# Incredible Things People Found Under Their Bed

An episode of [Be Amazed](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1687637469), 20 Oct 2025, 23 min.

Audio: https://audio4.redcircle.com/episodes/a6394a6a-a31e-442f-9749-6ed9e777bb6f/stream.mp3

From abundances of junk to filthy old socks that look as if they may be breathing, there are plenty of interesting things to be found under people’s beds. But in this episode we’re delving beneath beds that have hidden truly extraordinary things. From treasures worth millions, to monsters in every sense of the word, stay tuned to see what lies beneath the treasure troves we call beds! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

## Transcript

[0:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: From abundances of junk to filthy old socks that look as if they may be breathing, there are plenty of interesting things to be found under people's beds.
[0:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But in this episode, we're delving beneath beds that have hidden truly extraordinary things.
[0:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: From treasures worth millions to monsters in every sense of the word, stay tuned to see what lies beneath the treasure troves we call beds.
[0:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: People often think that monsters under your bed is merely a thing of childhood imagination.
[0:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But the truth is, when the lights go out, you can never be certain of what phantoms creep below.
[0:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Someone who knows this all too well is former Zimbabwe, an international cricketer, guy with all.
[0:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In two thousand thirteen guy checked into the humani lodge in Zimbabwe.
[1:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As he tucked into breakfast one morning, he was alarmed by the shriek of a house made coming from his room.
[1:11] \[SPEAKER_01\]: He burst in and found the source of the maid's terror.
[1:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: A beastly, three hundred thirty pound crocodile was prowling beneath the bed.
[1:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Amazingly, this crocodile had gone undetected the whole night, as it's thought to have climbed under their seeking warmth as guy slept.
[1:29] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The guy even recalled how he'd perched on the edge of his bed when he awoke and dangled his feet unaware of the bite he beast below.
[1:37] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I know what you're thinking.
[1:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: How could you not notice a three hundred thirty pound crocodile under your bed?
[1:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, you'd be surprised at just how sneaky these creatures can be.
[1:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: After all, it's how they hunt.
[1:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: With the crock found, it wasn't long before hotel staff wrangled it back outside from whence it came.
[1:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Hopefully, the reptile will have the courtesy to book a room in advance next time.
[2:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If you're anything like me and the other one hundred million people in the US who suffer from Iraqophobia, aka the fear of spiders, then you might want to skip this next story.
[2:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Close encounters with these eight-legged critters can be intimidating, and no one knows this better than photographer, Gil Wizzin, who crossed paths with the world's most venomous spider in twenty-twenty-one.
[2:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Staying at a nature reserve in Napo, Ecuador, he began to notice tiny spiders scuttling around his bed.
[2:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As he peered beneath it, the root of the problem made itself known, he found huge mama spider with a seven-inch leg span and her skin crawling offspring.
[2:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The spider was identified as the infamous Brazilian wandering spider, which, if you didn't know, a single bite from this brute can result in nausea, vertigo, blurred vision, severe burning, and sometimes death.
[2:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Luckily for Gil he lived to tell the tale, in fact his portrait of this spidey family ended up bagging him the urban wildlife photographer of the year award in twenty twenty one.
[3:11] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If that happened to me, I probably would have fled the room at the first sight of the baby spiders alone, never mind taking snaps of Big Mama.
[3:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Next up, in two thousand nineteen, a financial survey found that five point four percent of American households were unbanked, meaning they didn't possess bank accounts, which begs the question, where do they keep their money?
[3:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, as it turns out, some people keep their hard-earned bread under the bed.
[3:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yep, in two thousand seventeen U.S.
[3:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: prosecutors revealed they'd seized twenty million dollars in cash found stashed under a bed in Massachusetts.
[3:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: How did so much cheddar end up in one place?
[3:51] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, strap in because we're about to untangle a whole web of fraud.
[3:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Okay, so the year is two thousand twelve and James Merrill and Carlos Wanzler hatch a cunning plan to pose as an internet telecom company under the name of Tlex Free.
[4:07] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Their startup would allegedly sell voice over internet telephone services, allowing people to make phone calls over an internet connection.
[4:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: However, the truth would come to reveal a pyramid scheme that swindled almost one million people out of a collective one point seven six billion dollars.
