# #253 We Almost Burnt The House Down

An episode of [Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash](https://invisiblenetwork.ai/podcast/1684076859), 18 Aug 2026, 57 min.

Audio: https://p.podderapp.com/2544644999/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/2fb3740d-3436-44af-8cc0-a91900716aa5/16e204f8-7e20-441d-9775-b47f001b3998/10da0ce5-0d36-4992-a918-b4a900b61c17/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=cc3ed8c4-97c9-4810-ace6-b47f001b3db5

This week, April leaves town and Ash quickly discovers how much she's holding the family operation together after the kids come dangerously close to burning the house down. The guys admit they both use a questionable tactic to get the kids on side - in fact it could even be a parenting hack to use whenever things get desperate. Meanwhile, Matt's battling parent guilt after his day alone with Poppy somehow turned into a struggle just to leave the house. Plus, the guys declare war on ice packs. When did they become the cure for every minor inconvenience? And more of your brilliant parenting lies, thanks to OMO. Because life with kids is messy enough already. You can grab a copy of Ash's new book The Secret Ingredient here. ______________________________________________________________________________ If you need a shoulder to cry on: Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

## Transcript

[0:00] Speaker 1: How often would you say that you've accidentally hurt your child.
[0:05] Speaker 1: I do this thing with Lola. I have to show you.
[0:08] Speaker 2: But I hold her and I swing in front of me,
[0:12] Speaker 2: two hands in front of me, and I swing it
[0:13] Speaker 2: to the left and I let go kind of like
[0:17] Speaker 2: so my right hand pushes down on.
[0:19] Speaker 1: Her leg and then she spins around my arm or
[0:22] Speaker 1: like a flip, like a flip, and she's holding on
[0:25] Speaker 1: like that.
[0:25] Speaker 2: No, she's more so just like so like my arm
[0:27] Speaker 2: is like under her arm pitched okay, and so she
[0:30] Speaker 2: like rotates around my hand.
[0:32] Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's a bit, it's dangerous.
[0:35] Speaker 2: There's been a couple of times where I've almost dropped
[0:38] Speaker 2: her on her head.
[0:39] Speaker 1: Oh god, even she's a bit like I accidentally punched
[0:42] Speaker 1: Oscar in the face accident. Yes, it was a pure accident.
[0:46] Speaker 2: I do want to make sure Oscar's okay. But first,
[1:05] Speaker 2: welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay
[1:07] Speaker 2: and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting.
[1:09] Speaker 1: It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
[1:12] Speaker 2: And you would never ever ever hear us do one
[1:15] Speaker 2: thing on this earth, and that is give advice.
[1:17] Speaker 1: Yes, yes, because Ash is about to tell us how
[1:19] Speaker 1: he punches Todd. What happened? Ah, he's obsessed with footy,
[1:26] Speaker 1: as you know, obsessed. So he what he does is
[1:29] Speaker 1: he runs from his bedroom and jumps, and being that small,
[1:32] Speaker 1: it's actually really fun, jumps onto the couch head first
[1:35] Speaker 1: with a ball, preferably like he's scoring a try. Okay,
[1:38] Speaker 1: like he's Topu Coola. In other words, he's lord and
[1:41] Speaker 1: savior for people not familiar. Winger for manly. Yeah, he's
[1:44] Speaker 1: the center for manly and his Oscar's favorite person on earth.
[1:47] Speaker 1: He goes Topu cola me anyway, So he was doing
[1:52] Speaker 1: that and I sat down where he would usually run
[1:55] Speaker 1: from the other room, and I moved the pillow that
[1:57] Speaker 1: was there, and I sat where the pillow was, and
[1:59] Speaker 1: I saw him coming and I was like, oh, and
[2:02] Speaker 1: he seen me aimed up for the pillow here, but
[2:04] Speaker 1: I didn't know he was aimed for the pillow. I
[2:06] Speaker 1: grabbed the pillow to move it so that he could
[2:08] Speaker 1: fall onto the couch, perfectly, trying to help him, trying
[2:11] Speaker 1: to help the guy out. So I've got a you picture,
[2:13] Speaker 1: my hand, a handful of pillow, perfect timing. He's dived
[2:16] Speaker 1: headfirst into my fist. Can't make this shit up straight
[2:20] Speaker 1: into my fist? When did you get him with the
[2:22] Speaker 1: chin on the cheek, straight in the eye? Good? And
[2:25] Speaker 1: then I was like it startled him and then he
[2:29] Speaker 1: was like I wasn't sure what to do and I
[2:33] Speaker 1: wasn't sure what to do, and April was like, I
[2:35] Speaker 1: witnessed it. It's fine. It was an accident, just in
[2:37] Speaker 1: case he goes to school with a black eye or
[2:40] Speaker 1: something and if anyone from school's listening, you see hit
[2:43] Speaker 1: the poor kid's eye was an accident, swollen, thankfully, it
[2:47] Speaker 1: had like a little bruise here for a beer, but
[2:50] Speaker 1: not enough to be ice pack yeah, oh yeah, and
[2:53] Speaker 1: a band aid.
[2:55] Speaker 2: Can I just quickly shiit on ice packs for a second?
[2:58] Speaker 2: They melt just kids want them so badly until they.
[3:04] Speaker 1: Have them and they realize they're cold.
[3:06] Speaker 2: Yeah, like any injury, Like I did the rough play
[3:09] Speaker 2: with the kids, and every now and then, you know,
[3:11] Speaker 2: like just touch a kid strail.
[3:15] Speaker 1: We're all human. They forget that. I'm like nearly one
[3:17] Speaker 1: hundred cakes. If I roll on one of these kids
[3:20] Speaker 1: good night. Like there's times where I'm like I go
[3:24] Speaker 1: to roll over and I hear this kid oh, mate,
[3:27] Speaker 1: you need to make way for me, like the whale
[3:32] Speaker 1: from what's that movie the Shark's tail, Sharks Tail. Anyway,
[3:36] Speaker 1: He's fine, h I A or good ice packs?
[3:40] Speaker 2: Fucking hell, you don't want an ice pack? And they're like,
[3:43] Speaker 2: you give me the ice pack and they're like yeah,
[3:45] Speaker 2: they're like.
[3:46] Speaker 1: D't I'm cold, No ship, you got a block of ice,
[3:49] Speaker 1: like on something that doesn't need a block of ice. Anyway,
[3:53] Speaker 1: it is, Matt. I don't know if you're aware of this.
[3:56] Speaker 1: It's the most important day of the year every four years,
[3:58] Speaker 1: like the Olympics to all things come in four years
[4:01] Speaker 1: apparently Olympics, World Cups, Census, ah fuck, I know, and
[4:07] Speaker 1: arguably this is the least entertaining of them. April surely
[4:10] Speaker 1: would have done it.
[4:11] Speaker 3: Yeah, oh that's not comfortable.
[4:14] Speaker 1: Just for the listeners out there, if you're hearing this,
[4:17] Speaker 1: it's too late. You've missed. We're so sorry. Sorry, we
[4:20] Speaker 1: should have done it last week.
[4:21] Speaker 2: As a reminder, I I mean, it's not getting done
[4:24] Speaker 2: in my household. I got the letter and the letter
[4:26] Speaker 2: went into the pile of like the abyss.
[4:28] Speaker 1: The family file, Yeah yeah, yeah, underneath the fruit ball
[4:32] Speaker 1: whenever there and it was just like.
[4:34] Speaker 3: The Land of the Forgotten.
[4:35] Speaker 1: It was like, hell, there are so many fines in
[4:37] Speaker 1: that thing, but I hired them onnder things away. It
[4:39] Speaker 1: doesn't see them. She's just like, doesn't go that far
[4:42] Speaker 1: into the pile, but censors on the top. Beau. Apparently
[4:45] Speaker 1: it's so fucking important.
[4:46] Speaker 2: Nana was like, we must do the census, and we're like,
[4:49] Speaker 2: shut up, Nana.
[4:49] Speaker 1: Don't they have enough information on us? Yeah? What more
[4:52] Speaker 1: do you want? I've got it all. Surely, surely you're.
[4:54] Speaker 3: All tapping into our phones anyway.
[4:55] Speaker 1: But there's like the examples of questions, what have I
[4:58] Speaker 1: even ask.
[4:58] Speaker 3: I don't know where we got VIC.
[5:00] Speaker 4: So there's gender ancestry, long term health conditions, job, Australian
[5:03] Speaker 4: Defense for Sexual orientation and job.
[5:10] Speaker 5: So I actually saw a.
[5:11] Speaker 4: Reel on this yesterday, and you've got to be really
[5:12] Speaker 4: specific about your job, especially if you work in the
[5:15] Speaker 4: arts and entertainment.
[5:15] Speaker 1: I don't want you to know anything more about me there.
[5:18] Speaker 5: I think it has to do with funding, so.
[5:20] Speaker 1: They can tax to you.
[5:21] Speaker 2: We need more money, we need help, we have more
[5:23] Speaker 2: money or problems, I say, Matt.
[5:25] Speaker 4: So it said, if you're a freelancer, don't just write freelancer, right,
[5:27] Speaker 4: freelance writer or freelance I'm.
[5:29] Speaker 1: Going to write CEO of freelancers.
[5:32] Speaker 2: Well instead of being a podcaster because everyone's always like
[5:36] Speaker 2: to say I'm an artist.
[5:37] Speaker 1: Because should we go with artists? Yeah, it's like Cedric
[5:41] Speaker 1: the entertainer. I'm going to wrap this up. Let me
[5:45] Speaker 1: wrap this up. But anyway, Censorus, get it done. Well,
[5:48] Speaker 1: don't get it down in four years. Good luck next time. Yeah. Honestly,
[5:52] Speaker 1: I think if you missed it, you dodged a bullet.
[5:53] Speaker 1: What are they going to do?
[5:54] Speaker 5: Get they find you?
[5:56] Speaker 1: Okay, if they know enough about being to find me,
[5:58] Speaker 1: then no, I'm not doing it.
[6:00] Speaker 5: It's for science.
[6:01] Speaker 1: Fuck you got me on that. It's for religious reasons.
[6:05] Speaker 1: Science done.
[6:07] Speaker 2: I got a little bit excited and I pulled the
[6:12] Speaker 2: trigger on a conversation that didn't need to be had.
[6:14] Speaker 1: But not again.
[6:17] Speaker 2: Alie inquired about I can't remember.
[6:21] Speaker 1: What she said.
[6:21] Speaker 2: We got on the topic of puberty periods. I think
[6:25] Speaker 2: I may have brought it up myself.
