# A Life in Bloom with Shawn Finnie

An episode of [Keep it Positive, Sweetie](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1689495115), 13 Aug 2024, 1 h 00 min.

Audio: https://pdrl.fm/1504e6/podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/44f61442-7ba4-4250-b406-b35901038504/e0cb60a6-da2c-44e9-ab58-b359010be59b/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=2cfaa2b1-0f12-4656-aec3-b3590103850e

Y'all, I've been wanting to have my dear friend Shawn Finnie on the couch since season 1 and God made it possible. If you know him in real life or follow Shawn's IG, you know he is a much needed light. He's lived many lives and worked on many projects, most notably his role as the Executive Vice President at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Shawn reminds me that the biggest project that you could ever work on is yourself. Make sure you pull your journals out because there are so many lessons taught in this episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: Keep It Positive Sweety is available on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify,
[0:04] Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Just search keep It
[0:07] Speaker 1: Positive Sweety. That's Sweety with an Ie to listen. Hello,
[0:21] Speaker 1: and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweety.
[0:23] Speaker 1: I'm Christine Hayslet, and as you can tell, I am
[0:26] Speaker 1: not at home. I'm in Los Angeles right now catching
[0:29] Speaker 1: up with some of my favorite favorite people.
[0:31] Speaker 2: Today.
[0:31] Speaker 1: I have with me Sean Finney and we're gonna be
[0:34] Speaker 1: talking about Pivot season ed. You can see we're somewhere else.
[0:37] Speaker 1: I want to shout out thirteen Loon. Thirteen Loon is
[0:40] Speaker 1: a beautiful store founded by Nikayo Greco where ninety percent
[0:44] Speaker 1: of her products sold here.
[0:46] Speaker 2: Are Bipop founded. Thank you so much, thirteen Loon. Sean.
[0:51] Speaker 2: I'm so happy to have you here. Like you don't
[0:53] Speaker 2: even understand.
[0:53] Speaker 1: I've been trying to get this man on this podcast
[0:55] Speaker 1: and so I'm so happy to have you here.
[0:58] Speaker 3: And it was always yes, it was always yes, Thank you,
[1:02] Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
[1:04] Speaker 2: For people who do not know who Sean is, where
[1:06] Speaker 2: have you been?
[1:07] Speaker 4: It's the question.
[1:09] Speaker 1: So if you don't know, we're not gonna judge you.
[1:10] Speaker 1: But I'm gonna tell you a little bit about him.
[1:12] Speaker 1: Sean Finny is an award winning entertainment executive and producer
[1:16] Speaker 1: with over a decade of experience in Hollywood. Sean most
[1:18] Speaker 1: recently served as Executive vice President, Member Relations, Global Outreach
[1:23] Speaker 1: and Awards at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and
[1:26] Speaker 1: Sciences OSCARS. He was the youngest black male executive in
[1:30] Speaker 1: the organization's history. Sean is a sought after host, moderator, commentator,
[1:35] Speaker 1: and facilitator in the entertainment sector.
[1:38] Speaker 2: Currently the host of La Times.
[1:40] Speaker 1: Digital series The Envelope, Ladies and Gentlemen.
[1:43] Speaker 3: Sean Finny, you can anywhere I go any time, but
[1:49] Speaker 3: before because I know this is your show, show thank you.
[1:52] Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of.
[1:54] Speaker 3: What you've done, what you're doing and where it's going.
[1:58] Speaker 2: Thank you.
[1:58] Speaker 3: Are so many things, but a light is the first
[2:01] Speaker 3: thing that comes to mind when Wowan.
[2:05] Speaker 1: It's crazy you say that because I started the shop
[2:07] Speaker 1: with a quote and this is the quote that I
[2:09] Speaker 1: pulled that makes me think of you, and it says,
[2:14] Speaker 1: simply shine your light on the road ahead, and you
[2:16] Speaker 1: are helping others see their way out of darkness.
[2:20] Speaker 4: That is never part like we get there.
[2:24] Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that is who you are to me. And
[2:26] Speaker 1: when we were thinking, I was like, I need a
[2:27] Speaker 1: quote for Sean, and we.
[2:29] Speaker 2: All were like, he's a light. He's a light.
[2:31] Speaker 1: And when I saw this and I was like, he
[2:32] Speaker 1: is bringing people out of darkness.
[2:35] Speaker 2: That just just being yourself.
[2:36] Speaker 1: I'm telling you, on a regular day, if I just
[2:38] Speaker 1: see you on Instagram, it brings me joy. That smile
[2:42] Speaker 1: we are shine fine my camera, but that smile brings
[2:46] Speaker 1: so many people joy. Then when you speak and you
[2:49] Speaker 1: give other people hope, it's just.
[2:50] Speaker 4: It means the world.
[2:51] Speaker 2: So thank you, friend.
[2:52] Speaker 4: Appreciate you, Yes, appreciate you. No.
[2:56] Speaker 2: I remember when we first met. It was through Fatima yep.
[2:59] Speaker 1: I think it was during you were doing a series
[3:02] Speaker 1: on social media.
[3:03] Speaker 2: What was that one called?
[3:04] Speaker 3: I was doing a series called Journey where I was
[3:06] Speaker 3: talking to different artists and filmmakers specifically just about what
[3:10] Speaker 3: was happening in the ecosystem from.
[3:12] Speaker 4: A human level and not really just about the headlines
[3:15] Speaker 4: how people were doing. And that's when we initially connected.
[3:18] Speaker 2: That is when we initially connected.
[3:20] Speaker 1: And it wasn't until a few years later that we
[3:22] Speaker 1: actually met. And I remember and I tell people this
[3:25] Speaker 1: story sometimes. Last year during Oscar season, we were at
[3:29] Speaker 1: an event, yes, where you had to speak, and you
[3:32] Speaker 1: walked out stage. You came straight to me and You're like,
[3:34] Speaker 1: how are you doing? I was like, I don't know
[3:37] Speaker 1: how I'm doing. I just had my first panic attack today.
[3:38] Speaker 4: It just like came out, yeah and talked.
[3:41] Speaker 2: We talked about it right at that moment.
[3:42] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[3:43] Speaker 2: And just hearing you.
[3:45] Speaker 1: Say, Crystal, sometimes you just gotta breathe. It's okay, I
[3:48] Speaker 1: go through it. It's fine, You're not alone in this
[3:50] Speaker 1: meant so much because when you feel that for the
[3:52] Speaker 1: first time, you have no idea what's going on, and
[3:55] Speaker 1: I feel like God put me in that room that
[3:57] Speaker 1: night to have you there.
[3:58] Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, shut there. And then you come to
[4:00] Speaker 2: me and you're like, how are you? And you're how
[4:02] Speaker 2: are you?
[4:02] Speaker 4: Is?
[4:02] Speaker 2: In surface level it's always no, how are you?
[4:06] Speaker 4: Yeah, no, because we're gonna have that conversation. And it's
[4:09] Speaker 4: funny because I was we were I saw you for
[4:12] Speaker 4: the first time on stage.
[4:14] Speaker 3: So I came on and I was on stage and
[4:15] Speaker 3: I'm like, Crystal, finish what I got to do, and
[4:18] Speaker 3: I can't.
[4:18] Speaker 4: You're right a B line straight to you, and I
[4:20] Speaker 4: was like, how's your heart, how's your spirit?
[4:22] Speaker 3: And what's interesting too, is I think that people think
[4:24] Speaker 3: when we're all dolled up at an event, you're at
[4:27] Speaker 3: an OSCAR event leading up to it, everything's good. And
[4:29] Speaker 3: those are the moments I find where I'm like, we
[4:31] Speaker 3: really got to tap in because everything is happening so fast,
[4:34] Speaker 3: and the.
[4:34] Speaker 4: Assumption is you're good because you're there.
[4:36] Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's not always the truth is, and that's
[4:38] Speaker 3: why we're people that you really feel that connection with.
[4:40] Speaker 4: You got to really be like, no, no, no.
[4:42] Speaker 2: What's up?
[4:42] Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, literally, what's what's up? You're good?
[4:45] Speaker 3: Yeah, we can have this conversation right now in front
[4:47] Speaker 3: of this room where we can talk.
[4:48] Speaker 4: In a way where we can understand. You know what
[4:50] Speaker 4: I'm saying. I love a voice note and I love
[4:51] Speaker 4: your voice back too. But just to check in because
[4:55] Speaker 4: I feel like that's a law for life.
[4:56] Speaker 3: We see people online, we see the accomplishments, things that
[4:59] Speaker 3: were doing so are assumption is always that oh they're thriving,
[5:02] Speaker 3: they're good, and they might be. That doesn't mean that
[5:04] Speaker 3: you can't have a bad day or a bad moment
[5:06] Speaker 3: in the.
[5:06] Speaker 4: Day, and it's not always a bad day the end
[5:10] Speaker 4: of the day.
[5:10] Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so true.
[5:13] Speaker 1: Yeah, in that moment, you really just helped because I
[5:16] Speaker 1: think even still, I was feeling that the heart palpitation
[5:18] Speaker 1: feeling from an anxiety attack, and I was like I
[5:21] Speaker 1: could not get my heart break this little down and
[5:23] Speaker 1: they just even talking, you just helped so much. And
[5:26] Speaker 1: just I feel like God literally sent you to me
[5:28] Speaker 1: that night, just so I could be like, all right,
[5:31] Speaker 1: we keep going heah right, literally, So You've done so
[5:38] Speaker 1: many amazing things, Shane. I want to talk about young
[5:41] Speaker 1: sh I want to take people through the journey of
[5:43] Speaker 1: how we got to who you are today, the man
[5:46] Speaker 1: that people know.
[5:47] Speaker 2: You grew up in a Muslim home.
[5:50] Speaker 4: Yeah, my dad's Muslim, my mom's Christians. How did that
[5:52] Speaker 4: work out?
[5:53] Speaker 2: Because listen, I dated a Muslim?
[5:54] Speaker 4: Okay, what was that? Like? My mom and.
[5:56] Speaker 2: Daddy was like that ain't gonna work, and I was like,
[6:00] Speaker 2: I love him. They ended up.
[6:02] Speaker 1: He came to my college graduation day. To this day,
[6:04] Speaker 1: they always asked about him. He was one of the
[6:07] Speaker 1: kindest human beings you'll ever meet in your life, so sweet,
[6:10] Speaker 1: and I always say that he was the person that
[6:13] Speaker 1: loved me the hardest.
[6:14] Speaker 4: Wow. Yeah.
[6:15] Speaker 1: But when it came to like having children, he wanted
[6:18] Speaker 1: to raising his Muslim so I was like, I don't
[6:19] Speaker 1: know if I can do that. So we just kind
[6:21] Speaker 1: of naturally growing apart. But yeah, it was it was different.
[6:25] Speaker 2: How is that for you?
[6:26] Speaker 3: You know what's interesting because for me, I just thought
[6:29] Speaker 3: that was the way the world worked, right. I mean
[6:32] Speaker 3: not that I thought that everybody had the same thing,
[6:34] Speaker 3: but I think it really taught me duality.
[6:36] Speaker 4: Right.
[6:37] Speaker 3: So I'm a military kid. I moved around quite a bit.
[6:40] Speaker 3: I was born in Virginia.
