# #233 Call Me Baby

An episode of [Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1684076859), 9 Jun 2026, 1 h 03 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/16e204f8-7e20-441d-9775-b47f001b3998/9e9cc1ef-7879-42dd-b269-b47f001e22a0/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=cc3ed8c4-97c9-4810-ace6-b47f001b3db5

This week the boys are divided over pet names - Ash says they’re pure ick, while Matt’s fully committed to the cringe. Then things escalate when Ash roasts the way Matt talks to his kids… until Matt produces actual evidence of Ash using a very different voice with Macy. Hypocrite or justified baby chat? We’ll let the Doters decide. Matt and Ash went head-to-head in a fierce battle for tickets to State of Origin Game 2 in Melbourne. You'll have to listen to find out who came out on top. If you want to join the boys at the game, grab your tickets here. Plus the Doters deliver more elite parenting hacks including why ice blocks for breakfast might actually be genius. Consider yourself a smart shopper? Take the ALDI IQ Test today at www.IQ.ALDI.com.au and find out if you’re a true grocery genius... or not. ALDI. Good different. If you want a tradie recommendation or to make one of your own head to www.hernextvillage.com.au or to get in touch with Dan head to https://www.instagram.com/pierce.projects/ If you need a shoulder to cry on: Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: There's a bee in my bonnet. There is a bee
[0:03] Speaker 1: in my bonnet. I went in simple order and they
[0:07] Speaker 1: fucked it up. There was no one even in there.
[0:08] Speaker 2: What did you ask for?
[0:09] Speaker 3: I just asked for a particular chicken rap and I
[0:12] Speaker 3: was like, I'll just get.
[0:13] Speaker 1: It on its own.
[0:14] Speaker 3: It was quiet, was dead, nothing could go wrong. Fucking
[0:17] Speaker 3: hop this thing up full of chili. As soon as
[0:19] Speaker 3: I opened it up. It's pretty much just chili rap.
[0:21] Speaker 3: And guess what was in it? Hallooy, I'm being haunted
[0:25] Speaker 3: by the damn HALLOOMI.
[0:42] Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm mada J and
[0:45] Speaker 1: I'm one annoyed dad.
[0:48] Speaker 2: What's one second it? Sorry, it's the relatable rap because
[0:55] Speaker 2: this morning, just in case people are wondering, the cafe
[0:58] Speaker 2: next to where we record a little bacon egg wrap. However,
[1:01] Speaker 2: this morning there was only one rap left. The option
[1:04] Speaker 2: was Hallumi rap or a Chariza rap. Ash took them
[1:09] Speaker 2: for the team.
[1:09] Speaker 1: Can't stop you right there, There is no ta in theresa.
[1:13] Speaker 2: So I'm sorry. No, you're right, that's very valid. That
[1:17] Speaker 2: criticism is something that I'll take on board.
[1:19] Speaker 3: Take it on board next time. They're probably like back then,
[1:21] Speaker 3: like he called it to Ritzo.
[1:24] Speaker 2: But ash took off for the team. He had the
[1:26] Speaker 2: halloomi and it was just a fucking slab of hallumi.
[1:30] Speaker 2: I've never seen so much halloomi in my life.
[1:32] Speaker 1: It was like an eraser. You wait the whole thing
[1:33] Speaker 1: it was, and you think I'd be full for the
[1:36] Speaker 1: rest of the month.
[1:37] Speaker 2: First bite, as was like, fucking, this is awful. I
[1:40] Speaker 2: look over and you're like, if it.
[1:41] Speaker 1: Was there, it was there. People underestimate the fact that
[1:45] Speaker 1: it's there.
[1:46] Speaker 3: I can't just get that I threw on the ground,
[1:48] Speaker 3: which I that's that means I've had enough of that.
[1:50] Speaker 2: Actually, I was telling ash Vic I for the first
[1:55] Speaker 2: time ever, I sent back a.
[1:57] Speaker 1: Meal oh ye, which again.
[2:00] Speaker 2: Yeah, I was at a restaurant I talk about on
[2:03] Speaker 2: the weekend. But I had an apple crumble that I
[2:05] Speaker 2: sent back. I said, this is not good. Please remove
[2:08] Speaker 2: it from the vent.
[2:09] Speaker 1: It's a rivating story.
[2:10] Speaker 4: How can you get a crumble wrong?
[2:12] Speaker 1: Exactly?
[2:13] Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked. And I had this thing with
[2:16] Speaker 2: a waiter where I was like, don't want the BINOFFI
[2:17] Speaker 2: pie or the apple crumble, and he was like, you
[2:20] Speaker 2: can't go wrong with apple crumble, right, And I was like,
[2:23] Speaker 2: you are right, apple crumble it is And it came
[2:25] Speaker 2: out and I was like, ah, it was a soup.
[2:28] Speaker 2: It was like an apple soup. It was fucking awful.
[2:30] Speaker 2: Wasn't cooked.
[2:31] Speaker 3: I said that apple crumble is just apple pie that's
[2:34] Speaker 3: fallen over.
[2:35] Speaker 1: But this was worse.
[2:37] Speaker 2: This was worse. Don't worry about me, guys, I've recovered.
[2:40] Speaker 2: I'll talk about my weekend away, including the apple crumble incident,
[2:44] Speaker 2: in more detail.
[2:45] Speaker 1: In the sex there is a little.
[2:47] Speaker 2: Bit of sex.
[2:48] Speaker 1: Nice. The only reason I'm here.
[2:51] Speaker 2: But first of all, let's talk about housekeeping.
[2:54] Speaker 1: What we got. What we got for is I've just
[2:56] Speaker 1: got here on notes. It's fucking cold.
[2:58] Speaker 2: It is fucking cold, it is it is. When I
[3:01] Speaker 2: wrote that, can you believe six months into the year, guys,
[3:07] Speaker 2: that's fucking wild.
[3:09] Speaker 1: Han, what what do you are you? It's been too long.
[3:12] Speaker 2: It's gone quick.
[3:13] Speaker 1: Oh I thought you man, it's like, it's it's cold now.
[3:16] Speaker 1: It took six months.
[3:18] Speaker 2: That point had there's two facets to it.
[3:20] Speaker 1: I've lost. I'm last point number one.
[3:22] Speaker 2: We are six months into the year. Point number two.
[3:25] Speaker 2: It is now winter.
[3:26] Speaker 1: Well, would you say six months into the year would
[3:28] Speaker 1: be the end of this month or to the start
[3:30] Speaker 1: of the month. That's a question. I'm asking a hard question.
[3:34] Speaker 2: Don't get bogged down in details.
[3:36] Speaker 1: Don't you. And that's the biggest lie.
[3:43] Speaker 4: Come on now, time flies when you're having fun, is.
[3:46] Speaker 1: What it is? True. I always say that, I've always
[3:48] Speaker 1: said that, I've known for that.
[3:50] Speaker 2: We deserve to pat ourselves in the back, guys, because
[3:53] Speaker 2: last week we had a spike, a huge spike, the
[3:57] Speaker 2: biggest spike we've ever had in the three years of
[3:59] Speaker 2: this podcast. We had a mountain of new listeners come
[4:03] Speaker 2: over and.
[4:04] Speaker 1: We had that one that was a mistake that time.
[4:06] Speaker 2: Remember it was I was like, ash, we're rich. We
[4:11] Speaker 2: had like one hundred thousand downloads in a day, and
[4:13] Speaker 2: I was.
[4:13] Speaker 1: Like, what the fuck?
[4:15] Speaker 3: What we were like looking scouring the internet for what
[4:17] Speaker 3: has been reported on.
[4:18] Speaker 2: I was like, I knew one day would be successful.
[4:21] Speaker 2: And then like it uploaded and it was like, actually,
[4:23] Speaker 2: you had one hundred downloads.
[4:25] Speaker 1: It was like a back end glitch. It was exciting
[4:27] Speaker 1: for that.
[4:27] Speaker 2: It was the best twenty four hours of my lid.
[4:30] Speaker 1: Buy a few j.
[4:32] Speaker 2: But I was wondering all these new listeners. I wonder
[4:34] Speaker 2: where they're coming from. Let me read your review sensational podcast.
[4:41] Speaker 2: It reads, guys, I feel like I'm cheating on Britain
[4:45] Speaker 2: Laura as I've been an og listener to Life on Cut,
[4:50] Speaker 2: but started listening from Holly's episode, and now I'm hooked
[4:53] Speaker 2: and have started from the beginning. You guys make me
[4:56] Speaker 2: laugh and I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I have
[4:59] Speaker 2: years is to catch up on, so now I know
[5:03] Speaker 2: I'll be getting a daily laugh and listening to you guys.
[5:05] Speaker 2: Keep the episodes coming. I read that to Laura and
[5:08] Speaker 2: I thought it was hilarious and the look on her
[5:10] Speaker 2: first I was like, ha, look, you're getting this cold Britain.
[5:16] Speaker 2: Tell her they're deserting your podcast. And then I was like, oh,
[5:21] Speaker 2: she's not laughing, Well she should laugh.
[5:23] Speaker 1: I think that's fun, fun and funny.
[5:25] Speaker 2: I was like, you guys get like a millions, give
[5:28] Speaker 2: us one, give us one listener. Gosh.
[5:31] Speaker 5: I think people are always pleasantly surprised when they do
[5:33] Speaker 5: start listening. I think maybe they have a preconception of
[5:36] Speaker 5: what it is, and then when they listen, they're like, oh,
[5:38] Speaker 5: this is actually really fun.
[5:40] Speaker 1: He's a fun question. What's the preconception?
[5:42] Speaker 4: Well, two dads don't know whoa, whoa, How.
[5:47] Speaker 2: Dare you too?
[5:49] Speaker 1: Dad? And the fat yucky poo pooh two dads.
[5:53] Speaker 2: The look of vic space when she said that she's.
[5:55] Speaker 1: Like two cents of dick and ball, like she's.
[5:58] Speaker 2: Being served up for fun, and two plates of steaming
[6:01] Speaker 2: ship at dinner.
[6:02] Speaker 1: Oh they're just two Dad.
[6:05] Speaker 2: I would rather stab myself with rusty fucking forks.
[6:08] Speaker 3: I see it now, I see it, now, see what
[6:10] Speaker 3: he's on for this were just sitting the Pooh ship.
[6:14] Speaker 1: We do talk about pool and come a lot.
[6:16] Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking of speaking, would come I try and start that? Actually,
[6:20] Speaker 2: speaking of come, Ash gave me a little toy recently.
[6:24] Speaker 2: I was at his house and he'd been holding onto
[6:26] Speaker 2: this one for a little while. In your pan, he
[6:29] Speaker 2: picked me up. Would you get me? Tell Vick?
[6:31] Speaker 3: Okay, it actually has to go back in time to
[6:33] Speaker 3: a birthday of mine a couple of years back, when
[6:35] Speaker 3: Matt got me a translucent fleshlight.
[6:38] Speaker 1: Thank you for that, by the way.
[6:39] Speaker 2: Off Amazon, thank you for that.
[6:41] Speaker 1: Paid gave me a blister. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Gave
[6:47] Speaker 1: me to blister. It gave me the c that's a
[6:53] Speaker 1: way a man of jug in the blister write down
[6:58] Speaker 1: her from a sat.
[7:01] Speaker 3: Back to the back to the story Japan. I went
[7:03] Speaker 3: to Japan, and theyre in Japan. They're dirty bastards. They're
[7:09] Speaker 3: into some filthy, dirty shit vick.
[7:11] Speaker 1: They've got one time use like jelly Jianas and I
[7:14] Speaker 1: bought Matt one for a present.
[7:16] Speaker 4: Oh well, you did stay at a sex hotel.
[7:19] Speaker 2: Ash is going through a very nostalgic phase right now.
[7:23] Speaker 1: It's dark it yeah, but this was from a supermarket.
[7:27] Speaker 1: They just got him in the supermarket.
[7:29] Speaker 2: I always when I was younger, I'd get quite nervous
[7:31] Speaker 2: having to buy condoms.
