# 12. The One You Really Love

An episode of [You Feeling This](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1692328508), 27 Jun 2023, 25 min.

Audio: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/5b24cd19-4653-4a02-8c2b-b003015016ca/3041fec1-7f46-4870-836d-b0140117e057/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=e4623a7f-6455-4767-adb6-b0030150f3d9

A steady relationship is tested when the ghost of a past relationship begins to haunt the couple. Writer & Director - Hannah Harris Green & Elyssa Dudley Cast: Kyla McCracken Kristina Lopez Ekeme Ekanem Creator & Showrunner - James Kim Executive Producer - Taylor Chicoine Editor & Producer - Cameron Kell Head of Post & Sound Designer - Diego Perez Sound Mixer - Daniel Martinez Photographer - Julian Park Score - Robert Garrova & Ryo Baum Artwork - Tony D’Amato Typography - Ben Tousley Interviewer - Shaneisha Martin Thank you to our sponsors at Sennheiser. You Feeling This is a production of iHeartRadio and Overtones Media. Find out more at http://www.youfeelingthis.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:01] Speaker 1: You feeling. This is our production of I Heart Ladio
[0:07] Speaker 1: and Overtones Media.
[0:15] Speaker 2: Okay, so something's going on with Carla and I want
[0:20] Speaker 2: to tell you, but you can't get weird about it.
[0:23] Speaker 3: Now, what makes you think i'd get weird. I'm not
[0:26] Speaker 3: gonna be jealous or anything or past that.
[0:29] Speaker 2: Seriously, Claire, I don't think you're gonna be jealous. I
[0:32] Speaker 2: just think you're gonna be what judgmental grace?
[0:38] Speaker 4: Are you saying?
[0:39] Speaker 3: You're not judgmental? Maybe, but it comes from a place
[0:44] Speaker 3: of caring.
[0:46] Speaker 2: Well, I can't remember if I told you this, but
[0:49] Speaker 2: I'm Carla's first girlfriend.
[0:52] Speaker 3: You definitely did not tell me that.
[0:55] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[0:55] Speaker 4: See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
[0:59] Speaker 2: And I thought I felt fine about it until this
[1:04] Speaker 2: thing happened the other day.
[1:06] Speaker 4: The other morning, we're like both getting ready for.
[1:08] Speaker 5: Work and.
[1:11] Speaker 6: Fuck Jesus, I'm sorry, but I'm so late. I'm just
[1:15] Speaker 6: gonna is it okay?
[1:19] Speaker 5: If I just go?
[1:22] Speaker 7: Sure?
[1:22] Speaker 8: Sure, that's fine.
[1:24] Speaker 6: Shit, there's glass everywhere too. I'm sorry, I'll grab the broom.
[1:28] Speaker 8: Sorry, no, you go, you go, I'll clean this up.
[1:32] Speaker 9: Don't worry, Okay, thanks, babe, I'm sorry. I just I
[1:35] Speaker 9: really gotta go, is it you.
[1:51] Speaker 7: So Carl thinks her dead ex boyfriend broke your flower jar?
[1:58] Speaker 4: Yeah? Basically?
[2:00] Speaker 7: Okay, Wow, you told me that she had a dead ex.
[2:06] Speaker 3: You didn't tell me that it was a guy. Why
[2:08] Speaker 3: does it matter?
[2:09] Speaker 4: Come on, Okay, maybe it matters a little, But.
[2:15] Speaker 2: I think the other thing that matters more, maybe is
[2:19] Speaker 2: he only died three months before we met.
[2:22] Speaker 3: What Why would you not tell me that?
[2:25] Speaker 4: Because I really liked.
[2:26] Speaker 5: Her and I knew you'd think it was weird.
[2:28] Speaker 7: Everything makes so much sense now, Like what like the
[2:33] Speaker 7: time she left the party crying, I thought she was
[2:35] Speaker 7: having like a bad trip or something. Oh yeah, and
[2:40] Speaker 7: how she never wants to talk to me. I thought
[2:42] Speaker 7: she was just intimidated because I'm so sexy and we
[2:46] Speaker 7: used to be together. Okay, be serious, but.
