# Body Count with Jasmin "Watch Jazzy" Brown

An episode of [Keep it Positive, Sweetie](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1689495115), 13 Jun 2023, 1 h 24 min.

Audio: https://pdrl.fm/1504e6/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/44f61442-7ba4-4250-b406-b35901038504/833a16e7-2804-4611-a178-b3590115beaf/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=2cfaa2b1-0f12-4656-aec3-b3590103850e

Season 1 Episode 3 | Let's talk about SEX, baby -- cause some of us want a freak in the morning and a freak in the evening 👀 Ladies, is it just me, or are you also tired of how society shames you for your body count, or how men oftentimes use it against you? I mean let's be real, most of our thoughts and mindset around sex are just plain-old antiquated, in my opinion. Sit on my couch for a conversation with my girl, the hilarious -- and also my whole arch nemesis on Sistas and ZATIMA, Jasmin "Watch Jazzy" Brown, for a conversation about all things S-E-X. I mean we're talking losing our virginities, hoe phases and hoe-tations, slut shaming, and more! Follow Jasmin: https://www.instagram.com/watchjazzy/ Follow KIPS: https://www.instagram.com/keepitpositivesweetie/ KIPS is produced and executive produced by Dinorah Peña, co-produced by Chanel Gross. Audio and visual by Kvle. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:09] Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie.
[0:12] Speaker 2: Today we are talking about Now this is a s
[0:15] Speaker 2: It's just subject to some people body counts. That's right.
[0:21] Speaker 1: And when I think about body count I think of
[0:23] Speaker 1: the song as by Dinner Howard, and it goes, I
[0:27] Speaker 1: want a freak in the morning, a freaking the eve.
[0:29] Speaker 2: Remember that just like me, I need a rough nut
[0:33] Speaker 2: brother that can satisfy me, just for me. If you
[0:37] Speaker 2: are that kind of man, then I'm that kind of girl.
[0:41] Speaker 2: I got a.
[0:42] Speaker 3: Freaking secret, everybody's saying because we don't have a dab
[0:45] Speaker 3: about a.
[0:45] Speaker 2: Thing so good.
[0:54] Speaker 1: And today I have with me one of my favorite people,
[0:57] Speaker 1: somebody that I get the pleasure to work with.
[1:00] Speaker 2: I have always admired.
[1:01] Speaker 1: Your work, ethic, your skills, and I'm just so happy
[1:05] Speaker 1: to see where your career is taking you. The incredible
[1:08] Speaker 1: Jazz and Brown aka watch Jazzy, which is millions of
[1:11] Speaker 1: you know her as Toya turn Up and who I
[1:15] Speaker 1: recently have known her as Dejah my arch nemesis.
[1:18] Speaker 2: Oh my god, my cheeks hurt.
[1:23] Speaker 1: Smiling, That's how I feel when I'm working with you,
[1:25] Speaker 1: because I'm.
[1:26] Speaker 2: Like, she keeps me laughing. No, we really know.
[1:29] Speaker 1: Literally, I can't get through a scene and Taller gets
[1:31] Speaker 1: so bad.
[1:31] Speaker 3: He's like Crystal focused because you know, were only doing
[1:33] Speaker 3: it in one day, one taken with me and you,
[1:36] Speaker 3: it's not fine.
[1:37] Speaker 2: I'm like, I.
[1:42] Speaker 1: Can't even get you out of Like before I start
[1:44] Speaker 1: walking up to you, I'm like, do not laugh because
[1:47] Speaker 1: you are so funny.
[1:49] Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm so proud you.
[1:51] Speaker 2: You're my idol. You always. I know.
[1:53] Speaker 3: I posted a real and there was like a clip
[1:55] Speaker 3: of me talking to someone and I'm like, she's my idol.
[1:57] Speaker 2: You can read my lips. I'm like, she's my idol. Yeah,
[2:00] Speaker 2: you really are.
[2:01] Speaker 3: I'll be looking like how is Crystal gonna stunt on
[2:02] Speaker 3: my life today?
[2:03] Speaker 2: And I'm just eating it up. I'm like, yes, because
[2:06] Speaker 2: you just you're doing it yourself. Yeah. Well, I mean
[2:09] Speaker 2: I have a lot of amazing people behind me. I do. Oh,
[2:12] Speaker 2: I'm sure.
[2:13] Speaker 3: However, when I say you're doing it by yourself, you're
[2:15] Speaker 3: not attached to like a person.
[2:17] Speaker 2: Oh I got you, guys. You know what I mean.
[2:19] Speaker 3: Like some people like they get their claim to fame
[2:21] Speaker 3: by this person or whatever, but it's like.
[2:23] Speaker 2: It's just you. God, yes, God, God, yeah. Yes.
[2:31] Speaker 1: So today we are talking about bodyccount, which is a
[2:33] Speaker 1: very controversial topic that comes.
[2:35] Speaker 2: Up and dating. When have you ever had a guy
[2:39] Speaker 2: asked you like, so, how many people have you had
[2:41] Speaker 2: sex with?
[2:42] Speaker 3: Yes?
[2:42] Speaker 1: I get it all the time. And I feel like
[2:44] Speaker 1: after a certain age is like.
[2:48] Speaker 3: Because you still gonna hit it, like you act like
[2:52] Speaker 3: it's gonna change your mind. I feel like for men,
[2:56] Speaker 3: the ones that ask, they asked to see what category
[3:00] Speaker 3: they're gonna put you in. So if you only slept
[3:02] Speaker 3: with under five, which I don't know nobody, I don't
[3:04] Speaker 3: know none.
[3:04] Speaker 2: Of y'all who got under five by me neither, you
[3:07] Speaker 2: know what I mean, then they're like, oh yeah, she
[3:09] Speaker 2: whitey material.
[3:10] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[3:11] Speaker 2: And then if you tell them twenty six, they're gonna
[3:13] Speaker 2: be like, oh no, I gotta write that off. Or
[3:15] Speaker 2: you know, I'm just gonna hit it, or they might
[3:17] Speaker 2: think you're easy yeah or whatever.
[3:19] Speaker 3: But it's like, grow up, please grow up, because every
[3:21] Speaker 3: new year is even the miles reset.
[3:24] Speaker 2: That's how I feel. Whether deted my whole delist babys
[3:30] Speaker 2: with one man, that's listen, reset, listen. Okay, the resolutions
[3:41] Speaker 2: are not the only thing resetting on January one. Don't
[3:44] Speaker 2: believe me. I love it.
[3:46] Speaker 1: Do you feel like sometimes men are when they ask
[3:50] Speaker 1: the body counts that are insecurity, are they picky? Because
[3:52] Speaker 1: I know some men even there are some men that
[3:55] Speaker 1: have been insecure about the men I've dated, you know,
[3:58] Speaker 1: and I'm I'm I like to be honest about it
[4:00] Speaker 1: because some of those relationships are with public figures and
[4:02] Speaker 1: I don't want it to come up and he like, well,
[4:04] Speaker 1: you never told me about this. But I've had relationships
[4:06] Speaker 1: that didn't work because they couldn't stand like watching TV
[4:10] Speaker 1: and seeing my ex on TV.
[4:12] Speaker 2: That's their problem.
[4:14] Speaker 3: I mean, like, I think a lot of men are insecure,
[4:16] Speaker 3: and who I dealt with before you is before you.
[4:19] Speaker 3: And if I'm telling you, hey, listen, this is the
[4:22] Speaker 3: person that this is how I used to deal with them.
[4:24] Speaker 2: Just so you know, if I.
[4:25] Speaker 3: Ever see this personnel, you have the heads up, You
[4:28] Speaker 3: have the one up instead of being like oh yeah,
[4:30] Speaker 3: by the way, in the moment, then that's that's messed up.
[4:33] Speaker 2: Yes, embarrassed, I'm not this is the thing. I'm not
[4:36] Speaker 2: with them anymore for you.
[4:39] Speaker 3: They like we but you know, in some situations, it
[4:41] Speaker 3: could be a baby daddy though where it's like they're
[4:44] Speaker 3: gonna be around.
[4:45] Speaker 2: That's different. But you and I don't have any kids,
[4:47] Speaker 2: so we.
[4:50] Speaker 3: But a lot of gu I mean especially I can imagine,
[4:52] Speaker 3: like the type of men that you tracked is enough
[4:57] Speaker 3: to make anybody. Yeah, better have your bootstrapped on tight
[5:01] Speaker 3: and you better have you better be a confident person
[5:04] Speaker 3: because you are a cast.
[5:07] Speaker 1: And you know what I'm saying, No, it's real though,
[5:09] Speaker 1: because I've definitely had men like that.
[5:11] Speaker 2: They either insecuted out that they asked me and I you.
[5:14] Speaker 1: Know, I'm saying, you know how like someone but like uh,
[5:17] Speaker 1: three it was like a number and like if she
[5:19] Speaker 1: say she only had sex and four people, you know
[5:21] Speaker 1: she's lying. There was like a meme that I saw
[5:23] Speaker 1: that said there but like you said, they still gonna
[5:27] Speaker 1: hit it, like they're still probably fall in love.
[5:29] Speaker 2: You know. I saw. I saw who was it who
[5:32] Speaker 2: wrote a book?
[5:33] Speaker 3: I don't want to I don't want to give them press,
[5:34] Speaker 3: but I remember someone wrote up somebody wrote a book
[5:37] Speaker 3: and they were talking about the eleven guys that.
[5:39] Speaker 2: They had sec that had sex with.
[5:41] Speaker 3: And I was talking to my best friend and she
[5:42] Speaker 3: was like, I ain't even taking advice from a chick
[5:44] Speaker 3: that only had sex with eleven.
[5:46] Speaker 2: She said eleven. She said, grow up, grow up. She said,
[5:49] Speaker 2: I'm not even saying. I'm not reading that book. No,
[5:52] Speaker 2: that's nothing in there for me. She's like, call me.
[5:55] Speaker 3: I was crying, but I was just like, girl, you
[5:59] Speaker 3: body count is just like.
[6:01] Speaker 2: What are we doing? Yeah?
[6:02] Speaker 1: And I feel like for women, we don't care, like
[6:04] Speaker 1: we want somebody that's been experienced, because you would hope that,
[6:06] Speaker 1: like a man would want that too, so he could
[6:08] Speaker 1: be like, okay, please, you know what I'm.
[6:09] Speaker 2: Saying, you learned some things. I think it's the opposite.
[6:12] Speaker 2: Like if they see if a.
[6:13] Speaker 3: Girl has a low number, that's like, oh yeah, then
[6:16] Speaker 3: I can teach her some things.
[6:17] Speaker 2: I can do this and that.
[6:18] Speaker 3: But if I run into a dude with a low number,
[6:20] Speaker 3: oh man, it's been the block. Spend the block and
[6:23] Speaker 3: come back when you learn something.
[6:24] Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm not No, I'm not a good teacher.
[6:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not hard to do it like this because
[6:32] Speaker 1: I've had somebody like we're gonna get personal, like go
[6:36] Speaker 1: down and like it felt like they were biting me.
[6:38] Speaker 2: Oh girl, had somebody gnawed me down? They ate it
[6:41] Speaker 2: with no time. I said, you know what get up
[6:46] Speaker 2: Like it's hard to tell somebody, No, dude, this is
[6:48] Speaker 2: how you need to do it.
[6:49] Speaker 1: Yeah, I need you to go and know some other
[6:51] Speaker 1: people figure it out.
[6:56] Speaker 2: Seriously, so I do.
[6:57] Speaker 1: I feel like there is like a pride thing that
[6:59] Speaker 1: ego from men where they feel like you are more
[7:02] Speaker 1: of a prize when you haven't had sex with as
[7:05] Speaker 1: many men.
[7:06] Speaker 2: And for me, I feel like that doesn't define the prize.
[7:08] Speaker 2: It does. It does not define it.
[7:10] Speaker 1: Like there's so many more components that come into making
[7:12] Speaker 1: me the woman that I am. That's a gift to
[7:15] Speaker 1: you and a blessing to you. Then you know what
[7:17] Speaker 1: I'm saying, what I've done in my bed, you know.
[7:19] Speaker 3: Yes, that doesn't matter because at the end of the day,
[7:22] Speaker 3: when you're with someone and you have a life partner, yeah,
[7:26] Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. Y'all might be having sex
[7:28] Speaker 3: for a long time, but at some point it's gonna
[7:31] Speaker 3: it's gonna stop.
[7:32] Speaker 2: It's gonna stop.
[7:32] Speaker 3: It's gonna be you guys, Yes, what do you have
[7:35] Speaker 3: after that? There's been people that I have slept with
[7:37] Speaker 3: that I do not enjoy their company, you know what
[7:39] Speaker 3: I'm saying. So it's like you around here thinking that
[7:41] Speaker 3: I'm not a catch. I don't want you anyway period,
[7:44] Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying.
[7:44] Speaker 2: So it's like the person that I'm with now, like
[7:47] Speaker 2: we have all the things.
[7:48] Speaker 1: You do, like I love thank you, like I love it.
[7:51] Speaker 1: You be up at six in the morning, baker making
[7:57] Speaker 1: around it and it's somewhere around there. Yes, I love
[8:01] Speaker 1: the balance that you have. You still getting it, you
[8:03] Speaker 1: go get her, you still have your career, but you
[8:06] Speaker 1: are up like making breakfast, making everything juicing.
[8:15] Speaker 3: But the thing is, it's like the other people, they
[8:17] Speaker 3: didn't get that side of me. So even though you
[8:20] Speaker 3: might not be my first, you're my first in this
[8:23] Speaker 3: space where like I never was like this, And it's
[8:26] Speaker 3: not that I wasn't like that because I feel like
[8:28] Speaker 3: I feel like all.
[8:29] Speaker 2: Women have that side to them.
[8:30] Speaker 3: It's just a man has to bring it out of them,
[8:32] Speaker 3: like the right guy has to bring it out of them,
[8:33] Speaker 3: and if they want to be like.
[8:35] Speaker 2: That or whatever. But I was never like that with
[8:38] Speaker 2: none of the other ones.
[8:39] Speaker 1: Yep, it's always that one that'll bring like the wife
[8:41] Speaker 1: out of you.
[8:42] Speaker 3: Yeah, but I wanted to be but either they didn't
[8:45] Speaker 3: really accept it. It wasn't it just it just didn't work,
[8:48] Speaker 3: because that's the real thing it is. I dated a
[8:50] Speaker 3: guy who had mommy issues, and I'm very nurturing, so
[8:53] Speaker 3: I'm like you are.
[8:54] Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, let me pack your bag, let me
[8:56] Speaker 2: do this, and he's like, don't touch my stuff. I
[8:58] Speaker 2: can do it myself.
[8:59] Speaker 3: And I'm just like, okay, strong independent black man who
[9:01] Speaker 3: don't need know no woman.
[9:03] Speaker 2: Oh like my bad. But I realized, like I felt like,
[9:06] Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like yeah, because he didn't need that
[9:12] Speaker 2: for me, and I'm like, well, dang, I've had that too,
[9:14] Speaker 2: you know. And then but I think that full circle moment.
[9:18] Speaker 3: The reason why we date is because I really encouraged
[9:20] Speaker 3: him to mend that relationship with his mom. I was like,
[9:23] Speaker 3: you got to talk to your mom, and you have
[9:25] Speaker 3: to tell her how you feel.
[9:26] Speaker 2: You have to you have to express.
[9:27] Speaker 3: To her that like you're not okay, and now you're
[9:30] Speaker 3: because you're going to continue to take it out on
[9:32] Speaker 3: the women that come into your life and try to
[9:34] Speaker 3: be like not your mom, but like as a partner
[9:38] Speaker 3: of you know, when you're dating someone you're kind of
[9:41] Speaker 3: you might have a little motherly similarity where you're like,
[9:44] Speaker 3: I'm going to hold you accountable. I'm going to make
[9:47] Speaker 3: sure you eat or just whatever those things are. Can
[9:49] Speaker 3: see motherly to some people, but if you've never had that.
[9:52] Speaker 2: It's foreign to you. You think that I'm just being extra,
[9:55] Speaker 2: you know.
