# #261 Fast Dates, Fajitas & Flight Dramas

An episode of [Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1684076859), 15 Sep 2026, 48 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/16e204f8-7e20-441d-9775-b47f001b3998/bc84f027-187c-4e1f-8ec9-b4c200bd05c6/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=cc3ed8c4-97c9-4810-ace6-b47f001b3db5

This week Ash is back from what he can only describe as the most disastrous holiday he’s ever been on. But there was one silver lining - he and April had their fastest date ever… you genuinely won’t believe how fast. Naturally, this leads the guys into an unexpected obsession with fajitas. Meanwhile, Matt is coming to terms with the fact his little girl is growing up and has already outgrown something he never expected. Plus, the guys have discovered a teacher’s error - could this be the first time a teacher has ever got something wrong? And we know the guys swear… a lot, but it seems their questionable language is starting to rub off on some of our youngest listeners. Don’t forget to sign the petition for paid parental leave for dads here. You can buy a copy of Damian Kookaburra here. If you want to check out the linear clock a Doter designed, take a look here. And you can follow Producer Vic here. ______________________________________________________________________________ If you need a shoulder to cry on: Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: I have a very important update for you on the
[0:02] Speaker 1: Wix household. I'm busting to tell someone. April, my beautiful wife,
[0:10] Speaker 1: who was on last week's episode.
[0:11] Speaker 2: Yes.
[0:12] Speaker 3: She's been very busy with lots of different activities, so
[0:14] Speaker 3: I want to know which one.
[0:16] Speaker 2: Update on all or just one?
[0:17] Speaker 4: Just one for now.
[0:19] Speaker 2: Okay. Drip feed me the updates.
[0:21] Speaker 4: April has a new bicycle.
[0:23] Speaker 2: A new what?
[0:24] Speaker 4: Bicycle.
[0:24] Speaker 2: Oh, they said basketball. I was like, she's playing basketball?
[0:27] Speaker 4: She can do it all.
[0:28] Speaker 2: Fucking hell.
[0:28] Speaker 4: LeBron. I love that line.
[0:47] Speaker 2: Welcome back to Two Doting Dads, I'm Matty J.
[0:49] Speaker 4: And I'm Ash.
[0:50] Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
[0:53] Speaker 2: it is the bad.
[0:53] Speaker 4: And the relatable.
[0:55] Speaker 2: And we don't give advice.
[0:56] Speaker 4: No, we don't. And I know what you're thinking. Listeners
[0:58] Speaker 4: out there are like, so fucking what? So what? It's
[1:00] Speaker 4: a bike.
[1:01] Speaker 1: You're not understanding this. My wife has never learned how
[1:04] Speaker 1: to ride a bike.
[1:04] Speaker 4: Well, I did briefly teach her.
[1:06] Speaker 3: Have you ever pulled Frank, her dad, aside and said,
[1:10] Speaker 3: that's child abuse? What you've done here, raising her in
[1:13] Speaker 3: this world, it's like keeping her locked in the basement.
[1:15] Speaker 1: I don't know how to do things in the Johnson household,
[1:17] Speaker 1: but I like to keep my in-laws on side.
[1:20] Speaker 4: Fair. Okay? I need him.
[1:23] Speaker 3: Have you ever, like, Christmas one time after when you
[1:26] Speaker 3: were drinking gone, you know.
[1:27] Speaker 2: What, Frank?
[1:28] Speaker 4: Do you know what? Frank?
[1:31] Speaker 2: Do you feel guilty?
[1:32] Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, no. Settle down. I know
[1:35] Speaker 4: you're there.
[1:35] Speaker 2: Shut up. You never have. Never had the inkling.
[1:38] Speaker 4: Nah, look, it's just not.
[1:40] Speaker 1: The juice isn't worse than the squeeze, which is a
[1:43] Speaker 1: famous saying from Matthew Johnson.
[1:45] Speaker 2: So she never, never, just for the record, was never
[1:47] Speaker 2: taught as a kid.
[1:48] Speaker 4: Never taught as a kid.
[1:49] Speaker 1: She has with me on a big grassy field once,
[1:52] Speaker 1: gave her a go on a bike. And I know
[1:54] Speaker 1: that she can do it. She's just anxious about it all.
[1:57] Speaker 1: But the kids are really into their bikes at the moment.
[2:00] Speaker 1: Oscar's just upgraded to a bigger bike. He's getting quick.
[2:03] Speaker 1: He's getting adventurous. And he wants his mom to join him.
[2:05] Speaker 1: And she really wants to join him. So I took
[2:07] Speaker 1: her to the bike shop. Okay, we measured her up
[2:11] Speaker 1: for the correct bicycle.
[2:12] Speaker 2: We got ice cream.
[2:14] Speaker 4: We got ice cream.
[2:14] Speaker 1: She was well behaved. She was well behaved. Special trade bicycle.
[2:18] Speaker 1: I got one too because I needed a new bike
[2:20] Speaker 1: as well.
[2:21] Speaker 3: Did you, for April's bike choice, did you let her
[2:25] Speaker 3: decide or did you get someone over to.
[2:27] Speaker 2: Say, hey, look, she's, She needs, yeah, okay.
[2:29] Speaker 1: Yeah, look, Macy came along with us, so I was
[2:31] Speaker 1: distracted with the baskets for Macy.
[2:34] Speaker 2: They love, the kids love.
[2:35] Speaker 4: A basket, don't they?
[2:36] Speaker 1: No, do you know what she really is loving and
[2:38] Speaker 1: she wants for her birthday? Streamers. No, like the dolly
[2:42] Speaker 1: bike seat. So it's like a baby seat for kids.
[2:45] Speaker 4: As she walked in there, she was like, look at that.
[2:50] Speaker 2: They are obsessed, aren't they?
[2:51] Speaker 5: Do you know they don't make bike baskets for boys? Wow.
[2:55] Speaker 2: How do you know this?
[2:57] Speaker 4: Look, we're already balls deep in one petition. We could
[3:00] Speaker 4: start another one.
[3:01] Speaker 5: Well, I thought that's a bit slack for the boys.
[3:03] Speaker 2: Because the boys were.
[3:04] Speaker 5: Because Louis wanted one.
[3:05] Speaker 2: Yeah, like Louis is like, where am I going to
[3:06] Speaker 2: put my dinosaurs?
[3:07] Speaker 5: Yeah, he's like, really sorry, we've only got those girls ones.
[3:08] Speaker 5: I'm like, I mean.
[3:09] Speaker 4: Where are we going to put all my Hot Wheels cars?
[3:11] Speaker 4: Where are we going to put all my important things? Lego.
[3:14] Speaker 3: You could have like a little briefcase thingamajig.
[3:17] Speaker 4: It's a briefcase. He's got to hold it on the
[3:20] Speaker 4: side like a businessman.
[3:21] Speaker 2: Boys can have baskets too. This bike comes with two briefcases.
[3:31] Speaker 1: No it's one of those you know when you see
[3:33] Speaker 1: um like bike riders that have been riding a real
[3:35] Speaker 1: long distance they got the satchel over the back it's
[3:38] Speaker 1: like a camel yeah they're the boys are more utility
[3:42] Speaker 1: bikes girls are more like streamers and the thing so
[3:45] Speaker 1: i will be teaching april how to ride a bike.
[3:48] Speaker 5: Oh cannot wait for that content and i will.
[3:50] Speaker 1: Be filming it she doesn't know i'm gonna film it I'm.
[3:54] Speaker 2: Sure she's like.
[3:55] Speaker 4: She's not stupid.
[3:55] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure she's going to be like. I never
[3:57] Speaker 2: said that. What do you mean the camera's coming? You're
[4:00] Speaker 2: there with like a tripod film crew.
[4:02] Speaker 4: Yeah, like a home cam, camcorder. We're doing a documentary.
[4:05] Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll get my nan's home camcorder to slide flip open.
[4:09] Speaker 2: So when did you buy the bike?
[4:10] Speaker 4: Before we went away and they delivered it when we
[4:12] Speaker 4: were away.
[4:13] Speaker 2: Oh, and Frank built it.
[4:14] Speaker 4: Nah.
[4:15] Speaker 2: Your dad built it?
[4:15] Speaker 4: Yeah, Poppy Boom. I think I have the photo actually.
[4:18] Speaker 2: I wonder if Frank is secretly like.
[4:21] Speaker 1: He's going to be hell jealous.
[4:22] Speaker 3: Because it's all from the Wicks. The Wicks are coming
[4:26] Speaker 3: in and saving the day.
[4:29] Speaker 2: You are a long line of bicycle riders.
[4:31] Speaker 4: We are.
[4:32] Speaker 2: I believe.
[4:32] Speaker 1: Well, you witnessed it in Canberra because I beat you
[4:34] Speaker 1: in that balancing thing.
[4:37] Speaker 2: I wasn't even trying, Vic. I was barely even.
[4:39] Speaker 1: He wanted to do it again. That's April's new bike.
[4:42] Speaker 2: That's a boy's bike.
[4:43] Speaker 1: No, it's not.
[4:44] Speaker 2: That's a boy's bike.
[4:44] Speaker 1: No, it's a unisex bike, thank you very much. Just
[4:47] Speaker 1: like those baskets should be.
[4:50] Speaker 2: So now you're for the basket.
[4:51] Speaker 5: Equal rights for the bikes.
[4:53] Speaker 4: I'm all about bike equality.
[4:56] Speaker 3: Also, just quickly actually, a few people have said, who's
[4:59] Speaker 3: that woman talking?
[5:02] Speaker 2: And if you're wondering.
[5:03] Speaker 4: That's Vic.
[5:04] Speaker 1: And Vic, we've been trying to get this episode on
[5:07] Speaker 1: the way for ages, but Vic's been dragging her heels.
[5:09] Speaker 4: So Vic, say hello to the doters.
[5:11] Speaker 5: Hello.
[5:12] Speaker 1: I know she's truly held back there when I said
[5:14] Speaker 1: you've been dragging your heels.
[5:16] Speaker 4: Most of the time. I don't know if she listened.
[5:18] Speaker 4: Most of the time.
[5:19] Speaker 5: I did, but I was writing notes.
[5:20] Speaker 4: Most of the time.
[5:21] Speaker 2: We were trying to pay you out.
[5:22] Speaker 4: Matt and I are very.
[5:23] Speaker 2: Oh, hey, well.
[5:25] Speaker 4: We're very prompt, you and I.
[5:26] Speaker 1: We're like, we're going to start at this time, but
[5:28] Speaker 1: Vic really slows us down.
[5:31] Speaker 4: So.
[5:32] Speaker 3: Multiple trips out to get coffees, drinks.
[5:34] Speaker 5: Oh, my God, that's you guys.
[5:35] Speaker 2: She got some eyeliner, eyeshadow.
[5:39] Speaker 5: That wasn't from the shops.
[5:41] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[5:41] Speaker 4: We were meant to start this episode an hour ago.
[5:44] Speaker 2: Ash is running a tight schedule today.