[2:54] Speaker 2: Yeah, she really doesn't talk to people much these days.
[2:58] Speaker 3: How do you deal with that?
[3:00] Speaker 7: Weren't you scared that she wouldn't be ready to take
[3:03] Speaker 7: a jump into something new?
[3:05] Speaker 3: I mean, y'all lived together.
[3:08] Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
[3:10] Speaker 5: I mean I.
[3:11] Speaker 4: Didn't think about it like that. She just needed someone
[3:16] Speaker 4: and I wanted to be that someone.
[3:19] Speaker 2: And now I feel like I'm in way too deep
[3:23] Speaker 2: with someone who is stuck in the past, thinking about
[3:27] Speaker 2: this guy that she was supposed to get married to
[3:29] Speaker 2: and like have babies with.
[3:33] Speaker 3: That's a lot, but she seems like she's worth it
[3:37] Speaker 3: to you.
[3:39] Speaker 2: She is, But now things are getting weird, like she
[3:45] Speaker 2: wants to try and contact his ghost or something, and
[3:49] Speaker 2: I feel like I have to go along with it.
[3:52] Speaker 3: But like a full on seance.
[3:54] Speaker 4: Yeah, Luigi board and everything.
[3:58] Speaker 3: It's creepy, But like, how do I say?
[4:01] Speaker 6: No, Hey, babe, you all set up in there?
[4:16] Speaker 10: Yeah?
[4:17] Speaker 8: Does this look right to you?
[4:20] Speaker 5: Uh?
[4:22] Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks like the movies.
[4:25] Speaker 4: The other one who knows how Ouiji boards work?
[4:27] Speaker 8: It's pretty simple.
[4:28] Speaker 10: Sit down here, okay, and then we both place our
[4:34] Speaker 10: hands on the plan chet the planchette, Yes, that's what
[4:39] Speaker 10: it's called.
[4:40] Speaker 3: And then we say hello. Wait do I say hello?
[4:48] Speaker 8: I don't know. Maybe he wants to talk to you too.
[4:51] Speaker 1: Uh.
[4:52] Speaker 4: I think you have to introduce us at least.
[4:55] Speaker 8: Then all right, Kareem are you there?
[5:03] Speaker 5: Are you moving it?
[5:05] Speaker 10: No, that just means it's working. Now put your hands back.
[5:07] Speaker 10: You need two people for it to work. Okay, all right,
[5:17] Speaker 10: Kareem are you there?
[5:20] Speaker 9: Yes?
[5:21] Speaker 10: Oh my god, he says, yes, what are you okay, Kareem, Yes, yes,
[5:30] Speaker 10: have you been watching me? He's hesitating. Are you comfortable
[5:40] Speaker 10: with Grace being here?
[5:42] Speaker 8: What he says?
[5:46] Speaker 10: Yes, Look, Kareem, I know I've kept things from you.
[5:54] Speaker 10: Are you angry with me? It's not moving? Why are
[6:01] Speaker 10: you looking at me like that? I just I don't
[6:04] Speaker 10: know if this was the right thing to do.
[6:07] Speaker 5: Listen.
[6:08] Speaker 2: I really want to help you and be supportive, but
[6:13] Speaker 2: some of this is a little hard to hear.
[6:15] Speaker 10: It's just my one chance to talk to him again,
[6:18] Speaker 10: and I don't even know if it's real.
[6:21] Speaker 2: When you asked if he's mad at you, do you
[6:25] Speaker 2: mean like because you're with me, because you're queer?
[6:30] Speaker 8: No? No, I just meant that you're not looking at me.
[6:33] Speaker 11: No.
[6:35] Speaker 8: I just met being with someone else. This soon, right,
[6:39] Speaker 8: But I mean, I.
[6:44] Speaker 4: Can't believe I'm letting all this get me worked up.
[6:46] Speaker 3: What do you mean all this?
[6:48] Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
[6:49] Speaker 11: No?
[6:50] Speaker 8: Please tell me.
[6:52] Speaker 2: For gray sake, Carlos, we're having a seance with Luigi
[6:55] Speaker 2: board in our living room so that we.