[6:26] Speaker 1: Thinking we had that. And if you're wondering what we're
[6:28] Speaker 1: talking about here, we're talking about episode two forty two
[6:30] Speaker 1: with Jackie from the Nourished Cycle. Go back and listen
[6:34] Speaker 1: to it, give it to your husband, send it to
[6:35] Speaker 1: like thirty people.
[6:37] Speaker 2: And I probably needed to do a refresher before. I
[6:41] Speaker 2: was like, let me, I can't sit down. I'll tell
[6:43] Speaker 2: you all about it. It was during breakfast and I
[6:45] Speaker 2: started talking through what I remember recalled as the facts,
[6:50] Speaker 2: and I looked over at Laura to get just a
[6:52] Speaker 2: lot of like approval, like well.
[6:54] Speaker 1: Done, dad.
[6:56] Speaker 2: I was like the thing about you got all the eggs,
[6:58] Speaker 2: and the eggs come down, and when they come them
[7:00] Speaker 2: down there, I'd like, I'll shaken.
[7:06] Speaker 1: I was doing my best. That's what you can do best.
[7:09] Speaker 2: And Laura was like, let's make sure we're on the
[7:11] Speaker 2: same page before we start going down this route.
[7:13] Speaker 3: I got a little bit excited.
[7:14] Speaker 1: Okay, do you recall anything that you might do well.
[7:16] Speaker 2: I was just like, you know, I was like, the
[7:18] Speaker 2: cycle is you got the eggs, they're already in your
[7:21] Speaker 2: and they're coming.
[7:22] Speaker 1: Out, and then you're like, technically they were in Laura too.
[7:28] Speaker 2: What she was like, hang on a sex you wrapping
[7:31] Speaker 2: a head around that. And I was like a bit
[7:32] Speaker 2: of blood, like I thought I was doing the right thing.
[7:36] Speaker 1: I think you were doing the right thing.
[7:38] Speaker 2: And sometimes I no, no, you can say too much
[7:41] Speaker 2: that's not needed at that particular moment.
[7:44] Speaker 3: I'm learning because they'll.
[7:45] Speaker 1: Pick out the bits that you're like, I probably didn't
[7:46] Speaker 1: need to do that yet. They'll pick out those bits
[7:48] Speaker 1: what they remember, like the blood, Yeah.
[7:50] Speaker 4: Sheeap breakfast, she's going to go to school, and like,
[7:52] Speaker 4: just reverberate.
[7:54] Speaker 1: I was trying to be a good dad. You're going
[7:56] Speaker 1: to try.
[7:57] Speaker 3: I'm trying.
[7:57] Speaker 1: You're gonna try any other dads out there being like me, No,
[8:01] Speaker 1: I mean you. The thing is you try to You
[8:04] Speaker 1: did the right thing. You actually punch. You punch your
[8:06] Speaker 1: kids accidentally. Don't say too many times. People in this building.
[8:11] Speaker 1: I know the neighbors are like, hello, police, we're surrounded
[8:13] Speaker 1: by therapists. They'll be like, oh, I can help.
[8:16] Speaker 5: What did Marley say?
[8:18] Speaker 1: She was pretty confused? Did she leave more confused?
[8:21] Speaker 2: And then Laura was like wrap this up, wrap this up?
[8:25] Speaker 2: So then I kind of was like, who was more complex?
[8:27] Speaker 2: I did a little divat I'm not divert diva.
[8:30] Speaker 1: Divert, divert, divert whatever. It's the same thing I'm not
[8:33] Speaker 1: obviously makes He's a lot younger, so I've got time
[8:36] Speaker 1: to prepare. But I won't prepare because I don't prepare
[8:38] Speaker 1: for anything, so I don't even know how I remember.
[8:41] Speaker 1: April was actually April was like what did you learn?
[8:44] Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know, Like I do know,
[8:46] Speaker 1: but it's obviously I forget so much that I didn't
[8:49] Speaker 1: really listen. I haven't really listened yet.
[8:50] Speaker 2: Well, when Macie is ready to have that conversation, give
[8:52] Speaker 2: me a call, I'll drive over.
[8:54] Speaker 3: You'll be I'll gladly have it with her.
[8:55] Speaker 1: You'll be an expert at that say. I'll just give
[8:57] Speaker 1: it the episode. You can work it out there. You
[8:59] Speaker 1: can work it out from there. There's some amazing news
[9:01] Speaker 1: a friend of the show, Renee Gartner. She's done a
[9:03] Speaker 1: little bit of work with an NRL but I used
[9:05] Speaker 1: to do a podcast with her last year for NRL.
[9:08] Speaker 1: But she has some amazing news. They've been trying for
[9:10] Speaker 1: years to have kids, operations, the whole bit. It was
[9:14] Speaker 1: starting to get them down. But good news is she
[9:17] Speaker 1: is pregnant and expecting.
[9:19] Speaker 3: Yes, well, which is amazing because exciting news. How far
[9:22] Speaker 3: along is.
[9:22] Speaker 1: She from memory? Just a bit over the three month
[9:24] Speaker 1: mark from memory could be wrong.
[9:27] Speaker 2: You know that's going to go so quick for us yeah,
[9:29] Speaker 2: for us, going to be quick for her, not people.
[9:32] Speaker 1: I don't know what it is about pregnancies.
[9:33] Speaker 2: Now, I'm literally like, you just announced it yesterday and
[9:37] Speaker 2: then now the nine month mark.
[9:38] Speaker 1: For me, it fucking goes so quick. Once it's sort
[9:42] Speaker 1: of out of you direct thought, you're like, oh, and
[9:44] Speaker 1: then you'll see me again. You're like, wow, I.
[9:46] Speaker 2: Know I can't, I shouldn't say it, but I'm always like,
[9:49] Speaker 2: that was quick.
[9:49] Speaker 1: Right, I know. It's such a It's like, oh, sometimes
[9:52] Speaker 1: I go to say something like that and I'm like
[9:54] Speaker 1: I'll stop myself and go, oh, you must be exhausted.
[9:58] Speaker 1: That's good of them. Wow, you're massive.
[10:01] Speaker 4: It goes quick because by the time you tell people
[10:03] Speaker 4: it's after that three month mark and then six months late,
[10:05] Speaker 4: like six months like that.
[10:07] Speaker 1: Yeah, so there you go. Guards it's going to go
[10:09] Speaker 1: just like that. Congratulations and best of Like I think
[10:12] Speaker 1: she's going to be an amazing mum. She's one of
[10:14] Speaker 1: the best people I know. I would say, excuse me,
[10:18] Speaker 1: I said one off, guys, one of don't maybe change
[10:22] Speaker 1: that to be one of what do we go next?
[10:26] Speaker 1: We got some messages, No, yeah, messages.
[10:28] Speaker 2: Actually, I do want to say a few people messaging
[10:30] Speaker 2: on the Facebook group Soman the Porter, I said happy birthday.
[10:34] Speaker 2: I also will add to that and say happy birthday
[10:37] Speaker 2: Sophie as well as written happy birthday, lots of happy birthdays.
[10:39] Speaker 2: Everyone's favorite Sea Eagles, die hard fan Northern Beach is
[10:43] Speaker 2: fun dad and author slash podcaster Ash Wicks. Wow, that's
[10:47] Speaker 2: a lovely message from Sophie I did. I will put
[10:50] Speaker 2: my hand up and say apologies.
[10:53] Speaker 1: I forgot you. Didn't forget this.
[10:55] Speaker 2: It was your birthday. We celebrate it last week. Even
[10:58] Speaker 2: VIC gave you the President. I thought that's weird that
[11:00] Speaker 2: Vic was late on the birthday present.
[11:02] Speaker 1: Thank you for the biscuits. Viick birth trying to give
[11:04] Speaker 1: me diabetes. You know, I've just lost peopleway and now
[11:07] Speaker 1: you're trying to put like I like them on your fat. Well.
[11:10] Speaker 5: I got a whole variety.
[11:11] Speaker 4: But after we had that biscuit breaking news about Australia's
[11:15] Speaker 4: best biscuit, wanting to have some in the office ever since,
[11:18] Speaker 4: so I got an assorted family pack of the cream biscuits,
[11:22] Speaker 4: two types of tim Tams, and the caramel Crown because
[11:24] Speaker 4: I believe you brought that up.
[11:25] Speaker 1: It's a caramel crown.
[11:27] Speaker 5: Well, we'll try it later right now.
[11:32] Speaker 1: Okay, this is not sponsored Okay, Carol Caramel crowns. Okay.
[11:37] Speaker 1: So it is a layer of gooey caramel covered in
[11:40] Speaker 1: melt in your mouth biscuit dipped in smooth real milk shop.
[11:44] Speaker 1: Have you ever had what?
[11:44] Speaker 3: I'll have one later.
[11:47] Speaker 1: I wanted to get your Just have a bite.
[11:49] Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to have one.
[11:51] Speaker 1: It's his birthday.
[11:52] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[11:52] Speaker 5: Actually he's got to do what he says.
[11:55] Speaker 1: He's like, oh, my body's a temple.
[11:58] Speaker 5: It's because I'm not going to have one because he
[12:00] Speaker 5: looks so good.
[12:01] Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have one.
[12:04] Speaker 2: It's because then I've got I'll have the residue in
[12:06] Speaker 2: my mouth.
[12:07] Speaker 1: And can you guys stop pressuring me into just put
[12:13] Speaker 1: it in your mouth. Just pop it in your mouth.
[12:15] Speaker 1: Big Boy's delicious. Do you know what that is? That's
[12:20] Speaker 1: a Twigs Yeah pretty much.
[12:21] Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a Twigs.
[12:22] Speaker 1: I think the twigt is a bit more biscuity, you
[12:25] Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's a bit more crunch in
[12:26] Speaker 1: the biscuits. Thank you. Ash.
[12:29] Speaker 2: Another message from Samantha. Can I do last names as well?
[12:32] Speaker 2: I won't, I'll do first name. She says this cannot
[12:36] Speaker 2: be real. Lo Ash, you were not that small?
[12:39] Speaker 1: Low double lole you double lot my high. It's a photo.
[12:47] Speaker 1: It's a photo of Ash.
[12:49] Speaker 2: I am that short with Ben Knight, who was on
[12:51] Speaker 2: Monday's episode.
[12:53] Speaker 1: I am that short though. It's not photoshops.
[12:56] Speaker 5: I know I forgot to photoshop.
[12:58] Speaker 1: Yeah, tell the list looked very small there. Well, I
[13:01] Speaker 1: remember the first shoot we did. I had to stand
[13:03] Speaker 1: on a sandbag.
[13:04] Speaker 5: That's right, Ben is tall.
[13:06] Speaker 1: Yeahs for making me feel better.
[13:07] Speaker 3: Guys, you sink five eleven.
[13:09] Speaker 1: Five ten, I'm shrinking. Oh my god, one ten and
[13:13] Speaker 1: a half. That's like you're six to one and a half.