[5:45] Speaker 4: I'm running a tight schedule around here. So I am
[5:47] Speaker 4: type A, you're type B.
[5:50] Speaker 3: So Vic, producer Vic is here. That is who you
[5:53] Speaker 3: hear often cackling.
[5:55] Speaker 2: In the background.
[5:55] Speaker 4: Vicky or Victoria or V. Yeah. Depending on.
[5:59] Speaker 2: V city.
[5:59] Speaker 4: V city. That's pretty good. That's new. Write it down.
[6:03] Speaker 4: You're welcome.
[6:04] Speaker 2: Great bike. Lovely color. Seats very high on this.
[6:08] Speaker 4: She hasn't sat on it yet.
[6:09] Speaker 2: Okay.
[6:10] Speaker 4: My dad's like, she's seven foot. Yeah. I've got a
[6:15] Speaker 4: bike seat extender for you. Why?
[6:16] Speaker 2: We should have a competition. Who can learn to ride first,
[6:20] Speaker 2: Marley or April?
[6:21] Speaker 1: Write that down and i mean it okay that'd be
[6:24] Speaker 1: so good do we go to separate camps and then
[6:26] Speaker 1: come back for like a who's gonna a bike.
[6:29] Speaker 2: Race yes isn't it the bmx too much april and
[6:38] Speaker 2: marley both in hospital we're like oh damn.
[6:40] Speaker 1: There's a circuit bike track along the beach there but
[6:43] Speaker 1: it's like on an oval and you can stand in
[6:45] Speaker 1: the middle and watch your kid go right around.
[6:47] Speaker 2: I need to, gosh, that is honestly, this is the
[6:50] Speaker 2: motivation that I need.
[6:50] Speaker 4: Are we talking time trial or are we talking air?
[6:53] Speaker 2: She's a grown woman. We're talking about a seven-year-old child.
[6:55] Speaker 4: Yeah, but we're. I love you, April.
[7:00] Speaker 1: The weaving through, we could set up a bunch of
[7:02] Speaker 1: challenges and they go head to head.
[7:04] Speaker 2: We can have, yeah, obstacle course.
[7:05] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[7:06] Speaker 2: And we could put oil on the pavement.
[7:08] Speaker 5: Nice. Nice.
[7:09] Speaker 4: Bring Louis down.
[7:10] Speaker 2: Bring Louis down.
[7:11] Speaker 4: Yeah, he's learned to ride.
[7:12] Speaker 2: He's just learned, yeah.
[7:13] Speaker 1: But he won't be able to bring any of his
[7:14] Speaker 1: toys because there's no basket for boys. Yet.
[7:16] Speaker 4: Yet. Yes.
[7:18] Speaker 5: We should bring one out.
[7:19] Speaker 4: But boys are more backpack people.
[7:21] Speaker 2: Yeah. Well said. Well said. Not to generalise.
[7:25] Speaker 4: Baskets are good.
[7:25] Speaker 2: Are you going to do the old towel under the armpits? Yeah.
[7:29] Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm going to do the whole thing. Under April's armpits?
[7:32] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[7:32] Speaker 4: There's going to be good gear.
[7:33] Speaker 2: Let me know how you go.
[7:34] Speaker 4: I will.
[7:34] Speaker 2: Also, you need to put her on a balance bike first.
[7:37] Speaker 5: Definitely.
[7:38] Speaker 2: Nah.
[7:38] Speaker 4: Straight in the deep end.
[7:39] Speaker 2: Sure. She's 36.
[7:39] Speaker 5: Nearly.
[7:39] Speaker 4: 35. Sorry, babe. But yes, bike is incoming. Now.
[7:45] Speaker 1: Also, while we're sitting in this little housekeeping session, we
[7:48] Speaker 1: had a DM. So I mentioned a while back about
[7:52] Speaker 1: linear clocks.
[7:54] Speaker 2: Linear being?
[7:55] Speaker 4: So circular is the current clock.
[7:58] Speaker 1: But with people who are neurodivergent and ADHD, the circular
[8:03] Speaker 1: clock doesn't really hold you accountable for your time.
[8:07] Speaker 4: Is that the correct way to say that?
[8:09] Speaker 5: Yeah, because it doesn't end. It's hard to see when
[8:11] Speaker 5: it ends.
[8:13] Speaker 2: You need to have the finish line.
[8:14] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[8:14] Speaker 1: So for me, I see a clock and I'm like,
[8:16] Speaker 1: if it goes past the 12, it's going to keep going.
[8:19] Speaker 4: So it doesn't really matter.
[8:21] Speaker 1: But if I see an ending, I'm like, fuck, I've
[8:23] Speaker 1: got to get what I need to do. So anyway,
[8:25] Speaker 1: so this particular dota heard me talking about the idea
[8:28] Speaker 1: of this and they have created an app. Oh.
[8:31] Speaker 4: Okay.
[8:32] Speaker 1: A linear clock app, a first version of it, which
[8:34] Speaker 1: I'll quickly show you. And we'll leave a link in
[8:36] Speaker 1: our show notes for any other dotas to jump on
[8:39] Speaker 1: and have a look. But essentially what you do, Matt,
[8:42] Speaker 1: is you break your day down.
[8:43] Speaker 2: I like that.
[8:45] Speaker 1: You break your day down on this app from your
[8:48] Speaker 1: morning routine, like anything that needs to be done. From
[8:51] Speaker 1: wake up to go to sleep. And the linear clock
[8:54] Speaker 1: shows you what part of the day you're at. And
[8:56] Speaker 1: you can leave little prompts of like what you usually
[8:58] Speaker 1: do during that time of the day. Like for mine,
[8:59] Speaker 1: I've got work because this is work. apparently.
[9:02] Speaker 2: You've got here masturbate at 12.30.
[9:04] Speaker 4: Yeah, that's 24 hours. That's at audibles.
[9:09] Speaker 2: At any moment. Oh, no, it's masturbate for the fourth time. Okay.
[9:13] Speaker 4: That's the type where it's meant to be 14th.
[9:15] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[9:16] Speaker 4: 14th time. But it's only- Careful of your testicles, though.
[9:19] Speaker 5: Remember what happened.
[9:20] Speaker 1: Well, they've actually been stitched to the walls of my testicles,
[9:22] Speaker 1: so it's a fucking free-for-all over here.
[9:24] Speaker 2: Good to.
[9:27] Speaker 5: Know.
[9:28] Speaker 4: Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, Vic.
[9:30] Speaker 5: Okay.
[9:31] Speaker 2: Can't tell if you're joking or not.
[9:33] Speaker 1: Not joking uh but yes so you can go through
[9:36] Speaker 1: and you can change it uh it is the first
[9:38] Speaker 1: stage of this i provided what i thought was some
[9:41] Speaker 1: feedback which is a widget could potentially be built but
[9:43] Speaker 1: of course these things cost money take time but i
[9:45] Speaker 1: will leave we'll leave a link so currently now i'm
[9:48] Speaker 1: in work stage it's got 55 minutes left for 55
[9:52] Speaker 1: minutes to get this out the door.
[9:53] Speaker 2: Well that's plenty of time You'd think that.
[9:56] Speaker 4: You'd think that.
[9:57] Speaker 2: I didn't have time to watch that last video.
[9:59] Speaker 4: Which video?
[9:59] Speaker 2: The one you stopped me watching.
[10:00] Speaker 1: Yeah, because I thought the video would turn into.
[10:02] Speaker 2: You are right.
[10:03] Speaker 4: Vic will slow us down again.
[10:04] Speaker 2: Vic is very, she's like an anchor. How dare you.
[10:10] Speaker 4: She's like a backpack full of sand.
[10:14] Speaker 2: Vic, you're doing great work.
[10:15] Speaker 1: I know.
[10:16] Speaker 4: We kid.
[10:16] Speaker 2: We kid.
[10:17] Speaker 1: We kid.
[10:17] Speaker 2: We kid.
[10:18] Speaker 4: We kid.
[10:19] Speaker 1: But.
[10:19] Speaker 4: We've just put it.
[10:20] Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw in the calendar, there's
[10:21] Speaker 1: a performance review meeting for after this.
[10:23] Speaker 4: It's a new linear clock.
[10:25] Speaker 1: And thank you to that Dota who DMed me.
[10:27] Speaker 2: Thank you.
[10:28] Speaker 1: Your name eludes me, but that's okay. It doesn't mean
[10:30] Speaker 1: I've forgotten about you because here I am talking about it.
[10:32] Speaker 3: Ash, I can't tell if I'm meant to read this
[10:34] Speaker 3: line or you're meant to read this line.
[10:36] Speaker 2: It is a question. Vic, tell me if I'm wrong.
[10:39] Speaker 3: The fastest date night you ever had from sit down
[10:41] Speaker 3: to paying the bill.
[10:41] Speaker 4: Yeah, that's from me to you. That's from so. Oh,
[10:43] Speaker 4: for me.
[10:44] Speaker 1: That's my question to you because April and I, we
[10:47] Speaker 1: just got away for a few days, which we'll talk
[10:48] Speaker 1: about in a second.
[10:49] Speaker 4: It was a disaster.
[10:50] Speaker 1: But we were talking about we obviously went to a
[10:53] Speaker 1: lot of nice places to eat and how quickly you're served.
[10:57] Speaker 1: And it got us thinking about what our quickest date
[10:59] Speaker 1: night was, how it has ever been. So my question
[11:01] Speaker 1: to you, and I do know when mine was, but
[11:04] Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you.
[11:04] Speaker 4: I don't know.
[11:05] Speaker 3: To be honest, God, like the last couple of date nights,
[11:09] Speaker 3: I cannot even recall when.
[11:10] Speaker 1: And I'm talking seated, eaten, paid the bill, you walk
[11:15] Speaker 1: out and realize what time it is.
[11:15] Speaker 2: Nothing spectacular.
[11:17] Speaker 3: I think we've always tried to like, because whenever we've
[11:19] Speaker 3: had a date night, we've had someone booked in as
[11:22] Speaker 3: a babysitter. So like regardless of how quickly the meal
[11:24] Speaker 3: comes out and how quickly we eat it, we like
[11:27] Speaker 3: have to make.
[11:28] Speaker 2: Sure that we like.
[11:29] Speaker 4: Sit in the car and doom scroll.
[11:31] Speaker 2: So nothing under an hour.
[11:33] Speaker 4: Nothing under an hour.
[11:34] Speaker 1: Okay. I'm going to run two different types of date
[11:36] Speaker 1: nights behind.
[11:37] Speaker 2: Please.
[11:37] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[11:38] Speaker 1: First one was just a single course. Like it's a,
[11:42] Speaker 1: let's go have dinner. Not like a, an occasion, just
[11:44] Speaker 1: like a random. And it was a fajita place in Manly.
[11:49] Speaker 1: Sat down, ate, paid 20 minutes. Whoa.
[11:53] Speaker 2: What did you order?
[11:54] Speaker 4: It was a fajita place.
[11:55] Speaker 2: Fajitas.