[6:41] Speaker 4: I don't know much about like, I can't. People were like, well,
[6:43] Speaker 4: what's your favorite or what I'm like. I was born
[6:45] Speaker 4: in Newport News at seven five seven. I have family,
[6:48] Speaker 4: a lot of family in Richmond, Virginia.
[6:49] Speaker 3: But we moved around a lot. So I would say, like,
[6:51] Speaker 3: New York is home. Florida's home. My parents live in Florida.
[6:54] Speaker 2: Now they're still together.
[6:55] Speaker 4: They're still together. Wow. I was so fascin Yeah, my
[6:58] Speaker 4: parents are still together.
[6:59] Speaker 3: And I would say, you know, Chris, I was talking
[7:03] Speaker 3: about this in therapy honestly the other day. And I
[7:06] Speaker 3: had such a power of choice as a child, and
[7:10] Speaker 3: my dad was in the military for twenty four years.
[7:11] Speaker 3: I want to be clear, I did not have the
[7:13] Speaker 3: parents where I would be like, ah, yeah, it was
[7:15] Speaker 3: very much yes sir, yes, ma'am. But my parents allowed
[7:18] Speaker 3: me to find my way, and I thought that that
[7:21] Speaker 3: was just everyone's experience as a child, right.
[7:24] Speaker 4: And not that I didn't have rules. I had a
[7:26] Speaker 4: lot of rules, but if I followed those rules, I
[7:29] Speaker 4: had the power of choice.
[7:30] Speaker 3: So I would go to the temple with my father
[7:32] Speaker 3: and then I would go to church with my mom.
[7:35] Speaker 4: I didn't have to eat with.
[7:36] Speaker 3: My father ate, but out of respect when I went
[7:38] Speaker 3: to his side of the family, I would honor that right.
[7:43] Speaker 3: But it really taught me the duality of two things
[7:45] Speaker 3: can exist at the same time.
[7:47] Speaker 4: Allah God and so very young, I.
[7:49] Speaker 3: Had this idea where I was like, these, two of
[7:52] Speaker 3: the biggest things that we talk about is religion and politics,
[7:55] Speaker 3: and so like religion.
[7:56] Speaker 4: For that at a young age to.
[7:58] Speaker 3: Understand that it could be two different things for me,
[8:01] Speaker 3: I think really helped me understand how to acclimate to people,
[8:04] Speaker 3: how to be around different individuals very early.
[8:06] Speaker 4: And then being a military kid moving around like I
[8:09] Speaker 4: had friends. I mean, this is my best friend.
[8:10] Speaker 3: If you know, whated like, that's your best friend and
[8:12] Speaker 3: then you think y'all gonna be friends forever. And then
[8:14] Speaker 3: I moved to another city. I have to learn to
[8:15] Speaker 3: get new friends again and learn.
[8:17] Speaker 4: And as a kid, you're like, this sucks.
[8:20] Speaker 3: But as an adult, I have such an appreciation for
[8:22] Speaker 3: understanding how to move in different rooms, in different spaces
[8:25] Speaker 3: and move freely.
[8:27] Speaker 2: Yes, you know what I mean. It makes sense why
[8:29] Speaker 2: you were able to pivot so easily.
[8:30] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[8:31] Speaker 3: Life, And so I would say the experience for me,
[8:35] Speaker 3: you know, as the experience my parents might be a
[8:37] Speaker 3: little different, right, because I think their families had their
[8:39] Speaker 3: own opinions about how things could be, but.
[8:41] Speaker 4: They decided to come together.
[8:43] Speaker 3: And for me, it was the best experience that I
[8:46] Speaker 3: could have, even now being able to share those specific
[8:49] Speaker 3: things with my father. We have our prayers that we
[8:51] Speaker 3: do and the specific things with my mom and my
[8:52] Speaker 3: dad will go to church with my mom.
[8:54] Speaker 4: That took a while, but we got there. My dad
[8:57] Speaker 4: will go to church with my mom.
[8:58] Speaker 3: My moms went to the temple with my father, and
[9:00] Speaker 3: so I also it wasn't only my experience.
[9:02] Speaker 4: I also got to see how they were able.
[9:05] Speaker 3: To navigate that and it wasn't always I think, always pleasant,
[9:09] Speaker 3: But I think that that was also a realness to
[9:11] Speaker 3: it too, where it's like these things that we put
[9:13] Speaker 3: so much pressure on, how much does it really matter
[9:16] Speaker 3: in terms of when you're bringing a life into this
[9:19] Speaker 3: world and bringing that person up.
[9:21] Speaker 4: But I felt like I had.
[9:22] Speaker 3: A really good power of choice as a child, and
[9:24] Speaker 3: I was able to make decisions and I was able
[9:26] Speaker 3: to express myself, and I appreciate it even more now
[9:31] Speaker 3: being a grown up.
[9:32] Speaker 2: I love it as a grown up. Have you made
[9:33] Speaker 2: a choice? Are you still kind of?
[9:35] Speaker 3: I mean, you know, interesting christian is just because it's
[9:41] Speaker 3: just been more accessible, I think.
[9:43] Speaker 4: But I am open to so many different practices.
[9:46] Speaker 3: I'm not like, oh that doesn't work, that's not I'm really.
[9:49] Speaker 4: Open because it's source for me. It's a feeling.
[9:52] Speaker 3: The name you give it is gonna be the name
[9:54] Speaker 3: that you give it that makes it feel good for you.
[9:56] Speaker 3: But I believe that there's a higher calling over my life,
[9:59] Speaker 3: point blank.
[9:59] Speaker 4: Heer.
[10:00] Speaker 3: And that's been interesting about living in California. Coming here,
[10:03] Speaker 3: moving here from New York, I was like, okay, mountains right,
[10:08] Speaker 3: and I was just made that, you know what I mean, Wow,
[10:12] Speaker 3: it's just been grounding being here in a different way
[10:15] Speaker 3: where I was just like, everywhere you look, it's a
[10:17] Speaker 3: constant reminder of something man didn't make, And so I
[10:21] Speaker 3: just chose to have that kind of perspective, which I
[10:23] Speaker 3: think has kept me grounded in some ways here because
[10:26] Speaker 3: it hasn't always been easy. There's been a lot of challenges,
[10:29] Speaker 3: a lot of pivots, and all of those pivots don't
[10:32] Speaker 3: come with Every pivot is different. Every pivot requires a
[10:38] Speaker 3: different version of you, and not necessarily.
[10:41] Speaker 4: What you're releasing, but what you have to become.
[10:43] Speaker 2: M that's powerful.
[10:45] Speaker 4: Yeah, it is so true.
[10:46] Speaker 3: There's been a lot of versions of that, and I'm
[10:48] Speaker 3: working through some of that now. So I think value
[10:53] Speaker 3: and identity is such an interesting concept period. I think,
[10:56] Speaker 3: you know, when we think of social media, you know,
[10:59] Speaker 3: we haven't had something really interrupt I think the human
[11:01] Speaker 3: experience like this since like mass media, you know, broadcasts,
[11:04] Speaker 3: you know when that happened in the early nineteen hundreds, and
[11:06] Speaker 3: so I'm just like, how people are starting to get
[11:09] Speaker 3: their value, How I get my value?
[11:11] Speaker 4: The identity?
[11:12] Speaker 3: Are we at that thing that everybody is at? Are
[11:15] Speaker 3: we not at that thing that everybody's at?
[11:16] Speaker 4: Right? And you have different versions of it.
[11:18] Speaker 3: But I feel like for me, value and identity working
[11:21] Speaker 3: in this town, working in this town, that really, I
[11:24] Speaker 3: think propels so many images out to the rest.
[11:26] Speaker 4: Of the world.
[11:27] Speaker 3: The nuances, the highs, the lows, the reality and the
[11:32] Speaker 3: nuances of it all I think for me have have
[11:36] Speaker 3: impacted me in some ways and have grown me in
[11:39] Speaker 3: so many other ways. Yeah, but these these pivots don't
[11:42] Speaker 3: come without I think, a bigger promise. You've got to
[11:47] Speaker 3: be willing to release something and let something go. And
[11:50] Speaker 3: I think that's not always what we're thinking about, because
[11:52] Speaker 3: I think we naturally have a scarcity kind of mindset.
[11:55] Speaker 4: Where I got to hold onto this, got to hold
[11:57] Speaker 4: onto it.
[11:58] Speaker 3: No, But if you had a surplus mindset, you even
[12:00] Speaker 3: be thinking about this, you would put this down because
[12:02] Speaker 3: you know something else is coming and it may look different,
[12:04] Speaker 3: but you know it's coming. And so it's a mindset
[12:07] Speaker 3: shift that I'm not always in the best seat for
[12:09] Speaker 3: I want to be clear, but then I'm continually learning
[12:13] Speaker 3: and adjusting along the way.
[12:14] Speaker 4: I love it.
[12:15] Speaker 2: I love that.
[12:18] Speaker 1: You were the youngest VP at for the academy.
[12:23] Speaker 2: What was that experience?
[12:26] Speaker 4: How much time we.
[12:26] Speaker 1: Have because I'm definitely interested to know what that was
[12:32] Speaker 1: like to be in that position at a very young
[12:34] Speaker 1: age and to have made history.
[12:36] Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I'm still figuring out really, honestly.
[12:41] Speaker 4: I think. So I moved here from New York. I
[12:43] Speaker 4: came here to do music. That's what I was doing.
[12:45] Speaker 4: I came here to do music, sing, Oh you already,
[12:50] Speaker 4: come on, it's lit. All right, we got it, he
[12:53] Speaker 4: it's lit, It's lit.
[12:55] Speaker 3: But no, came here to do music. Got offered a
[12:57] Speaker 3: deal under a major imprint.
[12:59] Speaker 4: I was like, I made it four months and I
[13:01] Speaker 4: made it not quite. Then there's the paperwork and making sure.
[13:04] Speaker 3: And at that time I was twenty thirteen, So the
[13:06] Speaker 3: three sixty deals were a big thing and most importantly
[13:09] Speaker 3: just them controlling your image. And for me, I think
[13:12] Speaker 3: even at a young age, I understood the power of
[13:14] Speaker 3: image and what that would portray, and I just wanted
[13:16] Speaker 3: to own it, even if people didn't agree with it.
[13:18] Speaker 4: I wanted to own it.
[13:19] Speaker 3: I didn't want to perpetuate an idea that I really wasn't.
[13:24] Speaker 4: You know how hard it is to work so long.
[13:26] Speaker 3: You know what it's like to work in multiple different
[13:29] Speaker 3: careers because you've done it too and you get the
[13:31] Speaker 3: thing you thought you've always wanted, and then you say no,
[13:36] Speaker 3: it's not what it's time what you thought. And then
[13:38] Speaker 3: you're just like you pray your body, like what am
[13:40] Speaker 3: I gonna do about this?
[13:41] Speaker 4: And it was like say no, I'm like, well, hollup,
[13:44] Speaker 4: this is I think I'm on the wrong chance. Let
[13:46] Speaker 4: me too, my doll back, because we didn't come this
[13:49] Speaker 4: far to come this far to walk away from this
[13:52] Speaker 4: and walking away from it.