[9:57] Speaker 3: Yeah, And it just didn't It just didn't work. But
[9:59] Speaker 3: he were kindled his relationship with this mom, and I'm
[10:01] Speaker 3: happy that I was the reason for that, and then
[10:03] Speaker 3: like that's it. Yeah, but I didn't get to be
[10:06] Speaker 3: how I am in my relationship now with him.
[10:08] Speaker 2: I was trying, Yeah, like that works like that.
[10:12] Speaker 1: It's funny because I was sating a guy and it
[10:15] Speaker 1: was similar, and it seems like any guy because I'm
[10:17] Speaker 1: anybody who knows me knows that when I have a man,
[10:19] Speaker 1: I'm a wife.
[10:20] Speaker 2: Like I'm showing you what you're gonna get. Girl, you're
[10:22] Speaker 2: a wife to your friend, Oh like hello, thank you.
[10:27] Speaker 1: But I try to show them like this is what
[10:29] Speaker 1: you're going to get, you know, And a lot of
[10:31] Speaker 1: them couldn't handle.
[10:31] Speaker 2: They weren't in the space to recognize it. And when
[10:34] Speaker 2: we break up, years of past by and they're like,
[10:36] Speaker 2: she's the one that got away, I'm so tired of that,
[10:39] Speaker 2: and I'm like, I know, like I'm so like grow
[10:43] Speaker 2: up like you was, just say I wasn't. I wasn't
[10:45] Speaker 2: man enough. I wasn't ready. Would you spend the block? No?
[10:47] Speaker 1: I never spend both of those guys, no, because I'm like,
[10:50] Speaker 1: you had me and you didn't appreciate it.
[10:52] Speaker 2: You show me who you are. I'm good. Yeah, no,
[10:56] Speaker 2: really so you never had like your him my him?
[11:01] Speaker 3: Well when I say like, oh that's him, like the
[11:05] Speaker 3: first person that comes.
[11:05] Speaker 1: To mind, yeah, somebody did come to mind. And it
[11:08] Speaker 1: was like a five year off and on thing.
[11:10] Speaker 2: So I did.
[11:11] Speaker 1: So I did, Like he would show me that he
[11:13] Speaker 1: wasn't ready, but he would come back in and out
[11:15] Speaker 1: of my life for five years, and it was just
[11:17] Speaker 1: like a maybe he's ready this time, you know, maybe
[11:20] Speaker 1: he's ready to receive what I have to give him
[11:22] Speaker 1: and what I know I can offer.
[11:24] Speaker 2: But yeah, it's nothing now.
[11:27] Speaker 3: Like oh where are you at?
[11:31] Speaker 2: You're stupid?
[11:32] Speaker 3: I's wrong with you and you know it's messed up.
[11:35] Speaker 2: It's like guys like that will ruin it for the
[11:36] Speaker 2: other ones too.
[11:37] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, I try not to do that,
[11:39] Speaker 1: though I've tried, because I'm such a giver. I try
[11:42] Speaker 1: not to allow the men who don't appreciate it ruin
[11:46] Speaker 1: my heart or make me not want to get the
[11:47] Speaker 1: next one because I know I'm going to run to somebody.
[11:50] Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I gotta lock this down. I cannot
[11:52] Speaker 1: let this girl go.
[11:53] Speaker 2: I gotta lock this down. Do you understand what.
[11:57] Speaker 3: Qualities are you looking forward to for somebody? For me,
[12:00] Speaker 3: would even be eligible to lock it down?
[12:02] Speaker 2: You know?
[12:03] Speaker 1: I always say, like someone that's God fearing, someone who
[12:06] Speaker 1: puts God first, always wants somebody that knows that when
[12:08] Speaker 1: they see me, they got to go to God to
[12:10] Speaker 1: get to me.
[12:12] Speaker 2: What does that look like? It looks like a pray man. Yeah,
[12:15] Speaker 2: man was in church.
[12:16] Speaker 1: And their intention you see it in their actions, Like
[12:18] Speaker 1: you can tell like this guy's moving with intention when
[12:21] Speaker 1: it comes to me. You know what I'm saying, And
[12:22] Speaker 1: how he plans which when, and how he leads his integrity,
[12:26] Speaker 1: how he treats people who can do nothing for him
[12:30] Speaker 1: in so many different things, how he treats his mother.
[12:31] Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah, those are things that just get
[12:34] Speaker 2: my ten Like I love all those things, those things
[12:39] Speaker 2: that turn me on.
[12:40] Speaker 1: And also intellect, and I'm really big on intellect. You
[12:43] Speaker 1: can to get here, you got to get me here.
[12:45] Speaker 1: I always say that, yeah, you're not getting in the
[12:47] Speaker 1: pantings if you can't get in your head, yeah, and
[12:50] Speaker 1: then you can give my head. That's like, but you
[12:55] Speaker 1: have to, like I have to be mentally simulated.
[12:58] Speaker 2: And you know, it's funny.
[12:59] Speaker 3: Because like I think, I don't want to say, a
[13:00] Speaker 3: lot of women, but this gen Z group of women
[13:04] Speaker 3: that we have now, it's very much like I'm gonna
[13:08] Speaker 3: sleep with who I want. I'm gonna do whatever I want.
[13:11] Speaker 3: But it's like you're not really being mentally stimulated. It's
[13:13] Speaker 3: more like, oh, I like this guy, I'm gonna screw
[13:15] Speaker 3: him or do whatever whatever it is. But it's like,
[13:18] Speaker 3: and I feel like I don't want to say I
[13:20] Speaker 3: was that girl, but I used to be sexually free,
[13:22] Speaker 3: like definitely lit whole face.
[13:24] Speaker 2: Yeah, don't we talk about it, because me too. I
[13:26] Speaker 2: had a whole face. Yeah, but listen, I had an
[13:28] Speaker 2: amazing hole face.
[13:30] Speaker 3: But I remember when I was mentally stimulated by someone
[13:33] Speaker 3: that I never slept with, yep, and I was just
[13:35] Speaker 3: like and I wrote it, Yeah, I wrote a poem
[13:37] Speaker 3: about it.
[13:38] Speaker 2: Really, I didn't know how to express myself.
[13:40] Speaker 3: I was like we would talk for hours, super intellectual, right,
[13:44] Speaker 3: and we would spend all this time together. We were
[13:45] Speaker 3: just sitting in the car and we would just talk.
[13:47] Speaker 3: But like I was mentally stimulating and I was like, wait,
[13:51] Speaker 3: is he having sex with my.
[13:52] Speaker 2: Mind right now?
[13:53] Speaker 3: Like we never we never had sex, and you know
[13:56] Speaker 3: what I mean. So it's it's it's crazy how like
[13:59] Speaker 3: some people but don't even experience that.
[14:01] Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't.
[14:02] Speaker 1: And when you can get both, it's, oh yeah, like
[14:05] Speaker 1: I'm liking you down.
[14:06] Speaker 2: Oh hello, listen.
[14:09] Speaker 1: I remember I was in college, and I think definitely
[14:12] Speaker 1: I wasn't like fully mentally developed, even sexually developed, you know,
[14:16] Speaker 1: like I was. I was raised in a strict home.
[14:21] Speaker 2: Do not have sex?
[14:22] Speaker 1: Yeah, go to church, you know, like and my mom
[14:24] Speaker 1: always used to say to me, getting pregnant isn't the
[14:26] Speaker 1: worst thing that can happen, because I was saying like
[14:28] Speaker 1: AIDS and different and STDs, and I was like, okay,
[14:32] Speaker 1: So I always had it in the back of my mind.
[14:33] Speaker 2: But like they instilled the fear of goding me.
[14:35] Speaker 1: So I was always scared. And I got to college.
[14:37] Speaker 1: I was at shelter little girl and she was free baby.
[14:41] Speaker 1: I was running rampant on that campus and I had
[14:45] Speaker 1: a little boyfriend and he was at another school in Nashville,
[14:48] Speaker 1: which was like three hours away, and I ended up
[14:51] Speaker 1: talking to.
[14:52] Speaker 2: The star basketball team and the star of the basketball
[14:54] Speaker 2: team and he got all the girls wanted him, but
[14:58] Speaker 2: I had them.
[14:59] Speaker 1: And then I and that that he was screwing every
[15:01] Speaker 1: girl on campus and it broke my heart. And it
[15:04] Speaker 1: was something in that moment where I was like, if
[15:07] Speaker 1: you can do.
[15:08] Speaker 2: That, then I'm gonna do it.
[15:10] Speaker 1: And I just like and that was my I feel
[15:12] Speaker 1: like sexually liberated phase in my life where I was like, no,
[15:16] Speaker 1: so I'm gonna go talk to your friend so you
[15:18] Speaker 1: can see how it feels. And not knowing that every
[15:21] Speaker 1: time I did that, I wasn't privy to the soul
[15:24] Speaker 1: ties the damage that I was doing, and it was
[15:27] Speaker 1: something I had to grow.
[15:29] Speaker 2: I learned.
[15:30] Speaker 1: It didn't last long because I was causing it was
[15:32] Speaker 1: causing confusion within my own.
[15:34] Speaker 2: Spirit, and I was like, what are you doing? Like,
[15:37] Speaker 2: first of all, he's not worth it.
[15:38] Speaker 1: These other men ain't worth it, like nobody's And it
[15:40] Speaker 1: would be the ones that like I could just sit
[15:43] Speaker 1: down and at the foot of their bed and like
[15:44] Speaker 1: they would really give me good advice that I tended
[15:48] Speaker 1: to just draw nearer to that put in. It reminded
[15:52] Speaker 1: me that the crystal like you're worth more than It's like,
[15:54] Speaker 1: you don't have to do that, you know.
[15:55] Speaker 2: You know what's interesting.
[15:56] Speaker 3: I was having a conversation with somebody and they were
[15:58] Speaker 3: talking about how women are naturally monogamous.
[16:01] Speaker 2: And that when women step out in their.
[16:03] Speaker 3: Relationship, it's not revenge, but they retaliate.
[16:07] Speaker 2: It was a retaliation, you know what I'm saying.
[16:09] Speaker 3: So it's like, like you said, I want you to feel
[16:11] Speaker 3: what I'm feeling. But men are wired completely different when
[16:14] Speaker 3: they can love you to death, sleep with this one
[16:16] Speaker 3: over here, and come back to you and not even
[16:18] Speaker 3: think about her tomorrow. Literally, And it's like it took
[16:21] Speaker 3: a long time for me to realize that because even
[16:23] Speaker 3: like having conversations with my dad now that I'm older,
[16:25] Speaker 3: he's like, that's how men are wired. And it's interesting
[16:29] Speaker 3: that that was your sexual liberation, which it harmed you
[16:32] Speaker 3: in a way because it was like you weren't really
[16:34] Speaker 3: that girl, no, you know what I'm saying. So for me,
[16:36] Speaker 3: like the way I started my whole phase was like
[16:38] Speaker 3: I was sexually abused. Oh my god, yeah, not by
[16:41] Speaker 3: any family or relatives or anybody. But like I was,
[16:44] Speaker 3: I had older boyfriends and I was really young, and
[16:47] Speaker 3: I was always that.
[16:48] Speaker 2: Girl who older guys liked.
[16:50] Speaker 3: And I used to think like, oh, it's because you know,
[16:52] Speaker 3: I'm grown and this is and that's like, no, you're
[16:54] Speaker 3: young and you're easing to manipulate and you know what
[16:57] Speaker 3: I mean. And I had daddy issues growing up were
[16:59] Speaker 3: like my dad and I have a great relationship with
[17:02] Speaker 3: my dad now, but my dad wasn't raised in love.
[17:06] Speaker 2: He was raised from survival.
[17:07] Speaker 3: So like when he had daughters, he was just trying
[17:10] Speaker 3: to survive and make a way for them. It was
[17:12] Speaker 3: never like he never was like, oh, Jazz, you're doing
[17:15] Speaker 3: so great.
[17:15] Speaker 2: I love you. I'm so proud of you.
[17:16] Speaker 3: Nowadays he's like my number one fan, yep. But I
[17:20] Speaker 3: had to tell him like this is how I received love.
[17:23] Speaker 3: But back then it was just like you have a roof.
[17:25] Speaker 2: Over your head, How do you not think I don't
[17:27] Speaker 2: love you?
[17:27] Speaker 3: Or like you have I got you a car at sixteen,
[17:30] Speaker 3: Like how do you not? How do you don't how
[17:33] Speaker 3: come you don't feel love? But for me, I'm like
[17:35] Speaker 3: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality.
[17:39] Speaker 2: Time, all the things and my mom was all those things.
[17:42] Speaker 3: So like I was closer to my mother because she
[17:44] Speaker 3: spoke my love language.
[17:46] Speaker 2: And it took time.
[17:46] Speaker 3: So it was like, Okay, I never had anyone to
[17:49] Speaker 3: tell me I was beautiful.
[17:50] Speaker 2: L' buy me flowers.
[17:51] Speaker 3: So the first person that did it, I'm like, oh,
[17:54] Speaker 3: I'll give you everything, you know what I mean. So
[17:57] Speaker 3: I found myself like down this really.
[17:59] Speaker 2: Dark of like just wanting to feel validated.
[18:04] Speaker 3: So it was just this guy, this guy, this guy,
[18:06] Speaker 3: this guy.
[18:07] Speaker 2: This guy. You know, this goes on. And then they
[18:09] Speaker 2: were all older than me, you know what I mean.
[18:12] Speaker 3: And I was even in a situation where I dated
[18:14] Speaker 3: a guy and in that essence, like when I thought
[18:17] Speaker 3: about it, I.
[18:18] Speaker 2: Was like, Yo, this nigga was like my pim. Wow. Yeah,
[18:21] Speaker 2: I was just like I loved him. Well, I didn't
[18:24] Speaker 2: love him, girl, I thought I thought I loved you.
[18:27] Speaker 3: I was brainwashed because he was doing all the things,
[18:29] Speaker 3: you know, And then I realized that he was like
[18:32] Speaker 3: he wasn't.
[18:32] Speaker 2: Very kind to me. He didn't have me in.
[18:34] Speaker 3: The best situations. He wasn't considerate of my feelings. And
[18:39] Speaker 3: this was like early on, I probably he was probably
[18:41] Speaker 3: like the third person I had sex with because I
[18:44] Speaker 3: remember like I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and
[18:47] Speaker 3: then and then like I had a random encounter and
[18:50] Speaker 3: then he was like the third guy that I met,
[18:53] Speaker 3: and then it was like from there it was like
[18:55] Speaker 3: I don't want to say I learned everything from him,
[18:57] Speaker 3: but it was like it was abuse though, you know.
[19:00] Speaker 2: And then prior to him.
[19:01] Speaker 3: Like I or no, after him, I still dated older guys.
[19:05] Speaker 2: So it was like it just it didn't stop. It
[19:09] Speaker 2: was a vicious cycle. And then so now to be
[19:12] Speaker 2: in a situation where like, oh.
[19:13] Speaker 3: My gosh, don't do it.
[19:15] Speaker 2: Yes, let it go, it's fine.
[19:19] Speaker 1: But now and oh whoa, it's the clinics in my
[19:23] Speaker 1: bedroom bedroom.
[19:24] Speaker 2: Now. Just now to be in a situation and a relationship.
[19:27] Speaker 3: Now where I am loved, you know, and I feel that,
[19:30] Speaker 3: and I know what it's like for for somebody to
[19:34] Speaker 3: really love you and care for you and to show
[19:36] Speaker 3: you that they care and to be honest with you,
[19:38] Speaker 3: you know what I mean, and tell me like, babe,
[19:40] Speaker 3: like that wasn't love, and I'm like, yes it was.
[19:43] Speaker 2: They were like this. He's like, no, that's not it.
[19:46] Speaker 3: And we would bump heads a lot because he would
[19:48] Speaker 3: keep it real with me being like and be like,
[19:50] Speaker 3: I know that you love this person, but that was
[19:53] Speaker 3: not love.
[19:53] Speaker 2: I'm telling you that's not love, you know what I mean.
[19:57] Speaker 2: Hopefully I don't need them. We'll just keep that just
[19:59] Speaker 2: in case.
[20:01] Speaker 3: But yeah, so I just found myself just going on
[20:03] Speaker 3: and on and that's why it's like body count.
[20:06] Speaker 2: Yeah, man, it is life. Yes.