[13:15] Speaker 1: Thank you. People who are six.
[13:16] Speaker 4: Would say someone did think that maybe the reason you
[13:19] Speaker 4: wear hats is for the height.
[13:20] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you do actually get like an extra centimeter
[13:23] Speaker 1: with a hat. It wasn't the plan. What are you
[13:25] Speaker 1: hiding under the motion? I shocked. I didn't wear a
[13:30] Speaker 1: hat in that episode. Yeah, that's why. That's like it.
[13:33] Speaker 1: You got nice hair, Thank you. Vic.
[13:35] Speaker 2: You'd be happy to know that Dan has finished at
[13:38] Speaker 2: my house. He was very well behaved. Nothing untoward was
[13:42] Speaker 2: happening between him and Nana.
[13:44] Speaker 1: How many teas did he clock up? Mate?
[13:45] Speaker 2: This morning was the last morning that Dan was there,
[13:47] Speaker 2: and I literally like came down the stairs.
[13:49] Speaker 1: He was like morning.
[13:51] Speaker 2: And then Nana was because I was joking about it
[13:53] Speaker 2: on the other podcast, so she was a little bit
[13:55] Speaker 2: self conscious and she was.
[13:56] Speaker 1: Like, give down the tea.
[13:57] Speaker 2: And I was like, you give him the tea. You
[13:59] Speaker 2: made the tea him the team, and she's like, no,
[14:01] Speaker 2: just kive it, like you give it a jam.
[14:02] Speaker 1: I don't want to. He's got to give them the
[14:04] Speaker 1: goss And I was like, just now, I go out
[14:06] Speaker 1: and give it to him.
[14:07] Speaker 2: She's like to give it to him, but she was
[14:10] Speaker 2: very upset, as you can imagine that he has gone.
[14:12] Speaker 1: But he did a great job.
[14:13] Speaker 3: I'm going to give you a quick look.
[14:14] Speaker 1: Ash. She's lost the person and she's taken care of
[14:16] Speaker 1: the most I know.
[14:18] Speaker 2: So that is the before working out in the backyard.
[14:21] Speaker 2: That's the before scroll to the right.
[14:23] Speaker 1: And the after. WHOA, yeah, nice job, nice nice and clean.
[14:28] Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you very good. He's done a sensational job.
[14:31] Speaker 2: So in the backyard, had the old pavers they were
[14:33] Speaker 2: like black with mold, clean to the pavers, a little
[14:36] Speaker 2: bench that was all like rotted away.
[14:38] Speaker 3: Pulled that out.
[14:39] Speaker 2: Then there's no fucking pavers underneath that. So I'm like,
[14:42] Speaker 2: can you repave that? And he goes, I can do anything.
[14:45] Speaker 1: He re rendered the wall, painted the walls, also did
[14:48] Speaker 1: the curtains upstairs. He's just like he.
[14:50] Speaker 5: Can do everything, like he is really good.
[14:52] Speaker 2: He is he can do anything anything like that's I
[14:57] Speaker 2: fucking dream of having that ability, Like even do you
[15:02] Speaker 2: know what he.
[15:03] Speaker 1: Would have had and years of experience. If you had
[15:06] Speaker 1: the same experience, you would pick up things.
[15:09] Speaker 2: I know, but annoyingly because I was like, I'd help
[15:11] Speaker 2: him out like a tiny bit, and then I have
[15:13] Speaker 2: to come to work. But I did think I wish
[15:18] Speaker 2: I could shadow him for a full day.
[15:20] Speaker 5: He would love that.
[15:21] Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, okay, I would hate that. You're like, what
[15:26] Speaker 1: you doing now? I need I would love to be
[15:29] Speaker 1: taught that stuff. Okay, well you can still.
[15:32] Speaker 5: Do his next career.
[15:34] Speaker 4: Even like teaching dads how to do around the house.
[15:37] Speaker 3: That's like, no one taught me.
[15:39] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like hire a hobby that come in and
[15:41] Speaker 1: do it. They coming and teach the husband how to
[15:43] Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, it's kind of insulting though. Imagine if
[15:46] Speaker 1: your wife is like, hey, I've got Dan coming in
[15:49] Speaker 1: who's going to teach you how to do this?
[15:50] Speaker 4: That what?
[15:52] Speaker 2: Even the other night I was in bed, as I do,
[15:54] Speaker 2: I have my little scroll before I go to sleep,
[15:56] Speaker 2: and the video that I was watching was someone giving
[15:59] Speaker 2: it to Tori on the difference between a screwdriver like
[16:02] Speaker 2: a drill and an impact Is it.
[16:04] Speaker 3: Called an impact an impact drill?
[16:05] Speaker 1: Impact drill?
[16:06] Speaker 3: And Laura was like, go on, what is it?
[16:09] Speaker 2: Well, the impact drill like hits it, so it goes
[16:12] Speaker 2: in further whilst also screwing.
[16:13] Speaker 1: It's like a slide.
[16:14] Speaker 2: It's hard talk. Yeah, and Laura was a good gear.
[16:17] Speaker 2: Laura was like, what are you doing? And I was
[16:19] Speaker 2: like dreaming, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[16:21] Speaker 1: Just leave a man alone when he's watching something with
[16:23] Speaker 1: this much talk.
[16:26] Speaker 3: She was like, a what world we ever used that?
[16:28] Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's my dream.
[16:30] Speaker 1: You'll never know if you don't buy it. Yeah.
[16:32] Speaker 2: My dream is to one day need to have an
[16:34] Speaker 2: impact drill and use it to something.
[16:36] Speaker 1: I will just get one for like the use it
[16:39] Speaker 1: for the things you would just use a screwdriver. It's
[16:41] Speaker 1: like that's putting flat packs together.
[16:45] Speaker 5: For the female listeners, can you explain what talk is?
[16:48] Speaker 1: Talk is the revolutions of the revolutions.
[16:52] Speaker 3: Talk is of the drill. It's a bigger engine.
[16:54] Speaker 1: Yeah, there's more talk than a regular drill. I'm not
[16:57] Speaker 1: sure if you saw. But someone who we were aspire
[17:00] Speaker 1: to one day have on the pod whenever he visits
[17:02] Speaker 1: the country is how To Dad. His name's Jordan. I've
[17:05] Speaker 1: met him before. Yeah, I mean him the f one,
[17:07] Speaker 1: very funny, lovely. He's a dad, honestly, like the only
[17:11] Speaker 1: one way to describe him when he's a fucking dad.
[17:14] Speaker 1: He is a thoroughbred dad. It's like he was born
[17:17] Speaker 1: a dad. He's come out and it's like he's got
[17:19] Speaker 1: a couple of kids with him. He's got great legs,
[17:21] Speaker 1: flip flops. He also like done some stuff like training
[17:24] Speaker 1: with the All Blacks and all sorts of stuff. He's
[17:26] Speaker 1: a man anyway. He put a little video up which
[17:29] Speaker 1: was a very stark reminder of how immature people can be.
[17:33] Speaker 2: What happened kids sport, which we spoke about the other day,
[17:36] Speaker 2: started about dance.
[17:37] Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is with parents abusing each other and
[17:42] Speaker 1: the referee, and he's.
[17:43] Speaker 3: The Americans who did that.
[17:45] Speaker 1: It's spled out a rereading. I see, like like a
[17:49] Speaker 1: basketball court in America or NFL, the very passionate and
[17:52] Speaker 1: the passion of.
[17:53] Speaker 2: The American parents. If you're an American listening to this
[17:55] Speaker 2: right now, I think you're great within reason, but doesn't
[18:00] Speaker 2: because my kids don't do Molly's just stat of netball,
[18:03] Speaker 2: but we're not really doing sports with his referees.
[18:05] Speaker 1: Yeah. So my friend of mine is from Nebraska and
[18:08] Speaker 1: he was American. Well, good spun. You know, there's like
[18:14] Speaker 1: four hundred million of them, so they're around. But he
[18:16] Speaker 1: was saying early doors with sports, like in American sports
[18:20] Speaker 1: like the NFL, NBA, the coaching with these kids is
[18:24] Speaker 1: so intense, so early. Like he was saying that one
[18:26] Speaker 1: of his friends who played college football when he was
[18:28] Speaker 1: a kid, his dad would lock him in a completely
[18:31] Speaker 1: dark room with a random laser and what it would
[18:34] Speaker 1: do he would have to essentially the laser hits the wall.
[18:37] Speaker 1: He would have to make sure he hits that spot
[18:39] Speaker 1: like reaction time. And he we're talking like seven year olds.
[18:41] Speaker 1: Is this mission impossible? Right? But that's how early they
[18:44] Speaker 1: start them for those reactions. That's child abuse. Oh absolutely,
[18:48] Speaker 1: But have you ever watched like some of these tag
[18:50] Speaker 1: NFL kids play crazy and one of these parents are passionate.
[18:53] Speaker 1: They're mental. Yeah, but we're like, we're talking casual sport
[18:56] Speaker 1: over here. Like in New Zealand. As far as I know,
[18:59] Speaker 1: I think there's netball and some union that has been
[19:03] Speaker 1: canceled for kids or because of the parents, which I
[19:06] Speaker 1: think is not fair.
[19:07] Speaker 3: So what was how too Dad.
[19:08] Speaker 1: Saying his video was about that you need to just
[19:11] Speaker 1: chill the fuck out, Like, come on, there's a kid
[19:13] Speaker 1: sports video good a New Zealand.
[19:15] Speaker 6: Look, I don't usually swear in my videos, but if
[19:18] Speaker 6: you are those parents that like to come along to
[19:21] Speaker 6: Saturday morning sports games and swear at the referees, hurl abuse,
[19:26] Speaker 6: yell at the kids, just downright shit behavior on the sideline,
[19:31] Speaker 6: well you know what, you can off my kids netball
[19:35] Speaker 6: this weekend. No spectators are allowed within the courts because
[19:39] Speaker 6: of some dickhead parents. I've also seen instances of rugby
[19:43] Speaker 6: clubs have canceling all Saturday rugby because of dickhead parents
[19:47] Speaker 6: on the sideline. You know who you are, the other
[19:50] Speaker 6: people that have some kind of dip down issues that
[19:53] Speaker 6: you need to get on top of, and you vent
[19:55] Speaker 6: it and let it out at young kids, volunteer referees,
[19:58] Speaker 6: some teenage volunteer referees on weekends.
[20:00] Speaker 3: That's what gets you going Saturday morning.
[20:02] Speaker 6: Oh well, so again a few of those kind of
[20:07] Speaker 6: appearents who are ruining it for you right now, so
[20:09] Speaker 6: you can off.
[20:11] Speaker 2: He's got a good he's got a good funck off,
[20:12] Speaker 2: doesn't he He's got a good way of telling people.