[13:54] Speaker 3: Interestingly enough, my car was getting shipped a nineteen ninety
[13:56] Speaker 3: eight toty camera was getting sipped here from New York
[13:58] Speaker 3: the next day, and the place where I was thing
[14:00] Speaker 3: I could no longer stay at and started living in
[14:03] Speaker 3: that nineteen ninety eight towty came. So this all goes
[14:05] Speaker 3: into my story working at this, at the organization. I
[14:09] Speaker 3: was in that car for about four to six months.
[14:12] Speaker 4: What.
[14:12] Speaker 3: Yeah, living here in California and going to La Fitness,
[14:16] Speaker 3: good to La Fitness to shower shave.
[14:19] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[14:20] Speaker 3: And it's a lot of people's story here and I
[14:23] Speaker 3: do this a lot.
[14:24] Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot of people's story here.
[14:25] Speaker 3: But I have real parents, So I have parents that
[14:28] Speaker 3: if I had told them, I mean when I tell you,
[14:30] Speaker 3: they would have Trent.
[14:32] Speaker 4: They would have been teleported here. They would have teleported here.
[14:35] Speaker 3: And so I didn't tell them. I told my best friend.
[14:37] Speaker 3: My best friend would send me Western Union.
[14:39] Speaker 4: Western Union used to be a thing, y'all. Did you
[14:42] Speaker 4: know what I'm saying? Western Union was the thing. Now
[14:45] Speaker 4: we got cash app and everything, but Western Union.
[14:48] Speaker 3: He would send me, like, you know, one hundred dollars
[14:49] Speaker 3: seventy five dollars at the time. And that's how I
[14:52] Speaker 3: was really getting by and surviving. And so because I'd
[14:55] Speaker 3: had multiple jobs before. As an artist, you have to.
[14:57] Speaker 4: Have multiple jobs. I have multiple jobs before.
[15:00] Speaker 3: I was an assistant to the editor in chief of
[15:02] Speaker 3: Giant Magazine as the damage mil Wilbikin. He now has
[15:05] Speaker 3: this thing called Native Son.
[15:06] Speaker 4: Oh wow wants that? And he used to run Vibe.
[15:09] Speaker 3: I was his assistant for a while, and I was like, Okay,
[15:11] Speaker 3: if I'm going to do something here, I need to
[15:13] Speaker 3: make it make sense. So I put out a lot
[15:15] Speaker 3: of job applications every I even put a job appacation
[15:17] Speaker 3: at seven eleven.
[15:18] Speaker 4: They did not hire me. I'm like, I can make
[15:20] Speaker 4: a slurpery. I really feel like I can make a slurpery,
[15:22] Speaker 4: but it's fine, it's fine. And I went to a
[15:24] Speaker 4: temp agency.
[15:25] Speaker 3: Long story shore, I went to a temp agency, and
[15:27] Speaker 3: the temp agency's job is to not tell you what
[15:29] Speaker 3: the job is because then you could just go straight
[15:31] Speaker 3: to it, right. They told me about this job at
[15:34] Speaker 3: a place and I was like, okay, let me just
[15:36] Speaker 3: go ahead, fast forward. It was to be the temp
[15:38] Speaker 3: assistant to the CEO at the time. I started off
[15:41] Speaker 3: as a temp assistant to the CEO at the time
[15:43] Speaker 3: while I was living in my car, which was interesting
[15:46] Speaker 3: because you know, at that point, if you make the
[15:48] Speaker 3: tea wrong, you make the car runer, you don't answer
[15:50] Speaker 3: the phone right, you know you're a tempt You're not
[15:52] Speaker 3: really they're not committed.
[15:53] Speaker 4: To your growth there.
[15:55] Speaker 3: And it was an interesting time because when I had nothing,
[15:58] Speaker 3: I felt like I had everything.
[16:00] Speaker 4: As weird as that sounds, yeah, as scary as it was,
[16:03] Speaker 4: I'm like, what's true is this? And what does that sound?
[16:05] Speaker 4: At night? You used to be hearing the craziest sound?
[16:09] Speaker 4: What is that?
[16:11] Speaker 3: And when you got to get up and use the
[16:12] Speaker 3: restaurant them all of these things, you're getting out in
[16:14] Speaker 3: an alley ways, all of those things. And I didn't
[16:17] Speaker 3: grow up in that kind of capacity, so I think
[16:20] Speaker 3: there was a lot of pressure. But I just was like,
[16:23] Speaker 3: I am going to do something. I'm going to do
[16:25] Speaker 3: something great. I'm here for a reason and did not
[16:28] Speaker 3: think that that reason was.
[16:29] Speaker 4: That job in any capacity.
[16:31] Speaker 3: But I had to let go of the idea and
[16:33] Speaker 3: the identity of what was to allow something new to come.
[16:36] Speaker 4: But we don't talk about that in between, because.
[16:39] Speaker 3: The in betweens when you're letting go and when you're
[16:41] Speaker 3: waiting for and you're posturing yourself in the space of
[16:44] Speaker 3: expectancy but you can't quite make out what it is yet.
[16:47] Speaker 3: There was a lot of depression there because I'm an artist.
[16:50] Speaker 3: I'm used to creating, I'm used to performing, I'm used
[16:53] Speaker 3: to to making music. I'm used to doing the things
[16:54] Speaker 3: that I want to do, and now I'm at an
[16:56] Speaker 3: office and whose life is this? But I didn't understand
[17:00] Speaker 3: that I was being positioned not only for me, but
[17:02] Speaker 3: to be able to make impact, you know what I mean.
[17:04] Speaker 3: And so we don't often think that way because it's like,
[17:08] Speaker 3: we want to do what we want to do, but
[17:10] Speaker 3: what if we let go to let God?
[17:12] Speaker 4: Like, what if we are you willing to leave the
[17:15] Speaker 4: good to grasp the grater. Yes.
[17:16] Speaker 3: So anyway I started there became permanent over an extended
[17:21] Speaker 3: amount of time, became permanent and Oscar so White, I
[17:25] Speaker 3: was the executive assistant to the CEO at the time,
[17:27] Speaker 3: and it was an interesting time really just in the industry,
[17:30] Speaker 3: I think, and I used that time where I was like, Okay,
[17:33] Speaker 3: there's a void. I have value. How do I add
[17:37] Speaker 3: my value into the void? So I wrote a job
[17:40] Speaker 3: description and promoted myself essentially by that job description to
[17:45] Speaker 3: move into a different department, and that was the Membership department.
[17:49] Speaker 3: Did that for a while and then honestly just kept
[17:52] Speaker 3: just kept kind of climbing the ranks. It's a long story,
[17:55] Speaker 3: but the short story is I kept climbing the ranks
[17:57] Speaker 3: and was there through its most.
[17:59] Speaker 4: Probably vulnerable times.
[18:01] Speaker 3: You know, when you think about the envelope and you
[18:03] Speaker 3: think about some of the other things that have happened
[18:05] Speaker 3: at the show, but it's not the show, it's the
[18:06] Speaker 3: stuff throughout the year that was also a part of it,
[18:09] Speaker 3: you know, and really being a space to add that
[18:10] Speaker 3: impact and strategy and leverage it. And it's impacted me
[18:14] Speaker 3: in the best of ways. And it's also cost me
[18:17] Speaker 3: a lot, you know, And I think that some of
[18:19] Speaker 3: your biggest blessings can also take a lot out of you,
[18:22] Speaker 3: can also challenge you the most, and it has been
[18:26] Speaker 3: something I'm very grateful for that I've learned a lot
[18:29] Speaker 3: about as I walk into new spaces. But I'm also
[18:34] Speaker 3: completely good with letting it go. And I think that's
[18:37] Speaker 3: the thing is where we get something good, we hold
[18:40] Speaker 3: on to it so long because we think this is
[18:42] Speaker 3: as good as it's going to get.
[18:43] Speaker 2: But I've gotten greater before, so I want to get greater.
[18:46] Speaker 3: I want to get greater against you know what I mean,
[18:49] Speaker 3: And so those kind of things, and it's hard to
[18:53] Speaker 3: walk away from something when you feel like it's your safety.
[18:57] Speaker 4: It's one thing if it's your.
[18:57] Speaker 3: Success, because everybody has their perceived ideas.
[19:02] Speaker 4: And it's interesting, it wasn't even my own.
[19:04] Speaker 3: It was everybody else's perception of my success, everyone else's
[19:07] Speaker 3: perception of your success. There's what's actually happening, and there's
[19:10] Speaker 3: the perception of it. And then if you're not careful,
[19:13] Speaker 3: you can easily get card upon wanting to put up
[19:16] Speaker 3: whatever you think that that is and not really making
[19:19] Speaker 3: the decisions that you need to make. For you, because
[19:22] Speaker 3: the wind might not look like the wind for everybody else.
[19:24] Speaker 3: The whisper that God has for you might not look
[19:26] Speaker 3: like the whisper because everybody else like you made it,
[19:29] Speaker 3: You're good. And I'm like, no, this isn't isn't it,
[19:33] Speaker 3: This isn't it, And I'm grateful for what.
[19:35] Speaker 4: It is, but this is not it. This is not
[19:37] Speaker 4: my full stop. This is right now, you know what
[19:39] Speaker 4: I mean. And so for me, there was multiple, multiple
[19:43] Speaker 4: things that I think that occurred, but I know that.
[19:46] Speaker 4: I'm like, I've done it. Yeah, I did it. And
[19:48] Speaker 4: I think that sometimes we come into things and we
[19:50] Speaker 4: think we have to do all of it, and I'm like,
[19:53] Speaker 4: the part that I did, I know what I did.
[19:54] Speaker 3: I know the impact that I added, and I know
[19:56] Speaker 3: what happened while I was in this space, and most importantly,
[19:58] Speaker 3: I know.
[19:59] Speaker 4: Who I helped. I know who I spoke to.
[20:02] Speaker 3: Yes, I know who I created advocacy for and a
[20:06] Speaker 3: lot of public winds and a lot of private scars, my.
[20:11] Speaker 2: Goodness, I did not know that.
[20:15] Speaker 1: And just to look at you, that's why you just
[20:17] Speaker 1: never know what people did to get where they are.
[20:20] Speaker 1: A lot of times people are not willing to go
[20:22] Speaker 1: through what a lot of people have had to go
[20:23] Speaker 1: through to get to certain.
[20:25] Speaker 2: Places where they feel like you've made it. Yeah I did.
[20:27] Speaker 2: But would you go through what I went through to
[20:29] Speaker 2: get here?
[20:30] Speaker 1: No?
[20:30] Speaker 3: No, And it's the highlight reel, right, it's the I
[20:33] Speaker 3: want the thing that I want, the moment on the carpet,
[20:36] Speaker 3: and it's like the moment on the carpet that's such
[20:39] Speaker 3: a fleeting moment. Are you willing to go through the
[20:42] Speaker 3: things that don't feel good continually and expand your idea
[20:47] Speaker 3: and your limitations of what you had for yourself, because
[20:51] Speaker 3: that's how you allow other these companies, these corporations, these
[20:54] Speaker 3: organizations and people to really treat you, you know what
[20:56] Speaker 3: I'm saying. So for me, it was amazing in so
[21:00] Speaker 3: many different aspects. And like anything any blessing that you have,
[21:04] Speaker 3: there are challenges. There are things that cause you to
[21:06] Speaker 3: question things about yourself, and most importantly, things that remind
[21:10] Speaker 3: you of yourself yeah yeah, yeah, you know yeah, and
[21:19] Speaker 3: or remind you more.