[20:09] Speaker 3: And then on top of that, it's like, are we
[20:11] Speaker 3: naming every person that's entered us?
[20:13] Speaker 2: Are we? Or are we naming everyone that we were
[20:15] Speaker 2: connected to? Wow?
[20:17] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because like, yeah, I got bodies,
[20:20] Speaker 3: but like they didn't care about me.
[20:22] Speaker 2: I didn't care about them. There was no connection there,
[20:25] Speaker 2: you know.
[20:25] Speaker 3: So it's like the ones that count, those are the
[20:29] Speaker 3: ones that count.
[20:30] Speaker 2: Counts, Yes, you know what I mean.
[20:31] Speaker 1: When was the like because I love that story and
[20:35] Speaker 1: we all every woman has their own walk, and I
[20:37] Speaker 1: feel like they all have a phase like that at.
[20:39] Speaker 2: Some point in their life. What was the point where
[20:41] Speaker 2: you felt like this is real love? Is it the
[20:43] Speaker 2: situation you and now?
[20:44] Speaker 1: Was there another point where you're like, this is the
[20:46] Speaker 1: first time I felt this is love.
[20:47] Speaker 2: Somebody really cares about me, and that.
[20:50] Speaker 3: You were exposed to that well, I think I've always
[20:53] Speaker 3: been a lover. So even with all the abuse and
[20:55] Speaker 3: all the things, like, I still wanted love. I was like,
[20:58] Speaker 3: you know the movie Pursuit of Happiness, It was like
[20:59] Speaker 3: persu love, Like I was just looking for that thing.
[21:02] Speaker 3: So I fell in love with a guy probably like
[21:05] Speaker 3: seventeen eighteen years old, awful. I was my first love,
[21:10] Speaker 3: broke my heart. I was still on the brown, like,
[21:14] Speaker 3: still looking.
[21:14] Speaker 2: I would give myself time and then I would go
[21:16] Speaker 2: back out there again. You know.
[21:17] Speaker 3: So I've been in relationships where I've loved people and
[21:21] Speaker 3: they didn't always love me back the way I love.
[21:23] Speaker 2: I feel like I always love the person more me too.
[21:25] Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, you know when I say that to
[21:27] Speaker 3: my guy now, I'm like.
[21:28] Speaker 2: I just love you more. He was like, you can't.
[21:30] Speaker 2: You don't know that. You can't say that, you know.
[21:32] Speaker 3: But I feel like the way the way my efforts
[21:34] Speaker 3: are set up and the way I am, it feels
[21:37] Speaker 3: like I do I love you more.
[21:39] Speaker 2: But it's like that.
[21:39] Speaker 3: Doesn't mean that I actually do, you know what I mean?
[21:42] Speaker 3: And men are so like it's very rare if you
[21:44] Speaker 3: get someone who is like who can wholeheartedly just be
[21:47] Speaker 3: vulnerable and yes, tell you like I love you. Know,
[21:50] Speaker 3: when I see you in the morning, I get you know,
[21:53] Speaker 3: I feel tingly.
[21:54] Speaker 2: Like they're not fay it, you know what I'm saying.
[21:56] Speaker 2: They feel it, but they just say it.
[21:58] Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's like they're not hired that way, you know.
[22:01] Speaker 3: So it's like what I learned from my dad is
[22:05] Speaker 3: love languages and showing love come in other ways than
[22:10] Speaker 3: the way I want.
[22:10] Speaker 2: Yes.
[22:11] Speaker 3: So it's like the way I receive is obviously physical time,
[22:14] Speaker 3: words of affirmation, touch and all that stuff. But some
[22:18] Speaker 3: people their love is like I got you your favorite
[22:20] Speaker 3: snack at the gas station on my way back, gifts
[22:23] Speaker 3: or yeah, or.
[22:24] Speaker 2: Just yeah, acts of service, gifts or whatever, just like
[22:26] Speaker 2: being thoughtful, like you.
[22:28] Speaker 3: Know, baking me cookies or just things that I like
[22:31] Speaker 3: or whatever that is.
[22:32] Speaker 2: It's like it's not always like Crystal, I love you
[22:36] Speaker 2: so much, You're so amazing. It's not always like that.
[22:39] Speaker 3: It's just like I might have stocked up your fridge,
[22:43] Speaker 3: or just I see a need and I need it,
[22:45] Speaker 3: or like the things that you don't.
[22:46] Speaker 2: Even have to ask me for, you know.
[22:48] Speaker 3: So just having an open mind of like there's other
[22:51] Speaker 3: ways to receive love but some people are so stubborn
[22:54] Speaker 3: and it's like, wave, it ain't how I want to.
[22:55] Speaker 2: I don't hate, I don't need I doubt it, you
[22:58] Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like I see that a lot.
[23:02] Speaker 1: Okay, So I touched on how I felt about sex
[23:05] Speaker 1: and how I was raised with very strict parents, the
[23:08] Speaker 1: fear of God in me. Like I couldn't date until
[23:10] Speaker 1: I was sixteen. I didn't lose my virginity until I
[23:13] Speaker 1: was in college.
[23:15] Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, oh yeah, I was scared. I was scared,
[23:20] Speaker 2: but that's when I just went wild.
[23:23] Speaker 3: Like I was like, I got a dress on the days, right.
[23:32] Speaker 2: Was me?
[23:34] Speaker 1: What was it like with your childhood that? And how
[23:37] Speaker 1: did you look at sex before you started having sex?
[23:39] Speaker 2: You know?
[23:39] Speaker 3: I also grew up in church, you know, and it
[23:42] Speaker 3: was all like abstinence was everywhere.
[23:44] Speaker 2: Yep, everywhere.
[23:45] Speaker 3: But it's like when they tell you not to do something,
[23:47] Speaker 3: you're kind of curious about it. And then my sister
[23:51] Speaker 3: she was like I was always cute, you know, but
[23:54] Speaker 3: all the.
[23:55] Speaker 2: Men wanted my sister, you know what I mean.
[23:57] Speaker 3: So my sister was like, you are that girl she was.
[24:01] Speaker 3: She was dating our neighbor from across the street. I
[24:03] Speaker 3: had a crush on.
[24:04] Speaker 2: Then she started another guy I had a crush. It's
[24:06] Speaker 2: like it's like all the guys I.
[24:07] Speaker 3: Like she got and I'm just like yeah. But then
[24:13] Speaker 3: like I noticed she was different after she started having sex.
[24:19] Speaker 2: She noticed what was the little sister looking her?
[24:22] Speaker 3: Yeah, Like she just was more like to me, I
[24:25] Speaker 3: was like, whoa, Like she's grown up. And I think
[24:27] Speaker 3: that I wanted to be grown because I wanted people
[24:30] Speaker 3: to stop saying that I was cute. I wanted people
[24:33] Speaker 3: to say, like, you're sexy. And I don't know why
[24:36] Speaker 3: I wanted to be sexy at like ten, but I
[24:40] Speaker 3: wanted to be sexy. Like my oldest sister was very sexy,
[24:43] Speaker 3: and she would bring her boyfriends.
[24:44] Speaker 2: By the house. I liked everybody's boyfriend, my sisters. I'd
[24:47] Speaker 2: be like, no, I love him. Stop.
[24:51] Speaker 3: I used to be in love with all my sisters sisters,
[24:54] Speaker 3: and like, nobody ever looked at me like that, and
[24:56] Speaker 3: I just was like, you know, I started wearing like
[24:58] Speaker 3: all the little you know, the little I'm from Florida,
[25:01] Speaker 3: so we had so our the way us ratchet girls
[25:04] Speaker 3: were dressed.
[25:05] Speaker 2: It was like it was like ratchet mixed with chonga.
[25:09] Speaker 3: Like we were like we were like the little spandex
[25:12] Speaker 3: little bottom pants, a dark lip liner, the wet curly hair,
[25:17] Speaker 3: and then but.
[25:18] Speaker 2: I might have a six piece grill to the on
[25:20] Speaker 2: the bottom like yeah, like it was just.
[25:24] Speaker 3: You know, but I always wore like a little something
[25:27] Speaker 3: tight or whatever, just because I wanted people to like
[25:29] Speaker 3: look at I didn't want to be cute when it
[25:32] Speaker 3: was sexy, you know. And I was like Dan my sister,
[25:35] Speaker 3: like she was just starting to look sexy to me
[25:38] Speaker 3: like that, you like, yeah, But it wasn't like I
[25:42] Speaker 3: was pressed to lose my virginity. I was fine with
[25:44] Speaker 3: getting finger popped. Like I was like, hey, this is
[25:47] Speaker 3: all right with me. It's like I didn't and it's
[25:50] Speaker 3: so funny. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm saying
[25:52] Speaker 3: this loud. I used to date this guy, I remember
[25:57] Speaker 3: saying to him because I was a virgin and I
[26:00] Speaker 3: would just let him finger me. And I remember saying
[26:02] Speaker 3: to him like, I want you to do anything to
[26:08] Speaker 3: make me say yes.
[26:09] Speaker 2: Like to have sex with him.
[26:10] Speaker 3: And then when I say, if you can get me
[26:12] Speaker 3: to say yes, tell me no, and see how I react.
[26:16] Speaker 2: Oh wow, because I want over you.
[26:17] Speaker 3: When you said this girl all of what fifteen years old?
[26:21] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying because I remember, like I
[26:24] Speaker 2: wanted to know what like that feeling.
[26:26] Speaker 3: Of like you gotta get no, you have to no,
[26:29] Speaker 3: please do it, Like I wanted to know what that
[26:30] Speaker 3: feeling was.
[26:31] Speaker 2: You know, he never did it. Though he never did it.
[26:35] Speaker 2: I want you to do anything. Yeah, I know, it's
[26:37] Speaker 2: like what, like why are you even talking like this? Yeah,
[26:41] Speaker 2: He's like, why would I tell you no? The moment
[26:44] Speaker 2: I've been waiting for all that, right, you know, He's like,
[26:47] Speaker 2: but it's like, girl, come here.
[26:49] Speaker 3: But it's like I remember, like I was getting figured
[26:52] Speaker 3: all the time, so I was like a fingerhole before
[26:54] Speaker 3: I started like having sex. Like I would sneak out
[26:56] Speaker 3: of the house go down to the park and.
[26:58] Speaker 2: I would get picked up and I would go to
[26:59] Speaker 2: the park.
[27:00] Speaker 3: And I remember like buying like cute little underwears and
[27:04] Speaker 3: like wet ceiling stuff. I remember my first thong was
[27:08] Speaker 3: my mom's, Like she forgot it in the dryer and
[27:11] Speaker 3: I saw it in there and I took it out
[27:13] Speaker 3: and I had that one thong and I just kept rewashing.
[27:16] Speaker 2: It was just washing the middle.
[27:18] Speaker 3: Outwear and just washing down the middle and that it
[27:22] Speaker 3: was a purple sign.
[27:25] Speaker 2: It was my only though I wasn't allowed to wear.
[27:27] Speaker 2: I wasn't either. I was gonna ask you that, like
[27:28] Speaker 2: my mom did not. I couldn't wear thoughs until I
[27:30] Speaker 2: got out of the house.
[27:31] Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's why I kept washing it out. Oh,
[27:34] Speaker 3: I couldn't put it in regular laundry. I had at
[27:36] Speaker 3: hand wash them every day and let them air dry,
[27:39] Speaker 3: like on the flat under my pillow and just put
[27:41] Speaker 3: my pillow down.
[27:42] Speaker 2: Girl, coochie smelled like meal.
[27:44] Speaker 3: Dude, that shit ain't dry, I know, but like I
[27:49] Speaker 3: wanted to be sexy. So like when I started having
[27:52] Speaker 3: SA I thought I was gonna feel like, you know,
[27:57] Speaker 3: you don't let it dry all the way.
[27:59] Speaker 2: Some people like the closing the washingtons are yeah, and
[28:03] Speaker 2: don't then.
[28:05] Speaker 3: And then the people who act like they don't they
[28:07] Speaker 3: can't smell like that makes me mad, Like, so you
[28:09] Speaker 3: don't smell that your clothes is just sitting in there
[28:11] Speaker 3: washing machine thir days. You still put him in the
[28:14] Speaker 3: dry like so I know this, listen, I don't know. Shoot,
[28:20] Speaker 3: And I remember like I was in high school and
[28:25] Speaker 3: I had lost my virginity or no, I didn't. No,
[28:27] Speaker 3: I was a virgin at the time, and it was
[28:30] Speaker 3: a guy I was dating because I had so many
[28:31] Speaker 3: like little here and their boyfriends, and we said we
[28:35] Speaker 3: were going to be each other's first, like you know,
[28:38] Speaker 3: and I remember like him going down and man, it
[28:40] Speaker 3: was like so bad and I never had it done before,
[28:44] Speaker 3: so I didn't know, but I remember it just being
[28:46] Speaker 3: so bad.
[28:48] Speaker 2: So I feel like a part of me was like the.
[28:49] Speaker 3: Quest to find like why is everybody like sex so much?
[28:54] Speaker 3: Like when is it gonna feel good to me?
[28:56] Speaker 2: Like, yeah, because it does, but everybody likes it? Wow,
[29:00] Speaker 2: what is that?
[29:01] Speaker 3: So part of me was like, Okay, I'm on the
[29:03] Speaker 3: quest to see you know, when.
[29:05] Speaker 2: Is it gonna feel good?
[29:07] Speaker 3: Because even in my abusive relationship, like I feel like
[29:12] Speaker 3: I don't even know if I really enjoyed it. I
[29:14] Speaker 3: feel like it was more like I was so into him.
[29:17] Speaker 3: It was like whatever he wanted.
[29:19] Speaker 2: You know what I mean, But it was never But
[29:20] Speaker 2: when I.
[29:21] Speaker 3: Got was someone who made it all about me, it
[29:23] Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is.
[29:24] Speaker 2: Different, this is different. Yeah.
[29:26] Speaker 1: Yeah, what was the first time you felt that like
[29:29] Speaker 1: or somebody Like what age were you when somebody finally
[29:32] Speaker 1: came around and it made you feel.
[29:33] Speaker 2: Like it was just about you.
[29:36] Speaker 3: Yeah, I was on the cheerleading team at my school
[29:39] Speaker 3: and one of.
[29:40] Speaker 2: My like one of my like my gosh, what do
[29:44] Speaker 2: you call each other squad members? Yeah, Like she had
[29:48] Speaker 2: a y.
[29:49] Speaker 3: She her brother in law was her brother in law,
[29:52] Speaker 3: her god brother, her godbrother.
[29:53] Speaker 2: Like we were. We used to like do car washess.
[29:57] Speaker 3: For donations so we can raise money for camps those days.
[30:00] Speaker 3: It ain't nothing, but they just out there soliciting us. Anyways,
[30:03] Speaker 3: I was on the media and like, and he had
[30:05] Speaker 3: came by and he would every now and then just
[30:07] Speaker 3: like pull up and pick her up from school and stuff.
[30:09] Speaker 2: And I'd be like, I was like, who is that?
[30:10] Speaker 2: But obviously he was way older than me. And I
[30:13] Speaker 2: remember I remember like he had came by and he
[30:17] Speaker 2: was like like car wash the nation. He was like, no,
[30:19] Speaker 2: I do need my car wash.
[30:20] Speaker 3: But he had took some money and he had like
[30:22] Speaker 3: put it in like my bathing suit top or something
[30:24] Speaker 3: like yes, And I was just like, oh my gosh.
[30:27] Speaker 3: And I remember he had a dodge knee on. It
[30:31] Speaker 3: was like a slate blue dodge knee and in his
[30:35] Speaker 3: rear view mirror.
[30:35] Speaker 2: He had handcuffs and I was like, oh gosh.
[30:38] Speaker 3: Like he's freaking who just like, no, I didn't know.
[30:46] Speaker 2: I didn't know at the time, and I was like whoa.
[30:49] Speaker 3: And I remember like, I don't know, not telling my
[30:53] Speaker 3: friend that I liked it, and I don't I don't
[30:55] Speaker 3: even know how we even connected, but we ended up
[30:58] Speaker 3: connecting somehow, and he was like the first guy that like,
[31:02] Speaker 3: you know, did all the things, and I was just
[31:05] Speaker 3: like whoa, you know, so I would like, but I
[31:09] Speaker 3: I never wanted to be his girlfriend. It was just like, no,
[31:13] Speaker 3: I like that thing, like I'd rather just have sex
[31:15] Speaker 3: with you.