[20:15] Speaker 1: Also, like I kind of felt like I was being
[20:16] Speaker 1: told off just then. I don't do anything wrong. I
[20:19] Speaker 1: really did watch my behavior.
[20:21] Speaker 2: Have you been to any sports like Oscar? I'm thinking
[20:24] Speaker 2: he played, he plays soccer, plays rugby. Have you been
[20:26] Speaker 2: to any matches on the weekend where someone's had to
[20:28] Speaker 2: go at the rev?
[20:29] Speaker 3: Yeah.
[20:29] Speaker 1: So just just this weekend, we were playing a home
[20:33] Speaker 1: game for us. So the other team, who will remain nameless,
[20:36] Speaker 1: they got a flog. And by the way, so there
[20:38] Speaker 1: was one of our kids on our team. Okay, who
[20:40] Speaker 1: I mean, keep in mind there's seven. Okay, he's quite
[20:42] Speaker 1: a bit of a brute. He's a bit of a brute.
[20:44] Speaker 1: He's just a bigger build. He would be great at footy.
[20:46] Speaker 1: He loves playing soccer. He's on the other team, sorry,
[20:49] Speaker 1: on our team, on our team, so it's a bit
[20:51] Speaker 1: of a brute, which we love because he's just boots
[20:53] Speaker 1: the ball like he's just got a good kick on him. Okay,
[20:55] Speaker 1: again there's seven.
[20:56] Speaker 3: Every team's got one kid who's like the kicking kid.
[20:59] Speaker 1: Yeah, he kicked a kid and the ref it was
[21:04] Speaker 1: it was competing for the ball because it's soccer. It's soccer,
[21:11] Speaker 1: it just comes that's tennis line. He's like coming on
[21:14] Speaker 1: to kick it. Yeah. Anyway, he's kicked a kid going
[21:18] Speaker 1: for the ball and the ref stopped. It was like like,
[21:21] Speaker 1: we can't do that. You get a free kick whatever.
[21:23] Speaker 1: It's under seven's for god's sake. Anyway, it happened again,
[21:26] Speaker 1: but not as bad. The kids sort of saw him
[21:29] Speaker 1: come and threw himself to the ground as well, right
[21:31] Speaker 1: the sideline in front of everyone. Anyway, the balls sort
[21:34] Speaker 1: of trickled out. Oscar's got it from where it's ended
[21:37] Speaker 1: up and shot from the sideline. It's gone in amazing goal,
[21:41] Speaker 1: great goal. Anyway, the parent it must have been of
[21:44] Speaker 1: that kid pipes up and he was like, oh, it's
[21:47] Speaker 1: fucking worth and it was like the ref was one
[21:51] Speaker 1: of our coaches who doesn't take any ship either. He's
[21:54] Speaker 1: like yeah, what essentially, and the guy's like that goal
[21:58] Speaker 1: shouldn't count, like fu fully going at him, and the
[22:02] Speaker 1: referee turned around and said, good news, mate, I don't
[22:04] Speaker 1: count any of the goals because they're fucking seven. We're
[22:10] Speaker 1: all standing there, and I was like, literally I was
[22:13] Speaker 1: doing the substitutes next to him, and I was like, oh,
[22:16] Speaker 1: that's embarrassing. And then we were like. The game ended
[22:20] Speaker 1: shortly after, and I was like, my biggest thing with
[22:23] Speaker 1: these kids because I'm not the coach, I'm the interim coach.
[22:26] Speaker 1: I'm the filling. I'm like, you're shaking hands regardless of
[22:30] Speaker 1: what happens here. And I over exaggerated that to show
[22:33] Speaker 1: how good of a sport we are and how bad
[22:35] Speaker 1: of a sport he is. And I was like, make
[22:38] Speaker 1: shaking hand. Everyone's shaking hands. Someone going to shake that
[22:40] Speaker 1: guy's hand like fully like and then we just like
[22:44] Speaker 1: by passed out. But thankfully it was diffused by how
[22:48] Speaker 1: stupid he is and some common sense from a referee.
[22:52] Speaker 2: I've seen footage on social media parents parents have opposing teams.
[23:00] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so my mate Beno's congratulations, They said, baby,
[23:03] Speaker 1: he coached his son's team last year. He said, you'll
[23:06] Speaker 1: never do it again. He was like, it was great,
[23:08] Speaker 1: we were you know, a majority of parents were really
[23:10] Speaker 1: really good, but he was like, mate, fucking punch on. Wow. Yeah,
[23:15] Speaker 1: so he had what is wrong with the world. It's
[23:18] Speaker 1: kids sport. I get the passion. I understand the competitiveness,
[23:22] Speaker 1: and sometimes it's like.
[23:23] Speaker 2: Although nepples just started, so I don't want to like,
[23:25] Speaker 2: let's just i'll give you guys pose it on how
[23:27] Speaker 2: I get on the side.
[23:27] Speaker 1: Like April's pretty aggressive, but she's positively aggressive. She's always
[23:33] Speaker 1: she's all for encouragement, but it sounds like it's like
[23:37] Speaker 1: she's sledging you a bit nicely. She's like, yeah, you
[23:40] Speaker 1: did a good job. Whoa. But like, you know, majority
[23:47] Speaker 1: of parents are fine, but there are like my mate
[23:49] Speaker 1: and I just sent a kid off because this kid
[23:51] Speaker 1: was kicking everyone anyway. He got kicked by another kid,
[23:55] Speaker 1: and my mate, who was the referee, was like, that's
[23:58] Speaker 1: what happens, bro, that's what it feels like, like you know,
[24:00] Speaker 1: and he hits the eight year old turn around and
[24:02] Speaker 1: said fuck off.
[24:03] Speaker 4: I have heard there's now signs up at sports games
[24:06] Speaker 4: for kids warning parents of their behavior.
[24:08] Speaker 1: Yeah, there has been. It's not this is not a
[24:11] Speaker 1: new thing, of course, but it's like now everything is
[24:14] Speaker 1: so public with social media, why would you run that
[24:17] Speaker 1: risk that someone's going to take a video of you
[24:19] Speaker 1: and put it online.
[24:20] Speaker 2: I don't know if when I was a kid growing up,
[24:22] Speaker 2: I don't remember any of that at all. Like maybe
[24:25] Speaker 2: maybe it's just because it was all having on the
[24:27] Speaker 2: sidelines and I was so focused on the field.
[24:29] Speaker 1: Yeah.
[24:29] Speaker 2: So before we move on, we just want to say,
[24:31] Speaker 2: if you're a parent attending kids sport, please be well behaved, respectful,
[24:35] Speaker 2: respectful to the kids, the players, the coaching staff, the referees.
[24:39] Speaker 1: Goodness me, if the kid was better behave than you
[24:41] Speaker 1: in that situation, take a look at yourself realistically, Matt.
[24:46] Speaker 1: We have been sent a video from a Dota tany
[24:50] Speaker 1: is it?
[24:50] Speaker 5: Ella?
[24:50] Speaker 1: Grace's close. I was so close either one of those
[24:55] Speaker 1: to send us a video or she's on the mind
[24:57] Speaker 1: at the moment, or she's on or she's on the mind,
[24:59] Speaker 1: or of the house. She's in the mind, or she's
[25:02] Speaker 1: in the mound. She should make a song a jingle,
[25:03] Speaker 1: because a jingle, Yes, and they're everywhere in my house.
[25:06] Speaker 1: I can't fucking escape them. But someone send us a
[25:08] Speaker 1: solution for those ushies. You would like to watch the video.
[25:12] Speaker 2: Oh, it's one of those claw games, but it's a
[25:15] Speaker 2: miniature version that you put the ushies in so you
[25:18] Speaker 2: can That's actually pretty cool is that it came up.
[25:20] Speaker 1: My kids were doing this last night. But manually the
[25:22] Speaker 1: claw game, that's great. How much of that actually from
[25:24] Speaker 1: cam I came probably like five bucks. Well they're going
[25:26] Speaker 1: to check out it adds up to fifty. Yeah, you
[25:28] Speaker 1: gotta like, yeah, it'll be like you could buy a
[25:30] Speaker 1: few of them. But my kids were doing something similar
[25:32] Speaker 1: like that, but manually last night. So am I going
[25:35] Speaker 1: to get in one of them with their hand? Yeah,
[25:37] Speaker 1: they'll close your eyes. That's kind of fun.
[25:42] Speaker 2: Ash you may have seen recently, I've been feeding my child, Poppy,
[25:46] Speaker 2: who was eleven months, and we were told on a
[25:48] Speaker 2: previous episode with Jewels from the bable he's a nutritionist
[25:52] Speaker 2: that babies with baby led weening can have sardines.
[25:55] Speaker 1: Oh yeah, now I've gone to get.
[25:56] Speaker 2: The sardines and just my luck headline and vicnam to
[26:00] Speaker 2: treade on your turf. Supermarket shells stripped bear of sardine's
[26:05] Speaker 2: as prices sore overnight. Hey what the affordable pantry staples
[26:09] Speaker 2: disappearing at the moment my eye and they're.
[26:12] Speaker 1: Increasing as much as thirty percent. The fish are rolling
[26:16] Speaker 1: in it.
[26:16] Speaker 5: They must have listened to the pod I.
[26:18] Speaker 3: Must, do you think?
[26:19] Speaker 1: Do you think there's a connection there?
[26:20] Speaker 3: But apparently there's.
[26:22] Speaker 1: Shortage of sardine. There's just like you can't get it.
[26:25] Speaker 1: My mom's gonna be filthy.
[26:26] Speaker 3: You can't get anymore.
[26:27] Speaker 1: So now it's just I'm stuck with the chops. I
[26:29] Speaker 1: don't like the idea of them calling it a pantry staple.
[26:34] Speaker 7: I know it's that's a bit like okay, flower, sure, peanut, butter, veggimi,
[26:39] Speaker 7: sardine No, that's a stretch.
[26:46] Speaker 1: I know. I feel like other than feeding your child
[26:48] Speaker 1: sardine's the only people who eat them are like my mom. Literally,
[26:52] Speaker 1: my mom's like did you hear? I know my mom
[26:55] Speaker 1: as well. It was like, quick, quick, come here the news.
[26:57] Speaker 1: I was like, what is it? She goes, there's a shortage.
[27:00] Speaker 1: We should buy some fishing rods quick. Speaking of news, Victoria.
[27:07] Speaker 4: Well I've got some happy breaking news this week. Cameron
[27:09] Speaker 4: Diaz has welcomed a baby number three at fifty three.
[27:15] Speaker 4: That's it, Come on, yeah, Little Naughtouse Madden was born
[27:18] Speaker 4: last week, joining two year old brother Cardinal just one second.