[11:55] Speaker 4: Lovely. We used to go there all the time.
[11:57] Speaker 2: So they just do fajitas?
[11:58] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[11:59] Speaker 2: Nothing but fajitas? Yeah, it was great.
[12:00] Speaker 4: Do you like fajitas?
[12:02] Speaker 2: Do you like fajitas?
[12:03] Speaker 4: I love a good fajita.
[12:04] Speaker 2: I've never seen you eat a fajita.
[12:05] Speaker 4: Oh, I don't eat them in the office.
[12:06] Speaker 2: I eat at night. You only eat fajitas on date night?
[12:10] Speaker 4: Yeah. I'm going to have fajitas tonight.
[12:12] Speaker 1: I'll take a photo for you.
[12:13] Speaker 2: Please.
[12:13] Speaker 4: Give you the proof. Debunk you saying you've never seen
[12:15] Speaker 4: me eat it.
[12:16] Speaker 2: Be fajitas.
[12:17] Speaker 4: I'll take anything. I'll take it all. One of each.
[12:19] Speaker 2: You're not partial to a particular? No, no.
[12:21] Speaker 4: I think like as long as it's good, I'll eat
[12:23] Speaker 4: any meat.
[12:23] Speaker 2: Fajitas for you, Vic?
[12:24] Speaker 5: What's the difference between a fajita and a burrito?
[12:26] Speaker 4: That's a great. Well, I thought you were going to
[12:29] Speaker 4: say taco. Oh. Because that's more of a quote.
[12:31] Speaker 2: Burrito is a circular. They're girthy. Fajita is a flat.
[12:34] Speaker 1: Yeah, but a taco and a fajita, I don't know.
[12:37] Speaker 4: I really don't know.
[12:37] Speaker 2: Good question. Interesting.
[12:39] Speaker 4: I was going to say it's because you build it yourself.
[12:41] Speaker 2: Do what?
[12:42] Speaker 1: Yeah, they bring you the fajita, the rams, the. There's
[12:45] Speaker 1: also like some sautéed capsicum and onion.
[12:48] Speaker 4: Oh, it's like a.
[12:49] Speaker 5: Pick and mix.
[12:49] Speaker 3: Interesting that if you're going to do Mexican, you just
[12:52] Speaker 3: make sure the burrito is included in the mix with
[12:54] Speaker 3: the tacos. It's like a Chinese restaurant only doing like
[12:57] Speaker 3: honey chicken or like Mongolian lamb.
[12:59] Speaker 1: If you only made one dish, think of how accurate
[13:03] Speaker 1: that you could be without wasting money.
[13:05] Speaker 4: Think about this.
[13:06] Speaker 1: If you're like, okay, we're going to do chicken and
[13:08] Speaker 1: beef fajitas here. People come in, they eat chicken and
[13:10] Speaker 1: beef fajitas. That's on the menu, but then you've got
[13:12] Speaker 1: a sides menu where you make your money. where you
[13:15] Speaker 1: make your money on the sides and the alcohol and
[13:17] Speaker 1: the margaritas. But it's so easy for you to come
[13:19] Speaker 1: in because we only have one thing and you know
[13:21] Speaker 1: it's good and we're going to give it to you
[13:22] Speaker 1: every time, right?
[13:26] Speaker 4: That's just your opinion.
[13:27] Speaker 1: But it's also nice to not have to think about
[13:32] Speaker 1: the choice of what you're going to eat, right? If
[13:33] Speaker 1: you're like, we're going for fajitas, that's what we're getting.
[13:35] Speaker 1: And it's also as well because it is a mix
[13:37] Speaker 1: and match and you're together. It's part of the eating
[13:40] Speaker 1: ritual of the fajita.
[13:42] Speaker 5: Both of you are dipping into the same plate.
[13:44] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it would come out, it would have
[13:46] Speaker 1: all the ingredients and then a nice little box of...
[13:48] Speaker 1: We're getting hung up on details here, guys.
[13:51] Speaker 4: Sorry. This is my job usually to get hung up on.
[13:53] Speaker 2: No, I'm the questions guy.
[13:55] Speaker 4: Okay, now.
[13:56] Speaker 2: When was it launched?
[13:57] Speaker 4: This was... Well, in Mexico, believe it or not.
[14:02] Speaker 1: Now, here's one, an occasion date night where I'm talking
[14:06] Speaker 1: like it's like an anniversary and it's like we go
[14:08] Speaker 1: somewhere a bit more like not as casual, okay?
[14:11] Speaker 2: The quickest?
[14:12] Speaker 4: I'm talking.
[14:13] Speaker 1: three courses, dessert, out the door. Have a guess how
[14:18] Speaker 1: quick we did that.
[14:20] Speaker 4: And April can back me up on this.
[14:22] Speaker 2: Please don't tell me it's under an hour.
[14:23] Speaker 4: 45 minutes. No, what? And April and I love that.
[14:28] Speaker 4: Are we not talking? Now it's a competition in our house.
[14:32] Speaker 4: It's like, was that close?
[14:34] Speaker 1: Because we went to a Mexican restaurant in Canggu. I
[14:36] Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever heard of Canggu. It's essentially
[14:38] Speaker 1: a suburb in Sydney or Australia now. We went to
[14:41] Speaker 1: a Mexican restaurant there. 25 minutes, it was a course
[14:44] Speaker 1: and dessert.
[14:45] Speaker 5: Most people would be like trying to stretch out their dates.
[14:49] Speaker 5: You're just trying to shorten them.
[14:51] Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so funny. It's really funny. Trying to get
[14:53] Speaker 4: back in. Yeah, I'm.
[14:57] Speaker 1: A fucking ace. But 45 minutes, it was three courses
[14:59] Speaker 1: and dessert. Anyway, that's my chat.
[15:02] Speaker 2: A little update on Lola.
[15:04] Speaker 3: She had, Vic, just so you're aware, she had a
[15:07] Speaker 3: phantom illness that would kick in 9pm every night, would
[15:09] Speaker 3: end up screaming from her room and we couldn't find
[15:12] Speaker 3: out what was wrong with her.
[15:13] Speaker 4: In her sleep?
[15:14] Speaker 2: In her sleep.
[15:14] Speaker 3: Well, maybe she was having night terrors. For those playing
[15:17] Speaker 3: at home, ear infection.
[15:20] Speaker 1: Everything ends up being an ear infection, eh?
[15:21] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[15:22] Speaker 4: Why is that? He must kick in at.
[15:24] Speaker 5: Night or something because Louis had the same thing, same time.
[15:26] Speaker 2: Yep. When you're laying down. But she could never, we
[15:29] Speaker 2: were like, what's wrong with you? And she was just like, ah!
[15:32] Speaker 1: It's like the body receives an infection and then she's like,
[15:35] Speaker 1: just send it to the ears.
[15:37] Speaker 2: Like she couldn't. She could never tell us that it
[15:40] Speaker 2: was her ear. She was like, it's my tummy. It's
[15:42] Speaker 2: my legs. It's my knee. We're like, what is wrong
[15:44] Speaker 2: with you?
[15:45] Speaker 5: I think Louis said it was his jaw. Like, I
[15:46] Speaker 5: think it's something in the head.
[15:48] Speaker 4: It's confusing.
[15:48] Speaker 1: It's because it's so close to the pain, so close
[15:51] Speaker 1: to your brain, right, which is your pain receptor. So
[15:53] Speaker 1: it's sort of like so close that it's like.
[15:56] Speaker 4: My whole head hurts. I haven't had an ear infection since.
[15:59] Speaker 1: I was a kid, but, like, I know that they're bad.
[16:03] Speaker 4: Poor thing.
[16:03] Speaker 2: That illness is now being put to bed.
[16:06] Speaker 4: For now.
[16:07] Speaker 2: Yeah, although fucking– Didn't know this. Didn't know this.
[16:10] Speaker 3: You cannot get eye drops for children under the age
[16:13] Speaker 3: of two.
[16:13] Speaker 2: Poppy.
[16:14] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[16:15] Speaker 4: Conjunctivitis?
[16:15] Speaker 3: Conjunctivitis. And they just say, oh, you've got to have
[16:19] Speaker 3: just these little wipes. And then when it gets bad enough,
[16:22] Speaker 3: you then go to the doctors, they give you the antibiotics.
[16:24] Speaker 3: So we're just like, but she fucking got like gunk
[16:27] Speaker 3: is streaming out the eyes.
[16:28] Speaker 4: I know.
[16:29] Speaker 1: And you go to sleep and wake up.
[16:30] Speaker 4: That's the worst.
[16:31] Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Just coming into her room and she's
[16:33] Speaker 2: like a mummy that's been stitched. I'm born.
[16:38] Speaker 4: I know. Like having it as an adult and you're like, oh,
[16:40] Speaker 4: my God, this is it.
[16:41] Speaker 2: This is it.
[16:44] Speaker 4: And then you're like slowly, like you're like, how strong
[16:47] Speaker 4: are my eyelids?
[16:48] Speaker 5: Just explain what you're doing there.
[16:49] Speaker 1: I'm just trying to, I don't know, closing my eyes.
[16:52] Speaker 4: Pretending that I was blind. I'm walking around going, let
[16:56] Speaker 4: me feel your face. April, come here.
[16:59] Speaker 2: When your kids got conjunctivitis, you're like, oh man, my
[17:01] Speaker 2: eyes are itchy. I know.
[17:03] Speaker 4: It's like when someone has head lice and you're like.
[17:04] Speaker 2: I get like a tiny bit of sleep in my
[17:06] Speaker 2: eye and I'm like, this is it.
[17:07] Speaker 4: It's the beginning. I'm going down. It's all going to land.
[17:10] Speaker 4: Speaking about bedtime.
[17:12] Speaker 2: All right.
[17:12] Speaker 4: Bedtime stories.
[17:13] Speaker 1: I would say two of our favourite football players. Damien Cook, Cookie.
[17:17] Speaker 4: Very good guy. Really good guy.
[17:18] Speaker 1: And AJ, which is Alex Johnston.
[17:21] Speaker 2: Who is currently the leading try scorer in the NRL.
[17:23] Speaker 4: Yes.
[17:24] Speaker 1: And congratulations to Damien, who's just finished his career in
[17:27] Speaker 1: the NRL this year.
[17:28] Speaker 2: Oh, he's retiring. Yes, yes.
[17:30] Speaker 4: Great career. New South Wales, Australia, the whole bit. And
[17:32] Speaker 4: they've written a book. It's called Damien Cook.
[17:36] Speaker 2: Very clever.
[17:36] Speaker 4: Okay, we'll leave it in our show notes as well.
[17:38] Speaker 1: Gee, the show notes are going to be long this episode.
[17:40] Speaker 4: But great read. Have you read it?
[17:42] Speaker 2: Me?
[17:42] Speaker 4: Not yet.
[17:43] Speaker 5: What teams are they in?
[17:44] Speaker 2: Cookies are for St. George.