[21:23] Speaker 4: Better. Yeah, this is great. I want to leave the
[21:27] Speaker 4: good to grass the greater. And it's easy to do
[21:30] Speaker 4: that when you know it's on the other side.
[21:31] Speaker 1: When you don't know, and you got to have that
[21:33] Speaker 1: blind faith. It's different.
[21:35] Speaker 4: Yeah, it's very different.
[21:36] Speaker 1: Yeah, So with blind faith, how do you where do
[21:38] Speaker 1: you feel like that came from?
[21:40] Speaker 2: And how are you ab to be? Like?
[21:41] Speaker 1: All right, I don't know what's on the other side
[21:43] Speaker 1: of this, but I'm gonna take this leap.
[21:45] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[21:45] Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting because I think when people make decisions.
[21:48] Speaker 3: I'm fascinated by people's decisions. I'm fascinated by how people
[21:52] Speaker 3: make decisions. But one of the things that I've seen
[21:54] Speaker 3: is the common thread in people making decisions is that
[21:56] Speaker 3: it's never just one decision.
[21:58] Speaker 4: It's multiple decisions that have left up to one decision
[22:01] Speaker 4: right right. And for me, there were multiple things.
[22:04] Speaker 3: That occurred where I was like, hmm, I've put in
[22:11] Speaker 3: First of all, I was too exhausted to dream.
[22:14] Speaker 4: So that's the thing we.
[22:19] Speaker 3: Go up, we share in our comment we share in
[22:21] Speaker 3: the story. When there's a big announcement, you know, an
[22:23] Speaker 3: announcement of a job, announcement of somebody, we go and
[22:25] Speaker 3: it's great, but I don't know that we often think
[22:27] Speaker 3: about what their experience is going to be like in
[22:30] Speaker 3: there beyond that press release moment. Yeah, And I think
[22:34] Speaker 3: that that's a real thing, and I think I was like,
[22:36] Speaker 3: I'm here, i am successful, I'm making more money than
[22:39] Speaker 3: I've ever made, I have access, I have these things,
[22:44] Speaker 3: and I'm too exhausted to dream and is this success
[22:51] Speaker 3: or is this everyone else's idea of success and for
[22:53] Speaker 3: someone else might be great? And even though it's too
[22:56] Speaker 3: exhausted to dream, I kept doing it. I kept wanting
[22:58] Speaker 3: to make the impact because there were some dreams.
[22:59] Speaker 4: But I have dreams outside of this, yeah, right, I.
[23:03] Speaker 3: Have dreams outside of how much this is taking. And
[23:07] Speaker 3: I think that we often don't talk about safety. I
[23:10] Speaker 3: think there's a safety required to be in a ninety
[23:14] Speaker 3: seven or ninety eight year old anything but organization or
[23:18] Speaker 3: anything where it wasn't created at a time. So what
[23:24] Speaker 3: do you think that's like to be the person in
[23:27] Speaker 3: the room right? You know, to speak up, speak out
[23:31] Speaker 3: There's a safety required to feel safe to speak up,
[23:34] Speaker 3: to speak out right. And I think for a good
[23:38] Speaker 3: amount of time I felt that safety to be able
[23:40] Speaker 3: to do so. And then when I felt it wasn't
[23:43] Speaker 3: as safe as it was before, I'm like, Okay, I'm
[23:46] Speaker 3: too exhausted to dream. I don't have what I feel
[23:50] Speaker 3: like I need to continue to be able to blossom
[23:53] Speaker 3: in this space. I've put in so much time here,
[23:57] Speaker 3: I've done so much for other people here, and I'm
[23:59] Speaker 3: so proud of that, and proud of the teams, and
[24:01] Speaker 3: proud of whatever it is. And what would happen if
[24:03] Speaker 3: I started to dream again for me? I started to
[24:06] Speaker 3: put this time in here for me. And I always
[24:10] Speaker 3: ask this question personally and professionally, and I'm the question
[24:13] Speaker 3: is if I love myself, if I really love myself,
[24:16] Speaker 3: and by that, if I trust myself, I believe in myself,
[24:19] Speaker 3: I value myself. What I stay here a relationship, a friendship,
[24:23] Speaker 3: a family ship, a business deal. And when the answer
[24:29] Speaker 3: came a bit more clear to me, it's never.
[24:32] Speaker 4: At the right time. It's never when you think it's
[24:34] Speaker 4: going to be.
[24:34] Speaker 3: It's never at the time when you got the most
[24:36] Speaker 3: money in the ban, when you get whatever whatever. But
[24:38] Speaker 3: it comes at the time when it's clear. And at
[24:40] Speaker 3: that time, I was like, Okay, h I got it
[24:43] Speaker 3: because I've done this before and I'm willing to do
[24:46] Speaker 3: it again because I believe that there is something bigger
[24:49] Speaker 3: than what I'm willing to walk away from.
[24:53] Speaker 2: Wow, I can't. I can say a lot of people
[24:56] Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have walked away.
[24:57] Speaker 4: No.
[24:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, So I commend you that because a lot of
[25:00] Speaker 1: people wouldn't have the wherewithal to be like, you know what,
[25:03] Speaker 1: there is something better, yeah and bigger.
[25:05] Speaker 3: Yeah, And this is huge, this is huge and it's
[25:07] Speaker 3: incredible and it's all of these things.
[25:09] Speaker 4: And it's a job and it's a job and I
[25:14] Speaker 4: can get a job.
[25:15] Speaker 3: Listen, clearly not at seven eleven, but I can get
[25:17] Speaker 3: a job it right, But it's the job. But I
[25:22] Speaker 3: think that when we see these things, we're so attracted
[25:25] Speaker 3: to the light, or we're so attracted to the headline,
[25:27] Speaker 3: we're so attracted to the press release. And I think
[25:30] Speaker 3: that if we could all just pause for a second
[25:32] Speaker 3: and be like, that's great, and that's amazing. And when
[25:35] Speaker 3: you're inside of it and you start to have those questions,
[25:37] Speaker 3: it's like and at what costs?
[25:38] Speaker 4: Yeah, you just got to ask yourself.
[25:40] Speaker 3: And for everybody, it might be completely different. If you
[25:42] Speaker 3: want to have a family, if you want to you know,
[25:44] Speaker 3: do this, if you have other aspirations in your life,
[25:46] Speaker 3: you know, and a lot of people, I think get
[25:48] Speaker 3: in positions and there's the identity, and that identity is
[25:52] Speaker 3: attractive because people seem see you valuable, and that's feeding
[25:58] Speaker 3: and insecurity we may have within ourselves to continue to
[26:01] Speaker 3: be And in a town like this, where it's so
[26:04] Speaker 3: predicated on where you are.
[26:06] Speaker 2: What you do, and that is the first question you
[26:08] Speaker 2: will ask you what you do first? I had to
[26:12] Speaker 2: tell long ago that is so rude. That's like, don't
[26:14] Speaker 2: do that?
[26:15] Speaker 4: Yeah, And she was like what.
[26:16] Speaker 1: I was like, don't that will start the conversation off
[26:18] Speaker 1: like this, Yeah, But you're so right.
[26:20] Speaker 2: That's exactly how they What do you do?
[26:21] Speaker 4: What do you do? And it's cold for not always,
[26:25] Speaker 4: but it's cold for how much respect should I give you?
[26:28] Speaker 4: How can we work together? How can I use you?
[26:31] Speaker 3: And it's not always negative, but it's very upfront, and
[26:34] Speaker 3: I don't think that it's always honest.
[26:36] Speaker 4: And I think that.
[26:36] Speaker 3: It's served so much and you had to know I've
[26:40] Speaker 3: had it's good, serve what it needed to serve, and
[26:44] Speaker 3: it's good. But I do think that we get addicted
[26:46] Speaker 3: to identity and because it gives us a false sense
[26:50] Speaker 3: of power and a false sense of value.
[26:53] Speaker 4: And I think the thing that I am the most.
[26:54] Speaker 3: Proud of out of all the things that have happened
[26:56] Speaker 3: there is that I was myself the whole time.
[26:58] Speaker 2: Good. I was going to ask you that was ever
[27:00] Speaker 2: a moment where you lost your identity?
[27:02] Speaker 4: That's so good? I was myself the whole time.
[27:04] Speaker 3: And I think when I realized that I was no
[27:08] Speaker 3: longer going to be able to show up as the
[27:10] Speaker 3: Seawan that be flourishing, that is when I was like,
[27:16] Speaker 3: I can't do that, Yeah, because I if I'm meeting
[27:19] Speaker 3: someone in any capacity, we're meeting each other and you're
[27:22] Speaker 3: meeting me, and I want to be that person for real.
[27:24] Speaker 4: Yeah, And I realized.
[27:26] Speaker 3: You know, if I couldn't show up like that, I
[27:28] Speaker 3: don't know that I'm really going to be able to
[27:30] Speaker 3: add the value that I would be able to add.
[27:34] Speaker 2: No, that's so true.
[27:35] Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
[27:36] Speaker 1: In your journey, it seems like it was a lot
[27:38] Speaker 1: of ups and down yah.
[27:39] Speaker 2: Was there ever a moment.
[27:40] Speaker 1: Where depression kicked in or were you like, I need
[27:43] Speaker 1: to see mental health because this is a lot or
[27:45] Speaker 1: were you always this type person like I would push
[27:47] Speaker 1: through because I know sometimes we I think as black people,
[27:50] Speaker 1: we've it's in us to just push through, you know,
[27:53] Speaker 1: and sometimes not until late probably like the past couple
[27:57] Speaker 1: of years, mental health and therapy has become a pop yeah,
[28:00] Speaker 1: so to speak, you know, yeah, where before they we
[28:02] Speaker 1: were just like push through.
[28:03] Speaker 2: Nobody cares, Yeah, push through.
[28:05] Speaker 1: So was there any moments where you were like ooh,
[28:07] Speaker 1: or that you wish you looking back, you could have
[28:09] Speaker 1: had someone to talk to those times that.
[28:12] Speaker 4: There was just a moment of full depression. Yeah, I
[28:15] Speaker 4: was waiting for you to stop. I was like, yeah, yeah, no,
[28:17] Speaker 4: there was just a moment of full depression.
[28:19] Speaker 3: And I don't know that it was specifically work only,
[28:23] Speaker 3: and always I think that it's just a moment of like,
[28:27] Speaker 3: you fight so hard, you do all the things that
[28:29] Speaker 3: you think you're supposed to do for the world's idea
[28:34] Speaker 3: of you and what you should be doing, and then
[28:37] Speaker 3: you get in and you're like, why don't I feel
[28:39] Speaker 3: good about this? You know, whether it's I'm on TV
[28:42] Speaker 3: right now, I'm in living room, I dreamed about this,
[28:44] Speaker 3: I'm at the biggest show in the world, I'm around
[28:47] Speaker 3: the people. I've dreamed about this in different scenarios, not
[28:50] Speaker 3: quite this, but and you almost am like, God, am
[28:54] Speaker 3: I being ungrateful?