[27:21] Speaker 3: One, we'll just go back.
[27:23] Speaker 1: We retrace real quickly, wind it back. What was that? Saye?
[27:29] Speaker 1: N A U t U S.
[27:31] Speaker 4: And the other one is two year old brother Cardinal,
[27:34] Speaker 4: and the other one and six year old sister Radix Radix, Radix, wildflower.
[27:40] Speaker 2: Radix Cardinal and naughtous. That is fucking spicy too less
[27:45] Speaker 2: that is spicy. Nortous is like nautiless, Cardinal sin and
[27:50] Speaker 2: Radix is like a type of sated.
[27:52] Speaker 4: Oh god, anyway, this is the bit I find really interesting.
[27:58] Speaker 4: Diaz was forty seven, fifty one, and now fifty three
[28:02] Speaker 4: when she welcomed.
[28:02] Speaker 5: Each of her children.
[28:04] Speaker 1: So dementia's the reason for those names.
[28:06] Speaker 4: All three births made possible through surrogacy.
[28:08] Speaker 3: Wow, that's like good.
[28:10] Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure she's going to have a lot
[28:12] Speaker 2: of help given how much money she's got, But goodness, me,
[28:16] Speaker 2: a newborn at fifty three, I'm not for me.
[28:19] Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hell.
[28:20] Speaker 4: Well, she said after a long fertility journey, it's a
[28:23] Speaker 4: pretty special ending. And the star now says the only
[28:26] Speaker 4: pressure for me is now that I have to live
[28:28] Speaker 4: to be one hundred and seven. That's a lot of pressure,
[28:31] Speaker 4: which is sort of a joke, but sort of like,
[28:33] Speaker 4: I don't know, is that where science is going?
[28:36] Speaker 2: But like when I mean sometimes you look at what
[28:39] Speaker 2: was that fucking show with the old grannies, the Golden
[28:42] Speaker 2: Golden gold Girl.
[28:43] Speaker 1: You remember the Golden Girls, and apparently they were like
[28:45] Speaker 1: forty I know, they were part of that Hollywood scene
[28:51] Speaker 1: at the time where it was like I would probably
[28:53] Speaker 1: just bendering the whole time.
[28:55] Speaker 2: Even someone had a photo of the Sopranos and they're
[28:58] Speaker 2: like that was film current day. Then Tony Soprano would
[29:01] Speaker 2: be born in nineteen ninety, so we're the same age,
[29:05] Speaker 2: I imagine, maybe older than like people are looking amazing
[29:09] Speaker 2: at the moment. Whatever everyone's doing, definitely won's But imagine
[29:15] Speaker 2: being your kid's seventeen and she's going to be seventy.
[29:20] Speaker 2: That's like you're not going to be around for your grandkids.
[29:25] Speaker 4: I was thinking, like, as the oldest parent.
[29:27] Speaker 1: Of the group here, no need to brag about it.
[29:30] Speaker 5: I mean, I wish I could.
[29:32] Speaker 2: How well were you vic when you go birth to to.
[29:34] Speaker 5: Louis, Oh to Lily?
[29:36] Speaker 1: Oh God?
[29:37] Speaker 4: I was thirty six when I had Louis and thirty
[29:38] Speaker 4: eight when I had Lily.
[29:40] Speaker 1: Wow.
[29:40] Speaker 5: But Dan was forty and forty two.
[29:43] Speaker 1: Which I actually think is quite normal.
[29:45] Speaker 5: Yeah, these days, these days, it's very normal.
[29:47] Speaker 4: But if I had my time again, I mean both
[29:49] Speaker 4: of us would have loved to have children much earlier, because,
[29:52] Speaker 4: as you know, it takes everything.
[29:55] Speaker 3: Out of My back is constantly.
[29:57] Speaker 4: I'm so tired all the time, and I just keep
[29:59] Speaker 4: the king. If I was younger and more energetic, I
[30:02] Speaker 4: probably would have more energy.
[30:04] Speaker 1: You have the stamina and the maturity that you have. Now, yeah,
[30:07] Speaker 1: you've got to earn this. But fifty three, I mean not,
[30:10] Speaker 1: you know, not for me. No, I think. I mean,
[30:13] Speaker 1: I'm sure those kids will have a happy, healthy life.
[30:15] Speaker 1: But was there a reason why they waited too long
[30:17] Speaker 1: or was it just a career and stuff like that.
[30:19] Speaker 4: I think she had a fertility battle, but I think
[30:22] Speaker 4: they did find it hard.
[30:24] Speaker 5: He's a bit young. I think he's.
[30:30] Speaker 1: From good Charlotte Joel. How old are the nannies and
[30:33] Speaker 1: the chef? And that's the next thing. Look, congratulations each
[30:37] Speaker 1: of their own. But I honestly, I suppose it's just changing.
[30:40] Speaker 1: Everything's changing. How old was al Pacino had a kid recently?
[30:42] Speaker 5: Eighty something?
[30:43] Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a problem. That is a problem. That is
[30:45] Speaker 1: a problem. Was that a mistake that was planned planned?
[30:50] Speaker 3: Yeah, those Hollywood actors.
[30:52] Speaker 1: Planned pregnancy in your seven Who knows where it will
[30:54] Speaker 1: be the next g direction. People will be ninety and
[30:58] Speaker 1: still popping our kids. Yeah that's crazy. Wel congratulations and
[31:01] Speaker 1: get the names changed. Um moving on, we're out of housekeeping.
[31:06] Speaker 2: Now, Ash, you teased it last episode, but I want
[31:10] Speaker 2: to know how life is for you now that April
[31:13] Speaker 2: returned from her beautiful trip in Barlet, oh much better.
[31:15] Speaker 1: She came back. She was super pumped. She had a
[31:17] Speaker 1: great time, so it was like she left more tan faked.
[31:23] Speaker 1: She faked it. She faked it so much so that
[31:26] Speaker 1: she's repelled the sun altogether. She came back, she looked refreshed,
[31:30] Speaker 1: She had a great time, a lot of laugh So
[31:31] Speaker 1: that's what I was hoping for with her and her friends,
[31:33] Speaker 1: because she hasn't been anywhere without the kids the whole time,
[31:37] Speaker 1: really all without me at least. But she had a
[31:40] Speaker 1: great time. She's back into the swing of things, back
[31:42] Speaker 1: at the gym immediately. The hardest part about solo parenting
[31:47] Speaker 1: has been outnumbered severely. You know what it's like to
[31:50] Speaker 1: be outnumbered. So there's things that I felt like I
[31:52] Speaker 1: had a pretty good judge on the whole thing. There
[31:56] Speaker 1: were a couple of moments that would beg to differ.
[31:58] Speaker 1: I would say the first one is early doors makes
[32:02] Speaker 1: he nearly burnt the house down because she was putting
[32:04] Speaker 1: things in the heater and there wasn't two of us
[32:06] Speaker 1: to supervise that situation.
[32:08] Speaker 3: What's the what heater is set up?
[32:10] Speaker 1: Have you got first a first time having gas? First winter?
[32:14] Speaker 1: Having gas is game changer? Game changer. Absolutely, whole house
[32:17] Speaker 1: smells like gas. I love it, but actually shouldn't though,
[32:20] Speaker 1: should it? That's concerning where am I? Seriously no wonders.
[32:26] Speaker 1: She started putting fucking toys. So it's got it's like
[32:29] Speaker 1: your one at home. It's got the bottom grill where
[32:32] Speaker 1: the air comes out of, okay, and it's not like
[32:34] Speaker 1: an open flame erything like that, but it just pushes
[32:36] Speaker 1: the air out and it does get really hot down there. Yeah,
[32:39] Speaker 1: that's the kids, that's the heat. Saw some woeld say.
[32:41] Speaker 1: The kids come out of the bar and they sit
[32:43] Speaker 1: there and get changed in front of the heat. See
[32:45] Speaker 1: that's what's The kids do everything in front of the
[32:46] Speaker 1: heater now because the'redicted to it. But I turned the
[32:49] Speaker 1: heater on. I was like, sweet, no worries, and then
[32:52] Speaker 1: all of a sudden I started to smell a bit
[32:54] Speaker 1: of plastic burning. I was like, oh, oh, fuck, you've
[32:58] Speaker 1: turned into April. Laura was always like, is that burning?
[33:04] Speaker 5: Burning?
[33:04] Speaker 4: Plastic is such a specific smell stings.
[33:08] Speaker 2: I feel like women are really honed into that smell.
[33:11] Speaker 2: My mom's like a blood had canaries.
[33:13] Speaker 1: Canaries. Yeah, good reference, but yeah. I was like, yeah,
[33:21] Speaker 1: that's plastic. I know my plastics. I smoked a lot
[33:23] Speaker 1: of bongs in my time. Anyway, it started the bottom.
[33:28] Speaker 1: I was like, the bottom of the heat is starting
[33:29] Speaker 1: to smoke a little bit. I look in there and
[33:32] Speaker 1: a little pink cowboy hat from a Barbie Dolls and
[33:34] Speaker 1: jammed in there, and I was like, what the fuck,
[33:39] Speaker 1: Like I've already acted like the house is burning down.
[33:41] Speaker 1: I got no one there to calm me down. The
[33:43] Speaker 1: kids are flipping out. Well it makes his like and
[33:46] Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, you're gonna put like you know
[33:48] Speaker 1: sometimes you just thinks just come out of mouth, like
[33:50] Speaker 1: you gonna burn the house down.
[33:51] Speaker 6: And she was like.
[33:55] Speaker 1: Like just like I was like, fucking that was day one,
[33:58] Speaker 1: so I've nearly burnt the house.
[34:00] Speaker 2: It's like that episode of Simpsons and Marge leaves for
[34:02] Speaker 2: a bit, comes home and they barricaded themselves.
[34:05] Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly. I was like, I'm back and
[34:07] Speaker 1: the house is all charmed. That was the day one.
[34:11] Speaker 1: And then we got over there. I thought, okay, that's okay.
[34:12] Speaker 1: House is fine. I've got the cowboy hat. I got
[34:14] Speaker 1: the fucking chop six out and got the cowboy. At first,
[34:17] Speaker 1: I was worried I better not like you know, when
[34:19] Speaker 1: people to say don't put things in a toaster. I
[34:21] Speaker 1: was like, what can I put in there without electric myself? Six?
[34:24] Speaker 1: So I thought, thank you bamboo, some of the finest bamboo.
[34:28] Speaker 1: So that we got over that, and then I thought, okay, well,
[34:32] Speaker 1: the only way I'm going to be able to get
[34:34] Speaker 1: these kids to do what I say and there without
[34:37] Speaker 1: having to battle all the time is just run a
[34:39] Speaker 1: new parenting style I called sob story going, where every
[34:43] Speaker 1: time I needed something done, I would lean on the
[34:46] Speaker 1: fact wor I'd be like, oh, come on, it's just
[34:48] Speaker 1: it's just dad here. Dad's all alone here, like really
[34:51] Speaker 1: build up the narrative of how sad I am that
[34:55] Speaker 1: I missed Mum and I need you to help me.