[6:57] Speaker 4: Can what talk to your ex boyfriend and see if
[6:59] Speaker 4: we have his a pro or not. I thought you
[7:01] Speaker 4: were sure about me.
[7:02] Speaker 8: This isn't about you.
[7:04] Speaker 2: It is when you're literally asking him questions about me.
[7:08] Speaker 8: You know what, Fuck this, it was a bad idea.
[7:13] Speaker 5: What I should have known.
[7:14] Speaker 8: You couldn't handle it.
[7:16] Speaker 4: Okay, that's not fair.
[7:18] Speaker 8: I can't talk about this right now.
[7:21] Speaker 10: I love you, but I'm going to my mom's Carla, Carla.
[7:29] Speaker 8: I'll talk to you tomorrow.
[7:32] Speaker 12: Okay, babe, check it out.
[7:46] Speaker 8: Check what a.
[7:49] Speaker 4: We've got a night vision camera.
[7:52] Speaker 2: An electronic voice phenomena reader, and an EMF reader, which
[7:58] Speaker 2: is it reads election tromagnetic fields or like disturbances in them,
[8:04] Speaker 2: which means a paranormal presence.
[8:10] Speaker 10: Look, I can't tell if you're being real with me,
[8:14] Speaker 10: and I just think we should stop talking about this stuff.
[8:16] Speaker 2: No, No, I'm not making fun, I swear. I mean,
[8:22] Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I did a bunch of research and this
[8:25] Speaker 2: stuff is actually pretty interesting.
[8:27] Speaker 8: Seriously, okay, I.
[8:31] Speaker 4: Mean, I don't know what happens after we die.
[8:35] Speaker 2: You know, who's to say that our consciousness doesn't hang
[8:38] Speaker 2: around on Earth for a little while, or like become
[8:42] Speaker 2: a tree or a bird.
[8:46] Speaker 10: I feel like you're talking about a serious subject. Like
[8:48] Speaker 10: it's not serious.
[8:49] Speaker 4: No, No, I.
[8:52] Speaker 10: Think people stay on Earth as ghosts if they have
[8:54] Speaker 10: something they need to resolve, maybe because they died too young.
[9:00] Speaker 4: Okay, that sounds like something you got from a movie.
[9:02] Speaker 5: Well, it just makes sense, like the movie Ghost.
[9:06] Speaker 8: Okay.
[9:06] Speaker 10: I can tell you're actually uncomfortable with this, and art
[9:10] Speaker 10: is based on life.
[9:11] Speaker 8: By the way, all.
[9:12] Speaker 4: Right, maybe I am uncomfortable, but this stuff is heavy.
[9:17] Speaker 8: You're right, it is.
[9:20] Speaker 3: But you knew I was going through this and you
[9:23] Speaker 3: chose to be with.
[9:24] Speaker 11: Me, babe, of course I did.
[9:27] Speaker 10: This is all very real to me, and I'm afraid
[9:31] Speaker 10: you're just trying to turn it into.
[9:32] Speaker 11: A joke with all this stuff.
[9:36] Speaker 2: Honestly, No, you're right. I don't always say the right thing,
[9:43] Speaker 2: but this matters to you. So we are going to
[9:48] Speaker 2: see what Kareem has.
[9:49] Speaker 4: To say to us.
[9:51] Speaker 10: Okay, Okay, let's give it a try.
[10:11] Speaker 6: So we're just gonna leave it all running. Yeah, that's
[10:15] Speaker 6: the idea.
[10:16] Speaker 3: We just let it go all night.
[10:18] Speaker 4: And then there's this app that sinks up with all
[10:20] Speaker 4: my phone.
[10:21] Speaker 2: So if there are weird noises or electromagnetic disturbances, well no,
[10:31] Speaker 2: it's probably just gonna be you talking in your sleep or.
[10:34] Speaker 8: Are you farting?
[10:52] Speaker 5: What the fuck?
[10:57] Speaker 8: Carla?
[10:58] Speaker 3: Are you up?
[11:00] Speaker 4: Come out here?
[11:03] Speaker 1: Good?
[11:03] Speaker 8: Morning.
[11:05] Speaker 4: You're up early, Carla.
