# The Girlfriends: Spotlight, E14: Visaka Sparks a Ceasefire

An episode of [The Girlfriends: Flight or Fight](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1695875823), 16 Feb 2026, 35 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/c2c81cb2-988e-4194-8382-b02e011bf37a/51f03117-4749-4895-a71e-b3e101279bdf/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=289822ba-519c-4151-be1f-b02e011e1914

When Visaka Dharmadasa’s soldier son was kidnapped by the fearsome Tamil Tigers in the midst of Sri Lanka’s bitter civil war, she couldn’t find anyone who could help find him - or the 608 other soldiers who had been taken the same night. So Visaka transformed herself, first into a fighter against the bureaucracy of the Sri Lankan government and the Red Cross, and then into a fearsome peace activist. Defying warnings, she crosses into Tamil Tiger territory and sits down with some of the terrorist group’s most notorious leaders, appealing to their humanity as a mother. And eventually, they listen. The Girlfriends: Spotlight is produced by Novel for iHeartPodcasts. For more from Novel visit Novel.Audio See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:02] Speaker 1: Novel.
[0:07] Speaker 2: It's just before dawn on the front lines of Sri
[0:09] Speaker 2: Lanka's brutal civil war. For Socca huddles in a military
[0:14] Speaker 2: bunker with six other mothers.
[0:19] Speaker 3: But heating one what do you call a makeshift bed
[0:22] Speaker 3: of a military officer. It was all sticks tied together.
[0:28] Speaker 4: They're waiting for first night, the military doll dawn.
[0:33] Speaker 3: Go now, because any mistaken they're going to shoot till
[0:39] Speaker 3: you can see.
[0:40] Speaker 2: Forsaka is about to do something most people think is
[0:43] Speaker 2: absolutely insane, walk across enemy lines to meet the Tamil Tigers.
[0:50] Speaker 2: They're the designated terrorist organization behind suicide bombings, kidnappings and
[0:55] Speaker 2: assassinations across the country.
[0:58] Speaker 3: At that dame, it was one of the most brutalous
[1:01] Speaker 3: walls in the world. They bombed Colombo, they bombed up
[1:05] Speaker 3: Central Bank, they bombed you know, several places in Colombo.
[1:10] Speaker 2: Early the next morning, Forsaka and the six other women
[1:13] Speaker 2: climb into their car and drive deep into the jungle
[1:17] Speaker 2: of northeastern Sri Lanka, right into enemy territory.
[1:21] Speaker 3: When we crossed to the other side, a vehicle was
[1:25] Speaker 3: welcomed by youngsters in civil clothes but t fifty six
[1:30] Speaker 3: guns on their back.
[1:32] Speaker 2: The seven women and their driver are escorted to a church.
[1:36] Speaker 3: The bishop have told very clearly nobody could come with
[1:40] Speaker 3: guns like two kilometers around. We were taken to a
[1:45] Speaker 3: big church compound there and given breakfast.
[1:50] Speaker 4: The room is brimming with tension.
[1:54] Speaker 3: There was one chair in the room and all others
[1:56] Speaker 3: were met.
[1:57] Speaker 2: Then Colonel Corina Raman arrives. He's said to be the
[2:01] Speaker 2: second in command of the Tamil Tigers. He's notorious for
[2:06] Speaker 2: his allegedly ruthless tactics.
[2:09] Speaker 3: We were sitting in the met and we told him
[2:11] Speaker 3: to see down on the chair. He said, no, no, no,
[2:14] Speaker 3: When you all are sitting on the ground, I'll sit
[2:17] Speaker 3: on the ground.
[2:18] Speaker 2: Face to face with a man accused of being a
[2:21] Speaker 2: leader of one of the world's most merciless terrorist organizations.
[2:26] Speaker 2: For soccer breaks the ice in a rather unexpected way.
[2:31] Speaker 3: That's the time that I told that we came to
[2:33] Speaker 3: see your claws and teeth, because everybody says that you're
[2:36] Speaker 3: a tigers, so we came to see your claws and teeth.
[2:40] Speaker 2: It's a very bold move, but it pays off.
[2:44] Speaker 3: He said it, laughing. We offered tea to him. Then
[2:48] Speaker 3: he said no, no, no, no, no, We're not going
[2:50] Speaker 3: to take tea from you all. So then we had
[2:53] Speaker 3: some sweet.
[2:56] Speaker 2: For Soaka reaches into her bag and pulls out some
[2:59] Speaker 2: Sri Lankan can sweets that are band from the Tamil territories.
[3:03] Speaker 2: Colonel Kruner Raman hasn't eaten them in years.
[3:08] Speaker 3: When he was eating the ass, do you have children
[3:10] Speaker 3: and these idious to girls? Are you remembering them? Manu
[3:14] Speaker 3: eating the suite, he's idious and he said, look, we
[3:17] Speaker 3: came to speak to you as mothers.