[17:46] Speaker 1: St. George, but he has a lot of games for
[17:48] Speaker 1: the Rabbitohs and AJ has, it's all Rabbitohs, isn't it?
[17:51] Speaker 1: He's going to P & G next year or year
[17:53] Speaker 1: after next and a stellar bloke.
[17:55] Speaker 4: Both of them. So, great. Hey, you over there. Hello. Hey, you.
[18:04] Speaker 4: I'm not sure if you saw.
[18:05] Speaker 1: We have been influencing some people that we shouldn't be influencing.
[18:09] Speaker 1: And I'm not taking the blame for it because I
[18:12] Speaker 1: don't control the radios in Vic's house or the podcast platforms.
[18:16] Speaker 3: It often alternates between if I'm the swearer or you're
[18:20] Speaker 3: the swearer.
[18:21] Speaker 4: I know. And in this case.
[18:22] Speaker 2: Neither one of us are innocent.
[18:24] Speaker 5: What word did you say Ash says?
[18:26] Speaker 4: He says fuck. I'm proud.
[18:31] Speaker 5: And what does Matt say?
[18:32] Speaker 4: Chicken. Chicken?
[18:34] Speaker 5: But they're not words you should say, are they? No.
[18:37] Speaker 2: No.
[18:37] Speaker 4: I love how he's like, what did Ash say? Fuck.
[18:43] Speaker 2: That is Vic's beautiful daughter.
[18:45] Speaker 4: How old is Lily?
[18:46] Speaker 5: She's three and a half.
[18:48] Speaker 4: My demographic audience?
[18:49] Speaker 5: After you were saying how you wanted to start recording
[18:51] Speaker 5: Macy's voice, I was like, oh, I should start doing
[18:53] Speaker 5: it with Lily. So I started taking little videos with her.
[18:55] Speaker 4: And what did she have to say?
[18:56] Speaker 1: Fuck.
[18:58] Speaker 5: She was working next to me and I was like,
[19:00] Speaker 5: what am I doing? And she's like, you're working. I'm like,
[19:02] Speaker 5: what do I do? And she's like.
[19:03] Speaker 2: I don't fucking know.
[19:05] Speaker 5: She's like tinkering.
[19:06] Speaker 1: Correct.
[19:07] Speaker 5: But then she goes, for Matt and Ash.
[19:09] Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah.
[19:11] Speaker 5: And then she goes, Ash says fuck. But Louis also
[19:15] Speaker 5: listens and he's like, every time you guys swear, I
[19:18] Speaker 5: shouldn't listen to it in the car, but I do.
[19:19] Speaker 4: Yeah, you should.
[19:20] Speaker 5: And he's like.
[19:21] Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[19:24] Speaker 5: Every time he's like, I want to say.
[19:26] Speaker 4: We were having lunch with some friends.
[19:28] Speaker 1: They're like avid listeners and she was like, I've had
[19:30] Speaker 1: to stop listening when the kids are in the car.
[19:31] Speaker 4: I was like, because you're just outlandish at the moment.
[19:35] Speaker 2: We also on YouTube, shout out to the YouTube watchers.
[19:39] Speaker 4: The one of you that's watching.
[19:40] Speaker 3: Because we're flagged as being not inappropriate. We're flagged as
[19:44] Speaker 3: being explicit.
[19:46] Speaker 4: Sounds about right.
[19:47] Speaker 2: We're not that bad.
[19:48] Speaker 5: Fuck.
[19:50] Speaker 4: Them. If your kids are in the car while you're listening,
[19:55] Speaker 4: I'm fucking sorry. Sorry.
[19:59] Speaker 2: We did try at one point.
[20:00] Speaker 4: I'm not changing who I am for anybody.
[20:02] Speaker 2: The episode, we got five minutes in and we're like,
[20:04] Speaker 2: this is awful.
[20:05] Speaker 1: I know.
[20:06] Speaker 2: Oh, well. Sorry to your children, Vic.
[20:07] Speaker 1: That's okay. Look, honestly, they're going to learn those words.
[20:11] Speaker 1: They might as well learn them from me.
[20:12] Speaker 4: And I'm proud of that.
[20:13] Speaker 5: Amen.
[20:13] Speaker 3: Tell me what I do here, Ash. You know that
[20:16] Speaker 3: there has been a speaking competition at school.
[20:19] Speaker 2: Poor Lola. In the morning of her speech, she was like,
[20:22] Speaker 2: I don't feel too well. And I'm like, I'm not
[20:23] Speaker 2: buying that shit.
[20:24] Speaker 4: You're not going to school.
[20:26] Speaker 2: No, that's nerves.
[20:27] Speaker 5: She's not feeling well.
[20:28] Speaker 2: She was really sick. You know when like.
[20:32] Speaker 5: It was your infection.
[20:33] Speaker 2: You know sometimes when you look at your kids and
[20:35] Speaker 2: you're like, oh, yo, you look sick.
[20:38] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[20:38] Speaker 4: Macy's so. It's usually the pale kids. Macy.
[20:41] Speaker 2: I picked up Lola and her eyes were half open.
[20:45] Speaker 2: And she's like, daddy, is that you? And I was like, ooh.
[20:49] Speaker 2: And then I was like, did you do your speech today?
[20:51] Speaker 2: And she's like, yeah. And I said, what did they say?
[20:55] Speaker 2: And she goes, I need to speak up louder. i
[20:58] Speaker 2: was like oh sorry about that.
[21:04] Speaker 1: But like you like you're saying she's not that into
[21:06] Speaker 1: that like she'll be into other things right like yeah
[21:09] Speaker 1: yeah that's not like i talk for a living now
[21:12] Speaker 1: but like i never public i hated public speaking because
[21:14] Speaker 1: it was.
[21:15] Speaker 3: Just public speaking kids that were the weird ones.
[21:17] Speaker 1: You get some palm cards that We're like adult-sized palm cards.
[21:21] Speaker 1: So essentially, they might as well give me an A4
[21:22] Speaker 1: piece of paper and.
[21:23] Speaker 4: I'd be like, good morning, class 1F.
[21:26] Speaker 2: Look up, eye contact.
[21:27] Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know me, everyone should
[21:29] Speaker 1: know me because we're in the same class. My name
[21:31] Speaker 1: is Ashton Wicks.
[21:33] Speaker 4: And it's like, oh, for God's sake.
[21:35] Speaker 1: But because I didn't want to do it, I would
[21:37] Speaker 1: just string out the sentences for so long. And furthermore,
[21:39] Speaker 1: to the previous sentence that I said in the earlier
[21:42] Speaker 1: part of this speech, just to get to the word
[21:44] Speaker 1: and time count.
[21:45] Speaker 2: Marley was like, what was your favorite subject at school, Dad?
[21:47] Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, it's drama. And she was like,
[21:48] Speaker 2: what's drama? I was like, well, you just pretend to
[21:50] Speaker 2: be someone else. And she was like. That's a lesson?
[21:54] Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah.
[21:55] Speaker 4: She was like, that's a career. Don't get too good
[21:58] Speaker 4: at it though. Breaking news, Vic.
[22:02] Speaker 5: Could this be the worst tantrum a parent has ever experienced?
[22:06] Speaker 5: A flight has been cancelled and passengers left stranded. because
[22:10] Speaker 5: a child refused to sit down and fasten their seat belts.
[22:14] Speaker 5: The Canadian flight was headed for the runway when a
[22:16] Speaker 5: parent and cabin crew failed to secure the child in
[22:19] Speaker 5: their seat with a seat belt. The plane was forced
[22:21] Speaker 5: to return to the gate so the parent and child
[22:24] Speaker 5: could be removed with their luggage. Unfortunately for the rest
[22:27] Speaker 5: of the passengers, they also had to make alternate arrangements.
[22:31] Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
[22:32] Speaker 5: And this was a midnight flight.
[22:34] Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh. How old is this child?
[22:37] Speaker 5: They don't know exactly how old.
[22:39] Speaker 1: It was a toddler.
[22:41] Speaker 4: It's a fucking child, guys. Are we for real?
[22:44] Speaker 1: Like are we for real that we're letting a child
[22:46] Speaker 1: control a whole flyer because someone doesn't want to say,
[22:49] Speaker 1: listen here, fucker, sit down and put your seatbelt on.
[22:53] Speaker 3: Once again, we don't condone swearing on this podcast.
[22:55] Speaker 4: Beat that out.
[22:56] Speaker 1: I'll leave it in there.
[22:57] Speaker 4: Actually, make that louder. Put it on repeat. Yeah, fuck it,
[23:01] Speaker 4: fuck it, fuck it. No, but, like, come on.
[23:03] Speaker 5: Yeah, it doesn't say how old the child is.
[23:05] Speaker 2: Credit to that kid. Put up one hell of a fight. Yeah,
[23:07] Speaker 2: that's a resilient child. Get them into wrestling. That kid's
[23:10] Speaker 2: going to be a wrestler.
[23:11] Speaker 4: If I'm the parent of that kid, unfortunately, you've failed.
[23:16] Speaker 2: I wonder if maybe.
[23:17] Speaker 4: I don't want to be that guy.
[23:18] Speaker 2: Maybe the captain was just, like, a non-parent, so he was, like.
[23:22] Speaker 5: Pulling around.
[23:23] Speaker 2: Yeah, but, like, that poor parent.
[23:26] Speaker 5: Said the child had been standing in their seat.
[23:29] Speaker 4: Yeah, but like this is what I'm saying.
[23:30] Speaker 1: We're saying poor parent here, but at what situation, the
[23:33] Speaker 1: kid does not listening to that parent. How did that
[23:35] Speaker 1: kid get to the point of being that disobedient?
[23:38] Speaker 3: Well, surely they would have, it costs a lot of
[23:40] Speaker 3: money to like turn those flights around, to like not
[23:42] Speaker 3: take off.
[23:43] Speaker 1: And then every, so every single person on that flight
[23:45] Speaker 1: has to have a terrible time now.
[23:47] Speaker 3: But they should have, they should have, I'm sure there
[23:49] Speaker 3: would have been people on the flight being like, can
[23:50] Speaker 3: I have a crack at strapping them in?
[23:52] Speaker 4: Mate, I would have loved to have a crack at that.
[23:54] Speaker 5: Give me a go.
[23:55] Speaker 4: I would have dad voiced the shit out of that.
[23:57] Speaker 2: We love kids on this podcast.
[23:58] Speaker 4: I told you that. So Macy, I like, we were
[24:02] Speaker 4: in these villas, right? In Bali.
[24:04] Speaker 1: And Macy was being real cheeky. And I was like,
[24:06] Speaker 1: it was, it was bedtime. She was standing in a car.
[24:08] Speaker 4: And I was like, Sit down! Like proper. Scared the
[24:12] Speaker 4: shit out of her.
[24:13] Speaker 1: The next day Mike was like, I heard you at
[24:15] Speaker 1: the other end and even my kids sat down.
[24:17] Speaker 2: All the kids in the suburb sat down at once.