[7:33] Speaker 1: Because they're extra small.
[7:34] Speaker 2: Boom, there's nothing wrong with having a small penis happens?
[7:39] Speaker 2: How you know that?
[7:41] Speaker 1: Because I've seen yours.
[7:43] Speaker 2: Okay, let's like, let's not, let's not. Let's attack Matt
[7:46] Speaker 2: in this episode is the primary school joke. Can I
[7:48] Speaker 2: take it back? I used to get quite no know,
[7:50] Speaker 2: just it's it's like buying talet paper, hate buying tilet paper,
[7:53] Speaker 2: hate buying condoms. I used to always get freaked out
[7:55] Speaker 2: buying Playboy at the seven eleven. That's like, what in
[7:58] Speaker 2: the morning.
[8:01] Speaker 4: Why do you hate buying toilet paper?
[8:03] Speaker 1: Because people did you be shitting yeah, even shitting.
[8:06] Speaker 2: I saw a lady. I saw a lady walking home.
[8:09] Speaker 2: She shits with like a It was like a giant,
[8:12] Speaker 2: like sixty packet toilet paper. And I was like, whoa
[8:16] Speaker 2: you go girl.
[8:17] Speaker 1: And I used to always make April carries she ships.
[8:21] Speaker 1: She's a ship.
[8:21] Speaker 2: Don't get counting toilet paper.
[8:23] Speaker 5: Never once thought about that ever in my history of
[8:27] Speaker 5: buying toilet I used.
[8:28] Speaker 1: To it must be nice. The preconception is really true.
[8:31] Speaker 2: It must be nice to have no anxiety whatsoever.
[8:34] Speaker 4: Because women have to wipe both ways.
[8:36] Speaker 1: Anyway, what I thought, you drip dry? That't you shake?
[8:43] Speaker 4: That's how you get diseases?
[8:44] Speaker 3: Is it?
[8:45] Speaker 1: Well?
[8:45] Speaker 4: Thrush at least?
[8:47] Speaker 1: Okay, good to know educational this podcast, so you're fine.
[8:50] Speaker 2: You're fine toilet paper, no issues whatsoever.
[8:52] Speaker 5: Although now we have a subscription so it just gets
[8:55] Speaker 5: sent straight to our house.
[8:59] Speaker 1: Be paper.
[9:01] Speaker 3: I used to What I used to do is I
[9:02] Speaker 3: used to go hold this for us and she'd be like,
[9:05] Speaker 3: oh well, and then I would get a video behold it.
[9:07] Speaker 1: I'd be like, we're going to send some people that
[9:09] Speaker 1: you all the.
[9:09] Speaker 2: Time, but a sex toy, and he brought it back,
[9:12] Speaker 2: no issues whatsoever.
[9:13] Speaker 1: I had a friend just to get over the condom
[9:15] Speaker 1: thing just quickly. I used to have a friend that
[9:17] Speaker 1: would prop.
[9:18] Speaker 3: It up on something so that it would as it's
[9:20] Speaker 3: coming down the conveyor belt, it would stare at the cashier.
[9:23] Speaker 2: Like when you're like, hey, here you going and there's
[9:25] Speaker 2: like just a tub of lube, condom and a six
[9:30] Speaker 2: pack of bananas, and you're like, what do.
[9:35] Speaker 1: You up to?
[9:35] Speaker 2: Not much?
[9:36] Speaker 1: Not much tonight? What do you have to I'm just
[9:38] Speaker 1: after the ball shop? Now do you tell why am
[9:43] Speaker 1: I a gallup?
[9:46] Speaker 2: Anyway? Sex toy? I got it and it's not obvious
[9:48] Speaker 2: it's sex, so I should have brought it in and
[9:50] Speaker 2: I left it out accidentally, and the cleaners, the cleaner,
[9:56] Speaker 2: the girls, well, they probably played with because it Actually
[9:59] Speaker 2: the packaging on it is phenomenal.
[10:00] Speaker 1: It's quite not it's quite sleek.
[10:02] Speaker 2: Looking at it, you wouldn't know it's a sex toy.
[10:04] Speaker 1: If you sanded a penis down till it's smooth.
[10:06] Speaker 2: That's what I was, like, where's my sex toy? Nana
[10:09] Speaker 2: was like what And I was like, no, no, where
[10:12] Speaker 2: is it? You fucking moved it. It's like you're always
[10:14] Speaker 2: touching my things. Anyway, I found the sex toy, sex
[10:18] Speaker 2: toys safe. But the cleaner is like they moved it
[10:20] Speaker 2: from the kitchen table onto the bed.
[10:22] Speaker 1: We know what it is. It's pretty discreet. It's very discreet. Yeah,
[10:25] Speaker 1: so you haven't used it, are you saying? I'm pretty
[10:29] Speaker 1: sure Frank found my fleshlight. But that's the story for
[10:32] Speaker 1: another time.
[10:33] Speaker 2: Frank is April's dad, April is Ash's wife. Because we've
[10:36] Speaker 2: got all these New Life on cut listeners.
[10:38] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just so you know, we talk about sex
[10:40] Speaker 1: toys ex.
[10:40] Speaker 2: If you're if they're probably still here, probably not?
[10:44] Speaker 1: Okay, No, I see what I see what I see
[10:46] Speaker 1: what he was saying, two dads.
[10:48] Speaker 2: Ash, this is very premature. Go ahead, thank you, This
[10:55] Speaker 2: is very premature. But we have the samples of the hats.
[10:58] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we've got new hats.
[10:59] Speaker 3: Come.
[11:00] Speaker 1: I'm excited.
[11:01] Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got four designs that one of them's race themed.
[11:03] Speaker 1: I'm really excited about.
[11:04] Speaker 2: And I don't think we can go ahead with all
[11:06] Speaker 2: of the hats. Why, well, you want for your a
[11:10] Speaker 2: few designs, get more? I think we start with two
[11:12] Speaker 2: designs or.
[11:13] Speaker 1: How am I supposed to cull that down?
[11:15] Speaker 2: Well, that's that's what that's the issue.
[11:16] Speaker 1: We face three on public three.
[11:19] Speaker 2: It's got to be a public vote three. And imagine
[11:22] Speaker 2: how they react to the hat colors, Knowing how they
[11:24] Speaker 2: reacted to the studio paint colors.
[11:27] Speaker 1: They won't give a ship. I'm like, is it not
[11:29] Speaker 1: on a wall?
[11:31] Speaker 3: Do they have anything to do with a house or
[11:33] Speaker 3: doing any sort of makeup?
[11:35] Speaker 2: No, I'll be wearrying it when I renovate.
[11:37] Speaker 1: They'm like, wow, wow, well the red one option two?
[11:40] Speaker 1: When do we have Do we have an ETA or
[11:42] Speaker 1: a samples?
[11:44] Speaker 2: I don't. This is not an attack on the Chinese factory.
[11:47] Speaker 1: I thought they were locally sourced.
[11:49] Speaker 2: No, I made of mine said that. He's like, use
[11:52] Speaker 2: this factory. They're pretty They're pretty great. And it took
[11:55] Speaker 2: about six weeks to get these samples. Every every week
[11:58] Speaker 2: I was like any update on the samples and they
[11:59] Speaker 2: were like, we'll get it to you as quick as possible.
[12:02] Speaker 2: Like you've been saying that for a couple of weeks.
[12:04] Speaker 1: Now what it's just a hat.
[12:06] Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot that goes into a hat apparently.
[12:09] Speaker 2: But every week I was like, any update, this is
[12:12] Speaker 2: my sixth message and they're like, no problems, here you
[12:16] Speaker 2: are And I was like, that's not the right, hat,
[12:18] Speaker 2: I'm like one second. So it was a real process.
[12:23] Speaker 2: So to get them mass produced, who knows Christmas far.
[12:28] Speaker 1: Out it would be like those bloody toys all over again.
[12:32] Speaker 2: It's the same factory.
[12:33] Speaker 1: Why do we go back?
[12:34] Speaker 2: I'm just going to.
[12:37] Speaker 1: We don't have a We don't have a manufacturer ourselves. People.
[12:40] Speaker 2: If people are questioning, what are they doing?
[12:42] Speaker 1: How are they running this business? This is a good question.
[12:45] Speaker 2: Small team here, obviously, I'm Matt, this is Ash and
[12:48] Speaker 2: that's We have Vig, we have Ness who does a
[12:51] Speaker 2: video editing. We also have Luckie who helps with the YouTube.
[12:54] Speaker 1: But we don't have anyone that manufactures things. No, that's
[12:57] Speaker 1: the next, that's the next.
[12:58] Speaker 2: That's us. It's hard. It's hard out there dealing with factories.
[13:02] Speaker 1: We could have just made the hat to ourselves.
[13:04] Speaker 2: We literally could have been terrible.
[13:06] Speaker 1: No good news all round.
[13:08] Speaker 2: Stay stay tuned. Hat's are coming. Ash has some good
[13:11] Speaker 2: news and some bad news.
[13:12] Speaker 1: Oh great, the good news.
[13:14] Speaker 2: Of the bad news.
[13:15] Speaker 1: Can you do it the same mashm up together?
[13:16] Speaker 2: Okay? Good news Game two State of Origin, Melbourne, the
[13:20] Speaker 2: seventeenth of June.
[13:21] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, mcg bad news.
[13:23] Speaker 2: Oh no, only two tickets are up for grabs.
[13:26] Speaker 1: That's a big stadium for two people.
[13:31] Speaker 2: That is some of your best years.
[13:32] Speaker 1: Thank you. We have two tickets.
[13:34] Speaker 2: We have two tickets, two doting dads currently has two tickets. Vic, sorry,
[13:38] Speaker 2: you're out of the mix.
[13:39] Speaker 1: We'll just go together.
[13:41] Speaker 2: Well, I was going to take Marley.
[13:44] Speaker 1: Oh no, thanks, whoa no offense, that's it. Choose your
[13:49] Speaker 1: own flesh and blood over me. That's fine, Well she
[13:52] Speaker 1: supports queens Ane.
[13:53] Speaker 2: I don't want to go to another gamefully standing next
[13:55] Speaker 2: to a filthy New.
[13:57] Speaker 1: South Wales supporter just because we win again. Okay, So
[14:01] Speaker 1: if I go, it means I can take someone.
[14:02] Speaker 2: You can take whatever you want.
[14:03] Speaker 1: I'm take Oscar. Sure.
[14:05] Speaker 2: How do we figure out who gets these tickets?
[14:07] Speaker 1: About a quiz? A battle to the death or quiz
[14:11] Speaker 1: you'd have the length and the height over me.
[14:13] Speaker 2: You've got power.
[14:14] Speaker 1: Thank you, honestly, thank you. That's probably the naest thing
[14:19] Speaker 1: visit to me. You're welcome on bafful Man.
[14:22] Speaker 2: So we're going to do a quiz. Okay, We've got
[14:24] Speaker 2: three questions each. Whoever gets the most right at in
[14:28] Speaker 2: of the quiz will win the two tickets. Oh okay,
[14:31] Speaker 2: and we'll then go to Melbourne flights. Might I just
[14:34] Speaker 2: add flights accommodation are paid for. Shout out to the NRL,
[14:38] Speaker 2: who'll put this on for us?
[14:39] Speaker 1: I want to win.
[14:40] Speaker 2: So it's the full spread. VIC is going to be
[14:42] Speaker 2: the adjudicator.
[14:43] Speaker 1: Do you know what?
[14:44] Speaker 3: Also, it's smack bang in the between Oscar's birthday and Marley's.
[14:48] Speaker 3: It is literally bang in the middle. It's two days
[14:51] Speaker 3: on either side.
[14:52] Speaker 2: Talk about being the best dad being like, surprise, wake up,
[14:55] Speaker 2: peck your bags. We're going to Melbourne's so much at stake? Okay,
[14:58] Speaker 2: so so much at steak. VIC will ask the questions. Vic,
[15:02] Speaker 2: I will let you decide who goes first.