[11:12] Speaker 5: Listen to this.
[11:16] Speaker 8: What am I supposed to be hearing?
[11:18] Speaker 2: Okay, this is just the living room, nothing going on
[11:21] Speaker 2: at three twenty three am.
[11:24] Speaker 8: And then oh my god.
[11:27] Speaker 4: Wait no, I think that's just the picture on my desk.
[11:29] Speaker 2: It's always falling over and look, that's how it was
[11:33] Speaker 2: when I got up this morning.
[11:35] Speaker 5: But keep listening.
[11:56] Speaker 8: What the fuck?
[11:59] Speaker 4: Something or someone said my name.
[12:05] Speaker 8: I'm sorry, this is I need to be alone. I
[12:08] Speaker 8: think this is a lot for me too.
[12:10] Speaker 10: You know, I don't think you want to hear what's
[12:13] Speaker 10: happening in my head right now.
[12:15] Speaker 8: I do, I really do talk to me.
[12:19] Speaker 10: After he died, I thought the person I was was
[12:23] Speaker 10: gone forever and that I would only feel lost. And
[12:30] Speaker 10: then I met you, and you cut through all of that.
[12:36] Speaker 10: You brought me back, and it made me feel so guilty.
[12:43] Speaker 10: I wasn't supposed to love anyone else, but the way
[12:48] Speaker 10: I felt at the moment he left, I think it's
[12:51] Speaker 10: always going to be there.
[12:53] Speaker 8: It's not like we.
[12:53] Speaker 10: Both get to live and evolve and heal. And I
[12:58] Speaker 10: was hoping I could find a way to get that
[12:59] Speaker 10: permision from him.
[13:01] Speaker 3: To move on.
[13:06] Speaker 5: All right.
[13:06] Speaker 3: Listen, Okay, I'm listening.
[13:12] Speaker 4: And it's from the ghost recording thing.
[13:16] Speaker 13: Okay, you heard it right, something saying my name.
[13:23] Speaker 3: I'm sorry, it's not sounding like much to me.
[13:26] Speaker 4: I think maybe the file compressed an extented to my phone.
[13:28] Speaker 4: I'm gonna get my laptop out.
[13:29] Speaker 3: Hey, uh, Grace, can we take a second?
[13:34] Speaker 7: Are you all right?
[13:37] Speaker 8: I'm fine.
[13:38] Speaker 4: It's Carl what I'm worried about.
[13:40] Speaker 7: You're just not seeming like yourself right now, and I'm
[13:44] Speaker 7: worried about you. Are you sure recording ghosts is gonna
[13:48] Speaker 7: fix whatever's going on.
[13:49] Speaker 5: Between you two? I don't know.
[13:56] Speaker 4: She just feels like she's missing something.
[14:00] Speaker 2: And it was there when I met her, this void,
[14:05] Speaker 2: and I was drawn to it. I wasn't even thinking
[14:08] Speaker 2: except if I could just make this girl smile, it
[14:11] Speaker 2: would be everything. And I took a long time. I
[14:18] Speaker 2: was patient, and somehow I just knew it would be
[14:23] Speaker 2: worth it.
[14:27] Speaker 4: But now she's saying that.
[14:32] Speaker 2: She thinks her feelings for him won't ever change because
[14:37] Speaker 2: he won't have the chance to evolve away from her,
[14:41] Speaker 2: and so she won't have that chance either.
[14:46] Speaker 4: Something like that.
[14:49] Speaker 3: That kind of makes sense.
[14:51] Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's a lot to deal with.
[14:56] Speaker 3: She deals with me still being around all the time.
[14:59] Speaker 3: I mean, you post no threat.
[15:02] Speaker 2: Okay, wow, I mean I just we were together so
[15:06] Speaker 2: long ago, we were different people then.
[15:09] Speaker 3: But you still love me, don't you. I mean, of course,
[15:13] Speaker 3: so she can still love him.
[15:14] Speaker 7: Too, but not the same way she loves you anymore.
[15:19] Speaker 3: Like obviously she just can't.
[15:38] Speaker 8: Are you there?