[24:21] Speaker 4: Oh, yeah. Mate, I just think that's not on.
[24:24] Speaker 2: I'm sure they must have tried.
[24:26] Speaker 4: I'm sure they must have.
[24:28] Speaker 1: They obviously didn't try hard enough. Like I'm getting a
[24:30] Speaker 1: kid to sit down one way or another.
[24:32] Speaker 5: It reminded me of though, remember how hard it is
[24:34] Speaker 5: to get kids in their seatbelts in the car?
[24:36] Speaker 2: It's like a cat.
[24:38] Speaker 4: Not in my house.
[24:41] Speaker 1: Telling you right now i'm not putting up with that
[24:43] Speaker 1: i'm not putting up with it and i'll get us.
[24:45] Speaker 4: There now my kids put their seatbelts on themselves.
[24:48] Speaker 3: There needs to be like ash wicks at every airport
[24:50] Speaker 3: so if charles won't sit down they're like we'll.
[24:52] Speaker 2: Call the ash yes we'll come on the plane.
[24:54] Speaker 1: I get the resilience i don't want to sit down
[24:55] Speaker 1: but it shouldn't have to cause that many people problems
[24:59] Speaker 1: there's something there that needs to be addressed from the
[25:01] Speaker 1: parent sorry.
[25:03] Speaker 5: I mean, I think the airline's also to blame.
[25:05] Speaker 2: I blame the airline.
[25:05] Speaker 4: What do you mean blame? Let's just sit down. If
[25:08] Speaker 4: they sat down, it would have fixed the problem. Am
[25:10] Speaker 4: I wrong? Why am I the odd one out here?
[25:12] Speaker 2: How dare you? How dare you?
[25:14] Speaker 4: Shut up.
[25:15] Speaker 1: Why am I the odd one out here when it's
[25:17] Speaker 1: like the airline did what they had to do?
[25:20] Speaker 2: Hypothetical. Let's not get hung up on this. But if
[25:23] Speaker 2: the parent was like, I'm getting them sitting down and
[25:25] Speaker 2: the captain's like, no, too dangerous. We're turning it around.
[25:27] Speaker 2: The parent's like, no, no, no, no.
[25:28] Speaker 4: Chill, chill, chill. That's the airline. That's for sure. If
[25:32] Speaker 4: you don't give them enough time, but you're talking about
[25:34] Speaker 4: a kid that's standing on a seat.
[25:36] Speaker 3: I've had that though, where like my kids have like
[25:38] Speaker 3: stood up. Depends how long they were standing up for.
[25:40] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[25:40] Speaker 2: And my kids have been like, fuck the seat belt,
[25:41] Speaker 2: I'm doing my own thing.
[25:42] Speaker 4: Sit down.
[25:43] Speaker 5: So one of the passengers has said the child wasn't
[25:45] Speaker 5: being bratty or uncomfortable, but looked scared. He was hiding
[25:49] Speaker 5: under the seat. If they got forced into being strapped in,
[25:51] Speaker 5: they just kind of slid out underneath. Oh, fuck.
[25:54] Speaker 4: That's clever.
[25:54] Speaker 5: So he was like a little Houdini.
[25:56] Speaker 4: All right. So here we go.
[25:58] Speaker 2: I could have used that.
[25:59] Speaker 4: Detail because there's a difference. No, there's a difference here.
[26:03] Speaker 4: You said the word scared.
[26:05] Speaker 2: Okay.
[26:05] Speaker 1: If the kid is scared and legitimately scared and there's
[26:09] Speaker 1: trauma involved here and turning it around, then I think
[26:12] Speaker 1: like without being there, it's hard to be like comment
[26:15] Speaker 1: on that.
[26:16] Speaker 4: But I don't know.
[26:17] Speaker 5: I reckon this parent hasn't prepared their child enough. You
[26:21] Speaker 5: know how Jen always says, like, if you prepare them, blah, blah, blah,
[26:23] Speaker 5: like they need to know information ahead of time. So
[26:26] Speaker 5: if you had said we're going to go on a
[26:27] Speaker 5: plane and you're going to wear a seatbelt and you're
[26:28] Speaker 5: going to do this and you're going to do that.
[26:29] Speaker 2: Actually, imagine being a kid and being like, where the
[26:31] Speaker 2: fuck are we? And the plane starts shaking.
[26:34] Speaker 4: And you're like, ah!
[26:36] Speaker 2: And all of a sudden you look out the window
[26:37] Speaker 2: and you're in the sky. You're like, oh, I forgot
[26:40] Speaker 2: to tell.
[26:40] Speaker 4: But you didn't wake up then, did you?
[26:41] Speaker 2: I forgot to tell Billy that we're on a plane.
[26:43] Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, by the way, Billy was sitting on a plane.
[26:45] Speaker 1: You know how we walk through an airport, walk past
[26:48] Speaker 1: 2,000 planes, and then walked onto this plane?
[26:50] Speaker 4: We're on a plane now.
[26:51] Speaker 2: I remember that was his first. He'll never fly again.
[26:53] Speaker 1: But you said there that person commented saying they weren't bratty. See,
[26:57] Speaker 1: this is where my head goes. This kid was being
[26:59] Speaker 1: an arsehole. But you're saying they weren't bratty, they were
[27:02] Speaker 1: legitimately scared. In that instance, you're right, they're not prepared enough.
[27:06] Speaker 4: But come on.
[27:07] Speaker 1: Like someone's going to sit the kid down or like
[27:11] Speaker 1: why did.
[27:11] Speaker 4: Everyone else have to change their truck? I think I'm
[27:13] Speaker 4: just getting to it.
[27:13] Speaker 3: What was that duct tape photo you showed the guy
[27:15] Speaker 3: who got.
[27:16] Speaker 4: Apprehended on a flight?
[27:17] Speaker 3: It was literally duct tape. You just need more duct
[27:20] Speaker 3: tape on planes.
[27:20] Speaker 1: I think it might have been a woman that looked
[27:22] Speaker 1: like a man. Speaking of aeroplane trips, Matt, I have
[27:25] Speaker 1: just returned from what was set out to be quite
[27:29] Speaker 1: a nice trip.
[27:30] Speaker 4: Quite an obscure trip for us. No kids.
[27:33] Speaker 2: Sumatra. The tigers.
[27:34] Speaker 4: To Sumatra.
[27:35] Speaker 2: Seeing the tigers.
[27:36] Speaker 4: On a surf trip. It was only going to be
[27:38] Speaker 4: like five days, six days.
[27:40] Speaker 2: Quick trip.
[27:40] Speaker 4: Lovely quick trip.
[27:41] Speaker 2: Little recharge of the batteries.
[27:43] Speaker 1: Flew my parents in to take care of the kids
[27:45] Speaker 1: and April's dad also to take care of the kids.
[27:47] Speaker 1: We set off on our journey. No hiccups to Malaysia first.
[27:51] Speaker 1: Get to Malaysia.
[27:52] Speaker 2: Love Malaysia.
[27:53] Speaker 1: Spend the night in Malaysia. We're flying out to a
[27:55] Speaker 1: place called Medan the next day at 8.30.
[27:57] Speaker 2: Love Medan.
[27:57] Speaker 4: Woke up in the morning. Checked in everything. Flight's delayed
[28:00] Speaker 4: 30 minutes.
[28:01] Speaker 1: No problems.
[28:01] Speaker 2: That's okay.
[28:02] Speaker 4: No big deal.
[28:02] Speaker 2: No big deal.
[28:03] Speaker 4: We did have a connecting flight at the site, but
[28:05] Speaker 4: that's not going to hinder us that delay. Then I
[28:07] Speaker 4: get delayed till 2.30 in the afternoon.
[28:10] Speaker 2: How much more of a delay is that?
[28:11] Speaker 4: Like, what, six hours?
[28:13] Speaker 2: Oh, okay. A little bit worried there.
[28:15] Speaker 4: Would have missed the connecting flight altogether.
[28:17] Speaker 1: Okay.
[28:18] Speaker 4: So I've gone up.
[28:19] Speaker 1: There was another flight that was earlier that wasn't delayed
[28:22] Speaker 1: yet that was 10.30. I said, hey, can you chuck
[28:24] Speaker 1: us on there? I have a connecting flight. I was
[28:26] Speaker 1: the first to the counter. And she said, yeah, there
[28:28] Speaker 1: is actually two spots here.
[28:30] Speaker 4: I was like, great.
[28:31] Speaker 2: Thank heavens.
[28:32] Speaker 4: So we sorted that out. That got delayed to a midday.
[28:34] Speaker 4: Still not as bad as the first flight. A lot
[28:37] Speaker 4: of delays.
[28:37] Speaker 1: But I would have missed the connecting flight until I
[28:41] Speaker 1: spoke to someone, a friend of mine who owns the
[28:43] Speaker 1: surf resort we're going to. He was like, the flight
[28:45] Speaker 1: that you're connected to is delayed every time. He said,
[28:49] Speaker 1: it's Indonesia. It's always going to be delayed. And it
[28:52] Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay. So he's like, there's a good
[28:54] Speaker 1: chance you'll make it, but if not, Unfortunately, there's a date.
[28:57] Speaker 4: They only fly to this.
[28:58] Speaker 1: Island every second day. So I was like, fuck, if
[29:00] Speaker 1: I'm going to miss that, what are my other options?
[29:03] Speaker 1: I booked a Cessna.
[29:04] Speaker 2: You booked it?
[29:05] Speaker 4: Yep, 12 seater.
[29:06] Speaker 5: Honey bags?
[29:07] Speaker 4: No. Wow. I wasn't personally.
[29:09] Speaker 5: It was on private flight.
[29:14] Speaker 4: My private Cessna. It's held together with duct tape.
[29:18] Speaker 2: I love how you had to try to have a
[29:19] Speaker 2: jab at Vic before and now she's like, let's dance, motherfucker.
[29:22] Speaker 1: I know.
[29:23] Speaker 2: Let's go.
[29:23] Speaker 4: Because I don't want to be mean. Oh, bullshit. Anyway,
[29:27] Speaker 4: so I booked this Cessna. It's a 12-seater that goes
[29:29] Speaker 4: the next day. So I was like, sweet, we're covered.
[29:31] Speaker 2: The whole plane or two seats? No, two seats.
[29:34] Speaker 4: Why would I need a whole plane?
[29:35] Speaker 2: You said you booked a Cessna.
[29:36] Speaker 4: Yeah, I booked it.
[29:37] Speaker 1: That's what the type of planes is i didn't know
[29:39] Speaker 1: and it's not through like your typical like you don't
[29:40] Speaker 1: have to yell okay anyway so i booked this cessna
[29:43] Speaker 1: and then we're going to two seats on a cessna
[29:47] Speaker 1: on a 12 seat a cessna okay for god forbid
[29:51] Speaker 1: anyway those planes go down real easy don't they just
[29:54] Speaker 1: i'll never find out So we're going to get on
[29:58] Speaker 1: this first flight.
[29:59] Speaker 4: All of a sudden, all the flights to Medan cancelled.