[4:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Charging their victims joining fees to become promoters and getting them to post ads for their product online, proved to be the crux of this fraudulent scheme.
[4:37] \[SPEAKER_01\]: By April, in the company had filed for bankruptcy, shifting its losses onto the unlucky promoters.
[4:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Soon after Merrill was sent to the slamer on fraud charges, while Wanzler fled to Brazil.
[4:51] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It wasn't until two-thousand-seventeen that Cleber Renee, Rosario Rocha, entered the picture.
[4:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: He was sent to the US on behalf of Wanzler to transport two-point-two million dollars in cash.
[5:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: However, while Rocha carried out his operations, federal agents tailed him back to an apartment complex and Massachusetts where they came to discover twenty million dollars stacked and stashed beneath the bed.
[5:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The money was seized and the U.S.
[5:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Department of Justice website claimed that proceeds would be returned to the identified, TELX-free victims.
[5:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So I guess the moral of the story is, if you're gonna defraud one million people out of one point seven six billion dollars, you'd better find somewhere better to stash the cash than under your bed.
[5:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now let's move on to something more musical.
[5:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As a very cultured and distinct gentleman myself, I'm an avid enthusiast of the violin.
[5:47] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Fluent in the language of prestige and high society, this instrument has been around for over five hundred years.
[5:54] \[SPEAKER_01\]: With the world's most expensive valued at twenty million dollars, it's no wonder these instruments exude the very essence of Latida.
[6:03] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The Viewtomb Gardenary is the world's second most valuable violin, valued in astonishing sixteen million dollars.
[6:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It was conceived in seventeen forty-one by the renowned Italian instrument craftsman, Giuseppe Guarnary.
[6:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: During the nineteenth century, the famed fiddle fell into the hands of Belgian composer Henri Vuitton, who, as you can guess, is responsible for its nickname.
[6:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In fact, Enre's love affair with the instrument was so profound that he allegedly wanted to be buried with it, though for whatever reason this never happened.
[6:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Some years later, this Italian stallion violin trotted into the hands of a British financier and philanthropist Ian Stoutskur.
[6:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Though the sad truth is that Ian kept the old girl hidden beneath the bed where it did nothing more than collect dust for fifty years.
[6:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: However, in two thousand ten, Ian remembered about his insanely significant underbed item and decided it was time to auction it off.
[7:07] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It was soon snapped up by a mystery buyer for sixteen million big ones.
[7:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Whoever the buyer was, they were extremely generous, as they donated the violin to world class player and Akiko Myers.
[7:21] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So you're telling me someone can literally give away a sixteen million dollar violin, but the McDonald's employee can't give me more than one sweet and sour sauce?
[7:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: for shame.
[7:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: From philosophy and astrology to the Olympics and feta cheese, we have a lot to thank the ancient Greeks for.
[7:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: They pioneered the modern world and remnants of it can still be found today, even under people's beds.
[7:47] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That was proven in, in, two thousand sixteen when an elderly British man who remains anonymous was decluttering his house.
[7:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And part of the clutter was actually a two thousand three hundred year old Greek artifact that had haphazardly been bunched in newspaper and tossed under a bed.
[8:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: If you listen carefully, you can hear the cries of archaeologists far and wide.
[8:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The artifact was a gold-reath crown that was authenticated and expected to value anywhere in the region of one hundred thirty thousand to two hundred sixty two thousand dollars.
[8:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But how does an old British guy come to casually own a millennia old Greek artifact?
[8:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, the exact story of its acquisition remains unclear, though the owner believes he inherited it from his late grandfather.
[8:36] \[SPEAKER_01\]: His grandfather was a collector who was fascinated by archaeology in the ancient world, and likely obtained it during his frequent travels in the nineteen forties.
[8:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The crown depicts the branches of Laurel Murtle, Oak and Olive trees, and experts review the great condition of this exceptionally rare fine.
[8:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Due to their extreme fragility, these wreaths would be worn only on special occasions, and they were often placed in the graves of aristocrats, which was likely the story for this crown, as bits of dirt can be seen embedded into it.
[9:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This historically rich crown likely made the old man very rich too, when it sold in June, in June, in June, though the exact sum remains unknown.