[15:05] Speaker 4: Okay, as you.
[15:07] Speaker 2: Ready, yes, okay, let me just get warmed up.
[15:12] Speaker 1: That's not going to help you. Thank you, that's not
[15:15] Speaker 1: going to help you. I don't need that. I'm gonna
[15:17] Speaker 1: use my brain because we've got them down here. What exactly?
[15:22] Speaker 1: Carry on? Okay?
[15:23] Speaker 4: New South Wales first?
[15:24] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, Which New.
[15:26] Speaker 5: South Wales player holds the record for the most Blues
[15:29] Speaker 5: origin appearances?
[15:31] Speaker 1: Oh god, it's got to be someone vintage.
[15:35] Speaker 2: Got that brain taken over? Look at that while since
[15:38] Speaker 2: you have to use that big guy, it's got to
[15:40] Speaker 2: be Brad Fitler.
[15:42] Speaker 4: Correct, Bam cop that all right?
[15:45] Speaker 5: Which Queensland player is known as the King and captain
[15:49] Speaker 5: the Morons to multiple State of Origin series victories?
[15:52] Speaker 1: What about a layup?
[15:53] Speaker 2: Jesus, that's a hard question. Can you please repeat?
[15:59] Speaker 4: Oh gosh, which Queensland player Lewis?
[16:03] Speaker 2: Wally Lewis, Wally Lewis?
[16:06] Speaker 1: I even knew that?
[16:07] Speaker 4: Okay one?
[16:08] Speaker 1: All, okay?
[16:09] Speaker 4: New South Wales?
[16:10] Speaker 5: Which New South Wales player has scored a hat trick
[16:13] Speaker 5: in origin on two separate occasions.
[16:17] Speaker 1: Hat trick? I know it. I don't know it.
[16:22] Speaker 4: Turbot is that Tom Traboyvich.
[16:24] Speaker 1: Would be twenty nineteen, twenty twenty one.
[16:26] Speaker 2: Actually, on technicality, that's wrong because it's not not Turbot's
[16:30] Speaker 2: Tom Traboyvitch.
[16:31] Speaker 3: Okay, and correct, I'm going to guess it's twenty nineteen
[16:34] Speaker 3: and twenty twenty one.
[16:36] Speaker 1: Sure, can we? I will look that up after all right?
[16:41] Speaker 4: Queensland?
[16:42] Speaker 5: Which Queensland player holds the record for the most state
[16:45] Speaker 5: of origin appearances for the Morons?
[16:48] Speaker 1: I think I know this one, Okay?
[16:51] Speaker 2: Could it be Thurston?
[16:52] Speaker 1: Oh? That's actually that's a good that's a good. Guess.
[16:56] Speaker 3: You've got a couple that you build dynasties. So I'll
[16:59] Speaker 3: give you that.
[17:00] Speaker 2: Maybe Lockier Lockier would be up there?
[17:02] Speaker 1: What about what about the raging ball? He wouldn't remember?
[17:11] Speaker 2: How dare you? How do you attack a legend?
[17:14] Speaker 1: You're all brothers and sisters up there? Come on, carry on?
[17:17] Speaker 2: OKAYU? He would he play like four hundred and fifty
[17:20] Speaker 2: two games for Storm?
[17:23] Speaker 1: It was it that many? Isn't him?
[17:25] Speaker 2: It's up there. It's more than four hundred. He's played
[17:27] Speaker 2: up a foe undred games of NRL. So I think
[17:29] Speaker 2: I think I'm going to go with.
[17:32] Speaker 1: Vick. Can I lock in Cameron Smith?
[17:35] Speaker 4: Correct?
[17:37] Speaker 3: He was never injured? He was he like the last
[17:41] Speaker 3: ten years of his career or something. I'm pretty sure
[17:43] Speaker 3: he only ever did the strengths and conditioning training, never
[17:46] Speaker 3: actual contact training because he never had to, and then
[17:48] Speaker 3: he would make sixty tackles all we can't. I will
[17:50] Speaker 3: say he is a Queenslander, but he is honestly the
[17:54] Speaker 3: Goat's he's the ghost.
[17:56] Speaker 2: He's very he's very nice as well. Good friend of mine?
[17:58] Speaker 1: Is he at me too? I reckon?
[18:03] Speaker 4: I don't know a lot about n r L, but
[18:05] Speaker 4: I do know him.
[18:06] Speaker 2: His husband material yeah, yeah, he's accountant, so can I
[18:10] Speaker 2: just not to put more pressure on your shoulders. If
[18:12] Speaker 2: you get this wrong, then it's up to me to
[18:14] Speaker 2: win this.
[18:15] Speaker 1: I don't get questions wrong.
[18:16] Speaker 5: Them fighting words. Who has captain New South Wales in
[18:19] Speaker 5: the most origin matches.
[18:26] Speaker 1: Have to be Brad Fitler?
[18:27] Speaker 4: Correct? Get in three from three?
[18:32] Speaker 1: Thank me later, Oscar. Pressure's on.
[18:35] Speaker 4: We going Okay, last question.
[18:37] Speaker 5: If Matt wins this, we will go to a tiebreak around.
[18:41] Speaker 4: If Matt loses, Ash is the winner.
[18:43] Speaker 1: I'm nervous. You should be sweating. It's a hot in here,
[18:48] Speaker 1: all right. What do you going for me?
[18:50] Speaker 5: In what year did Queensland win the inaugural state of
[18:54] Speaker 5: origin match under the state of origin selection rules?
[18:59] Speaker 2: Oka?
[19:00] Speaker 1: Which selection rules? Fuck you Vico? Why would you?
[19:04] Speaker 2: Okay the state of origin?
[19:06] Speaker 1: What inaugural?
[19:08] Speaker 5: In what year did Queensland win the inaugural state of
[19:11] Speaker 5: origin match under the state of origin Selectionkay?
[19:14] Speaker 1: She gone a newsreader voice for this one? Okay, I
[19:18] Speaker 1: don't even know this one.
[19:20] Speaker 2: I'm going to go nineteen ninety three.
[19:28] Speaker 5: Yeah, after the winner it was nineteen eighty.
[19:33] Speaker 1: Just a ah, get ask her on the phone. Okay,
[19:38] Speaker 1: get her aster on the phone. Call the school.
[19:40] Speaker 2: Can we just acknowledge you stitched me up with a
[19:43] Speaker 2: very hard question on number three?
[19:44] Speaker 1: Fair is fair vic?
[19:45] Speaker 3: I think that's just a great line of questioning. I
[19:47] Speaker 3: have no problems with it from my end.
[19:49] Speaker 2: Okay, well Ash, congratulations you are going to game two.
[19:53] Speaker 2: Well done, thank you, well done.
[19:54] Speaker 1: Thanky he is.
[19:55] Speaker 2: He's the oracle. You know what he's like with Daisy.
[19:57] Speaker 2: I forgets nothing once it's in there. Yeah, he's like.
[20:01] Speaker 1: Dates my thing, just not the fruit. And you're like, oh.
[20:09] Speaker 2: Hey, but I can't make it. But to anyone who
[20:11] Speaker 2: will come, just answer the call, the cry, the Queensland
[20:15] Speaker 2: cry to support us in game two. You can of
[20:18] Speaker 2: course buy tickets. We'll put the details in the show notes,
[20:20] Speaker 2: but we want to make sure we get more queens
[20:22] Speaker 2: Landers in this South Wales at Game two in Melbourne.
[20:24] Speaker 3: What's historic that Melbourne support Queensland because of the Big Three.
[20:28] Speaker 3: But also it's just like it's like they sort of
[20:31] Speaker 3: came into the comp when you guys were dominating, so
[20:35] Speaker 3: of course they picked, let's pick the team that wins
[20:37] Speaker 3: all the time. I get born into the team that
[20:38] Speaker 3: loses all the time. But I will fly the flag
[20:42] Speaker 3: and Oscar will be there flying his flag if you
[20:44] Speaker 3: see a stop as Saturday.
[20:45] Speaker 1: Please and thanks to.
[20:47] Speaker 3: The NRL first sending me and giving me the best
[20:49] Speaker 3: birthday present for my son ever.
[20:52] Speaker 1: Speaking news, Vick, what do you got for us? Well,
[20:56] Speaker 1: that's great, thank you. We lost you there, I do.
[21:04] Speaker 2: I'm not telling but I'm.
[21:05] Speaker 1: Not telling you.
[21:08] Speaker 4: No, I do have a good one today.
[21:10] Speaker 5: And I'm curious to see if you guys use these
[21:13] Speaker 5: with your partners. So a new study has found that
[21:16] Speaker 5: pet names you have with your partner might actually be
[21:18] Speaker 5: good for your health. Researchers say hearing affectionate nicknames such
[21:22] Speaker 5: as baby and sweetheart triggers a rush of the feel
[21:26] Speaker 5: good chemicals oxytocin and dopamine. That chemical reaction can lower
[21:30] Speaker 5: stress hormones, slow your heart rate, and leave you feeling calmer, happier,
[21:34] Speaker 5: and more secure.
[21:35] Speaker 4: So even if you hate.
[21:37] Speaker 5: Them, ash pet names might be doing more than just
[21:40] Speaker 5: making new cringe.
[21:41] Speaker 1: You're a big pet.
[21:41] Speaker 3: Name guy, me, you will not. You and Laura call
[21:45] Speaker 3: each other baby all the time.
[21:46] Speaker 2: I don't attack my character like that.
[21:47] Speaker 3: No, I'm just saying it wasn't It was observation. Baby
[21:50] Speaker 3: comes out of you guys a lot. Babe, they baby.
[21:53] Speaker 5: Yeah right, they say baby every sentence. I reckon, sorry,
[21:58] Speaker 5: every greeting.
[21:59] Speaker 1: Now, that's an act. Mine was an observation.
[22:02] Speaker 4: But just reducing the oxytocin.
[22:06] Speaker 1: Is not a pet name. If it's like baby, you
[22:08] Speaker 1: guys do a lot.
[22:09] Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's not that's standard. That's not that's like,
[22:12] Speaker 2: there's nothing what do you okay? Well, April, whenever you
[22:15] Speaker 2: call April?
[22:16] Speaker 1: She was no problem with that. Baby is where I'm at? Baby?
[22:21] Speaker 1: Play on?
[22:22] Speaker 2: Hey baby?
[22:23] Speaker 1: Yeah like that? What did I do? Yeah?
[22:27] Speaker 5: I say babe, babe. It would be very out of
[22:30] Speaker 5: character for Dan. All right, just say baby. I think
[22:33] Speaker 5: I've once called him sweetheart and he's like, that's weird.
[22:36] Speaker 2: That's weird.
[22:36] Speaker 1: Yeah, hone, you called me the other day.
[22:39] Speaker 4: Sometimes it just comes out. Sorry.
[22:41] Speaker 2: I like it when a woman calls me Han like
[22:43] Speaker 2: an older woman my feet. Sorry, not like that wasn't
[22:49] Speaker 2: I didn't mean to say that to you. Sorry, no,
[22:53] Speaker 2: but of an old woman at the cave is like
[22:55] Speaker 2: here you go, Han, I'm like, oh, you know what
[22:57] Speaker 2: I mean.
[22:58] Speaker 1: What I don't like is the word hubby. Why I
[23:02] Speaker 1: was angry?
[23:02] Speaker 2: Why? What's wrong with her?
[23:03] Speaker 3: I just don't like it. It's icky to me, and
[23:06] Speaker 3: that's just a personal preference. Like April, doesn't dare call
[23:09] Speaker 3: me that because I'm like, no, I'll leave you.
[23:14] Speaker 1: We do.
[23:14] Speaker 3: The only pet names that we have for each other
[23:17] Speaker 3: is when April does something very frank, like I just
[23:19] Speaker 3: call a little Frankie.
[23:21] Speaker 2: Is a little frank that is that is not dropping
[23:25] Speaker 2: oxytocin at all? That?
[23:27] Speaker 1: Yeah, no, because she knows.