[3:25] Speaker 2: With that simple mother to father conversation, Basaka single handedly
[3:29] Speaker 2: opens a back channel for peace negotiations, one that will
[3:33] Speaker 2: eventually end a twenty six year long civil war. I'm
[3:44] Speaker 2: Anisinfield and from the teens at novel and iHeart Podcasts,
[3:49] Speaker 2: this is the Girlfriend's Spotlight, where we tell stories of
[3:53] Speaker 2: women women.
[4:09] Speaker 4: Today. Thesaka sparks a ceasefire.
[4:18] Speaker 2: Theisaka met the Tamil Tigers in nineteen ninety nine, and
[4:22] Speaker 2: by that point Sri Lanka had been trapped in one
[4:25] Speaker 2: of the world's most violent civil wars for more than
[4:28] Speaker 2: a decade. It was a conflict drawn on ethnic lines.
[4:32] Speaker 2: The Sri Lankan government, based in the south of the
[4:34] Speaker 2: country was dominated by the Sinhalese majority and a group
[4:38] Speaker 2: known as the Liberation Tigers of Tamil e LAMB, often
[4:42] Speaker 2: known as the LTTE or the Tamil Tigers, were fighting
[4:45] Speaker 2: for an independent state for the Tamil minority in the
[4:49] Speaker 2: north of the country. Bisaka Damadasa lived in Kandy, a
[4:53] Speaker 2: beautiful lakeside city in the country's central hills, and right
[4:58] Speaker 2: there in the heart of Sri Lanka, it would be
[5:00] Speaker 2: easy to forget there was a war going on.
[5:03] Speaker 3: The war was actually fought within the north and east
[5:08] Speaker 3: of the country. Unless you watch the TV, you don't
[5:12] Speaker 3: know and you don't feel Otherwise, the relatively the war
[5:17] Speaker 3: is far away. If you didn't have any direct connections,
[5:21] Speaker 3: then you don't feel it. So when the population don't
[5:24] Speaker 3: feel it, there is also no cry to really finish it.
[5:29] Speaker 2: But for Soaka did feel the war very early on.
[5:33] Speaker 2: Her two eldest sons joined the military.
[5:35] Speaker 3: It was difficult. I mean, I was worried that they
[5:39] Speaker 3: will join the non state actors and that would have
[5:42] Speaker 3: been really, really different. So I was happy when they
[5:44] Speaker 3: wanted to join the military.
[5:47] Speaker 2: The army wasn't necessarily what she had hoped for. Her
[5:49] Speaker 2: sons but it was better than ending up in a
[5:52] Speaker 2: terrorist group. But for Soaka had always been anti war.
[5:56] Speaker 3: That's the time that I got together with a couple
[5:59] Speaker 3: of women in Candy and established this particular organization but
[6:04] Speaker 3: we call the Candy Association for Boy Affected Families.
[6:09] Speaker 2: It was a grassroots organization which advocated for an end
[6:13] Speaker 2: to the violence.
[6:15] Speaker 3: You know, all the women came together and we were
[6:18] Speaker 3: lighting lamps around the Candy Lake asking for blessings and
[6:22] Speaker 3: to stop the war.
[6:24] Speaker 2: Pisaka's eldest son was a colonel in the army, but
[6:27] Speaker 2: her younger son, Acina was training to go to the
[6:30] Speaker 2: front line.
[6:31] Speaker 3: He was the second in the family. I mean, he
[6:33] Speaker 3: was a child who was very much lovable, like everybody
[6:39] Speaker 3: likes him the whole village. The people like him because
[6:41] Speaker 3: he's very friendly with the people and he had lots
[6:44] Speaker 3: of lots of friends. So I mean, he's very outgoing.
[6:47] Speaker 3: He loved sports, and you know, he was one of
[6:50] Speaker 3: the most popular youth at that time in the village.
[6:56] Speaker 2: And then on the twenty seventh of September nineteen ninety seven,
[7:00] Speaker 2: everything changes for for Soca.
[7:03] Speaker 3: I mean the day that I say that the war
[7:05] Speaker 3: was at my doorstep.
[7:07] Speaker 2: She's at home making fish balls for a relatives memorial ceremony.
[7:11] Speaker 2: When something strange happens.
[7:14] Speaker 3: We had a dog, the name was Snoopy, and suddenly
[7:19] Speaker 3: he was shaking and collapsed because of the urgency. I
[7:25] Speaker 3: didn't even wash my hands with all that fish. I
[7:27] Speaker 3: told Snoopy, Snoopy, and then when I touched him, then
[7:30] Speaker 3: he slowly got.
[7:32] Speaker 4: Up, with Snoopy back on his feet.
[7:34] Speaker 2: Forsaka turns on the evening news the LTTE the Tamil
[7:38] Speaker 2: Tigers have attacked a military camp near were her son
[7:42] Speaker 2: a China stationed.
[7:44] Speaker 3: The news said that Paranthan camp was attacked by ALTT
[7:49] Speaker 3: and four have died. Though my son was in Kilinochi,
[7:53] Speaker 3: which is like maybe five six kilometer just this side
[7:56] Speaker 3: and a bigger camp. I was worried when I heard.