[28:56] Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying? Like, am I not?
[28:59] Speaker 3: It's something wrong that I am not fully content in
[29:03] Speaker 3: this moment. And I remember actually one time when I
[29:05] Speaker 3: was going to had different bouts with therapy, when I
[29:09] Speaker 3: was looking for a therapist, and I remember going into
[29:12] Speaker 3: an HR person there and was like, I just want
[29:15] Speaker 3: to find somebody.
[29:16] Speaker 4: And it's so difficult to find it. There. We also
[29:17] Speaker 4: want to talk about that it's so difficult to find
[29:19] Speaker 4: a therapist. They're making it a lot easier now.
[29:21] Speaker 3: And I just remember seeing my name and it was
[29:23] Speaker 3: like a folder and it was like Sean Finney depression
[29:27] Speaker 3: and then it was like a list of and it
[29:29] Speaker 3: was just like but it was the first time that
[29:30] Speaker 3: I had really seen it like that, and I was
[29:33] Speaker 3: just like, oh, that is where I am. Oh my goodness,
[29:36] Speaker 3: which wasn't a bad thing, but it was an honest thing.
[29:39] Speaker 4: Yeah, seeing it in the folder for me, I.
[29:41] Speaker 3: Was just like, well, that is why I said I
[29:42] Speaker 3: wanted to come and talk to y'all.
[29:44] Speaker 4: And I guess so, yeah.
[29:47] Speaker 3: I've had those moments, and those moments honestly started well
[29:50] Speaker 3: before I was working those moments. I've had an amazing
[29:53] Speaker 3: childhood and my biggest enemy was always myself.
[29:58] Speaker 4: Super critical, super very hard, super.
[30:01] Speaker 3: Pressure, a lot of pressure on myself to excel, to succeed,
[30:07] Speaker 3: and I've had to just continue to redefine, but what
[30:10] Speaker 3: does success mean for me?
[30:11] Speaker 4: Now? What a success mean for me now?
[30:13] Speaker 3: Because the artist in me was like, success means getting
[30:15] Speaker 3: the deal I got that I didn't and I didn't
[30:18] Speaker 3: take it right. Success was like the job had that. Yeah,
[30:23] Speaker 3: I'm ready, I can separate from this now, right. And
[30:26] Speaker 3: so it's the continuation for me of redefining what success
[30:29] Speaker 3: means for me in every season, just like we get
[30:32] Speaker 3: different wardrobe for the summer yep, so in this season,
[30:35] Speaker 3: just redefining what that means for me now?
[30:37] Speaker 4: Right.
[30:38] Speaker 2: I love it.
[30:38] Speaker 1: I love it where you are now? You what are
[30:44] Speaker 1: you doing now?
[30:44] Speaker 2: Because I know, yes, the good grades and I'm like, you.
[30:50] Speaker 4: Know, some things will come out very very soon. But but.
[30:58] Speaker 3: Just because I want the audience to really think about it,
[31:01] Speaker 3: because I think that for a while I felt like
[31:03] Speaker 3: I needed to answer that question and there's a pressure
[31:05] Speaker 3: to answer that question. And the truth is the biggest
[31:10] Speaker 3: project I'm ever going to work on as myself, you
[31:13] Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. And so I remember having this
[31:15] Speaker 3: conversation with someone they were like, who are you doing?
[31:17] Speaker 4: Because again it becomes like this thing where it's like,
[31:19] Speaker 4: I need to know how I can work with you
[31:21] Speaker 4: and what we're gonna do. And I was just like, me,
[31:24] Speaker 4: I'm working on me.
[31:26] Speaker 3: And it was really jarring to them because they were like,
[31:28] Speaker 3: oh me, and I was like, no, no, no, I'm working
[31:30] Speaker 3: on me, and they're like yeah, but no, no, no, I'm like,
[31:32] Speaker 3: what project me?
[31:34] Speaker 4: The project is me. The thing I'm looking at is me.
[31:36] Speaker 3: The thing I'm working on is me, me, me and me,
[31:38] Speaker 3: because I'm going to carry me everywhere that I wanted
[31:40] Speaker 3: to go. And I think in this town and in
[31:42] Speaker 3: this time, there is a need to have something to
[31:46] Speaker 3: say for someone else to feel good about you and
[31:50] Speaker 3: where you're going, or to say, oh I thought you
[31:52] Speaker 3: would have been doing, or to feel bad about what
[31:54] Speaker 3: you're doing.
[31:55] Speaker 4: So it's not just always feeling good, right. And I
[31:57] Speaker 4: think for me, I needed to rest.
[32:01] Speaker 3: Yeah, ten years, it's a long time.
[32:04] Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a long time.
[32:06] Speaker 3: Just be like and I'm a whole human, you know,
[32:08] Speaker 3: having my own experiences, right, And I think I needed
[32:11] Speaker 3: to rest. I needed to relax, I needed to release,
[32:13] Speaker 3: I needed to reimagine.
[32:14] Speaker 4: I needed to dream again. And I've been.
[32:16] Speaker 3: Dreaming again and being able to exercise on some of
[32:18] Speaker 3: those dreams and pay my bills at the same time.
[32:21] Speaker 3: But I think what's also interesting is that we get
[32:23] Speaker 3: to this space where almost I almost takes the emotional thinking,
[32:29] Speaker 3: but to get to this space where we feel so
[32:32] Speaker 3: connected to the things that are not really real in
[32:37] Speaker 3: our lives about it. And I was really happy to
[32:40] Speaker 3: spend my mom's birthday with her and my brother's birthday.
[32:43] Speaker 1: With him because.
[32:45] Speaker 4: I burst out just like going and going and going.
[32:48] Speaker 3: And I appreciate the moments that I've had, and I'm
[32:52] Speaker 3: also appreciating what really really matters in this season where
[32:56] Speaker 3: I'm at right now.
[32:58] Speaker 4: Yah, working on me. I love it.
[33:00] Speaker 1: It is a pressure of like what's next, what if
[33:04] Speaker 1: I do it? And people like oh, I thought, no,
[33:06] Speaker 1: Like that's great that. I love when you say I'm
[33:08] Speaker 1: working on me, because.
[33:10] Speaker 2: That's a big project.
[33:11] Speaker 4: It's the biggest project I ever do.
[33:13] Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, I'm doing stuff that is more
[33:16] Speaker 3: visible when I'm working doing some stuff for LA times
[33:18] Speaker 3: I'm doing working with other filmmakers, and I'm working on
[33:21] Speaker 3: doing strategy and consulting. All that is great too, But
[33:25] Speaker 3: I don't know that I ever necessarily need to answer
[33:28] Speaker 3: the way I used to answer before, and that's nothing
[33:31] Speaker 3: bad about it.
[33:32] Speaker 4: I don't think anyone that does it is bad.
[33:34] Speaker 3: I just think for me, I'm reprogramming for myself to continue.
[33:40] Speaker 4: It's me everywhere I go. It's me.
[33:42] Speaker 3: If I told you I'm landing at this place, or
[33:44] Speaker 3: I'm going to be in house at that place, you
[33:46] Speaker 3: know what I mean. And I think one of the
[33:47] Speaker 3: things that's been a blessing is like I haven't had
[33:49] Speaker 3: to go in house somewhere to survive.
[33:51] Speaker 4: And I think that's.
[33:52] Speaker 3: What's been interesting in the reimagining the dreaming again, where
[33:56] Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, I can make money doing different things.
[34:00] Speaker 4: A word to describe my year every year this year.
[34:03] Speaker 3: Is multiple wow, okay, multiple streams of peace, multiples of love,
[34:07] Speaker 3: multiple streams of income, multiple streams of income and revenue,
[34:11] Speaker 3: but also just multiple streams.
[34:12] Speaker 4: Of like healing, you know what I'm saying.
[34:14] Speaker 3: And in my my in twenty three, when I wasn't
[34:17] Speaker 3: quite sure yet what was going to happen, my.
[34:19] Speaker 4: Word was illuminate.
[34:20] Speaker 3: The thing about illumination is that you can only see
[34:22] Speaker 3: how bright something shines.
[34:24] Speaker 4: Checkstaposed the darkness.
[34:25] Speaker 3: I was in a lot of perceived darkness, which I
[34:28] Speaker 3: now look back and say that was preparation. But in
[34:31] Speaker 3: my year of probably illuminating the most, there was the
[34:34] Speaker 3: most perception of darkness around. But it was for me
[34:39] Speaker 3: to see how bright I could shine and how bright
[34:40] Speaker 3: I could shine, not how bright I can shine at
[34:42] Speaker 3: this job with this because the title we can there's
[34:47] Speaker 3: a job we can go on LinkedIn right now.
[34:49] Speaker 4: There's a lot of jobs. There's a lot of jobs.
[34:52] Speaker 4: But who are you without that?
[34:54] Speaker 3: And that's the question I'm always just like when we
[34:56] Speaker 3: get wrapped up in this because it's so hard acting, creating,
[35:00] Speaker 3: conte producing music, it's so difficult that it almost becomes
[35:05] Speaker 3: your identity because it's what you're doing all of the time.
[35:08] Speaker 4: What if you couldn't do that? Who are you? How
[35:12] Speaker 4: do people answer that question? And so I've just been
[35:14] Speaker 4: working on that myself.
[35:15] Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that, that's going to ask myself that
[35:18] Speaker 1: because I do feel like sometimes we get so wrapped
[35:21] Speaker 1: up in what we do that it becomes who we are.
[35:24] Speaker 1: And that's not the case at all, Yeah, but it
[35:27] Speaker 1: is when you're so wrapped up.
[35:28] Speaker 2: In it, it can become that You'll check it.
[35:30] Speaker 3: You get one hundred percent and there's nothing wrong with
[35:33] Speaker 3: it as long as you can just step out of it,
[35:36] Speaker 3: because it consumed a big part of everything that I
[35:40] Speaker 3: was doing. When your schedule is crazy, when you're going
[35:42] Speaker 3: from this thing to this and this thing this thing,
[35:44] Speaker 3: when it's paying your bills, when you've now able to
[35:46] Speaker 3: been able to create a life that.
[35:48] Speaker 4: Before you weren't able to create it.
[35:49] Speaker 3: For I saw when you were talking to Amber and
[35:51] Speaker 3: when you're talking abou how y'all first met.
[35:54] Speaker 4: We love and she's fly all the time A lot
[35:58] Speaker 4: of time. We love.
[36:00] Speaker 3: But when she was talking about like I think at
[36:02] Speaker 3: that time you couldn't hear your rent and like the
[36:03] Speaker 3: person that she was working with, so like there was
[36:06] Speaker 3: there was a time, and now you're living in a
[36:08] Speaker 3: way where you're like, wow, I wanted this and now
[36:10] Speaker 3: I'm in it.
[36:11] Speaker 4: Yes, you know what I'm saying, So yeah.
[36:14] Speaker 2: That's right.
[36:14] Speaker 1: You said something about I was too exhausted to dream
[36:17] Speaker 1: my own dreams, and I had. I was talking to
[36:20] Speaker 1: someone and they were like, well, if it's from God,
[36:22] Speaker 1: you won't be exhausted. You may be tired, but you
[36:25] Speaker 1: won't be exhausted. And when you said that, it reminded
[36:27] Speaker 1: me that I was like, because I was like this.