[34:56] Speaker 1: That's good. Communications worked a fucking treat. I would say
[35:00] Speaker 1: anyone out there that's facing a stint as single parent,
[35:03] Speaker 1: or that you're the kids, feel guilty, make him feel guilty,
[35:06] Speaker 1: manipulate that.
[35:07] Speaker 3: Did you fake cry?
[35:09] Speaker 1: I couldn't bring myself to fake.
[35:10] Speaker 3: Sometimes do it.
[35:12] Speaker 1: That's a real cry man. Pressure today. You don't understand
[35:16] Speaker 1: the sort of pressures I have to get you to
[35:17] Speaker 1: pressure teeth anyway.
[35:19] Speaker 4: So I actually started crying this morning in front of Louis.
[35:22] Speaker 4: Then he laughed at me.
[35:23] Speaker 5: He started laughing.
[35:24] Speaker 1: You tell Louis if he does that one more time,
[35:27] Speaker 1: I'm coming over there and he's going to get a
[35:28] Speaker 1: stern talking to from me.
[35:30] Speaker 2: But also like good to just like change the moods.
[35:36] Speaker 1: He probably didn't know what to do, Like Oscar. When
[35:37] Speaker 1: I'm giving Oscar a decent dressing gown, he starts smiling,
[35:40] Speaker 1: smile at me. He's like, I can't help it. I
[35:44] Speaker 1: was like, you forget that at that age you can't
[35:46] Speaker 1: control your response, just things like that, Like yeah, but.
[35:49] Speaker 2: Also sometimes when I'm fighting with Laura, I just like
[35:52] Speaker 2: just to break the eyes. I just can't give it
[35:54] Speaker 2: that look to get it a smile.
[35:56] Speaker 1: We like we all do that. Heyefril goes, I'm not
[36:00] Speaker 1: in a laughing mood. Okay, then in a laughing mood,
[36:05] Speaker 1: I'm laughing, and I'm like, I thought you were in
[36:07] Speaker 1: a loving mood.
[36:07] Speaker 3: And then next thing you're having sex.
[36:09] Speaker 4: Yeah.
[36:10] Speaker 1: Yeah, the next thing, she's on top. Anyway, I did that.
[36:14] Speaker 1: That was all going well until the last two days
[36:18] Speaker 1: where I got in trouble from the kids because I
[36:20] Speaker 1: was you got in trouble. Yeah, the last day before
[36:23] Speaker 1: I were I sent them to school with the wrong lunchboxes.
[36:26] Speaker 1: I swapped him over. Yeah yeah, see none parents out
[36:30] Speaker 1: there like big, that's that's a big fucking straight to jail.
[36:33] Speaker 1: So yeah, right to jail. I got a stern talking
[36:37] Speaker 1: to from a seven year old and then a four
[36:38] Speaker 1: year old in that afternoon, and I was like, look, guys,
[36:40] Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. I'm under a lot of pressure that's
[36:43] Speaker 1: been yelling at me at work.
[36:45] Speaker 2: And then it was the story, I won't do it again, problems,
[36:48] Speaker 2: we've run out of chopsticks, and they were like, they
[36:50] Speaker 2: were like, it's okay, it's fine, Well, it's okay, don't cry.
[36:53] Speaker 1: And then I won't do do it again. So the
[36:56] Speaker 1: next day I did it again. Do you have to
[37:00] Speaker 1: say I'm the worst dad ever? Nah? No, use that line?
[37:05] Speaker 5: Really, I yeah, I've done that.
[37:07] Speaker 1: Yeah No, I'm too worried.
[37:09] Speaker 5: Get a new one.
[37:10] Speaker 1: I guess I'm just the worst dut in the world.
[37:13] Speaker 1: I'm worried about doing that because they'll be like, yeah
[37:15] Speaker 1: about tomm you No no, no, no, no, no, trust me, Okay.
[37:19] Speaker 2: I mean it's very toxic, and it's I'm all about
[37:22] Speaker 2: what the old the generation do whenever you pull them
[37:23] Speaker 2: up on anything.
[37:24] Speaker 1: I know my mom, But now I'm like, now I
[37:25] Speaker 1: get it. While they would say that line, just yeah,
[37:28] Speaker 1: just just manipulate them and if you've.
[37:30] Speaker 2: Got the lunch boxes, I'll just pack my stuff up
[37:34] Speaker 2: and get out of this house because I'm fucking useless.
[37:36] Speaker 6: Is that?
[37:36] Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying. It's fine, It's just like
[37:39] Speaker 1: I was going to cry, and then I said, okay,
[37:41] Speaker 1: I won't do it again. And I did it again
[37:42] Speaker 1: the next day, but this time I did it slightly differently,
[37:45] Speaker 1: because they're those on purpose or accident that this was
[37:48] Speaker 1: I was really trying. This time. I was like, I
[37:50] Speaker 1: can't do that again because that's embarrassing.
[37:51] Speaker 4: Did you only realize at the end of the day
[37:53] Speaker 4: when they told her.
[37:53] Speaker 1: When I got it out of the school bag and
[37:54] Speaker 1: realized that why is Oscars lunchboxing makes his school bag
[37:58] Speaker 1: vice versa.
[37:58] Speaker 5: Did they eat it?
[38:00] Speaker 1: No, like bits, the bits that they would normally eat.
[38:03] Speaker 1: So the next morning I'm making lunches and it's one
[38:05] Speaker 1: of those ones where you can take the lid off,
[38:07] Speaker 1: wash the lid separately, so the different colored leads. One's yellow,
[38:10] Speaker 1: one is purple. Okay, yellow is Oscar, Purple is Macy,
[38:13] Speaker 1: thank you, okay, and I accident, but the handles are
[38:16] Speaker 1: meant to correlate with the lead color. Okay, I didn't
[38:19] Speaker 1: even think about that. I just put the lids back
[38:21] Speaker 1: on and sent him. Get home that day, Open up
[38:23] Speaker 1: the bag and Oscar's standing there and he goes, yeap
[38:28] Speaker 1: again you did. And then he was like, co fucking
[38:32] Speaker 1: time it looked at me, purple handle of purple he
[38:36] Speaker 1: looked at He looked at how many fucking times it's
[38:41] Speaker 1: hard to find good help? He goes, I wish mom
[38:44] Speaker 1: was here me too, Now go to your fucking room.
[38:48] Speaker 1: I quit the sob story after that.
[38:50] Speaker 5: Could he do?
[38:51] Speaker 1: It'd just be a lunch box full of tiny teddies?
[38:53] Speaker 3: Fuck?
[38:54] Speaker 1: Other than that pretty solid. Actually, one last thing and
[38:58] Speaker 1: this is this is you're involved in this. So I
[39:01] Speaker 1: was had a birthday party on the weekend that April
[39:04] Speaker 1: wasn't there, so I've dropped Macy off poppers to take
[39:06] Speaker 1: him to this indoor soccer wasn't an appropriate place for
[39:09] Speaker 1: Macy to be with a bunch of boys kicking a
[39:10] Speaker 1: ball around. So I went and it wasn't with a
[39:14] Speaker 1: group of people that I know. It was with a
[39:17] Speaker 1: group of people that Oscar knows and April has. But
[39:20] Speaker 1: she's a way, so someone's going to go, So I'm
[39:21] Speaker 1: gonna go. And you know how much I fucking hate people?
[39:24] Speaker 1: Other people?
[39:25] Speaker 3: You do?
[39:26] Speaker 1: I hate other.
[39:27] Speaker 3: People unless you're a Dodo, then I love it.
[39:30] Speaker 1: But like I just I just want to be left alone.
[39:32] Speaker 4: This is why the dods don't want to come up
[39:34] Speaker 4: to you.
[39:34] Speaker 1: Oh sorry, no, in those situations, great, but I don't
[39:37] Speaker 1: want to be stuck at a two hour party with
[39:39] Speaker 1: a bunch of people I don't know, because I'm like,
[39:40] Speaker 1: what do I do with my hands? It's a lot.
[39:42] Speaker 1: It's like, you know, running on a treadmill. Anyway, So
[39:45] Speaker 1: I was there and this guy struck up some small
[39:48] Speaker 1: talk with me, and I thought, this is the perfect
[39:50] Speaker 1: opportunity to use one of Maddie Jay's classic jokes, what
[39:52] Speaker 1: do you go for? I went with. He was like,
[39:55] Speaker 1: which which kids yours? And I said, oh, none of them,
[39:58] Speaker 1: I'm just here for the spectacle. And it was like, what.
[40:05] Speaker 6: Do you know?
[40:05] Speaker 1: I was joking and he's good kid, and I was like, no, no,
[40:11] Speaker 1: that one over there, and I sent the rest of
[40:13] Speaker 1: the time in the cards. Yeah. No, I spent the
[40:15] Speaker 1: whole two hours going that was dumb, that was dope.
[40:19] Speaker 1: And then in the shower that night, I was like,
[40:20] Speaker 1: this is what I should have said, but I didn't
[40:22] Speaker 1: say it. But yeah, it was awkward after that anyway,
[40:27] Speaker 1: So APRA's back and we are good. We are back
[40:30] Speaker 1: to normal. Well done, well done, Thank you, great dad,
[40:33] Speaker 1: thank you one of the best. Thank you. The kids
[40:35] Speaker 1: are so thankful. It is a bit I run a
[40:38] Speaker 1: tight ship when she's not there. She's very lenient with things,
[40:41] Speaker 1: and I'm just like, really, I thought you'd be laxy
[40:44] Speaker 1: Lucy goosey.
[40:45] Speaker 2: Nah.
[40:45] Speaker 1: I don't like fuck around. That's a fair way to
[40:49] Speaker 1: say it, right, I don't like the fuck of the faf,
[40:52] Speaker 1: the faff of that of them like I asked you
[40:54] Speaker 1: to do something, don't change the subject. Just do what
[40:56] Speaker 1: I've asked you to do, and don't interrupt. Sometimes it works.
[41:00] Speaker 1: But then also as well as mush prefair, let us out.
[41:07] Speaker 1: Do you know what's fucking annoying? I've got a list
[41:10] Speaker 1: of things. Yeah, but let's add to it. One of
[41:13] Speaker 1: the most annoying things about parenting is parenting guilt.
[41:16] Speaker 3: Like, for what purpose does it serve?
[41:18] Speaker 2: I have enough on my plate, enough of my mind
[41:21] Speaker 2: without second guessing what I'm doing and thinking that I'm
[41:24] Speaker 2: doing a shit job.