[23:29] Speaker 3: She laughs, Like the other day she's like, would you
[23:30] Speaker 3: like a tea? I'm like, okay, Frankie, because Frankie loves tea.
[23:34] Speaker 3: Frank loves tea.
[23:35] Speaker 1: Is or slow and steady. But baby, you're a big
[23:41] Speaker 1: You're big on baby I've known, says Laura.
[23:43] Speaker 2: If I call her my soulmate for sets right after
[23:46] Speaker 2: she loves that?
[23:47] Speaker 1: Really, mate?
[23:49] Speaker 4: Why you did it in the Mother's Day letter?
[23:51] Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's doing absolutely you know that. Any other
[23:57] Speaker 2: then with the kids, I call the kids bubba, which
[23:59] Speaker 2: you know yours? Like what you saying that you're freak?
[24:01] Speaker 1: Yeah. The other day I've got to tell you and.
[24:03] Speaker 2: He was like a fucking loser.
[24:05] Speaker 3: The other day you were on the phone together and
[24:07] Speaker 3: you're like, hey, I've got you could I could tell
[24:09] Speaker 3: that the girls were getting more Auntie and Anty. You're like,
[24:11] Speaker 3: we're going to get the phone. I understand, but he
[24:13] Speaker 3: didn't hang up. I had to hang up after listening
[24:16] Speaker 3: in intently with eight real long round speaker as we.
[24:18] Speaker 1: Laughed and laughed and laughed. Because Matt was like, it's
[24:21] Speaker 1: a popper.
[24:23] Speaker 3: I was like, I can't handle this and hang up
[24:24] Speaker 3: because I'm not baby talk guy either.
[24:27] Speaker 2: Actually, can I pull you up on something?
[24:29] Speaker 1: Did I?
[24:30] Speaker 5: Oh?
[24:30] Speaker 1: Yes?
[24:31] Speaker 4: Please?
[24:31] Speaker 1: Yes, I hear it.
[24:33] Speaker 2: You forget ash. You forget that as a dad to
[24:39] Speaker 2: a young boy and a young girl actually changes your
[24:42] Speaker 2: tone quite significantly. It does.
[24:44] Speaker 3: You said that, But I like, I only know this
[24:47] Speaker 3: because you pointed out so just so you know, I
[24:49] Speaker 3: wasn't unaware of this until you guys pointed it out.
[24:54] Speaker 4: It's so obvious and I love it.
[24:57] Speaker 5: So you've posted two videos this week of the name.
[25:00] Speaker 4: Could change their names.
[25:02] Speaker 5: The tone and demeanor of the way you talk to
[25:05] Speaker 5: each of your children, it's very different.
[25:07] Speaker 2: Let's have a little listen to how us talk to Oscar.
[25:09] Speaker 3: If we had to change your name to someone rang
[25:13] Speaker 3: me and said, hey, we have to change your name,
[25:16] Speaker 3: what name would you pick?
[25:22] Speaker 1: Well, that's just funny.
[25:24] Speaker 2: That's funny, how you go on, you gotta change your name.
[25:28] Speaker 2: You're going to be fame. And then they talked to Macy.
[25:34] Speaker 1: If we had to change what would you want us
[25:38] Speaker 1: to change your name to.
[25:41] Speaker 4: It's under the table.
[25:43] Speaker 1: Okay, you thought about it. We had to call it
[25:57] Speaker 1: Tracy all weekend too. By the way it happened, Hey,
[26:00] Speaker 1: flying come in, come and see your sister trait twicey.
[26:03] Speaker 2: So when I talk to my girls the same as
[26:07] Speaker 2: how you talk to Tracy.
[26:08] Speaker 1: I just it's just the bubba. The bubba gets me
[26:11] Speaker 1: because we've brought it up before.
[26:12] Speaker 3: And then when you accidentally didn't hang up, I was like,
[26:14] Speaker 3: this is perfect.
[26:18] Speaker 2: I do not sound like that.
[26:19] Speaker 5: You do.
[26:19] Speaker 2: What do you call your kids?
[26:21] Speaker 3: I call them, I call them may, I call them,
[26:25] Speaker 3: I call MACI pudd because it's pudding.
[26:30] Speaker 1: An Oscar, I'm like big fellas, like because of Bluie,
[26:37] Speaker 1: big Fellow is a good one around the house.
[26:38] Speaker 3: If if anytime I'm doing anything whatsoevercars like, here comes
[26:42] Speaker 3: big Feller.
[26:43] Speaker 2: Actually I started killing sorry, wow, I started killing k
[26:49] Speaker 2: I started calling my girls my daughters, bro.
[26:54] Speaker 1: And they like that. They love that. Oscar loves that.
[26:57] Speaker 4: I don't know bro doing it with Louie because they
[26:59] Speaker 4: pick it up a school.
[27:00] Speaker 2: Still copying me.
[27:01] Speaker 3: And then do you know what's the worst is when
[27:04] Speaker 3: you're trying to be a parent and they hit you
[27:07] Speaker 3: with the bro back and you're like, fucking damn it.
[27:10] Speaker 1: You know. I'll be like, I'll be like, mate, can
[27:12] Speaker 1: you please pick up?
[27:13] Speaker 3: He's like all right, Bro, I'm like, damn, I fucking
[27:15] Speaker 3: created a monster?
[27:16] Speaker 2: Does LOUI like it?
[27:17] Speaker 4: If I say bro?
[27:18] Speaker 1: Yeah?
[27:18] Speaker 2: I love it?
[27:19] Speaker 1: Yes?
[27:20] Speaker 3: What about brat oscar bro? He hates when I call
[27:23] Speaker 3: him Lad? I'm like, coming here, Lad. He's not not
[27:24] Speaker 3: a lad brah like anywhere. But no pet names for
[27:29] Speaker 3: these kids.
[27:30] Speaker 2: Don't know how good they've got it, bloody hell forever,
[27:34] Speaker 2: trying to forever, trying to give them like.
[27:37] Speaker 1: Keeping them happy, keep the dialogue, keeper mixing it.
[27:40] Speaker 3: Up, keeping them alive, keeping them happy and making it fun.
[27:43] Speaker 1: All the time.
[27:44] Speaker 2: In the mornings, I'm like, what can I call Marley?
[27:46] Speaker 2: What hasn't she.
[27:50] Speaker 1: Well that's what I used to get dickhead, something like that.
[27:54] Speaker 5: Well, we called Lily Lily boo boo for a while there,
[27:56] Speaker 5: but she has caushed that.
[27:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, Macy was me move. My friend's dad used to
[28:03] Speaker 1: call me shit for brains. That was my nickname.
[28:06] Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
[28:07] Speaker 3: And then when he passed away, sadly, he passed away
[28:10] Speaker 3: from cancer and I had to speak at his funeral.
[28:12] Speaker 2: You speak at a lot of funeral I'm.
[28:13] Speaker 1: Good at it.
[28:16] Speaker 3: My opening line was didn't know what mach no, but
[28:18] Speaker 3: I'm here, I'll talk. My opening line was Pat used
[28:23] Speaker 3: to call me shit for brains, and everyone knew immediately
[28:26] Speaker 3: just the sort of sense of humor he had.
[28:27] Speaker 1: That's just so. I quite like being called ship for brains.
[28:30] Speaker 4: So okay, as long as it wasn't scarring, No, it's
[28:32] Speaker 4: not going but.
[28:34] Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I don't. I'm trying to think. April
[28:37] Speaker 1: and I've been together for what fifteen years? Sixteen years?
[28:40] Speaker 1: Come on, sixteen years? I think. I don't think we've
[28:42] Speaker 1: ever had a pet name like a like one that's
[28:44] Speaker 1: stuck that.
[28:45] Speaker 3: Other than babe, and I would say babe is and
[28:49] Speaker 3: probably baby for you guys is in passing, you know,
[28:52] Speaker 3: you would just say.
[28:53] Speaker 1: It like it just rolls off with what do you
[28:54] Speaker 1: call it in the bedroom, mummy the moment chase?
[29:01] Speaker 5: Actually, can I just say though? If Dan doesn't call
[29:04] Speaker 5: me babe and he calls me vic or Victoria.
[29:07] Speaker 4: That is more jarring for me.
[29:10] Speaker 5: Than if he's like, hey, babe, because if he's saying Victoria,
[29:14] Speaker 5: it's like am either not paying attention or I'm in trouble.
[29:16] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it.
[29:18] Speaker 4: It has a reverse effect as well.
[29:21] Speaker 1: She uses my full names.
[29:22] Speaker 4: Distressful moment on the back of that.
[29:24] Speaker 1: If you could pick a pet name that you would
[29:27] Speaker 1: like to be called, what would it be? Just quickly?
[29:29] Speaker 1: Nothing too complex?
[29:30] Speaker 2: Hunky booboo like it schnooks.
[29:33] Speaker 1: I was husband m husband face for a while on
[29:36] Speaker 1: their phone. Otherwise otherwise I like muffin nothing I want to.
[29:42] Speaker 3: Give you.
[29:44] Speaker 4: Would be I don't know what from Bluey.
[29:47] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[29:48] Speaker 4: Anyway, Actually, Dan's in my phone is Dan the Man.
[29:51] Speaker 1: He's in my phone as Dan the Man too. That
[29:53] Speaker 1: was kind of his Dan's Dan Vick's man.
[29:57] Speaker 3: Speaking of pet names, you went away without any kids,
[30:00] Speaker 3: I guarantee you the pet names were flowing all weekend.
[30:04] Speaker 2: What segue?
[30:09] Speaker 1: That's it? I'm off, my parking's out, going to.
[30:11] Speaker 2: Go very good. Yeah. I think I think everyone has
[30:14] Speaker 2: heard enough about the fact that I was away with
[30:16] Speaker 2: no kids on the weekend. Even when I dropped off
[30:18] Speaker 2: the kids at gymnastics. Someone was like, how's your weekend?
[30:20] Speaker 2: How's your kid free weekend? I was like, how do
[30:22] Speaker 2: you know? He's like, you fucking want stop talking about it.
[30:24] Speaker 1: We'll go ahead and tell us again.
[30:25] Speaker 2: So I had no kids on the weekend. We left
[30:28] Speaker 2: on Friday. We went down south to the other dollar
[30:32] Speaker 2: house and the manner and thank you. But it was
[30:37] Speaker 2: a bit of a stressful morning because we wanted to
[30:39] Speaker 2: drop the kids off, get straight down there, you know,
[30:41] Speaker 2: wanted to maximize every second that we had school drop
[30:45] Speaker 2: off and continue and then we'll like Laura was like,
[30:47] Speaker 2: I'm going to just finish packing, so you just drop
[30:49] Speaker 2: them off. The school's like splitting distance down the road.
[30:52] Speaker 2: I'll knit back home, pick up Laura.
[30:55] Speaker 1: We'll go.
[30:55] Speaker 2: We'll get out of there. But it was a bit
[30:57] Speaker 2: of a tricky morning. Everything was a bit slow, the
[31:00] Speaker 2: bags weren't packed, trying to get the kids out of
[31:02] Speaker 2: the door. Also, we stupidly signed the kids up for
[31:05] Speaker 2: Spanish lessons at school. They do Spanish in the morning.
[31:09] Speaker 2: What what because there's no language at school. And then
[31:13] Speaker 2: there's a couple of parents who advocated for Spanish. It's
[31:15] Speaker 2: like a couple of a few Spanish parents, and then
[31:18] Speaker 2: they were like, we need X amount of kids to
[31:20] Speaker 2: sign up to do it on the Friday morning before
[31:22] Speaker 2: school starts, and.
[31:23] Speaker 1: So I was like, you know what, fucking man of
[31:26] Speaker 1: the people didn't even do it for him.
[31:27] Speaker 2: Well then and the kids were like, kids were like yeah,
[31:30] Speaker 2: We're like, they're down for that Spanish and then un
[31:34] Speaker 2: nanny Spanish Spanish. So I was like, should we speak
[31:38] Speaker 2: in Spanish? And then when the kids are old enough
[31:41] Speaker 2: and they're fluent in Spanish, they were like, Dad, thank.