[30:04] Speaker 2: Sugar.
[30:05] Speaker 4: It's been 30 hours at this point.
[30:07] Speaker 2: Where are you at this point?
[30:08] Speaker 4: I'm still in KL airport. I haven't left. I was
[30:10] Speaker 4: like Tom Hanks in terminal.
[30:13] Speaker 1: That's a good airport, though, if you're going to be
[30:15] Speaker 1: stuck at KL.
[30:16] Speaker 2: Is it?
[30:16] Speaker 4: No.
[30:17] Speaker 5: Yeah, there's lots to do there. I got stuck at
[30:19] Speaker 5: KL airport once, actually.
[30:20] Speaker 4: We must have been in a different part of the airport.
[30:23] Speaker 2: You're like at the bus stop.
[30:24] Speaker 4: There was a Hungry Jacks.
[30:26] Speaker 2: You must have been at like Terminal 4. I don't know.
[30:28] Speaker 2: Terminal 3, there's like an indoor playground.
[30:30] Speaker 4: So we sat there and at this point we're stuck
[30:32] Speaker 4: with two options.
[30:33] Speaker 2: Trying to stay positive.
[30:34] Speaker 1: One option is we stay in KL another night, fly,
[30:37] Speaker 1: then stay in Medina night, get to where we're going,
[30:39] Speaker 1: be able to spend one day, turn around and come
[30:42] Speaker 1: back because The same distance there, this is going to
[30:45] Speaker 1: be a big shock, is the same distance back.
[30:47] Speaker 2: I don't believe it.
[30:48] Speaker 1: So we sort of went, all right, what are we
[30:49] Speaker 1: going to do? Let's pivot and detour. So pivoted, detoured,
[30:53] Speaker 1: ended up in Canggu, lovely little suburb in Bali that's
[30:57] Speaker 1: full of fitness freaks, and matcha, acai, and everyone's talking
[31:01] Speaker 1: about protein. So April was in her element.
[31:03] Speaker 5: I was about to say, April would love it.
[31:04] Speaker 4: April, I've never seen her so happy. I was so disappointed.
[31:08] Speaker 4: And she was like, did you say Canggu? So anyway,
[31:10] Speaker 4: we moved to Canggu now.
[31:12] Speaker 3: You just, can I just say credit to Ash for
[31:15] Speaker 3: pivoting with April in mind, because we could have, you
[31:19] Speaker 3: could have gone to a place in Bali, which would
[31:20] Speaker 3: have been better suited for yourself and surfing.
[31:22] Speaker 1: I could have gone anywhere in Indonesia other than north
[31:24] Speaker 1: because of this volcano. So the volcano went off the
[31:27] Speaker 1: day before.
[31:28] Speaker 4: Great. But there was a lot of ash in the sky.
[31:30] Speaker 1: It's just not worth it. Ash wasn't in the sky.
[31:32] Speaker 1: Ash was still on the ground.
[31:33] Speaker 2: There he is.
[31:34] Speaker 1: Thank you.
[31:35] Speaker 4: So get to Canggu.
[31:36] Speaker 1: 36 hours to get to Bali, which is usually a
[31:40] Speaker 1: five and a half hour flight.
[31:42] Speaker 4: Yeah. Get there. First day, threw my back out. Okay.
[31:47] Speaker 2: How'd you do that? Jagging.
[31:50] Speaker 4: No, it was.
[31:52] Speaker 4: I was surfing.
[31:53] Speaker 5: He's winking.
[31:54] Speaker 4: Followed by a shagging. No, I wasn't. Guys, come on.
[31:56] Speaker 4: This is a family show.
[31:57] Speaker 2: It's not, though.
[32:00] Speaker 4: Anyway, so that's happened. Then April's got barley belly.
[32:04] Speaker 1: Mind you, it took us three days to get to
[32:07] Speaker 1: a holiday that we got to spend one day at
[32:09] Speaker 1: before I was injured and April was spewing her guts up.
[32:12] Speaker 1: So we were pretty much stuck in the hotel room
[32:15] Speaker 1: a whole day. Then we had to fly back home
[32:18] Speaker 1: the next day. We're like, all right, we had one
[32:21] Speaker 1: flight that I used for points on the way home
[32:23] Speaker 1: from Jakarta that we kept that was business class.
[32:26] Speaker 4: Cause I was like, we're treating ourselves with it. I've
[32:28] Speaker 4: earned all these points for Qantas.
[32:29] Speaker 1: We're flying all the way to Jakarta to then fly home,
[32:32] Speaker 1: to enjoy this.
[32:33] Speaker 4: Both flights on the way to the airport canceled.
[32:37] Speaker 1: Oh no, wait, one was delayed 24 hours and I
[32:39] Speaker 1: had to get back for Canberra for the Canberra thing.
[32:42] Speaker 4: So at this point.
[32:43] Speaker 1: I've spent four days in airports and one day in
[32:47] Speaker 1: a hotel room where April's spewing up every hour and
[32:50] Speaker 1: I was flat on my back and one day where
[32:52] Speaker 1: we actually had lunch with someone and I got to
[32:54] Speaker 1: surf in on this trip all to just land back
[32:58] Speaker 1: in Australia on no sleep.
[33:01] Speaker 2: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
[33:02] Speaker 4: Now, don't get me wrong.
[33:04] Speaker 1: I'm very thankful with the position that I've been able
[33:06] Speaker 1: to have these holidays.
[33:08] Speaker 2: Goes without saying.
[33:09] Speaker 1: And I put the spin on it to go to
[33:12] Speaker 1: Canggu to try and make it better.
[33:13] Speaker 4: But it was just.
[33:14] Speaker 1: One of those trips that was destined to fail from
[33:17] Speaker 1: the outset, which sucks so bad.
[33:19] Speaker 3: At least the bar is low. So the next trip
[33:22] Speaker 3: you take is going to be a great one.
[33:24] Speaker 4: I've never had so many flight issues.
[33:26] Speaker 1: Not one flight. No, one flight that we booked we got,
[33:28] Speaker 1: which was the first flight. The rest of them were
[33:31] Speaker 1: flights that I booked minutes before getting on it.
[33:33] Speaker 4: And it was like, what the fuck is in the air?
[33:35] Speaker 4: Do you know what?
[33:36] Speaker 2: That Cessna could have been going down. So right now.
[33:38] Speaker 4: No, they made it successfully.
[33:41] Speaker 2: Damn it.
[33:41] Speaker 4: The airline called me. They're like, were you on the plane?
[33:45] Speaker 4: Did we lose two passengers before? I was like, no,
[33:48] Speaker 4: I cancelled it. And they're like, oh, yeah, okay, yeah.
[33:51] Speaker 2: At least you weren't with the kids. That's the silver
[33:55] Speaker 2: lining here.
[33:56] Speaker 4: And that's the thing.
[33:56] Speaker 1: When it was all going down, I thought there's families
[33:59] Speaker 1: out here this happens to.
[34:00] Speaker 2: Imagine if you were the kids.
[34:02] Speaker 4: Dude, I remember one time.
[34:03] Speaker 1: April and I before having kids were at the airport
[34:05] Speaker 1: flying to my parents' house on the day before Christmas Eve,
[34:08] Speaker 1: so the 23rd, and they cancelled our flight.
[34:11] Speaker 4: And April was like, oh, how painful. And then I
[34:13] Speaker 4: look over. And there's families everywhere.
[34:16] Speaker 1: And both April and I in that instant were like, look,
[34:19] Speaker 1: it could be so much worse. So in this instance,
[34:21] Speaker 1: we were like, this could be so much worse, but
[34:25] Speaker 1: it's not.
[34:25] Speaker 4: So suck it up. I had a rant. And once
[34:28] Speaker 4: I had the rant, I felt better about it.
[34:29] Speaker 2: And also like you had sex. Yes, it threw you
[34:32] Speaker 2: back out.
[34:33] Speaker 4: It threw my back out.
[34:34] Speaker 1: And then the rest of the sex trip was ruined
[34:36] Speaker 1: by Barley Belly.
[34:38] Speaker 5: How did she get barley belly?
[34:39] Speaker 4: I don't know. I've never had barley belly.
[34:41] Speaker 1: And I feel sorry for her because she's the most
[34:43] Speaker 1: conscious about it. I'm out here fucking gargling the water
[34:46] Speaker 1: and she's just like goes past like a piece of
[34:48] Speaker 1: water and she's like.
[34:49] Speaker 5: I saw you were trying to teach her to dive.
[34:53] Speaker 4: Yes.
[34:53] Speaker 5: I mean, that's a fun part.
[34:55] Speaker 2: That's like a great part.
[34:57] Speaker 4: I actually wasn't trying to teach her. I walked out
[34:58] Speaker 4: of the hotel room and there she was. She was like, well,
[35:01] Speaker 4: the pool was empty. I thought it was chance. Poor thing.
[35:05] Speaker 4: And it took me so long.
[35:05] Speaker 1: To convince her to let me post that video because
[35:08] Speaker 1: the first one I actually snuck up on her.
[35:10] Speaker 2: Everyone's like, what a rig.
[35:11] Speaker 4: Yeah, she looks great.
[35:13] Speaker 2: The fans are loving it.
[35:13] Speaker 4: She looks unbelievable.
[35:14] Speaker 5: She's making us all look bad.
[35:15] Speaker 4: Yeah. She does work hard for it though.
[35:17] Speaker 1: She deserves it.
[35:18] Speaker 2: She deserves it.
[35:19] Speaker 1: I don't.
[35:21] Speaker 2: Just really quickly, two very quick stories. If I may,
[35:23] Speaker 2: before we go.
[35:24] Speaker 3: Marley loses a bloody water bottle.
[35:26] Speaker 2: Loses everything, to be honest.
[35:27] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[35:28] Speaker 2: Just like jumpers, hats.
[35:29] Speaker 4: Kids are shit. I like that.
[35:31] Speaker 3: I'm like, where's your lunchbox? And she's like, how the
[35:33] Speaker 3: fuck would I know? And I'm like, you brought it
[35:35] Speaker 3: to school. And she's like, what's all the questions, man?
[35:37] Speaker 4: Don't accuse me. You packed it.
[35:40] Speaker 2: We had library this morning. I was like, where are
[35:42] Speaker 2: your library books? And she was like.
[35:44] Speaker 4: That's the library.
[35:45] Speaker 2: I don't know.
[35:46] Speaker 3: She's like, I told you they're on the stairs.
[35:48] Speaker 4: And I was like.
[35:49] Speaker 2: When? And she's like, I don't know, the other day.
[35:51] Speaker 2: And I'm like, just loses everything.
[35:54] Speaker 4: She's just useless.
[35:55] Speaker 3: So anyway, keeps losing water bottles. I go to the
[35:58] Speaker 3: pharmacy to get some medicine.
[36:00] Speaker 2: What do I see there?
[36:01] Speaker 4: Water bottle.