[15:42] Speaker 10: Kareem, Kareem, Kareem, it's me. I know you think this
[15:51] Speaker 10: is tacky. Actually, I have no idea what you think
[15:55] Speaker 10: about death. Why didn't we ever talk about that?
[16:02] Speaker 11: We should have.
[16:06] Speaker 8: I should have told you that I had liked women too.
[16:10] Speaker 8: I felt so guilty about it. I was always trying
[16:15] Speaker 8: to read your mind, wondering what you met when you.
[16:18] Speaker 10: Left at certain parts of movies, but I was just
[16:23] Speaker 10: too afraid to ask.
[16:26] Speaker 8: Sometimes I would almost say something.
[16:29] Speaker 10: Sometimes i'd almost come out to you, but then I
[16:33] Speaker 10: think we'll get to that another day.
[16:35] Speaker 8: We have so much time.
[16:39] Speaker 10: I feel like you're trying to reach out to me,
[16:44] Speaker 10: And if that's true, I'm really.
[16:47] Speaker 11: Trying to hear you.
[16:51] Speaker 8: I really miss you.
[16:53] Speaker 1: You know.
[16:55] Speaker 3: It's not.
[16:58] Speaker 10: Everyone knows I miss you, and they're so concerned about
[17:02] Speaker 10: me all the time, but they think it's mentioning you,
[17:06] Speaker 10: or like talking about the funeral.
[17:08] Speaker 5: That makes me.
[17:09] Speaker 10: Sad, but that stuff doesn't bother me. You were already gone.
[17:15] Speaker 10: Then It's just that sometimes I forget cream, Like I'll
[17:27] Speaker 10: be watching TV and I'll just turn to you to
[17:30] Speaker 10: say something because I think I can.
[17:35] Speaker 8: And sometimes I swear to God, I.
[17:38] Speaker 10: Walk in the front door and I expect to see
[17:41] Speaker 10: you sitting right here on the couch.
[17:49] Speaker 8: I should move, I really fucking should.
[17:54] Speaker 2: I know.
[17:54] Speaker 10: Grace is right about that. She's right about most things.
[18:02] Speaker 10: You know, kind of like you. Actually it's annoying, but
[18:10] Speaker 10: she makes me feel safe. You'd like her, Kareem, I
[18:19] Speaker 10: really think you would.
[18:33] Speaker 4: Oh my god, Jesus, Hi, you scared this shit out
[18:39] Speaker 4: of me.
[18:41] Speaker 2: Why because it's bayarly nine pm and you're in bed and.
[18:47] Speaker 8: You said you had to work late.
[18:49] Speaker 10: I did, but I kind of figured happy hour wouldn't
[18:53] Speaker 10: go that long.
[18:54] Speaker 4: Well, you're right. Claire still refuses to pay a full
[18:58] Speaker 4: price for drinks at Chippito.
[19:00] Speaker 8: And yet she owns a two bedroom house in Silver Lake.
[19:05] Speaker 4: I know it's so obnoxious, but none of this explains
[19:10] Speaker 4: why you are in bed before midnight.
[19:13] Speaker 8: I was just feeling kind of wiped.
[19:17] Speaker 4: Wait, what's going on?
[19:19] Speaker 8: Have you been crying? I mean yes, but it was
[19:24] Speaker 8: a good cry? Really? Are you sure positive?
[19:30] Speaker 11: Here?
[19:31] Speaker 8: Spoon me?
[19:33] Speaker 2: Okay, I will, but hold that thought because I'm not
[19:39] Speaker 2: actually ready for bed yet.
[19:40] Speaker 10: Grandma, Okay, leave the light on. I'm just gonna read
[19:44] Speaker 10: until you're back.
[19:45] Speaker 13: Okay, Grace, you really don't have to do that.
[19:57] Speaker 8: Let's just forget it. Okay, I don't.
[20:00] Speaker 6: Mind at all. It takes like two seconds.
[20:04] Speaker 10: No, but.
[20:07] Speaker 8: I'm not just saying it for you. I don't care anymore.
[20:12] Speaker 3: Okay, what happened?
[20:15] Speaker 4: Something happened while I was out.