[7:59] Speaker 2: That something doesn't feel right. Fissarca calls her local temple
[8:04] Speaker 2: to ask for blessings for her son, and she keeps watching.
[8:08] Speaker 3: And then the news came that the Karinocci camp was attacked.
[8:13] Speaker 2: For soccer and her husband are in complete distress.
[8:17] Speaker 3: And then my husband was calling all the friends and
[8:21] Speaker 3: trying to see the hospitals whether he is in a
[8:24] Speaker 3: hospital so we tried our level best in every possible
[8:27] Speaker 3: way to get some news. There's a glimmer of hope
[8:31] Speaker 3: because we were told that he has come back to
[8:35] Speaker 3: the can.
[8:37] Speaker 2: But then Forska's eldest son, the colonel, walks into the
[8:40] Speaker 2: house in tears.
[8:42] Speaker 3: I said, why are you crying? Because they say that
[8:45] Speaker 3: your brother has come to the cam. Then he took
[8:47] Speaker 3: the phone and called someone and said, I want to
[8:50] Speaker 3: speak to my brother. Then only they said no, he
[8:53] Speaker 3: never came.
[8:54] Speaker 2: So did that feel like the first real moment you
[8:57] Speaker 2: found out he was missing?
[8:59] Speaker 3: Yeah? That was exactly.
[9:02] Speaker 2: Six hundred and nine soldiers are missing, including a Chinta
[9:06] Speaker 2: who is just twenty one years old, and no one
[9:09] Speaker 2: can tell Forsaca where he is, so she starts trying
[9:13] Speaker 2: to find answers for herself.
[9:16] Speaker 3: So the first thing is to go to the ICRD,
[9:18] Speaker 3: So that's what I did.
[9:20] Speaker 2: The ICRC is the International Committee of the Red Cross.
[9:24] Speaker 2: They're on the ground in Sri Lanka and they have connections.
[9:27] Speaker 2: Fisaca wants them to open a tracing request for a
[9:30] Speaker 2: Chinter's whereabouts, but.
[9:32] Speaker 3: The icy adds told me at that time they can't
[9:36] Speaker 3: open a tracing request because it's individual company. Okay, it's
[9:41] Speaker 3: not from the add so the Sri Lankan military have
[9:44] Speaker 3: to tail them.
[9:45] Speaker 2: Forsaca makes the sixty mile journey to the capital Colombo.
[9:49] Speaker 2: She's headed to the military headquarters to ask them to
[9:52] Speaker 2: open an official inquiry so the Red Cross can start
[9:55] Speaker 2: their search for the missing soldiers.
[9:57] Speaker 3: They of course were very kind, they released the but
[10:00] Speaker 3: then this then that's it's difficult for us because we
[10:04] Speaker 3: are fighting an active war. We'll have to have quart
[10:07] Speaker 3: of inquiries and all to inform ICRC officially. ICs also
[10:14] Speaker 3: told me that within six months, if a person is missing,
[10:17] Speaker 3: within six months, you have to report for bitter chances, it's.
[10:21] Speaker 4: A bureaucratic nightmare.
[10:23] Speaker 2: The Red Cross needs an official tracing request from the army,
[10:27] Speaker 2: but the army says they can't do that while they're
[10:29] Speaker 2: in active warfare. Time is ticking, so if Asaka begins
[10:33] Speaker 2: a new ritual, every single week, she travels four hours
[10:38] Speaker 2: between the military headquarters in the capital city of Colombo
[10:42] Speaker 2: and the Red Cross headquarters in her city of Candy,
[10:46] Speaker 2: trying to persuade one of these enormous institutions to relent
[10:50] Speaker 2: and help her find a chinta. She keeps trying for
[10:54] Speaker 2: three whole months.
[10:57] Speaker 3: Normally in our culture, but we need three months. We
[11:00] Speaker 3: have to do something religious ceremony. So I asked the military,
[11:03] Speaker 3: are you going to do a religious ceremony? There was
[11:05] Speaker 3: you know, like more than thousand killed and six hundred
[11:08] Speaker 3: and nine missing from that one battle. Then they told
[11:13] Speaker 3: that they're fighting above, which is understandable, and so it's
[11:17] Speaker 3: difficult for them to do anything.
[11:19] Speaker 2: Pisaka takes upon herself to organize the ceremony for a
[11:23] Speaker 2: China and the other killed and messing soldiers. The army
[11:27] Speaker 2: agrees to hand over the names and addresses of all
[11:30] Speaker 2: the families.
[11:31] Speaker 3: I invited all of them, wrote letters to all the
[11:34] Speaker 3: six hundred and nine families, asked them to come to
[11:37] Speaker 3: Candy and you know, let also meet there and one thing,
[11:43] Speaker 3: protest and ask the military to tell the ICRC. So
[11:47] Speaker 3: we all gathered the are together.
[11:49] Speaker 2: That must have felt quite powerful. What did it look like?
[11:52] Speaker 3: I mean, we were all crying together. I mean it's
[11:55] Speaker 3: really hopeful, very hopeful, but crying together.