[9:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Whatever the case, I'm sure it fetched a hell of a lot more than the old pieces of headwear, namely old baseball caps lurking under my bed.
[9:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It's easy to imagine the questionable items that populate hotel loss property boxes far and wide.
[9:41] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Though hotel employee Jim Angelton discovered something particularly bizarre that overstep the mark.
[9:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: People often say, I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on, and apparently that can also apply to feed.
[9:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yep, one person actually left a foot under their hotel bed.
[10:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: A prosthetic one that is.
[10:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Nevertheless, someone managed to hobble out of the hotel with one less foot than when they arrived.
[10:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now I'm just speculating, maybe it was a spare one or perhaps even belonged to a door to door prosthetic foot salesman, who knows?
[10:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Either way, Jim explained how he quickly had a security person removed the miscellaneous foot in a garbage bag, as he didn't want to touch it himself.
[10:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Safe to save, someone standing slightly as skew shows up at the lost and found, Jim can probably assume what they're there for.
[10:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I know what you're here for.
[10:36] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Amazing, factual and even a little funny content.
[10:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And your wish is my command.
[10:43] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So why not show some appreciation by following my podcast and leaving a five star rating?
[10:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Great stuff.
[10:50] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now let's get back to some underbed diving.
[10:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Every year around eight million children are reported missing around the world.
[10:59] \[SPEAKER_01\]: For parents, this is likely their ultimate fear.
[11:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I once went missing as a child, my parents accidentally left me at the side of a highway and drove off.
[11:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Luckily for them, I found my way home.
[11:11] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Anyway, in two thousand seventeen British mom, Michelle Denning reported her nine-year-old son Josh as missing at nine-fifteen in the morning.
[11:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Having not seen him since bedtime the night before she feared the worst for her son's wearabouts.
[11:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It wasn't long until the police were searching the house nearby rivers and scouring the local area by helicopter search.
[11:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Dozens of neighbors pitched in with the search as they handed out images of Josh, but he was nowhere to be found.
[11:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Three hours passed and the reality was looking bleak.
[11:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In a last ditch effort, Michelle asked the police to search the family home again, which is when they made the shocking discovery.
[11:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: They found Josh's body under a bed.
[11:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As you can imagine, the family were shocked to the core, especially considering that he was alive.
[12:02] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Oh yeah, didn't I mention?
[12:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Josh was completely fine, he just really didn't want to go to school.
[12:08] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yep, three hours of heartache and grief, all because this guy wasn't in the mood for learning.
[12:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Fearing his cunning plan had gotten out of hand, Josh explained how he could hear people searching for him, but was scared of getting in trouble.
[12:23] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So decided to stay put under his bed.
[12:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And sure, nine-year-olds aren't generally known for planning ahead, but I'd be interested to know when exactly he planned to come out.
[12:33] \[SPEAKER_01\]: All things considered his plan to bunk off school technically worked.
[12:37] \[SPEAKER_01\]: All I can say is well played, Josh.
[12:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well played.
[12:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Singles are no laughing matter, as I'm sure sixty-five-year-old Guatemala resident in a center her nandes would tell you.
[12:48] \[SPEAKER_01\]: On an ordinary day back in two thousand eleven in a centa was watching her grandchildren playing on her patio when a huge boom suddenly rumbled through her home.
[12:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Assuming it to be a car crash or an exploding gas canister, she rushed out to the street to investigate, yet she saw nothing.
[13:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It was then that a passerby approached her to inform her the noise had actually came from her own house.
[13:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Shocked she headed back in, only to discover a thirty-one inch wide, thirty-nine foot deep sinkhole had appeared beneath her bed and her downstairs bedroom.
[13:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: These treacherous sinkholes are common in Guatemala and other areas of the world that typically have rocked below the surface that is naturally dissolved by groundwater.
[13:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As water from rainfall travels through the soil, these rocks begin to dissolve which results in underground cavities being formed.
[13:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Everything above the ground appears completely normal, while this process is happening, until one day it went boom.
[13:50] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And trust me, they can be catastrophic.
[13:54] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In fact, in two thousand seven, another Guatemalan sinkhole that was four hundred ninety two feet deep swallowed up several homes in a truck, claiming three lives in total.
[14:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So it seems inocenta got off easy this time.