[31:16] Speaker 2: I don't really want to like get to know you.
[31:18] Speaker 2: Was he like did that hurt him? Or was he Yeah?
[31:21] Speaker 3: Because men get hurt too, you know what I'm saying,
[31:23] Speaker 3: Like men are like, wait, what what do you mean?
[31:26] Speaker 2: You don't want to be my girl?
[31:27] Speaker 1: When they're hurt, it hurts worse because they're not. They're
[31:30] Speaker 1: so used to being so strong and prideful that when
[31:34] Speaker 1: somebody penetrates through that system is like whoa, yes, you've
[31:37] Speaker 1: got to let you in and then you hurt me,
[31:39] Speaker 1: so it's like I only liked you for this thing.
[31:44] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And then it's like he.
[31:46] Speaker 3: Would invite me to go eat or do all the
[31:48] Speaker 3: things I don't want to, which is kind of that's
[31:52] Speaker 3: messed up because he.
[31:53] Speaker 2: Was a really nice He was a nice guy.
[31:54] Speaker 1: And that's how I feel like. Some men get ruined.
[31:56] Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that you ruined him, but I.
[32:01] Speaker 2: Say it.
[32:01] Speaker 1: They're into a woman sometimes and they don't get the
[32:05] Speaker 1: outcome they want, especially when they.
[32:06] Speaker 2: Pour into you.
[32:07] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the next woman is gonna get it. It's like,
[32:10] Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's a fact. And that happens to women too,
[32:13] Speaker 1: because men can they can definitely ruin a good woman
[32:16] Speaker 1: where they're like, you know what, I'm not that's it
[32:18] Speaker 1: with anybody else.
[32:19] Speaker 2: I'm straight.
[32:19] Speaker 3: What's the way someone can ruin you? I feel like
[32:22] Speaker 3: with you if if they ruin your.
[32:24] Speaker 2: Trust, oh definitely, yeah, I'm super big. You can tell.
[32:29] Speaker 1: I mean I had to fire someone.
[32:32] Speaker 2: Because of trust.
[32:33] Speaker 1: I can deal with a lot of things. But if
[32:36] Speaker 1: you lie to me, then I can't trust absolutely.
[32:40] Speaker 2: Yeah, just let me know what it is, but give.
[32:42] Speaker 1: Me the respect to tell me the truth where so
[32:44] Speaker 1: I can make a decision versus lying to me and
[32:47] Speaker 1: they let me find out the truth and then you
[32:50] Speaker 1: put me at risk, Like.
[32:52] Speaker 3: I was like, it's too much I think that, and
[32:54] Speaker 3: I think it's dope that you can handle truth, because
[32:56] Speaker 3: I think that a lot of women ask for that
[32:58] Speaker 3: and they can't handle that. So then it's like men
[33:01] Speaker 3: are like, Okay, if this is what you want, i'll
[33:03] Speaker 3: give you that, and then they do it and it's
[33:05] Speaker 3: like it's not a safe space.
[33:07] Speaker 2: You know what I mean, you told me this is
[33:09] Speaker 2: what you want to give you. I'm being honest.
[33:11] Speaker 3: It's like, see, that's what this is why I don't
[33:13] Speaker 3: say anything.
[33:14] Speaker 1: Yep.
[33:14] Speaker 3: So it's like and I feel like that's another reason
[33:16] Speaker 3: why a lot of men they're not vulnerable because it's
[33:21] Speaker 3: like I tried to do this and you did this,
[33:24] Speaker 3: or it's like and it's not worth the risk of
[33:26] Speaker 3: you leaving.
[33:27] Speaker 2: So I'm just not gonna I'm gonna go back over here.
[33:30] Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say nothing anymore. But it's like, tell
[33:32] Speaker 2: me the truth, tell me the truth.
[33:33] Speaker 3: It's like, I'm not going to tell you the truth
[33:35] Speaker 3: so you can crucify me. I'm telling you the truth
[33:37] Speaker 3: because I owe you that respect. But I think that
[33:41] Speaker 3: there is that that like gray area of people. Tell
[33:44] Speaker 3: me the truth, I can handle it, and it's like, no, babe,
[33:48] Speaker 3: you can't.
[33:49] Speaker 1: Yeah, stop asking that man for the truth. You can't
[33:52] Speaker 1: for real, don't do that. Another question, at what point
[33:56] Speaker 1: did you realize it? Kind of know for me, we
[33:59] Speaker 1: were both raised in a society where like what you
[34:02] Speaker 1: want to do another woman?
[34:03] Speaker 2: Will you better?
[34:04] Speaker 1: Everything is so sexually driven, like you better be sucking,
[34:07] Speaker 1: you better do it all the things because that's what
[34:11] Speaker 1: your man needs. At what point were because I know
[34:14] Speaker 1: for me, it was a point in my life where
[34:16] Speaker 1: I realized sex wasn't everything and that I was giving
[34:22] Speaker 1: way too much in my soul to people who didn't
[34:24] Speaker 1: deserve it. At what point were you like, you know what,
[34:28] Speaker 1: I gotta switching things up, Like I'm giving and just
[34:31] Speaker 1: giving my body away, adding to the body count, and
[34:36] Speaker 1: it's not being appreciated or reciprocated in the way.
[34:38] Speaker 2: That it's feeding my soul. At what point what was
[34:41] Speaker 2: there a revelation where you're like, Okay, yeah, I gotta
[34:44] Speaker 2: switch things up so I can get the type of
[34:45] Speaker 2: love that I want.
[34:46] Speaker 3: You know, it's funny because I think that, like when
[34:49] Speaker 3: I was younger, everybody just wanted sex from me.
[34:52] Speaker 2: Everyone, so I did it. So in my mind I
[34:56] Speaker 2: thought that that's just what you want.
[34:58] Speaker 3: I didn't have to do anything else, you know. So
[35:00] Speaker 3: it wasn't until I started dating this guy. He was
[35:03] Speaker 3: a songwriter, and.
[35:05] Speaker 2: I remember just so romantic.
[35:06] Speaker 3: They really are, they really are, And I remember like
[35:11] Speaker 3: doing all the sexual things and him being like, you know,
[35:15] Speaker 3: it's just not always about that, and I was just
[35:20] Speaker 3: thinking like, oh my gosh, what else is there to do?
[35:23] Speaker 2: M Because I thought this is what keeps you because
[35:25] Speaker 2: that's what we're taught.
[35:27] Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, and and my entire life that's all anybody
[35:32] Speaker 3: ever wanted for me, so I never.
[35:35] Speaker 2: Had to be more, you know.
[35:37] Speaker 3: And I feel like that's like women now, it's like
[35:40] Speaker 3: they look like a lot of men look at them
[35:42] Speaker 3: like they're objects. So they do all the things to
[35:44] Speaker 3: appeal to the to the baller or whatever, and then
[35:48] Speaker 3: it's like, even after all of that, they still don't
[35:50] Speaker 3: want you, and you're like, well, what else do I
[35:52] Speaker 3: really have?
[35:53] Speaker 2: And that was me then, and I didn't know until
[35:55] Speaker 2: a man told me.
[35:56] Speaker 3: I saw somebody that said they said, stop taking advice
[36:00] Speaker 3: from men from women. You need to talk to men
[36:02] Speaker 3: about men. But then I also feel like there's levels
[36:06] Speaker 3: to a man. I can't just throw everybody, you know
[36:09] Speaker 3: what I mean you said it's only there's a certain
[36:10] Speaker 3: ten percent.
[36:11] Speaker 1: Yes, there's a certain caliber man you need to get
[36:14] Speaker 1: advice from exactly.
[36:15] Speaker 2: But they're like with women, it's like everything is off
[36:17] Speaker 2: of their experience. It's like you're not a man. Yeah right,
[36:21] Speaker 2: I'm taking advice from women about men.
[36:23] Speaker 3: But I know that in that situation, my advice was
[36:25] Speaker 3: from him. It was just like everything is not always
[36:28] Speaker 3: about sex. And I remember it was fourth of July.
[36:31] Speaker 2: Girl. I was so embarrassed.
[36:32] Speaker 3: His best friend was dating one of my friends, and
[36:35] Speaker 3: I remember it.
[36:35] Speaker 2: Was like, oh, yeah, wait for your night, and like
[36:38] Speaker 2: we were.
[36:39] Speaker 3: Barbecuing and I went and made myself a plate and
[36:41] Speaker 3: just sat down and he was just like wamn. Like
[36:45] Speaker 3: he was like, you're not even gonna fix my plate.
[36:48] Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I didn't know, wow, and
[36:52] Speaker 2: he was like no, no, no, don't worry about it.
[36:54] Speaker 2: And I was just like I didn't know. Okay. Yeah.
[36:58] Speaker 2: I felt bad though, because I'm like I thought we
[37:02] Speaker 2: were fine, Like.
[37:03] Speaker 3: I probably gave you hell on right here right, you
[37:05] Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, But it's like no, And I
[37:08] Speaker 3: think his issue with me was the fact that I
[37:10] Speaker 3: was a whole because.
[37:11] Speaker 2: It is like, don't you do anything else? Yeah, but
[37:14] Speaker 2: that's how you know, that's what you lead with. Yeah.
[37:17] Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was just like it was like, oh
[37:19] Speaker 3: my gosh, I had an aha moment where it was like,
[37:22] Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like there has to be more. And
[37:25] Speaker 3: it wasn't that I wasn't that because my mother has
[37:28] Speaker 3: always been like the super submissive. Food was always on
[37:32] Speaker 3: the table, clean house, kids are bathed, the whole nine.
[37:37] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
[37:38] Speaker 3: So it wasn't that I didn't grow up seeing that,
[37:41] Speaker 3: but it was just that that's not what I thought
[37:43] Speaker 3: man wanted.
[37:44] Speaker 2: Wow, So I never led with them. Yes, it's so good.
[37:48] Speaker 1: And I feel like our society and influences had a
[37:51] Speaker 1: lot to do with it because I thought the same thing.
[37:53] Speaker 1: I thought that's all they wanted was sex, and now
[37:55] Speaker 1: I thought that was a way to keep a man.
[37:57] Speaker 2: I did, yeah, and I was like I gotta figure
[38:00] Speaker 2: have to.
[38:00] Speaker 1: That's when I started like watching porn to try to
[38:03] Speaker 1: figure out like new tricks and other things to do because.
[38:06] Speaker 2: I was sheltered. I didn't know what to do. So
[38:08] Speaker 2: I was like, well I got to figure out some
[38:10] Speaker 2: new things, you know, or when you watch and You're like,
[38:12] Speaker 2: they can do that right. You're like, I don't know
[38:15] Speaker 2: if I can do it right. You're like, oh.
[38:17] Speaker 3: No, because it's like if it's an easy place to
[38:20] Speaker 3: go to be intimidated, very much like me, if you're
[38:23] Speaker 3: young and you're just you got a new boyfriend, and
[38:25] Speaker 3: it's like, first of all.
[38:26] Speaker 2: Why are you trying to swing from the chandelier? Man?
[38:28] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Why are you doing all
[38:31] Speaker 2: of that? Why are you doing all But it's crazy
[38:33] Speaker 2: because like everything that I was taught was just wrong.
[38:38] Speaker 3: So it's like having to unlearned things now that I'm
[38:43] Speaker 3: in my thirties, Like I have to unlearn that because
[38:46] Speaker 3: this was unhealthy and that doesn't work with this new one.
[38:49] Speaker 2: It doesn't, you know what I mean.
[38:50] Speaker 3: Or you try to go in with like okay, well
[38:51] Speaker 3: I've dated all these people and I have all the things,
[38:54] Speaker 3: but it's just like throw them out, ye keep keep
[38:56] Speaker 3: your three things and everything is not sex all this
[39:00] Speaker 3: like man or hunters like they need it, right they do,
[39:04] Speaker 3: but that's like you said, that's not what's.
[39:06] Speaker 2: Gonna keep them.
[39:08] Speaker 3: So it's like body can't hide low whatever it's I
[39:12] Speaker 3: think it's all. It's all to the person yea, that
[39:17] Speaker 3: that you're with, because it's like you can be you
[39:19] Speaker 3: can be a girl who's only had sex with one
[39:21] Speaker 3: guy and that one.
[39:23] Speaker 2: Guy had you upside down over there, flip.
[39:25] Speaker 3: You all have to do all these things you only
[39:27] Speaker 3: know one person, and then you can have a girl
[39:29] Speaker 3: who's only had sex.
[39:30] Speaker 2: With five people once. Yeah, So it's like who has more.
[39:34] Speaker 3: Exactly which one is more of a I don't want
[39:36] Speaker 3: to say who, but it's a whole, like the amount
[39:39] Speaker 3: of people or the things that you've done exactly right,
[39:43] Speaker 3: Because that's the question too, like what is a whole?
[39:45] Speaker 3: Like is it the amount of people you've had sex
[39:48] Speaker 3: with or what you do with the people? And I
[39:51] Speaker 3: think society looks at a whole it's like or you know,
[39:53] Speaker 3: I'm saying, they've made it.
[39:54] Speaker 2: Where it's the amount of people you've been with. Right,
[39:57] Speaker 2: But men can go do everything and they're not a whole.
[40:00] Speaker 2: They're just being a man. Yeah, they're just being a man.
[40:02] Speaker 2: Women aren't supposed to But why why? I know why?
[40:06] Speaker 2: We're human too. We have feelings, we have emotions, we
[40:09] Speaker 2: have urges.
[40:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, they say women don't. We're not built like that.
[40:13] Speaker 3: We're not built we're emotional creatures.
[40:14] Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like if we find one good one,
[40:17] Speaker 2: we like that one, that's all we want. You know.
[40:19] Speaker 3: Sometimes it's five different ones and you like one thing
[40:21] Speaker 3: from all of them, you know what I'm saying.
[40:23] Speaker 2: That's that's real.
[40:24] Speaker 3: So it's like you I think that the girls who
[40:26] Speaker 3: are being labeled as whose are the ones who are
[40:28] Speaker 3: like openly, like you know, doing the trips and doing
[40:32] Speaker 3: all this and taking this and that, and they're very
[40:34] Speaker 3: upfront about what. But it's like, but why why does
[40:39] Speaker 3: that make her a hole? She's doing what she wants
[40:41] Speaker 3: to do, so it makes her a whole because she's
[40:44] Speaker 3: getting flued out and she's accepting gifts and trips.
[40:47] Speaker 2: They offer that. So it's like she, so you mean
[40:50] Speaker 2: to tell me a who is somebody who ain't got
[40:51] Speaker 2: no discernment? Right?
[40:53] Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, take the trip from one guy,
[40:56] Speaker 3: but what if all of them, this one taking you
[40:58] Speaker 3: to the moundives.
[40:58] Speaker 2: That one taking you to do bay you and you
[41:00] Speaker 2: want to go and I been there? So it got
[41:03] Speaker 2: fluid out.
[41:03] Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm saying, but it's like, is a is a whole?
[41:07] Speaker 3: The lack of discernment, you know what I'm saying. Or
[41:10] Speaker 3: is it like or is it sexual liberation to say
[41:13] Speaker 3: I'm gonna.
[41:14] Speaker 2: Do whatever I want and why do you care? Or
[41:17] Speaker 2: is it because nothing's private anymore?
[41:20] Speaker 1: It's definitely because nothing that's a good it's nothing is
[41:23] Speaker 1: private anymore. But I do feel like we are getting
[41:26] Speaker 1: to a place in society where sexual liberation is more
[41:29] Speaker 1: accepted than it used to be, and women are more
[41:32] Speaker 1: free with saying, yes, I love to have sex, I
[41:34] Speaker 1: love to have sex with different men. They're very comfortable
[41:37] Speaker 1: with coming out of that word before they be like,
[41:40] Speaker 1: I want.
[41:40] Speaker 2: To talk about that, like I even know what I'm doing.
[41:42] Speaker 2: They're gonna lab with me a whole. Women don't care anymore.