[31:42] Speaker 1: You, yes, thank you. It'd be funny.
[31:45] Speaker 3: It was like they do all this Spanish and then
[31:47] Speaker 3: the nanny's like, but don't speak Portuguese.
[31:51] Speaker 1: I'm French. Wow, Okay, are they enjoying it?
[31:55] Speaker 2: Before we go anything, Well, we always forget because it's
[32:00] Speaker 2: because that's you meant to get to school at eight
[32:05] Speaker 2: o'clock and it's always like eight fifteen, and I'm like
[32:08] Speaker 2: just feeling like I'm freaking. I'm like, get the fucking car,
[32:12] Speaker 2: and the kids like what is it. I'm like, it's Spanish. Oh,
[32:16] Speaker 2: I'm always like, for fox sake, So we've got about Spanish.
[32:19] Speaker 2: Trying to get the kids out the door. The kids
[32:20] Speaker 2: were in the car they had this slothy toy which
[32:23] Speaker 2: she's got like long arms on legs, and they kept
[32:26] Speaker 2: like Lola was like whipping it into me. So I
[32:29] Speaker 2: was like whipping me as I'm trying to drive the
[32:30] Speaker 2: kids to school.
[32:31] Speaker 1: That's a hazard and that's dangerous.
[32:33] Speaker 2: Very degous. And I was like hey, multiple times, I
[32:36] Speaker 2: was like, just can you stop doing that? Please? And
[32:39] Speaker 2: I try and grab it and she'd like hide it,
[32:41] Speaker 2: and I was like, Lola, do not know more? Like
[32:44] Speaker 2: that's enough is enough? Did it again? And I fucking
[32:48] Speaker 2: hate that I did this, but I grabbed it and
[32:51] Speaker 2: I said, if you do that one more fucking time,
[32:53] Speaker 2: I'm going to throw this out the window. I mean,
[32:55] Speaker 2: I just I honestly, I really like I hate when
[32:59] Speaker 2: I get so angry that I lose my call. You know,
[33:03] Speaker 2: you get to a point you like blurt out in
[33:05] Speaker 2: frustration something and the kids like they obviously don't enjoy
[33:08] Speaker 2: it at all.
[33:08] Speaker 1: And just ignore me. Damn it. It's the best.
[33:12] Speaker 2: Actually, Lola was kind of like, shut up, you loser.
[33:14] Speaker 1: Yeah. I was just like, chill up.
[33:16] Speaker 2: And I pulled over and I was like, I just
[33:19] Speaker 2: I was the disrespect. I was like, how many times
[33:22] Speaker 2: do I need to fucking ask like.
[33:25] Speaker 1: One more time than you did, like seriously every time.
[33:28] Speaker 2: It's so annoying. And I was like, so annoyed at them,
[33:32] Speaker 2: and then Lola's got a bit of attitude, Marley's a
[33:34] Speaker 2: bit upset. We're late for Spanish now we've just missed
[33:37] Speaker 2: the whole class. And so the last moment of us
[33:40] Speaker 2: together for that weekend was me getting pissed off. And
[33:43] Speaker 2: then I was like walking them into school being like
[33:45] Speaker 2: I love you guys.
[33:46] Speaker 1: Yeah, they're probably talking shit behind your back in Spanish.
[33:51] Speaker 2: But I drove back.
[33:52] Speaker 1: Home and I was like, like, it sucks.
[33:55] Speaker 2: It sucks. I was because also I kind of said
[33:58] Speaker 2: to the girls that hey, we're going on way, but
[34:01] Speaker 2: I don't know if they how much did they really
[34:03] Speaker 2: take in?
[34:03] Speaker 1: Not a lot obviously, Yeah it's like I know what
[34:06] Speaker 1: you mean.
[34:06] Speaker 3: But it's like they're probably walking to school and completely
[34:08] Speaker 3: forgotten that interaction and.
[34:10] Speaker 2: By the afternoon it's long gone. But I had to.
[34:12] Speaker 2: I was like, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't I shouldn't
[34:15] Speaker 2: have sworn just then. I shouldn't have gotten angry. I
[34:17] Speaker 2: was liked, but you kept whipping me.
[34:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, at some point, you're leting us stick up for yourself.
[34:23] Speaker 1: At what point are you just like getting whipped by
[34:26] Speaker 1: your employer?
[34:26] Speaker 3: Pretty much, it's like your kids are just like and
[34:29] Speaker 3: you can't say anything back and Laura, I'll throw things
[34:33] Speaker 3: out the wind.
[34:33] Speaker 1: I'll do it, and I've done it.
[34:35] Speaker 2: Laura was like, how is the drop off?
[34:37] Speaker 1: And I was like, I got angry and she was.
[34:39] Speaker 2: Like, why it's the drop off for the weekend. You're
[34:42] Speaker 2: not gonna see them again until Sunday night.
[34:44] Speaker 1: Weren't there? Yeah?
[34:45] Speaker 2: I was like, I was getting whipped.
[34:48] Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with it.
[34:49] Speaker 2: They were whipping me, Laura.
[34:50] Speaker 1: What am I meant to do?
[34:51] Speaker 3: And it's just heart Yeah, I know what you mean
[34:52] Speaker 3: by leaving it on this hour. No, but like they're
[34:54] Speaker 3: forgetting and also.
[34:55] Speaker 1: Don't whip me and we won't be here.
[34:57] Speaker 2: So annoying. It's so annoying. And then the fucking dry
[35:00] Speaker 2: having down dollar dollar. I was just like the guilt
[35:02] Speaker 2: the whole time.
[35:03] Speaker 1: I was like, is that why you called me for
[35:05] Speaker 1: a per cup? Did I call you? You called me
[35:07] Speaker 1: for a per cup? Yeah?
[35:08] Speaker 2: I think it was. That was a butt dial?
[35:11] Speaker 1: Was it here going on? Baby baby?
[35:16] Speaker 2: But it was it was lovely Laura and I we've
[35:20] Speaker 2: been together for a long time. We've had Marley for
[35:22] Speaker 2: my seven years.
[35:23] Speaker 1: Now. I'll tell you what a long time is. Yeah,
[35:27] Speaker 1: is your first time? Is your first trip or like
[35:29] Speaker 1: in like general without them.
[35:33] Speaker 2: Years since, we've had two nights on taste. It's pretty good.
[35:36] Speaker 1: It was fucking so good.
[35:38] Speaker 2: Can't tell you what's easier with no kids? No kids,
[35:41] Speaker 2: everything everything is easy. We got there, We unpacked the
[35:47] Speaker 2: car in like two seconds. We like sat down, like
[35:51] Speaker 2: just enjoyed each.
[35:51] Speaker 1: Other's company and you like each other again by the
[35:54] Speaker 1: end of it. Can I give you an analogy? Yeah?
[35:57] Speaker 2: Okay. I feel like kids are on this.
[36:01] Speaker 1: Plane, which is the family, right, Okay?
[36:06] Speaker 2: Okay, you with me?
[36:07] Speaker 1: Is this a nine to eleven joke? No?
[36:09] Speaker 2: Okay, carry on love, that's where your mine goes.
[36:12] Speaker 1: That was twenty years ago, guys.
[36:13] Speaker 2: I think kids are on this plane, right, which is
[36:16] Speaker 2: being piloted by mom and dad. Okay, And the relationship
[36:19] Speaker 2: is the engine that keeps this plane flying.
[36:20] Speaker 1: You lost me, but yeah, you go, and it's so easy.
[36:24] Speaker 2: I think with the relationship with kids that so much
[36:27] Speaker 2: of the communication between you and your partner is literally
[36:30] Speaker 2: just around family logistics. Like Laura and I We obviously
[36:36] Speaker 2: have we have little moments, but so much of our
[36:38] Speaker 2: chat together is like, who's picking up the kids and
[36:40] Speaker 2: you're getting them from gymnastics? What are we having for dinner?
[36:43] Speaker 2: We've got a birthday party on the weekend. You've got
[36:44] Speaker 2: to get a present. Also, we need to get the
[36:46] Speaker 2: car service. The insurance is d It's just the logistics
[36:49] Speaker 2: of family life is ninety percent of what we.
[36:51] Speaker 1: Talk about is adminchat. That's it. That's it, and that's
[36:54] Speaker 1: essentially a round table meeting, right, And.
[36:58] Speaker 2: Yes it's important, but if that is all your relationship
[37:01] Speaker 2: is based on, it's not a super healthy relationship for
[37:04] Speaker 2: me anyway. For me and Laura. You like coworkers exactly,
[37:07] Speaker 2: and so to have time away where you don't have
[37:11] Speaker 2: to talk about all the admin's side and it's just
[37:13] Speaker 2: about the two of you, We get to enjoy each
[37:15] Speaker 2: other's company.
[37:17] Speaker 1: Ah, so much better.
[37:19] Speaker 2: The wind in our sails a boat.
[37:21] Speaker 1: It's a slippery it's a slippery slope. Because then you're like,
[37:24] Speaker 1: let's go away without these kids again.
[37:25] Speaker 2: I was like, let's never take the kids anyway.
[37:27] Speaker 1: Have you seen the movie This is forty?
[37:30] Speaker 3: They go away on a date like stay one night, away,
[37:33] Speaker 3: and they before going away, it's just chaotic. They're fighting,
[37:37] Speaker 3: they're at each other, they hate each other essentially. Then
[37:40] Speaker 3: they go away for this one night and they obviously
[37:44] Speaker 3: there's nothing with no admin there. They're just enjoying each
[37:47] Speaker 3: other's company and they're loving each other. And they pull
[37:49] Speaker 3: in the driveway and the door opens and the kids
[37:51] Speaker 3: are like one of them's like got a shaved head
[37:53] Speaker 3: or something like that. Fuck, and it just starts again.
[37:56] Speaker 2: Laura was like, when should we call the kids? And
[37:59] Speaker 2: I was like, also, we didn't tell the kids we
[38:00] Speaker 2: were going to Alla Dalla because they would have wanted
[38:02] Speaker 2: to come. We said we're going to the city. So
[38:04] Speaker 2: we were like, if we call them, we need to
[38:05] Speaker 2: be like in the car, so I don't know where
[38:07] Speaker 2: we are. Yeah, but I was like, okay, what we'll
[38:09] Speaker 2: call the kids. Okay on Saturday afternoon, I was like,
[38:11] Speaker 2: we'll get the kids are call.
[38:12] Speaker 1: I'll just like take a green screen with you, the news,
[38:17] Speaker 1: there's a harbor bridge behind you.
[38:19] Speaker 2: And shout out to our nanny because she had all
[38:21] Speaker 2: the three kids and she's unbelievably good. But Buster had
[38:26] Speaker 2: shut in the house. He's getting worse, getting worse, Poppy
[38:29] Speaker 2: was sick, so she would called us and she'd just
[38:31] Speaker 2: been vomited all over all over the carpet in her
[38:34] Speaker 2: room and we were like, oh, and also Raspberry the cat.
[38:40] Speaker 1: I forgot about that cat.
[38:41] Speaker 2: We have a cat as well. She pissed and Lola's
[38:44] Speaker 2: bed a cat pissed sting, never done that. She was like,
[38:49] Speaker 2: has the cat? Does she pissing Lola's bed? We're like what.
[38:52] Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, because I went into Lola's room and
[38:54] Speaker 2: she's just pissed all through her blanket. So our poor
[38:57] Speaker 2: nanny's just like up against it. And we're like, oh,
[39:00] Speaker 2: do you want us to come home early? And she's
[39:02] Speaker 2: like no, no, no, I've got it. We're like, thank god.
[39:04] Speaker 1: So she was none of there too.
[39:06] Speaker 2: Now were very sick. She she's got the sniffles as well.
[39:09] Speaker 1: It's going around.
[39:10] Speaker 5: Nothing brings you back to reality faster than a sick
[39:14] Speaker 5: kid or a pet.
[39:17] Speaker 2: That's don't ask me, asked the nanny.