[14:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Just imagine being in bed while a gaping void to the abyss emerges below you, talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
[14:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Gather around my friends because it's now time for a ghost story of sorts.
[14:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This spooky tale takes us back to two thousand fourteen when a Seattle couple Brian and Bridget O'Neill returned to their apartment only to discover things weren't quite as they'd left them.
[14:38] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Lotion had been smeared on their door knobs, junk mail shredded open, paint poured down the toilet, and perhaps the strangest of all, souls prized out of twenty pairs of shoes.
[14:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Their world had literally been turned upside down, which they initially suspected at the hands of burglar.
[14:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: However, a police inquisition would prove nothing had been stolen, which the couple concluded could only mean one thing.
[15:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: up holtergeist.
[15:07] \[SPEAKER_01\]: After the cops left, the onel's began to hear strange spooky noises.
[15:12] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Noises they could only liken to a dying possum.
[15:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The sounds of the quote unquote holtergeist seemed to be coming from under the couple's bed, but for their peace of mind, the onel's had the police come and take a look under there for them just in case.
[15:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That's when the chilling truth was revealed.
[15:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: There was no ghost under there, nor even a dying animal.
[15:37] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It was, in fact, a woman, a heavily intoxicated woman.
[15:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yep, lurking beneath their bed armed with a kitchen knife and a hypodermic needle was a twenty-seven-year-old, lanky and wild-eyed woman, who, for demonstrative purposes, will call Mrs. Crystal Methane.
[15:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Our pal Crystal had been there at least two hours and later admitted to the police how she'd been on a substance-addled rampage for several days.
[16:06] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In her intoxicated haze, the police suspected she'd climbed into the house via the bedroom window and unleashed sheer chaos before eventually retiring to safety under the bed.
[16:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Yet, even with paint down the John and soul issues, the O'Neill's didn't feel contempt towards this woman so much as they did sympathy.
[16:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Bridget even said she felt bad for the woman, though I'm sure her attitude changed later, when she was nursing her sore feet on account of her soulless shoes.
[16:35] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But if you want an even creepier story, then let's explore a Reddit post from user Tam Hasten in two thousand sixteen.
[16:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As all good horror films start, her parents had just moved into a new house.
[16:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As the Redditor checked the place out, they flopped onto their back on the bed in one of the rooms, only to discover something truly chilling.
[16:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That is a faint ghostly message on the ceiling that read, I'm under the bed.
[17:03] \[SPEAKER_01\]: While presumably a prank left by a previous resident, the Redditor was able to share the post so we can assume there weren't actually any killers or ghouls under the bed, but I'd probably still recommend burning the house down anyway just to be sure.
[17:18] \[SPEAKER_01\]: While it's no secret that finding a person under your bed is a thoroughly frightening idea, that concept reaches its terrifying peak in this next encounter, shared online by Redditor Meira.
[17:30] \[SPEAKER_01\]: When Meira was around twenty, she just moved into her first apartment and was on the phone to her boyfriend while collecting her mail from the building's entrance.
[17:40] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As she returned to her room, she perched on the edge of the bed only to lose grip of her phone.
[17:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It slid beneath her bed leading her to a terrifying discovery.
[17:49] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As she bent down to pick it up, her heart stopped as she discovered a man lying under her bed with his back to her.
[17:57] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Thinking fast, she picked up the phone loudly stating to her boyfriend how she was going to get in the shower.
[18:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: She immediately fled to the bathroom and discreetly locked the door, with her room being on the bottom floor she was able to escape to safety out the bathroom window.
[18:14] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The police were alerted and what they discovered inside was a thin, tired-looking man waiting outside her bathroom door, armed with a kitchen knife.
[18:23] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Had the girl not been so calm and collected, we may not have been hearing her version of events today.
[18:31] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now, considering this story has only been shared anonymously online makes its credibility problematic.
[18:38] \[SPEAKER_01\]: That being said, unfortunately, things like this aren't unheard of in the world of verified news.
[18:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In two thousand fourteen for example, British eighteen-year-old Kyle Ravenscroft decided he would send a series of sinister text messages to a sixteen-year-old girl he'd become obsessed with.
[18:56] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The poor girl was so afraid that she decided to sleep in her mother's room that night, but as her head hit the pillow, her phone lit up again.