[41:44] Speaker 3: They really don't, because you know why, I think that
[41:47] Speaker 3: for a long time, women tried to do the things
[41:50] Speaker 3: and if that didn't work, I'm gonna go do what
[41:53] Speaker 3: I want to do.
[41:53] Speaker 2: Now you get to a point where you like, I'm
[41:54] Speaker 2: gonna do what I want to do. Yeah, because it's like, okay,
[41:56] Speaker 2: you guys, you want me to. You ever saw that video,
[41:59] Speaker 2: it was like, I act like a lady.
[42:01] Speaker 3: Don't do this, don't eat this across your leg and
[42:04] Speaker 3: you sit down, don't wear short skirts. That's that's gonna
[42:07] Speaker 3: entice man wear long dresses. Do this and it's just
[42:10] Speaker 3: like what And it's literally picking us apart. So it's like,
[42:15] Speaker 3: if you know, I know that there's a saying that says,
[42:18] Speaker 3: before you look outward, go anywhere, you know what I mean.
[42:21] Speaker 3: Because it's like I could be doing all the things
[42:22] Speaker 3: and I still haven't found my person or whatever. So
[42:25] Speaker 3: now I'm gonna go be free or whatever. And I
[42:27] Speaker 3: feel like this is the most honest I have ever
[42:30] Speaker 3: been in a relationship. And this is the most loved
[42:33] Speaker 3: I've ever felt in.
[42:34] Speaker 2: A relationship, you know what I mean. And it's just
[42:37] Speaker 2: like he knows.
[42:39] Speaker 3: He's like, we're two retired thoughts that found love, you
[42:42] Speaker 3: know what, because there's also space for that.
[42:45] Speaker 2: So body count at least in my relationship. That don't
[42:49] Speaker 2: matter to us. Yeah, you know what I mean. Like
[42:51] Speaker 2: I'm not surprised. And then I tell him, but we
[42:54] Speaker 2: share stories. I'd be like, oh my god, man, this
[42:56] Speaker 2: is one time he was so musty ball be like, what, man,
[43:04] Speaker 2: that's crazy?
[43:04] Speaker 3: Anybody, Oh man, I never remember one time I was
[43:07] Speaker 3: hitting this one girl and she had a piece of
[43:09] Speaker 3: toilet tissue in the back in her butt crack and
[43:12] Speaker 3: I was like, did you take it out?
[43:13] Speaker 2: And he was like, I just took it out and
[43:15] Speaker 2: I didn't stop. But I was just like, oh, y'all,
[43:17] Speaker 2: like we share stories.
[43:19] Speaker 3: I love it, you know where It's just like I
[43:22] Speaker 3: remember having to like not say too much or whatever
[43:26] Speaker 3: in my relationship to because you gonna run them away
[43:28] Speaker 3: or they'd be like yeah, but at the end of
[43:30] Speaker 3: the day, you lying about your truth doesn't make you
[43:34] Speaker 3: an honest person.
[43:36] Speaker 2: Wow. You know what I'm saying. That's a nugget.
[43:38] Speaker 1: You lying about your truth does not make you an
[43:40] Speaker 1: honest person.
[43:41] Speaker 3: That's good, yeah, because it's like, Okay, I'm in this
[43:43] Speaker 3: relationship and I'm lying about all the men that I've
[43:46] Speaker 3: had sex with, so he thinks I'm whole. Yeah, but
[43:49] Speaker 3: that doesn't define my wholeness exactly, and that doesn't make
[43:53] Speaker 3: me like worthy or an honest person or whatever.
[43:56] Speaker 2: It's just like I'm lying to you to to you know,
[44:00] Speaker 2: but I'm still that person.
[44:02] Speaker 3: I still have all that baggage, I still have all
[44:04] Speaker 3: those bodies who you are today.
[44:06] Speaker 2: Yes, you're welcome you like that thing that I did.
[44:10] Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, you ain't gonna see
[44:12] Speaker 2: where I got it from. I got it from gosh, right.
[44:17] Speaker 3: But it's just like I have to like dim my
[44:20] Speaker 3: whole life to make you feel comfortable.
[44:23] Speaker 2: Wow, I'm not dimming my whole life. Yeah. Yeah, I'm grown.
[44:29] Speaker 2: I'm grown.
[44:30] Speaker 3: And the great part for me is the fact that
[44:33] Speaker 3: it was prior to social media.
[44:35] Speaker 2: So that was your word against mine, period. Right, They're
[44:38] Speaker 2: not gonna lie, right, you know what I'm saying.
[44:41] Speaker 3: But I think people just put so much on a
[44:44] Speaker 3: body count as if that makes you whole summer now,
[44:47] Speaker 3: and that's not fair.
[44:48] Speaker 2: That's true. I don't want no whole some man, and
[44:52] Speaker 2: I don't want no low body count. Man. I don't either.
[44:55] Speaker 3: I ain't saying I want Will Chamberlain now, but but
[45:01] Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
[45:02] Speaker 1: Yes, I love that you are walking in your truth
[45:05] Speaker 1: and I feel like that is why you are in
[45:08] Speaker 1: the space that you.
[45:09] Speaker 2: Are in your life. And I feel like if more
[45:11] Speaker 2: people just owned.
[45:13] Speaker 1: Who they are the mistakes they've made, I think other
[45:16] Speaker 1: people be more.
[45:17] Speaker 2: Willing to receive it.
[45:18] Speaker 1: And you be really surprised when you walk in your
[45:20] Speaker 1: life and say, hey, this is what I've done, who
[45:22] Speaker 1: I've been.
[45:22] Speaker 2: You know, I'm saying people that you trust.
[45:24] Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, but like own it and
[45:26] Speaker 1: not try to act like you're something that you're not.
[45:28] Speaker 1: One you're going to be more relatable to a lot
[45:30] Speaker 1: of people because a lot of people are walking they're
[45:32] Speaker 1: literally walking under a costume of something that but that
[45:36] Speaker 1: they're not.
[45:36] Speaker 2: They have a mask on. They're not being true to
[45:39] Speaker 2: themselves and wondering why they haven't.
[45:41] Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, gotten further because you're not being
[45:44] Speaker 1: honest with who you are.
[45:45] Speaker 2: People need to see the real you, you know. So I
[45:48] Speaker 2: love that.
[45:48] Speaker 1: I love that you're walking in your truth. And then
[45:49] Speaker 1: I love that you found love than you know and
[45:52] Speaker 1: that yeah, I.
[45:55] Speaker 3: Know.
[45:56] Speaker 1: So let's talk about the journey that you azed because
[46:00] Speaker 1: you've made a comment about you felt like sex was
[46:03] Speaker 1: all you had to offer and that's all they wanted.
[46:06] Speaker 1: At what point what was the journey like where you realize, hey,
[46:09] Speaker 1: maybe there are things that besides you talked about how
[46:12] Speaker 1: the guy you went to the cookout and I sat.
[46:15] Speaker 2: Down and didn't. He's like, but you do know there's
[46:17] Speaker 2: more than sex. Tearing that chicken up in his face,
[46:19] Speaker 2: He's like, we're mine, right?
[46:22] Speaker 1: At what point was that a pivotal point And like,
[46:25] Speaker 1: at what point did you realize okay, And what was
[46:27] Speaker 1: that journey like to you realizing I've got to do
[46:29] Speaker 1: more than just give my body?
[46:30] Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, So I remember, like I said, I
[46:33] Speaker 3: grew up seeing that, So it's not that I didn't know,
[46:36] Speaker 3: but I just didn't think that's.
[46:37] Speaker 2: What they wanted.
[46:38] Speaker 3: So I had that epiphany, not epiphany, I had that
[46:40] Speaker 3: come to Jesus moment with my boyfriend at the time,
[46:43] Speaker 3: and then I found myself trying.
[46:44] Speaker 2: To just do a little bit more. But I'll never
[46:48] Speaker 2: forget I was dating this guy. It's always I was
[46:50] Speaker 2: dating this guy. Yeah, there's this guy.
[46:54] Speaker 3: And he didn't have any food in his fridge and
[46:57] Speaker 3: he had like just moved to the city and I
[46:58] Speaker 3: was like, okay, he was there for only a little bit.
[47:00] Speaker 3: He was like playing basketball, and I was like, okay,
[47:03] Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the grocery store and stock his fridge.
[47:06] Speaker 3: App And I remember going to the grocery store, like.
[47:09] Speaker 2: In the blazing heat and going and like had a
[47:13] Speaker 2: cart and I went.
[47:14] Speaker 3: I even took the cart back from the store and
[47:18] Speaker 3: lugged it all the way to the house and it
[47:20] Speaker 3: was like, this is before Uber and all of that.
[47:22] Speaker 2: So like I'm on two feet.
[47:24] Speaker 3: What they call it, Jerry, I'm on literally yeah, like
[47:28] Speaker 3: I'm literally walking in the blazing heat, pushing a freaking
[47:31] Speaker 3: grocery cart from Walmart, like and about him pops and pans, towels, food,
[47:37] Speaker 3: like you are me?
[47:39] Speaker 2: That all the things right? Because I want you to
[47:41] Speaker 2: ask me if I see dumb's gonna do it?
[47:43] Speaker 3: So I did all the stuff, and I remember, I remember,
[47:47] Speaker 3: like I didn't know.
[47:48] Speaker 2: I was trying to just do laundry.
[47:50] Speaker 3: I remember washing the white towels and the black towels
[47:52] Speaker 3: together and they were new, so you know the white
[47:55] Speaker 3: towers turned gray, Yeah, they turned gray. And I was like,
[48:00] Speaker 3: oh man, Like I really was trying to do all
[48:02] Speaker 3: the things, and all I wanted us to do was
[48:04] Speaker 3: just sit down and have dinner together.
[48:06] Speaker 2: But he just did. He was just acting funny, and
[48:08] Speaker 2: I was like, what's wrong with you? I was like,
[48:09] Speaker 2: I saw that you didn't have all the summer. I
[48:12] Speaker 2: went to the store and I got you all these
[48:14] Speaker 2: things and blah blah blah. He was like, I didn't
[48:15] Speaker 2: ask you to do that.
[48:17] Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't ask you to do That's like a
[48:20] Speaker 1: slap in the face, right.
[48:21] Speaker 3: And I'm just like, but in my mind, it's like,
[48:25] Speaker 3: but you needed it. But with him not having he
[48:29] Speaker 3: didn't have mommy issues. He was the type that was
[48:31] Speaker 3: like I don't.
[48:32] Speaker 2: Want my woman doing that. Wow.
[48:35] Speaker 3: So it's like if I can't do it and you
[48:38] Speaker 3: do it, you make me look.
[48:39] Speaker 2: Like I'm less of a man.
[48:41] Speaker 3: Wow, Because I should have been the one to fill
[48:44] Speaker 3: that fridge up before you got here.
[48:45] Speaker 2: I didn't have a chance to do it.
[48:47] Speaker 3: I didn't express that to you because if he had,
[48:50] Speaker 3: I would have waited till he got done with practice.
[48:51] Speaker 2: We could have went to the grocery store, you know
[48:53] Speaker 2: what I'm saying.
[48:53] Speaker 3: But me just being I'm a forward thinker, Like before
[48:57] Speaker 3: you know, like my guy has to do anything, I'm
[48:59] Speaker 3: always like.
[49:00] Speaker 2: Okay, we gotta do this. We gotta make sure he
[49:01] Speaker 2: has this, he's gonna need this.
[49:03] Speaker 3: Packing my snack like all I think before you can
[49:06] Speaker 3: even hey, where's my in?
[49:08] Speaker 2: There isn't there? Sorry in the car ready? And that's
[49:11] Speaker 2: just that's what works for me.
[49:13] Speaker 3: I like to be on top of things, especially in
[49:15] Speaker 3: my relationship. Yeah, which is crazy because I'm like, if
[49:18] Speaker 3: I had that same energy in my life, ma'am AnyWho
[49:23] Speaker 3: bring the back?
[49:25] Speaker 2: No, but.
[49:27] Speaker 3: I thought he was mad at me, like, but it
[49:29] Speaker 3: was really that like I made him feel bad and
[49:33] Speaker 3: he didn't really know how.
[49:34] Speaker 2: To deal with feelings like yeah.
[49:37] Speaker 3: And it wasn't that he didn't appreciate it, but it
[49:40] Speaker 3: was like it really highlighted what he didn't have together
[49:44] Speaker 3: before I came into.
[49:45] Speaker 1: Yeah, and that was thing. He's like, I didn't have
[49:46] Speaker 1: time and I should have. Yeah, you've done it. Now
[49:49] Speaker 1: I feel bad because I didn't do it.
[49:50] Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like just be like he could have
[49:53] Speaker 2: just been like the hand bag. I've had so much
[49:55] Speaker 2: going on.
[49:55] Speaker 3: I have so much going on. I promise you it
[49:57] Speaker 3: was on my mind. I hate that you had to
[49:59] Speaker 3: do that, but I'm so great.
[50:00] Speaker 2: You know.
[50:00] Speaker 3: They wasn't talking like that then, the damn sure not
[50:02] Speaker 3: talking like that now.
[50:03] Speaker 2: It's hard for people.
[50:04] Speaker 3: To really express themself like that, especially like when you
[50:07] Speaker 3: come into a person's life and you're doing something that
[50:09] Speaker 3: they've never experienced.
[50:10] Speaker 2: They don't know how to handle it. They they don't
[50:13] Speaker 2: know what to do. I say, thank you do it.
[50:16] Speaker 3: Like, well, I don't know what to do, right, you
[50:19] Speaker 3: know what I mean? And I think I think that
[50:21] Speaker 3: with men, at least with the men that I've dealt
[50:23] Speaker 3: with who have had these kinds of conversations with, it's
[50:25] Speaker 3: always like I don't know how to say like you're
[50:28] Speaker 3: not taught to You're not taught to say like I
[50:31] Speaker 3: don't know.
[50:32] Speaker 2: How to do something. You're always taught to just figure
[50:34] Speaker 2: it out.
[50:35] Speaker 3: So but in the situation where like you might have
[50:38] Speaker 3: to say like I dropped the ball, you have to
[50:40] Speaker 3: have accountability or say like I honestly just didn't know.
[50:45] Speaker 2: You don't know how to.
[50:45] Speaker 3: Do that because you you weren't taught how to do
[50:48] Speaker 3: that exactly, you.
[50:49] Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying. So and so for me, it was.
[50:51] Speaker 3: Like, Okay, the body stuff didn't work, and then I
[50:54] Speaker 3: try to be thoughtful that didn't work, and it's just
[50:56] Speaker 3: like wtf, Yeah.
[50:59] Speaker 2: You know, like it's they're like I wanted.
[51:01] Speaker 3: I feel like I wanted to be that person for somebody,
[51:03] Speaker 3: especially once I once I got the game from him
[51:06] Speaker 3: saying like it's not all about that. Yes, I tried
[51:09] Speaker 3: to like I still lead with that in a lot
[51:11] Speaker 3: of ways, but then I tried to be like, Okay,
[51:13] Speaker 3: I'm a lead with this so they can know I'm
[51:15] Speaker 3: like this, and then.
[51:16] Speaker 1: I got I'm really gonna kills size.
[51:20] Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but not everybody.
[51:22] Speaker 3: You know, Like I dated a guy who never wanted
[51:24] Speaker 3: me to make the bed. He's like, that's a maidstude, But.
[51:27] Speaker 2: Do you have a maid? Did he have a maid?
[51:29] Speaker 2: It was Auntie, she came in and clean that.
[51:34] Speaker 3: No, but you know, so like it's just different.
[51:41] Speaker 2: It's like not everybody wants you.
[51:42] Speaker 3: It's like they want you to be domesticated, but they
[51:44] Speaker 3: don't want.
[51:47] Speaker 2: But it's like levels to it. It is like there's
[51:49] Speaker 2: different levels with different men. Yeah, he's like, I don't
[51:51] Speaker 2: want you doing this, Like that's peasantry, is it? Tho?
[51:55] Speaker 2: I'm just looking up groceries.
[51:56] Speaker 3: Like there's some guys who are just like I don't
[51:58] Speaker 3: want you to lift a finger, and then there's other
[51:59] Speaker 3: ones who were like, oh, thank you so much for
[52:01] Speaker 3: going to public for me.
[52:02] Speaker 2: I didn't have time. Yeah you know what I mean.