[39:20] Speaker 1: Yeah, just like shaken. We came home.
[39:24] Speaker 2: She was like here, getting the hell out of here.
[39:28] Speaker 2: But but let me just tell you, it's the first
[39:30] Speaker 2: time I've had pre dinner sex in a very long time.
[39:33] Speaker 1: Pre dinner sex. Yeah, it's up there. That's great.
[39:37] Speaker 4: It's nothing like it's better than post because post.
[39:40] Speaker 2: You're tired and full, you're just bumping bellies, and in
[39:44] Speaker 2: this post, yeah, sex is like running, right, No one
[39:47] Speaker 2: wants to run on a full tummy. Yeah. And when
[39:51] Speaker 2: I've had that apple grumble.
[39:54] Speaker 1: Well, sex is like araplines, the engine room is room.
[40:00] Speaker 2: I had. The plane analogy made a lot of sense.
[40:02] Speaker 1: Honestly, I think you just left the plane analogy.
[40:05] Speaker 2: Like I said it to Laura and she was like,
[40:07] Speaker 2: that's really clever, and I was like, she's trying to sabotage.
[40:11] Speaker 1: Hey, baby, that's really good. Thanks Papa.
[40:14] Speaker 2: So that was the weekend and I think you're good.
[40:17] Speaker 2: Weather too, will be a great weather. And it's one
[40:19] Speaker 2: of those things where you're like, why do we wait
[40:21] Speaker 2: so long for this?
[40:23] Speaker 1: April and I doing it every two days? Like we're
[40:26] Speaker 1: like not sex, what what? No? Like we're like looking
[40:31] Speaker 1: at holidays.
[40:32] Speaker 4: With no kids I am in need of that's so bad.
[40:37] Speaker 1: Sorry, So let's petition to get Vica free holiday.
[40:43] Speaker 5: Kids.
[40:43] Speaker 4: Yeah that's the problem.
[40:45] Speaker 3: Okay, Well you guys take oh no, no way, I'll
[40:49] Speaker 3: pay for the holiday.
[40:50] Speaker 1: Actually I'm not taking it. I'll pay for the holiday.
[40:52] Speaker 1: You have the Lily. Lily Lily is Vic's daughter who
[41:00] Speaker 1: we try to win over the other day. I think
[41:02] Speaker 1: I won with a Scotch finger.
[41:03] Speaker 5: I think I got her fierce competition, because Lily is
[41:06] Speaker 5: hard to impress and these two were competing for her love.
[41:09] Speaker 2: I look over and ashes feeding her.
[41:12] Speaker 1: She went in real heart.
[41:13] Speaker 3: I kept my distance, trying to, you know, keep it keen.
[41:18] Speaker 3: And then when she was alone this sounds terrible, and
[41:21] Speaker 3: she was sitting there nicely. I saw a biscuit in
[41:25] Speaker 3: the at Channel nine and I was like, you know,
[41:27] Speaker 3: who'd love this? And I looked at Lily and I
[41:29] Speaker 3: was like pointed like and she was like from that point.
[41:34] Speaker 2: She was like I was trying to be a fucking
[41:35] Speaker 2: kangarrill and she was like, fucking shut up.
[41:37] Speaker 1: And then I got her a bag of popcorn, just
[41:40] Speaker 1: played these strings.
[41:41] Speaker 4: Yeah, it is definitely the way to her heart.
[41:45] Speaker 3: Speaking about being away, the other week, we went to
[41:48] Speaker 3: the State of Origin and I stayed at my grandmother's
[41:50] Speaker 3: house because she lives not far from there and I
[41:52] Speaker 3: don't get to see her very often.
[41:54] Speaker 1: Again. Olive, that's right, Yeah, I got a name, Olive Oil. Tattoo.
[42:00] Speaker 1: So I went stay out there for one night, one
[42:01] Speaker 1: night only, which was absolutely painful because my dad was
[42:05] Speaker 1: out there too.
[42:05] Speaker 2: And what was the first question that he asked?
[42:07] Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, okay.
[42:09] Speaker 3: Both my dad and my Nan have severe undiagnosed ADHD.
[42:14] Speaker 1: It's unbelievable that anything gets done full far from the tree.
[42:18] Speaker 3: If you spend some time with these two people, you
[42:21] Speaker 3: know exactly where this came from, You'll be like, oh, okay,
[42:24] Speaker 3: all right, you.
[42:26] Speaker 2: And your dad are identical thrown nan in Oh God,
[42:31] Speaker 2: and she's wor and she's also so ninety in January.
[42:35] Speaker 2: That's incredible.
[42:36] Speaker 1: But she's also such a manipulator.
[42:38] Speaker 3: She's so quick witted, like she'll purposely mispronounce things so
[42:42] Speaker 3: that you'll pick up on it, especially I'll pick up
[42:44] Speaker 3: like she used to say digital instead of digital, but
[42:47] Speaker 3: then I picked up or Dad picked up on it once,
[42:49] Speaker 3: so she then she'll just toss it in there. Or
[42:51] Speaker 3: she'll be like she can she can pronounce things like pollymyalja,
[42:55] Speaker 3: which is some disease she's got on her fingers, but
[42:58] Speaker 3: she can't pronounce like uber. She calls it the uber
[43:02] Speaker 3: or the the COVID was the carver anyway that she's
[43:05] Speaker 3: a silly she is very funny, olive, She's very funny. Anyway,
[43:09] Speaker 3: So I walk in and the first thing not even
[43:11] Speaker 3: a hello, it's a.
[43:14] Speaker 1: Can you freeze salmon? And I was like, what.
[43:18] Speaker 2: This is your dad? Asking?
[43:19] Speaker 1: That was dad? And then Nan was like, of course
[43:21] Speaker 1: you can. Yeah.
[43:22] Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know, that's I guess, so like, what, like,
[43:25] Speaker 3: hello do you guys do? And then they just went
[43:27] Speaker 3: on about a salmon rant for the next half hour.
[43:29] Speaker 3: But anyway, that's not the story. The story is I
[43:31] Speaker 3: stayed out one night. It was a Wednesday night, Thursday night.
[43:34] Speaker 3: I'm back at home. I'm sitting in the loundroom. We
[43:36] Speaker 3: have two bathrooms. We have the on suite okay, and
[43:39] Speaker 3: we have the spare bathroom, which is mainly what the
[43:42] Speaker 3: kids used to shower. You've got three houses. How many
[43:47] Speaker 3: bathrooms you got all together?
[43:48] Speaker 1: On a second? Well, well, I have two, I own
[43:51] Speaker 1: two bathrooms. How many bathrooms you own?
[43:52] Speaker 5: That?
[43:53] Speaker 1: Three? Three bathrooms in one house. Let's not get okay,
[43:57] Speaker 1: let's not get down. It's got like ten bathrooms.
[44:00] Speaker 3: Which one which master barth Anyway, I was in the
[44:03] Speaker 3: lounder room and I could hear the shower going, and
[44:06] Speaker 3: my kids shower.
[44:07] Speaker 1: You could still bath or you're converting still bathing, still bathing.
[44:10] Speaker 3: Yeah, so mine shower and it's like, okay, Oscar in
[44:13] Speaker 3: the shower, Oscar out, Mason in the shower, Oscar and
[44:15] Speaker 3: there's an adult in there at all times.
[44:18] Speaker 1: Okay, they don't shower together, no, nah nah.
[44:22] Speaker 2: Sometimes I fuck around too much. I turn around for
[44:24] Speaker 2: a second and then half the bath is on the
[44:26] Speaker 2: floor and I'm like, fucking our guys again. Hate throwing
[44:29] Speaker 2: in front of the kids, Like fuck yeah guys.
[44:34] Speaker 1: Anyway, So I well, the only time they shower together
[44:36] Speaker 1: is when we do like a movie night. We don't
[44:38] Speaker 1: tell the kids.
[44:38] Speaker 3: They go and shower while set up the movie night,
[44:40] Speaker 3: and they come out in this popcorn and stuff like that. Anyway,
[44:45] Speaker 3: ash in the popcorn. There's all April's idea. I'm just
[44:47] Speaker 3: a mule, Okay. I just get told what to do
[44:50] Speaker 3: pretty much.
[44:51] Speaker 2: Just quickly. How does this relate to all of your
[44:54] Speaker 2: grandma what this story? It's not.
[44:57] Speaker 1: It doesn't, But I'm just saying.
[45:00] Speaker 2: Tell me that I get bogged down in the detail.
[45:03] Speaker 3: I missed, okay, okay, I missed a vital part of
[45:05] Speaker 3: information because I was at NaN's house.
[45:07] Speaker 1: That's how it relates. Okay, Okay, So anyway, I'm sitting
[45:10] Speaker 1: there in the lounge room.
[45:11] Speaker 3: I hear the shower going and I think, okay, well,
[45:14] Speaker 3: April's probably in there with one of the kids.
[45:16] Speaker 1: And then I see Macy run out of our bedroom
[45:19] Speaker 1: and I was like, your bedroom.
[45:20] Speaker 3: Yeah, she's just in there in a jarmy she's already
[45:22] Speaker 3: must have already showered orr And April comes out after it,
[45:25] Speaker 3: chasing him with a hair brush because she doesn't like
[45:27] Speaker 3: to get a hair brushed.
[45:28] Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, yeah, no one was kind of
[45:30] Speaker 1: didn't think anything of it. And then I was like,
[45:32] Speaker 1: who's in the shower? And then then the shower goes off,
[45:35] Speaker 1: turns itself off. I was like, what the fuck? Anyway,
[45:38] Speaker 1: Oscar walks out, I'll make showering himself. And now on
[45:40] Speaker 1: he walks out, he's like drying his hair, like he
[45:42] Speaker 1: fucking pays the bills. And I was like, what are
[45:44] Speaker 1: you doing? And Apel's like, yeah, he just decided that
[45:46] Speaker 1: he wants to shower himself from now on.
[45:48] Speaker 2: I was like, what the fuck, mister independent, I.
[45:51] Speaker 3: Missed the memo on that one and he's walking out
[45:54] Speaker 3: and like he's just like here going it was to
[45:56] Speaker 3: lot to his bedroom to get changed, hangs his towel
[45:59] Speaker 3: over the chair.
[45:59] Speaker 1: I was like, am I not needed here anymore?
[46:02] Speaker 2: It is weird when the kids all of a sudden,
[46:04] Speaker 2: Like Miley this morning, she was just like breakfast. She's like,
[46:07] Speaker 2: I got this, and I was like, but this is
[46:09] Speaker 2: my job, that's what I do.
[46:11] Speaker 1: Don't take this from me.
[46:12] Speaker 2: He has a still I've got and she's like now,
[46:14] Speaker 2: even when it came to making a lunch, she's like, ah,
[46:16] Speaker 2: I'll do it. I was like, you can't.
[46:17] Speaker 1: You can't cut a fucking apple gets out of the
[46:20] Speaker 1: chef's night.
[46:20] Speaker 2: Yeah, I got it. It's weird. Other kids just like,
[46:23] Speaker 2: all of a sudden, they just want to be independent.
[46:25] Speaker 1: Just grow up. I was like, do I have a
[46:26] Speaker 1: roommate now? Like that's what it felt like.
[46:28] Speaker 6: He came out of the shower and he was like
[46:30] Speaker 6: one towel around his waist, the other one is drying
[46:32] Speaker 6: his hair on his phone. He's like, he's like, hey, girl,
[46:36] Speaker 6: fucking carried on into his bedroom and I was like, fox,
[46:39] Speaker 6: going here, how did you.
[46:41] Speaker 1: Turn the tap off? I was gone for one night.
[46:43] Speaker 1: I know you've grown up. Maybe one more night he'll
[46:47] Speaker 1: move out.
[46:47] Speaker 2: April like, yeah, he's a night shift. Now, you got
[46:49] Speaker 2: a job, didn't you know that?
[46:50] Speaker 1: I know?
[46:51] Speaker 2: And then I was like the other night.