[36:29] Speaker 1: Some times I'm like right on the brink, Like, if
[36:32] Speaker 1: it's from God, it won't exhaust you. You may be tired,
[36:35] Speaker 1: but it won't be exhaustion.
[36:37] Speaker 4: I need to re evaluate a few things. Yeah, No,
[36:40] Speaker 4: that's really And I.
[36:40] Speaker 1: Was dan because he won't put more on you than
[36:43] Speaker 1: you can bear. And I do feel like sometimes I'm
[36:45] Speaker 1: right on the brink of it. I'm like, Okay, Lord,
[36:47] Speaker 1: is this in your wheel because I'm about to.
[36:49] Speaker 4: I'm tired, super tired. Yeah, I'm resting. Yeah.
[36:56] Speaker 2: Yeah, So when you said that, it made me think
[36:58] Speaker 2: of that.
[36:59] Speaker 4: Yeah, and.
[37:03] Speaker 3: What are we willing to release in order to step
[37:07] Speaker 3: into what we want to become? And it's so easy
[37:09] Speaker 3: to sit on this beautiful couch, well lit and say that.
[37:12] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, it's the struggle. It's hard.
[37:15] Speaker 3: It's hard because your heart is in it. It's hard
[37:17] Speaker 3: because the attachment is in it.
[37:18] Speaker 4: It's hard because identity is in it.
[37:21] Speaker 3: Whether it's a relationship with someone that you love very much,
[37:25] Speaker 3: whether it's a job or someone that you love very much,
[37:27] Speaker 3: whether it's your relationship with yourself that you're figuring out,
[37:30] Speaker 3: or the things that we've Because sometimes you're like is
[37:34] Speaker 3: it intuition or is it insecurity?
[37:37] Speaker 4: Because sometimes we're like, this is my intuition.
[37:41] Speaker 3: Or is that your insecurity that's causing you to do that?
[37:45] Speaker 4: And I've been both. I've been both, but I'm.
[37:47] Speaker 5: Like, that was my intuition lit to me, I mean,
[37:49] Speaker 5: it kind of was my intuition, but it's also my
[37:51] Speaker 5: insecurity and so like taking that space to actually work
[37:54] Speaker 5: on what those things are to be able to decipher
[37:57] Speaker 5: you know what I mean what that is.
[37:58] Speaker 3: But speaking about dreaming, what's been interesting to me? Even
[38:03] Speaker 3: when I was like, Okay, what what is it? What
[38:05] Speaker 3: do I want to do? How do I want to play?
[38:07] Speaker 3: What do I want to do? I just realized my
[38:09] Speaker 3: approach to dreaming is different. I'm such a producer, I'm
[38:13] Speaker 3: such a I need to make it happy. Even before
[38:15] Speaker 3: we were sitting out like what's the angle? But what's
[38:20] Speaker 3: been interesting for me in this season is like, Sean,
[38:22] Speaker 3: you've produced a lot.
[38:23] Speaker 4: What are you going to allow.
[38:25] Speaker 3: Make space for acceptance and allowance because I'm so used
[38:28] Speaker 3: to being like, Okay, I'm gonna do this, put this together,
[38:30] Speaker 3: and I'm doing and it's like I feel like I
[38:32] Speaker 3: have blessings on reserve that were like trying to be
[38:35] Speaker 3: shipped to me, but I was moving the address, so
[38:37] Speaker 3: it was like return decender and I needed to actually.
[38:39] Speaker 4: Sit in the unknowing allow that to happen.
[38:44] Speaker 3: Because people want to help you, people want to show
[38:47] Speaker 3: up for you. But if you keep moving houses, they
[38:50] Speaker 3: keep going to the house looking for you to deliver
[38:52] Speaker 3: the package to you. And that person's god try to
[38:54] Speaker 3: deliver that to you, it's difficult for him.
[38:56] Speaker 4: To find you. You know what I'm saying. So my
[38:58] Speaker 4: approach to dreams have been different.
[39:00] Speaker 3: And then my other thing is is this really my dream?
[39:04] Speaker 3: Or is this the thing that I think I need
[39:06] Speaker 3: to do to get the bag? Is this the thing
[39:08] Speaker 3: that I need to do.
[39:09] Speaker 4: To seem valuable.
[39:10] Speaker 3: Is this the thing that I need to do to
[39:11] Speaker 3: seem like I'm doing well? So is it actually my
[39:14] Speaker 3: dream that I'm dreaming or is this the dream that
[39:16] Speaker 3: I think I should be dreaming at this phase? And
[39:20] Speaker 3: then what am I willing to release? And then the
[39:23] Speaker 3: hardest part is like saying it out loud, writing it down,
[39:27] Speaker 3: whatever your practice is, with no resistance, no resistance. I
[39:31] Speaker 3: want to speak all over the world and get paid
[39:33] Speaker 3: to speak all over the world.
[39:34] Speaker 4: That's it not how when? Well, who's going to do that?
[39:38] Speaker 4: You just get to a point where you can say
[39:40] Speaker 4: it and then just let it be.
[39:43] Speaker 3: That's been so my approach to dreaming has I've been
[39:46] Speaker 3: taking a lot of time on that than just being
[39:49] Speaker 3: like the dream is this, because the dream is going
[39:52] Speaker 3: to come. The dream is always shifting and moving. The
[39:54] Speaker 3: dream is always repositioning itself. Right, it's centered in something,
[39:57] Speaker 3: but it's repositioning itself. But how I out to find me?
[40:02] Speaker 3: That's a change?
[40:02] Speaker 2: Change, Yeah, that's a change.
[40:04] Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you just looking at you and
[40:06] Speaker 1: like you've seen it, Like you're in a very peaceful
[40:09] Speaker 1: space right now in your life.
[40:11] Speaker 2: What what are you doing?
[40:12] Speaker 1: What have you what steps have you taken to reach
[40:14] Speaker 1: this state? Are you in a peaceful place? Because you
[40:17] Speaker 1: feel very peaceful? And I often want to know, like
[40:20] Speaker 1: what do people do to like reach that phase in
[40:22] Speaker 1: their life? And then what are some practices that you
[40:24] Speaker 1: put in a place that make you feel at most peace?
[40:28] Speaker 3: Who sometimes sometimes I feel like I'm I feel really peaceful,
[40:34] Speaker 3: not all the time, sometimes more times than not. Now
[40:37] Speaker 3: I feel very peaceful, But you're always just like questioning,
[40:42] Speaker 3: even as confident as you can feel and be your
[40:44] Speaker 3: questioning like did I do that?
[40:45] Speaker 4: Did I am? I? Am? I? Am I?
[40:47] Speaker 3: The thing that I've been doing a lot is just
[40:49] Speaker 3: spending time with myself, reminding myself.
[40:51] Speaker 4: I talk to myself a lot. I talk to myself
[40:54] Speaker 4: a lot.
[40:54] Speaker 2: I love you, oh mmmm, I love that.
[40:57] Speaker 4: Because I think.
[41:00] Speaker 3: I think I've been wanting a lot of other people
[41:04] Speaker 3: to say certain things to me.
[41:06] Speaker 4: That I really needed.
[41:07] Speaker 3: To say to myself, and so I'm speaking to myself
[41:12] Speaker 3: a lot more. The things that I feel like are limiting,
[41:17] Speaker 3: I'm redefining is that even a limit? And who told
[41:20] Speaker 3: me that was a limit? And so like who am
[41:21] Speaker 3: I uninterrupted? And what interrupted me?
[41:24] Speaker 2: What is going on today?
[41:25] Speaker 3: I mean, no, it's the same thing, but because it's
[41:28] Speaker 3: like it's that that feeling of like that really when
[41:32] Speaker 3: you sit with yourself without any outside influences and you're
[41:35] Speaker 3: just like, you know yourself, you know the things that
[41:37] Speaker 3: you want to work on, the things that you want
[41:39] Speaker 3: that your heart is calling out, and you're like, I
[41:41] Speaker 3: don't know how this is going to happen. But I've
[41:44] Speaker 3: increased speaking to myself because I've been saying I've been
[41:47] Speaker 3: wanting a love that I think was really vacant within me.
[41:53] Speaker 4: Not because my parents are great.
[41:54] Speaker 3: I had a great childhood, and I think that I
[41:57] Speaker 3: have allowed profess only certain things because of that that
[42:02] Speaker 3: need or that value right you do it professionally and personally,
[42:08] Speaker 3: and I think that has been the biggest part of it.
[42:10] Speaker 3: And it's not that I don't speak when I'm not
[42:14] Speaker 3: in a but it's who am I speaking it to
[42:17] Speaker 3: That's changed a lot for me, because I realize some
[42:24] Speaker 3: people will hold space for you. Everybody won't hold space
[42:28] Speaker 3: for you at your moments where you're changing and finding yourself,
[42:34] Speaker 3: you know. And so I've been doing my best to
[42:38] Speaker 3: replace a lot of that. But I'm peaceful most of
[42:40] Speaker 3: the time. I feel peaceful most of the time. I
[42:44] Speaker 3: am confident in the fact that I have seen God
[42:49] Speaker 3: do so many things in my life that that's not
[42:52] Speaker 3: the thing.
[42:53] Speaker 4: I'm questioning, you know what I mean?
[42:56] Speaker 3: Even when I don't know how you're question I'm like,
[43:00] Speaker 3: I know what's coming, I may not know what it is.
[43:02] Speaker 3: Am I willing to wait for it? Am I willing
[43:03] Speaker 3: to release something without knowing what's on the.
[43:05] Speaker 4: Other side of it? What am I willing to become
[43:07] Speaker 4: in order to do that?
[43:08] Speaker 3: Am I willing to do the harder thing? But I've
[43:10] Speaker 3: learned I can do hard things. I can do hard things.
[43:15] Speaker 3: I need to write people around me. I need to
[43:16] Speaker 3: be the right person to be around as well. But
[43:19] Speaker 3: I can do hard things. So yeah, I mean I am.
[43:22] Speaker 3: I'm at a good place right now. I am in
[43:24] Speaker 3: a good place right now. And when I'm not at
[43:26] Speaker 3: a good place, I'm honest about that.
[43:27] Speaker 2: That's good. That's good. Does it ever feel heavy too?
[43:31] Speaker 1: Because I'm sure like a lot of people look at
[43:33] Speaker 1: you like you've got it all together?
[43:35] Speaker 2: Does it ever get heavy?
[43:35] Speaker 1: Because even when you walk in here, it's like.
[43:38] Speaker 2: Like you ever feel like you got to be like at.
[43:40] Speaker 1: A certain energy and like because you just just because
[43:43] Speaker 1: you know, some days you just don't feel like that.
[43:45] Speaker 2: But like when we see you, it's just like.
[43:49] Speaker 4: You know, you might be like I don't feel like no, no, Well.
[43:51] Speaker 3: You know what the honest thing is is that I
[43:54] Speaker 3: spend a lot of time alone as much as I can. Yeah,
[44:02] Speaker 3: I am extroverted.
[44:03] Speaker 4: I'm also very introverted.
[44:06] Speaker 2: I'm like the biggest introverted extrovert.