[36:02] Speaker 2: A water bottle. And I think to myself, you know
[36:04] Speaker 2: what I'm going to do?
[36:05] Speaker 3: I'm going to get Marley a brand new water bottle
[36:06] Speaker 3: because she likes to have a water bottle. She loves
[36:08] Speaker 3: being in possession of a water bottle, even though.
[36:10] Speaker 2: It's not for long.
[36:11] Speaker 1: Did you get someone else a water bottle too?
[36:13] Speaker 2: The whole family.
[36:14] Speaker 4: Oh! Lola. Lola.
[36:17] Speaker 2: I bought Marley and Lola.
[36:18] Speaker 4: That's great. I thought I was going to catch you
[36:20] Speaker 4: out there, but you've got me. You're one step ahead.
[36:22] Speaker 2: Can I show you the water bottle?
[36:23] Speaker 4: Yes, please.
[36:24] Speaker 2: What is the issue with this? Okay.
[36:28] Speaker 4: Am I allowed to touch it?
[36:29] Speaker 2: Please, touch away.
[36:30] Speaker 4: Okay, so it's a pink Tinkerbell fairy looking. It's actually
[36:33] Speaker 4: a beautiful little solid.
[36:35] Speaker 2: It's a camelback, I believe.
[36:37] Speaker 4: Food grade stainless steel.
[36:39] Speaker 2: Thank you. Nothing but the best in my family.
[36:40] Speaker 4: There's only water in it.
[36:41] Speaker 1: You don't have food in there.
[36:43] Speaker 4: I suppose you could put soup in there.
[36:44] Speaker 2: Smoothie.
[36:45] Speaker 4: Smoothie, BPA free, insulated. Now I'm trying to figure out
[36:48] Speaker 4: what's wrong with it. It's got a nice handle.
[36:49] Speaker 2: Great handle. Little flick top.
[36:51] Speaker 4: It's a sipper, not a tipper. Mm-hmm, sipper. Okay.
[36:55] Speaker 1: Looking for something that's wrong with it.
[36:56] Speaker 2: So I bring this home. I put it on the
[36:58] Speaker 2: table and I'm like waiting for, oh, my God, Dad,
[37:00] Speaker 2: you're so amazing.
[37:01] Speaker 5: This is why you're Dad of the Year.
[37:02] Speaker 2: Yeah. And she's like, what is this? And I'm like,
[37:05] Speaker 2: it's a new water bottle. And she's like.
[37:07] Speaker 1: Oh, no.
[37:08] Speaker 2: For God's sake. For God's sake.
[37:11] Speaker 4: One job. This guy only has one job and it's
[37:14] Speaker 4: to look after me.
[37:15] Speaker 2: And I'm like, what's the problem? And she's like, fairies?
[37:18] Speaker 3: How old do you think I am?
[37:21] Speaker 4: Seven.
[37:23] Speaker 2: This is embarrassing. What? And I was like, what do
[37:26] Speaker 2: you mean it's embarrassing? I was like, but it's beautiful.
[37:28] Speaker 2: It's pink and it's fairies and fairies are different colours.
[37:30] Speaker 2: There's a blue one, there's a green one, there's a
[37:31] Speaker 2: yellow one. And she's like, I'm not a fucking child.
[37:34] Speaker 2: I'm not a baby.
[37:34] Speaker 4: You're seven. I don't want to be laughed at at school.
[37:37] Speaker 5: Oh, you've gone into embarrassing dad phase. Already?
[37:40] Speaker 4: It's too early. so it's too early for you to be.
[37:43] Speaker 2: That fairies are out fairies are out she's like you
[37:45] Speaker 2: got anything with lipstick.
[37:46] Speaker 5: I bet she likes the tooth fairy yes get her.
[37:49] Speaker 4: On that it's like if you think fairies are out
[37:50] Speaker 4: that means the tooth fairy's not coming anymore that's.
[37:52] Speaker 2: Why you didn't win your speech.
[37:56] Speaker 1: You need to believe the fairies okay oh my god
[38:00] Speaker 1: we're at the stage now where my daughter's like she
[38:02] Speaker 1: doesn't want fairies and i'm like shit So she thinks
[38:05] Speaker 1: she's growing up too fast.
[38:07] Speaker 2: And I was like, you will fucking enjoy these fairies
[38:09] Speaker 2: and drink your water.
[38:09] Speaker 5: Did Lola like it?
[38:11] Speaker 2: Loved it.
[38:12] Speaker 4: Now she's got two drink bottles, hasn't she?
[38:15] Speaker 1: It's like where I get like, I get that people
[38:18] Speaker 1: grow out of phases and stuff like that.
[38:20] Speaker 4: She's not like that far past fairy stages. Well, she's not.
[38:23] Speaker 4: I wouldn't even think she would be.
[38:24] Speaker 2: And I'm like.
[38:26] Speaker 4: Oscar loves fairies.
[38:27] Speaker 2: Relax, bro. I was like, you're seven. Exactly.
[38:29] Speaker 4: What did you want on her?
[38:30] Speaker 5: She's very mature.
[38:31] Speaker 2: Very mature.
[38:31] Speaker 4: She just wants it bare bones, like plain.
[38:35] Speaker 2: Yeah, literally.
[38:36] Speaker 5: We have plain ones and then they can decorate them
[38:37] Speaker 5: with stickers.
[38:38] Speaker 2: There you go. That's what I should have done.
[38:39] Speaker 4: As long as they're not fairy stickers. Yeah. You should
[38:41] Speaker 4: troll her now with fairies.
[38:43] Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like.
[38:43] Speaker 4: Just fairy stickers everywhere.
[38:45] Speaker 1: You know, you're going to pat her on the back
[38:47] Speaker 1: and put a fairy sticker on her.
[38:47] Speaker 5: Tell her she's offended the fairies.
[38:50] Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Psychological damage.
[38:51] Speaker 5: Love it.
[38:52] Speaker 4: Let's produce some trauma.
[38:53] Speaker 3: Also, really quickly, before we go, before we go, if
[38:56] Speaker 3: I may, if I may, Ash, not to put you
[38:58] Speaker 3: on the spot here, doesn't Oscar do.
[39:00] Speaker 2: Spelling at school?
[39:02] Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen it being part of his homework, so
[39:04] Speaker 4: I'm assuming that.
[39:05] Speaker 2: It happens.
[39:06] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[39:07] Speaker 2: We have a spelling list.
[39:08] Speaker 4: What's a spelling list?
[39:09] Speaker 2: So the kids.
[39:10] Speaker 3: On a Tuesday get a list of words, like say
[39:14] Speaker 3: 10 words. They have to then kind of learn those
[39:16] Speaker 3: 10 words for the week. The following Monday, Tuesday, they
[39:19] Speaker 3: do a spelling test. And it's just like, you know,
[39:21] Speaker 3: there's nothing, you're not playing for anything. It's just they
[39:24] Speaker 3: do a spelling test once a week.
[39:25] Speaker 4: That's clever.
[39:26] Speaker 3: And quite often, because the kids, Marley often, they lose
[39:30] Speaker 3: the spelling sheet. And so the parents in the group
[39:32] Speaker 3: are always like, hey, does anyone have this week's spelling words?
[39:36] Speaker 1: The pressure that school puts on parents is unbelievable.
[39:39] Speaker 2: It's too much.
[39:40] Speaker 4: Someone said the other day, like, You don't really.
[39:43] Speaker 1: Finish school for like 36 years because you send your
[39:46] Speaker 1: kid and you pretty much do all the fun.
[39:48] Speaker 2: And we're grade one and I'm already struggling with the homework.
[39:50] Speaker 2: God help me when it's high school.
[39:51] Speaker 4: Boarding schools sound pretty good.
[39:54] Speaker 3: Well, so we've got the spelling words. Tell me, again,
[39:58] Speaker 3: put you on the spot. Tell me if you can
[40:00] Speaker 3: see what is wrong with this list of words.
[40:04] Speaker 1: Soft G, giant, general, fragile, magic, spelling, morphology.
[40:09] Speaker 4: What the fuck does that mean?
[40:11] Speaker 1: Suffix ship, friendship, membership, citizenship, partnership, super speller, extension, championship, generosusus.
[40:19] Speaker 1: Someone spelled something wrong on the spelling sheet.
[40:22] Speaker 4: If I'm not mistaken, and let me get this out.
[40:24] Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken, and I'm going to be very
[40:26] Speaker 1: accusatory right here. A teacher has got a spelling mistake
[40:31] Speaker 1: wrong on the homework spelling sheet.
[40:35] Speaker 4: Guilty. We've got one of them. Let's get her.
[40:37] Speaker 5: Poor teacher.
[40:40] Speaker 2: I looked at it and I was like, I was
[40:42] Speaker 2: too nervous to say.
[40:43] Speaker 4: Justice for all.
[40:44] Speaker 3: I was too nervous to say anything.
[40:47] Speaker 2: I was like, ah, in my head, I was like,
[40:49] Speaker 2: pretty sure generous is spelt wrong there because I spelt it.
[40:52] Speaker 4: How many times did you triple check?
[40:53] Speaker 2: And I was like.
[40:54] Speaker 4: How many times did you triple check?
[40:55] Speaker 2: And I was going to message me like.
[40:56] Speaker 3: To my eyes?
[40:57] Speaker 2: And then another parent was like, pretty sure generous is
[41:00] Speaker 2: spelled wrong.
[41:00] Speaker 4: ChatGBT, how to spell generous.
[41:02] Speaker 2: I know. And then all the parents were like, let's
[41:06] Speaker 2: get the teacher.
[41:08] Speaker 4: I'm going, this is justice. This is one for us.
[41:10] Speaker 2: We marched to the school with pitchforks being like, death
[41:13] Speaker 2: to the teacher.
[41:14] Speaker 4: We should get T-shirts that say, this is not how
[41:16] Speaker 4: to spell generous.
[41:17] Speaker 5: How did they spell it?
[41:18] Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked.
[41:20] Speaker 4: Spell it out to us, guys. How would you spell generous?
[41:23] Speaker 2: You are very smart.
[41:26] Speaker 5: G-E-N-E-R-O-U-S.
[41:28] Speaker 4: Correct. In the newsreader voice too. So double points.
[41:31] Speaker 1: Well done.
[41:31] Speaker 2: G-E-N-R-E-R-O-U-S.
[41:35] Speaker 4: Genrevers.
[41:36] Speaker 2: Typo. Typo. No.
[41:37] Speaker 5: No?
[41:38] Speaker 4: Don't you dare.
[41:39] Speaker 2: Teachers, we got her fired. We got her fired.
[41:41] Speaker 4: Now you're going to be like, oh, that was Jen,
[41:43] Speaker 4: the rest of you?
[41:44] Speaker 3: We all collectively petitioned to get her removed from the school.
[41:47] Speaker 3: Might have had something to do with the fact that
[41:48] Speaker 3: she didn't pick Miley for the speaking competition.
[41:50] Speaker 4: You think it's a Movember petition you're signing, but it's not.