[46:52] Speaker 3: Afterwards, I was like, all right, it's time to shower,
[46:55] Speaker 3: and I was like, who's in first.
[46:57] Speaker 1: And she was like, well, I do believe it's Mazy's
[47:00] Speaker 1: hard because I went in the other night first. I
[47:01] Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I.
[47:02] Speaker 3: Remember, you went in on your own, that's right. And
[47:03] Speaker 3: then he was like, yeah, I shower myself now. I'm like, okay,
[47:06] Speaker 3: but I'm waiting. I'm waiting for him to accidentally turn
[47:09] Speaker 3: the cold off and I'll hear the squeal of the
[47:11] Speaker 3: hot water burning that poor boy's skin.
[47:13] Speaker 1: I was like, make sure you turn the hot water
[47:15] Speaker 1: off first, dad, and he's like, I got this, bro,
[47:18] Speaker 1: I pay the bills.
[47:20] Speaker 2: You know what's going to happen. Next he'll be showering you.
[47:23] Speaker 1: That's that's I need a lot of soap.
[47:27] Speaker 2: That's the next step on the circle of life.
[47:29] Speaker 1: You're changing my nappy.
[47:31] Speaker 3: Yeah, sucker, yeah, I'm going to be when that day comes,
[47:35] Speaker 3: I'm gonna be shit shitting right now, I'm pooping.
[47:39] Speaker 4: Then I'm ship, we want to keep these life on cutlessness.
[47:46] Speaker 1: I'm sorry, can I ask how does.
[47:49] Speaker 4: It make you feel now that you're not needed? Like
[47:51] Speaker 4: does it feel like he's growing up?
[47:53] Speaker 1: I think it's that deep. It was more like, yeah,
[47:55] Speaker 1: I was like, you can cry, you wish.
[48:00] Speaker 4: I feel like it's like little tiny.
[48:02] Speaker 1: Micro jumps detachments.
[48:06] Speaker 4: Yeah, micro's attachment.
[48:07] Speaker 1: He still needs me. It'd be nothing without me. That's
[48:10] Speaker 1: what I like to believe. He's only five, he's seven.
[48:13] Speaker 1: I know, I was joking. He's seven next week? What
[48:17] Speaker 1: about that smiley is a week after?
[48:19] Speaker 2: Just to remind you, I'm looking still looking for that
[48:23] Speaker 2: venue higher because fucking everything's a bloody triple the price.
[48:26] Speaker 2: In Eastern Sydney. We were trying to be good parents recently.
[48:31] Speaker 1: You and Laura your great parents. Don't be ridiculous, no
[48:35] Speaker 1: more so.
[48:35] Speaker 2: One thing that we don't really do a lot of
[48:38] Speaker 2: is like disciplining the kid. The kids will like talk
[48:41] Speaker 2: to us with a lot of attitude and we're like,
[48:43] Speaker 2: we don't.
[48:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not I won't.
[48:45] Speaker 2: With that the consequences, there's not really a lot there.
[48:49] Speaker 1: When a kid talks to me wrong, I'm like, yes.
[48:52] Speaker 2: So the kids are being a bit cheeky, and we
[48:53] Speaker 2: were like, and it was a night where we pre
[48:57] Speaker 2: planned a trip to the RSL, which they love. It's
[49:00] Speaker 2: like their favorite on a Thursday night, Icebergs North one RSEL.
[49:04] Speaker 2: Oh it's closer, let's at the endo of playground. They
[49:06] Speaker 2: love it?
[49:06] Speaker 1: Is it real? Echo?
[49:07] Speaker 2: We No, it's great, it's great. And also they love
[49:11] Speaker 2: it's the only RSLT that I've been to. At six o'clock,
[49:13] Speaker 2: they do the last post and everyone has to stand up.
[49:16] Speaker 1: Do they really? Yeah? Like the kids are so confused.
[49:20] Speaker 2: They love, they love it.
[49:21] Speaker 1: They're like the first time, Oh yeah, like what does
[49:23] Speaker 1: everyone even? I was like, what's happening? I know they're
[49:27] Speaker 1: like face the west, like the west? Which way is it?
[49:30] Speaker 1: I mean doors? There's no windows in these places.
[49:32] Speaker 2: But also some of the kids when like when they laughing,
[49:34] Speaker 2: you're like, you gotta respect the ans as of someone's
[49:37] Speaker 2: feature on the poke off. But the kids are being
[49:42] Speaker 2: really naughty and we're like, you know, that's it. You're
[49:45] Speaker 2: staying home, Maley, You're not going to be the rs
[49:47] Speaker 2: L I love. And I was like, we've got it.
[49:49] Speaker 2: We've got to teach her a lesson and as Jen
[49:51] Speaker 2: Muir the Oracle always say the tantrum is just a
[49:54] Speaker 2: lesson being taught. Okay, We're like, we're not going to cave. Also,
[49:57] Speaker 2: once people like put it out though, that she's not going,
[50:00] Speaker 2: he can scream all you like, doesn't matter decisions being made.
[50:03] Speaker 2: It's final. We're not going back on it. End of
[50:06] Speaker 2: And then Laura and I were like, oh fuck, who's
[50:09] Speaker 2: got to go to the RSL. And I was like
[50:10] Speaker 2: I don't really want to go if you're not going.
[50:12] Speaker 2: But then Laura was like, you go, you go, you
[50:14] Speaker 2: take Lola, and I was like.
[50:16] Speaker 1: She definitely never wanted to go in the first place.
[50:18] Speaker 2: And Lola was like, I want mum. And Laura was like,
[50:21] Speaker 2: I'm going to stay home with Marlay because I did
[50:22] Speaker 2: the discipline with Miley, so I don't want you to
[50:24] Speaker 2: then be fun times dad with her at home. So
[50:26] Speaker 2: I'm going to stay at home. And so Lala was
[50:28] Speaker 2: like like, I'm gonna go with this guy.
[50:31] Speaker 1: What about Poppy?
[50:33] Speaker 2: No, she stayed at home with Laura.
[50:35] Speaker 4: I thought Lola was all about you now she was.
[50:37] Speaker 3: She was like I was, I was trying it.
[50:39] Speaker 2: I was like, Lola, it's date night. You were me
[50:41] Speaker 2: on a date and she was like, oh yeah, so
[50:43] Speaker 2: it was really cute, like we're like, took a couple
[50:46] Speaker 2: of photos together. She was dressed up, real nice, having
[50:48] Speaker 2: a great time, and I was like, you know what,
[50:50] Speaker 2: this is what it's all about, someone on one time.
[50:53] Speaker 2: This is really important stuff. And then she turned on me.
[50:58] Speaker 4: I always do it.
[51:00] Speaker 3: She went into the I always say, don't ruin it,
[51:02] Speaker 3: and they're like, you watch me fucking ruin It was
[51:05] Speaker 3: going like it was like imagine a first day where
[51:07] Speaker 3: everything is just going perfect.
[51:08] Speaker 2: You never's having a good time.
[51:10] Speaker 1: Would you give her a rose one?
[51:12] Speaker 2: But then they have a TV now.
[51:14] Speaker 1: And the.
[51:16] Speaker 2: That wasn't the Bachelor for those one's the most eligible
[51:18] Speaker 2: bachelor in Australia.
[51:20] Speaker 1: Take it outs on YouTube.
[51:22] Speaker 2: It's not.
[51:22] Speaker 1: Actually the crying bit is thanks to me.
[51:27] Speaker 2: But she was like, I want one more episode of
[51:29] Speaker 2: Blue because Blue was playing in the play area and
[51:31] Speaker 2: I was like, okay, one more episode. See the episode
[51:34] Speaker 2: of Blue finished, and I was like, cool, let's get
[51:36] Speaker 2: out of here. It's time to go, and she was like, fuck,
[51:38] Speaker 2: there's I'm legging it runs into the playground. I was like,
[51:41] Speaker 2: there's a couple of parents there as well.
[51:42] Speaker 1: You know when you're that parent.
[51:43] Speaker 2: You're like, you come down right now, and I'm like
[51:47] Speaker 2: vocal in the playground and then Laola's like, fuck you
[51:51] Speaker 2: a loser, and I was like, you gotta come down
[51:54] Speaker 2: this second. And then like it's this Mexican standoff where
[51:57] Speaker 2: she wasn't budging and the parents were like and I'd
[51:59] Speaker 2: like smile with It's like.
[52:00] Speaker 1: Oh, did you just climb in there?
[52:02] Speaker 2: I tried it. She was escaping me.
[52:04] Speaker 1: I can't get in there. It's so hard. I'm not
[52:07] Speaker 1: okay a couple of things.
[52:08] Speaker 3: I'm not that flexible, and I honestly maybe twenty kilos
[52:12] Speaker 3: less I could get in there.
[52:14] Speaker 2: What sucks is when you try and punish your kids,
[52:18] Speaker 2: try and teach them some consequences, but then you, as
[52:20] Speaker 2: the parent, end up suffering the most.
[52:22] Speaker 1: It's a thankless job, Matt.
[52:24] Speaker 3: That's what really hard. Yeah, realistically, it's a thankless job.
[52:27] Speaker 3: And you shouldn't yell your kids in public unless you
[52:29] Speaker 3: absolutely have to thank you.
[52:31] Speaker 2: I needed to hear that no. So in the end,
[52:35] Speaker 2: I had in my arsenal of tricks to try and
[52:38] Speaker 2: get my child to listen to me. I only had
[52:40] Speaker 2: one option left, abandonment. I was like, well, I'll have
[52:44] Speaker 2: to live life without her.
[52:47] Speaker 1: It only really works if they've got a fear of ambannonment,
[52:49] Speaker 1: like Oscar.
[52:50] Speaker 2: I don't think Lola does. But I was like, I
[52:52] Speaker 2: had no other option, and I was like, well, got
[52:54] Speaker 2: my keys out, like dangled the keys and I was like,
[52:56] Speaker 2: I'm just gonna leave.
[52:57] Speaker 1: You did the key dangle?
[52:58] Speaker 2: Have a good afternoon, see you, Loola. I'm heading home
[53:02] Speaker 2: and I just turned my back and I was.
[53:04] Speaker 1: Like, did she come quick or did she creep? Well?
[53:08] Speaker 2: I was slowly walking out. I think the parents also
[53:11] Speaker 2: in the playground were like, hell, that's kind.
[53:13] Speaker 1: Of the people like, oh, I know this move.
[53:17] Speaker 3: I've seen this move before. It's Sefa pans out for him.
[53:20] Speaker 3: You've got commentators in the corner.
[53:22] Speaker 2: And then I look at my shoulder. He's really going
[53:24] Speaker 2: for it in the top corner where she once was.
[53:26] Speaker 2: She's alonger there, and I was like, where the fuck
[53:28] Speaker 2: is she gone?
[53:29] Speaker 1: It's an all or nothing move.
[53:30] Speaker 2: That one that didn't work.
[53:32] Speaker 1: It's embarrassing to come back from.
[53:33] Speaker 2: I'd have to call Laura. I'd be like, can you
[53:35] Speaker 2: come get it? Because I can't.
[53:36] Speaker 3: I'm trying to think like I've done it to Macy
[53:38] Speaker 3: where it's like I've had to be like, oh, the
[53:40] Speaker 3: other days you wouldn't come like she was.
[53:42] Speaker 1: I had to pretty much be like, I agree with
[53:44] Speaker 1: a marshmallow after So at the end of that was
[53:50] Speaker 1: she got rewarded.
[53:51] Speaker 2: I know you don't have a marshmallow.
[53:53] Speaker 1: Yeah, show me, show me it's in the car. No
[53:56] Speaker 1: it's not.
[53:59] Speaker 2: So she followed me and I was like, I've finally
[54:02] Speaker 2: done it. And then in the car ride home she
[54:03] Speaker 2: was like, you're the worst dad ever. I hate you.
[54:06] Speaker 1: And I was like, you're a bad kid.
[54:10] Speaker 3: Feeling mutual, you really should yeah, glasshouses, Laura, Glasshouses.
