# BONUS: Tender Touch + Doggie Duties w/ Dulce Sloan

An episode of [Bombing with Eric Andre](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1700594299), 29 May 2024, 4:39.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/7443be8e-6758-4131-bd17-b04a00ee1705/eb95c459-3c6e-4cf0-94a5-b0910068ffd1/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=3dc328b2-90a9-4cb4-8c17-b04a00ee9da0

This is a bonus clip of my conversation with Dulce Sloan. Eric and Dulce talk about men being dangerous and annoying, plus why German Shepherds are very dumb. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:03] Speaker 1: With every contry.
[0:06] Speaker 2: What's very interesting is like just in my life, the
[0:10] Speaker 2: number of times of like hooked up with dudes or
[0:12] Speaker 2: something and they'll just completely skip my midsection, like just
[0:15] Speaker 2: won't touch my whole.
[0:17] Speaker 1: Mom what won't do? It fucked up? Yeah, it's fucked up.
[0:21] Speaker 2: But so the first time I hooked up with this
[0:24] Speaker 2: dude who used to just grab.
[0:25] Speaker 1: Me anywhere, I was like, how do you feel about that? Listen,
[0:28] Speaker 1: you're doing too much.
[0:29] Speaker 3: Oh so you need a sweet spot.
[0:31] Speaker 2: And it need a sweet spot because he was like
[0:32] Speaker 2: he would just grab a whole handful of I'm like, so.
[0:36] Speaker 3: You don't like that either.
[0:37] Speaker 1: What you want?
[0:38] Speaker 3: You're giving us mixed messages. Here, you're giving the fellas
[0:41] Speaker 3: mixed messages.
[0:42] Speaker 2: Don't grab a handful of my back, don't do that.
[0:45] Speaker 2: But I know it's given a little b hot situation.
[0:47] Speaker 1: I get.
[0:47] Speaker 3: Do you want like a tender touch, a tender not
[0:50] Speaker 3: a grab and a pull like your silly putty right,
[0:52] Speaker 3: so you'd be like what.
[0:53] Speaker 2: It was so interesting about him is that he would
[0:56] Speaker 2: like pinch and squeeze me so like my cheeks, my face,
[0:59] Speaker 2: like any and I was.
[1:00] Speaker 1: Like, what is this? He's like, You're just so cute. Yeah,
[1:04] Speaker 1: men are annoying.
[1:05] Speaker 3: Men are annoying, and it's very much.
[1:07] Speaker 1: The we have to make sure that you're good so
[1:09] Speaker 1: you don't murder us.
[1:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, men are dangerous. Men are dangerous and annoying. Yes,
[1:15] Speaker 3: just the it's like the same that you.
[1:19] Speaker 1: It's a dog. With us, you have to.
[1:23] Speaker 3: Go through so much bullet you have to climb a mountain.
[1:25] Speaker 1: It's a dog.
[1:27] Speaker 2: It's like having like a big dog, like it's a
[1:30] Speaker 2: German shepherd, can kill you.
[1:32] Speaker 3: Sometimes they're cute.
[1:34] Speaker 1: All of these dogs can kill you.
[1:37] Speaker 2: Which I don't say why people want cat people because
[1:39] Speaker 2: it's like there's no canine cats.
[1:42] Speaker 1: But I'll tell you that there's a cat.
[1:43] Speaker 3: This is why I'm not a cat person. Cats don't
[1:45] Speaker 3: show you the same belove as a dog.
[1:46] Speaker 2: I can tell you that was that cat. Because my cats,
[1:50] Speaker 2: because they have this thing on Instagram. It's like, I
[1:51] Speaker 2: don't know what you're doing and to make these cats
[1:52] Speaker 2: hate you, but these is mad there.
[1:55] Speaker 3: I don't think a cat has ever liked me, and
[1:57] Speaker 3: I can tell they know I don't like them, and
[1:59] Speaker 3: I walk in the room and I just I know
[2:02] Speaker 3: I haven't known.
[2:03] Speaker 1: And that's how I feel about my mama's dog. Why
[2:07] Speaker 1: her brother.
[2:07] Speaker 2: Passed away, my uncle and thank you, And he had
[2:12] Speaker 2: a German Shepherd, but since he's country and black, the
[2:14] Speaker 2: dog lived outside because of your country and black. You
[2:17] Speaker 2: hear dog and you think outside regardless of the weather.
[2:23] Speaker 2: And so he passed away. His girlfriend couldn't take care
[2:26] Speaker 2: of it. And so now my mother has this dog
[2:30] Speaker 2: who she is trying to get into the movies but
[2:32] Speaker 2: also wants to breed.
[2:34] Speaker 1: And I was like, you have to make a choice.
[2:36] Speaker 1: If you're gonna put this dog in the movies, you
[2:38] Speaker 1: have to get the dog fixed. And she refuses to
[2:42] Speaker 1: believe me.
[2:43] Speaker 3: Wait, she wanted to be like an acting dog, like yeah,
[2:47] Speaker 3: that's a cool goal like that.
[2:49] Speaker 1: People say it's a pretty dog. I don't know. I
[2:51] Speaker 1: think it's a civil rights dog. I have no opinion.
[2:57] Speaker 3: I'm gonna bite a.
[2:58] Speaker 2: German Shepherd is a fucking go canine units they got
[3:05] Speaker 2: golden retrievers.
[3:06] Speaker 1: My mother's dog is uh. He likes like shoes.
[3:12] Speaker 2: So much that if you're wearing them, he'll like move
[3:17] Speaker 2: your feet. But like he got to my like, I'm
[3:20] Speaker 2: afraid of dogs because white people have sick dogs on me. No, yes,
[3:25] Speaker 2: so like but people get so they're like, you don't
[3:28] Speaker 2: like dogs, Like we don't like dogs. But if you
[3:29] Speaker 2: say if you're afraid of dogs, everyone goes, oh, okay.
[3:34] Speaker 2: If you just don't like dogs, people can't accept it.
[3:36] Speaker 3: That's fair.
[3:38] Speaker 2: But so when I got to this, when I started
[3:39] Speaker 2: working at Daily Show, there were dogs in the office.
[3:43] Speaker 2: Why it's white folks, And it was this is white dude,
[3:50] Speaker 2: one of the directors, This white dude from North Carolina,
[3:53] Speaker 2: and he is the only white man who I've ever
[3:55] Speaker 2: met who was Black people not on board like the
[3:58] Speaker 2: way he was describing He's like, these dogs need to
[4:01] Speaker 2: be outside. Like he very much went into Uncle Mo.
[4:05] Speaker 2: That's why he was out, okay with these dogs being
[4:07] Speaker 2: at work, Like why bring it dog to work? If
[4:09] Speaker 2: you bring a dog to work, you don't need the dog.
[4:11] Speaker 2: I was like, what the heck, thank you, you're very
[4:13] Speaker 2: I understand what you're saying. But so I get to
[4:16] Speaker 2: work and there's and they're not little giant they're like
[4:20] Speaker 2: it's the fucking just big, the ones that weigh as
[4:24] Speaker 2: much as children, just walking around loose like velociraptors.
[4:29] Speaker 1: I'm like, with a condre

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