[12:00] Speaker 2: It's a moment of shared grief, but it's also the
[12:03] Speaker 2: beginning of something more.
[12:06] Speaker 3: That's the time that we also established these parents of
[12:09] Speaker 3: servicemen missing in action, a very loose network. I typed
[12:14] Speaker 3: the ICRC address gave to the families and told go
[12:18] Speaker 3: and knock on their door, tell them that they have
[12:21] Speaker 3: to open tracing. And I told, definitely, let's really go
[12:25] Speaker 3: to the north to finer sons and daughters.
[12:28] Speaker 2: So they just were absolutely swarmed by families, like six
[12:32] Speaker 2: hundred and nine families.
[12:34] Speaker 3: Yeah. And also what we did was we had flowers,
[12:37] Speaker 3: you know, for this really that animenty. We went and
[12:39] Speaker 3: put the flowers into the river.
[12:41] Speaker 4: Together.
[12:42] Speaker 2: At the banks of a river which flows north into
[12:45] Speaker 2: the Tamil Tiger's territory, the grieving parents throw flowers into
[12:49] Speaker 2: the water. The flowers have the names of their missing
[12:52] Speaker 2: children written on them, along with messages of peace and love,
[12:57] Speaker 2: a Shrilank con version of the American hippie sticking a
[12:59] Speaker 2: flow and a soldier's rifle.
[13:02] Speaker 3: And then we had guess balloons with messages thinking the
[13:07] Speaker 3: wind will take it to the north, I mean asking
[13:10] Speaker 3: like the name of the Sun. And then again we
[13:13] Speaker 3: want to build a bach. We want, you know, for
[13:16] Speaker 3: you all to leave messages to the LGD.
[13:20] Speaker 2: Bisaca doesn't know whether anyone from the LTTE the Tamil
[13:23] Speaker 2: Tigers ever saw the flowers or the balloons, even if
[13:28] Speaker 2: they did soften a few hearts. Over in the north,
[13:31] Speaker 2: the two sides were still at war and Wassaka's son
[13:35] Speaker 2: was still missing. Besaca realizes that if she's going to
[13:41] Speaker 2: start a chance of finding a chinter, then she's going
[13:44] Speaker 2: to have to be a lot more direct. She's going
[13:47] Speaker 2: to have to cross enemy lines to see their claws
[13:51] Speaker 2: and their teeth. After the break, Besaka meets the tigers.
[14:24] Speaker 2: Visaga had tried working within the system. She had written
[14:28] Speaker 2: to the government, pleaded with the military, approached the Red Cross,
[14:33] Speaker 2: but the bureaucratic maze seemed designed to frustrate the grieving families.
[14:38] Speaker 2: She had only one option left to go and talk
[14:41] Speaker 2: to the Tamil tigers herself. I mean, how did you
[14:44] Speaker 2: get the idea in the first place of going to
[14:47] Speaker 2: meet the tigers?
[14:48] Speaker 3: I mean, where's to meat?
[14:52] Speaker 4: I guess it's that simple. Yeah, simple?
[14:58] Speaker 2: Maybe be first for Sarkanes's permission from the Secretary of
[15:02] Speaker 2: Defense to cross into Tiger territory.
[15:05] Speaker 3: I wrote to the government asking permission to cross, but
[15:08] Speaker 3: like always I was told that come. But then it's postponed,
[15:14] Speaker 3: and all I called the Defense secretaries home. His servant
[15:18] Speaker 3: told me that he's at the breakfast table. I said,
[15:20] Speaker 3: I want to speak now, and my tone I think
[15:23] Speaker 3: got him. The servant, I think ran and gave them
[15:28] Speaker 3: and I got the appointment. Of course. He told that
[15:31] Speaker 3: are you mad at something? You know whom you're going
[15:33] Speaker 3: to meet? Their tigers? Yeah, you're going there. They're murderers.
[15:38] Speaker 3: Are you going there? I said yes, I said, you are,
[15:41] Speaker 3: said my child, Now what about me? I'll go? So
[15:45] Speaker 3: I got it.
[15:46] Speaker 4: It is a very brave, you know, thing to do.
[15:49] Speaker 3: Yeah, and yeah, I mean going to the Jungles at
[15:53] Speaker 3: that time in itself is really really brave if you
[15:56] Speaker 3: think now they were fighting an active war.
[16:01] Speaker 2: With her permission letter from the Secretary of Defense in hand,
[16:04] Speaker 2: Besaka and six other mothers make their way to the
[16:07] Speaker 2: last government controlled town before Tiger Territory.
[16:11] Speaker 4: And then they need to arrange the actual meeting.
[16:14] Speaker 3: I wrote to the church, and then we wanted to
[16:16] Speaker 3: go and meet the bishop. Really really grateful to the
[16:19] Speaker 3: Catholic Church because the church really helped us. This is
[16:23] Speaker 3: a massive church which had a big compound where there
[16:26] Speaker 3: are places for people pillgrims to stay.