[44:08] Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like I can go out and do the things,
[44:12] Speaker 3: I also need time to just like recharge and do
[44:15] Speaker 3: whatever the thing is that I need to do, whether
[44:17] Speaker 3: that's you know what I'm saying, catching up on something
[44:19] Speaker 3: on the show, and it's just like being at the crab.
[44:21] Speaker 3: That's why the gym is important for me. Fitness is
[44:24] Speaker 3: very important for me. It's no but the benefits of it,
[44:30] Speaker 3: I think, are you know, aesthetic, but it's mental for me.
[44:34] Speaker 4: And for me, it's also mental the discipline.
[44:36] Speaker 3: Because I've realized whatever I want and as I continue
[44:39] Speaker 3: to dream bigger, it's a higher level of discipline required.
[44:42] Speaker 4: It's a higher level.
[44:43] Speaker 3: Of releasing required, it's a higher level of decisiveness, It's
[44:46] Speaker 3: a higher level of what are you willing to really
[44:49] Speaker 3: let go of to do this?
[44:51] Speaker 1: I feel like we need to change the title. You
[44:53] Speaker 1: know that keeps coming up and that's a real thing.
[44:55] Speaker 2: What are you willing to.
[44:56] Speaker 4: Let go of? What are you willing to let go off?
[44:58] Speaker 3: Because it's like it's we all don't want to like
[45:00] Speaker 3: be the Space Shuttle, and we all want to take off,
[45:02] Speaker 3: and the Space Shuttle takes off. What the Space Shuttle
[45:05] Speaker 3: goes into space with is not what it took off with. Yeah,
[45:10] Speaker 3: the boosters, all of that, everything drops off and things
[45:13] Speaker 3: drop off as you get.
[45:14] Speaker 4: To next levels.
[45:15] Speaker 2: It's the same with us.
[45:16] Speaker 3: But sometimes we I have wanted to hold on to things,
[45:20] Speaker 3: situations and circumstances because it feels good, because it's comfortable,
[45:24] Speaker 3: because you love it, because you love them, because because
[45:26] Speaker 3: you love the job, you love what it's giving you.
[45:29] Speaker 4: But I also know that I'm supposed to go to space,
[45:32] Speaker 4: and so like, I can't get there with those things.
[45:34] Speaker 3: And so like life will cause you, like the things
[45:37] Speaker 3: that you take off with aren't always the things that can.
[45:39] Speaker 4: Go with you the hard way? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[45:45] Speaker 2: The hard way. And that's so true.
[45:47] Speaker 1: My therapist when I was going through a season my
[45:49] Speaker 1: life I called the purging season, or I was having
[45:52] Speaker 1: to let people go and things go.
[45:54] Speaker 4: I'm glad I was on that list. I made it
[45:56] Speaker 4: through the purging.
[46:00] Speaker 2: It got real.
[46:02] Speaker 1: But she said to me, she said, Crystal, everyone that
[46:04] Speaker 1: came with you can't go. And even that in itself
[46:07] Speaker 1: was like, Okay, this is this is just a part
[46:11] Speaker 1: of you know, and it really is. It's a part
[46:13] Speaker 1: of evolution, is a part of life. It's a part
[46:15] Speaker 1: of growing. And I think when you realize that it's
[46:18] Speaker 1: it's not always a bad thing. You know it's okay,
[46:21] Speaker 1: I've got grown this.
[46:23] Speaker 2: Or this means I'm going to another level.
[46:24] Speaker 1: And most times it's a it's a good thing, and
[46:26] Speaker 1: you're ridding yourself of some person or thing that wasn't
[46:29] Speaker 1: good for you anyway.
[46:31] Speaker 3: And the real thing is sometimes you're the thing you
[46:33] Speaker 3: need to let go. Yes, yes, sometimes you're the limited belief.
[46:37] Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
[46:38] Speaker 3: And I've done that too, where oh it's that thing,
[46:41] Speaker 3: that thing, and I'm like, oh, my ideas, my things
[46:47] Speaker 3: that are no longer serving where I actually want to go,
[46:49] Speaker 3: how I need to move forward in life, and I
[46:52] Speaker 3: can't get there because of me.
[46:54] Speaker 1: And I tell you that's so true. I had a
[46:58] Speaker 1: cousin of mine. I was like, you, you gotta get
[47:00] Speaker 1: at this mindset. You're never gonna grow if you keep
[47:03] Speaker 1: thinking this, And.
[47:04] Speaker 2: She was like, I didn't think about that.
[47:06] Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't think
[47:08] Speaker 1: the same way. I thought, you know what I'm saying
[47:10] Speaker 1: when I was twenty, Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
[47:11] Speaker 1: Then when I turned thirty, I didn't think the same way.
[47:14] Speaker 4: Then.
[47:14] Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, you continue to grow and you have
[47:17] Speaker 2: to evolve with where you're going.
[47:19] Speaker 1: Or you'll never grow, And that is celtry. Sometimes we
[47:21] Speaker 1: can be our own worst enemy and.
[47:23] Speaker 3: Be like and just asking the question, poking the holes,
[47:27] Speaker 3: like what is growth for me? Because growth for me
[47:31] Speaker 3: might be something different, right, growth for your cousin, growth
[47:34] Speaker 3: for it.
[47:34] Speaker 4: You know, success all these things cause like being able
[47:38] Speaker 4: to move.
[47:39] Speaker 3: And do different things and walk away from a job
[47:44] Speaker 3: or a career or a thing that you once thought
[47:46] Speaker 3: was a thing. Right, that's that might be the most
[47:49] Speaker 3: successful thing you ever did, and to somebody else is
[47:51] Speaker 3: a big question mark.
[47:52] Speaker 1: Yeah, when I like, what are you're gonna go to
[47:56] Speaker 1: Atlanta pursue music?
[47:58] Speaker 4: Yeah?
[47:58] Speaker 2: I literally quit a very stable job with benefits and.
[48:02] Speaker 1: Health insurance to go do something I had no idea
[48:06] Speaker 1: like how I was going to do it or anything.
[48:08] Speaker 2: And everybody's looking to be like, you need to pray
[48:11] Speaker 2: about that.
[48:12] Speaker 3: The way, Yeah, and because and see that's the thing,
[48:16] Speaker 3: And because you prayed about it, they think you're supposed
[48:17] Speaker 3: to have an immediate answer to it.
[48:19] Speaker 4: And it's like that's the faith. That's the walk. The
[48:21] Speaker 4: walk is walking without.
[48:24] Speaker 3: The thing being completely clear, but walking anyway, you know
[48:26] Speaker 3: what I'm saying.
[48:27] Speaker 4: And I think that like we.
[48:30] Speaker 3: People project their ideas of what faith is and the
[48:34] Speaker 3: and the limitations of what it can be. Sometimes they
[48:36] Speaker 3: do it to protect you, they do, but they think
[48:38] Speaker 3: they're doing it to protect you. But you went from
[48:40] Speaker 3: there music, costume design and what if you're stand on
[48:43] Speaker 3: the hill and there's nothing wrong with anyone who's still
[48:46] Speaker 3: on that.
[48:46] Speaker 4: Hell, y'all stay on the hill, but you're.
[48:49] Speaker 3: You're on your own hill. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
[48:52] Speaker 3: And that's the part about it is where it's like,
[48:54] Speaker 3: what are you willing to walk away from to step
[48:56] Speaker 3: into something different?
[49:00] Speaker 2: Me earlier?
[49:00] Speaker 1: Yeah, what I had learned about myself in this whole process. Yeah,
[49:03] Speaker 1: and I was like doing it scared, Yeah, because a
[49:05] Speaker 1: lot of times you don't know what's on the other
[49:07] Speaker 1: side of that step that.
[49:08] Speaker 2: You have to take.
[49:09] Speaker 4: Yeah. And I think too, Crystal.
[49:11] Speaker 3: It's like we romanticize success, we romanticize love, romanticize.
[49:18] Speaker 4: What it is, and we make it this.
[49:21] Speaker 3: If it's hard, that must mean it's not for me.
[49:24] Speaker 3: Or if it doesn't work out that one time, that
[49:26] Speaker 3: must mean it's not for me. That's why there's auditions, right,
[49:29] Speaker 3: because you go on auditions you don't get everything.
[49:31] Speaker 4: You go on an audition for it. Here's the other thing.
[49:33] Speaker 4: The person who got the thing is necessarily better than
[49:36] Speaker 4: you either, you know what I'm saying.
[49:38] Speaker 3: And so like the constant audition of life is going
[49:41] Speaker 3: at it and expecting and knowing that you will be
[49:44] Speaker 3: told no, that it's not going to work, that you
[49:46] Speaker 3: didn't get picked this time.
[49:47] Speaker 4: But that doesn't mean that it's not for you.
[49:50] Speaker 3: It could just be known not right now, right And
[49:52] Speaker 3: I think that's a hard thing to kind of process
[49:54] Speaker 3: when it's someone's dreams and someone's going after the dreams
[49:57] Speaker 3: with all of their money in their pocket right now.
[49:59] Speaker 3: Somebody's going to the dream staying on somebody's couch, so
[50:01] Speaker 3: to dreams, living in their car right now, and they
[50:03] Speaker 3: can't have another no. But that that no is only
[50:06] Speaker 3: really kind of really propelling you towards a guest yes later.
[50:10] Speaker 4: But it's your yes.
[50:11] Speaker 3: It's a yes that's going to be undeniable yes. And
[50:15] Speaker 3: when you get the yes, it might not look like
[50:16] Speaker 3: you think it is.
[50:17] Speaker 2: It never does, but it blows your mind. It's like, ah,
[50:20] Speaker 2: I never thought it was gonna be this.
[50:21] Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody's trying out for the NFL. Everyone's not going
[50:24] Speaker 3: to be the star football player. No, but you might
[50:26] Speaker 3: be the coach, might be the chairman, you might have
[50:29] Speaker 3: other different avenues and how you.
[50:31] Speaker 4: Can be in it.
[50:32] Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, and the same thing, but
[50:34] Speaker 3: we have such a distorted view I think of what
[50:36] Speaker 3: it can be because you're.
[50:37] Speaker 4: So protective and precious about what we think it can be.
[50:44] Speaker 1: To close, Sean, I want to ask you what brings
[50:47] Speaker 1: you joy.
[50:50] Speaker 3: Right now? No, seriously, and I say that.
[50:54] Speaker 4: No. I say that because it's like everything else is
[50:58] Speaker 4: so temporary.
[51:00] Speaker 3: I can tell you what brings me Joy's like I
[51:02] Speaker 3: can go get this, I can go buy this, I
[51:04] Speaker 3: can go make this money.
[51:05] Speaker 4: I can go. Yeah.
[51:06] Speaker 3: Community brings me joy, having conversations, being able to share
[51:12] Speaker 3: when things aren't good, being able to leave a voice note,
[51:14] Speaker 3: being able to get one back, being able to pray
[51:17] Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, and being able to remind
[51:20] Speaker 3: myself that like, I'm valuable, I'm lovable even with the
[51:23] Speaker 3: things that I'm working through and figuring out, and being
[51:26] Speaker 3: able to have some of the other side of the couch.
[51:29] Speaker 4: That's like I see you, and.