[54:18] Speaker 2: And then I came home and then Marley and Laura
[54:20] Speaker 2: were having a great time as well. So I came
[54:23] Speaker 2: home with Laula being like I hate you, and I
[54:25] Speaker 2: was like, yeah, well that sucked. No one had fun.
[54:28] Speaker 2: Then Laura and Marley like dancing in the living room,
[54:30] Speaker 2: and I was like, of.
[54:31] Speaker 1: Course you guys are having fun. Yeah, you got sent
[54:34] Speaker 1: down because you're a fun time dad. And then do
[54:36] Speaker 1: you think Marley learned a lesson? Though? I don't know.
[54:39] Speaker 1: I don't think they do. I feel like we're dishing
[54:42] Speaker 1: out a lot of lessons.
[54:43] Speaker 2: They're not learning tried to punish the child. I'm the
[54:46] Speaker 2: one who got punished, and then you're the one who.
[54:47] Speaker 3: Thinks about it and they sleep comfortably at night and
[54:50] Speaker 3: you're like, was not too hard and you're in your
[54:53] Speaker 3: own head about it.
[54:54] Speaker 2: Am I am? I doing a good job.
[54:56] Speaker 1: You're doing the best you can.
[54:57] Speaker 2: I don't know is anyone I enjoying this? I don't
[55:00] Speaker 2: think so.
[55:01] Speaker 5: No.
[55:02] Speaker 1: So except for when they're like, I'm not coming down,
[55:04] Speaker 1: they're enjoying it. They're going I'm not coming that's them
[55:08] Speaker 1: clearly enjoying it. Mattle. This segment is all about smart parenting. Okay,
[55:14] Speaker 1: so people are sending in what they do.
[55:17] Speaker 2: I was like, don't look at me.
[55:19] Speaker 1: What they do as a smart parent, and it's thanks
[55:21] Speaker 1: to Audi good different. This one's from Kate Matt.
[55:25] Speaker 3: When my kids don't want a bath slash shower, I
[55:28] Speaker 3: use shaving cream on the shower glass.
[55:31] Speaker 1: They draw everywhere with no complaints and the glass is
[55:34] Speaker 1: sparkling clean.
[55:35] Speaker 2: Poor dads, Where the fuck's my shaving cream?
[55:39] Speaker 1: He's like, I wouldn't usually have a bed like this,
[55:42] Speaker 1: but there's no shaving green.
[55:44] Speaker 2: Shaving cream is not cheap.
[55:45] Speaker 1: No we got do you know?
[55:47] Speaker 5: Is it?
[55:48] Speaker 1: Vic do you use it? I don't just use the
[55:52] Speaker 1: Do you know what we got the other.
[55:53] Speaker 3: Day I accidentally got delivered someone else's shopping and it
[55:57] Speaker 3: was shampoo. Anyway, the kids frothen it was a kid's shampoo.
[56:01] Speaker 1: They're like, we want to use it. I want to
[56:03] Speaker 1: use it.
[56:04] Speaker 2: So they're in the normally bathed.
[56:06] Speaker 1: Was just they've just got some soap. Just cold water,
[56:08] Speaker 1: cold water run? What even it was a really foamy
[56:16] Speaker 1: is this daddy? Usually? What is this clean?
[56:21] Speaker 2: Hands off the tampoo?
[56:23] Speaker 3: It was like it would foam up. They were intrigued
[56:25] Speaker 3: until they got in their eye and then that was
[56:27] Speaker 3: the end of that.
[56:28] Speaker 2: But anyway, apparently the crayons, the crayons which people have
[56:32] Speaker 2: recommended previously, gets in the ground.
[56:35] Speaker 1: That cheap grout. Yeah, just concrete your whole house.
[56:41] Speaker 2: Don't want to make people panic if they have gone
[56:42] Speaker 2: out already after the last episode. And I bought the
[56:45] Speaker 2: colored crayons for the bath tub, but just watched the ground.
[56:47] Speaker 2: Be careful of the ground.
[56:48] Speaker 1: We really bumste people on that one. So who's the
[56:51] Speaker 1: paper's ground now?
[56:52] Speaker 2: I think they'll come out and say shaving cream causes
[56:54] Speaker 2: cancer and kids and don't listen to anything. We say
[56:59] Speaker 2: what we got next from McGan McGan my again. Okay,
[57:03] Speaker 2: you're gonna be a bit shocked when I read this
[57:05] Speaker 2: first part, but just bear with me. She says, ice
[57:08] Speaker 2: blocks for breakfast.
[57:11] Speaker 1: You're gonna need to elaborate because that seems like a treat.
[57:15] Speaker 2: Seems crazy, right, crazysy? Well, let me continue. I freeze
[57:22] Speaker 2: smoothies into ice block molds. My toddler then thinks he's
[57:25] Speaker 2: having ice cream for breakfast, and I know he's full
[57:28] Speaker 2: of nutrients.
[57:29] Speaker 1: That's good gear. Do you reckon? I could do that
[57:31] Speaker 1: for like special treat after dinner. It's like, hey, you
[57:33] Speaker 1: eat or your dinner, you get this ice cream? Do
[57:35] Speaker 1: you do special treats after Oh?
[57:36] Speaker 2: Yeah, I give them full of chocolate. Really they get
[57:39] Speaker 2: like a couple little gummy lollies or me too?
[57:43] Speaker 1: What do you mean a couple little starving your kids?
[57:46] Speaker 2: Vic, You're like, I'll give them half a strawberry?
[57:49] Speaker 1: Please?
[57:50] Speaker 3: Can I have some more?
[57:51] Speaker 4: You're wondering why it's hard to get them to bed?
[57:54] Speaker 1: Ye, that's true. Yeah, she's schooled.
[57:57] Speaker 5: We once recently gave Louis a tea spoonful of chocolate
[58:01] Speaker 5: sauce after he had his antibiotics. We go back.
[58:04] Speaker 1: He's a tea spood of dust that was so thrilled.
[58:08] Speaker 1: Here's a treat of metal mus.
[58:10] Speaker 4: He was bouncing off the walls.
[58:13] Speaker 1: Sugar before you deprived the poor child. How dare you judge, Matt.
[58:17] Speaker 1: You're doing the best you can. Man.
[58:19] Speaker 2: I give them a two lid I bottle of coke
[58:20] Speaker 2: and that, yeah, a.
[58:23] Speaker 1: Piece of stale bread in the cupboard, you're gonna have that.
[58:27] Speaker 1: Vic did say on another episode, I give them some
[58:29] Speaker 1: frozen fruit.
[58:30] Speaker 2: I was like, uh, you're one of those.
[58:34] Speaker 1: They're gonna come back from their friends.
[58:35] Speaker 3: And house like, guess what Timmy's mom has, And like,
[58:38] Speaker 3: I bet it's not frozen fruit like a bragg And it's.
[58:41] Speaker 4: Because you haven't seen my kids on sugar.
[58:44] Speaker 1: Well, that whose faults That.
[58:48] Speaker 2: He's genius. And if I could do it for dinner,
[58:50] Speaker 2: my kids actually et breakfast pretty well, it's dinner. That
[58:53] Speaker 2: if I could blend up spaghetti bionnaise and give it
[58:55] Speaker 2: to them as an ice block, but I don't.
[58:57] Speaker 3: Think I'm going to try it as for special tree
[59:00] Speaker 3: because I'm sick of the meeting of my ice cream
[59:02] Speaker 3: and that's my ice cream and Daddy doesn't drink anymore,
[59:04] Speaker 3: so daddy needs his ice cream.
[59:07] Speaker 1: This one's from Damp did I damp?
[59:08] Speaker 2: Here you go.
[59:12] Speaker 1: Put damn put the kettle on. It's got such like
[59:15] Speaker 1: an at home with Deb vibe, doesn't it where I
[59:20] Speaker 1: guess he went a money kettle on These poor dods.
[59:23] Speaker 2: They were like, oh my god, I think this is
[59:25] Speaker 2: the episode where my my hack gets right out.
[59:29] Speaker 3: Oh you ever going deb when my toddler grandson's food
[59:33] Speaker 3: is too hot?
[59:34] Speaker 1: Good Mone, Damn, I use my.
[59:36] Speaker 3: Handheld trades blower, Buddy, Damn's gonna trading blower in one.
[59:41] Speaker 1: Hand, kettle in the other.
[59:45] Speaker 2: Oh the fucking is jab with the fucking nikita.
[59:47] Speaker 1: Blowa, Way, I got it? You got.
[59:53] Speaker 2: Okay, Rebecca, what do we got?
[59:56] Speaker 1: Okay?
[59:56] Speaker 2: My kids are a little bit older, nine and thirteen.
[59:58] Speaker 2: Oh wait to brag, Rebecca, hear me out. When the
[1:00:02] Speaker 2: kids have odd oh god, okay o d on screen
[1:00:08] Speaker 2: time and they are fighting, I flip their safety switch.
[1:00:12] Speaker 2: Then it's mum, the powers out. Mom, the internet isn't working,
[1:00:16] Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, I don't know. It is literally
[1:00:19] Speaker 2: a circuit breaker.
[1:00:20] Speaker 1: It's genius. It's turns the power off.
[1:00:25] Speaker 3: I reckon there's one PowerPoint in our house that if
[1:00:28] Speaker 3: I turned both switches on, it trips it anyway. So
[1:00:31] Speaker 3: I'm just like, as soon as the kids give me
[1:00:33] Speaker 3: the ships, I just hit that and does the same thing.
[1:00:37] Speaker 3: So I think it's good gear.
[1:00:38] Speaker 2: That's great. Year, it's great. Get vick every one.
[1:00:40] Speaker 4: That one. No, I don't even know where the switch is.
[1:00:43] Speaker 2: Unbelievable, classic, classic weaponize and confidence. Does d classy bloody
[1:00:51] Speaker 2: does he built the thing?
[1:00:53] Speaker 4: Yeah, we've just moved so I haven't figured that out yet.
[1:00:55] Speaker 3: We've have You got the parent timers on, like on
[1:00:58] Speaker 3: the screens screen not yet like a screen, like if
[1:01:01] Speaker 3: your kids watching a screen, it's like got a timer.
[1:01:03] Speaker 2: I don't have screens while bro screen's just the just
[1:01:07] Speaker 2: the TV on the weekend.
[1:01:08] Speaker 1: I wonder the hate you ah, just a joke, just
[1:01:13] Speaker 1: a joke.
[1:01:15] Speaker 3: If you think you're a smart parent, or you can
[1:01:16] Speaker 3: see yourself a smart shopper, take the Aldi iq test
[1:01:19] Speaker 3: today at iq dot Aldi dot com dot au and
[1:01:22] Speaker 3: find out if you're a true grocery genius.
[1:01:25] Speaker 2: Well not Aldi good different. What fun we've had today,
[1:01:29] Speaker 2: It's been a journey, it's been great, it's been highs,
[1:01:31] Speaker 2: there's been lows, twists and turns. We have a new
[1:01:33] Speaker 2: work would end up but here we are at the end.
[1:01:35] Speaker 2: Funny that.
[1:01:36] Speaker 1: Make sure you subscribe, leave a review, Tell a friend we.
[1:01:39] Speaker 2: Are ash on Apple Podcasts nine hundred and eighty eight reviews.
[1:01:45] Speaker 3: Wow, I would just love it to get to a
[1:01:48] Speaker 3: thousand and if you subscribe you'll get great episodes in
[1:01:50] Speaker 3: your inbox immediately. Or you can join us on socials
[1:01:53] Speaker 3: on Instagram, TikTok YouTube, Facebook group is thriving.
[1:01:57] Speaker 1: He can send us an email if you want. Hello
[1:01:59] Speaker 1: at two Doting Day. That's everything, Okay, goodbye.
[1:02:15] Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
[1:02:18] Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
[1:02:22] Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
[1:02:25] Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
[1:02:28] Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land

Shows are listed from Apple Podcasts' charts and directory, and Podcast Index where it is used. Every show and episode belongs to its publisher and plays from the publisher's own feed; this site hosts none of them.