[41:55] Speaker 1: That's, yeah, look, what I would do if I was
[41:58] Speaker 1: you and I'm this sort of petty is next time
[42:00] Speaker 1: you get the opportunity to drop the word Jen in
[42:02] Speaker 1: a sentence with this teacher.
[42:04] Speaker 5: It's so generous.
[42:05] Speaker 4: They say, this is so generous of you. She's like,
[42:07] Speaker 4: I think Matt's.
[42:08] Speaker 2: Having a stroke.
[42:09] Speaker 4: And I'm like, that'll learn you. Yeah, see, this is
[42:12] Speaker 4: so generous of you.
[42:14] Speaker 1: Should have picked Marley.
[42:16] Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like when your parents.
[42:18] Speaker 4: How can you trust her to pick a winner of
[42:20] Speaker 4: a speech?
[42:21] Speaker 2: If she can't even spell.
[42:22] Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not very generous of her, is it?
[42:25] Speaker 2: Wow. We're making sure these teachers are held accountable. Don't
[42:28] Speaker 2: you worry.
[42:28] Speaker 4: But also we thank you for all the work you do.
[42:30] Speaker 2: Amazing. It's the system.
[42:32] Speaker 4: It's the system we're really going after.
[42:33] Speaker 2: Backbone of society.
[42:34] Speaker 4: It's the system we're really going after.
[42:36] Speaker 1: Are we going with typo just to save our kids
[42:38] Speaker 1: from being kicked out of their school?
[42:39] Speaker 4: Yeah. Okay, cool.
[42:41] Speaker 1: Yeah, finally, before we do go, this time is for real.
[42:43] Speaker 1: We keep teasing that we're leaving. My wife has.
[42:47] Speaker 2: My wife.
[42:47] Speaker 5: My wife.
[42:49] Speaker 4: My wife.
[42:50] Speaker 1: April is, she actually hates it when I just call
[42:53] Speaker 1: her my wife.
[42:53] Speaker 4: So my wife, my beautiful wife, April.
[42:55] Speaker 2: Well said.
[42:56] Speaker 1: Her word, my wife. She has started a casual social
[43:01] Speaker 1: sports team with a bunch of other mums.
[43:04] Speaker 2: Which I think is great.
[43:05] Speaker 5: What's the sport?
[43:06] Speaker 4: It is touch football.
[43:07] Speaker 1: She didn't realise how fast paced it is.
[43:10] Speaker 4: So she's working on stamina.
[43:12] Speaker 2: Stamina.
[43:13] Speaker 4: But also as well, April is so competitive. Unbelievable.
[43:17] Speaker 2: She's a good runner.
[43:18] Speaker 4: She's a great runner.
[43:20] Speaker 1: She had a punch-on with my best friend over beer
[43:22] Speaker 1: pong once, and she said to me last night, she said,
[43:25] Speaker 1: I'm not competitive. I'm like, mate, I had to pry
[43:27] Speaker 1: you off this poor man because you were just beating
[43:29] Speaker 1: the shit out of him.
[43:30] Speaker 4: But she had her first training last night.
[43:32] Speaker 2: How'd she go?
[43:33] Speaker 4: Great. A few names were tossed out for the team,
[43:36] Speaker 4: and they landed on the Ageless.
[43:38] Speaker 1: Athletes, which I think is pretty cool.
[43:40] Speaker 4: She didn't want to be vulgar. I was like, be
[43:42] Speaker 4: more vulgar. Like, don't touch this.
[43:43] Speaker 2: Careful.
[43:44] Speaker 5: Yeah.
[43:45] Speaker 2: Actually, don't touch it. That's great.
[43:46] Speaker 1: Very good.
[43:47] Speaker 2: Right? I like that. I was worried for a second.
[43:49] Speaker 5: I was like.
[43:50] Speaker 4: What was I going to say?
[43:51] Speaker 2: I was like, Vic just.
[43:52] Speaker 4: Yeah. So she's super excited. Also, she was like really nervous.
[43:58] Speaker 1: Then last night she had her first training. They were
[44:00] Speaker 1: doing like all the drills and stuff like that. They
[44:02] Speaker 1: played against.
[44:03] Speaker 4: She scored a try at the end. She came home,
[44:04] Speaker 4: she was pumped.
[44:05] Speaker 2: She's got to try.
[44:06] Speaker 4: She's got to try in the training match.
[44:07] Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
[44:10] Speaker 4: Whoa.
[44:11] Speaker 5: Sorry.
[44:11] Speaker 4: Hang on a sec. Let's digest this. Hang on. Vic
[44:15] Speaker 4: got real sad. Are you upset that you didn't get
[44:17] Speaker 4: invited to the touch team?
[44:18] Speaker 1: No.
[44:18] Speaker 4: Because you know who's in there?
[44:20] Speaker 1: Brooke.
[44:21] Speaker 4: Brooke Hammond is part of the team. She'd be so good.
[44:24] Speaker 4: She's a gun. She's very good. She is an athlete.
[44:26] Speaker 4: She is an athlete. I'm not very good.
[44:28] Speaker 5: I would bring the team down.
[44:30] Speaker 4: I would say none of them are very good. Ooh.
[44:32] Speaker 5: Can I ask, is it a mixed comp?
[44:34] Speaker 4: No.
[44:35] Speaker 2: Just girls. Just the gals.
[44:36] Speaker 5: Because that's dangerous.
[44:37] Speaker 4: So we're going to get down there. I may or
[44:39] Speaker 4: may not have offered to sponsor the team.
[44:41] Speaker 2: What are they asking?
[44:42] Speaker 4: Nah, nothing, nothing, nothing. I'll give them some T-shirts. But anyway,
[44:45] Speaker 4: I'm going to go to the first game.
[44:47] Speaker 2: When is the game?
[44:48] Speaker 4: They start next Monday.
[44:50] Speaker 1: Oh what a night yeah i mean she's got out
[44:54] Speaker 1: of bath and bed routine that's.
[44:56] Speaker 3: Great but what was her goal because she said she
[44:59] Speaker 3: wanted to challenge herself what did she say again i
[45:01] Speaker 3: can't remember i think when i was at your place
[45:03] Speaker 3: and she was like i just wanted to like push
[45:05] Speaker 3: myself and put myself out of my comfort zone and
[45:07] Speaker 3: i'm like that's fucking great it's pretty good it's great
[45:09] Speaker 3: because when you get to like your late 30s she's
[45:12] Speaker 3: mid 30s sorry i apologize.
[45:13] Speaker 1: I tell you who's real proud of her So she
[45:18] Speaker 1: got home.
[45:19] Speaker 4: The kids were in bed when she got home, but
[45:20] Speaker 4: they're awake. They'd just gone into bed.
[45:22] Speaker 1: And Oscar's got to see out his door. He's got
[45:24] Speaker 1: to go to the bottom end of the bunk and
[45:27] Speaker 1: look out.
[45:28] Speaker 4: And April sat down and he was like, what number
[45:30] Speaker 4: are you? And she's like, we don't have any numbers.
[45:34] Speaker 4: Did you score? Did you do this? Who was there?
[45:38] Speaker 4: Like just so into it, which is great.
[45:40] Speaker 1: Yeah. And she was like, I kept rolling my ankles.
[45:43] Speaker 1: So this week I'm going to go and I'll try.
[45:45] Speaker 4: And get some content.
[45:46] Speaker 2: Paper up. Rolling Wrangles?
[45:47] Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no. She needs boots. She needs
[45:49] Speaker 4: proper boots because it's nighttime on grass.
[45:51] Speaker 2: She didn't wear boots on the train.
[45:52] Speaker 1: Well, it was just the first initial training, and she
[45:54] Speaker 1: knew that she needed boots, but she was like, oh,
[45:55] Speaker 1: we'll get some. So this week I'm going to go
[45:57] Speaker 1: boot fitting with her.
[45:57] Speaker 4: Oh, she was like, just wear dad's. I'm like, she
[46:00] Speaker 4: looks like a fucking clown. She's like, wear mine. I
[46:02] Speaker 4: was like, no one can fit into yours. She didn't
[46:04] Speaker 4: quite understand. Guys, that is adorable. So I'm going to
[46:06] Speaker 4: update you, see how they're going. So there's a season.
[46:09] Speaker 4: We'll keep close tabs on that. I'll give you the-
[46:11] Speaker 4: What are they called?
[46:11] Speaker 2: The Ageless Beauties?
[46:12] Speaker 4: The Ageless- What are they called?
[46:14] Speaker 2: The Mervs.
[46:15] Speaker 4: No, the Ageless Athletes. The Ageless Athletes.
[46:19] Speaker 2: It's hard. It doesn't roll off the tongue. It doesn't.
[46:23] Speaker 2: It doesn't. The Ageless Athletes.
[46:24] Speaker 5: It makes me think of old people weirdly.
[46:26] Speaker 2: Yeah, the geriatrics.
[46:27] Speaker 4: The geriatrics.
[46:29] Speaker 5: We're so good we're ageless.
[46:31] Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I don't know.
[46:32] Speaker 2: Yeah.
[46:32] Speaker 4: We'll keep you updated.
[46:34] Speaker 1: Please.
[46:34] Speaker 4: But I'm super proud of her.
[46:35] Speaker 2: Super proud. As am I. Well done, April. And if
[46:38] Speaker 2: you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you
[46:40] Speaker 2: gave us a review. Subscribe. Talk to us.
[46:44] Speaker 4: Please. Humor us.
[46:45] Speaker 2: Say something.
[46:46] Speaker 4: Yes, or you can join us on socials. Tutoring Dads, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.
[46:50] Speaker 4: He's thriving. Come and join the chat. And YouTube. Not
[46:55] Speaker 4: thriving so much. But hello, one user that listens to
[46:57] Speaker 4: us on YouTube.
[46:58] Speaker 5: The YouTubers have really come out of the woodwork on
[47:00] Speaker 5: the Facebook page.
[47:01] Speaker 2: Do you know what?
[47:02] Speaker 3: There is nothing that makes people arc up more than
[47:05] Speaker 3: the fear of it being taken away.
[47:06] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[47:07] Speaker 2: Not that it was strategic.
[47:08] Speaker 4: We will take this podcast away completely.
[47:10] Speaker 2: Unless you leave a review.
[47:11] Speaker 4: Unless you review.
[47:13] Speaker 2: Well done.
[47:14] Speaker 4: Well done. Sign the petition. Next week is Choc, our
[47:17] Speaker 4: friend Choc. This is Choc Chats.
[47:18] Speaker 1: His name is Jake.
[47:19] Speaker 4: So that'll be coming out on Monday, so tune in
[47:21] Speaker 4: for that.
[47:22] Speaker 2: Love that. And we'll get out of here.
[47:24] Speaker 4: I've got a sore throat now from talking.
[47:25] Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, bye.
[47:26] Speaker 4: Bye.
[47:37] Speaker 3: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
[47:41] Speaker 3: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
[47:45] Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders, past and present,
[47:47] Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
[47:50] Speaker 1: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.

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