[16:29] Speaker 2: So the seven mothers and their twenty two year old
[16:32] Speaker 2: camel driver prepare for the journey.
[16:35] Speaker 3: At one thirty, I told them that we are crossing
[16:38] Speaker 3: the line. And then when we went to the line
[16:42] Speaker 3: to the border, the military toll don't go now because
[16:48] Speaker 3: any mistaken they're going to shoot, So don't do that.
[16:51] Speaker 3: Wait till you can see. Like I mean, we say manusata.
[16:55] Speaker 3: Manusa means when you see the other human being means
[16:58] Speaker 3: many it is clear enough to see each other.
[17:02] Speaker 2: And when the light comes, that's when Forsaka sits on
[17:06] Speaker 2: the floor of the church deep inside Tamil territory, with
[17:12] Speaker 2: the Tamil Tigers reputed second in command, Colonel Karuna Aman
[17:17] Speaker 2: sitting next to her, and she shares those suitees with
[17:20] Speaker 2: him and asks about his daughters. And over the next
[17:25] Speaker 2: five days, the two sides finally really see each other
[17:31] Speaker 2: as humans.
[17:33] Speaker 3: You can imagine at that time how much Opula was
[17:37] Speaker 3: and all of us.
[17:38] Speaker 2: Did you go in there thinking you were going to
[17:40] Speaker 2: get answers about your son's yes, specific, I mean.
[17:43] Speaker 3: We definitely would have thought that we were going to
[17:45] Speaker 3: bring them and come home. I mean that was always
[17:47] Speaker 3: the case, right even in your checkpoint when the military
[17:51] Speaker 3: check in the vehicle, always how many men? How many
[17:54] Speaker 3: coming back? I always used to say, look, I go
[17:57] Speaker 3: there to bring my son, he will be there, additional
[18:01] Speaker 3: person coming back.
[18:03] Speaker 2: As the mothers and the tigers talk, it becomes clear
[18:07] Speaker 2: just how true the old adage is there are no
[18:10] Speaker 2: winners in war. Both sides were exhausted, grieving and missing
[18:15] Speaker 2: their loved ones.
[18:17] Speaker 3: I mean, it really made a nice connection, and we said, look,
[18:21] Speaker 3: we came to speak to you as mothers. And then
[18:25] Speaker 3: of course he said that your army have killed other people.
[18:30] Speaker 3: These many are killed, and all the nice ideas. We
[18:33] Speaker 3: also can tell that your bomb killed and on. But
[18:37] Speaker 3: let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.
[18:41] Speaker 3: So that's exactly the beginning of talking to them.
[18:46] Speaker 2: When it's time to live, the Tamil tigers make sure
[18:49] Speaker 2: the mothers have a safe way out.
[18:51] Speaker 3: They took so much trouble even climb trees to get
[18:55] Speaker 3: signals to see whether it's clear for us to go safe.
[19:00] Speaker 3: Up to the extent, our mothers were holding his hands
[19:03] Speaker 3: and telling, you know, crying and telling, I mean they
[19:06] Speaker 3: felt really bad to leave him and come, and also
[19:08] Speaker 3: blessings for his life.
[19:10] Speaker 2: The seven mothers returned from Tiger territory without their sons.
[19:15] Speaker 2: I can imagine that long journey home was a heavy one,
[19:18] Speaker 2: but their efforts hadn't been for nothing. Kazarka's meeting with
[19:22] Speaker 2: Colonel Krouna Raman opened for the very first time a
[19:26] Speaker 2: back channel for direct negotiations with the LTTE, and she
[19:30] Speaker 2: had delivered a very important message.
[19:33] Speaker 3: And I had a green colored file which I gave
[19:39] Speaker 3: to the LTTE to give to their chief about like
[19:44] Speaker 3: the details and that we really wanted peace with justice
[19:48] Speaker 3: for all, so that later we gave to them that
[19:52] Speaker 3: we really wanted them to stop the word, to have
[19:55] Speaker 3: a cease fire.
[20:00] Speaker 2: Mother's aims are clear, end the violence, silence the guns
[20:05] Speaker 2: and find out where their children are. After the break
[20:11] Speaker 2: the Tigers won for SOCCA back.
[20:36] Speaker 1: I've you.
[20:45] Speaker 2: Word of Forsaka and the other Mother's unprecedented journey into
[20:49] Speaker 2: Tamil Tiger territory spreads quickly. A group of civilian women
[20:54] Speaker 2: had gone and met with the separatist group which had
[20:56] Speaker 2: been terrorizing the country.
[20:58] Speaker 3: And that was something that exactly gave me a huge
[21:03] Speaker 3: recognition within my country, within Colombo with the keys evil
[21:08] Speaker 3: society that I am very important in this old journey
[21:12] Speaker 3: of Esmail in the country.
[21:14] Speaker 2: And I mean, what messages did you bring back from
[21:17] Speaker 2: those meetings?
[21:18] Speaker 3: We went to the government and all the time, is right,
[21:21] Speaker 3: please for government to also to agree for dis ease?