[52:04] Speaker 2: And I think that my guy now is like he he.
[52:08] Speaker 3: Just he just expressed not that's the word I'm looking for.
[52:12] Speaker 3: Accept everything, like oh man, you ain't got.
[52:15] Speaker 2: This, Oh man, you got that? Oh yes, that makes
[52:20] Speaker 2: you feel good.
[52:20] Speaker 3: I feel appreciated for efforts, yes, and you know, but
[52:25] Speaker 3: it was definitely a journey trying to figure that out.
[52:28] Speaker 2: But I think it's each person.
[52:32] Speaker 1: Yeah, because you see, like you've named different standards of
[52:34] Speaker 1: different me in head like one guy didn't want to
[52:36] Speaker 1: sit in the finger of other person, was like, don't
[52:38] Speaker 1: do this.
[52:38] Speaker 3: And even in like my sex life, it's like okay,
[52:41] Speaker 3: like you know, as a.
[52:43] Speaker 2: Former whole, like I have O. I love how she
[52:46] Speaker 2: says as.
[52:47] Speaker 3: A former as a former whole, like you know, like
[52:50] Speaker 3: it's twenty twenty three, so I'm only got one body now.
[52:54] Speaker 2: But it's right, you know what I'm saying, but your
[52:55] Speaker 2: new me, but you know, new year, knew she.
[53:00] Speaker 3: But like even trying to like navigate like you can't
[53:04] Speaker 3: go in there and thinking that everybody going like one thing,
[53:07] Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, it's like, okay, you got
[53:09] Speaker 3: to keep him saves, like you gotta do all this,
[53:10] Speaker 3: but it's just like you do this, oh he don't
[53:12] Speaker 3: like that, then you gotta do this, but oh that
[53:14] Speaker 3: one like this, but this one didn't, and you're just
[53:17] Speaker 3: like and then it's just like you know, I'm just
[53:18] Speaker 3: gonna save this with my husband because this is just
[53:20] Speaker 3: this is just getting to ghetto.
[53:24] Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gettle. You know.
[53:27] Speaker 1: Let's talk about sexual health because I know, for me,
[53:33] Speaker 1: I've definitely.
[53:33] Speaker 2: Had unprotected sex. Like I'm not gonna say and be
[53:36] Speaker 2: like I've only used.
[53:40] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, would you see the episodes, you're double what
[53:42] Speaker 1: I'm talking.
[53:44] Speaker 2: But I have I've had I've had unprotected sex.
[53:47] Speaker 1: And like I told you, my mother would always say,
[53:49] Speaker 1: getting pregnant is not.
[53:50] Speaker 2: The worst thing that can happen. And I used to
[53:53] Speaker 2: always be afraid of that.
[53:54] Speaker 1: But me and would they always like, well, it feels
[53:57] Speaker 1: better without a kindom, So like I knew also using
[54:00] Speaker 1: a condom. And I wasn't like, let me see your
[54:04] Speaker 1: your examination papers and your tests and make sure that
[54:06] Speaker 1: you're negative on everything until I got older.
[54:10] Speaker 2: You know.
[54:11] Speaker 1: It wasn't until I got older and more responsible and
[54:14] Speaker 1: just understanding that that health literally affects all the other
[54:20] Speaker 1: hells that you have going on unside your body and
[54:22] Speaker 1: the things that people can like give tape from one
[54:24] Speaker 1: person gives you. Has there ever been a situation where
[54:28] Speaker 1: you had like any scares or any like where you decided,
[54:32] Speaker 1: you know what, like I got to be more careful
[54:34] Speaker 1: because you know, I know, we had moments in our
[54:37] Speaker 1: life where we just free, we want to whatever I
[54:39] Speaker 1: mean wants since we want to do you know, if
[54:40] Speaker 1: it's and it's pleasure for us too, Like for me,
[54:44] Speaker 1: like condoms that I have to use certain types of
[54:46] Speaker 1: condoms because I like it just does not agree with me,
[54:50] Speaker 1: like if it's like yeah, like drives up and yeah,
[54:54] Speaker 1: like it's bad.
[54:54] Speaker 2: I used to hate when people said that, my girl,
[54:56] Speaker 2: you just want to do it, but not really am
[54:59] Speaker 2: tho know what? So what kind of lamb have used?
[55:02] Speaker 2: Lamb skin? No way? So that means you have to
[55:05] Speaker 2: provide your own? Yeah, yeah I haven't. Wow. Is it better? Yeah?
[55:10] Speaker 2: And I actually like it because it really feels closer
[55:12] Speaker 2: to skin.
[55:13] Speaker 3: Wow.
[55:15] Speaker 2: I just had a lamb chop the other day. Wow.
[55:20] Speaker 3: You know I've never It's funny you say that because
[55:21] Speaker 3: I've never asked someone like, hey, like what are your
[55:24] Speaker 3: test results? Or have you gotten tested lately or whatever?
[55:27] Speaker 3: Because I always felt like, oh my gosh, I'm the
[55:29] Speaker 3: one who's out here doing all this stuff and they
[55:32] Speaker 3: don't ask.
[55:32] Speaker 2: Me ask them.
[55:34] Speaker 3: Yeah, And then I've been in relationships where like I
[55:36] Speaker 3: will go get tested and the guy wouldn't, and he'll
[55:38] Speaker 3: be like were good, and I'm like, are you good?
[55:41] Speaker 2: No, because no, I'm saying I know I'm good, but
[55:42] Speaker 2: he asking are you good to go?
[55:44] Speaker 3: But it's like if we're having to protected sex and
[55:46] Speaker 3: I go and I'm fine that he knows he's good,
[55:48] Speaker 3: then he's okay too.
[55:50] Speaker 1: And that's not always the case, because can lie dormant
[55:52] Speaker 1: in you? Yeah, because my mom used to always say
[55:54] Speaker 1: that too. She was like, just just because you test negative,
[55:57] Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's not in you.
[55:58] Speaker 2: Someone works God. She was like, fear of God.
[56:01] Speaker 1: I was like, lords my face, a lot of dormin
[56:04] Speaker 1: anybody for years and then to pop up and you
[56:06] Speaker 1: hadn't had sex with all these people and I was like,
[56:09] Speaker 1: you're right.
[56:10] Speaker 2: So he's like, Mom, but I recently was.
[56:15] Speaker 1: I was talking to this guy and we didn't end
[56:19] Speaker 1: up having sex, but he had us scare because somebody
[56:23] Speaker 1: that he was close to ended up getting exposed for
[56:27] Speaker 1: having herpes and.
[56:29] Speaker 2: Like it broke up his marriage. It was like a
[56:30] Speaker 2: big deal.
[56:31] Speaker 1: And because he knew he was out in these streets,
[56:34] Speaker 1: he was like, oh, let me go get tested and
[56:36] Speaker 1: he sent me like we have first started talking. He
[56:38] Speaker 1: was like, I just want you know I'm good, so
[56:40] Speaker 1: he said it so I could actually see and that
[56:41] Speaker 1: was the first person who actually, even without asking, had
[56:44] Speaker 1: showed me.
[56:45] Speaker 2: His test results. And I was like, oh, wow, well
[56:46] Speaker 2: I just.
[56:47] Speaker 1: Got my PEP and got everything testy.
[56:51] Speaker 2: Yes.
[56:52] Speaker 1: And I was just telling someone like I started even
[56:54] Speaker 1: getting my blood drawn because you know, a lot of
[56:56] Speaker 1: times they don't tested that every time. So I'm like,
[56:59] Speaker 1: go ahead and draw the blood and test her everything,
[57:02] Speaker 1: not just what you get in the culture from the
[57:04] Speaker 1: vagina sample.
[57:05] Speaker 2: And because a lot of people forget that.
[57:07] Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know it's funny, they won't test you
[57:10] Speaker 3: for herpes unless you ask them, yep, because it's so
[57:14] Speaker 3: funny because like I recently, I got my path and
[57:17] Speaker 3: then I went back because I was trying to find
[57:19] Speaker 3: somebody here and and I was asking her just about
[57:24] Speaker 3: Steff and she was just like, you know, typically we
[57:26] Speaker 3: don't test people unless they're having an outbreak because if not,
[57:29] Speaker 3: it can ruin someone's it can ruin someone's day.
[57:32] Speaker 2: And she was like, yeah, we just don't test that.
[57:34] Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I was like, can you just
[57:36] Speaker 3: do my blood work because she was like, well, what
[57:38] Speaker 3: do you want to do blood work for? And I'm
[57:39] Speaker 3: just like that like that was the thing, and she said, well,
[57:43] Speaker 3: we typically don't, like unless you want me to, then
[57:45] Speaker 3: I will.
[57:45] Speaker 2: But I'm like, yeah, yeah, matter of fact, Yeah I
[57:49] Speaker 2: still got to live. But like they they won't, Yeah,
[57:52] Speaker 2: they won't.
[57:52] Speaker 1: And you know what, I think, herpes is like one
[57:55] Speaker 1: of the most like statistically like sony people have it.
[57:59] Speaker 2: Yes, and that's probably even it's just the one on
[58:03] Speaker 2: the mouth. Yeah yeah, yep, it's all types of types
[58:06] Speaker 2: of it.
[58:06] Speaker 1: But like there are so many people that have it,
[58:09] Speaker 1: and it's probably because y'all ain't testing people for it
[58:11] Speaker 1: until they have outbreaks. A lot of that stuff can
[58:13] Speaker 1: probably prevent it if like us people people are like, no,
[58:17] Speaker 1: test me for everything.
[58:18] Speaker 3: Yeah, do the blood, don't just do the swap from
[58:20] Speaker 3: the past. Yeah, that's the real thing is never had
[58:24] Speaker 3: a pregnancy scare. I've been on birth control for like
[58:27] Speaker 3: twenty years. Not on it now because I'm like I'm
[58:29] Speaker 3: older now, I'm like I want to just see what
[58:31] Speaker 3: I need because I remember I went to a fertility
[58:33] Speaker 3: doctor and I was like, I need to know what
[58:34] Speaker 3: these eggs doing.
[58:35] Speaker 2: She's like, you ain't got nothing. You've been on birth
[58:36] Speaker 2: control all this time. What She's like, you have to
[58:40] Speaker 2: be off of it for a time for your body
[58:42] Speaker 2: to actually produce that. I did not know that.
[58:45] Speaker 1: I was today years old to know that, like Birke
[58:47] Speaker 1: controls stopped the eggs.
[58:49] Speaker 2: Yes.
[58:49] Speaker 3: She was like, so you won't know until like so
[58:52] Speaker 3: I only had Yeah. So she was like, it suppresses
[58:54] Speaker 3: you from ovulating, so like you won't have eggs.
[58:57] Speaker 2: I was like what. So she was like, get off
[58:59] Speaker 2: the pill.
[59:00] Speaker 3: How your body does in a couple of months, and
[59:01] Speaker 3: then go see a fertility doctor and just check your count.
[59:04] Speaker 3: And then once you do at your age, they try
[59:07] Speaker 3: to make it seem like it's high risk. I see
[59:09] Speaker 3: people getting pregnant at forty years old. Yeah, don't don't
[59:11] Speaker 3: play with me. And they're like, because I'm considered high
[59:15] Speaker 3: risk now because I'm in my thirties, that I need
[59:19] Speaker 3: to freeze them.
[59:20] Speaker 2: Yep, yep, I'm at that place. It's so expensive.
[59:23] Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends that have a year, yeah,
[59:26] Speaker 1: for just to rent the space to store the eggs,
[59:28] Speaker 1: and that doesn't it's like twenty or thirty thousand to
[59:31] Speaker 1: do the whole process, and then you have to pay
[59:33] Speaker 1: rent for the eggs.
[59:35] Speaker 2: I gotta pay rent. I gotta pay rented for the
[59:40] Speaker 2: future children. Yes, child, Nope, it's a real thing.
[59:43] Speaker 1: It's a real thing, and that's something I'm going through
[59:45] Speaker 1: as well, just as I just turned forty and not
[59:49] Speaker 1: being in a relationship one like, is that stilling the
[59:51] Speaker 1: cars for me?
[59:52] Speaker 2: Can I even still have children? Are you on the pill? No?
[59:56] Speaker 2: But I haven't six either?
[59:57] Speaker 1: You someone post for Yeah, he was like yea, like
[1:00:00] Speaker 1: I'm d D and then ask it to I have, Yeah.
[1:00:05] Speaker 2: It's a drought. No, I'm not having six, So like
[1:00:07] Speaker 2: we'll go see for till Yeah.
[1:00:10] Speaker 1: I did get my levels checked. The hormone level that
[1:00:13] Speaker 1: lets you know if you're still like producing eggs at
[1:00:15] Speaker 1: a high rate, and there it's very high for.
[1:00:17] Speaker 2: Our eight from our age. Really where'd you go?
[1:00:19] Speaker 1: Actually, my I go to the Healthy Woman that's where
[1:00:23] Speaker 1: my doctor is, and she she checked at all the
[1:00:26] Speaker 1: levels because I was wanting to know before I went
[1:00:28] Speaker 1: to a fertility doctor. I was like, can you just
[1:00:29] Speaker 1: is there something that you can do?
[1:00:31] Speaker 2: So there's oh, there's levels to it. Oh yeah, okay, yeah,
[1:00:34] Speaker 2: so that was included in my past.
[1:00:35] Speaker 1: She did that when I did my path and I
[1:00:37] Speaker 1: checked for like fibroids and all that stuff.
[1:00:39] Speaker 2: Yeah, fibroids. Yeah, I have one, she said.
[1:00:42] Speaker 3: It's just She's like, honestly, it's it's it's just it's
[1:00:45] Speaker 3: She's like, it's so small.
[1:00:46] Speaker 2: I wouldn't even worried about worry about it.
[1:00:48] Speaker 3: But it's just like because she was doing my path
[1:00:50] Speaker 3: and she was like, I think I let me give
[1:00:52] Speaker 3: your ultrasound and I was like, then she showed it
[1:00:54] Speaker 3: to me and was so tiny, and she's like I'm thinking, like,
[1:00:56] Speaker 3: how did you feel that?
[1:00:57] Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you're trained to do that, yeah, you
[1:00:59] Speaker 2: know what.
[1:01:00] Speaker 3: But no, never been pregnant before, never had any real
[1:01:04] Speaker 3: scares outside of like the first time experiencing BB.
[1:01:09] Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought listen. That was during that
[1:01:12] Speaker 1: phase where like it's too many.
[1:01:14] Speaker 3: Yes people when your pH gets thrown off, Like I
[1:01:20] Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, what do I do?
[1:01:21] Speaker 2: I don't know. I can't tell my mom. So my
[1:01:23] Speaker 2: oldest sister took me to planned parents. One time.
[1:01:27] Speaker 3: I was playing with that whipped cream girl and that
[1:01:30] Speaker 3: whip cream and that bacteria did not sit because I
[1:01:34] Speaker 3: was like, if you've never had BB, which is bacteria vaginosis,
[1:01:38] Speaker 3: it is like it's it's sinse, yeah, it's and you'll
[1:01:45] Speaker 3: be like internal, like because I'm the type of person
[1:01:48] Speaker 3: like I always smell my panties when I peek, you know,
[1:01:51] Speaker 3: and like I always you know, so I remember, it's
[1:01:54] Speaker 3: just like it's strong.
[1:01:56] Speaker 2: And the longer you wait.
[1:01:58] Speaker 3: You remember going to a planned parenthood and then they
[1:02:01] Speaker 3: you know, I ended up being a.
[1:02:02] Speaker 2: BB and I was just like, what is that? Am
[1:02:04] Speaker 2: I gonna die?
[1:02:05] Speaker 3: He's like, no, girl, yeah, bacteria, infection, your pH is
[1:02:08] Speaker 3: all here. Here, take these feels your yeah, And I
[1:02:11] Speaker 3: was just like what but yeah, just not being educated
[1:02:14] Speaker 3: to know like what these things mean, like different symptoms.
[1:02:18] Speaker 2: Like I remember for my first time having a UTI,
[1:02:20] Speaker 2: I'm like.
[1:02:21] Speaker 1: I've never experienced that with my I know a lot
[1:02:23] Speaker 1: of friends have had UTIs, and I'm like, I don't
[1:02:25] Speaker 1: never want that because it sounds so painful.