[19:05] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I'm watching you, I am in your house, the text read.
[19:10] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It seemed like an impossible baseless threat, but nonetheless incredibly unnerving.
[19:17] \[SPEAKER_01\]: But here's the worst part, when she returned to her room the next morning, things weren't quite as she'd left them.
[19:24] \[SPEAKER_01\]: something in the air felt wrong.
[19:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Very wrong.
[19:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Hearing beneath her bed the girl found Kyle Ravenscroft seemingly lying in wait.
[19:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The girl's mom yelled at Kyle and immediately alerted the police while he ran like the wind stealing the girl's phone while fleeing.
[19:42] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Later inspection would find that the handle to the girl's bedroom window had been completely snapped off, concluding that the creepy Kyle had broken his way into her room in the night.
[19:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It's pretty horrifying to think what might have happened had the girl not slept in her mother's room that night, but unbelievably, in the end, Kyle got off light.
[20:03] \[SPEAKER_01\]: He was merely being fined, one hundred pounds, and made to undergo a behavioral rehabilitation course with the court defense labeling him a bright young man capable of change.
[20:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I see, change, and God knows what else.
[20:20] \[SPEAKER_01\]: So check under your bed, folks.
[20:22] \[SPEAKER_01\]: There's a creature on the loose who answers to the name, Kyle.
[20:27] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now, picture the scene, a single ray of sun shimmers through your curtains.
[20:32] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The primal melodies of bird song that have sung demand ever since his first dawn enter your consciousness as you depart from the realm of dreams and awaken to yet another beautiful morning.
[20:44] \[SPEAKER_01\]: As your feet touch the ground, you stretch and release a yon, all while a stranger slowly emerges from inside your mattress.
[20:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Wait, what?
[20:55] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Well, this bizarre scene could well have come true if a strange plan that went badly wrong had a different equally strange outcome.
[21:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: In two thousand eighteen on the border of the Spanish enclave of Malia on the African landmass, Spanish border officers decided to inspect two mattresses that were being transported into Malila.
[21:16] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Sensing something was odd about the mattresses, the officers peeled back the layers of plastic, cut into the fabric, and were soon confronted with a shocking discovery.
[21:25] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Two men were hiding inside the mattresses.
[21:28] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It appeared that they'd excavated the mattresses and fashioned what almost resembled coffins.
[21:34] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And coffins they might have ended up being considering the mattresses were also wrapped in a thick layer of plastic, which would have been insanely hot, not to mention less than ideal for breathing.
[21:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Days, speechless, and barefoot, it's assumed they were attempting to sneak through customs to migrate to Europe for a better life.
[21:52] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Though on this occasion, commuting via a mattress of course proved unsuccessful for these two jets.
[21:58] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Now lastly, I know it's hard to conceive this, but old people were once young.
[22:03] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And just because their old doesn't always mean they don't still like some horizontal refreshment, which isn't euphemism for the old bedroom shuffle, you get the idea, if you're old enough.
[22:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And while I'm sure we all would rather not think about Granny and Grandpa in action, one pensioner in Philadelphia made the news, due to his fondness of shall we say, women of the night.
[22:26] \[SPEAKER_01\]: The saucy-seventy-year-old who was living in an old people's home was stripped of his housing subsidy after the staff found a woman hiding beneath his bed.
[22:35] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Specifically, the kind of woman that can show you a real good time.
[22:39] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And I don't mean a roller coaster attendant, though this tale only gets more unbelievable?
[22:45] \[SPEAKER_01\]: It turned out the old-timer managed to fund his love of the ladies by profiting off other residences he pedaled alcohol to them.
[22:53] \[SPEAKER_01\]: He was described as one of the more mobile residents, and capitalized on this by going on booze runs for neighbors.
[23:00] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Though as you can guess, this wasn't the only way he was active.
[23:04] \[SPEAKER_01\]: This man is everything I aspire to be an old age and more.
[23:09] \[SPEAKER_01\]: And with that we can conclude that anything can lie underneath your bed.
[23:13] \[SPEAKER_01\]: I hope you can get some sleep tonight.
[23:15] \[SPEAKER_01\]: Thanks for listening, see you next time.

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