42] Speaker 1: watching this Disney show. We have to sign up. Hey,
[46:47] Speaker 1: what's your password? That's his nines. I got a couple
[46:54] Speaker 1: of scenes like that's Eric Guilty. We're getting you in
[47:01] Speaker 1: a music video. I would love to you said that before.
[47:03] Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get my hopes up. I'm trying to
[47:05] Speaker 1: think of it. If there's any other bombing stories that
[47:07] Speaker 1: I've that I had, I thought I was only supposed
[47:10] Speaker 1: to think of one. Yeah, one thing to talk about
[47:13] Speaker 1: that crazy. This podcast is five hours. This is the
[47:18] Speaker 1: first act. I got okay, yeah, what's the second act?
[47:21] Speaker 1: What do we talk about next? We're talking about Nicole
[47:23] Speaker 1: and how you really feel about it? God, Nicole, I
[47:26] Speaker 1: love you. Don't listen to these people, Dude, don't funk
[47:28] Speaker 1: that up. I'm not don't fuck that up. I won't.
[47:32] Speaker 1: I probably hope you don't tell her how you really
[47:34] Speaker 1: feel right now. You're You're lucky, Nicole. You're the best
[47:37] Speaker 1: thing that's ever happened.
[47:37] Speaker 2: Man. I love you. Good.
[47:39] Speaker 1: Let's see, we'll put it this out next Valentin's Day,
[47:43] Speaker 1: that's whurber. That's actually her birthday is February thirteenth. That's tough.
[47:47] Speaker 1: Oh Friday the thirteenth. Yeah, she's like, you got you're
[47:58] Speaker 1: going to cut your be up in your Sleep's fine,
[48:01] Speaker 1: I'm ready to just end it. Yeah, yeah, that makes
[48:05] Speaker 1: sense if that's my phasectomy. Yeah, that is the whole
[48:09] Speaker 1: thing just coming off, you know, in China, and they
[48:13] Speaker 1: would the eunuchs testicles and penis. Yeah, yeah, they turned
[48:18] Speaker 1: into the angels from Dogma. Wow, that's bombing with everybody.
[48:26] Speaker 2: Let him hear with Adre.
[48:32] Speaker 1: All right, listen up, we got something special for you.
[48:35] Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about
[48:37] Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your
[48:40] Speaker 1: chance to tell me all about it.
[48:42] Speaker 2: Mabe.
[48:43] Speaker 1: I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy What
[48:46] Speaker 1: the fuck was I thinking? What just happened moment? So
[48:49] Speaker 1: pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing.
[48:53] Speaker 1: That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
[48:56] Speaker 1: four and leave me a voice bail and we might
[48:59] Speaker 1: just play it on a future. Your episode, Bombing with
[49:01] Speaker 1: Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big
[49:03] Speaker 1: Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is
[49:06] Speaker 1: Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant
[49:10] Speaker 1: is David Carliner. Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris,
[49:13] Speaker 1: and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us
[49:15] Speaker 1: five stars and drop a review on your podcast app
[49:18] Speaker 1: a choice

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