[1:02:26] Speaker 2: Oh, it's so painful.
[1:02:27] Speaker 3: It was to the point where it's like I was
[1:02:29] Speaker 3: paying like every ten seconds. At this point, I put
[1:02:31] Speaker 3: on an overnight pad. I said, I'm not playing with shies.
[1:02:33] Speaker 3: Then I was just I was just pissing and.
[1:02:36] Speaker 2: Going I had things to do. You think I'm gonna
[1:02:38] Speaker 2: stop and.
[1:02:39] Speaker 3: Go pee every time I got this overnight pad on,
[1:02:40] Speaker 3: I'm just gonna piss.
[1:02:41] Speaker 2: These little three drops and get on with my mans.
[1:02:44] Speaker 2: I got things to do. I can't keep I can't
[1:02:46] Speaker 2: keep going.
[1:02:47] Speaker 3: Oh but I will tell you for all my homeopathic people,
[1:02:50] Speaker 3: apple side of vinegar, apple side of vinegar. Put it
[1:02:53] Speaker 3: in water. That will like that'll help you pee more,
[1:02:56] Speaker 3: and azo pills. Because I was like I need anything.
[1:02:59] Speaker 3: Was Thanksgiving, I was like, I had that diaper wrong, girl.
[1:03:02] Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I got I gotta cook. Excuse
[1:03:06] Speaker 3: myself to the bathroom.
[1:03:07] Speaker 2: Wash my hands on. My hands are wrong making chicken.
[1:03:10] Speaker 3: It's too much going on. I had a diaper wrong, girl.
[1:03:13] Speaker 3: I'm not playing with you today. You I'm not going
[1:03:17] Speaker 3: to for these three drives, right.
[1:03:19] Speaker 2: Diaper is true?
[1:03:24] Speaker 3: But it's like and then women should know their bodies too,
[1:03:27] Speaker 3: like know what like you know, like just that like
[1:03:32] Speaker 3: you're peeing frequently or whatever and it's coming.
[1:03:34] Speaker 2: What does it look like? Is it clear? Is it's
[1:03:35] Speaker 2: super yellow? Like the color all those.
[1:03:37] Speaker 3: Things even like down to like your discharge, like the
[1:03:40] Speaker 3: texture of it and the color, the color, the smell,
[1:03:43] Speaker 3: like knowing what all that stuff means?
[1:03:46] Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Because I know that like.
[1:03:48] Speaker 3: Different people are like have different textures you know what
[1:03:52] Speaker 3: I'm saying. When I got my pepsmear, I'm asking her,
[1:03:56] Speaker 3: I'm like, is everything cool?
[1:03:57] Speaker 2: She was like she was like talking about my texture.
[1:04:01] Speaker 3: She was like she was like, yep, nice and milky, yeah,
[1:04:04] Speaker 3: nice healthy vagina. I was just like and I was like,
[1:04:07] Speaker 3: oh my gosh, thinking about all the times I was
[1:04:09] Speaker 3: called me Marie.
[1:04:10] Speaker 2: And I like, oh gosh, freaking ice cream trucks.
[1:04:17] Speaker 3: But yeah, but like you know, just knowing like like
[1:04:21] Speaker 3: there's different shades of normal. Yes, you know what I mean,
[1:04:25] Speaker 3: Like you're gonna be like this, and like you're like this.
[1:04:27] Speaker 3: And then also having like girlfriends to talk to. And
[1:04:31] Speaker 3: I remember like I've always had like a space of girlfriends,
[1:04:34] Speaker 3: so we always talked about like pH and SAgs and
[1:04:37] Speaker 3: vaginas and what they looked like.
[1:04:39] Speaker 2: I remember being I was a cheerleader, like all of.
[1:04:43] Speaker 3: All of the girls was bottom bottom down, like showing
[1:04:47] Speaker 3: everyone was showing their privates, like not in a like
[1:04:50] Speaker 3: kind of way. We were just like, oh, this is
[1:04:51] Speaker 3: how mine looks like, this is what I looks like, Oh,
[1:04:54] Speaker 3: yours looks like mine, And like everybody was just like
[1:04:56] Speaker 3: we weren't taught, like Okay, there's so many different variations
[1:05:02] Speaker 3: of yes about Volva, you know, yes, and it's like
[1:05:08] Speaker 3: they all kind of look different but it's the same
[1:05:11] Speaker 3: but not. And you know, and I remember like it
[1:05:14] Speaker 3: was like sixteen of us on the squad and it
[1:05:16] Speaker 3: was like.
[1:05:16] Speaker 2: Sixteen different ones. Yep, you know what I mean. And
[1:05:19] Speaker 2: that's another thing.
[1:05:20] Speaker 3: And I think that it's so funny because like men,
[1:05:23] Speaker 3: I remember I was doing interviews on like Southeast this
[1:05:27] Speaker 3: forever ago, and I had like a little flip camera
[1:05:29] Speaker 3: and I was interviewing someone and it's like, you know,
[1:05:31] Speaker 3: like there's.
[1:05:31] Speaker 2: Like the innier audi whatever. Right.
[1:05:34] Speaker 3: I remember asking someone I was like, any your audi
[1:05:37] Speaker 3: and he was like any And I was like why
[1:05:38] Speaker 3: and he was like, because if you the audi, it
[1:05:41] Speaker 3: just makes you feel like they've just they've had a
[1:05:43] Speaker 3: lot of session and it's been ran through. And I'm
[1:05:46] Speaker 3: just like, that's not what that means.
[1:05:48] Speaker 2: Like look at porn Star. That's what I was about
[1:05:50] Speaker 2: to say. Now I didn't seen some raggedy looking vagina.
[1:05:54] Speaker 2: I raged. I'm like, is that because you had a
[1:05:57] Speaker 2: baby or is that too much? Su ran through its?
[1:06:03] Speaker 3: So some of them some of them are just raggedy,
[1:06:05] Speaker 3: Like thank you, I don't want to call them raggedy.
[1:06:08] Speaker 2: Some of the things I'd be like, I can't like
[1:06:12] Speaker 2: next different video.
[1:06:14] Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean like there's there's different variations that
[1:06:16] Speaker 3: I can only imagine. With man at least, you know,
[1:06:19] Speaker 3: some guys are like they're not even looking at it as.
[1:06:23] Speaker 2: Long as it feels good. Yeah, they're not looking at it.
[1:06:25] Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not like the man.
[1:06:27] Speaker 3: Like, a lot of men are not going down on
[1:06:29] Speaker 3: every girl that they have, so they don't even.
[1:06:31] Speaker 2: Know what one really looks like in a relationship.
[1:06:35] Speaker 3: All of them look like yeah, but it's like and
[1:06:37] Speaker 3: you hit it from you don't even see it, and
[1:06:40] Speaker 3: then you see one that's different, You're just like, wait
[1:06:43] Speaker 3: a minute.
[1:06:44] Speaker 2: It's like you're like, hold on, but I mean.
[1:06:45] Speaker 1: That's just that's just And that's the same thing with Dix,
[1:06:49] Speaker 1: Like they're all different.
[1:06:50] Speaker 2: You think everything is all different.
[1:06:52] Speaker 1: If everybody had the same everything, that's a very boring world.
[1:06:56] Speaker 2: That's true. They are different or story. So there's some
[1:07:02] Speaker 2: raggedy ones too, ma'am. Some ragged rag balls. Long one, Oh.
[1:07:08] Speaker 3: My gosh, you got two heavy rocks and the pillow
[1:07:14] Speaker 3: case and.
[1:07:17] Speaker 2: Let me not. We love y'all. We I don't want
[1:07:19] Speaker 2: to dog you out, So.
[1:07:20] Speaker 1: Let's talk about let's give them some advice on how
[1:07:23] Speaker 1: to be better sexual partners.
[1:07:26] Speaker 2: With the men.
[1:07:27] Speaker 1: Start with I feel like men have attention when you're
[1:07:31] Speaker 1: doing things to your woman's reaction, because a lot of times,
[1:07:35] Speaker 1: like when you're doing things the way I react, you
[1:07:37] Speaker 1: know what, that's a lot because sometimes I'll be thinking.
[1:07:41] Speaker 2: That's a real thing. Making it is a real thing.
[1:07:44] Speaker 3: So I don't know, when you get to the point
[1:07:45] Speaker 3: where you stop, it's like, you know what, you're just
[1:07:47] Speaker 3: not doing it, get out, get up.
[1:07:52] Speaker 1: But there are women that can may be honestly like hey, babe,
[1:07:55] Speaker 1: like or try to they push in your head one
[1:07:57] Speaker 1: way or like do.
[1:07:58] Speaker 2: It like this or right here, listen and take direction.
[1:08:01] Speaker 2: Like that's a good tip. What do you think?
[1:08:03] Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it is, And I think that it's not
[1:08:05] Speaker 3: what you say is how you say it. You're not
[1:08:08] Speaker 3: like right, damn, damn, you're just like.
[1:08:10] Speaker 2: If you're doing it in the mom moan on here.
[1:08:13] Speaker 3: But if you're doing it in the moment, then like
[1:08:16] Speaker 3: it becomes like sexy. But yeah, definitely paying attention to
[1:08:20] Speaker 3: the body and and and her how she reacts, not
[1:08:24] Speaker 3: even just how the moon sound, but what the vagina's doing,
[1:08:28] Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Talk, She gonna talk back,
[1:08:32] Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So it's like just paying
[1:08:34] Speaker 3: attention to those things. And then also like women I
[1:08:38] Speaker 3: think take a longer time to warm up.
[1:08:40] Speaker 2: A man can just have an erection and be ready
[1:08:43] Speaker 2: to go. Like women, you really got a revden, you do?
[1:08:46] Speaker 2: You know what I mean. So spend a little bit
[1:08:47] Speaker 2: more time with play.
[1:08:48] Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, spend a little bit more time whatever it is,
[1:08:52] Speaker 3: whether she like to kiss or get your fingerpon, whatever
[1:08:57] Speaker 3: it is, like, just spend more time for play and
[1:09:01] Speaker 3: the talking if you guys, like if you do like
[1:09:03] Speaker 3: to talk or whatever. I saw something recently where a
[1:09:05] Speaker 3: woman was like during sex, she likes to say positive
[1:09:08] Speaker 3: affirmations to her person. Wow, And like I've actually done
[1:09:11] Speaker 3: that where we prayed together and it made the experience
[1:09:15] Speaker 3: like I felt like, oh wow, like we are anointed
[1:09:20] Speaker 3: and it's like she hadn't sex before marriage.
[1:09:22] Speaker 2: But I know God is here, you know what I mean.
[1:09:28] Speaker 2: And then women, I think.
[1:09:29] Speaker 3: That you know, the mistake that I made is like
[1:09:33] Speaker 3: trying to do all the things that the other.
[1:09:34] Speaker 2: One like, you know what I mean. And it's like because.
[1:09:37] Speaker 3: Different everyone is different, so each person like a new
[1:09:40] Speaker 3: person and not like you could come with your bag
[1:09:42] Speaker 3: of tricks. Yeah, and don't be surprised if all of
[1:09:44] Speaker 3: them don't work. You know what I mean, there's there
[1:09:47] Speaker 3: are certain things that will most likely work because I
[1:09:50] Speaker 3: feel like men are pretty simple.
[1:09:51] Speaker 2: But then also, don't be afraid to ask. That's what
[1:09:54] Speaker 2: I was gonna say.
[1:09:55] Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to have those sex conversations, like I
[1:09:57] Speaker 1: feel like that's how you really get to know the
[1:09:58] Speaker 1: person likes be FREEDMI like, so what.
[1:09:59] Speaker 2: Do you like? Yeah? You like it was like each
[1:10:01] Speaker 2: booty or but do you not like it? But damn
[1:10:06] Speaker 2: you like I'm supposed to say, I think it takes it.
[1:10:11] Speaker 3: It takes more of an edge off if you're asking
[1:10:13] Speaker 3: in the moment where it's it's like you don't have
[1:10:15] Speaker 3: to say tell me what to do.
[1:10:17] Speaker 2: You could just be like, I want to do whatever
[1:10:18] Speaker 2: you want me to do. Y jes z, I want whatever.
[1:10:23] Speaker 3: You can have your way, like what like whatever that
[1:10:27] Speaker 3: that talk is, they'll tell you.
[1:10:29] Speaker 2: And if they start pushing your head past the gooch
[1:10:31] Speaker 2: he wants booty, that's you answer right down. He can't
[1:10:34] Speaker 2: tell you when you asked him on the day. He
[1:10:36] Speaker 2: told you.
[1:10:38] Speaker 3: Seriously, like some people get uncomfortable, but like when you're
[1:10:41] Speaker 3: like in that moment I'm around, it's like.
[1:10:44] Speaker 2: Pushing down, keep going. Yeah, okay.
[1:10:47] Speaker 3: Like Dion Cole, he was like, I don't tell women
[1:10:49] Speaker 3: when their head is bad. He was like, I'll just
[1:10:51] Speaker 3: plug their nose and that don't make them.
[1:10:54] Speaker 2: Stop because they can't breathe. I'm done.
[1:10:58] Speaker 3: He's like, it's just good, just like no I'll scream.
[1:11:03] Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, it's as good. Oh my gosh, Jesse,
[1:11:09] Speaker 2: I really enjoyed you. This has been a great conversation.
[1:11:12] Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I'm so happy we did this. We're
[1:11:15] Speaker 1: gonna get to one of my favorite parts of the show.
[1:11:16] Speaker 1: It's called positive Outcomes, and this is where our listeners
[1:11:19] Speaker 1: write into us and we're.
[1:11:20] Speaker 2: Gonna give them an oh my god. Yeah, So this
[1:11:22] Speaker 2: is gonna be fun. Y'all don't want advice from me?
[1:11:25] Speaker 1: She has there all right, This one says, Hi, Crystal,
[1:11:29] Speaker 1: I need some advice. I've been on and off with
[1:11:31] Speaker 1: this guy since twenty sixteen. In twenty twenty one, he
[1:11:35] Speaker 1: moved in with me, but the whole time he was dating.
[1:11:38] Speaker 2: Are you mean.
[1:11:41] Speaker 1: The whole time he was dating someone else. I had
[1:11:43] Speaker 1: a situation like this the whole time he was dating
[1:11:45] Speaker 1: someone else. I know this because he called me her
[1:11:48] Speaker 1: name and he would run and leave the.
[1:11:49] Speaker 2: Room to answer the phone. Oh girl. Some days he came.
[1:11:54] Speaker 1: Into the house and we wouldn't speak. We didn't have
[1:11:56] Speaker 1: a sex life. He claims it wasn't happening because he
[1:12:00] Speaker 1: He claims it wasn't happening because I didn't initiate it.
[1:12:03] Speaker 1: He would take food and drinks out of the house
[1:12:05] Speaker 1: to the other woman's home for her to cook.
[1:12:08] Speaker 2: Trifling. Oh my gosh. So I put him out and
[1:12:12] Speaker 2: change the lots.
[1:12:12] Speaker 1: Come to find out, through my job, I have been
[1:12:15] Speaker 1: able to see he had a baby with this other woman,
[1:12:18] Speaker 1: which he denies, but I saw his name on the
[1:12:20] Speaker 1: birth certificate.
[1:12:22] Speaker 2: Oh so you work for that? Who you work for that?
[1:12:26] Speaker 1: He is now trying to come back and get a
[1:12:28] Speaker 1: key to my home. I don't know what to do
[1:12:30] Speaker 1: because I still do love him, but I.
[1:12:32] Speaker 2: Don't want to get hurt again. What should I do?
[1:12:36] Speaker 1: Keep them doors, them locks the same, and do not
[1:12:39] Speaker 1: give him the key.
[1:12:40] Speaker 2: Throw it away to your heart. And this is a
[1:12:43] Speaker 2: this is a real story.
[1:12:44] Speaker 3: In the lifetime movie girl, you don't know what to do.
[1:12:49] Speaker 2: You know what to do? Yes, you do know what
[1:12:52] Speaker 2: you do, know what to do.
[1:12:54] Speaker 1: Run, Do not let him back in, Tell him to
[1:12:56] Speaker 1: go on where he came from with the first of all,
[1:12:59] Speaker 1: he sounds broke.