[41:25] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, why do you think you're doing it
[41:26] Speaker 1: if you've seen someone doing a better job.
[41:28] Speaker 2: On Fridays that is my poppy day, My poppy day.
[41:32] Speaker 2: And also, she's eleven months now, and she's your third daughter, Okay,
[41:39] Speaker 2: And I didn't have a version of matt leave when
[41:42] Speaker 2: she was first born. I didn't get that. I was
[41:45] Speaker 2: always working. It's a hard worker. What a guy, What
[41:48] Speaker 2: a guy. But in the blink of an eye, she's
[41:51] Speaker 2: now eleven months and the added pressure, the added guilt
[41:55] Speaker 2: that is on the shoulders is the thought of this
[41:59] Speaker 2: is the last time ever you will have a newborn child.
[42:02] Speaker 2: That is yours in your lifetime, right, So you're like,
[42:05] Speaker 2: you want to make the most of it, because all
[42:08] Speaker 2: of a sudden she's crawling, she's about to start walking,
[42:10] Speaker 2: and I'm like, where the fuck did the last eleven
[42:11] Speaker 2: months go like that? And so you've got to try
[42:15] Speaker 2: and save her every second. And so the fridays that
[42:18] Speaker 2: I have with her are just me and her, and
[42:21] Speaker 2: I try not to have any work, try and have
[42:25] Speaker 2: just my attention, my focus. It's just me and popping,
[42:27] Speaker 2: no distractions. I can give her a day where it's
[42:30] Speaker 2: just she has me having any naps she has now day.
[42:33] Speaker 1: It's pretty annoying that that is the annoying part.
[42:37] Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to wing. It's just one nap time.
[42:38] Speaker 2: At the moment, she naps from nine thirty hour and
[42:41] Speaker 2: a half. That's and then three o'clock maybe an hour. Okay,
[42:45] Speaker 2: it disrupts the day, I'll tell you that much.
[42:48] Speaker 1: Wake up.
[42:48] Speaker 2: But before you know it, she has her first nap.
[42:50] Speaker 2: And then I'm like, I'll take it to the park.
[42:53] Speaker 2: The middle of the day.
[42:54] Speaker 1: We'll go out there. We'll go to the park.
[42:56] Speaker 2: She loves the swing and I can really like have
[42:58] Speaker 2: some like one on one time, some core memories, right,
[43:02] Speaker 2: the moments that I'm going to remember.
[43:04] Speaker 1: And then that Fridays.
[43:05] Speaker 2: Gone, busy at home, emails, phone calls, juggling, everything else.
[43:10] Speaker 1: Laura was also away, and then before I know it,
[43:12] Speaker 1: we're creeping forward to three o'clock and so I'm just wait,
[43:15] Speaker 1: doesn't it.
[43:16] Speaker 2: So then I'm like, I'm not going to go anywhere
[43:17] Speaker 2: because she's going to get pretty tired.
[43:19] Speaker 1: So it's cold to get cold, it's.
[43:21] Speaker 2: Also cold, and then you know, I put her down,
[43:23] Speaker 2: I'm going to race get the kids. Days gone, days gone,
[43:27] Speaker 2: And then I'm looking back at that day being like, well,
[43:31] Speaker 2: my attention has not been on Hurts, It's been on elsewhere,
[43:33] Speaker 2: everything else going on.
[43:35] Speaker 1: And then you just feel overwhelmingly.
[43:38] Speaker 2: Like you're done a shit job, Like you've had a
[43:40] Speaker 2: day where you've not been the parent that you wanted
[43:42] Speaker 2: to be. And as well, all that week like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
[43:46] Speaker 2: Thursday year kind of like I know that Friday's going
[43:48] Speaker 2: to be the day for me and Poppy. And then
[43:49] Speaker 2: when you have the expectation if you want it to
[43:51] Speaker 2: be like this as well, from no, what you think
[43:54] Speaker 2: parenting is going to be like is far from.
[43:56] Speaker 1: It's Yeah, it's not the expectation. It's like that's the dream,
[44:00] Speaker 1: but then it never really pans out how you want
[44:03] Speaker 1: it Depand and.
[44:03] Speaker 2: Then on the weekends because if people listening, going, well,
[44:06] Speaker 2: just play with her on Saturday. I do as well,
[44:08] Speaker 2: but it's just different because I got both kids.
[44:10] Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and they want attention to I remember, like
[44:13] Speaker 1: I had like Thursdays with Macie. Right, it's very different,
[44:18] Speaker 1: like you're saying, when you've got just one to focus
[44:20] Speaker 1: your attention on, because it's right, it's so easy for
[44:22] Speaker 1: someone to say, we'll just play with it tomorrow. Great, yeah, okay,
[44:25] Speaker 1: So then what am I going to do when I've
[44:27] Speaker 1: got two other girls who're like, Daddy, we want to
[44:28] Speaker 1: go for a bike ride, but You're like, well, like
[44:30] Speaker 1: you know, it's so annoying.
[44:32] Speaker 2: And then all that does is then put more pressure
[44:35] Speaker 2: on next Friday because you like want to play catch
[44:38] Speaker 2: up and make up for what I missed on the
[44:40] Speaker 2: last Friday session. I just couldn't shake this feeling of
[44:44] Speaker 2: like voice in my head of like you're a bad dad.
[44:47] Speaker 3: And my biggest, my biggest fear in.
[44:50] Speaker 2: Life is not being attacked by sharks or being they're.
[44:54] Speaker 1: A dime it doesn't nowhere.
[44:55] Speaker 3: But my biggest fear is being a shit dad.
[44:58] Speaker 2: And you're like, and that's great in some circum sens
[45:00] Speaker 2: And also it's at my detriment because you're like, you
[45:03] Speaker 2: don't want it to weigh on your head and second
[45:06] Speaker 2: guess every single moment of parenting.
[45:08] Speaker 1: Yeah, I think one thing that parents do too much
[45:11] Speaker 1: which they we shouldn't do, but it's hard to just
[45:13] Speaker 1: shake it. Is overthink that. Yeah, like you overthink like
[45:17] Speaker 1: am I? I know April as well. She always says
[45:20] Speaker 1: are we doing enough with the kids? And I'm like, yeah,
[45:23] Speaker 1: because realistically it's like we're only two people. There are
[45:27] Speaker 1: only two people. It's like getting out once in the
[45:29] Speaker 1: middle of the day. Is it should be enough? You
[45:31] Speaker 1: don't want to set the expectation that you're like constantly
[45:35] Speaker 1: doing things all the time, because at what point are
[45:38] Speaker 1: you all just fucking exhausted.
[45:40] Speaker 2: But then it's also those people who have that narrative
[45:42] Speaker 2: of like, you know, when the kids are older, you're
[45:45] Speaker 2: going to miss these times. You're going to miss the
[45:47] Speaker 2: moments where your baby's crawling, You're going to miss those
[45:49] Speaker 2: times when there's dirty marks on the window from their
[45:51] Speaker 2: handprints and I'm like, stop fucking saying that we don't
[45:55] Speaker 2: need we don't need this added guilt.
[45:57] Speaker 1: But it's okay to miss that stuff because that could
[45:59] Speaker 1: be everyday stuff too. But I guarantee you in twenty
[46:01] Speaker 1: years time, you're not gonna be like, fuck, I missed
[46:03] Speaker 1: that Friday. That one friday. I fucking missed that one friday.
[46:05] Speaker 2: But if someone did say, like, don'tn't worry about it.
[46:07] Speaker 2: Kids don't remember anything until they're five.
[46:09] Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not for them, it's for me. And it's
[46:11] Speaker 1: like if the kids haven't been out all day, like
[46:14] Speaker 1: just to it's a bit different because we're It's like,
[46:17] Speaker 1: just say we can it haven't been out out all
[46:19] Speaker 1: day because we've had things. We going around the house,
[46:21] Speaker 1: there's things that needs to be done. It's like, I
[46:24] Speaker 1: don't feel the guilt really as long as they're happy
[46:28] Speaker 1: and we've had fun and whatever, because you can.
[46:30] Speaker 2: Have fun at home because I'm working from home. Man,
[46:33] Speaker 2: I just I need to have that break of scenery.
[46:35] Speaker 2: I get so eggy when I've just been in the
[46:38] Speaker 2: house all day, at the table from morning tonight and
[46:42] Speaker 2: the only time I leave is when I drop the
[46:43] Speaker 2: kids off and pick them up like, man, it's just
[46:45] Speaker 2: I don't know if you're saying, but I need to
[46:47] Speaker 2: have I need to like get out just for that
[46:50] Speaker 2: little window. Yeah, otherwise, get the shits.
[46:53] Speaker 1: Don't be so hard on yourself, I know and like
[46:56] Speaker 1: and that's not just you as well, but like also
[46:58] Speaker 1: every parent out there that has this, because we all
[47:00] Speaker 1: have that feeling, especially when it's there's such a young
[47:04] Speaker 1: child and you're like, Okay, well now I want to
[47:06] Speaker 1: get the groundwork in and you get distracted. People get distracted,
[47:09] Speaker 1: So don't put too much pressure on yourself. Thank you,
[47:11] Speaker 1: That's what I would say, But I'm not an expert. Matt.
[47:16] Speaker 1: It's another week of One of our favorite segments is it's.
[47:19] Speaker 8: Lies, Tell Me Love, Tell Me Week, Little Live Ash.
[47:29] Speaker 2: This is my favorite segment and it is, of course
[47:31] Speaker 2: parental Lies. A Dirty Dad's edition is brought to you
[47:34] Speaker 2: by Omer Capsules. Remember when life gives you laundry, keep
[47:38] Speaker 2: up with Capsules. I have been sent a lot of
[47:41] Speaker 2: footage of me at the supermarket. Apparently there is a
[47:45] Speaker 2: little sticker of me in the laundry aisle when I'm
[47:50] Speaker 2: dancing around a clothesline.
[47:52] Speaker 1: Okay, next time behind of my house, you might be shocked.
[47:56] Speaker 1: There's on my wall. No, not yet. Tara Padlovich from
[48:03] Speaker 1: The Bachelor.
[48:04] Speaker 2: She was there picking up some laundry items and her
[48:06] Speaker 2: kids were like, Mommy, who's that guy?
[48:08] Speaker 1: She's like, long story, do you want to go first? Man?
[48:14] Speaker 2: This is from Elisa Doubles Elissa the best way to
[48:18] Speaker 2: spell a Lissa.
[48:19] Speaker 1: I've always said that hell I is growing up.