[20:17] Speaker 10: No, seriously, I've just had some time to think and
[20:21] Speaker 10: it was probably all in my head.
[20:25] Speaker 2: Okay, but we both heard what was on the recording, Carla,
[20:30] Speaker 2: are you saying that wasn't real?
[20:34] Speaker 10: I think we heard something real and we wanted to
[20:38] Speaker 10: explain what was going on, and that's how we explained it.
[20:44] Speaker 5: I heard what I heard.
[20:46] Speaker 11: I know.
[20:49] Speaker 2: Okay, let's just listen again and no, okay, fine, I'm sorry.
[20:58] Speaker 10: We can listen in the morning if you want. You
[21:00] Speaker 10: can run all the ghost hunting stuff. I don't care,
[21:03] Speaker 10: but can we just go to bed.
[21:05] Speaker 8: I don't want to think about this stuff.
[21:06] Speaker 11: Right now.
[21:09] Speaker 4: Okay, Yes, I'm sorry.
[21:13] Speaker 6: Let's just go to bed.
[21:14] Speaker 3: Thank you, baby, You'll be so well rested, you'll thank me.
[21:47] Speaker 8: Grace, wake up.
[21:50] Speaker 10: Carla, Chrace, get up, come on, let's go.
[21:55] Speaker 6: Is it him? Is it him?
[21:57] Speaker 8: Grace?
[21:58] Speaker 7: What?
[21:58] Speaker 11: No?
[21:58] Speaker 5: Get up, get under the table, Come on, can't.
[22:04] Speaker 6: Tell me your grace?
[22:06] Speaker 4: Is it him?
[22:07] Speaker 5: Is it Kareem?
[22:08] Speaker 7: What? No?
[22:09] Speaker 6: Grace?
[22:10] Speaker 3: Please please be in reality right now. It's a fucking earthquake.
[22:42] Speaker 8: Hey. I was really scared last day.
[22:48] Speaker 5: Me too.
[22:49] Speaker 2: For a minute there, I really did think it was Kareem.
[22:53] Speaker 2: But then I was worried you'd think he was sending
[22:55] Speaker 2: you a message to stay away from me.
[22:59] Speaker 10: I never thought that even for a second, Grace. I
[23:04] Speaker 10: was thinking, this is the big one and we're all
[23:06] Speaker 10: gonna die.
[23:08] Speaker 2: Well, you have more experience than I do in that department.
[23:11] Speaker 2: The ground doesn't like randomly just move under your feet
[23:14] Speaker 2: in Wisconsin.
[23:17] Speaker 10: Honestly, though, all I was thinking was I can't lose
[23:21] Speaker 10: you too.
[23:23] Speaker 11: You were Yeah, that's kind of nice to hear.
[23:27] Speaker 8: You don't think I worry about that.
[23:30] Speaker 10: You don't think I worry about the way we met
[23:33] Speaker 10: that you'll want someone without all this baggage.
[23:37] Speaker 4: Goud I never thought about it like that.
[23:41] Speaker 8: We're such a caring person. You can be really self absorbed.
[23:48] Speaker 8: But I feel like everything I'm worried about it didn't
[23:52] Speaker 8: come from him. It came from me. What do you
[23:57] Speaker 8: mean if he's watching us?
[24:00] Speaker 11: Yes, he can only be happy.
[24:22] Speaker 14: The One You Really Love was written and directed by
[24:24] Speaker 14: Me Melissa Dudley and me Hannah Harris Green, featuring Christina Lopezz,
[24:29] Speaker 14: Carla Kyla mccrack and Is Grace and a Kemi Akanams Claire.
[24:35] Speaker 3: The editor and producer is Cameron Kel. On set sound
[24:38] Speaker 3: mixer is Daniel Martinez.
[24:40] Speaker 14: Sound designer and head of post production is Diego Perez.
[24:43] Speaker 14: Creator and showrunner is James Kim. On set photographer is
[24:47] Speaker 14: Julian Park. Score by Robert Garova and Ryobaum You Feeling.
[24:54] Speaker 2: This is a production of iHeartRadio and Overtones Media.
[24:58] Speaker 10: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, check out the iHeartRadio app,
[25:01] Speaker 10: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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