[1:13:00] Speaker 2: It's given broke again. It's given broke.
[1:13:02] Speaker 3: Dick energy and it's given broke bitch energy too from
[1:13:06] Speaker 3: her both. You got to steal the soda pops from
[1:13:08] Speaker 3: my fridge and bring them on down to her and
[1:13:10] Speaker 3: my food, so I'm feeding you her and the baby.
[1:13:14] Speaker 2: Yep.
[1:13:15] Speaker 3: Now he was stealing snacks, but she was pregnant. She
[1:13:17] Speaker 3: was probably already pregnant the time, and then they weren't
[1:13:19] Speaker 3: having sex because she she was pregnant. But you living
[1:13:21] Speaker 3: with me, and you know a lot of men do that.
[1:13:23] Speaker 3: They'll prey on women who will let me stay there,
[1:13:26] Speaker 3: and they'll stay there. They'll drop off a couple of
[1:13:28] Speaker 3: scraps of dick every now and then.
[1:13:30] Speaker 2: And that's what it was.
[1:13:31] Speaker 3: Why she brought him back, just to like, you know,
[1:13:34] Speaker 3: keep you at bab and they're still doing what they
[1:13:37] Speaker 3: want to do. But like I can't even tell, like,
[1:13:40] Speaker 3: oh we moved in together that I knew.
[1:13:42] Speaker 2: She was paying the bill. Yep, because it's given. You
[1:13:44] Speaker 2: moved in with me, Yep, he did, he moved in.
[1:13:48] Speaker 3: It sounds like you was just a place to stay
[1:13:50] Speaker 3: while he figured things out with homegirl. Listen, wish them well. Hell,
[1:13:54] Speaker 3: even you can send a baby a gift. But no,
[1:13:57] Speaker 3: uh uh no, we're not doing it.
[1:14:00] Speaker 2: No, no, we're not.
[1:14:02] Speaker 3: That's low frequency. That is a low vibrational relationship. Okay,
[1:14:09] Speaker 3: and we are elevating higher than that past that.
[1:14:11] Speaker 2: Yeah, let it go. What's his instagram? I want to
[1:14:15] Speaker 2: see I want to see what he looked like. I
[1:14:17] Speaker 2: want to see what does look like? Right, you know,
[1:14:20] Speaker 2: I don't know her.
[1:14:20] Speaker 3: I'm not gonna call it that, but she trifling for
[1:14:23] Speaker 3: if you knew, if she knew you was doing.
[1:14:24] Speaker 2: That, she knew he was in there. But you know,
[1:14:26] Speaker 2: niggas live, they do may not have known. A lot
[1:14:29] Speaker 2: of times, we don't even know what they're doing.
[1:14:30] Speaker 3: That's that's a fact that maybe she couldn't handle the truth.
[1:14:34] Speaker 2: We thought about it. Can you handle it? Right? The
[1:14:38] Speaker 2: consensus is leave him alone? Yes, in roborate higher sweetheart,
[1:14:43] Speaker 2: Yes for sure.
[1:14:45] Speaker 1: Okay, So what I'm going through versus what I'm growing through,
[1:14:51] Speaker 1: and I feel like in this season in my.
[1:14:53] Speaker 2: Life, I am.
[1:14:55] Speaker 1: Going through a drought because I ain't getting none. But
[1:15:00] Speaker 1: I'm growing through understanding that in these moments, I'm learning
[1:15:04] Speaker 1: so much about myself and what I like, what I
[1:15:07] Speaker 1: don't like. In this season of what may look like loneliness,
[1:15:12] Speaker 1: I'm learning so much about Crystal so that when the
[1:15:14] Speaker 1: next person does come, I'm gonna be so clear on
[1:15:17] Speaker 1: a lot of things.
[1:15:18] Speaker 2: So that's what I'm going through. What I'm growing through
[1:15:20] Speaker 2: about you, Okay, Okay.
[1:15:23] Speaker 3: What I'm going through is just trying to find that
[1:15:26] Speaker 3: balance between my career and my relationship because I am
[1:15:31] Speaker 3: like super like I'm a stepmom, I'm a girlfriend, like
[1:15:36] Speaker 3: I'm a life partner. I'm like a helpmate, but I'm
[1:15:41] Speaker 3: also a career woman. I'm also an actress, a comedian,
[1:15:44] Speaker 3: a writer, like I do all the things. But I
[1:15:47] Speaker 3: noticed that, like in my relationship, I feel so much
[1:15:54] Speaker 3: joy when like everyone is taken care of and the
[1:15:58] Speaker 3: house is clean, and the kids are fa and they're happy,
[1:16:01] Speaker 3: and homework is done yes, and they baths, they did
[1:16:04] Speaker 3: their baths already, and my man is happy and he
[1:16:07] Speaker 3: ate and everybody's good, and I'm just sitting back, and
[1:16:09] Speaker 3: I because I don't even sit down and eat anymore.
[1:16:12] Speaker 2: I eat in the kitchens.
[1:16:14] Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I just will stand up and be in
[1:16:16] Speaker 3: that corner and be like, a look at the piece
[1:16:18] Speaker 3: that I've created, and it's just such a I find
[1:16:21] Speaker 3: so much fulfillment in that. But also it's like, Okay,
[1:16:24] Speaker 3: I'm still a boss. I'm still you know, And it's
[1:16:27] Speaker 3: what I'm going through. Is that balance? Yes, because like
[1:16:30] Speaker 3: I think that because I've always been a lover. We
[1:16:33] Speaker 3: talked about my love journey. So now being in a
[1:16:35] Speaker 3: space where like I get to be like this.
[1:16:38] Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm really in it. You are you know
[1:16:41] Speaker 2: what I mean.
[1:16:41] Speaker 3: So then it's just like, Okay, I've done the whole strong,
[1:16:45] Speaker 3: independent black woman who don't need no man thing, and
[1:16:48] Speaker 3: I don't.
[1:16:48] Speaker 2: I'm not.
[1:16:49] Speaker 1: I don't like that girl, yes yeah yeah, and it
[1:16:54] Speaker 1: feels very soft.
[1:16:55] Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, it's stillk soft.
[1:16:58] Speaker 3: I can see him, you know, But I like, I
[1:17:00] Speaker 3: have to find that balance to do it all because
[1:17:03] Speaker 3: I'll be like doing all the stuff for the kids
[1:17:05] Speaker 3: and then boom, I got interviews, I got meetings, I
[1:17:07] Speaker 3: got zoom calls, I got this Isnata, and then I
[1:17:09] Speaker 3: find myself saying, well, I'm only free this week from
[1:17:12] Speaker 3: this time to this time because I got to pick
[1:17:13] Speaker 3: up babies from school and do all this, and it's
[1:17:15] Speaker 3: like that balance is real and it's just really trying
[1:17:20] Speaker 3: to learn that dance, especially now that like I'm touring now.
[1:17:23] Speaker 3: I mean, I'm only visiting a couple of cities because
[1:17:26] Speaker 3: you know, film life and all that stuff. So I'm
[1:17:28] Speaker 3: just okay, right, So it's like, but how do I
[1:17:33] Speaker 3: I think what I'm going through is like I always
[1:17:35] Speaker 3: I find it very hard to like treat myself as
[1:17:39] Speaker 3: good as I treat other people.
[1:17:41] Speaker 2: And it's not that I don't treat myself good because baby,
[1:17:44] Speaker 2: I bees at the spa.
[1:17:46] Speaker 3: Okay, you don't spa, And I bees at the Sophora,
[1:17:50] Speaker 3: getting myself anything that I want pertaining the beauty and
[1:17:54] Speaker 3: hair and all the stuff that I love and I love,
[1:17:56] Speaker 3: and I take my bubble baths, I do those things.
[1:17:59] Speaker 2: But I be going all out.
[1:18:01] Speaker 3: For everybody, yeah dude, And maybe I'm just okay with that.
[1:18:07] Speaker 3: And some people are like, well, you got you better
[1:18:09] Speaker 3: be doing all this and this isn't this and I'm
[1:18:11] Speaker 3: just like I'm really I'm really happy, but I do
[1:18:15] Speaker 3: feel like I could keep that same energy though, you
[1:18:19] Speaker 3: know what I mean with the way I handle make
[1:18:21] Speaker 3: sure his flights are booked and he got all his
[1:18:23] Speaker 3: things that I could cross my t's and dot my
[1:18:26] Speaker 3: eyes with the things that I need. I still, you know,
[1:18:30] Speaker 3: I still got to get this logo made. I haven't
[1:18:32] Speaker 3: caught up on that email. I still need to handle this.
[1:18:35] Speaker 3: I still need to follow up with this. But let
[1:18:37] Speaker 3: it be his.
[1:18:38] Speaker 2: And it's funny he had to say it to me.
[1:18:40] Speaker 2: He's like, baby, like you're so talented, so this like
[1:18:42] Speaker 2: he really wants me to start a YouTube. So he's like,
[1:18:44] Speaker 2: I'm just telling you. And he was like, and I
[1:18:47] Speaker 2: know you can do it. And he's like, because if
[1:18:49] Speaker 2: I asked you to and they had anything to do
[1:18:51] Speaker 2: with me, you would.
[1:18:53] Speaker 1: And I was like, makes you want to cry because
[1:18:55] Speaker 1: women we do that. We pour into everybody around this
[1:18:58] Speaker 1: and we Wow. I love how you put that, because
[1:19:01] Speaker 1: if I asked you to do what you would do it?
[1:19:03] Speaker 2: Wow?
[1:19:04] Speaker 3: And I felt like, craph, my god, that's so true.
[1:19:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, dang, I got to pull
[1:19:10] Speaker 2: up for myself. I pull up for everybody else, But.
[1:19:12] Speaker 3: What does that even look like? Because when I pull
[1:19:14] Speaker 3: up for me, like it's in a major way. I
[1:19:16] Speaker 3: ain't got time.
[1:19:16] Speaker 2: To do it. Yeah, you know what I mean. So
[1:19:19] Speaker 2: it's like, what is that dance?
[1:19:21] Speaker 3: Yeah?
[1:19:21] Speaker 2: Maybe I talk to Kadeen sh.
[1:19:24] Speaker 3: Right because she's got a lot of moving parts, but
[1:19:28] Speaker 3: like what, I don't know that she has helped.
[1:19:30] Speaker 2: You got to get help. That's you got to have
[1:19:31] Speaker 2: a team. That's true. Yeah, that's also true. That's also true.
[1:19:35] Speaker 2: I can't do it by yourself. And I think the
[1:19:37] Speaker 2: thing is it's like if I see that I.
[1:19:39] Speaker 3: Can, I will, you know, and if people come in
[1:19:42] Speaker 3: and help, thank you so much.
[1:19:44] Speaker 2: But I was gonna do this my period, you know
[1:19:46] Speaker 2: what I mean. And I have to do better with
[1:19:49] Speaker 2: like delegating help.
[1:19:51] Speaker 3: Yeah, delegating and not having to I don't have to
[1:19:54] Speaker 3: say yes all the time.
[1:19:55] Speaker 2: If I can do it, do it, yep. But if
[1:19:57] Speaker 2: I can't, I'm sorry. I I really can't even well,
[1:20:00] Speaker 2: thank you for doing this. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank
[1:20:03] Speaker 2: you for coming over. Oh yeah, because I know you're
[1:20:06] Speaker 2: so busy out of town. Okay, and he was here, No, no, no,
[1:20:11] Speaker 2: I I just adore you. But so I guess what
[1:20:14] Speaker 2: I'm going through is what I'm growing yeah, I love that.
[1:20:17] Speaker 2: That's good. Still trying to learn that. Damn yeah, I
[1:20:21] Speaker 2: love that. So let's do keep it blank sweet.
[1:20:25] Speaker 1: Pertaining to this episode, Who's touched on so many things,
[1:20:31] Speaker 1: I go first, you can go first.
[1:20:32] Speaker 2: I'm still because I'm thinking, keep it real, sweetie.
[1:20:37] Speaker 3: Stop lying yes, trying to suppress who you really are,
[1:20:41] Speaker 3: to to to stroke somebody's ego, is not you, because
[1:20:45] Speaker 3: sooner or later you're gonna find out you're like a
[1:20:47] Speaker 3: finger in your butt, you know, So just be honest
[1:20:54] Speaker 3: about who you are, and the ones that are worth
[1:20:57] Speaker 3: while will stay and the ones and the one does
[1:21:00] Speaker 3: that aren't will get out the way early and regardless
[1:21:02] Speaker 3: if it's the one that you think is supposed to
[1:21:04] Speaker 3: be there, not if they can't like, because then the
[1:21:08] Speaker 3: whole relationship will be alive.
[1:21:10] Speaker 2: And you never want to base your relationship on a lie.
[1:21:12] Speaker 3: You want your foundation to always be honesty and truthful
[1:21:15] Speaker 3: in realness and authenticity.
[1:21:17] Speaker 2: So keep it real, Keep it real.
[1:21:19] Speaker 1: Oh that's hard on the top because the thing that
[1:21:22] Speaker 1: that was my takeaway from this is like, just keep
[1:21:24] Speaker 1: it honest because the right person's gonna be okay with everything.
[1:21:29] Speaker 2: Keep it m Trying to see how I can put
[1:21:39] Speaker 2: this in one word.
[1:21:43] Speaker 1: Because we talked about like looking at where you are
[1:21:46] Speaker 1: now and not the past. So I guess keep it present,
[1:21:48] Speaker 1: sweetly and know that like who you are now, it's
[1:21:51] Speaker 1: not who you and stop harboring on the past and thinking, oh,
[1:21:56] Speaker 1: I've done all these things, nobody's ever gonna love me
[1:21:59] Speaker 1: and I can't be on it to someone about keep
[1:22:01] Speaker 1: it real with somebody that about who I've been in
[1:22:03] Speaker 1: my past and understand that everything that you've done has
[1:22:07] Speaker 1: made you the beautiful being that you are today. So yeah,
[1:22:10] Speaker 1: I would say, keep it present and be in the
[1:22:12] Speaker 1: present moment.
[1:22:13] Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Thank you so good,
[1:22:17] Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I love you, I love you.
[1:22:20] Speaker 2: This is good, this is really good much.
[1:22:22] Speaker 1: Gosh, Oh, thank you so much, and thank you guys
[1:22:25] Speaker 1: so much to keep it positive, sweetie. And if you
[1:22:28] Speaker 1: want to write in, please write in to keep it
[1:22:31] Speaker 1: positive sweetie at gmail dot com.
[1:22:33] Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you.
[1:22:34] Speaker 3: Guys.
[1:22:35] Speaker 1: Follow me on all platforms at Love, Luv, Chris Doorine
[1:22:38] Speaker 1: and Jazzy tell us where they can follow you and
[1:22:40] Speaker 1: what you got going on?
[1:22:41] Speaker 2: Cuse you got a lot of things.
[1:22:42] Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Well, I don't know when this is
[1:22:43] Speaker 3: going to air, but hopefully it's before my tours. You
[1:22:47] Speaker 3: can follow me I watch Jazzy and you can also
[1:22:49] Speaker 3: follow me at Toya Turn Up, Toya Underscore turn Up
[1:22:53] Speaker 3: and we have a little probably.
[1:22:56] Speaker 2: Like six city tour we're doing. And the link is
[1:22:59] Speaker 2: in my biophone to day.
[1:23:00] Speaker 3: Yes, catch her on Oh, catch me on the Teams
[1:23:03] Speaker 3: season one and two into a stage. Yeah, and just
[1:23:09] Speaker 3: stay tuned for all the projects that I have gone. Yeah,
[1:23:11] Speaker 3: a lot of great things that I can.
[1:23:13] Speaker 1: Talk about right exactly, but yeah, keep eye for this
[1:23:17] Speaker 1: when she is definitely want to watch. If you're not
[1:23:19] Speaker 1: upon her, get up on her. She will definitely brighten
[1:23:21] Speaker 1: your day.
[1:23:22] Speaker 2: Follow her on.
[1:23:22] Speaker 1: Instagram and we will see you next time. But in
[1:23:25] Speaker 1: the meantime, you guys know what to do.
[1:23:27] Speaker 2: Keep you positively, Love you guys,

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