[21:23] Speaker 3: Why it?
[21:24] Speaker 2: By this point there was utter exhaustion with the war.
[21:27] Speaker 2: Casualties were mounting on both sides and there appeared to
[21:31] Speaker 2: be no end in side. One million people in Sri
[21:34] Speaker 2: Lanka were internally displaced, living in camps, homeless and struggling
[21:38] Speaker 2: for survival. So Forsaka's trip kickstarted dialogue between the Tigers
[21:44] Speaker 2: and the government. Negotiations actually began, but for Soaka noticed
[21:49] Speaker 2: something very wrong. A crucial group was excluded from that process.
[21:55] Speaker 3: What is happening? Where are other women? We want to
[21:57] Speaker 3: work with women across anyway. We went a group of
[22:01] Speaker 3: women went to the north to really speak with women
[22:04] Speaker 3: and you know, other groups, to see how we could
[22:07] Speaker 3: really come together and you know, adds the issues.
[22:11] Speaker 2: Visaka believes the peace process needs women. So she does
[22:16] Speaker 2: what I'm sure we'd all do in that scenario. She
[22:19] Speaker 2: starts a national petition demanding that women are included in
[22:23] Speaker 2: the talks.
[22:24] Speaker 3: We collected six sixty thousand I think signatures. We spoke
[22:29] Speaker 3: to everyone, collected signatures went through the whole country and
[22:34] Speaker 3: then went and gave to the Norwegian side.
[22:36] Speaker 2: Norway, as a neutral third country, was tasked to facilitate
[22:40] Speaker 2: the peace negotiations, and Masaka wanted them to make sure
[22:44] Speaker 2: women were involved.
[22:46] Speaker 3: We went to the embassy and gave on a Saturday
[22:49] Speaker 3: the list of signatures to the Norwegian government and told
[22:53] Speaker 3: police come to firstly. Date were on the street going
[22:57] Speaker 3: to the Norwegian embassy. I can still remember, with banners
[23:00] Speaker 3: and all walking. Had downed the media again, but I
[23:05] Speaker 3: had a camera, but then I didn't have a batteries
[23:08] Speaker 3: for the camera. So I mean we were not thinking of,
[23:12] Speaker 3: you know, documenting why anything.
[23:14] Speaker 2: Did you think at all in that moment that you
[23:18] Speaker 2: were kind of making history, that you were doing something
[23:21] Speaker 2: really quite amazing.
[23:22] Speaker 3: Noine, frankly, no.
[23:26] Speaker 2: Masaka marched along the streets carrying signatures from both the
[23:29] Speaker 2: Sinhalese and Tamil communities. This was an extraordinary achievement considering
[23:35] Speaker 2: the logistical and security risks acrossing ethnic and territorial lines
[23:40] Speaker 2: during the war, and it paid off. The piece talk
[23:43] Speaker 2: started to include women and added gender issues to the agenda,
[23:48] Speaker 2: but Forsaka's involvement in the process wasn't over yet. One
[23:52] Speaker 2: day she gets a call.
[23:54] Speaker 3: It was a foreign number that I did this call
[23:58] Speaker 3: telling that they want me to come. Okay, they gave
[24:02] Speaker 3: me like maybe in twenty four hours. I had to go.
[24:07] Speaker 2: It's the Tamil Tigers. They want for soccer.
[24:10] Speaker 3: Back number one. I asked, how do I trust you?
[24:13] Speaker 3: How do I know who you are?
[24:15] Speaker 4: Wow?
[24:16] Speaker 3: When you're asking me to come to the jungles. Then
[24:19] Speaker 3: said that the green color file. Then I knew because
[24:23] Speaker 3: the green color file, I mean it was given to
[24:25] Speaker 3: their local leader to give to their chief.
[24:27] Speaker 2: It's the green colored file that she handed over. At
[24:30] Speaker 2: the end of her first meeting with the Tigers. The
[24:33] Speaker 2: Saka scrambles to get herself ready, heads to the bank
[24:36] Speaker 2: to get money, gets a driver. Within a matter of hours,
[24:40] Speaker 2: she finds herself in the back of a car making
[24:42] Speaker 2: the long journey back into the jungles of Tamil Tiger territory.
[24:47] Speaker 3: I mean there was no direct road. It took a
[24:49] Speaker 3: long long time for us to get there because the
[24:52] Speaker 3: roads were broken. All the culverts, the bridges were broken,
[24:55] Speaker 3: so the vehicle had to go down and go up again.
[24:59] Speaker 2: Were you worried something bad could happen to you that
[25:02] Speaker 2: it was a bit of a setup.
[25:03] Speaker 3: No, no, no, Initially I didn't know who was Quali. Yeah,
[25:08] Speaker 3: once I knew it was LTT, I didn't have to worry.
[25:10] Speaker 2: But Soarker isn't sure where the LTTE are taking her,
[25:14] Speaker 2: but she knows it's in the direction of Killeranocci. After
[25:17] Speaker 2: a full day of bumpy traveling, she arrives in the morning.