[48:22] Speaker 2: My dad told me keish was pronounced QUICKI QUICKI. I
[48:28] Speaker 2: was a smart kid, but it legitimately looked like it
[48:31] Speaker 2: could have been pronounced that way in brackets. The English
[48:34] Speaker 2: language is very weird. I agree, agreed, So I never
[48:38] Speaker 2: questioned it until I was seventeen. I'll get in a
[48:43] Speaker 2: lot of trouble, and I asked my bloody step dad
[48:46] Speaker 2: if he was having a quickie. He was equally confused, amused,
[48:51] Speaker 2: and embarrassed. But I assure you not as embarrassed as
[48:55] Speaker 2: I was when he taught me what it was actually called.
[48:58] Speaker 1: What an asshole of a dad. That's definitely one of
[49:01] Speaker 1: those lines they've told them and then forgotten they've told them,
[49:03] Speaker 1: and then they've grown up and been like, you haven't
[49:05] Speaker 1: a quickie over there? It's like, excuse me for what? Purpose.
[49:09] Speaker 1: Why would you like he's just just messing with hers,
[49:11] Speaker 1: just messing and then forgot. That's the worst part. I'll
[49:14] Speaker 1: go next. This is Tamarra Lee. Not tomorrow Tamora Lee.
[49:19] Speaker 2: Okay, Sarah Lee, but with the tamorate cakes very oa
[49:24] Speaker 2: in the freezer.
[49:25] Speaker 1: But this is about It's not about cakes, Tamora Lee.
[49:28] Speaker 1: We give our children a chewable multi vitamin and probiotic
[49:32] Speaker 1: gummy every night after bathtime. We call them lollies. We
[49:35] Speaker 1: do this. They truly think they are being rewarded and
[49:39] Speaker 1: can even use them as bribery. Quick getting the bath.
[49:43] Speaker 1: If you want a lolly, eat your dinner, if you
[49:45] Speaker 1: want a lolly. I need to start doing doing this
[49:48] Speaker 1: for years.
[49:49] Speaker 2: I need to start. I mean at the moment, medicine.
[49:52] Speaker 2: Lola loves the taste of medicine. They love strawberry.
[49:56] Speaker 1: To be fair, It's delicious.
[49:57] Speaker 2: She's like growing pains, really sore, and I'm like, is
[50:01] Speaker 2: it She's like, just give it to me.
[50:03] Speaker 1: I wonder, give it to me now, I wonder. I
[50:05] Speaker 1: couldn't find the pandole, like the adult pando I was like,
[50:08] Speaker 1: fuck this, swinging it, just swinging the I was like,
[50:11] Speaker 1: how many meals do I need? But man, it's stand goods.
[50:17] Speaker 1: Drop that next time.
[50:20] Speaker 8: All right?
[50:21] Speaker 2: This one is from Sharon, spelt as h E double r.
[50:27] Speaker 2: How do you think ash y n y n no
[50:32] Speaker 2: sharme charmee.
[50:33] Speaker 1: It's a shrine. It's a shrine to sharerime, shrine to lies.
[50:37] Speaker 2: The ice cream truck comes around my daughter's neighborhood at
[50:40] Speaker 2: seven pm on weekends. Hang on a second's are you
[50:43] Speaker 2: sure it's an ice cream truck and not something else.
[50:45] Speaker 1: Ah, that's a pedophile. I just that's He's like the
[50:50] Speaker 1: ice cream is like, oh get there eventually, very late
[50:54] Speaker 1: for an ice cream truck. Don't you think it's late
[50:56] Speaker 1: for the truck, but perfect time for the dessert.
[51:00] Speaker 2: But wouldn't you do a lunchtime like when it's I mean,
[51:03] Speaker 2: I'm no ice cream truck expert myself, and not to
[51:06] Speaker 2: question Sharene's story.
[51:09] Speaker 1: Don't know? Okay, Savings, Maybe we'll get to the bottom
[51:13] Speaker 1: of this. VIC.
[51:14] Speaker 2: Remind me to look into this. If you told my
[51:16] Speaker 2: granddaughter that's the bedtime song for their suburb and all
[51:21] Speaker 2: the kids have to be in bed, it works every time.
[51:24] Speaker 1: That's new that.
[51:25] Speaker 3: Ice cream truck drivers like fuck it else quiet.
[51:27] Speaker 1: The moment I thought she was going to go down
[51:30] Speaker 1: there all that ice cream, which is the classic classic.
[51:32] Speaker 1: That's a classic. But the to go to bed song
[51:36] Speaker 1: is good.
[51:37] Speaker 2: I'm going to say that that is the biggest mistake
[51:40] Speaker 2: this ice cream truck driver has made.
[51:42] Speaker 1: Doing a seven o'clock round you ru it in business.
[51:44] Speaker 1: It's bad for business. Might sneak up on the one
[51:47] Speaker 1: time do a five o'clock That's true, you can do
[51:49] Speaker 1: that too. That again, I'm last one from me from Daniel,
[51:53] Speaker 1: Nice and easy or Dan if you will. Is this
[51:58] Speaker 1: your partner Vic, No, it's not. When they just have
[52:01] Speaker 1: the spelling, please have Daniel. Oh yes, it is spelled
[52:03] Speaker 1: D for Daniel, A for Annuel, N for Neil, I
[52:08] Speaker 1: for il, and ill for ye. Okay, thank you, continue,
[52:13] Speaker 1: perfect pronunciation, very good. Whenever the kids are accusing one
[52:17] Speaker 1: another of hitting each other, we tell them we have
[52:19] Speaker 1: a camera setup that they can't see and will go
[52:23] Speaker 1: look at the footage unless they tell us what really happened.
[52:27] Speaker 1: We're going to the bunker. You go straight to the
[52:29] Speaker 1: bunker for that one. I've done a similar lie.
[52:32] Speaker 3: Okay, but in the.
[52:33] Speaker 2: Back of the car, we've got a seven seater and
[52:36] Speaker 2: Marley loves to sit at.
[52:37] Speaker 3: The very back of the car.
[52:38] Speaker 1: It's a treat to get up to mischief.
[52:40] Speaker 2: And I'm sometimes I look in the review mirror and
[52:43] Speaker 2: she's jumping around and leave the place and I say,
[52:45] Speaker 2: you go, you see butte on? She goes yeah, and
[52:46] Speaker 2: I can check the camera. You don't have it on.
[52:49] Speaker 2: And she's like, how are you watching it? And I'm like,
[52:52] Speaker 2: cause I got a little monitor down here. And she's
[52:54] Speaker 2: like me and I'm like, it's just right here. You
[52:57] Speaker 2: can't sit down by my knees it. She's like out
[53:01] Speaker 2: the car. She's like, show me the monitor and I said, no,
[53:03] Speaker 2: it goes away when you stop.
[53:05] Speaker 1: The car automatic, and she's like really quizzing me. I'm
[53:08] Speaker 1: there sweating. I know. I love questioning. You can really
[53:11] Speaker 1: extend on them too. When it starts to go. You
[53:12] Speaker 1: can always just like it's a sense of here that
[53:14] Speaker 1: says your seat belts not on? Where were you? Where
[53:18] Speaker 1: were your gymnastics pick up? You know you got to
[53:20] Speaker 1: go with the camera. It just throws them off.
[53:22] Speaker 2: I think the fake camera. Once you get to seven,
[53:25] Speaker 2: it's run its course. I know, Ash, we need to
[53:28] Speaker 2: pick a winner, because one of these lies will win
[53:31] Speaker 2: an Omo prize pack.
[53:33] Speaker 1: My vote. My vote's going for the Tamra League with
[53:39] Speaker 1: the chewable vitamins. I was going to say the quickie.
[53:44] Speaker 1: Should we wrestle, see who wins? Make it a quickie? Okay,
[53:48] Speaker 1: A very good? We're talking. Okay, Vick, you are the
[53:52] Speaker 1: deciding who do you want to win?
[53:54] Speaker 5: The I love the Cara.
[53:58] Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I tried, Lisa, congratulations you were getting a
[54:02] Speaker 2: Maddy J poster and well.
[54:08] Speaker 1: That was lies. Thanks again to Omo Capsules for sponsoring
[54:11] Speaker 1: this segment of Parental Lives, the Dirty Dad's edition finding
[54:14] Speaker 1: in stores at leading retails and users directed always keep
[54:17] Speaker 1: out of sight and reach of children like up a
[54:20] Speaker 1: lie about it? How good? How Good's a capsule? Very good?
[54:23] Speaker 1: What does O M O stand for? That's the real question.
[54:26] Speaker 3: Let's get next week.
[54:27] Speaker 1: How many acronyms is that?
[54:29] Speaker 3: Ash?
[54:29] Speaker 1: It is time for your favorite part of the show. Goodbye, goodbye,
[54:35] Speaker 1: I'm out of here. You finish it off. So have
[54:38] Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode? Do not send a review? Reverse,
[54:43] Speaker 1: don't do it.
[54:44] Speaker 3: I know you won't do it.
[54:45] Speaker 1: I know you won't. You won't do it.
[54:47] Speaker 3: I bet you won't.
[54:48] Speaker 1: I bet you're too busy. I bet your friends do
[54:50] Speaker 1: it better than you.
[54:51] Speaker 2: Bet you don't even care. I want to check, and
[54:54] Speaker 2: I promise you that there's not going to be any
[54:55] Speaker 2: more reviews.
[54:56] Speaker 1: Please do it.
[54:58] Speaker 2: But if you want to do it either on Spotify,
[55:01] Speaker 2: you can do it on individual episodes, or in Apple
[55:03] Speaker 2: podcasts and subscribe so all future episodes get delivered directly
[55:07] Speaker 2: into your inbox, or you can.
[55:09] Speaker 1: John's on social media Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, or the Facebook group.
[55:13] Speaker 1: And remember, when you do subscribe, you get all the
[55:14] Speaker 1: episodes directly to your inbox, including next week's guest episode,
[55:18] Speaker 1: which happens to be doctor Gollie, you little pediatrician. A
[55:23] Speaker 1: little teaser. I've got a rash. I mean one of
[55:26] Speaker 1: my kids has a rash. It's still there. Yeah, look
[55:29] Speaker 1: when I walk, you can scrape together. Get them to
[55:32] Speaker 1: look at your hemorrhoids. At the moment they're withinstan me
[55:35] Speaker 1: so we'll see if they come back out. Lots to
[55:37] Speaker 1: look forward to next week. Goodbye, see you guys. Come on,
[55:54] Speaker 1: come on, don't fucking cracking joke. I'm not, I'm not.
[55:58] Speaker 1: I just feel like we just over here living my life.
[56:03] Speaker 1: This is who I am. Where are the outtakes, there's none.
[56:08] Speaker 1: It's all good, it's all gold. We'll be right back
[56:11] Speaker 1: after this.
[56:13] Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
[56:17] Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
[56:21] Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
[56:23] Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
[56:27] Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land

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