[51:30] Speaker 3: You're doing good, even though you're not where you think
[51:32] Speaker 3: you want to do, where you want to be right now.
[51:34] Speaker 4: What's bringing me Joy's community?
[51:36] Speaker 2: I love it, Sean. Thank you you are such a delight.
[51:41] Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I love you and I'm so
[51:43] Speaker 4: proud of you. I love you too. Yeah, I love
[51:44] Speaker 4: you so much.
[51:45] Speaker 1: So the close out of the show, we're going to
[51:49] Speaker 1: do what we call positive outcomes.
[51:51] Speaker 4: Oh dope.
[51:52] Speaker 2: The listeners right in and we give them advice.
[51:55] Speaker 4: Oh dope.
[51:56] Speaker 2: So this letter is from Soriah. I'm Sarriah.
[52:00] Speaker 1: I have in the past five years been big on
[52:02] Speaker 1: personal development and mental health and becoming more productive and
[52:06] Speaker 1: planning for my and my family's future as well as
[52:10] Speaker 1: a wife of almost ten years.
[52:11] Speaker 2: With two kids.
[52:12] Speaker 1: At some point five years ago, I felt lost, so
[52:15] Speaker 1: I started working back to find me and what makes
[52:18] Speaker 1: me happy. I started school, received my associates, and now
[52:22] Speaker 1: I'm in school for my bachelor degree and Child and
[52:24] Speaker 1: Family studies and will graduate July twenty twenty five with
[52:28] Speaker 1: my bachelor degree. I see the same therapists for over
[52:31] Speaker 1: the past four years now and have definitely done the work.
[52:35] Speaker 1: Yet I get these spurts of feeling disappointment and dissatisfaction
[52:39] Speaker 1: with myself that sends me into a depressed state of mind.
[52:43] Speaker 1: Feelings that I'm not sure if I'm doing enough or
[52:46] Speaker 1: if I could be doing better. In between all this,
[52:49] Speaker 1: I am trying to also build my business as an
[52:51] Speaker 1: educational consultant for preschool age children. There are many times
[52:55] Speaker 1: I almost feel that I am truly thriving my purpose,
[52:59] Speaker 1: almost questioning God, are you sure this is what I'm
[53:01] Speaker 1: supposed to be doing, because the minimum support I receive
[53:05] Speaker 1: makes me second guess a lot. I know you're not
[53:08] Speaker 1: supposed to think about what other's opinions are, but it's
[53:11] Speaker 1: hard to say that. I don't any suggestions on saying
[53:14] Speaker 1: focus with trying to be an entrepreneur despite the lack
[53:17] Speaker 1: of support, even when you know it's for you, it's right.
[53:21] Speaker 4: That's a beautiful It is beautiful and prouder. She's graduated
[53:25] Speaker 4: in July twenty five.
[53:27] Speaker 3: Yeah, here's the thing. Here's what I'm practicing Sian listening.
[53:33] Speaker 3: This is what I'm practicing. I'm practicing when I'm in
[53:35] Speaker 3: a good space, I write it down when I'm feeling good,
[53:39] Speaker 3: when I'm hearing clearly God's direction, when I'm feeling good
[53:43] Speaker 3: about what I'm doing, I write it down because i
[53:45] Speaker 3: know there's gonna be a day that I don't feel good
[53:47] Speaker 3: and I need to come back towards the truth. I
[53:49] Speaker 3: think sometimes the fear to us feels so true and
[53:52] Speaker 3: it's a lie because it's the worry of what could
[53:55] Speaker 3: be for so many different reasons. Yes, but the truth
[53:59] Speaker 3: is the truth, and so I always like to create
[54:02] Speaker 3: a space to come back to the truth, and like,
[54:05] Speaker 3: this is what I'm doing.
[54:06] Speaker 4: Second of all, I feel my feelings.
[54:07] Speaker 3: Yeah, so when I feel bad, I'm not the person
[54:09] Speaker 3: who's like, you shouldn't feel I feel bad. I let
[54:12] Speaker 3: myself feel bad. It's like a cold. I feel my
[54:15] Speaker 3: throat getting scratched. I'm like, I'm gonna take the medicine
[54:18] Speaker 3: need to take.
[54:18] Speaker 4: But in order for it to go, it has to
[54:20] Speaker 4: pass through.
[54:21] Speaker 3: Now, everybody's passing through some two weeks too long, So
[54:24] Speaker 3: you got things to do. But I'm honest about how
[54:27] Speaker 3: I feel, and I go back to the truth because
[54:30] Speaker 3: the truth is and it gives you permission, right because
[54:33] Speaker 3: and I think we're not being honest with ourselves about anything.
[54:35] Speaker 4: In entrepreneurship is so difficult.
[54:37] Speaker 3: It has stretched so many ideas of what I thought
[54:40] Speaker 3: and how, and people make it seem and be very easy,
[54:44] Speaker 3: and it's not, And I think that if so, I
[54:46] Speaker 3: would to realize and understand that everything she's experiencing, the
[54:49] Speaker 3: person she admires the most is also experiencing the same thing.
[54:52] Speaker 4: But that person goes back to their truth. So I
[54:55] Speaker 4: would write down the truth.
[54:55] Speaker 3: I would write down what God is saying to me
[54:57] Speaker 3: in the moments when it's sad, as highest when it's real,
[55:00] Speaker 3: because if I'm operating from that place of deficiency, which
[55:03] Speaker 3: is fear, which is so normal, we.
[55:04] Speaker 4: All do it.
[55:05] Speaker 3: I do it all the time, that's not the truth
[55:08] Speaker 3: of where and who we are.
[55:10] Speaker 2: No, it's not.
[55:11] Speaker 4: That's so good.
[55:13] Speaker 3: And also I would tell her write down, write down
[55:15] Speaker 3: what she's done, because even just in that, she's already
[55:17] Speaker 3: done so much. Yeah, I'm like, you've already done so
[55:21] Speaker 3: much that sometimes when your head.
[55:22] Speaker 4: Is down and you're just walking, you're not able to
[55:25] Speaker 4: see it.
[55:25] Speaker 3: When I first started learning how to drive, I would
[55:27] Speaker 3: drive and I would look down, like at the hood,
[55:29] Speaker 3: because I'm like, my Dad's like, you got to look
[55:31] Speaker 3: further down the road.
[55:33] Speaker 4: So the same thing, like just look further down, but
[55:36] Speaker 4: just look back in the rear view mirror and be like,
[55:38] Speaker 4: I'm twenty four exits past where I used to be.
[55:41] Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, That's what I would said.
[55:43] Speaker 2: It is so good.
[55:49] Speaker 1: The next thing we do is what I'm going through
[55:51] Speaker 1: and what I'm growing through.
[55:53] Speaker 4: Yes, and for me.
[55:58] Speaker 1: In this season, I am growing going through just really
[56:11] Speaker 1: understanding that everything is in God's time, because I do
[56:14] Speaker 1: still sometimes like Okay, sometimes I'll put God the timeline.
[56:17] Speaker 4: Yeah, this going.
[56:21] Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, we need to get this done.
[56:23] Speaker 1: But I've learned to just let him do his thing
[56:25] Speaker 1: because there are sometimes where I'm like, Okay, Lord, like
[56:27] Speaker 1: I've been waiting for a long time, like when.
[56:29] Speaker 4: Are we gonna move in this area? Yeah?
[56:31] Speaker 2: So still trying to.
[56:32] Speaker 1: Be patient and and not rush him because I know
[56:36] Speaker 1: sometimes when we do that, he'll get going to give
[56:38] Speaker 1: us what we asked for, but it ain't what we want.
[56:40] Speaker 2: So that's what I'm going through and growing through.
[56:43] Speaker 3: What am I going through and growing through? I think
[56:48] Speaker 3: I'm going through change, and I think change always feels uncomfortable,
[57:05] Speaker 3: but it's also right where I'm supposed to be. So
[57:08] Speaker 3: it's an interesting concept of like I'm going through things
[57:11] Speaker 3: out of my element that are so different but also
[57:15] Speaker 3: so necessary for where I'm.
[57:17] Speaker 4: About to go.
[57:18] Speaker 3: And so I think I'm going through understanding, releasing what was,
[57:22] Speaker 3: and stepping into.
[57:23] Speaker 4: What will be.
[57:24] Speaker 3: Yeah, and that isn't always as easy as it seems.
[57:28] Speaker 3: And we glamorize romanticize stepping into your next version of yourself,
[57:33] Speaker 3: but we don't often talk about it's okay to miss
[57:36] Speaker 3: something that you had, because that's the truth. You're human, right,
[57:39] Speaker 3: It's okay to miss aspects of certain things or people
[57:42] Speaker 3: or situations or circumstances. And I think I'm going through
[57:45] Speaker 3: realizing that every level is going to require a new
[57:49] Speaker 3: level of not only my faith, but a new level
[57:51] Speaker 3: of releasing from me.
[57:53] Speaker 2: That's good.
[57:54] Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good.
[58:00] Speaker 1: And the last thing we do is keep it blank, sweety.
[58:03] Speaker 1: And for this one, I will say, keep it disciplined,
[58:06] Speaker 1: sweetie m. We talked about every level type of discipline.
[58:12] Speaker 2: Yeah, in every state disciplined, sweetie.
[58:15] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[58:16] Speaker 3: And keep it blooming, sweety, because keep it blooming scar
[58:21] Speaker 3: Because I think the thing about it is that like
[58:24] Speaker 3: we're just looking at the flower, but underneath are the roots, Yeah,
[58:28] Speaker 3: and how far that is and how deep that is,
[58:31] Speaker 3: And it's in seasons, right when you're looking at the
[58:33] Speaker 3: trees in the wintertime. It looks like it's dead, but
[58:36] Speaker 3: all the energy is really at the bottom, so just
[58:38] Speaker 3: keep it blooming, Sweety.
[58:39] Speaker 4: I love it, Yeah, I love you.
[58:42] Speaker 2: Oh God heard, Oh my gosh.
[58:45] Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much for tuning to this episode
[58:47] Speaker 1: of Keep It Positive, Sweety. If you want to write
[58:49] Speaker 1: into our Positive Outcome listener letter, you can write in
[58:52] Speaker 1: to keep It Positivesweety at gmail.
[58:53] Speaker 2: Dot com and as Sweetye with an Ie.
[58:56] Speaker 1: You can follow me on all platforms at l u
[58:58] Speaker 1: V christorinee and tell the people they can.
[59:00] Speaker 3: Find you Instagram, Sean finnybe Flourishing, Twitter, Shanbie blooming.
[59:06] Speaker 4: And that's really it.
[59:08] Speaker 1: Yeah, tapping with Sean, stay up to date with all
[59:12] Speaker 1: the amazing things that he has coming up in the future.
[59:14] Speaker 1: And if you want a little sunshine you're light, just
[59:17] Speaker 1: follow him right now.
[59:18] Speaker 4: You'll definitely get that.
[59:19] Speaker 1: All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into
[59:21] Speaker 1: this episode of Keep It Positive.
[59:22] Speaker 2: Sweetie.
[59:22] Speaker 1: In the meantime in between times, you know what to do.
[59:25] Speaker 1: Keep it positive, Sweetie.
[59:27] Speaker 2: Bye,

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