[25:21] Speaker 3: They gave us black pers I can still remember. They
[25:23] Speaker 3: gave us something tiny. So then they were having this
[25:28] Speaker 3: big meeting, but we said wanted to take a shower.
[25:31] Speaker 2: Income But Soaka is still not sure why the Tamil
[25:34] Speaker 2: Tigers want her there. Is it for some sort of meeting,
[25:38] Speaker 2: she wonders, But this wasn't a meeting. The Tamil Tigers
[25:43] Speaker 2: are holding a press conference for a big announcement, and
[25:46] Speaker 2: they went for soccer center stage, I.
[25:49] Speaker 3: Mean BB Gibon seats just in front. We were the
[25:53] Speaker 3: special guests. To tell you, very frankly, they waited. They
[25:56] Speaker 3: kept one and a half days, the journalists waiting, but
[26:02] Speaker 3: they really wanted me to be there.
[26:04] Speaker 2: As the press conference begins, Forsaka realizes this is something huge.
[26:09] Speaker 2: The Tunnel Tigers are announcing a release of civilian prisoners
[26:13] Speaker 2: and the biggest news of all, a ceasefire. The years
[26:17] Speaker 2: of painstaking negotiations have paid off. On February twenty second,
[26:22] Speaker 2: two thousand and two, the guns fall silent across Sri
[26:26] Speaker 2: Lanka for the first time since nineteen eighty three. There
[26:30] Speaker 2: are no morning reports of bombings, no evening news of
[26:34] Speaker 2: soldiers killed, no parents wondering if their children will make
[26:38] Speaker 2: at home. The checkpoints that have divided the country for
[26:42] Speaker 2: a generation stand empty. What was it like when the
[26:47] Speaker 2: ceasefire officially began.
[26:50] Speaker 3: It was so nice because we could go. We could
[26:53] Speaker 3: really cross by road, we could go. It was really
[26:57] Speaker 3: nice to see that the place. It was nice to
[26:59] Speaker 3: meet eat others.
[27:01] Speaker 2: Roads have been closed for years reopen. The main highway
[27:05] Speaker 2: connecting north and South sees its first civilian traffic in
[27:09] Speaker 2: more than ten years. After decades of being cut off
[27:14] Speaker 2: from each other, families can finally reunite. It's hard to
[27:18] Speaker 2: overstate what this means. Imagine if your country had been
[27:22] Speaker 2: split in two for your entire adult life, and suddenly
[27:26] Speaker 2: you could visit the other half. That's what the Sri
[27:28] Speaker 2: Lankan people experienced in those first weeks.
[27:31] Speaker 4: Of peace and Forasaka well.
[27:35] Speaker 3: I took two hundred mothers and fathers also mainly mothers
[27:39] Speaker 3: and sisters from the South from the missing soldiers' families
[27:44] Speaker 3: to meet the mothers of the North who also had
[27:48] Speaker 3: At that time, there was three hundred and fifty missing
[27:51] Speaker 3: from the north.
[27:52] Speaker 2: And what was it like meeting those mothers from the north.
[27:55] Speaker 3: It was really good for them to, you know, come
[27:58] Speaker 3: together and understand that it's not only you but also
[28:02] Speaker 3: from the other side. They were sharing the photographs, you know,
[28:06] Speaker 3: crying together. That also gives the strength and also a
[28:10] Speaker 3: lot of understanding.
[28:12] Speaker 2: I think there's something so powerful about seeing mothers from
[28:15] Speaker 2: both sides of a war grieving the same losses. It
[28:19] Speaker 2: just really points out how ridiculous the whole thing is.
[28:22] Speaker 3: When I took the mothers to the North, that's where
[28:25] Speaker 3: we thought that we need a shoulder to create and
[28:30] Speaker 3: that's where the Association of Woffected Women come in to
[28:34] Speaker 3: be bringing the women together across the evade anywhere in
[28:38] Speaker 3: the world.
[28:40] Speaker 2: The Sarcus Association of War Affected Women expands her work
[28:44] Speaker 2: beyond searching for the missing Sri Lankan soldiers. It's an
[28:48] Speaker 2: organization that actively pushes for women to be involved in
[28:51] Speaker 2: peace building processes and advocates for informal peace negotiations. The
[28:57] Speaker 2: Sarca's reputation for bridge building grows, and people from all
[29:01] Speaker 2: sorts of communities around the world begin to trust her.
[29:05] Speaker 2: But twenty seven years later, she is still waiting for
[29:08] Speaker 2: news of her son. The sandalwood soap he once requested
[29:12] Speaker 2: still sits unused in her bathroom, a symbol of hope
[29:17] Speaker 2: that refuses to fade.
[29:19] Speaker 3: I mean, even leg today, though it's twenty what nearly
[29:23] Speaker 3: twenty seven years, I'm still waiting for him. I'm still
[29:28] Speaker 3: thinking that maybe he's somewhere. The urge to know what
[29:33] Speaker 3: happened of a mother, I mean that's very very powerful, yeah,
[29:37] Speaker 3: really very powerful.
[29:39] Speaker 2: Today Versaka continues her peace building work, addressing the root
[29:44] Speaker 2: causes of conflict internationally. She connects with women peace builders
[29:48] Speaker 2: in conflict zones around the world, whether it's Russia and
[29:51] Speaker 2: Ukraine or Israel and Palestine, meeting face to face with
[29:56] Speaker 2: the people responsible for her son's disappearance. I find that
[30:01] Speaker 2: really interesting, because you know, you were all mothers going
[30:06] Speaker 2: in there who had suffered great losses because of this
[30:10] Speaker 2: war and because of the actions of that group, and
[30:13] Speaker 2: yet you're showing these people so much compassion when you
[30:18] Speaker 2: must have been pretty heartbroken that you didn't manage to
[30:20] Speaker 2: go in there and find your sons.
[30:22] Speaker 3: To tell you, very frankly, even now like today, if
[30:26] Speaker 3: you see my phone, there is this one of the
[30:30] Speaker 3: leaders who were in the checkpoint, I mean the checkpoint leader.
[30:34] Speaker 3: He texts me when every time I go to the north,
[30:37] Speaker 3: I take something. He has a child, now takes some
[30:41] Speaker 3: sweets for the child. He will give me something from
[30:43] Speaker 3: the area, and we are so happy to see that
[30:46] Speaker 3: he was alive.
[30:47] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[30:48] Speaker 3: Really, I mean, frankly, there is no personal enormosities. Really,
[30:53] Speaker 3: I mean, we wanted everybody to live. Really, I mean
[30:56] Speaker 3: that's exactly we wanted everybody to leave. I mean that's
[31:00] Speaker 3: why war anywhere, for whatever reason, is not going to
[31:06] Speaker 3: resolve anything. Or you know, nobody who win in.
[31:11] Speaker 4: A war, nobody.
[31:17] Speaker 2: When you see reports from war zones in the news,
[31:20] Speaker 2: the images that seem to go viral are always the
[31:22] Speaker 2: ones of children and mothers caught in the middle. They
[31:26] Speaker 2: make us pause because we all know intuitively that they
[31:29] Speaker 2: don't belong there. When Masaka walked boldly into Tamil, Tiger territory.
[31:36] Speaker 2: She showed the world that every soldier, every fighter, every
[31:41] Speaker 2: enemy is someone's child. Her weapon wasn't force, it was
[31:47] Speaker 2: trust and a mother's cool, collected wisdom. If you've enjoyed
[32:05] Speaker 2: this conversation, you can find loads more incredible women on
[32:09] Speaker 2: our feed. Do check them out, and please do spread
[32:12] Speaker 2: the word and tell your friends about us. We want
[32:14] Speaker 2: as many people as possible to be part of the
[32:16] Speaker 2: Girlfriend's Gang. Next time, on The Girlfriend's Spotlight, Jackie saves
[32:25] Speaker 2: a hostage.
[32:30] Speaker 5: I climbed through the window into her room where she
[32:33] Speaker 5: was chained to a bedstead, woke her up. Obviously she
[32:37] Speaker 5: was worried and I'm like, no, your mum sent me.
[32:39] Speaker 5: We will come back for you.
[32:46] Speaker 2: This season, we're supporting the charity Womankind Worldwide. They do
[32:50] Speaker 2: amazing work to help women's rights organizations and movements to
[32:54] Speaker 2: strengthen and grow. If you'd like to find out more
[32:57] Speaker 2: or donate to help them secure equal right for women
[33:00] Speaker 2: and girls across the globe, you can go to Womankind
[33:04] Speaker 2: dot org dot UK. The Girlfriend's Spotlight is produced by
[33:17] Speaker 2: Novel for iHeart Podcasts. For more from Novel, visit novel
[33:21] Speaker 2: dot Audio. The show is hosted by me Anasinfield. This
[33:25] Speaker 2: episode was written and produced by al Sheha Barney. Our
[33:29] Speaker 2: assistant producer is Lucy Karr. Our researcher is Seyana Yusuf.
[33:34] Speaker 2: The editor is Hannah Marshall. Max O'Brien and Craig Strachan
[33:38] Speaker 2: are executive producers. Production management from Joe Savage, Sharie Houston
[33:43] Speaker 2: and Charlotte Wolf.
[33:45] Speaker 4: Sound design, mixing and.
[33:46] Speaker 2: Scoring by Nicholas Alexander and Daniel Kempson. Music supervision by
[33:51] Speaker 2: Jako Taivich, Nicholas Alexander and Annasinfield. Original music composed by
[33:57] Speaker 2: Louisa Gerstein and Jemma Freeman. The series artwork was designed
[34:02] Speaker 2: by Christina Lemcour. Willard Foxton is creative director of Development.
[34:07] Speaker 2: Special thanks to Katrina Norvel, Carrie Lieberman, and Will Pearson
[34:11] Speaker 2: at iHeart Podcasts, as well as Carl Frankel and the
[34:15] Speaker 2: whole team at WM

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